Putting The URL In Doggerel
It’s quite possible that Russ J. Alan’s great-grandparents are “embarrassed” by how tragically un-hip he “is”:
In a twitter, all blogged up in the web
Ok, I’m on twitter now and each time I log on, I see I have a couple more “followers.” How are they finding me? I guess twitter is a “Social Networking Platform” so I click to follow my “followers”…Is it a status thing to have lotsa “followers”? So I thank ’em by “following” them? Once you have lotsa followers, how do you have time to read all their “tweets” and function as a normal human being, you know, work and everything? Maybe that’s it — what is a normal human being anymore when we all say stuff like “OMG I just twittered my blog! I hope my “followers” got my tweets!” You hear people in the coffee shop: “Yo! How’ve you been! Yeah been a long time…where’ve I been? Upstairs! Yeah man! See you on Facebook! Tweet you later!”
You can read the rest on your own, in the meantime let’s skip to:
© Russ J. Alan
Well, there goes our plan to hijack this one and call it our own …
BONUS: If Atrios wants a war, we’ll give him a war … with the DEVIL!!!!1!
Methinks Atrios want a youtube war.
Done, Dr. Squid.
Dear god what a vapid, shallow, empty shell of a man. He do great on twitter.
FYWP. “He’ll” of course. grrrrrrrr
Hey, Stryper’s Michael Sweet may be shallow and empty, but he’s hardly vapid.
You can’t be at war with Satan without Venom.
Well I, for one, am shocked that a right-winger would be woefully out of touch with the ways of the web. After all, GOP.com is working out so well!
RedState Trike Force transportation = vapid transit.
You kids with your hula hoops and gaaaaaaaaaaaah
Dang it. I clicked on the link.
Brain bleach is in order. *reaches for bong*
“Christians shouldn’t be allowed near Rock n’ Roll. It’s not for them.“
If you want to win a youtube war with Atrios, just find something with guillotines. The word alone gives him the vapors; actually seeing one would probably send him into a swoon.
Russ J. Alan is a creative little fucker. His blog reveals the shocking truth that the Monica Lewinsky scandal was deliberately created by the Democratic National Committee to distract the public from Clinton’s treasonous dealings with China. So far as I know, that’s a completely new whackaloon conspiracy theory.
Alan also mentions that Clinton and Gore planned 9/11, but unfortunately doesn’t offer any details.
Snorg, I believe what he is actually trying to push here is the idea that the Repugs should work hard to regain control of Congress so that they can push through all their own agenda, but leave Obama in the White House so they can blame him for the mess they make.
Wingnut motto: Ask not “what can I do for America”, but ” what can I do to America and who can I blame it on”.
You can read the rest on your own
Okay, I read the Whole Thing. This guy is just a couple of steps from Telepathic Ed territory.
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowl and wrote a column.
This just reinforces my belief that Twitter is for twits.
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a column.
Fixed!
“So I guess I’m just gonna become a full-time blogger, hope that I keep getting followers, maybe I’ll be discovered”
F’N loser!
Dear God, if he tweet his tits we’ll have to carve our eyes out with sporks.
Also, more people need to view this (via Wonkette) so they can be as disturbed by it as I am.
Don’t miss mark 0:55! Where else can you see a pornographic jizz soaked piggy bank get nailed by a bunch of $ signs?
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a
column,colon.Fixfixed.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow…
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowl and wrote a column.
No. No way can it be up to that level.
Arky’s link is a must-see.
It’s got it all. Dog whistles (“servant’s heart”), bizarre metaphors (Rat vs Ox? Another dog whistle?), inappropriate adjectives “only the ox has the grace to serve the people”, Ronald Reagnut even makes an appearence, along with digs at Hollywood, New York, Washington and even France.
Oh and the animation is at a high schooler’s level, or perhaps even a grade schooler.
That Winger song is pretty damn catchy, sad to say. Years after its time I still find myself humming it.
If I may be so bold, I suggest you proceed to the helicopter with alacrity.
The kids these days….with the hipping and the hopping and the bipping and the bopping, they don’t know what the jazz is all about.
Arky’s link is a must-see.
Yes, that video should get an Oscar for fail.
I’m pretty sure they made that Ox vs. Rat video using PowerPoint.
Old Grouch meets technology
But seriously, fuck Twitter.
Stryper… listening to their music is enough to turn Christians into Satanists. Look upon the bumblebee ye sinners and despair. Seriously ridiculous, check out this interview with the drummer.
Also, quoting Hank Hill: “You’re not making Christianity better; you’re just making rock and roll worse.”
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a colon.
I am interested in your recipes and would like to subscribe to your cookbook.
“Russ J. Alan is a political philosophist…”
Phi*los”o*phist\, n. [Cf. F. philosophiste.] A pretender in philosophy.