Ooooo! I wanna play! Can I be the thimble?

My guess is that they will never be a conservative who actually gets to the end of the game. Much like me and halfway through a porn story.

March 5, 2011 – The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’.

Uh, I thought that Manassas was in Prince William County… oh…

Why do all of their “jokes” involve mass murder?

As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.

I’ve been saying for years that the one thing missing from interactive online games was good old-fashioned sedition.

As an unfunny parody troll, I just came all over my monitor.

Jeebus.

They literally jerk off to this stuff.

When asked for his opinion on this monumental power shift in favor of liberty-minded Republicans during the November elections

Ooh, now I see some satirical content!

“Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against…”

Andrew Breitbart? Doughy, drunk, hobo looking Breitbart who spends all his time whining on the internet about how everybody is so mean to him? Is Jonah Goldberg going to be their version of Sgt. Fury?

“Why do all of their “jokes” involve mass murder?”

Funny how Conservative “humor” works.

They never get to the part where the zombiefied remains of the Soprano family attack from New Jersey, overtake the TAM and VCM and fuck Bill O’Reilly in the ass. They leave Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter tied up to starve though, ‘cuz even a zombie wouldn’t tap that.

You’d think Days-of-Future-Past Obama would drop the prefix “Ameri” if he decided America sucked so bad. Maybe they’re trying to resurrect the bullshit “CONDOMS IN KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!!1!!!!boner!!!” meme and they think that’s how “amorous” is spelled.

Manassas is squarely in Fairfax.

I’m guessing this is Parody, as the idea of Fox News anchors doing anything other then cry in their milti-million dollar bunkers, pissing theit pants, is laughable to such an extent I can’t believe that anyone would suggest it.

That and the premise reminds me of the Waxworld episode of Red Dwarf. Only not good.

I wonder what kind of a bounty I can get for a local DMV employee?

Once again, proof that these lunatics are unparodyable. (It’s a word now, damnit)

An interactive Turner Diary! Oh joy!

Has anyone else noticed that Glenn Beck’s photo on the cover of his new book makes him look an awful lot like Genesis P-Orridge from the Throbbing Gristle days? Does this mean that Beck, too, is headed towards transsexuality?

Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade…

Great. Now we’re going to have a whole generation of young wingnuts, shouting down their high school teachers, righteously demanding to know how Abe Lincoln survived J.W. Booth’s bullets to lead a brigade in Spain.

Meanwhile, Erick the Dim is going to be really, really mad his Red-Faced Trike Farce Cheetoh Guards aren’t even mentioned, esp. since they should be depicted triumphantly storming the Winter Palace capturing Usurper Barack Kenya Hussein Sotero Lenin Himmler Malcom Obama in his bunker vault, during the very act of burning his long-form birth certificate. (Erick’s personal abolishment of Obama’s royal guard town police force forms a brilliant epilogue, under the final credits.)

Holy shit! What a bunch of Melancholy Gimps.

Someday Obama will shackle us, we just know it.

CORNY? Yeah, I should say so.

How many drugs does one have to take to come up with this shit?

Once again, proof that these lunatics are unparodyable. (It’s a word now, damnit)

The scope of Poe’s Law needs to be broadened to encompass all of movement conservatism (maybe “Ruppert’s Corollary” could be attached to Poe’s Law).

I wonder what kind of a bounty I can get for a local DMV employee?

Well first you gotta remember that since the US Gov’t is Teh Enemy, bounties won’t be paid out in greenbacks, but the graphic on the main page does list the accepted forms of currency

Bribes. Babes. Beer. Word!

I’m almost afraid that Word! means hte Bible, since it is a wingnutty conservative freakapalooza.

The really sad thing is that more strategic thinking went into creating this game than went into planning for the occupation of post-invasion Iraq.

How many drugs does one have to take to come up with this shit?

Not enough.

But remember kiddies, the lynching in appalachia had nothing to do with this and conservatives are properly horrified and not at all ratcheting up on this shit in order to get some more crazies to snap and take a potshot at the president, oh no.

That’s it, I’m calling it, the conservative movement is officially a terrorist cell devoted to the downfall of America and the democratic process.

Well first you gotta remember that since the US Gov’t is Teh Enemy, bounties won’t be paid out in greenbacks, but the graphic on the main page does list the accepted forms of currency

The bounties are paid in dickgirl hentai comic books.

I’m almost afraid that Word! means hte Bible, since it is a wingnutty conservative freakapalooza.

It was inserted by Michael Steele, for keepin’ it real.

Well, goddammit BBBB, Now I’m torn between the two options.

Speaking of Ronaldus Magnus, the top two non-officer ranks in hte United States of Earth military forces are
E-7 Tribune
E-8 Reagan

I imagine that the patriotic forces massing together to fight Hte Usurpederer and his Unconstitutional Coup are supposed to be made up of squads of hte 101st Chairborne Keyboard Kommandos dressed up as Roman Legionnaires and led by clones of HTE GREAT COMMUNICATOR himself.

I wonder if this guy gets to automatically jump to the top NCO rank?

Holy crap.

This can’t happen, even in their batshit crazy version of reality.

If 21 million heathens die in Arab-Israeli Nukefest 2011, there’ll barely be anyone left in the neighborhood for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns.

I’m sure if they thought about it they wouldn’t want to bore Jeebus like that.

The really sad thing is that more strategic thinking went into creating this game than went into planning for the occupation of post-invasion Iraq.

If you look at their Game Map for the World, there’s a country that’s mysteriously missing. Hint: it’s Iraq.

No wait, there’s at least one more that doesn’t show up. Wow, the US of Earth has finally managed to do what they keep saying Ahmadinejad wants done – they’ve wiped Israel off the face of the World!

I pity poor Perfesser Harlan. There he is languishing near hte bottom of hte blogroll with only one vote, and it’s probably Helen’s.

Good news for Doughbob and friends, the children of the Corner don’t even make hte list.

When do we get to the part where Malkin is impregnated with Dick Cheney’s superbaby?

That’s the logical ending.

he stole this plot from the comic series “give me liberty” with the whole “martha washington goes to war” settings in neo-civil war america, even the whole I.S.U.E-as-BigBoyBurgers. good comic to check out if you never have.

I wonder if this game is spyware laden, like that “Left Behind” video game.

If 21 million heathens die in Arab-Israeli Nukefest 2011, there’ll barely be anyone left in the neighborhood for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns.

Gamma World mutant Jesus has 1d4 physical mutations.

I think I’d totally go to services at a Church of Gamma Jesus.

Is Ameritroops code for Americorps? Am I reading that right?

for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns
Not only does he have a mouth-sword, but he can do the cast-fireball spell. Cool or what?

Ohhhhhh so that’s where I left my copy of the secret works of Nostradamus. I must have left it at the last John Birch Society meeting, or possibly it was the Michigan Militia down home BBQ and Bill of Rights burning party… I attend so many, it’s hard to keep track.

Seriously though, I think that the forces of the evil Communisocialfacist dictator OBAMANATOR bin Muhammed (his true name, however this is not revealed until you beat his first form, Barrak HUSSEIN Obama) would be much tougher to defeat than is portrayed. For one thing, they’d probably all have access to quality health care, meaning they could get back to forcing all women to have abortions and killing all real Americans (read: anyone who thinks that banning automatic weapons and armor piercing bullets, is a communist plot… which, of course, it is). Those good, honest, apple pie loving americans fighting against the evil forces of the Islamic Warrior Guard would likely die quickly from wounds because their insurers would drop their coverage because they work in a high risk environment. At least if the crusades taught us anything, it’s that killing people is bad, but killing muslims is the fast track to heaven… I’m just waiting for the expansion pack where Obama, in an act of desperation, activates the Obamamatrix. It is a terrible and awe-inspiring device that, once activated, provides healthcare, better education, and suggestions on healthier diet to all the cursed people (trolls) unable to scramble back to their caves! Having used his clever “diplomacy” to remove all the nuclear (read: nukuler) weapons from the world in the name of “peace”, there is no one left to stand up to his tyrrany!

I played the game, but couldn’t get past Dennis Kucinich, who’s the (SPOILER ALERT!!!) level boss on the “Battle of Cleveland” board. The problem is, whenever I seem to score a critical hit, this superhot redhead comes out and creates a distraction.

Check out the ‘breaking news’ section – Pam Atlas leads a militia, and Mossad is after Rahm Emanuel for ‘betraying’ Israel.

Wow. The thing is a giant monster of convoluted retardedness. Every page on that site is brimming full of garbage. You’d think that some crazy-ass ponzi scam (become a Made Playa for $10/month and convince 99 of your other friend to as well, and we’ll start paying you back maybe as much as $75!!one11!!) would be all fly-by-night-ish, but there’s tons (okay maybe not tons, but more than expected) of “content” (even if a lot of is just stolen from MALKINSMASH).

Mossad is after Rahm Emanuel for ‘betraying’ Israel.

Didn’t he cut off part of his finger to prove his loyalty?

Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country any more than Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Indonesia, or Antarctica (though, I do hear that Osama bin Laden is there, protected by a cadre of radical Muslim penguins, ready to use their cuteness to infiltrate our zoos and attack ‘merica… of course, this is what Obama does not want us to know). Iranians are Persian and speak Farsi, which sadly is not just another word for Arabic. Though, I highly doubt that the creators spent the .24 seconds (according to google) it takes to look this up.

This is sure to be a boon for the kleenex and liquid soap industries!

My character is a third-level chaotic evil Birther with the Tolkeinesque moniker “Orly Taitz.”

Unfortunately, she may lose a few hit points ($20,000 worth) in her recent battle with Judge Land. Damn these polyhedral dice!

Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country any more than Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Indonesia, or Antarctica

Oh, there you go with your facts again.

Typical liberal!

Tolkeinesque moniker “Orly Taitz.”

Orcly Taitz.

Fixed for great justice.

When do we get to the part where Malkin is impregnated with Dick Cheney’s superbaby?

That’s the logical ending.

No the logical ending is Cheney becoming a being of pure energy, destroying the Obama Super Reflex MegaCarrier with the power of his transformation.

Let me guess, in this game Rush Limboo is not allowed to buy into an NFL football team.

See, it was profit-sized !!!!

I donno if that’s Fireball. It might be Force Missiles as an empowered 15th level caster, or Chain Missiles as an 11th. But since he’s gotta have Tenser’s Transformation to use that Mouth Sword, I’d wager it’s an Empowered Force Missile cast.

“children of the Corner”

my oh my

No the logical ending is Cheney becoming a being of pure energy, destroying the Obama Super Reflex MegaCarrier with the power of his transformation.

I don’t know, I always pictured Cheney as going through more of a “keep adding robotic parts until he’s unstoppable” sort of transformation… like he finally was able to merge with Reagan’s mythical top-secret star wars program, which allowed him to use space based lasers to weaken the Super Reflex MegaCarrier, and before millions of tentacles shoot out of his body and engulf said MegaCarrier… or he’d just invite Obama to go hunting…

We should totally crash this game. DFH Brigade, move out!

Holy. Festering. Fuck. On. A. Stick.

I’m truly gobsmacked. This is amazing.

I love this bit,

Note: Your mission is to control as many counties in Virginia as possible. Enemy forces are in most counties so do not hesitate to attack any player not under your control as anarchy reigns in Virginia until Obama and his loyalists are defeated and game ends after 40 minutes

Full-on eat-your-own, kill em all, mindset. I suppose it’s good that these morons can’t be in the same room for five minutes without needing to kill each other. Means we don’t have to worry quite as much about them organizing any truly coherent front. Fuck, they’re crazy.

This is proof positive that there is no such thing as Peak-Wingnut. Everybody who thought that this or that was evidence of P-W is now proven wrong. All that can be inferred is that there will be, as soon as this becomes an official datapoint, something even more ridiculous to take its place. It will simply continue to concentrate and become more toxic and caustic as it implodes, a veritable neutron star of stupid.

Layer upon layer of madness. It is, indeed, awesome.

I intended to add my little bit of snark here, but how do you snark this? It’s unsnarkable! It’s like sedition fanfiction. It’s like Rick Perry’s wet dreams. It’s like a perfect, stupid diamond. It is glorious.

Check out the ‘breaking news’ section
Yes, please do. Obama apparently wins four more Nobel Prizes, including ones in Biology and Science!

FFS, if you wanted to make a joke about how “in the tank” the Nobel Committee is for Obama, you could have had them invent a new Nobel Prize in “Having Big Ears” or “Hiding Your Kenyan Background”.

DKW,

The Ponzi aspect made me chuckle some, too.

Made Members can be assured that the U.S. of E will put nearly all profit towards spreading the word of what is going on in America…

Really. Trust us. It’s not at all going for meth and crackwhores. Really!

T.A.I.N.T.

Troglodytes Asshats Idiots & Nutjobs Together.

I’d certainly rather be C.O.R.N.Y. than a T.A.I.N.T.

linux is communism!

More broken news:

The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff…

This is not the treason you’re looking for <handwave>

…now that the Democratic Party has been outlawed for over 100 years of treason against the United States. Ann Coulter’s book “Treason” has also been made required reading in all high schools and is quite telling in this respect.

You know what’s quite telling? Your stoopit ass Projection issues. I’m a bit sleep-deprived right now, so I’m going to wade into this batshit fucking loonybins alt future described here.

Obama instigates a “coup” in order to stifle dissent and democracy. He also begins implementing all sorts of propagandalicious brainwashing by rounding up and assassinating big name conservative media folks with his super-evil FCC-stapo. The trigger is when Obama “comes to take your guns away”.

The Second Revolution begins and makes things all better by banning the Democratic Party and instituting mandatory reading of Ann Coulter in schools. I suspect that the Victory Condition for the Scenario is when you manage to kill or disarm all the members of the Enemy Forces (including UN Peacekeepers!).

Hey wingnut fucktards, the fictional cassus belli you give to justify your fictional Second American Revolution are the exact same things you want to enact after taking power.

Cant say these losers dont have very active imaginations, just not very original.
If these fools want to fight in a war so badley they really need to get off the couch and enlist, you only need to join the infantry for two years after all.
The rest of this is just pathetic.

“Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country”

True, that. Should have said Islamo-Israeli Nukefest 2011.

Also. Why aren’t the casualties of Riyadh, Mecca, Cairo and Islamabad not included in the tally?

That’s about 10-15 million more Mooooooooooooooooooslems reduced to radioactive ash.

I’d think they’d be pretty happy about that, bringing the total if Israel’s wrath to a cool 30+ million.

Not bad for a “slip of land the size of New Jersey.”

On teh other hand, if “God has a liking for the small place and the little people,” then why did he let the Perslaminofascisista incinerate 4 million of them?

My brain hurts. I need the Gumby Brain Specialist…

There’s something rather pathetic about the setting of the game, the backstory. The 2nd Civil War hasn’t just begun, not is it in the balance or anything. The Right has won. It’s like the people behind the game were scared of the idea of losing (or consider it completely and utterly impossible, given that America is God’s country, except for sometimes when it’s a Satanic land where Christians are a persecuted minority… but I digress). There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains. What’s the point?

There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains. What’s the point?
That is the point. Flag Waving and Patriotic Dissent, just for the sake of it. It’s like Security Theatre, but all Confederacy-style instead. The purpose is to get to wun around shooting Islamacists while shouting WOLVERINES!!!11!!USA#111!!!

Look at the crowning moment in these idiots’ history books – the Teabagger March on Warshingtown. What were they protesting? Obama. No actual reason (but apparently, definitely not because he’s a nigger) – just protesting Obama. No coherent message, no actual goals, nothing more than Obama Derangement Syndrome.

This is what I imagine the bullshit session leading up to this…idea…was like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T70-HTlKRXo&NR=1

Except all the words were “genocidy.”

“DisemBOWEL. HOLOcaust. ConflaGRAtion. Good, genocidy sorts of words.”

There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains.

(Well, something has to connect the players’ game characters to their actual lives, right?)

Even in their own self-created, self-contained virtual reality, wingnuts can’t bring themselves to serve in the first rank. They are all Rush Limbaugh, indeed.

Ann Coulter’s book “Treason” has also been made required reading in all high schools

Wha?!? Not Liberal Fascism? Where’s the love for DoughBoy?

There’s something rather pathetic about the setting of the game, the backstory. The 2nd Civil War hasn’t just begun, not is it in the balance or anything. The Right has won.

I like the undertone of intense pants wetting involved in the game’s setup as well. It was simply too frightening, I guess, to create a scenario where the dreaded liberal hydra had any chance of winning. Typical for your rightwinger, all the hard work has already been done by someone else (everyone knows real wingnuts don’t go to war, after all; they have other people do that for them while cheering from their Lazy Boys) and their forces are Super Awesome Invincibly Victorious because the idea of being the underdog is so deeply uncomfortable for them.

Perhaps for the ultimate rightwing experience, they should just dismiss the military campaign stuff altogether and base the whole game around torturing and executing prisoners in the aftermath. American wins!!!

Are we sure this isn’t some Wonkette ratfucking?

Some two-bit pop psychology here.

Note the fetishization of rightist media figures. Game Boy sees them leading their shock troops & all that, not unlike the guy who was the big Ann Coulter/Malkin fan who mailed white powder to various “left” media figures. (Same guy that killed the letter carrier & shot up the Jewish center? Who can remember. Wing-nut scorecard in other pants.

Or the guy who shot up the Unitarian Church in Tennessee, who was all “Kill all the liberals Bernard Goldberg lists in his book.”

We can only hope that the dilrod who came up w/ this scam is kept busy enough therew/ that he doesn’t get any other bright ideas.

As far as the mopping up aspect goes, this is their big Galtian fantasy, that after Armageddon (which they survive by hiding, of course) they come out of their caves/mother’s basements to find a world of easily slain “savages,” & buxom blond prisoners, so grateful for their freedom they will gladly enslave themselves to them, & on & on…

I’m sure most of those here had grown out of that sort of thing by our early to mid-twenties.

Ann Coulter’s book “Treason” has also been made required reading in all high schools…

A pointless edict when you take into consideration that voluntary illiteracy becomes the standard cultural practice in the new dawn of Wingnutopia.

Made Members

This made me ruefully chuckle. They’re all about their little macho fantasies, though they’d shit themselves if they actually had to confront any adversity.

The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff…

Oh, sorry to hear that your precious Axis of Dubya/Rumsfeld had to start that precedent of hiring mercenaries, while under-equipping American military personnel.

WOLVERINES, indeed.

March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured.

Henceforth America became a land flowing with Brawndo.

Full-on eat-your-own, kill em all, mindset. I suppose it’s good that these morons can’t be in the same room for five minutes without needing to kill each other. Means we don’t have to worry quite as much about them organizing any truly coherent front. Fuck, they’re crazy.

I am picturing a “Cadmus throwing a stone in the midst of the Dragon-Tooth Warriors” moment, in which a gathering of wingnuts are driven to shoot each other when a nearby car backfires.

This game will surely be a WoW-killer!

They tried to create a group to reference the threat of the evil ACORN; their take involved youth, and the best they could come up with is Corny?

When right there waiting to be used is Children of the Corn? I ask you.

Big Bad Bald Bastard:

I am picturing a “Cadmus throwing a stone in the midst of the Dragon-Tooth Warriors” moment, in which a gathering of wingnuts are driven to shoot each other when a nearby car backfires.

You can cause pretty much the same effect by tossing some Cheetos in their general direction.

I still prefer Duke Nukem Forever

You can cause pretty much the same effect by tossing some Cheetos in their general direction.

I would venture to say that an issue of Swank magazine would have a similar effect.

Submitted without comment.

Maybe this will collapse in on itself as soon as the players start worrying that it’s some sort of filthy liberal plot to gather names and addresses of potential revolutionaries.

Actually, it probably won’t. Because wingnuts are only half-assed paranoid: they only worry about the shit that doesn’t require them to do anything they don’t want to do. Fucking pikers. I’m hallucinating G Gordon Liddy in my goddamned crawlspace this week, and I think I gave myself asbestos poisoning climbing up there to inspect it. *That’s* dedication to a psychotic episode, you wimps!

lists posted by parrots

Since when does the right wing include birds famous for repeating words they don’t understand…oh.

an issue of Swank magazine

What? The Pastor has an equivalent of O magazine?

Sign me up now!

an issue of Swank magazine

What? The Pastor has an equivalent of O magazine?

Some of us have not eaten breakfast yet. Please refrain from mentioning “Swank” and getting to “O” in the same breath.

Some of us have not eaten breakfast yet

Just put an additional shot of vodka in the Bloody Mary, and deal with the Swankiness.

dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture.

I can see this not ending well.

Maybe this will collapse in on itself as soon as the players start worrying that it’s some sort of filthy liberal plot to gather names and addresses of potential revolutionaries.

Shhh!

WE’RE AS DUMB AS HELL, AND WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Maybe this will collapse in on itself as soon as the players start worrying that it’s some sort of filthy liberal plot to gather names and addresses of potential revolutionaries.

Shhh!

Just wait until the seizure-inducing stroboscopic effects kick in.

Ruh roh… shouldna oughta spilled the beans.

Please be making this shit up. That is all.

Doc, it’s worse than you think.

I want to know if I can sign up to play on the I.S.U.E. side. I know the game is rigged against them, but hey these would be wingnuts I’d be playing against. Also, while they are mucking about in Virginia they seem to have neglected the heartland. That’s right, they’ve forgotten all about the Chicago Royal Obama Nazi Islamofascists or C.R.O.N.I. forces who, after decimating the Red-Faced Trike Farce are now pushing through Atlanta on their march to the sea.

Don’t forget the Sacred Homosexual Insurgent Vanguard. They slaughtered millions of toilet trolling fRiechtards in a week.

I wonder how long it will be until the only people playing are members of the Secret Service?

And what the fuck is this “United States of Earth” shit? Since when was the rest of the world dragged into the wingnut asylum?

They need to market this better. Every web site I’ve gone to for the last six months has had an ad some woman with her breasts falling out of her shirt saying “Come play, my lord.” It’s some online game that’s apparently too lame to attract users without virtual prostitution.

I’m sure some hot Mandingo action could be worked into the game and used as a marketing tool.

Just imagine that I had included the other “with” in that sentence. It’s almost as good as if I had.

If I could play on the I.S.U.E. side I’m wondering what strategy would be best. With so mant damn smart Sadly!Naughts it would be silly not to seek advice. So what do you think…
Should I deploy my forces to wipe out all the Cheetos and Mountain Dew distribution centers in Virginia or should I just slip down to Virginia beach and go surfing for 39 turns while the wingnuts pick each other off. Come ashore on turn 40 and whack the last remaining wingnut in the back of the head with my long board.

Damn! I haye iy when yhe t and yhe y kets change places on me!

I’m sure some hot Mandingo action could be worked into the game and used as a marketing tool.

I think this is more of the “Malkin cheerleader” fetish crowd.

Not gonna link, no siree. Not… gonna… link…

I think this is more of the “Malkin cheerleader” fetish crowd.

Not gonna link, no siree. Not… gonna… link…

I’ve seen it. I assume that there is a correlation between her vile interior and her abysmal cheering, just as leprosy has been scientifically proven to indicate an unclean soul.

DEVELOPING….

MICKEY KAUS WANTED IN ALBANY, NY

More to come….

Unfortunately for Obama, Americans would not act like the sheep he had taken them for.

We’re talking about a group of people who spent hours yesterday watching an empty bag of hot air fly. Who are they kidding????

We’re talking about a group of people who spent hours yesterday watching an empty bag of hot air fly.

Limbaugh was in the balloon?

I’ll go, that was pathetic.

Limbaugh was in the balloon?

I’ll go, that was pathetic.

*trying hard to keep a straight face*

Yes. You *smirkle* should….*snort*

The Final Arab Israeli war cost a total of 4 million Israeli casualties when Iran nuked Tel Aviv in June of 2010.

In the “Final Arab Israeli war” between Israel and Iran, shouldn’t there be some actual Arabs involved?

dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture.

Round up all the Budget Analysts! Now!

I know I’ve blogwhored this before, but the idea sounds super-similar to the comic book “Liberality for All” where the revolution against the Evil Librul Conspiracy is led by Big Tuff Radio Guys.

I assume any military action involving conservatives would involve a lot of staying hidden and crying, punctuated by occasional surrendering to the enemy and ratting out your friends. Once the real fighting is over, they’d emerge from their holes and claim to have won the war singlehandedly, severely stained underpants notwithstanding.

Round up all the Budget Analysts! Now!

And Postmen.

Damn! I went to the link above at the first thing I saw was a comment by someone named “Obamasshole” –

“Can we get some graphics depicting us killing off the Presidents People?”

A response was:

“That really would be cool but I guess the site would get in trouble though.”

The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff…

just scratching my head in bemusement.

Apparently actual treason is now a virtue.

Just noticed this in comments:

Saul said,

As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.

The first computer game — a “cathode ray tube amusement device” — was patented in 1948. Assuming “coming of age” means at least 25 years old, that would make Saul at least 85 years old.

That’s not middle aged, you glomming geek.

Chagnasty said @ (the fighting) 8:08:
… Antarctica (though, I do hear that Osama bin Laden is there, protected by a cadre of radical Muslim penguins, ready to use their cuteness to infiltrate our zoos and attack ‘merica… of course, this is what Obama does not want us to know)

Yeah, well, you know who else is hiding in Antarctica? Nazi snow men, that’s who.

The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’. The rally was attacked by a few hundred Militia members led by Ted Nugent. The children were spared but all others were slaughtered.

So militia members attack a political photo opportunity and “slaughter” all the adult participants, and this is lauded as a good thing? I know this whole things is Teh Funny but I am just trying to get into the mind of someone who’d make up this particular scenario – is he familiar with what happened in Rwanda and during the Civil Wars in Sierra Leone? What next, they turn the captured children into child-soldiers?

As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.

That reminds me of an Amazon review Al Franken found for one of…was it Hannity’s books?

Anyway, the guy wrote: I never read books. This one I finished.

Over there on the main page, there’s a band of portraits across the page – starts with Karl Marx. Good to know they’re going to capture him, BTW, it’s about time. But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?

But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?

McCartney?

The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

I work with Marines on a daily basis. I wonder if the idiot who wrote this realizes that if he ever actually said this to a Marine, then he would find his head twisted off and used as a latrine

But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?

HINT: If you’re rad then he rules.

I’m trying to figure out the time-line here. It’s March 2011 and they’re in the mop-up stages of their overwhelming victory. The “coup” begins after the January swearing in of newly elected officials – so in two short months we’ve not only seen the rise of 8 lefty para-military forces (the “Cong” – love the name!) and also the ascendency of doughy white middle-aged radio pundits to the leadership ranks of militias?

Two months is hardly enough time for Breitbart to get into shape enough to march in a parade, much less lead a brigade.

Rush Limbaugh isn’t going to starve in the FEMA camp – he’s got enough blubber to live on for six months!

tommytimp said,

October 16, 2009 at 6:33

They never get to the part where the zombiefied remains of the Soprano family attack from New Jersey, overtake the TAM and VCM and fuck Bill O’Reilly in the ass. They leave Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter tied up to starve though, ‘cuz even a zombie wouldn’t tap that.
_____________________________________________________
O’Lielly gets buggered.
Mad Michelle and Skeletor don’t!

…makes sense in Wingnutland.

Remember when everybody was saying comedy was dead now that Obama’s been elected?

The WaPoo says it doesn’t write enough about the views of the right wing.

Here’s their chance.
~

This. is. FUCKING. AMAZING. It’s like a wingnutty online version of Risk. Holy shit. I may have to sign up for an account.

But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?

McCartney?

No,no, that is clearly Pete Best.

Do the people who come up with this kind of stuff assume that all the black guys in the military are going to be on their side? ‘Cause, y’know, I might not bet the ranch and the dog on that.

Wait, what about the most exciting part of the game? I’m guessing this is where Sarah Palin rides down from the north on a sled pulled by giant wolves with glowing red eyes. In one had she brandishes a whip (rawr) over the flanks of the sled-wolves; the other clutches a rocket launcher, a red-painted fingernail resting lightly on its trigger. Puffs of steam drift through the cold air from her labored breathing as her ample breasts strain against the skimpy polar-bear skin bikini top she wears, and twin ivory-handled .44 magnums are displayed in holsters strapped to her bare thighs, above knee-high spike-heeled boots…

Excuse me, I’ll be right back. Give me about 20 minutes…

There is a small problem with all of this on;y the officers in the US armed forces are Republican. the main force is for the most part Dems…. So the whole thing falls apart really . A bunch of rollie-pollie rednecks are going to do all this? LOL
The corporation would never allow it.

Do the people who come up with this kind of stuff assume that all the black guys in the military are going to be on their side?

This is their idea of being colorblind, I presume.

We should set up a liberal version of this game:

2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised

A semi-serious question. What’s with all the freaking out over a North American Union from these people? I mean, the U.S. has most of the population and most of the money, so it’s not like Canada and Mexico would exactly be the dominant partners in any such arrangement. Can’t these people even do basic math…

Oh. Never mind, carry on.

I keep seeing stuff about babes on the site. I don’t see any babes. Where are the babes???

DA,

You really should wait until I’ve swallowed my sip of coffee before posting shit like that.

I mean, the U.S. has most of the population and most of the money, so it’s not like Canada and Mexico would exactly be the dominant partners in any such arrangement.

Yeah, but who wants Quebecois and Mexicans as their countrymen? Gross!

Obama’s coup? Did the legally elected government overthrow itself and seize the power they already have?

Steerpike said,

October 16, 2009 at 15:35

That might be a more sought after graphic than the ones “depicting us killing off the Presidents People” although I’m guessing you could make huge profits of Obamasshole and all his or her wingnut friends if you were to come up with a graphic showing that version of the Iquitarod Queen killing off the President’s People.

Did the legally elected government overthrow itself and seize the power they already have?

Clearly frustrated by his inability to effect change in the healthcare industry, watching his bailouts fail left and right, and having 28% unemployment had forced Obama’s hand to roll out the troops.

Cuz, you know, a coup without the military always succeeds….

I’m guessing this is where Sarah Palin rides down from the north on a sled pulled by giant wolves with glowing red eyes. In one had she brandishes a whip (rawr) over the flanks of the sled-wolves; the other clutches a rocket launcher, a red-painted fingernail resting lightly on its trigger. Puffs of steam drift through the cold air from her labored breathing as her ample breasts strain against the skimpy polar-bear skin bikini top she wears, and twin ivory-handled .44 magnums are displayed in holsters strapped to her bare thighs, above knee-high spike-heeled boots…

I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…

t- I think the Republicans are supposed to sweep back into power in the 2010 elections, so Obama dissolves the Congress. Then, as they say, chaos ensues.

As Bill O’ would say, “Fuck it! Let’s do it live!”

2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised

Oh this could work…

V.P. Joe Biden Heckled Outside Arlington

March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was heckled today after attending a fundraiser in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Secret Service Agents and Local Police were peacefully approached by a group of unemployed tradesmen and elements from T.A.M. (Ted’s Awesome Mnemonicists) with some regular guy you never met, recently bankrupted by healthcare costs, leading the way.

I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…

These guys see the entire world as a Boris Vallejo poster, with themselves as the muscley barbarian.

The muscley malebarbarian. Most of them would fail miserably at being the muscley female barbarians.

Exactly what I had in mind, Actor, or else Frank Frazetta.

Is Ameritroops code for Americorps? Am I reading that right?

Sure is! When I was in Americorps I received extensive subliminal guerilla warfare training (my specialty was IEDs) and thorough communist indoctrination in addition to helping out poor folks.

I’m just waiting for the trigger word.

Ever notice how Boris’s muscley barbarians, both male and female, are often shown as highly skilled and successful warrior types that can kill all manor of dragons and hellbeasts, but they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?

The muscley malebarbarian. Most of them would fail miserably at being the muscley female barbarians.

They truly are just 13-year-old boys in beer-bellied grown-ass men’s bodies, aren’t they?

Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.

It doesn’t matter if Vallejo or Frazetta are drawing them — your average wingnut got his personality upload from Piers Anthony’s Xanth novels.

they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?

You know, all the times I’ve wanked to admired Vallejo’s work, that never occured to me.

I wonder why…

Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.

You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.

And I masturbate to choose your own adventure books all the time. I don’t see how this is any different.

I would rather masturbate.

That’s the interactive part.

You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.

Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?

but they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?

It’s a feature, not a bug.

They truly are just 13-year-old boys in beer-bellied grown-ass men’s bodies, aren’t they?

If you could use tine travel to show their 13-year-old selves what they will look like in 30 years, there’d be mass suicide.

And I masturbate to choose your own adventure books all the time.

Is it too much to hope for a newsletter?

I think the Republicans are supposed to sweep back into power in the 2010 elections, so Obama dissolves the Congress.

Riiiight. “Let’s come up with an utterly impossible scenario in which we overthrow a legitimate government while deploring THEIR coup!” Fucking moral relativists. Whiny-assed cowards.

You know, all the times I’ve wanked to admired Vallejo’s work, that never occured to me.

I wonder why…

I guess that’s why they call it fantasy art.

Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself.

Obviously you would have to interact with the computer, what are you a moran? (Also presumably you would interact with Paypal or somesuch.)

Are you allowed to play as the Obama loyalists? Because I would totally want to match “wits” with Major Malkin.

Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?

I’m pretty sure that’s what 90% of survivalism is about.

My dad had a survivalist period. Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.

And no, no newsletter, so don’t even ask.

You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.
Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?

For some reason, the phrase “72 virgins” springs to mind…

Even as outnumbered as the prObama forces are, you still don’t have the option of playing on their side. I think we all know what would happen if that were an option.

I guess that’s why they call it fantasy art.

Vampirella got me thru high school.

And no, no newsletter, so don’t even ask.

For some reason, a survivalist using his wife as a cow is less appealing than Vallejoisms.

Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.

I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or intrigued.

Obama has promised a new era of equality and peace.

Dem is fighting words!

Vampirella got me thru high school.

What, you cheated off her at test time?

What, you cheated off her at test time?

She fucked the gym teacher and then ate him.

Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.

I’m trying to come to grips with this concept. What does mom feed on and why can’t she just share that with the family?

I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or intrigued.

Grossed out. Trust.

I think the players are supposed to be goaded into ‘interactivity’ with real life by actually pulling some of the stunts in the game.

I’m trying to come to grips with this concept. What does mom feed on and why can’t she just share that with the family?

I’ve wondered that, myself. I don’t know, maybe he thought we’d get sick of canned food? All I know is that I hope his plans included a breast pump. *shudder*

New game starts tonight.

Larger Prizes and other scenarios coming soon, Including ‘Bush’s Ambush’

From the United States of Earth main page: “Bribes. Babes. Beer. Word!”

If you go to the bottom of the Obama coup game page (D. Aristophanes’ third link), you can see the user names of the top players. Full lists of Obama coup players here.

Full lists of Obama coup players here.

Not to panic, there’s still hope. After all, the Democratic Commie Bastards are in the top five in all categories. Go get ’em Democratic Commie Bastards!

And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.

http://www.youtube.com/user/USofE#p/a/u/1/muA_95eHGo8

Action-Packed!

Action-Packed!

When they release this for Wii, let me know.

And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.

Crouch down and hide behind the big guys! Wait, that includes me…

Action-Packed!

Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.

I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants. Lets cover a huge portion of the globe with an irradiated dust cloud and see how well that works out for us.

This is why I’m glad human beings used nuclear weapons while they were still weak enough to be recovered from. It’s clear that even now, people tend to view these weapons as being really big bombs. I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn’t seen some small demonstration of what the absolute weakest of these weapons could do. Still, people think you can fight a war with nuclear weapons.

Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.

The civil libertarian side of me would express some concern while my schadenfreude side could manage a chuckle or two (or three) at the expense of the Generalissimo Franco-wanabees.

I keep seeing stuff about babes on the site. I don’t see any babes. Where are the babes???

I expect you have to trade government employee ears for the babes.

Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.

I’d rather masturbate to Meghan McCain’s cleavage.

Aw crap. I clicked the link. Now I’m probably on some DHS list somewhere.

Still, people think you can fight a war with nuclear weapons.

…depending on the breaks.

Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.

Yeah, I’m actually a little worried that I’m on some sort of list just for looking at the damn thing now.

I see where Glenn Beck got Vaporub in his eyes again, just in time for the camera to close in on his tears.

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Default Can we get some graphics depicting us killing off the Presidents People?
That really would be cool but I guess the site would get in trouble though.
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#2
Old 10-05-2009, 12:34 AM
DeadCell DeadCell is offline
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Yeah, I’m sure the Obama Administration would jump at the chance to shut down anything critical of them.
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Action-Packed!

This channel’s full list of videos include 3 news anchor tests. Babes!

Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.

As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.

I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants.

They also haven’t figured out what it would do to the price of gas.

Link for above comments
http://www.usofearth.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=27

Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.

Now that the camps are built, we gotta find inmates guests somehow.

As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail

*putting down comic page*

What now?

I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants.

On the plus side, mutating those godawful sand spiders into giant size will finally give Godzilla a good workout.

This channel’s full list of videos include 3 news anchor tests. Babes!

That might be the worst description of those three women I’ve ever imagined.

An Agent of Acorn tries to shove socialist ideology! down your throat

> ask agent who is john galt

Socialist ideology! attack misses!

> lynch agent

Acorn Agent dodges lynch attack with fiat currency

> call fox news

Fox News summons angry redneck mob!

Acorn agent flees!
Acorn agent drops Election rigging manual.

You gain 22 wolverine points
There is an object here.
Directions available: (right, far right)

> _

Action-Packed!

Geeaaawwwddd, after listening to that idiot, I’m not worried at all. It turns out Interhamwe Online is pretty pathetically stupid.

Flip FTW!

I just had a sudden flashback to high school: I was walking down a lockered-walled hallway and I heard a voice somewhere between soprano and tenor call out “I have 16 strength points.”

It’s hot in my office but I can’t stop shivering.

The Tragically Flip said,

October 16, 2009 at 16:53 (kill)

“You have been eaten by a grue.”

Sounds like a non-stop, action-packed thrill-ride

Or maybe a non-start, fudge-packed, couch-ride

Heh. Still chuckling over “children of the Corner.”

I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…

That’s exactly what I was thinking as I read that.

The Borg has banned access to the poster, but I’m almost certain it’s the one I had on my office wall back in the 90’s (ahhh, I miss those days when the boss lived in another state and only came by a couple of times a year. I had a beautiful poster of Linsner’s Dawn on the wall, too).

Vampirella got me thru high school.

Right there with ya, pal.

Well played, Flip. That triggered my nostalgia circuits.

actor212 said,

October 16, 2009 at 16:56 (kill)

Flip FTW!

Megadildos, er, Megadittos. That was a thing of beauty, Flip.

DeadCell DeadCell is offline
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Yeah, I’m sure the Obama Administration would jump at the chance to shut down anything critical of them.

Self-unawareness, I haz it.

D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:41

“We should set up a liberal version of this game:
2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised.”

Ooh, can I be Max Baucus?

Ooh, can I be Max Baucus?

Hey now! You have to work your way up to mediocrity! Everyone starts out as a Blue Dog congressman!

Breitbart was las seen sipping a dry martini and giving the finger to a brigade of Obama Youth from the balcony of a posh resort hotel.

-G

As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.

Never! I prefer Prince Valiant.

Never! I prefer Prince Valiant.

Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?

Under Canadexico’s new universal healthcare regime, wingnuts will have affordable access to the medications they so obviously need.

March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was captured today after an incredible firefight in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Ameri-Troops and Islamic Warrior Guard were gunned down by the Virginia Citizens Militia and elements from T.A.M. (Texas Arizona Militia) with Sean Hannity, the former FOX broadcaster, leading the way.

March 5, 2011 – As former FOX broadcaster Sean Hannity leads the Virginia Citizens Malitia and elements of the T.A.M. back towards the FOX studios for a fair and balanced propaganda interview they are ambushed by the M.O.R.A.N (Miltia of Richmond and Norfolk) Led by former FOX broadcaster Alan Colmes and are wiped out in the famous battle now known as Colmes Comeback.

As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.

Sigh. The furries get a comic they can call their own, and still the hate continues.

Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?

You can never see his eyes. I don’t trust a man when you can’t see his eyes.

Also, Zork references FTW. Also.

Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?

You can never see his eyes. I don’t trust a man when you can’t see his eyes.

“His eyes! What have you done to his eyes?!”

“He has his father’s eyes.”

“Who was his father, Dean Martin?”

Is there anyone these people don’t hate? Including themselves?

This sounds a lot like the rapture game that came out a couple of years back, only more sad and pathetic.
I like how fat boy was already executed, probably tried to get out of fighting with his ass-boil again.
Hannety the mannitie as a leader in the revolution, that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.

I guess this is their way to develop a video game whose basic purpose is to shoot blacks and other non-whites. “Obama’s Coup” sells better than “SHOOT THE SP*CS” & N****RS!”

BREAKING NEWS!

The Cong Loses Control, Pelosi Captured!

March 7th, 2011 – Former Speaker of the House and War Criminal Nancy Pelosi was captured today. Militia leaders Ollie North and Rand Paul (son of Ron Paul) received an intelligence report from an unnamed source helping to pinpoint the witch’s whereabouts. When they caught up to her she was unconscious and on her chest was pinned a paper with a small hand written poem. There once was a Speaker named Nancy, who said some things that were chancy. She pissed off some spies and that wasn’t wise, because those guys can play nasty.

Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?

Hannety the mannitie as a leader in the revolution, that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.

To imagine any of the Wingnut Welfare contingent leading a revolution is a sure sign of Teh Fail.

Move over, Abraham Lincoln. Make way for the Andrew Breitbart Brigade!

We are all laughing at the abject stupidity but this is not funny. These people are seriously twisted.

Waterboarding…. Torture or Watersport?

March 14, 2011 – Today outside Washington D.C., while conducting house to house searches for loyalists of the former President, Militia Patriots came across an isolated house where they found 4 men spreading wax on what appeared to be a department store mannequin. Upon closer inspection it was revealed that the mannequin was indeed none other than former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the 4 men were CIA agents who asked to remain anonymous. When asked, one of the agents said that they explicitly waited until just after she received her Botox treatment. He also added, “She was so stiff from being injected with so much Botox that we decided that we could use her as a surfboard. After all, for as much fun as water-boarding is, surfing is way cooler.” The CIA has been on the side of the Patriots and against Obama ever since the President figuratively stabbed them in the back in 2009 allowing the criminal Eric Holder to investigate agents who helped safeguard American freedom. The Militia left Pelosi in the hands of the CIA agents as requested.

Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?

Short for Randal, hoping to replace Bunning as junior senator for KY.

These guys are so dumb, they can’t even do masturbatory power fantasies right.

Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?

Bet his brother is named McNally.

That would appear to be the second ‘news story’ that involves Nancy Pelosi being tortured and humiliated to death by the CIA. They can’t even refrain from being evil in their idealized fantasy world!

Bet his brother is named McNally.

Goddammit, I choked on my coffee.

Anyone that thinks Canada is chomping at the bit to take on a colony that’s got a surplus of heavily armed pinheads & is more than ten trillion in the hole needs to save me the roach from that shit.

We’re not as smart as we used to be (THX TEE-VEE!), but we’re not brain-dead.

Sorry to have missed the stirring end of this highly edifying post … but it’s harder than one might think to read & facepalm at the same time.

That would appear to be the second ‘news story’ that involves Nancy Pelosi being tortured and humiliated to death by the CIA.

Question (because I am too lazy to check): Are similar torturings and humiliations being visited upon male politicians in this fantasy world?

that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.

Ah, yes, Liberality. I had forgotten about that. Thanks.

In case you were wondering where Bill ‘O the Clown fits in to all this . . .

“Unfortunately, Bill O’Reilly, the FOX News giant who disappeared in January when the purges began, was taken into custody by Obama Forces during the purges, it was later learned. One eyewitness said O’Reilly kept repeating, “I can’t believe communists, but they’re not a threat. How can this be.” O’Reilly often said this to others, especially Glenn Beck, before the coup. So many in the media had no clue at the machine being put into place by Obama and the left. It is feared that he was murdered weeks ago but no evidence has emerged yet. We are all praying for Mr. O’Reilly’s safety.”

Wait, I missed this:

just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.

So, to recap, on the Obama side we’ve got ACORN, the Ameritroops (formerly Americorps volunteers), the Black Panthers, Suicide Bombers (a somewhat short-lived fighting force) communists, C.O.R.N.Y., the SEIU, the UN, and Hamas???

And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart?? In Virgina, no less!!

Chortle.

And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart??

He used sarcasm!

while conducting house to house searches for loyalists

So spake the “Patriotic” forces of the Right. Ni-i-i-i-i-c-e.

Great vision of society. I’m eager to hear how they plan to rule now that victory has been achieved.

the famous battle now known as Colmes Comeback.

You sure that’s not Colmes Comb-over?

C.O.R.N.Y. Now Completely Leaderless

March 12, 2011 – C.O.R.N.Y.’s leadership is no more. Their last competent commander, if you can call him that, was shot and killed in battle against the Texas Militia. It is believed that Chuck Norris himself personally took him out with an assist from the Georgia and Illinois Militias. The battle took place just outside Prince William County, formerly thought of as C.O.R.N.Y. territory until the Marine Corp decided to throw them out. Hundreds of Marines from Quantico would nightly disobey orders and launch small attacks up and down the County to destroy the communists.

[CHUCK NORRIS, CHECK.]

The Cong’s Last Illiterate Caught

March 12, 2011 – The Cong’s last (and almost illiterate) Democratic leader has been caught in Fairfax County. Maxine Waters thought she could blend in with the poor in the shanty town she helped create due to the fake Global Warming, Health and other various Communistic bills. She was found out by Militia when she was trying to organize a rally in Washington, D.C. for her husband’s bank in Massachusetts. She was already investigated for her role in getting stimulus money to that very bank but it was squashed by the war criminal Holder and the Justice Department. The trial is set for 4 weeks from today.
[VEILED RACISM, CHECK]

Chevez Captured At a Citgo Gas Station

March 11, 2011 – Chavez, former Marxist Leader of Venezuela was captured at a CITGO station outside Washington D.C. . The “Boys from Cali’ as they call themselves along with The Vermont Militia and the usual blood-thirsty Texan Patriots were among those who captured him. As they pulled him from the gas tank, one of the militia commanders named Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots. Chavez had sought the safety of Washington D.C. right after Obama began his Media Purges in January, after his own Chavistas were defeated by Colombia in the War he started in 2010.
[SEE THE MILITIA GUY IS NAMED RODRIGUEZ SO ITS TOTALLY NOT RACIST]

Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail

March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured. Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions and just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.

Great vision of society. I’m eager to hear how they plan to rule now that victory has been achieved.

They don’t. The whole point of the game is that the wingnuts are killing each other once they’ve run out of lib’ruls to kill. Actual governance is boring. A massively multiplayer civil war? Now that’s change we can believe in!

Are you guys who are posting the news updates actually playing this thing?

So, where are all the feminists and queers in this? I hope we’re headed up by Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.

No, near the bottom of the homepage is a news thing you can scroll through, I don’t even know how the game actually works but there’s so much on the periphery of it.

Michelle Obama Captured By Militia, America Celebrates

March 10, 2011 – Michelle Obama was caught in Orange County at 1100 hrs by Joseph Farah’s Militia. Patriots became wary when in the wilderness they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs. While panic may not seem out of the ordinary during a time if civil unrest and revolution, the group was vexed when a wide eyed woman in a peasant’s gown threw herself at their feet and begged to know, “Where are the electrical outlets out here?! HOW WILL I EVER BLOW DRY MY HAIR?!!” Other exclamations made by the occupants of the shanty town as they hurried to and fro, overturning rocks in desperation: “Where!! Where can I find L’Oreal Medium to Dark Natural Powder non pore-clogging concealer!?” “WHY ARE THERE NO DRY CLEANERS HERE!?” The militia was eventually led to Michelle Obama when a man stomped out of a sloppily-constructed shack, turned to the group and demanded that they “EXPLAIN TO THE QUEEN WHY THERE ARE NO MORE GRAPES!!” Joseph Farah, the owner of Worldnet Daily, said ” America has risen and with God’s help we will never fall asleep at the wheel again. Obama has awoken the sleeping giant and there is no power on earth that will stop us.”

Chavez, former Marxist Leader of Venezuela was captured at a CITGO station outside Washington D.C. . The “Boys from Cali’ as they call themselves along with The Vermont Militia and the usual blood-thirsty Texan Patriots were among those who captured him. As they pulled him from the gas tank, one of the militia commanders named Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots. Chavez had sought the safety of Washington D.C. right after Obama began his Media Purges in January, after his own Chavistas were defeated by Colombia in the War he started in 2010.

“The Boys from Cali” cocaine cartel are on the side of the “good guys?”

“La Cucaracha”, of course, was a song, similar to Yankee Doodle, sung with improvised lyrics by revolutionaries during an uprising, but it was a song of the MEXICAN revolution, and sung by factions on both sides – I can’t possibly imagine these idiots are educated well enough to know that, but I can’t help but be tickled by the fact that they think the sound of a Mexican revolutionary political ditty would be something used to humiliate a Venezuelan.

Or perhaps they’re just channeling their inner Interhamwe and going right for the cockroach reference.

There’s got to a be a hack to the game that we can exploit. Imagine turning it into a game where all the conservatives are rounded up and forced to wear footy pajamas while watching Oprah.

Or perhaps they’re just channeling their inner Interhamwe and going right for the cockroach reference.

They’ve already got their own special Radio Rwanda, so why not?

I have to take a shower now.

“The Boys from Cali” cocaine cartel are on the side of the “good guys?”

Could be California.

WESTSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

I actually busted out “children of the Corner” just over a year ago. Righteous Bubba gave it a thumbs up. Man, I miss that guy – whatever happened to RB?

whatever happened to RB?

He’s moved onto something of more substance.

OT: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html

Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.

Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions

Good for him, I think it’s been a while since Breitbart’s little brigadeer has seen any action, heavy or otherwise.

[SEE THE MILITIA GUY IS NAMED RODRIGUEZ SO ITS TOTALLY NOT RACIST]

Hm. Let’s see:

Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots.

I call Fail, there.

Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.
Newsletter, subscription, &c.

On the topic of hawt newsbabes, I’ve fallen for a Fox News Anchor.

The game sounds like it needs an option for the player’s own name to show in the headlines.

“{Player – McSmacs/e,mm\/} detonates 878 pounds of C4 in the Cty/County Main hall during a council meeting – saves America!”

I guess that is probably a ‘Premium Service’?

The “Platinum Level”?

He’s moved onto something of more substance

Care to have the gravitas to elaborate?

Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.

Of course not! He has “piles and piles” of black friends!

they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.

Serfs? Really, serfs? You know, enslaved peasants considered the property of landowners?

Are they saying that sometime between Teh Great Coup of January 20, 2011 and March 10, feudalism was re-established in Orange County, CA?

Or is it just wishful thinking on their part?

…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.

Actually, that’s a typo. It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs, one for each letter. Having made their escape from Times New Roman, they naturally panicked when they saw a militia approaching. Cripes, you know how many serifs there are in the word “militia”? It’s got bits sticking out all over.

Hmm, Sarah Palin, fur bikini…Red Sonja’s busy. How about a right-wing Octobriana?

Goddammit, I had a look over there and immediately failed my saving throw against Stupid.

how would these people react if there were any real chance of the democrats electing a president whose actual positions were anywhere to the left of reagan’s? spazzes.

This game makes my eyes rain.

obviously a misspelling for 26 panicked surfers. Orange County, after all.

“So, where are all the feminists and queers in this? I hope we’re headed up by Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.”

And where’s Barney Frank? Didn’t he mastermind the economic collapse by allowing the coloreds to buy houses thus providing a pretense for the Obama dictatorship? You would think he would lead the Forces of Anti-Good or something. Or maybe its because all liberals are gay so its sorta assumed.

Re: Interracial couple refused marriage license

Well, the guy’s defence is original at least:

“I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

“I have piles and piles of black friends

Indeed. He stacks them like cordwood.

It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs

Great. Now you’ve called the Kerners down upon our heads.

And where’s Barney Frank?
Right there in the Breaking News:
Barney Frank: Friend to All Corruption Escapes

And who’s tasked with tracking down the “Friend to All Corruption”? Ollie North. I shit you nawt.

they use my bathroom

Well, that’s mighty white of him, don’t you think?

they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.

Whoops! I think someone is letting their inner Draka come out. Behold the endgame of all wingnut wankdom:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Domination

He’s the leader of F.A.C.E.? They shoulda went with “Force of Anti-Good”. Who writes their crap?

I really do fear for my country. Anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3d are completely batcrap insane…

nevermind

I have to take a shower now.

It’s not quite as painful if you go for a higher-number grit on the sandpaper – or so I’ve heard.

The silver lining to the existence of this game (other than the EPIC hilarity) is that, since the currency is all “Bribes. Babes. Beer. Word!”, Chinese gold-farmers in this MMO are actual beer-farmers, which is a god-damn kickass job title.

…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
Actually, that’s a typo. It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs
No, it’s “smerfs.” Still misspelled, but Smurfs are beings in a “blue state,” y’see.

And who’s tasked with tracking down the “Friend to All Corruption”? Ollie North.

Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?

Well the secret is not to camp the Islamists, they never have any good drops, I’ve yet to see any beer from a Muslin. Plus there are always hordes of n00bs hanging around to get a shot at the mullahs.

So, where are all the feminists and queers in this?

Dunno about the queers, but this whole scenario reminds me of Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?
Well it’s only fair, Barney Frank is 69 after all.

…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.

If they’re already pulling Ollie North out of retirement, this sounds like a job for William Calley.

“Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.”
“Of course not! He has ‘piles and piles’ of black friends!”

Not only that — he’s actually let blacks “use his bathroom”! He’s not only not racist, he’s a SOCIALEST!!

Bah. Disregard above comment. Beaten to the punch as always.

Dunno about the queers, but this whole scenario reminds me of Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

I’m sure more than a couple of these guys would see Gilead as some sort of utopia.

“I have piles and piles of black friends.”

“My black buds are always “hanging” at my place.”

And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart?? In Virgina, no less!!

Years and years and years ago I read a “sci-fi” novel that I thought was a parody but turned out not to be called The Texas-Israeli War: 1999. Who knew in 1974 that this was a growing genre?

I’m sure more than a couple of these guys would see Gilead as some sort of utopia.

Not unless they stock up on some more goddamned balm.

I remember “The Texas-Israeli War 1999!” The two surviving ReTex metropolises are Crystal City and Dimebox. The beer from one tastes like horse piss. The beer from the other tastes like kerosene. I forget which is which.

I remember “The Texas-Israeli War 1999!”

You have my sympathies.

The only thing I remember is a Texan stripper dressed as Uncle Sam so that her clientele would cheer extra-hard for clothing removal. The fact that the writers felt they had to come up with a reason why men would want a stripper to removed her clothing displays their fiction-creating abilities all too clearly.

Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?

On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.

Assuming the game was written before Joe Wilson’s outburst, how many politicians are going to lead the way in their fantasy revolution? You think the sort of person who plays this game is going to be happy with Admiral McCain? Nope, they’re going to imagine that Michelle Malkin has any concept of warfare, or go way back into the past for Ollie North first.

And to think that a scant 8 years ago, these “people” posed as the Defenders of Civilization. Love’s a bitch when it’s unrequited, innit?

Just curious if any of the more famous wingnuts mentioned in that game would feel somewhat, um, defamed by being included in the game’s narrative. I’m certain that those nutters’ reactions would prove…interesting.

How they see themselves.

How everybody else sees them.

It has to be a parody. It has to be a parody. It has to be a parody.

Is Ameritroops code for Americorps? Am I reading that right?

Yes. Snark aside, the teabaggers actually think that Americorps is a tool of the ACORNic conspiracy to make Obama Sultan-For-Life of the Islamic Ummah of America.

FYWP,WARGW.

How they see themselves.

How everyone else sees them.

Americans, thoroughly disgusted with the socialistic programs that have been thrust upon them over the last few years

There they go again with their thrusting fantasies. “He told Socialism to stop, but what he really meant was, ‘yes, take me!'”

On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.

It’s kind of disturbing that the dude who talks about shooting ATF agents in the head is one of their big heroes.

Please to keep snarking on these people, because they’re starting to scare me.

how short the Republican bench is [veiled penis ref. &etc.]

Indeed. Who in tarnation is the “head” of the Repigs now anyway? Anyone? Um … Michael Steele (intense evil giggling)?! Limpballs? the Malkin thing? Glynda Bleecchh?! Haw haw! They have met the enemy and it is their own sorry-ass selves!! Haw haw haw

I have piles and piles of black friends.

fixxored

Hell, I remember a book back from the Clinton years called “The First 100 Days,” which was basically a fantasy about how many sinners they were going to kill when the Great Conservative Dictatorship came to pass. Only saw the first couple of chapters — haven’t found it anywhere since…

They have met the enemy and it is their own sorry-ass selves!! Haw haw haw

Like the “Haw haw haw” at end there. So very Jack T. Chick

Well it’s only fair, Barney Frank is 69 after all.

Heh heh. You said “69”.

heh heh. heh heh

thoroughly disgusted with the socialistic programs that have been thrust upon them over the last few years

Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.

Now g, in fairness, Bush did bailout the bankstahs.

“I have piles and piles of black friends.”

When I’m feeling crizazy I don’t even take a Silkwood shower after coming in contact with them. See how tolerant I am?

Oh, and I have to add, with thanks to Tina Fey: I tolerate black people. I tolerate them with all my heart.

FYWP,WARGW.

How they see themselves.

How everyone else sees them.

Actually I find the second picture oddly endearing. There’s nothing endearing–oddly or otherwise–about these knuckledraggers.

Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.

Not to mention building thousands of madrassahs throughout the Heartland.

Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.

Not to mention building thousands of madrassahs throughout the Heartland.

And the FEMA Death Camps. Don’t forget the FEMA Death Camps!

Not to mention building thousands of madrassahs throughout the Heartland.

The ones in the Heartland have better hot dogs.

The ones in the Heartland have better hot dogs.

Hot dogs are too conservative for an Islamofascist madrassa to serve. They’d have organic falafels.

Let’s not forget the H1N1 vaccine, kiddos. Which is, oddly enough, a place where lefty and righty wingnuttia converge.

I hate Obama because I think his policies will harm America’s economy. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is a nigger.

I love their ToS. I think it might actually be more awesome than the game. For instance:

It is a shame that America itself no longer safeguards its citizens freedom as we enter this next glorious age of collectivism and decay promised daily by those in power, Republicans and Democrats.

Which is, of course, why all their heroes are Republicans. It makes perfect sense.

ok guys. you have to see this.

http://www.redstate.com/gamecock/2009/10/14/how-limbaughs-embodiment-of-mlks-dream-changed-my-life/

“Rush dares to judge all by the content of their character and that threatens the race industry…”

And from there it spirals into peak crazy. A whole new reservoir of crazy.

Hot dogs are too conservative for an Islamofascist madrassa to serve.

Made from tofu??????

the race industry

We here at Acme Bushbabies have a full line of racial charged products, including our most popular line, “Nappy Headed Ho”.

And from there it spirals into peak crazy. A whole new reservoir of crazy.

“The Sergeant rebuked me with a kind of righteous indignation that had never been directed at me by anyone I didn’t call Daddy.”

HAWT.

They just need to find the right support group.

“The Sergeant rebuked me with a kind of righteous indignation that had never been directed at me by anyone I didn’t call Daddy.”

Is there more hot Sergeant on Patriot action in this game?

My favorite is the part about Michelle Malkin capturing, then executing Grahame Frost and all the other tots tainted by S-Chip socialism.

How they see themselves/How everyone else sees them:

Mac Bolen/Macaroni
James Bond/Barney Fife
Captain America/Captain Crunch
Indiana Jones/Indiana
Lone Ranger/Yosemite Sam
The Harlem Globetrotters (only white)/The Washington NationalsGenerals
Walking Tall/Look Who’s Talking
Return of the Jedi/Spaceballs

May I, Steer?

Han Solo/Jabba the Hutt

How they see themselves/How everyone else sees them:

Also.

When Brent Bozell and Sean Hannity are your manly men, you need to start drinking monkey-nut smoothies. Lots of ’em.

Actor, I would go more like:

Han Solo/Jar Jar

I never had known that Snerdly was black. Rush never mentioned that fact despite all the libel and slander against him and despite the fact that he regularly spoke back and forth with Snerdly (not heard) about such charges on the air.

That’s right. In the whole history of racism, no racist had ever worked, with, worked under or employed someone whose skin color he/she despised.

No – no words. No words to describe it. Wingnut Poetry! They should’ve sent a poet to that site. So beautiful. So beautiful… I had no idea.

“March 16, 2011 – It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Michelle Malkin tops the list of Americans who put it all on the line to save this great land from Obama and dictatorship.”

WTF? How can anyone actually write this with a straight face after the pants-wetting support of doing away with habeus corpus, etc. in the Bush years? I mean, really….really?

Must bang head on something hard now.

Rorscharch / Ozymandias

Steer,

I was factoring in the weight differential

Walter Mitty / Walter Mitty

How about:

Edward R. Murrow/Ted Baxter

Father Christmas/Father Coughlin

Ahnuld Schwarzenegger / Wally Cox

Uncle Sam / Mr. Hat

Here’s some more:

Jules Winnfield/Brad
Butch/Zed
Vincent/Flock of Seagulls

WOLVERINES!!!1!!1! / Timmah (from South Park)

Twin Peaks “Bob”/SpongeBob

Captain America/Captain Kangaroo

The Roman Empire of Pax Imperium and oiled muscle-y sweaty dudes in short tunics / The militaristic totalitarian autocratic Roman Empire that wallowed in the occasional genocide

Dumbledore/Voldemort

Rorscharch / Ozymandias

Ozymandias, although bugfuck insane, is too smaht. I think rather

Rorschach / Dollar Bill
— Thinks he is a super hero, sponsored by the banks, gunned down in humiliating fashion due to a silly, over-elaborate costume when his cape gets caught in a revolving door. Mmmyeah, I think that’s a better fit.

John McClane / Inspector Clouseau

Bruce Lee/Bruce Jenner
Jackie Chan/Jackie Coogan (Addams Family Era)
Frederick the Great/Fred Flinstone
Michael Corleone/Fredo Corleone

Lassie/The Taco Bell Chiahuahua

Fonzie/Potsie Weber

Oliver North, hero / Oliver North, criminal

Field Marshal Rommel/Colonel Klink

I was going to go “George Patton/Patton Oswalt” but that would be insulting a very nice liberal guy.

This/http://redriverpak.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/simple20jack.jpg

Ken Masters / Ken Carson

Doctor Who/Dr. Zachary Smith

Sgt. Fury / Sarge Snorkel
Peyton Manning / JaMarcus Russell

Trying again…

This/This

Crouching Tiger/Hidden Chicken

William Wallace/Wallace Shawn

Sgt. York / Dick York

Rambo/Bimbo

Rambo / Gomer Pyle

Harry Truman/Truman Capote

John Wayne / John Wayne Gacy

Captain Kirk/Ensign Chekov

Ignatz/Krazy Kat

Predator / Predators

Douglas MacArthur / Bea Arthur

Charles Bronson/Charles Nelson Reilly

Chuck Norris / Chuckles the Clown

Rin Tin Tin / Huckleberry Hound

Crusader Rabbit / Roger Rabbit

Tony Soprano / Alto soprano

Patrick Swayze in Red Dawn / Patrick Swayze in To Wong Foo

Kiefer Sutherland in 24 / Kiefer Sutherland in Dark City

Douglas MacArthur / Bea Arthur

Bea Arthur was tough.

The Professor / Gilligan

The Gipper / Bonzo

Sgt Saunders and Lt Hanley / Sgt O’Rourke and Cpl Agarn

Mel Gibson driving in The Road Warrior / Mel Gibson in another driving role

Major Threat/General Disaster

Hardy American stock / American laughingstock

Superman / Bizarro

I’m surprised it took me this long to come up with this:

Ronald Reagan / Ronald McDonald

Rorscharch / Ozymandias

I actually pondered The Comedian / The Riddler, but wondered if that was a bit too campy.

John Galt/Veruca Salt

Perhaps The Comedian / Carrot Top ?

Sgt. York/York Peppermint Patty

Actually I find the second picture oddly endearing. There’s nothing endearing–oddly or otherwise–about these knuckledraggers.

Yeaahh, ok.

Maybe more like the creepiest possible combination of these.

What role does Dick Cheney and W play in this? I suppose Dick handles the logistics contracts, but W….would he be flying for TANG? Or would he be the Dictator-in-waiting? And where are the rest of the elected Republicans…no brigades for them to lead?

Tim Tebow/Tiny Tim

Perhaps The Comedian / Carrot Top ?

Have you seen how CT has bulked up???

The Godfather: Parts I & II/The Godfather: Part III

Winston Wolf/Wolf Blitzer

John Galt/Veruca Salt

*spit take*

Arnold Schwarzenegger / Danny DeVito

Have you seen how CT has bulked up???

I would NOT fuck with Carrot Top. Roid fucking RAGE, yo.

As AWESOME as this thread is getting, I just have one more thing to add.

John Galt/Veruca Salt

The character, not the group I’m assuming.

The character, not the group I’m assuming.

Correct.

(Stealing from Willy, above …)

Wolverines!1! / Wile E. Coyote

(… had to get Wile E. in here somehow.)

Maybe more like the creepiest possible combination of these.

NAILED IT!

As AWESOME as this thread is getting, I just have one more thing to add.

Great. Now I’m imagining Harvey Keitel and Wolf Blitzer banging. Ew.

would he be flying for TANG?

I’m not clever enough to riff on this line, alas.

Wolverine/Wolverines!!!1!

Ace Rimmer / Arnold Judas Rimmer
Lord Flashheart / Lord Percy Percy

would he be flying for TANG?
I’m not clever enough to riff on this line, alas.

No, but he be whoring for coke.

Hummer / Hyundai

Tom Paine / tomfool

Abe Lincoln / Abe Simpson

From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.
Multitasking, I have it.

“I have piles and piles of black friends
Indeed. He stacks them like cordwood.
In the woodpile SHUT UP SMUT

No, but he be whoring for coke.

And actor212 scores on the rebound!!!

Aw, mine got et. I have more where it came from, though, AND THEY’RE AT LEAST AS BAD!

Lion of Judah / LOLcat

Henry V / Bertie Wooster

Standard Wingnut from what I can see. The real fantasy is winning the midterm.

John Glenn / Ed Wood

Chuck Yeager / Chuckie

I did say they were bad.

Glenn Ford/Glenn Beck

Given the well documented Dr. Zaius = L. Brent Bozell connection, I demand a climax with the Cold Trigger Fingered Corpse of Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty/Messican Border Wall sticking out of the sand of a lonely, acorn infested beach as global cooling and gay dolphin-safe tuna engulf the planet.

heaven/hell
blue skies/pain
green field/cold steel rail
smile/veil
Heroes/ghosts
hot ashes/trees
cold comfort/change

Wingnut slash? Rule 34 is very hungry indeed.

Heh. O/T, but this is how the 2010 midterms will go down, blarts:

Club for Growth Knocks Gingrich Over Scozzafava Endorsement

See also, the other freaks freaking out on memeorandum.

Also / Too

Another in nerddom…

Bill Adama/Gaius Baltar

Oooh, Planet of the Apes!

George Taylor / Rip Taylor

Howard Roark/Moe Howard

Superman/Mr. Mxyzptlk

Batman/Die Fledermaus

Wonder Woman/Harley Quinn

Wolverine/Forbushman

Bach fugue / fugue state
Mahler’s last symphony / end stage syphilis

Oh yes, they can get so much worse.

Hercules / Pretzie

TruculentandUnreliable

Bill Adama/Gaius Baltar

Gaius Baltar/Baltar from the 1978 series.

Maybe at the end they will have a huge patriotic circle jerk!

Oh wait…this whole game is one big “patriotic” circle jerk….

I wondered what all those signs saying “McCain/Palin” were about.

Gaius Baltar/Baltar from the 1978 series

Ouch. Come to think of it, the new Baltar gets laid far, far too much.

How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?

Star Wars IV, V & VI/Star Wars I, II & III

King Kong / Ding Dong

I wondered what all those signs saying “McCain/Palin” were about.

No, those were actually signs for a caged death match. Palin ducked out of it at the last minute.

Batman/Bat Mite

I demand a climax with the Cold Trigger Fingered Corpse of Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty/Messican Border Wall sticking out of the sand of a lonely, acorn infested beach as global cooling and gay dolphin-safe tuna engulf the planet.

Ahh, such is my fantasy!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando / Kuato in Total Recall

How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?

With the exception of Lorne Greene, I would agree with that.

Prince / Morris Day

Tea Partiers / Teabaggers

And / Or

Fine Champagne / tasteless white whines

I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?

Walter Winchell/Mark Levin

So, its basically Fallout 3 presented as a series of RNC/WorldNutDaily talking points. I hope they spent a lot of money on development.

Also, Tragically Flip wins four whole fried Internets and a Coke for the ZORK bit. Also.

The mind of Stephen Hawking in the body of Conan the Barbarian / Yeah, you probably see where this is going.

Fresh Prince / Michael Steele Carlton Banks

Mad / Cracked

Visible Pepsi / Invisible Pepsi

I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?

You become five percent of the Mark of the Beast?

Clint Eastwood / Deputy Enos
John Wayne / Tom Arnold
Prince / Germaine Jackson
Led Zeppelin / Europe

Fresh Prince /

That guy’s on the wrong side of the slash.

I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?

My 30.5th birthday! I think that’s pretty fucking exciting, myself.

How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?

With the exception of Lorne Greene, I would agree with that.

I’m gonna disagree. I thought Dirk Benedict did a fine job, as well as Richard Hatch (1978 Apollo) who acted in the reboot as Tom Zarek and the original Gauis Baltar.

But if you mean the shows themselves, I’d have to agree there. If it weren’t for the pretty top-notch model design and good original art direction, and relied solely on the story, they’d be completely unwatchable

actor212

5%? I like it. The rest of my birthday will be spent doing low level evil. I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.

In…your…face…society.

John Belushi / Jim Belushi
Taxi / Taxi

I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.

Speak English, for criminy’s sake

The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’. The rally was attacked by a few hundred Militia members led by Ted Nugent. The children were spared but all others were slaughtered.

And Ted Nugent was wroth with the officers of the militia, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle. And Teg Nugent said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? You did, you saved every damn woman alive, plus a whole bunch of women that don’t even exist. Behold, these chicks are no fun, and if you’re not having fun, you may as well move to Iraq or Cuba or some other hellhole where there ain’t no good times to be had. Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him, you know, fuckin’, right? But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep those sweet pieces of ass for yourselves, man. And take a friggin’ shower. Shit, man.

I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.

Aren’t they connect–

Oh.

TruculentandUnreliable

I won’t lie, that’s exciting but I want something major to happen in the American civil war. I’m thinking that Obama leads his troops over the top and it results in ‘first day of the Somme’ like casualties. I’m sure those patriotic members of the right would beat themselves off silly thinking of their fellow Americans suffering 60,000 casualties in a day.

Update: C.O.R.N.Y. reconnaissance has discovered Dick Morris’s camp.

actor212

Not at the moment but a couple of months back I got off the central line at Bank and managed to find myself exiting at Monument. Christ knows how I managed that.

I blame Boris Johnson.

Cthulhu/Squiddly Diddly

Rusty Shackleford

Don’t make me get cockney on your arse….

I won’t lie, that’s exciting but I want something major to happen in the American civil war

You’re totally lying. That’s nice, though.

But yeah, I was looking at their cute little map with all the different counties they were planning on divvying up, and thought, “Hey, I have friends who live there, and a friend’s daughter lives there, and my cousin lives there…what in the fuck is wrong with these people?”

Tarzan/George of the Jungle

UKDave,

I won’t mention how I spent an hour trying to find my way out of Tower Hill station, only to find I had boarded a train to Victoria.

I was a bit pinted up, you see…

Out of curiosity how many here are in their 30’s ? I just turned 37.

TruculentandUnreliable

Hey, they think war is something glorious where everyone gets medals and it’s all great. It makes me sick to my stomach.

actor212 said,

Hey, the UK is all about the pints! Getting pissed and staggering onto the wrong train is a rite of passage in this country.

Funny story. First time I got pissed was on my 13th birthday. By the time I had staggered back to my parents house I had lost my house keys and also one shoe. The loss of the shoe troubled me as I found myself walking slightly in circles. I got to the front door, leaned on it and rang the doorbell. My Dad came down and let me in. The door opens inwards so I essentially fell in and was laid out on the floor. Instead of going nuts my Dad laughed his arse off and just said ‘Don’t let your Mum see you like this’.

I love our drinking culture.

All of this talk about CORNY makes me want to make some sort of terrible joke about Hairspray, but I’m too fuzzy-headed from the plague to pull it off. Halp.

So do I, except there’s the whole thing about chatting up some girl in pub and taking her out for a snog and finding out she’s 14, and you’re, well, older than your twenties, and neither of you realized it IN the pub because it was so bloody crowded, noisy and dark.

And how did you find out? Her bloody mobile rang with fookin’ Wet Wet Wet or some such sodding boy band….

chatting up some girl in pub and taking her out for a snog and finding out she’s 14… and neither of you realized it IN the pub because it was so bloody crowded, noisy and dark

Oh, I’m sure… I totally believe you. uh-huh. 😛

Dr. Johnny Fever/Rockin’ Mel Slurrup

Wet Wet Wet?!?! If this was recently she’s probably older than me.

Good use of the word snog mind.

Not doing oppo research for the wolverines, I swear. Just interested in the demograghics.

we have achieved the end of funny.

Out of curiosity how many here are in their 30’s ? I just turned 37.

I’ll tell you one thing: I’m not fookin bloody snogging 14, bob’s your uncle!

Does this one count?

Atlas Shrugged/Atlas Shrugged

Oi, those… blokes, I think… sure do love snogging… birds? Shagging them? Knobbing them? After a footy match? At a carpark? Or a bedsit? On the bonnet of a lorry??

English people really got to get their act together and start talking English.

On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.

It’s kind of disturbing that the dude who talks about shooting ATF agents in the head is one of their big heroes.

No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy. Who I’m pretty sure is still hiding in my crawlspace even though I couldn’t find him. I’m starting to get a little worried, though. I mean, he does have a penchant for open flame. Though I suppose at least the rat problem will be taken care of.

Since the discussion has gone to booze and I’m about to go to the packie . . .
I give you “The Drunkest guy ever, tries to buy beer!”

http://jonathanturley.org/2009/10/16/question-of-the-day-can-you-serve-this-man-under-dram-shop-laws/

So do I, except there’s the whole thing about chatting up some girl in pub and taking her out for a snog and finding out she’s 14, and you’re, well, older than your twenties, and neither of you realized it IN the pub because it was so bloody crowded, noisy and dark.

God damn!! You’re Roman Polanski! I fucking knew it!

Travis Bickle/Travis Bickle

No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy. Who I’m pretty sure is still hiding in my crawlspace even though I couldn’t find him.

Well… you wouldn’t, would you?

Atlas Shagged

Robert E. Lee/Confederate Yankee

No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy.

Oh, shit, you’re right. Sorry, I get my Republican criminal masterminds confused from time to time.

sodding boy band…

Bands of sodding boys? I kan haz subskirption plz?

Dr. Evil/Mini Me

Djur

Invest some money in the Viz Magna Farta (10,000 rude words and phrases) and it will all become clear. It will also change your life in a good way.

Golden Boys / King Shit

No problem, Truculent. They’re easy to mix up, one jackass’ bray sounds much like another’s.

The fact is, liberals have no sense of humor. They cant see how the humorus protrayl of biased liberals to show a message of freedom to the real USA is not a bias initself but a freedom.

David Bowie/Kevin Federline

This thing is a parody, right? I mean, if yesterday’s “We are all Limbaugh” thing was assumed to be a parody, so must this, right?

The thing that tips me off is that all of these rugged armies of right-thinking patriots are being led by the media personalities. By the (I hesitate to use the word) intellectuals of the movement.

Even if we grant that the wingnuts view this as the Second American Revolution, watering the tree of whatever with the blood of whatever, or whatever, haven’t they heard of George Washington? There’s a reason why it wasn’t Ben Franklin or Tom Paine standing in that boat crossing the Delaware. It’s typically best if your military is led by…you know, military personnel who know what the fuck they’re doing. If it was true in the era of all-around Renaissance men, it’s doubly true today.

It’s especially strange since they’ve assumed mass mutinies (er…patriotic ardour) on the part of the US Armed Forces. Seriously, you’ve got the 101st Airborne on your side and you need to have Michelle Fucking Malkin lead a charge with fixed bayonets? That’s got to be a joke, right?

George Foreman/George Jefferson

Dr. Evil/Mini Me

Also on that note:
Ernst Blofeld / over-earnest blowhards

Also on that note:
Ernst Blofeld / over-earnest blowhards

SPECTRE./KAOS

Homer / Homer Simpson

The hilarious fan-fiction you could write taking place in this universe, if only life weren’t so short.

Iago/Aguecheek

O.K., nobody clicked my link so I’ll try again. What’s the matter, don’t you trust me? Video of the Drunkest guy ever, trying to buy beer!” Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.

http://jonathanturley.org/2009/10/16/question-of-the-day-can-you-serve-this-man-under-dram-shop-laws/

Fonzie / Henry Winkler

Jon Voight in Deliverance / Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy

I watched it, Gocart. It was, indeed, Teh Funny.

The knowledge that i was Gary Ruppert on a rubbing alcohol bender made it all the funnier.

Ned Beatty in Network(1976)/Ned Beatty in Superman (1978)

So i guess the sadlyno people all finally died from reading all the horrid shit they gotta go through on a daily basis, like from toxic wingnut syndrome. That’s a shame and gavin being a new father and all.

Captain Jack Aubrey/Captain Jack Sparrow

Never fear, chimpevil. How about the

The mustache of Pammy Landing?
~

No chimpevil (is that a veiled Bush reference?)
BREAKING NEWS! Right now Gavin and D. Aristophanes have assumed leadership of the remnants of C.O.R.N.Y., and they have captured Pastor Swank. Developing . . .

This has got to be a spoof. Has anyone seem Norman Spinrad lately?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Iron_Dream

The rest of my birthday will be spent doing low level evil. I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.

Also: when people ask what time it is, give them the wrong time.

Also, too: stop a traffic line.

Hey jakethesnake, I clicked your link. It sounds like an interesting novel. Have you read it and what is your review?

“The Drunkest guy ever, tries to buy beer!”

That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a law blog (this does not include Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog).

The Fremen / Thomas Friedman

Charles Martel / Charles Krauthammer

This has got to be a spoof. Has anyone seem Norman Spinrad lately?

Results 1 – 10 of 10 from sadlyno.com for “iron dream”

Can you imagine if a game like this had come out during the Bush administration?

gocart, it’s pretty good, if memory serves, though it’s been thirty yrs. or so since I read it. Spinrad’s pretty good in general, & neglected these days.

Hey, the UK is all about the pints! Getting pissed and staggering onto the wrong train trying to eat a takeaway fishburger in front of more sober witnesses is a rite of passage in this country.

Otherwise, I could not possibly comment.

Doctorb said,

October 17, 2009 at 0:51
Every day I give tourists blocking the entrance to the underpass at Monument a very quick and informative lesson in English swearwords. The tourists actually sitting on the fucking steps get a degree quality education in English swearwords compressed into 5 seconds.

Sending them the wrong way may be less evil actually. Hmmm, how can I tell?

“That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a law blog ”

I don’t understand why it took them like three minutes to notice him. He must have been .40+ B.A.C. I hope he was driving ’cause he sure couldn’t walk.

Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.

Chianti actually. Fettucine with a vegetable bolognaise. Video was most amusig, but needed Yakety Sax playing in the background.

No chimpevil (is that a veiled Bush reference?)

gocart yeah absolutely a bush reference, he being an evil simian-looking bitch, and i took on the name commenting on the nets and shit, oh but yr name is from a Springsteen song right? My uncle burned a Cd with his some of his stuff–very cool man.

. . . ’cause he was too drunk to walk. Fucked up my punch line dammit.

Norman Spinrad, IIRC, write several alternate history novels. Or was that someone else? Anyway, like M.B. I read it several decades ago and have the recollection it was worth reading.

For my money, it takes a P.K.D. to stir up the levels of crazy the whingers are into. See The Man in the High Castle.

I hate you, gocart mozart.

Oh, and way way way too late for this but
I’m guessing this is Parody, as the idea of Fox News anchors doing anything other then cry in their milti-million dollar bunkers

Excepting of course, that green-eyed red-haired poison-tongued siren that has popped a cap in my heart.

“. . . but yr name is from a Springsteen song right?”

Yep.

Heh, at first I thought “My Uncle burned a Cd with some of his stuff” meant he thought “The Boss” was some traitorous/satanic Dixie Chicks/Black Sabbath guy. That’s not what you meant and thanks.

“Video was most amusing, but needed Yakety Sax playing in the background.”

I agree

OK so if tintin, god rest his soul, can’t put this bitch on the toilet seat, let me throw this-
this

“Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.”

“Chianti actually. Fettucine with a vegetable bolognaise.”

I know you are lying Dragon-King Wangchuck because every liberal knows that bolognaise is a meat sauce. Its in the manual.

I’m calling fake liberal on DKW. If he went to any orientation, he would know that. I think we have a spy in our midst.

I’m calling fake liberal on DKW

You got me. I’ve really bee Troofus all along. Everytime you were agreeing with me… what did he say again?

Anyways – yeah it was a vegetarian bolognaise – out of a jar. Sure I’ve got more fresh tomatoes than I can shake a stick at, since we had that frost a few days ago – but no time to cook ’em down. And it was a cheap chianti too.

ok I’m late to the party.
Veuve Cliquot/Asti Spumante
Coke/New Coke
House Party 2 / House Party 3
Ford Mustang / Ford Pinto
New Glarus Breweries Spotted Cow / Miller Genuine Draft
Guiness/Coors
Volkl/Elan
Umberto Eco’s Focault’s Pendulum/Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code

Sorry heres the link—

fhtml– http://www.redstate.com/gamecock/2009/10/14/how-limbaughs-embodiment-of-mlks-dream-changed-my-life/

“Excepting of course, that green-eyed red-haired poison-tongued siren that has popped a cap in my heart.”

Here DKW, watch this. She has popped a cap in my heart and is smart and not a wingnut. Department of Redundancy Department.

Oh gocart my uncle says Springsteen’s two first albums were here his best. What do you think man?

chimpevil said,

October 17, 2009 at 1:53

I couldn’t read the whole thing, it was so…what’s the word I’m looking for….pathetic. Isn’t the whole article saying ‘I had an early mid life crisis and needed a father figure to tell me what to think’?

Oh gocart my uncle says Springsteen’s two first albums were here his best. What do you think man?

I agree.

‘I had an early mid life crisis and needed a father figure to tell me what to think’?

And along come Rush Limbaugh AND Glenn Beck.

What more could a simple bigot want?
~

gm,
I’m over Lara Logan. Sure she’s obscenely hawt, with a sex-ay yet refined accent, and was one of the few to call bullshit on the “where are the good news stories coming outta Iraq”. All great marks in her favour. Also, rumour has it that she’s an easy lay. What’s not to love.

At least that was before I discovered Cheapshot McSkirtlifter.

Wm. F. Buckley / Gary Ruppert

I’m not over lara Logan

. . . but I wish I was over her, or under her even.

I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.

And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways, Dragon-King Wangchuck? My wife won’t let me watch Fox because of the cursing at the T.V. syndrome (This is true) Further evidence of your secret wingnut subversion perhaps?

And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways, Dragon-King Wangchuck?

You should ask his mother.

“I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.”

I love that album. Recorded in his hotel room with just a guitar and harmonica. He released the demo tape because he didn’t think he could improve on it.

And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways

Hoping for a Megyn Kelly upskirt shot. Honestly? I was watching Attack of the Show. The first clip of Notorious PAB clips was on Around the Net. And mostly, we don’t get Faux Noise in Canuckistan.

clip these clips you fucking lush. keep drinknig while typoing you alcoholish.

Pauly Walnuts / Pauly Shore.

My favorite is definitely John Wayne / John Wayne Gacy, whomever said that. Kudos.

My wife won’t let me watch Fox because of the cursing at the T.V. syndrome . This is true. If I watch Beck or Hannity or O’Rielly, and after a minute or two I start yelling “Bullshit you lyingassmotherfukingcocksuckingasshole@#$%&* and so on. My wife has banned me from watching Fox in her presence.

Jennifer said,
“I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.”

It says good things about your psyche, also.

I dunno. I think it probably says good things about my taste, but that’s a pretty dark piece of work there. You kind of have to have a masochistic urge for depression to really take to it, don’t you think?

Gary Ruppert/Troofie

gocart mozart said,

October 17, 2009 at 2:27

We get FOX in the UK (Murdoch owns Sky and if you want to watch Football (that’s soccer for you heathens) you need Sky) and me and my housemates at the time had a drinking game for watching FOX. I can’t recall the exact rules but it was based on media bias. Generally after two hours we’d be blind drunk and splitting up with our better halves.

Note to Rupert Murdoch – your TV channel and a litre bottle of vodka caused me to split up with a lovely young lady who LOVED giving blowjobs. That makes you Historys greatest criminal. Bastard

your TV channel and a litre bottle of vodka caused me to split up with a lovely young lady who LOVED giving blowjobs. That makes you Historys greatest criminal

Forgive me, but from what I gather about straight women from my het. male friends, if you broke up with a lovely young lady that LOVED giving blowjobs over a TV network, that makes you history’s greatest fool.

After GWB, perhaps, but still.

New iphone ad: We’ve got a Rep for that.

I dunno. I think it probably says good things about my taste, but that’s a pretty dark piece of work there. You kind of have to have a masochistic urge for depression to really take to it, don’t you think?

Hardly. Born In The USA would have fit right on that album, the only difference is the instrumentation. What makes Nebraska so great is that it’s stripped of it’s artifice, like so much of the best music.

We also get FOX in Australia (Murdoch owns FOXTEL and if you want to watch anything at all you need FOXTEL) because Rupert is from here.

People here always ask me if Americans really are as crazy as they seem on FOX Noise.

As the evidence presented here suggests, I’m forced to say:

Yes. Yes they are.

Springsteen sucks.

Also.

Crime and Punishment / Atlas Shrugged

Soooo, Friday night, is it?

Chicken breast, cut into 1 inch (approx) cubes. Toss with Wondra flour, salt and pepper. Sautee briskly for three-four minutes in good olive oil – make sure you get the oil hot hot hot before adding chix. Turn occasionally to develop a delicate all-over golden crust. Chop a big fucking handful of some garlic fairly fine and combine with a a couple Tbsp. chopped parsley. Add the garlic/parsley and a big dollop unsalted butter to the pan when the chix is _almost_ cooked. Toss to coat the chix. Squeeze on some lemon drops just before serving.

For two, adapted from a recipe by the late but none the less fabulous Jennifer Paterson. Melt a shitload (ehhh, say 3-4 Tbls.) of butter in a saucepan. Add fresh shelled peas, butter lettuce hearts, several pinches of salt, a heaping teaspoon of sugar, 2-3 Tbs. water, some chopped scallions, and if you’re feeling up to it, a bouquet garni. Simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Retrieve lettuces, drain pea, reserving liquid. Reduce liquid to about 1 Tbsp. Whisk in 1/3 cup of heavy cream and pour over the peas. Quarter the lettuce hearts and place on top.

I have a few homemade cheese raviolis from the last batch I made, in the freezer; not enough for a meal but spraying them with olive oil and baking on parchment in a hot oven until crispy will be a good way to use them.

The “wine cellar” is all but empty – I believe we’ll have Mirrror Pond with dinner tonight.

The truth be told, Obama’s socialist policies are gonna turn around and bite him in the ass when all is said and done. Face it loony libs, nationalized health care is deeply unpopular with the majority of Americans. Do you honestly think the American people are going to allow their nation’s hospitals to turn into the rat infested tenements the hospitals are in Cuba, or wait six months to have an infected tooth pulled like one gentleman did in England?

If Obama care becomes law you will see the same kind of incompetent bureaucrats that run your local DMV running our nation’s hospitals. Is that the kind of future you want to leave to your children and grandchildren?

Your time in power is running out loony libs, prepare to see a Conservative Republican landslide retake control of Congress during the mid-term elections. This time the Republican base will hold our politicians accountable and let them know that they work for us not the other way around. We are already seeing that in Pennsylvania where Pat Toomey will take Quisling Arlen Specter the Defectors Senate seat, and in Arizona where Conservative stalwart JD Hayworth will defeat McLame in the Republican primary and win the general election easily in that solid Republican State. The same fate will come to Lindsey Grahamnesty and the two ladies from Maine as well.

The Republican base has retaken control of the Party. Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!

Your time in power is running out loony libs, prepare to see a Conservative Republican landslide retake control of Congress during the mid-term elections.

Yawn. Let me bookmark that.

This has to be a Republican thing right? Does anyone here go to the comment sections of conservative blogs and write 500 word screeds about how conservatism failed and we’re gonna win and America hates you?

take our country back!

Stealing Howard Dean’s line AGAIN. Can’t the all-powerful Republican base come up with some original material?

Anthony:

Nope, I go and make fun of them instead.

Ahem.

New GOP iphone ad: we’ve got a Rep for that.

Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!

So sorry. It’s ours and we aint letting you have it ever again. EVERY time you steal have it you run it into the fucking ground and we have to spend years repairing it. No more, child. No more.

Breakfast a la Bouffant (consumed about 1800):

Signature CAFE® Beef Shepherd’s Pie “Minced beef in a rich gravy, w/ generous portions of carrots, onions, green beans topped w/a golden potato & cheese crust;” KRAFT PHILADELPHIA Ready-To-Eat Cheesecake Filling; Newman’s Own All Natural Old Fashioned Roadside Virgin Lemonade.

Preceded by a couple cups of Ralphs Instant Crystals Coffee, w/ 2% milk & sugar, & some Lipton® Cold Brew iced tea, between 1200 & 1600ish.

Top that, Janus Node robot!!

And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.

If you think that any fighting force can stand up to my army of Scarlett Johanssen clones, you had better think again.

WOLVERINES!!! FOXES!!!

The Republican base has retaken control of the Party. Time to pull out the dead weeds our dicks and wave them around until we take our country back!

Fuxxed.

PEEJ

The first part sounds like a scampi to me, but you really had me. The rest has me intrigued.Can I come over for dinner?

Sorry so garbled. Lets leave it at : U cook real good.

Does anyone here go to the comment sections of conservative blogs and write 500 word screeds about how conservatism failed and we’re gonna win and America hates you?

I suspect that Authenticity-Troll spends half his time doing precisely that, when he isn’t over here rarking up the usual suspects.

Soooo, Friday night, is it?

Oh yes. For me, it was time to try making Aloo Gobi a la Manjula’s Kitchen. Turned out pretty tasty and I hardly know which cooking utensil does what.

Roadside Virgin

Which reminds me, people will believe anything others tell them. Like, “Hey look my kid just climbed up into that balloon and there it goes!”

I made a lovely mushroom risotto yesterday. But PeeJ’s way outta my league.

Breakfast cooking instructions: “Lift corner of film to vent tray. Microwave on HIGH for 2-2½ minutes or until hot. Remove from microwave and let stand for 1 minute before serving.”

Exhausting, but worth it.

Just got done watching Rick Bayless make Chiles Rellenos. Jesus do I love that man.

I guess roadside virgin is better than truck-stop virgin.

I dunno, Darkness on the Edge of Town is pretty great. Bruce fucking rocks, period. ’nuff said.

If you’re going to talk about food — one of the Radio New Zealand interviewers has just been talking to someone about cooking with nettles. He’s been running a weekly spot on urban food foraging.

See links to recipes at the bottom of the linked page.
Whoops, that reads like something Mark Foley might have written.

Today was gray and uninspiring. Lunch was popcorn popped with a little sugar. Dinner was quickie vegan corn chowder because even though I was still not inspired I felt like I probably shouldn’t have only popcorn again, and my husband would have mocked me viciously if I had.

Also, my local DMV has wait times for various services at various locations on their website. They have always been quick, efficient, as nice as all get out. I haven’t had the same experience with most of my health care service providers.

POOPLICKED,

I know Springsteen’s no Crowded House but, hey, you take what you can get.

Wingnuts may be miserly when it comes to health care and sharing the wealth, but notice how they never fail to apply a philosophy of abundance to paranoia, delusions, and fear.

Also. Rachel Maddow administers a righteous bitchslapping to an evil tool from Americans for Serfdom Prosperity. Also.

Stewie Griffin / Linus

Shekel Man: I love love love Aloo Gobi. My Indian chops are seriously deficient but that’s one of the first subcontinental dishes I mastered. The peas, btw, are not optional. I need to acquire some Madhur Jaffrey books and work through them.

kg, The chix prep is something like a scampi; it’s pretty much the traditional Froggy frog leg dish but with chicken breast.

SC, Wuznt us going on about nettles just t’udder day?

MB, it’s the (consumed about 1800) part that bothers me. I’m pretty sure they didn’t have that stuff back then. You engaging in culinohistorical revisionism?

I suspect that Authenticity-Troll spends half his time doing precisely that, when he isn’t over here rarking up the usual suspects.

I always wonder how you Antipodeans use words like rarking, and yet still do not fall off the earth.
~

See links to recipes at the bottom of the linked page.
Whoops, that reads like something Mark Foley might have written.

Nah, if MLF54 had written it, it would have been more like:

Do you have any recipes on your bottom? LOL Is it tight? LOL How _long_ are they? LOL

USW.

I always wonder how you Antipodeans use words like rarking, and yet still do not fall off the earth.

The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?

Just got back in town. Seriously, what is that thing supposed to be? A shrill revenge fantasy? A video game? A Ponzi scheme? What?

This was my favorite part:

Contests…have a $3 entrance fee ($1.50 for ‘made’ members) and pay out a 50 credit prize (1 credit = 1 US dollar) paid within 48 hours.

If I spent my entire life searching, do you think I could find one person who ever got a dollar for one of those “credits”?

Jennifer, thanks for the link. I’ve been wanting to see Rachel Maddow bitchslap that “Christian”

Bitter Scribe, I couldn’t make myself go look at it. But that’s awesome; I can see at least a few dozen wingers counting on it as a retirement plan.

The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?

Perhaps the good Doktor has some fancy alien transtwitterin’ device that works while he’s falling through space.
~

For me, it was time to try making Aloo Gobi a la Manjula’s Kitchen.

There’s a cabbage poriyal in my future, as soon as my cushy-except-when-it’s-not job stops being so friggin’ crazy. I am now 20 hours into a 16 hour day (split shift, argh!), and won’t be able to sleep more than six hours when I get home. I actually have the black mustard seeds, but forgot to buy some damn curry leaves.

ne of the Radio New Zealand interviewers has just been talking to someone about cooking with nettles. He’s been running a weekly spot on urban food foraging

NZ killer nettles, or invasive northron nettles? I cooked up a bunch of nettles last week, mixed them with spinach and feta cheese to make a fritatta. I have included one foraged ingredient per week in my personal menu for the past two months. Winter will put an end to this experiment.

The peas, btw, are not optional.

Agreed – I put some in tonight’s batch and they went very well. I am still a n00b, though. I expect to spend several happy years learning to cook Indian food and cheerfully eating my mistakes.

“The proof’s in the pudding.” Tim Phillips repeats.

A pudding made of runny shit, chunky vomit and black tar.

I am now 20 hours into a 16 hour day (split shift, argh!)

Yeesh – I’ve had jobs like that. My condolences.

Lunch was popcorn popped with a little sugar.

tig, next time you make a meal out of popcorn, try tossing in in some pesto.

Il sapore di la ricchezza!

Yeesh – I’ve had jobs like that. My condolences.

Like I said, the job is really cushy, except when it’s not- it’s just that this is crunch time, and the entire staff is overextended. In a couple of weeks, things get calm again. At least the money is better than the trickle I receive from my revenge fantasy/Ponzi scheme internet… uh, shouldna oughta said that.

NZ killer nettles, or invasive northron nettles?
The latter. The expert reckoned that Spring is the best time to be eating them — tenderer and more nutritious — so HA HA HA.

Like I said, the job is really cushy, except when it’s not- it’s just that this is crunch time

That’s what my job was like. The money for it was terrific, but the stress finally got to me after about eight years. I packed it in and changed careers, and my earnings have only built back to about 60% of what I was making, but at least I’m not having to pop mother’s little helpers all the time to keep from going postal. But there were times when that job was not only low-key but a ton of fun.

The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?
Things on our fragment of rock are fine as long as we keep Another Kiwi in a good mood and he does not wish anyone into the cornfield.

…he does not wish anyone into the cornfield.

Presumably, to commune with He Who Walks Behind the Rose.

The latter. The expert reckoned that Spring is the best time to be eating them — tenderer and more nutritious — so HA HA HA.

The key is to get them young, regardless of season. The older ones tend to produce phytoliths, which aren’t very conducive to gustatory delight.

But there were times when that job was not only low-key but a ton of fun.

I hear ya! In this job, it’s not the stress, so much as the sometimes spotty management/scheduling/communications problems (half of my department was allowed to go on vacation in late August, and those of us who remained were entreated to avoid overtime situations, so the schedule juggling was outrageous), and the hours during the busy season.

This is the best. Really. I thought that thing on RedState, full of whereases and furtherfores and constitutionallys, commanding Obama to turn the country over to Hillary Clinton, couldn’t be topped. I was wrong.

Leftover stew tonight. But stew’s always better the second night.

He Who Walks Behind the Roes?

#

kg said,

October 17, 2009 at 3:54

Just got done watching Rick Bayless make Chiles Rellenos. Jesus do I love that man.

Yeah, I guess if he’d taken that job as White House chef he would have had to stop doing his show, so I was glad he didn’t, but still—how cool would that have been?

He Who Walks Behind the Roes?

Man, I could really go for some taramosalata.

The good news is, there are three 24-hour Greek diners (redundant in these parts) within five minutes drive of the workplace, and two within five minutes drive of home.

The bad news is, I really, really, really need to get my ass home and sleep stat!, because I’m working again in the morning.

I won’t even have time to play some United States of Earth before turning in.

The key is to get them young, regardless of season.

Now that could have been written by Mark Foley.

Or any Jesuit, for that matter.

Personally, I would love a North American Union. Then I could marry my Canadian fiance without having to make a jillion dollars a year to prove to the US Government that I could sponsor and support an immigrant, and I could go up to see him without getting shit at the Canadian border every time for a 15 year old DUI and no offenses since.

(I took the trouble to go through the deal of getting a pardon for that from the Canadian govt. Full FBI investigation, fingerprints, police records tracked down from 15 years ago, full disclosure of everyplace I’ve lived and worked since 1990, etc. A big hassle that took me almost a year.)
And they STILL give me shit at the border every time. I’ve seen them trun people back at the border for forgetting to get their car insurance renewed in the 80s. And drop them off in the middle of the night, in a raging blizzard in the middle of nowhere, at a frickin gas station.

Give me that NAU. I’m all for it. What the hell, pretty soon all American workers will be at Mexican levels of pay ANYWAY, and then maybe Mexicans will decide to stay home and Lou Racist Dobbs can STFU.

*ahem* “turn” people back at the border. I hate to do typos. Carry on.

You guys laugh, but there’s a Federal Census worker DEAD in Kentucky!

Do we wait until one of these losers takes a shot at someone, maybe even their primary target, the President? Or should the Secret Service be tracking these numbskulls down and putting them under a supermax somewhere far to the south!

I think it’s time to take these guys seriously, take them at their word, and charge them with making terrorist threats and threatening the security of the country. They’re lying about who won the election, they’re claiming President Obama isn’t a legitimate president for crying out loud. It’s nearly treason if not all the way over the line!

Jr, from your mouth to God’s ears. They are treasonous. It’s a damn shame.

I think it’s time to take these guys seriously, take them at their word, and charge them with making terrorist threats and threatening the security of the country.

This the place for coping-snark. One of the aphorisms I live by is, “It’s better to laugh your ass off than to cry your eyes out.” Be aware, but don’t despair. There are plenty of sites on which to post earnest comments.

This is not one of them.

BBBB, I love this place. I lurk here all the time. Couldn’t get through the day without my daily load of snark.

What you said.

I lurk here all the time.

Quit the lurking, and join the smirking!

It’s just here I can come and rant and CUSS a little more than on Great Orange Satan. So sorry if my post was too serious.

I keep trying to be funny about that and failing.

(Did these guys channel Red Dawn when they made that game? What a crock :):):)

I will attempt to join the smirking :):):)

Would love to.

I don’t have you guys comedy talent tho. But I’m WILLING to LEARN.

So sorry if my post was too serious.

My comment was addressed to Jr., in response to the scolding.

I keep trying to be funny about that and failing.

Just keep making with the posts, the commentariat is from all over the globe, so somebody is bound to greet a comment with a “yeah, I dig”.

Yeah I know it was addressed to Jr. Altho I thought his (or her, what the hell) comment was good.

I just know my comment was a little too, um “srs” also, so decided to reply.

TGIF. Thx for talkin to me.

Notice the asymmetry between us and the Party of Confederate Treason. They say Obama winning the election by 10,000,000 votes is a treasonous usurpation. Not only didn’t we “Hang Jeff Davis to a sour apple tree” like we promised, we let his treasonous ass out of jail to become a best-selling author and indoctrinate the next generation of bittereinders. Sometimes I think we’re too nice for our own good.

ok now you got me going to look that up. Really?

We didn’t hang his treasonous ass?

All my relatives are Scandinavian – I am Minnesotan, some days I think I channel Rose Nylund from the Golden Girls. None of them were fighting in the Civil War. Too bad. I think some of them might have kicked ass.

But they all got here too late.

“Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!”

I see. Conservatism can never fail, only BE failed. Most convenient.

#

Rosebuddear said,

October 17, 2009 at 6:31

ok now you got me going to look that up. Really?

We didn’t hang his treasonous ass?

All my relatives are Scandinavian – I am Minnesotan, some days I think I channel Rose Nylund from the Golden Girls. None of them were fighting in the Civil War. Too bad. I think some of them might have kicked ass.

But they all got here too late.

No, every respectable southern family had to have a copy of The History of the Confederate Government on their coffee table at least into the 1920s. Just like Mein Kampf a little later in Germany.

Sorry: Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government Here it is from Project Gutenberg, if anyone’s interested.

wow, I see you’re right Rev, – I went out and wikied that.

I went down to SC a few years ago to visit an old military buddy of mine. I thought I was back in the Old Confederacy. It was spooky.

And in the Old Slave Mart down in Charleston there were Black Women with booths selling homemade jewelry. It was weird.

I wish I had more funny. Maybe I’ll get better over time. :):):)

FYWP!

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/19831

If I put in the closing quote it puts it in the address so it doesn’t work, and if I leave it out, it doesn’t form a link.

FYWP!

I saw it. Just evil the guy lived to be 81.

Funny you should mention it, from The AP’s Today in History for 17 October:

In 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a bill restoring U.S. citizenship to Confederate President Jefferson Davis.

Whaddaya know, Carter really was the worst president ever.

the next generation of bittereinders.
Could be wrong, but I think that last word is the German for “I would like a reindeer, plz”.
Wonderfully concise language, German.

I lurk here all the time. Couldn’t get through the day without my daily load of snark.
Apparently there are sometimes in-jokes here. No-one ever warned me.

#

M. Bouffant said,

October 17, 2009 at 7:34

Funny you should mention it, from The AP’s Today in History for 17 October:

In 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a bill restoring U.S. citizenship to Confederate President Jefferson Davis.

Whaddaya know, Carter really was the worst president ever.

I remember when Carter got elected—the prevailing meme was: “The Civil War is finally over”. They really did have an opportunity to be welcomed back into civilized society and they rejected it with extreme prejudice. Fuck them.

I own a copy of The Iron Dream and it fucking kicks ass. I read it about a year and a half after reading Mein Kampf, and Spinrad nails it. The NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCES and excessive use of the word “flinders” will have you howling, if you know your Hitler. Spinrad had to have dented, scratched, folded, spindled, and mutilated his brain to write the thing, but it rocks out with its NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCE out. (His other metric-fuckloads-of-ass-kicking novel is The Mind Game, which is a Chuck Norris-sized spit in the eye of Scientology. Scientology is the only entity in this or any other universe crazy enough to spit back in Chuck Norris’ eye.)

I’m also not just saying that because the crazy mofo praised something I wrote, either.

OT, but c’mon, we have topics here?

It’s not our freedoms they hate us for, it’s our hideous taste.

The TV commercial I just saw for that nearly lost me my dinner.

It’s not our freedoms they hate us for, it’s our hideous taste.

The TV commercial I just saw for that nearly lost me my dinner.

It looks exactly like a sketch Bill Maher would do at the start of his show.

Thinking about it, I have a vague memory of a chia Clinton, too.

Regardless, the commercial is so incredibly ham-fisted, it makes me cynical about cynicism.

Bleah.

it rocks out with its NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCE out.

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Was there ever a chia Bush? And did I just set up a not-so-veiled vagina reference?

the refusal of most United States military branches to obey orders to fire upon American citizens

Like they did at Kent State and Waco?

For some reason, this game reminds me of McDoe.

Also, shitty programming:

Warning: mySQL database connection is not active in /home/usofeart/public_html/libs/db.php on line 125

Warning: Error establishing mySQL database connection. Correct user/password? Correct hostname? Database server running? in /home/usofeart/public_html/libs/db.php on line 87

Do we wait until one of these losers takes a shot at someone, maybe even their primary target, the President? Or should the Secret Service be tracking these numbskulls down and putting them under a supermax somewhere far to the south!

Sadly, for the good of the country, I’d rather the former than the latter.

Because one day, another conservative will run the country, and I don’t like picking up soap in the prison shower.

Careful what you wish for.

And in the Old Slave Mart down in Charleston there were Black Women with booths selling homemade jewelry

I love Charleston, despite it’s slave-market heritage. But the fact is, that building that most people think is the Old Slave Market isn’t the old slave market. It’s just a market building. TThe slave market was elsewhere, and isn’t on the main tourist drag.

I bought handmade sweetgrass baskets from a black woman there, and quite a wonderful piece of art and handicraft it was.

Can anyone imagine the never-ending howls of outrage from the right had some entrpreneurial liberal created a different version of this “game”? In which, say, Rush Limabugh sends out his legion of brainwashed, dittohead zombie slaves in a post-apocalyptic world, and the remaining ‘normals’ have to hack and slash their way through the right wing zombie cannon fodder in order to ‘win’? I envision the Final Boss Battle on each level of the game would feature some grotesquerie based on all the usual subjects: Michelle Malkkkin, say, would be the final enemy required to be defeated (i.e. violently annihilated) on Level 1, Bobo Brooks on Level 2, and so on. The Final Level could be FAUX “News” Headquarters, with Rupert Murdoch himself as the Ultimate Boss Villain to be crushed.

And it’s all very graphicly and bloodily ultra-violent.

Can anyone imagine how our friends on the right would have responded to that?

Commenting in Majestic Shoggoth-Devourer Motherfuckin’ Thread!

Damn my fairness for pwning me yet again – I wanted to make some sort of jocose additional comment about this, but I prefer to try to get my head informed before I blither about something … which led me to commit a DNFCI* violation.

Okay, so in other words I actually sacrificed some precious interwebs-porno-time up & watched a bunch of the YouTubery of this bitch … & blazing bollocks, does it gargle chancrenous hyena-dicks shockingly hard or what? This poor ziggurat of floaters is such weak piss from the ground up that (no term or simile is adequate to complete this sentence that can accurately convey its weakpissedness).

I think I’d’ve even found this pretty suck-o-delic back in the days of Joust & Rampage – I’m chagrined to note that that’s 30-plus years ago now. Looks almost like teh warez were done up on an old Geo from back then to boot. The hyperventilating man-bitch that’s narrating it is a real fine piece of work too. Gack & blecch!

Yeah, they can now join the ranks of The Draining-All-The-“Action”-Out-Of-Action-Games Brotherhood with pride.
————–

*Do NOT Fucking Click It

Jennifer said,

October 17, 2009 at 4:08

them thar neocon right-to-lifers sure do seem to keep going in for instituting mandatory abortions & involuntary sterilization & such like hijinx when it helps them to milk the proverbial cash-cow, huh

LOL DROPPING PARADOX

On the off-chance there’s any “Sane Conservatives” reading all this and shaking their heads in disgust, just remember:

This piece of revenge-porn is what you ALL look like to the rest of the world. Not a pleasant thought, I know.

So now we know what Fox News Fan-Fic looks like. Is there a compund word that simultaneously covers “awesome” and “disturbing”?

“Awful”?