Because, really, at the end of the day these are fucking Jews we’re talking about.

Indeed. Swank pretty much spoke the unspeakable truth of the Christo-fundies, didn’t he?

The world has a navel? Does that mean it wasn’t divinely created?

Yeah, Swinks? If god can’t beat satan after 6000 years of combat (after being bad enough at his deity job to create satan in the first place), he ain’t going to pull it out of his hat tomorrow.

Yeah, no kidding. Swank has no self-editing mechanism, of course. But it’s not like it’s a giant secret that fundies would get their greatest thrill from a vengeful metaphysical entity destroying Jewish homes and everybody inside them with earthquakes, fires and plague.

[quote]Never take your eyes off Israel. Note demonic Iran’s bad-mouthing Israel. Then watch how God works through both components to establish biblical prophecy—piece by piece.[/quote]

Is it me, or does this shit read like a bad romance novel blurb? Or, maybe bad fantasy? Like, what if we phrased the whole Iran/Israel Swanky saga is overwrought purple prose?

Perhaps I need to sleep.

Or, I could learn how to use tags. That could be good. Also.

Reason tells me that when Swank dies, he’ll slip into the dark like all the rest of us, never meeting the God of his delusions, his atoms dissipating into the void … but I have this weird feeling that his mangled syntax will somehow cause a perceivable disturbance in Oblivion itself.

God has a liking for the small place and the little people

Does he mean Israel, or Ireland?

wadeaminnit. Wasn’t the navel of the world in Greece? How did Israel become the omphalos all of all of a sudden? Hernia surgery? Palestinectomy?

but I have this weird feeling that his mangled syntax will somehow cause a perceivable disturbance in Oblivion itself.

As if millions of English teachers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Oblivion itself.

Poor Sheogorath. He doesn’t know what he’s got coming to him.

If Man is 5

Then the Devil is 6
Then God is 7

It’s true: God does top the Devil.

“Holy Land,” my god-damned ass. Either the whole planet is “holy,” or no part of it is.

Does he mean Israel, or Ireland?

Lilliput.

Ahh, this is a breath of fresh air: a bracing dose of Swankery which 9 out of 10 womb-humans prefer, according to the latest surveys.

Teh Music of the Spheres always resolves on the umbilical chord– no discordant navel-gazing allowed in this rarefied realm.

Holy Shit! Again?

You’re trying to steal my vital essence aren’t you, J.G.?

“Demons don’t stand a chance. God is God. God tops demons.”

Yeah, that and a hundred tactical nukes that can reach Demonland from the navel.

God has a liking for the small place and the little people

Does he mean Israel, or Ireland?

Just another veiled PENIS reference.

If God were truly omnipotent, would he let this sort of complete bugfuck insanity run free and unfettered across His creation?

Geeyaz, this Swank stuff is like shootin’ devilfish in a barrel full of demon rum. Prob’ly about time to call it a night, since that aforementioned spirit is startin’ to take hold in earnest.

This just begs the question – is Israel an innie or an outie?
Omphalos stones are always outies. Didn’t they teach you that at school?

A young idler, an old beggar.

I love Swank – he’s like a fire-&-brimstone e.e. cummings:
Take thy wackety stick and
r
e
p
e
n
t,
SSSSSSSatan!

God has a liking for the small place and the little people

Oooh, bit of a bugger for America. Wondered briefly about Swank’s knowledge of geography, then realised that (a) he probably couldn’t even spell it, (b) he’d have a fine fulmination about eddumacashun, and (c) his stream-of-consciousness ranting would have moved onto coloured inks and vegetable peelings by then, so he would have no idea what geography had to do with anything.

God will possess His land by the rule of the Son Christ. God will squash the Islamic attacks, not because Israel deserves preserving due to its allegiance to the Messiah Christ but because God loves His land.

Wow….God as property owner.

Y’all keep looking for it, but I think we’ve found peak wingnut right here.

The navel of the planet is Rapa Nui, and don’t you forget it.

Christianity: It’s a hell of a drug.

Why can’t these guys ever go one column without using the words “throat” and “shove” (or thrust) in the same sentence?

Iranian throat thrusting demon seeks elderly white male for apocalyptic good time, navel play.

Y’all keep looking for it, but I think we’ve found peak wingnut right here.

See, this is a perfect demonstration of the Law of Fractal Wingnut: If you keep looking you’ll just keep finding a higher peak.

Here’s gainfully-unemployed Sarah Palin’s 2nd post on the official new GeeOhPee dot com 2.0 website forum. For full effect, read the bolded bit out loud in your best Sarah impression.

Sarah Palin Posted Today @ 2:52 AM
My fellow republicans.

I think senator Snowe has breathed new life into the Death panel debate. Although her actions may seem a little rash now, she is only giving the Obama administration false hope that this bill will become law. In my view she has the “maverick” spirit in her and we should applaud her.

Will all laugh just a little harder when it fails further down the legislative path and then we can can all move onto more important issues, such as the Obamas birth certificate.
I hope in my lifetime we don’t see Obamas death panels become law, its much more important that we allow the private health insurance companies manage the business of letting people die because they are poor. If the insurance companies have enough money this will naturally inspire the poor to get wealthier and then they can afford health care… simple.

I love you all.

Your Sarah

xxx

I be the man up in this tiny Israel piece. For three years.

islmfaoscist (is that like an Islamic maoist?)

Too bad that’s a spoof. But I like that John Bennett dude. Sounds like a guy who is looking for his very own throat thrusting demon for some teabagging fun.

I’m callin’ fake Sarah Palin on the Gooper site. No way. I mean, she wouldn’t really say that, would she?

Ah, coffee now. Yes, a spoof. But funny. And one wonders what they will do about it. The Intertoobs can be hard to manage.

I’m calling fake Sarah too, if it weren’t for the birfer comment I might have been persuaded.

So…I guess Mars and Venus fucked, and 9 months later Venus gave birth to Earth, who cut the umbilical cord though? The rings of Saturn I suppose, in buzz saw fashion.

Also, can someone pop google earth or look at a globe and tell us where the asshole of the planet is? It seems to me it might just be in America.

God has a liking for the small place and the little people

Irish nookie – it’s divine!

can someone pop google earth or look at a globe and tell us where the asshole of the planet is?

I’m going with the Vatican City. Where the Poop lives.

Dang, I thought it said piece, not place. Gotta clean my contacts.

If Israel is the navel of the world then Tacoma, Washington is the armpit.

And. Steele’s response to the inauspicious launch?

Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele appeared on Fox this afternoon to talk about the RNC’s newly relaunched web site, which has taken heat today and been down intermittently, presumably from a bump in traffic.

“It’s not even really a web site,” Steele said. “It’s a new platform for us.”

To those that have been mocking the site by saying just that, he said it’s “a beta site.”

OK, then.

For a good time:

Graffiti ain’t what it used to be.

Does Grandmaster Swank have a comment on this? Poor little religious veal…

“He will descend through the atmosphere, His feet touching the Mount of Olives, splitting it in half from east to west. From there He will proceed to the Holy City to rule for a thousand years. His saints will rule alongside Him as “priests and kings,” that is, in religion and politics.”

Can’t we just donate an island for these people and stage a similar event, just to get them to leave us the hell alone?

Oh rats, my italics got loose.

Can’t we just donate an island for these people and stage a similar event

You’ll need Michael Bay to direct.

““It’s not even really a web site,” Steele said.

Well, actually, yes it is. It’s just a really crappy web site.

“Sir, your website is crap!”

“No, that’s not true, my web site is not crap because it’s not a web site!”

Also, can someone pop google earth or look at a globe and tell us where the asshole of the planet is? It seems to me it might just be in America.

Florida is the Wang. So that makes Texass…
~

“the RNC’s newly relaunched web site”

I don’t think there enough internets for how badly the site is going to be trolled. The only question right now seems to be what’s the best user-name…

Pablo from Mexico might work rather nicely, especially if it becomes clear Pablo is from Mexico, but not in Mexico.

The Bible makes much of a slip of land the size of New Jersey—Israel. God has a liking for the small place and the little people. Check it out in the Scriptures for numerous examples.

I don’t think this is impressive as he thinks it is, honestly.The Bible was written in Israel, so it’s sort of like trying to impress someone with the fact that Faulkner wrote a lot about Mississippi.

And I have never heard a preacher use the phrase “Son Christ”. I wonder if Swank’s trying to come up with hip new preacher terms, like a teenager trying to make “bucket means lame” popular in his school.

he Bible was written in Israel, so it’s sort of like trying to impress someone with the fact that Faulkner wrote a lot about Mississippi.

Except that Faulkner showed a deep understanding of human nature and had the ability to write clearly.

And I have never heard a preacher use the phrase “Son Christ”.

Son Christ used to play the juke joints with Charley Patton and Fiddlin’ Joe Patterson down around Robinsonville back before the war.

I dunno about Swank. I’m actually concerned. His writing is brain tumor bad at this point.

Just out of curiosity: if Swank is so concerned about the Jews, and if he feels that they are God’s chosen people (which, of course, they might be–what the hell do I know about it?), why doesn’t he convert?

why doesn’t he convert?

I think the concern about Jews is because they’re supposed to keep Jerusalem clean or something before the second coming and then they all get killed and it’s happy days for Bible thumpers.

So you how at the Country Club the members are “concerned” about the guy whodoes the gardening? Same story here, I think, assuming my theological understanding is in the right ball-park.

“Holy Land,” my god-damned ass. Either the whole planet is “holy,” or no part of it is.
We are inside a “First Corinthians Amendment Zone.”

I think a good way to describe the way your wingnuttier fundamentalist Christian perceives the Jews would be to say that they are the canaries in the coalmine of Armegeddon.

You know, if you break it out, it actually does sound like rap.

Iranian thug leaders
are imploring the United Nations
to slap Israel around
for Israel stating
that nation
will ruin Iran
if Iran does not peace up
[and get with the plan].

The Bible makes much of a slip of land
[of] the size
of New Jersey
—Israel.
God has a liking for the small place
and the little people.
Check it out in the Scriptures for numerous ex-am-poles.

Therefore, the navel of the planet
—Israel—
is once again
bringing to headlines
daily biblical names:
Beth-le-hem,
Jer-u-salem,
Gal-i-lee,
Na-za-reth
and the like.

This geography where God incarnate
ministered publicly for
three
[whole]
years
has brought history full circle
at the close of the Church Age.
The tiny Israel piece is
THE
THE
THE
focal point
when all is said
and [all is] done.

Never take your eyes off Israel.
Note demonic Iran’s
bad-mouthing Israel.
Then watch how God works
through both components
to establish
biblical
prophecy
—[peace] by [peace].

Peace out, ya’ll

can someone pop google earth or look at a globe and tell us where the asshole of the planet is?
Right near Earth’s taint, silly!

The navel of the planet?

Swank is just mailing shit in. He really needs to change his meds.

where the asshole of the planet is?

Elizabeth, NJ

God incarnate ministered publicly for three years

Pfft. 3 years. Big fucking deal.

That’s no staying power.

Hell, even Al Nipper pitched for more than 3 years.

God incarnate’s a pussy.

Pastor Swank addresses the planet’s navel:

‘It rubs the Apocalypse on its skin!’

I have a theory that certain Christians are actually just fantasy dorks who (just like extreme Tolkein or WoW or D&D fans) want to live out the captivating Good vs. Evil fantasy that is the bible. Unfortunately, their dorkitude and obsession is at least somewhat socially acceptable. I think this douchebag falls into that category.

God has a liking for the small place and the little people

Aye, ’tis true. He’s always after their lucky charms.

“Satan actually being the voice thrusting forth from Iran’s throat. Demons don’t stand a chance. God is God. God tops demons.”

Re: “It’s true. Thrusting Iranian throat demons are totally bottoms.”

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen, read, heard about, seen on teh TeeVee or teh MooVee, etc, etc et cetera.

These troglodytes are so clueless they don’t even realize their parlance is completely of teh ghey they so loathe and despise because they are teh ghey.

Accept your gift and move on, dearies.

Teh ghey is pretty cool once you give over to it.

… he said it’s “a beta site.”

That’s a pretty big understatement. At this point, it’s a beta party, just throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks.

Ahh! Improper use of “begs the question” alert! I don’t know if I can ever enjoy S,N! again.

“where the asshole of the planet is?

Elizabeth, NJ.”

Gonna have to stop you there.

I grew up in Elizabeth.

I take offence to your foreigners’ blithe indictment of my hometown.

The asshole of the planet is Paterson, NJ.

Get your furry furriner story straight.

Tha Swankstah vs. Glen Beck in a jibbering fool cage match!

This is not a website.

where the asshole of the planet is?

Beth, NJ formerly Elizabeth, New Jersey*

*from a cartoon I once saw in an old New Yorker.

Pfft. 3 years. Big fucking deal.

Hey, cut the guy some slack. He got tortured and killed on the job. If that had happened to Nipper, I guarantee you he’d have retired as soon as he came back from the dead.

I grew up in Elizabeth.

You have my sympathies. And condolences on the third appendix.

I should have been clearer. PORT Elizabeth.

Better?

“God has a liking for the small place and the little people. ”

This was clearly written before the infamous Munchkinland tsunami…

With all due respect to Oklahomans (and New Jerseyites), I fail to see how Oklahoma is not the asshole of the planet. You can’t even grow anything there.

Did anyone know convicted felon Conrad Black posted at ASW?

Neither did I.

Also. Doughbob reminds us he loves sammiches.
In writing this time.

Jonah:

and I still can’t go back, truth be told, to the tongue.

I bet that attitude is not so popular with his wife.

But Jonah, why the Formica-hate? Do you prefer GRANITE countertops?

Jonah also:

A reader informs me that my Googled deli street-cred was off-base just a little.

i thought the asshole of the world was in pennsylvannia, but then remembered that was the armpit.

Tongue is the Jew of delicatessen fascism.

This what conservatives actually believe.

Anyon who has ever visited the Berkely Pit in Butte, Montana, knows, without any doubt, where the planet’s asshole is. Hell, they almost spelled the name of the town correctly.

Can’t we just hold an apocalypse for these people to shut them the fuck up? Have their big party in Megiddo or wherever. Brad Pitt as Jesus, Angelina Jolie as the Whore of Babylon, Ashton Kutcher as the Antichrist. Then we can move them all into a subdivision called Paradise and forget about them.

Nashua, New Hampshire is the germ on the hair on the pimple on the hemmorhoid on the asshole of the world.

Finally the real Pastor Swank.

I was getting tired of the imitators.

Jonah also:

A reader informs me that my Googled deli street-cred was off-base just a little.

Central to his point is that he remembers the sammiches, not so much where he bought them from.

I fail to see how Oklahoma is not the asshole of the planet. You can’t even grow anything there.

Are you saying the corn is NOT as high as an elephant’s eye? That Rodgers and Hammerstein would LIE TO ME?

I cannot go on. Goodbye, cruel world.

I didn’t know the bible mentions megadildos. I should read it more often. Or at all.

Angelina Jolie as the Whore of Babylon

Interest, website, newsletter.

Are you saying the corn is NOT as high as an elephant’s eye? That Rodgers and Hammerstein would LIE TO ME?

Hammerstein had a lisp. That was meant to read “high as a heretic’s eye”.

Okay, which one of you guys did this?

I find it hilarious that the gop.com guys are so fucking inept that they didn’t think of the fact that they might want to have some sort of approval system in place for posted photos.

I didn’t know the bible mentions megadildos.

They’re probably humorless.

That Rodgers and Hammerstein would LIE TO ME?

Yes, I’m sorry to say. You should also know that everything is *not* better in Kansas City. Life is full of disappointment.

You should also know that everything is *not* better in Kansas City. Life is full of disappointment.

You mean…*gulp*… I will walk alone????

Rodgers and Hammerstein would LIE TO ME?

Hmm. Tis a puzzlement.

I didn’t know the bible mentions megadildos.

Quick question. Does that mean really big dildos, or millions of dildos?

You mean…*gulp*… I will walk alone????

Uh huh. And there are no damn dreams at the end of rainbows, either. Believe me, I checked.

Quick question. Does that mean really big dildos, or millions of dildos?

Both.

And there are no damn dreams at the end of rainbows, either. Believe me, I checked.

So some enchanted evening, I won’t see a stranger?

I feel an attack of the vapors!

I find it hilarious that the gop.com guys are so fucking inept that they didn’t think of the fact that they might want to have some sort of approval system in place for posted photos.

The idea that someone would be uncivil never crossed their minds.

I didn’t know the bible mentions megadildos.
Quick question. Does that mean really big dildos, or millions of dildos?

Somehow, I sort of see a dinosaur from the movie “Flesh Gordon”…

“God tops demons.”

But does paper cover God? Do demons fall between rock and scissors?

This is really complicated.

(now I’ll go back and read the comments)

I didn’t know the bible mentions megadildos.

The Tower of Babel, much? A schlong so huge people scatter in all directions speaking different languages.

This is really complicated.

I’m telling you–fantasy neeerds. They need a 32-sided die for this shit.

(I almost typed “dildo” instead of “die.” Not really sure what that means).

I am by upbringing, inclination, and in all other ways destined, programmed, and commited to loving the Jewish deli. I love the look, feel, and taste of them (the food, not the formica tables). They remind me of my dad more than any other kind of commercial establishment.

This is really disturbing. He’s suggesting the father is the child of the cannibal.

Y’know, it’s a pity that, while unhinging his jaw and engulfing all this food, he never bothered to study up on the concept of a mitzvah or any of Maimonides.

Took after his (shikseh) Mom, this one did.

It’s not that everything’s better in Kansas City. Everything is up to date.

Ditto on spoof Palin (the child she never had).

Plus, this–

“See, this is a perfect demonstration of the Law of Fractal Wingnut: If you keep looking you’ll just keep finding a higher peak.”

–is my thesis, too. No matter how deeply you look into it, it keeps unfolding new levels of wingnut identical to the “higher” ones.

Oh, and I agree with Alison. Swank is sui generis–a combination of preacher, brain damaged hipster, and texting teen.

Also, Bali Hai won’t call you.

Bali Hai won’t call you.

He never does. No matter how much I put out for him.

Speaking of photos at the Gooper site (that is not a web site), someone posted a pic of Bill Murray as Karl the greenskeeper. “Karl Spackler.”

“It’s a real Cinderella story.”

“God is God. God tops demons.”

That’s hawt.

“In Ezekiel, God prophesied that He would bring back His Holy Land, furnishing it agriculturally and urban-wise, not because the Israelis deserve all that but to vindicate His holy name.”

Will god furnish his holy land with Ikea? My guess is yes because hell has all the best designers.

Will god furnish his holy land with Ikea? My guess is yes because hell has all the best designers.

Unfortunately, Ikea doesn’t design in cubits.

Even if all of his “Islam = Satan” bullshit were true, I still have one question:

If God is God and God tops demons, what the hell (as it were) is there to be worried about? He clearly doesn’t give a shit about innocent lives, since he thinks the Rapture is right around the corner.

What Dot said… This is word salad, Cobb-style with chopped-up extra toppings of incoherence. Someone needs to get Swank in for a neuro eval.

He’s suggesting the father is the child of the cannibal.

“Brothers and sisters have I none;
But this man’s father is my father’s son.”

You know what else is wrong with teh GOP beta-site?

Security.

Can’t we just hold an apocalypse for these people to shut them the fuck up? Have their big party in Megiddo or wherever. Brad Pitt as Jesus, Angelina Jolie as the Whore of Babylon, Ashton Kutcher as the Antichrist. Then we can move them all into a subdivision called Paradise and forget about them.

Oh holy shit, what a SUPERB idea. It could be like the movie “Wag the Dog.” The Goddamn Batman is a goddamn genius. Somebody, do that immediately!

Ceci n’est pas un website

Of course Jewish delis remind Jonah of his dad: loud, ugly and full of cholesterol.

“God is God. God tops demons.”

That’s hawt.

The bible, as illustrated by Coop?

This just begs the question

Ouch.

I think the RNC needs to give Swank a blog on their homepage with the name “Peace Up.” Thoughts?

With the tagline “Pastizzle Swizzle is the Rizzle Dizzle”? Because if more than two words together make a lick of sense it will lack Swankisimilitude.

Then we can move them all into a subdivision called Paradise and forget about them.

Then pave it all over and turn it into a parking lot.

With the tagline “Pastizzle Swizzle is the Rizzle Dizzle”?

I think they should quote the Wizard from Tooter Turtle:

“Drizzle, drazzle, druzzle, drome; time for zis one to come home.”

They remind me of my dad more than any other kind of commercial establishment.

Why would delis remind DoughBob of any other kind of commercial establishment? Oh wait I see. He means delis remind him of his dad more than does any other kind of commercial establishment. Well then: Why would any particular commercial establishment remind one of one’s father? Necessarily, tht is? I mean, does one normally rely upon commercial establishments to jog one’s memory of one’s father? And/or more than another commercial establishment? I’m confused and forgot what my point was, which is central. Good lord I’ve been Swanktified!

There are, however, some crazy little women in Kansas City.

If God is God and God tops demons, what the hell (as it were) is there to be worried about? He clearly doesn’t give a shit about innocent lives, since he thinks the Rapture is right around the corner.

mmy – your first mistake is in trying to make sense out of Rapture theology. As I am gleefully fond of pointing out the Rupturists: “ok, suppose it’s true that this thing made up by this English preacher in the 1830s is actually going to come to pass: Jesus is going to come down from the clouds and raise up all the righteous, living and dead, to fly through the air to join him in heaven. How, exactly, will “righteousness” be defined? Will it be defined as “belief that the Rupture will happen” or will it be defined as “following the teachings of Christ to the greatest extent humanly possible”? And if it’s the latter, why not just work on that instead of spending all this time obsessing over the Rupture? If you just live right, it won’t make any difference to you when it happens, right? You’ll be among the saved. You don’t need to worry about it one way or the other.”

Always results in slack-jawed confusion on the part of the one to whom I’m speaking.

I think they should quote the Wizard from Tooter Turtle:

Oh, shit. I always thought that was just Paul Westerberg being weird.

Then we can move them all into a subdivision called Paradise and forget about them.

Then pave it all over and turn it into a parking lot.

Think boats. Boats.

There are, however, some crazy little women in Kansas City.

Built for comfort, dumb but pretty.

Uh…

“Therefore, Iran’s rule screeches out threats against Israel, Satan actually being the voice thrusting forth from Iran’s throat.”

I don’t think “Therefore” means what he thinks it means in this context.

Instead of “Given the preceeding, the following is logical” it seems to mean “Here’s some shit I just made up.”

Wow, as usual.

Jonah:

A reader corrects me. Ratner’s was a Kosher dairy (they had awesome onion rolls!). As such it didn’t serve deli meats.

Even I knew this. What a doofus.

I might take a plane.
I might take a (super)train.

will it be defined as “following the teachings of Christ to the greatest extent humanly possible”? And if it’s the latter, why not just work on that instead of spending all this time obsessing over the Rupture? If you just live right, it won’t make any difference to you when it happens, right?

Since this is essentially what Jesus actually said, you can see how it might confuse them.

I think when the Wingnut Bible Edit is over, the gospels will consist entirely of:

1. Jesus said, “No one can come to the Father except through me.”
2. Then those dirty Jews killed him.
3. Then he rose again. As far as we know, he never spoke except that one time.
4. The End.

A schlong so huge people scatter in all directions speaking different languages.

Puts that snake-handling, tongue-speaking thing in a new light, don’t it? …they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them…

God will possess His land by the rule of the Son Christ. God will squash the Islamic attacks, not because Israel deserves preserving due to its allegiance to the Messiah Christ but because God loves His land.

You damn kids get off My lawn!

Do. Not. Fuck. With God’s lawn.

1. Jesus said, “No one can come to the Father except through me.”
2. Then those dirty Jews killed him.
3. Then he rose again. As far as we know, he never spoke except that one time.
4. The End.

Don’t forget: “Wimins don’t speak in mah house (church), ’cause they are made from man, not god. Also, best not come in here without yo hat. ‘Cause a wimins without a hat in GODS HOUSE is all shameful and stuff.”

The Jesus went forth and laid the righteous pimp hand upon the the moneychangers asked for donations.

You don’t have to tell us twice. We wish he’d stop making us trim the Heavenly Hedges into spirals and junk. And then he has his friends setting shit on fire. WTF?

Think boats. Boats.

RV and boat storage?

Oops. ANON WAS ME. (for the last two posts)

Not used to this machine. My comp crashed, so I typing on a strange machine with a giant IBM beyboard from the age of hair bands. Forgive.

but because God loves His land.

And another thing- cant He MAKE a new land? A better land? I mean that IS under His job discription.

And another thing- cant He MAKE a new land? A better land? I mean that IS under His job discription.

Yeah, I always wondered about that. No offence to any Israelies here, but real-estate wise, ‘The Promised Land’ is kind of a shithole.

What I don’t get is, why do (some) Israelis welcome the support of people like this? They must think any support is good support. One day they’ll learn that it’s not good to count on an alliance with people who think you’re destined to languish in eternal torment.

If God really loved us, we’d still be able to get Ratner’s onion rolls.

I’m not kidding in the least.

No offence to any Israelies here, but real-estate wise, ‘The Promised Land’ is kind of a shithole.

“It took Moses 40 years to lead his people to the only place in the Middle East with no oil.”

—Golda Meir

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

I’m having a fit because Malkin won’t visit my abbatoir.

“but real-estate wise, ‘The Promised Land’ is kind of a shithole”

And, I suppose, in wingtardland, the post WWII “Exodus” was the only thing the UN has ever done right.

Here’s gainfully-unemployed Sarah Palin’s 2nd post on the official new GeeOhPee dot com 2.0 website forum.

Whoa – that Snowe-Board (heh) is already up to a whopping 47 comments! In a week or so it could hit 200!

Presumed massive deletion-fever notwithstanding, Steele’s first post has fewer comments than this post has. In other words, Steele is Steele … Swank is Swank … Swank tops Steele.

JINDAL IZ DA BOMB YO YO YOOOOOOOO!

OBAMA LOL!

LIBZ R GOING 2 BE SO PWNED IN 2012!!!1!!1!

When Malkin DOESN’T pitch a fit over something the Obamas do or don’t do, it will be news.

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

It’s criminalizing dissent to not visit South Carolina!

I’m having a fit because Malkin won’t visit my abbatoir.

I’m working on a Malinizer attachment for my Wingnut Processor.

Not to give it away, but it involves ping pong balls.

Oh, I am SO going to hell for that one. If there was a hell, I mean.

A Malkinizer attachment, also.

A perfectly serviceable minor joke marred by a typo. Abashed zombie is abashed.

It’s criminalizing dissent to not visit South Carolina!

If things had gone differently MM’s alternate headline was “Pushy First ‘Lady’ Forces Her Way Into Where She’s Not Wanted”

From Malkin:

“First, the White House goes to war with Fox News.

Now, if Democrat Rep. James Clyburn is to be believed, it looks like the First Lady is spoiling for a tiff with the state of South Carolina.

Is there anyone Team Obama isn’t willing to alienate these days?”

Yeah, because other than Fox News and South Carolina, there just isn’t much else in the world.

No offence to any Israelies here, but real-estate wise, ‘The Promised Land’ is kind of a shithole.

Hey now! Manna, you know? it has to fall SOMEWHERE and anyplace else would get all sticky.

No offence to any Israelies here, but real-estate wise, ‘The Promised Land’ is kind of a shithole.

To be fair, the parts over which there is still a lot of, shall we say, disagreements, are pretty nice.

Although how Moses and co enjoyed it pre-aircon, fuck knows, probably it was an improvement on Egypt and maybe he was just grateful God directed him eastward rather than further into the Sahara.

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

What’s the deal? Not gonna go over there, Nope, can’t do it.

Quick question. Does that mean really big dildos, or millions of dildos?

I was picturing one really big one. Is that wrong?

Okay, which one of you guys did this?

Is that Jeff Gannon in his “reporter” outfit?

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

Why should the First Lady visit a state when no-one can be sure where the Governor’s going to be?

What’s the deal? Not gonna go over there, Nope, can’t do it.

MO won’t visit SC because some racist dick would probably take a shot at her, and MM and all the racist dicks in her comment section are pissed about it.

Although how Moses and co enjoyed it pre-aircon, fuck knows, probably it was an improvement on Egypt and maybe he was just grateful God directed him eastward rather than further into the Sahara.

Poor Moses croaked on the threshold, as it were. After M. walloped the stone to get water rather than just tap it, God told M. he wouldn’t be allowed into the Promised Land. Big Dude can hold a grudge.

Also. Carl Spackler remains the most popular photo on teh NOT a website.

U.S. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn said Friday that a conversation with White House staff left him with the sense that a hostile environment in South Carolina is keeping the first lady from visiting.

Ok, so the latest Malkin freak-out is premised on the vague “sense” that was “left with” someone not connected to Michelle Obama or the Obama White House, rather than any kind of, you know, direct evidence or statement.

That doesn’t even get into the fact that, because she’s not an elected official, Michelle Obama has no duty to go anywhere she doesn’t want to go, for whatever damn reason she chooses, and she doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone in the public or media about why she goes some places and not others, either.

That doesn’t even get into the fact that, because she’s not an elected official, Michelle Obama has no duty to go anywhere she doesn’t want to go, for whatever damn reason she chooses, and she doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone in the public or media about why she goes some places and not others, either.

On the other hand, by December 2001, Laura Bush had serviced all fifty states, every military base around the world and several bordellos in Katmandu.

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

Man, I grew up in rural Mississippi and live in North Georgia, and I wouldn’t go to South Carolina unless you paid me. Those bastards are crazy.

“U.S. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn said Friday that a conversation with White House staff left him with the sense that a hostile environment in South Carolina is keeping the first lady from visiting.”

Butthurt level: Massive.

I think Michelle Obama should announce she is unable to visit SC because she will be hiking the Appalachian Trail.

anony wuz me.

Matt T. is right. That lunatic asylum is right across the river from us…

How dare she not visit a place where people wish her harm! Who does she think she is?

Ah, Sou’ Ca’Lina. “Too small for a republic, too large for an insane asylum.”–James Pettigru, 1860

That particualr land has been known as the home of the shithouse rat insane for almost 150 years. Why on Earth would Michelle Obama–or any other sentient mammal–ever want to visit such a place?

Malkin is having a fit because Michelle Obama won’t visit South Carolina.

We hate her. On top of that, bitch won’t pay us a visit!

if you all would like another pure gleaming nugget of wingnut genius to admire, over at Balloon Juice the following response was posted by mistah kurtz, with respect to a reader stating that the NPP cannot be awarded posthumously:

Howard Kurtz: I take your point about no posthumous awards, though by that standard Martin Luther King couldn’t have won after being assassinated (yes, I know he won the prize earlier). My reading of the piece was that Neda was being used more as a symbol (though the rule should have been mentioned). But it’s an editorial. It is by definition opinion. Of course some readers are going to disagree.

I’ve been watching that thread, too–hilarious! Here’s a nice one from Warren Terra:

Just to cross memes:
“Assassinated Martin Luther King Jr, you’re great and I’mma let you finish, but Mohandas Gandhi is the best assassinated hypothetical Peace Prize winner of all time! Of all time!” </blockquote

(yes, I know he won the prize earlier).

that was a big WUUUUT? right there, for me.

Do our overlords at Sadly No! headquarters have the ability to set up a poll where everyone can vote like they do at Kos?

TOP TWENTY RAP NAMES FOR MICHAEL STEELE

Token Loc *
King Ad-Hoc *
Kanye Deep South Only *
No Method Man *
Galt ‘n Peppa.
The Vainglorious P.I.G.
Mos Tone Def
Iced Tea Suh
Filibusta Rhymes
Notorious B.I.G.W.A.N.K.E.R. *
Ice T-Bag
Vanilla Ice (heh)
Ol’ Dirty Golfing Partner
Run Dumb M. Steele *
Chucka Conjob *
TuPAC
Flat Tax Slim
Birfer Rhymes
K-StreetRS-One
MC G.O.P. Pants

D. Aristophanes said,
C’mon gocart – Token Loc is great, but Rhythm Method Man beats No Method Man hands down …

As self appointed chronicler of MC Steele’s putative rap names . . . we have the following additions. Now with comments!

Robert Van Winkle. (funny, Vanilla Ice’s real name. Some rapper should call himself MC Michael Steele.)

Business Markie (That’s good, I’m surprised I didn’t think of it.)

Disposable Zero of Hypocrisy (Does anyone other than kiki and me remember “The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy”?
I saw them live at Toad’s Place in New Haven in the
early nineties. They opened for Billy Bragg.)

Analog Overground (I like)

Rhythm Method Man (better than the obvious “No Method Man”? Surely
you jest. You forget that the judge is biased. Get
Oirley Taits on the case. Actually, I didn’t get it at first.
It’s an anti-contraception reference and yes, it is
funnier.)

I think word press will fuck this up. We’ll see.

I’m thinkin’ Mos Tone Def. Most apt.

Someone we likely know is in trouble. Gary, maybe?

Someone we likely know is in trouble. Gary, maybe?

Seems more R B Glennie’s style.

Howard Kurtz: I take your point about no posthumous awards, though by that standard Martin Luther King couldn’t have won after being assassinated (yes, I know he won the prize earlier)…

What the fuck is this motherfucker’s fucking point? I’m not the brightest bulb and I’m drugged up on cold medicine, but I would think that a WP opinion writer would have something sort of resembling an argument that even the slightly drugged and/or stupid could muddle through after a few reads.

[throws a brick at Krazy Kurtz]

Can the GOP parrots please put a moratorium on the use of the word “thug”? Thanks. Like all the other semantical bleaching they’ve done, “thug” is now becoming meaningless due to overuse.

Oh man, do I feel old now. Captain Lou Albano died this afternoon.

Michael Steele:

Token Black Guy.

Disposable Zero of Hypocrisy (Does anyone other than kiki and me remember “The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy”?

I do, I do! They did the music/remixing/production on Wm. Burrough’s Spare Ass Annie mashup from around the same time. Michael Franti has done pretty well for himself, so its not like they dropped off the face of the Earth.

I’m partial to Kanye Wack, myself. Just sayin’.

laym said,

Michael Steele:
“Token Black Guy”

Token Loc! Get with the program 😉

I have to say, I think Token Loc is my favorite.

I’m drugged up on cold medicine

you are now officially light years smarter than this guy, instead of hundreds of light years smarter.

A Brief Note Regarding Dispensationalism (I.E.. The “Church Age” ) and The Bible

You can’t find it anywhere in there. Because Fundementards made it up around 1830.

Thanks you for your time and kind attention.

I have to say, I think Token Loc is my favorite.

they are all full of win, and I can’t decide. kinda like galt & pepa, also ice t-bag. because it sounds like cobag.

Also. Carl Spackler remains the most popular photo on teh NOT a website.

I like the pic of Larry Craig, posted by Peter Gozinya.

Also, if you want to underline something, you apparently must tag it with [underline] and not just [u].

Like this:

FYWP

Or perhaps that doesn’t even work.

I’ve been trying to come up with a riff on Diggable Planet, but the only one that pops into my head is Dirigible Wingnut

What the fuck is this motherfucker’s fucking point?

Imagine an alternative universe where MLK Jnr had not been awarded a NPP prior to his assassination, and the Nobel committee would be all “Damn, we missed our chance; we wish we could en-Nobel him posthumously; we look pretty silly now”, and they’d be changing the rules.
Therefore, the NPP criteria in this universe are simply not relevant to our assertion that a more suitable example of someone working for peace would be an innocent victim of state violence in Iran.

Underlined

the pointy brackets show up in preview, let’s see if this posts.

Nope

Does anyone other than kiki and me remember “The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy”?

I do! They were the ass-sucking version of The Beatnigs. I dunno how many times Franti recycled “Television” but it was at least two too many.

God tops demons

Name: God
Age: Ageless
Build: Bearish
Hair: Fiery
Eyes: All-Seeing
Position: Power Bottom
PNP: Ask
Availability: Weekends

Aha! Wrong again, Pastor swank!

I take your point about my previous point failing to have a fucking point. That is central to my point.

Disposable Zero of Hypocrisy (Does anyone other than kiki and me remember “The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy”?

I do, I do! They did the music/remixing/production on Wm. Burrough’s Spare Ass Annie mashup from around the same time. Michael Franti has done pretty well for himself, so its not like they dropped off the face of the Earth.

As I said, I saw them in ’90 or ’91. I thought they were good, I bought their cassette tape, after a few listens, I was bored. They were not as subtle with their politics as Billy Bragg. Good for them if they are making a living doing other things.

you are now officially light years smarter than this guy, instead of hundreds of light years smarter.

Dammit, why didn’t I try out for America’s Next Top Pundit???

thug” is now becoming meaningless due to overuse.

Well, to certain people, it has dark overtones. Just sayin’.

And when said, dogs go kinda crazee.

Smut Clyde said,

October 14, 2009 at 21:19

Ah, so I was understanding the argument, but just had trouble believing that I understood the argument because it was so mindblowingly stupid and I naively assume that even people who work at WaPo aren’t that dumb.

I think a good way to describe the way your wingnuttier fundamentalist Christian perceives the Jews would be to say that they are the canaries in the coalmine of Armegeddon

Canon fodder

he said it’s “a beta site.”

Looks to me like a sub-epsilon site.

FYI, the underline tag does not work in this particular instantiation of WP. Nor does the blink tag, alas.

Steerpike said,

October 14, 2009 at 20:37

Ah, Sou’ Ca’Lina. “Too small for a republic, too large for an insane asylum.”–James Pettigru, 1860

That particualr land has been known as the home of the shithouse rat insane for almost 150 years. Why on Earth would Michelle Obama–or any other sentient mammal–ever want to visit such a place?

Right now I’d love to visit it the same way Uncle Billy visited it in 1864. If you know what I mean—and I think you do. As an example.

Token Loc *
King Ad-Hoc *
Kanye Deep South Only *
No Method Man *
Galt ‘n Peppa.
The Vainglorious P.I.G.
Mos Tone Def
Iced Tea Suh
Filibusta Rhymes
Notorious B.I.G.W.A.N.K.E.R. *
Ice T-Bag
Vanilla Ice (heh)
Ol’ Dirty Golfing Partner
Run Dumb M. Steele *
Chucka Conjob *
TuPAC
Flat Tax Slim
Birfer Rhymes
K-StreetRS-One
MC G.O.P. Pants

I think that Jonah Goldberg thinks that the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is an actual superhero supply store, because I can’t imagine he’d want to help dirty hippie Dave Eggers teach his craft to unsuspecting children. This amuses me.

WTF?

I was going to say the aforementioned MC Steele needed more snarking now that he has called himself the cow on the tracks who is going to stop the health care train.

WP c.g.f.i.

think that Jonah Goldberg thinks that the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is an actual superhero supply store

I think we ought to chip in and buy him the lamé cape. As well as the lame one.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

Florida is the Wang. So that makes Texass…

Hmm, yer onto something here, but I’m not sure it’s entirely accurate.

Florida’s the wang.
Mississippi and Alabama are the taint.
The Mississippi River Delta, much as it pains me to say it, is the hemorrhoidal (why else has the Louisiana coastline advanced over the millennia?) anus.
And Texass is the great, flabby, bloated, sagging BUTTOCKS.

“think that Jonah Goldberg thinks that the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is an actual superhero supply store”

“CODE CLEARANCE REQUIRED FOR SECURE TRANSACTION”

Shall we speculate as to what Jonah’s double secret code might be?

I am liking the photo of Larry Craig, posted by “Peter Gozinya” on the not-web site.

Howard Kurtz said,
October 14, 2009 at 21:21
“I take your point about my previous point failing to have a fucking point. That is central to my point.”

I can’t decide whether this is the real Howard Kurtz or a spoof.

What’s so funny about “Peter Gozinya?”

And a big poo to the Smiling Mortician. Just because you wake up hours before I do & post earlier does not make you a better human being.

I think we ought to chip in and buy him the lamé cape. As well as the lame one.

His superpower is actually to make any cape lame simply by wearing it.

I wonder what size leotard he wears?

OT, but wingnuts loved me when I was going down to 6,500 and said I was the main barometer of Obama’s economic performance. Now I’m 10,000 and they don’t talk much about me these days. Why the cold shoulder, wingnuts?

A Brief Note Regarding Dispensationalism (I.E.. The “Church Age” ) and The Bible
You can’t find it anywhere in there. Because Fundementards made it up around 1830

So much for that “Old Time Religion”.

think that Jonah Goldberg thinks that the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is an actual superhero supply store

“Do you have that utility belt in XXXL?”

I wonder what size leotard he wears?

So big they named it a Leonardtard.

“Do you have that utility belt in XXXL?”

“And can you stencil ‘Wide Load’ on the back of it?”

“think that Jonah Goldberg thinks that the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company is an actual superhero supply store”

Hey! It says here that these glasses will let me see through walls, but I can’t even see through your blouse. Oh, never mind.

“CODE CLEARANCE REQUIRED FOR SECURE TRANSACTION”

Shall we speculate as to what Jonah’s double secret code might be?

“5 Dollar Footlong”

“5 Dollar Footlong”

Only in his dreams.

If there’s a vote for who’s hosting “What Up”…

Let’s not forget Shackleford’s classic:

Master of Ceremonies, Michael Steel, Hip-hop Fan and Participant

Something like that anyway, something way full of win.

Shall we speculate as to what Jonah’s double secret code might be?

Needs to be short and easily remembered. How about:

ch33t0

“5 Dollar Footlong”

Only in his dreams.

There are evenings when I’m sipping my bourbon and making peace with the world before I turn in that my thoughts fleetingly move to Jonah, and I wonder how badly I’ve hurt his feelings that day.

After all, deep inside that pathetic gross carcass of an obese hateful man is a loving skinny tender little elf struggling to get out.

And then I remember Jonah ate him for lunch and washed him down with a Cel-Ray soda and I stop deluding myself.

I wonder what size leotard he wears?
So big they named it a Leonardtard.

Leotarp

And then I remember Jonah ate him for lunch and washed him down with a Cel-Ray soda and I stop deluding myself.

No way Jonah’d be drinking a Dr Brown’s Cel-Ray soda, it’s too… uh… vegetably.

“I wonder what size leotard he wears?”

Ow! ow! ow! That brain bleach SMARTS.

No way Jonah’d be drinking a Dr Brown’s Cel-Ray soda, it’s too… uh… vegetably.

Choice of kosher delis everywhere, B^4 and we all know how he feels about those kosher delis: they’re father figures to him.

Ow! ow! ow! That brain bleach SMARTS.

Yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little when I typed that.

I think Goldberg would be kind of like a superhero version of Henchman 21 from The Venture Bros.

Abashed zombie is abashed.

Saw Zombieland last night. A lot of zombies were a-bashed.

Is Pastor Swank a real human being or a computer-generated parody hologram? We report, you decide.

I wonder what size leotard he wears?

Enter The Equivocator! Possibly the greatest force for good the world has known, although this is open to argument, especially since I haven’t Googled “Force for good” yet and the dog needs walking.

Choice of kosher delis everywhere, B^4 and we all know how he feels about those kosher delis: they’re father figures to him.

He can’t even remember if a particular place was a deli or a dairy place. I think that this elegiac piece about his father was ghost written by Bill Ayers.

[Jewish delis] remind me of my dad more than any other kind of commercial establishment.

This is disturbingly Freudian (for Freud in his “Totem und Taboo” phase, with parricide and cannibalism as the origins of religion).

This is disturbingly Freudian (for Freud in his “Totem und Taboo” phase, with parricide and cannibalism as the origins of religion).

It could have been worse, it could have been a Quick-Lube place.

It could have been worse, it could have been a Quick-Lube place.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

parricide and cannibalism as the origins of religion

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?

At least Mr Goldberg has more sense then to specify in print the kind of commercial establishment that reminds him of his mother.

parricide and cannibalism as the origins of religion

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?

I thought it meant “bomb the French”.

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?

There was a parrot in one of my high school classrooms, and that feathery little bastard would not shut up screeching and saying rude words the kids had taught him whenever the room got quiet – like during tests. The teacher who owned the parrot thought that was funny, so he kept it around. I was ready to strangle both of them by the end of the year.

That was a very unusual circumstance, though, so I would be surprised to find that more than three or four religions had ever been based on it.

I once showed a Jonah Goldberg column to a moron. He read it and said, “How did this idiot get a job?”

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?

Parrot au poivre makes for a most delicious repast.

There was a parrot in one of my high school classrooms, and that feathery little bastard would not shut up screeching and saying rude words the kids had taught him whenever the room got quiet – like during tests.

That sounds like the coolest class EVER.

I was ready to strangle both of them by the end of the year.

Just keep fucking that chicken….uh, never mind.

Hey B^4 – I’m going to be making another site visit to the north Bronx in the next few weeks. Is there any good time of day for you to catch a beer?

Hey B^4 – I’m going to be making another site visit to the north Bronx in the next few weeks. Is there any good time of day for you to catch a beer?

Name a time, and I’ll take steps to be available. Have you ever been to the Rambling House on Katonah Ave in Woodlawn?

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?
Clearly you have not seen The Bedsitting Room, in which one of the characters mutates into a parrot. And is then eaten by the other survivors.

I was ready to strangle both of them by the end of the year.

Just keep fucking that chicken….uh, never mind.

“Rawk, the safe word is ‘Polly’.
Rawk, the safe word is ‘Polly’.”

Name a time, and I’ll take steps to be available.

I’ll let you know when my client buys a calendar.

Have you ever been to the Rambling House on Katonah Ave in Woodlawn?

No. Do they sell fillet of John Gambling?

Do they sell fillet of John Gambling?

You can have one from column A, or one from column B or one from column R…

No. Do they sell fillet of John Gambling?

No, he was cooked on the bone, and served as a freebie during the Superbowl halftime. There were no takers.

My reading of the piece was that Neda was being used more as a symbol

But isn’t their whole beef that they think it’s wrong for Obama to get it because he hasn’t actually done anything for peace, that he’s getting it for who he is rather than what he’s done?

The Dow said,

OT, but wingnuts loved me when I was going down to 6,500 and said I was the main barometer of Obama’s economic performance. Now I’m 10,000 and they don’t talk much about me these days.

Oh, but they do.

But isn’t their whole beef that they think it’s wrong for Obama to get it because he hasn’t actually done anything for peace, that he’s getting it for who he is rather than what he’s done?

well, there you go again, expecting logic, consistency and other librul stuff like that.

I’ve got no problem with eating people, but why the fuck would anyone kill a parrot?

Haven’t you seen this video?

http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=3181#comments

Saw Zombieland last night. A lot of zombies were a-bashed.

Hate movie. Like Birth Of A Nation

Woody Harrelson is going to have his brains eaten. With relish.

Uhh, unless he’s sharing his stash. Then we’re watching MST3K.

Woody Harrelson is going to have his brains eaten. With relish.

Cheap store-bought relish ruins everything.

Try green tomato chow-chow. If it’s good on field peas it must be good on brains.

Haven’t you seen this video?
http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=3181#comments

Ah, the Kakapo, New Zealand’s giant skullfucking parrot.
That’s the way the negotiations worked out. Australia got all the venomous animals — the snakes, the trapdoor spiders, the scorpions, the platypus and the blue-ringed octopus — while we ended up with a lethal tree nettle and a flightless parrot with a penchant for brain-buggery.

They also beat us at cricket.

They also beat us at cricket.

Those are some talented fucking parrots.

We resigned ourselves to welcomed our giant craniophiliac psittacid overlords long ago.

Admit it, Skullfucking Parrots will be a pretty good thrash metal band name.

Better than Cannibal Corpse, at least.

They also beat us at cricket.

Those are some talented fucking parrots.

I dunno. Isn’t cricket the preferred sport of your standard upper-class twit?

And a big poo to the Smiling Mortician.

Excellent. I hate to go home without a door prize or a goody bag or something.

Also, can someone pop google earth or look at a globe and tell us where the asshole of the planet is? It seems to me it might just be in America

I don’t know about the whole planet, but if the US ever gets an enema, El Paso is where they’re going to plug it in.

The staggering thug clumsily reached towards the pommel of his dangling sword, but before his hands ever touched the oaken hilt a silvered flash was slicing the heavy air. The thews of the savages lashing right arm bulged from the glistening bronzed hide as his blade bit deeply into the soldiers neck, loping off the confused head of his senseless tormentor.

With a nauseating thud the severed oval toppled to the floor, as the segregated torso of Grignr’s bovine antagonist swayed, then collapsed in a pool of swirled crimson.

I think that “Pastor Swank” actually wrote The Eye of Argon.

This geography where God incarnate ministered publicly for three years has brought history full circle at the close of the Church Age. The tiny Israel piece is THE focal point when all is said and done.

…furnishing it agriculturally and urban-wise…

That’s what my Christian-fundie gay interior decorator advised me to do with my place. I fired his self-loathing ass on the spot.

Well, there’s a commenter here who can give Pope Swanky the First a run for his money in the too-crazy-to-poop category:

Olympia Snowe proves the imperative of bringing the gospal and capialism to her Greek people because her Greek Orthodox faith is the root harlot of communism.Palamite Zealotes massacred Thessalonian aristocracy in preparation for Cantacuzene usurpation which brought about hesychast hyperventilatory hallutination. This soviet socialism motivated Anatolian farmers to embrace Turks in the 1400s to avoid redistributative taxation and then for liberated mainlanders to migrate to Smyrna in the 1800s.

That’s some crazy shit right there, I’m tellin’ ya. The dude looks like a very hung-over Richard Belzer.

This soviet socialism motivated Anatolian farmers to embrace Turks in the 1400s to avoid redistributative taxation and then for liberated mainlanders to migrate to Smyrna in the 1800s.

So the October Revolution of 1918 actually began with Anatolia Farmer (whomever he is) in 1318, and not Karl Marx?

Since when does “beg the question” mean raise the question? Since never– that’s when. Shame on y’all.

Since when does “beg the question” mean raise the question? Since never– that’s when. Shame on y’all.

That’s problematic, Raij, so maybe you can come up with the solution?

Y’all? As in “you ALL?” Because it’s not like it went unmentioned by others.