Thomas Gainsborough, Blue Ben (c. 1770) (oil on canvas)
Shorter Ben Shapiro, J.D., Esquire, The Patriot Post
Meghan McCain’s Big Bust
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
The “rapper” is Steve Chowder from Breitblart’s Island for Misfit Boys, once again proving that it’s the liberals who are the real racists.
* Atrios’s started the YouTube war here. D. Aristophanes kicked Atrios’s butt here. Thers’s lame pansy-assed effort to retaliate is here. We win! WOLVERINES!!!
. . . and the white ones are girls, and the blue ones are
just little sillies who are not sure what they are.”
Shorter Frau Debbie Schlüssel von Flügelhorn
Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Sister Elizabeth Mary Magdalene Immaculata Scalia, O.C., The Anchoress
Yes, Every Sperm is Sacred
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Pity poor Noel Sheppard. Forced to scour the liberal media daily for socialist perfidy and Marxist inclinations to expose over at News Blusters, he now can’t help but find liberal shenanigans everywhere. The cashier at Red Lobster who said “here’s your change, sir” was making a not-so-veiled reference to Obama’s campaign slogan. Everywhere he looks, there are no-right-turn-on-red signs. (Why not just no turns on red, huh?). Then there was that mysterious image of Che Guevara on his breakfast toast last week.
So, you’d think that when Noel somehow or other got a hold of a copy of last week’s New Yorker, he would have found plenty of things to push him into a slobbering apoplexy just in the index alone (not to mention the cartoons!) without having to find this sinister plot in an article on Google.
Former Vice President Al Gore a few years ago advised Internet behemoth Google about “aspects of search quality.”
Such was reported by the New Yorker in its October 12 issue (subscription required).
By themselves, the following paragraphs from this 6500-word piece don’t mean much.
In other words: “Nothing in the article actually supports the liberal machinations I am about to reveal but that’s never stopped me before.”
However, given the ongoing concerns about Google’s political leanings and how its search algorithms might be manipulated to favor liberal news outlets over conservative points of view, the very idea that Gore might have had any input to this process is worrisome to say the least.
Those liberal search al-gore-ithms probably explain why the first site that comes up in a Google search on “Obama” and “Kenya” is a Wing Nut Daily article with the Kenyan birth certificate touted by Orly Taitz, D.D.S, CIPS®, J.D.
So, a few years ago, Gore raised some concerns about “search quality,” and then sat in Google’s office for three hours watching ten “search-quality researchers and specialists in charge of this part of the business” work on solving problems he shared with the company’s owners.
What were these concerns? Were they personally or politically motivated?
The article didn’t say
Does Noel Sheppard piddle in his pants? His blog post didn’t say. But, of course, we can only assume that he does. But, in fact, the article does say what Gore’s concerns were, but Sheppard, oh-so-conveniently omits that from his post. Gore is on Apple’s Board of Directors with a fiduciary obligation to the company’s shareholders, an obligation not to insist that the first result of every Google search returns the Wikipedia pages on Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin. Life isn’t a South Park episode where celebrities and political figures just randomly show up and say stupid things.
Honestly, I’m beginning to feel sorry for Sheppard. He’s really just on the verge of posting on his discovery that cereal names are another attempt to indoctrinate the nation’s youth with liberal ideas. You know, it’s just one small step from Fruit Loops to gay marriage. And don’t even get him started on Cocoa Puffs.
UPDATE: Well, it appears that Noel Sheppard took time off from seeing what socialist propaganda was spelled out by the letters in his morning bowl of Alpha-Bits to come over here and register a protest:
Tintin,
You stated in your piece, “But, in fact, the article does say what Gore’s concerns were, but Sheppard, oh-so-conveniently omits that from his post.”
Could you please specifically cite from the article in question exactly what Gore’s concerns were and then demonstrate that quote was not in the three paragraphs I included in my piece that came directly from the New Yorker story?
If not, would you please correct what appears to be a misstatement on your part?
Thank you.
Noel Sheppard
Dear, dear, this guy is a dimwit with serious reading problems. Noel, you didn’t mention that Gore was a director of Apple. That, as I say in the post, gives him a fiduciary concern. In case the term “fiduciary” is unfamiliar to you, and it may be unfamiliar to you as a guy who earns a living collecting wingnut welfare, it refers to Gore’s obligations to pursue the interest of Apple’s shareholders and not any personal interests. So, his concern was not “personally or politically motivated” as you naively wonder. His concern would have been fiduciarily motivated.
Here’s the reference to Gore as a director of Apple in the article which you didn’t mention. You just tried to make it look like he randomly showed up at Google headquarters ranting about the ManBearPig:
I think, Noel, that you now owe it to your readers to correct your error and to tell your readers that Gore is a director of Apple and not just some meddling liberal who showed up one day to fiddle with the Google’s search engine for his own personal reasons. Then you can go back to your bowl of Alpha-Bits.
It’s quite possible that Russ J. Alan’s great-grandparents are “embarrassed” by how tragically un-hip he “is”:
In a twitter, all blogged up in the web
Ok, I’m on twitter now and each time I log on, I see I have a couple more “followers.” How are they finding me? I guess twitter is a “Social Networking Platform” so I click to follow my “followers”…Is it a status thing to have lotsa “followers”? So I thank ’em by “following” them? Once you have lotsa followers, how do you have time to read all their “tweets” and function as a normal human being, you know, work and everything? Maybe that’s it — what is a normal human being anymore when we all say stuff like “OMG I just twittered my blog! I hope my “followers” got my tweets!” You hear people in the coffee shop: “Yo! How’ve you been! Yeah been a long time…where’ve I been? Upstairs! Yeah man! See you on Facebook! Tweet you later!”
You can read the rest on your own, in the meantime let’s skip to:
© Russ J. Alan
Well, there goes our plan to hijack this one and call it our own …
BONUS: If Atrios wants a war, we’ll give him a war … with the DEVIL!!!!1!
Via Lawyers, Guns and Money by way of B&P, we learn of a new online game for faux-survivalist shut-ins based on the premise (or desperate fear/desire) that in 2011 Obama has suspended the Constitution and created the ‘North American Union’ with Mexico and Canada:
Private ownership of firearms has been outlawed, and Obama has promised a new era of equality and peace. Unfortunately for Obama, Americans would not act like the sheep he had taken them for. Revolution begins.
This is what the ‘Revolution’ looks like:
Chaos ensues throughout the nation! The Second American Revolution is in full swing by February of 2011, with lists posted by patriots, county by county, naming dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture. After 7 weeks of fighting in every state, and with the refusal of most United States military branches to obey orders to fire upon American citizens, Obama’s forces are slowly whittled away. The remnants of the Obama loyalists retreat to Virginia. After tens of thousands of their troops are killed, The International Service Union Empire (I.S.U.E.) has just 40,000 left, but still controls three full counties in the name of former President Barack Hussein Obama… Or so they think. The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth (C.O.R.N.Y.) controls three counties near Washington D.C., with reports of having at least 60,000 loyalists for Obama.
But rounding up government workers and slaying tens of thousands of your fellow citizens is just part of the appeal of this ‘action packed, satire-filled war game that takes place in the not-so-distant future’. And amazingly, it gets better than C.O.R.N.Y. and the International Service Union Empire. Under ‘Breaking News’:
Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Found Dead in Camp
March 5, 2011 – Clark County, VA – A FEMA camp was liberated today, one of two still controlled by the war criminals loyal to Obama. Rush Limbaugh was executed over a week earlier, we are told, and Glenn Beck was found in his cell and has died, incredibly of an ‘aspirin overdose’, the preferred way to send a message to the enemies of Obama.
C.O.R.N.Y. Plants Some ACORNS in Eastern Virginia
March 5, 2011 – The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’. The rally was attacked by a few hundred Militia members led by Ted Nugent. The children were spared but all others were slaughtered.
Of course, none of this probably matters much, since we are apparently in for a nuclear winter anyway:
The Last Arab-Israeli War Death Count
Washington D.C. – The Final Arab Israeli war cost a total of 4 million Israeli casualties when Iran nuked Tel Aviv in June of 2010. 17 million Iranians also died when Israel counter-struck, destroying Iran’s top 10 cities, including Tehran, Mashhad, Esfahan and Tabriz. Other targets of Israel’s counterattack include Riyadh, Mecca, Cairo and Islamabad.
And my personal favorites (italics mine):
Former V.P. Joe Biden Captured Outside Arlington
March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was captured today after an incredible firefight in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Ameri-Troops and Islamic Warrior Guard were gunned down by the Virginia Citizens Militia and elements from T.A.M. (Texas Arizona Militia) with Sean Hannity, the former FOX broadcaster, leading the way.
Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd (The Man Of the Ban) Captured
March 6, 2011 – Mark Lloyd, the Marxist who was put in charge of the FCC by Barack Obama was captured today by the MRC Militias run by L. Brent Bozell.
Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail
March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured. Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions and just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.
On the topic of Sadly, No! favorite Chris Muir SEK at LGM makes a good point:
I think the lameness of having one of your characters enthusiastically egg on the lunatic rant of another requires no further definition. Toss in the fact that “You’re really cookin'” is a painfully awful pun, and you’re left thinking that Chaucer fellow I quoted in the title was onto something. If only someone would do something about Muir’s crimes against the English language, freshmen logic, comedy and the comic form . . .
Maybe one should give credit to Muir for not having used “hoo ha” But there’s one (ever popular) conservative talking point so impressive in its stupidity it needs to be highlighted:
Leaving aside the (obvious) fact that having 47 percent of households owe no federal income tax isn’t in and of itself a reason for those who do (pay said tax) to get angry (damn poor people and their no paying federal income tax), how amazingly stupid does one have to be to confuse federal income tax and all taxes? Stupid enough, one reckons, to believe it could actually be true that nearly half of the population pays no taxes at all.* Must be tough living in a universe where you’re the only one paying taxes and no one ever helps you out — are you listening, Craig T. Nelson?
* Is this like fact-checking a SNL skit? Sadly, yes.
Man, you KNOW it’s a hip-hop nation when you catch Pastor Swank working on his flow:
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Iranian thug leaders are imploring the United Nations to slap Israel around for Israel stating that nation will ruin Iran if Iran does not peace up.
But the Iranians be like, ‘brahs befo’ shahs’, yo. They ain’t nevah gonna peace up, know dat.
Brad adds: I think the RNC needs to give Swank a blog on their homepage with the name “Peace Up.” Thoughts?
The Bible makes much of a slip of land the size of New Jersey—Israel. God has a liking for the small place and the little people. Check it out in the Scriptures for numerous examples.
His all-time favorite is a Jewish jockey who lives in a cramped apartment in Newark. It’s in Lamentations.
Therefore, the navel of the planet—Israel—is once again bringing to headlines daily biblical names: Bethlehem, Jerusalem, Galilee, Nazareth and the like.
This just begs the question – is Israel an innie or an outie?
This geography where God incarnate ministered publicly for three years has brought history full circle at the close of the Church Age. The tiny Israel piece is THE focal point when all is said and done.
Especially if it’s a tiny Israel piece on the side, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
The Bible underscores, for instance, the Valley of Megiddo. There the last battle of the Church Age will take place. At its height, Christ will return in the clouds, angels and redeemed saints joining Him.
It’ll be really weird when this never ever ever never never ever ever never never never ever ever never happens.
It has been Israel that has continued to be the center of the most significant religious and political happenings worldwide. Now today all eyes continue to scan Israel for the latest tremor, promise and confusion.
Personally, I waited for the iConfusion 3G-S before jumping on that particular bandwagon.
No wonder the devil’s Islam threatens the Holy Land. Just as the devil has always salivated to take the throne of God in heaven, the devil seeks to rule from God’s Holy Land.
Therefore, Iran’s rule screeches out threats against Israel, Satan actually being the voice thrusting forth from Iran’s throat.
Demons don’t stand a chance. God is God. God tops demons.
It’s true. Thrusting Iranian throat demons are totally bottoms.
God will possess His land by the rule of the Son Christ. God will squash the Islamic attacks, not because Israel deserves preserving due to its allegiance to the Messiah Christ but because God loves His land.
In Ezekiel, God prophesied that He would bring back His Holy Land, furnishing it agriculturally and urban-wise, not because the Israelis deserve all that but to vindicate His holy name.
Because, really, at the end of the day these are fucking Jews we’re talking about.
Never take your eyes off Israel. Note demonic Iran’s bad-mouthing Israel. Then watch how God works through both components to establish biblical prophecy—piece by piece.
By Dyme Piece, playa!
So much that even its most devoted sycophants won’t stand up for it:
TheGaryRuppert Either the new GOP site is experiencing a DOS attack from liberals, or they need a better server. What a mess of a site #tcot
If you’ve lost Gary Ruppert, you’ve lost Moran America.