17
Putting The URL In Doggerel
It’s quite possible that Russ J. Alan’s great-grandparents are “embarrassed” by how tragically un-hip he “is”:
In a twitter, all blogged up in the web
Ok, I’m on twitter now and each time I log on, I see I have a couple more “followers.” How are they finding me? I guess twitter is a “Social Networking Platform” so I click to follow my “followers”…Is it a status thing to have lotsa “followers”? So I thank ‘em by “following” them? Once you have lotsa followers, how do you have time to read all their “tweets” and function as a normal human being, you know, work and everything? Maybe that’s it — what is a normal human being anymore when we all say stuff like “OMG I just twittered my blog! I hope my “followers” got my tweets!” You hear people in the coffee shop: “Yo! How’ve you been! Yeah been a long time…where’ve I been? Upstairs! Yeah man! See you on Facebook! Tweet you later!”
You can read the rest on your own, in the meantime let’s skip to:
© Russ J. Alan
Well, there goes our plan to hijack this one and call it our own …
BONUS: If Atrios wants a war, we’ll give him a war … with the DEVIL!!!!1!
Dr. Squid said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:21
Methinks Atrios want a youtube war.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:27
Done, Dr. Squid.
Infinite number of monkeys said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:28
Dear god what a vapid, shallow, empty shell of a man. He do great on twitter.
Infinite number of monkeys said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:29
FYWP. “He’ll” of course. grrrrrrrr
D. Aristophanes said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:30
Hey, Stryper’s Michael Sweet may be shallow and empty, but he’s hardly vapid.
Ice Køb said,
October 17, 2009 at 11:03
You can’t be at war with Satan without Venom.
mmy said,
October 17, 2009 at 13:00
Well I, for one, am shocked that a right-winger would be woefully out of touch with the ways of the web. After all, GOP.com is working out so well!
N__B said,
October 17, 2009 at 13:18
RedState Trike Force transportation = vapid transit.
Edward R. Murrow said,
October 17, 2009 at 14:19
You kids with your hula hoops and gaaaaaaaaaaaah
Willy said,
October 17, 2009 at 14:25
Dang it. I clicked on the link.
Brain bleach is in order. *reaches for bong*
¡El Gato Negro! said,
October 17, 2009 at 14:57
“Christians shouldn’t be allowed near Rock n’ Roll. It’s not for them.“
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:16
If you want to win a youtube war with Atrios, just find something with guillotines. The word alone gives him the vapors; actually seeing one would probably send him into a swoon.
Snorghagen said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:23
Russ J. Alan is a creative little fucker. His blog reveals the shocking truth that the Monica Lewinsky scandal was deliberately created by the Democratic National Committee to distract the public from Clinton’s treasonous dealings with China. So far as I know, that’s a completely new whackaloon conspiracy theory.
Alan also mentions that Clinton and Gore planned 9/11, but unfortunately doesn’t offer any details.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:47
Snorg, I believe what he is actually trying to push here is the idea that the Repugs should work hard to regain control of Congress so that they can push through all their own agenda, but leave Obama in the White House so they can blame him for the mess they make.
Wingnut motto: Ask not “what can I do for America”, but ” what can I do to America and who can I blame it on”.
J— said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:54
You can read the rest on your own
Okay, I read the Whole Thing. This guy is just a couple of steps from Telepathic Ed territory.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:57
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowl and wrote a column.
actor212 said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:57
This just reinforces my belief that Twitter is for twits.
actor212 said,
October 17, 2009 at 15:58
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a column.
Fixed!
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:12
“So I guess I’m just gonna become a full-time blogger, hope that I keep getting followers, maybe I’ll be discovered”
F’N loser!
Arky said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:13
Dear God, if he tweet his tits we’ll have to carve our eyes out with sporks.
Also, more people need to view this (via Wonkette) so they can be as disturbed by it as I am.
Don’t miss mark 0:55! Where else can you see a pornographic jizz soaked piggy bank get nailed by a bunch of $ signs?
Smiling Mortician said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:18
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a
column,colon.Fixfixed.
me said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:21
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow…
Citizen_X said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:21
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowl and wrote a column.
No. No way can it be up to that level.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:43
Arky’s link is a must-see.
It’s got it all. Dog whistles (“servant’s heart”), bizarre metaphors (Rat vs Ox? Another dog whistle?), inappropriate adjectives “only the ox has the grace to serve the people”, Ronald Reagnut even makes an appearence, along with digs at Hollywood, New York, Washington and even France.
Oh and the animation is at a high schooler’s level, or perhaps even a grade schooler.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:16
That Winger song is pretty damn catchy, sad to say. Years after its time I still find myself humming it.
J— said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:21
If I may be so bold, I suggest you proceed to the helicopter with alacrity.
Bill Cosby said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:32
The kids these days….with the hipping and the hopping and the bipping and the bopping, they don’t know what the jazz is all about.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:38
Arky’s link is a must-see.
Yes, that video should get an Oscar for fail.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:46
I’m pretty sure they made that Ox vs. Rat video using PowerPoint.
Till said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:55
Old Grouch meets technology
But seriously, fuck Twitter.
Morbo said,
October 17, 2009 at 19:29
Stryper… listening to their music is enough to turn Christians into Satanists. Look upon the bumblebee ye sinners and despair. Seriously ridiculous, check out this interview with the drummer.
Also, quoting Hank Hill: “You’re not making Christianity better; you’re just making rock and roll worse.”
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 22:25
Dear Lord, it’s like Andy Rooney smoked a bowel and wrote a colon.
I am interested in your recipes and would like to subscribe to your cookbook.
Dr. Cheese said,
October 18, 2009 at 11:23
“Russ J. Alan is a political philosophist…”
Phi*los”o*phist\, n. [Cf. F. philosophiste.] A pretender in philosophy.