Palin-McCain’s latest TV ad, aired moments ago on the Today Show, is full of lies. The most glaring says ‘Obama and his liberal allies promise higher taxes on your income.’
Obama offers bigger tax cuts than Palin-McCain to 85 percent or so of households.
Pathetic. They’re desperate.
Update: Another tax plan breakdown.
ABC News just now:
EXCLUSIVE: GOV. SARAH PALIN WARNS WAR MAY BE NECESSARY IF RUSSIA INVADES ANOTHER COUNTRY
Is there anything Sarah Palin can say or do that will make people realize that she is too crazy to be vice president? A quick rundown of the atrocities so far:
Anything else? Could she do anything else that would just make her beyond-the-pale crazy for most people?
UPDATE: OK, so the whole quote is apparently this:
“I mean, that is the agreement when you are a NATO ally, is if another country is attacked, you’re going to be expected to be called upon and help.”
Which is why Georgia and Ukraine probably shouldn’t be brought into NATO. But hell, since Obama has stupidly endorsed the same position, I don’t see this getting all that much traction.
Gavin adds: On the other hand, here’s what Pam Atlas got out of the story:
ABC EXCLUSIVE: GOV. SARAH PALIN WARNS WAR MAY BE NECESSARY IF RUSSIA INVADES ANOTHER COUNTRY
G-d bless this woman. This is exactly what America has been lacking. The era of a foreign policy driven by an impotent and dhimmi State department is over.
I can only pray it’s a McCain/Palin presidency like Bush/Cheney.
Well really, why not attack Russia? After the lesson of Iraq, it’s just obvious that we’d win the wars against Iran, Syria, Pakistan, and North Korea that the neocons have been spoiling for. A quick invasion of Russia China… No wait, I mean China — no, Russia. I mean Russia. An invasion of China Russia might be just the challenge that America needs.
Maybe a ground war in the winter or something — we’ll figure it out as we go.
Have we got a live one or what? Her name is Barbara Kay, she writes for the National Post and she’s pitching the Sarah Palin story. Even if it never gets made, Barb’s already altered the mockery landscape of the blogosphere, possibly of the Western world. But let’s hear the treatment:
Sarah Palin, a feminist revolution without the feminists
How I wish I’d been the proverbial fly on the wall watching the changing expressions on Barack Obama’s face as Sarah Palin delivered her already-legendary speech at the Republican convention last Wednesday.
Autobiographical doesn’t usually work, but … what’s the guy? Kafka? A bit high-brow, but I can see that, maybe. No, wait — even better — Goldblum. We’re inside Barbara Kay’s laboratory. A teleportation pod accident has merged her DNA with a fly’s. She is now Barbara-Fly. I like this. Let’s go with it. Body parts are dropping off her every day, but the upside is she/it is as strong as a fly and can stick to walls. Whoops! She just snapped Colby Cosh’s forearm in a wrist-wrestling contest! Yuck! Her puke just ate through David Frum’s leg! Ewww! Now a pregnant Mark Steyn is having nightmares about having Barbara-Fly mutant larvae baby! I could see this. But how do we get there and how do we end it?
I imagine his pre-speech expression as alert, but relaxed paternalism, like a chief surgeon set to supervise a lowly resident’s clumsy initial attempt at an appendectomy. Then puzzlement as the surgeon realizes that he’s to be the patient, and finally horror as, strapped to the table and, before a nation of fascinated onlookers, he is subjected to … a palinoscopy!
Now Barbara-Fly is watching a Twilight Zone episode? I don’t know … it’s got something, but maybe too much something. Distracting. Let’s stick to what brung us here — how about Adam Yoshida gets turned inside out in the teleporter pod when Barbara-Fly experiments with a way to purge her/itself of the fly DNA?
Humour is permitted entry to dark cavities closed to straight criticism, so Palin used steady-handed wit as her probe.
Okay, I like it! This isn’t a monster movie … it’s a slasher flick! As for the dark cavities bit, look, a lot of your just-out-of-film-school types are going to push CGI, but I’m saying we go with good old-fashioned prosthetics, makeup and some exploding pasta. Maybe gnocchi. Old school.
As every comedian and experienced public speaker knows, failed on-stage humour is first cousin to death. Factor in the supreme importance of the occasion, an audience of 39 million voters, the greedy gaze of slavering media hyenas and the enormous additional risk of ‘dissing’ an African-American saint: What we witnessed on that Minnesota stage, my friends, was an awesome demonstration of raw courage.
I like the dash of ebonics here, the ‘dissing’ thing. Just enough to capture some of the urban market, but let’s not go overboard … ‘homey’. Also, I’m seeing the ‘awesome demonstration of raw courage’ as a little bit over-indulgent. Let’s face it, this is low-grade splatter we’re making, not friggin’ Hamlet. Let’s keep those stage directions simple and tight, people.
Palin’s mockery tickled Obama’s worrisome polyps of swollen self-regard …
Good, good. More ketchup and gnocchi … no, wait — pesto. Green is THE underutilized gross-out color. That’s why I’m the producer and you’re just the writer, Barb.
Peggy Noonan, doyenne of American political-trends commentary, was galvanized by Palin’s performance: ‘It is starting to look to me like a nation-defining election … This campaign is about to become: epic,’ she wrote in the weekend Wall Street Journal.
No, you lost me. This is a dolphin picture now? If you want to bring it back to monsters, stick with the creepy-crawlies, please. Nobody wants to see Flipper take a friggin’ shotgun blast to the head at the end of Act 3.
I agree. But win or lose the election, Sarah Palin has already altered the cultural landscape of America, possibly of the Western world. In years to come, social archeologists will mark her speech as the official beginning of an end to the gender wars, and, one hopes, a return to trust and collaboration between the sexes.
Holy fuck, sweetheart! And I thought Roger Corman had an ego! Look, I hate to break it to you, doll, but the closest we’re coming to Oscar with this piece of shit is if Steve Janke shaves his head and paints himself gold. Baby-fucking-steps, please.
Because Palin proved you don’t need the Sisterhood to pierce the glass ceiling. In her single calculated comment about women, she said, ‘This is America, and every woman can walk through every door of opportunity.’
Got that? It wasn’t Gloria Steinem that put me on this podium. It was my made-in-small-town-America traditional social values combined with old-fashioned patriotism and Alaska-instilled pioneerism.
Whoa, whoa, whoa there, sunshine. Slow down. When did this turn into ‘Them-meets-Little House on the Prairie’? I’m two seconds from pulling the plug on this pitch meeting, I’m warning you.
The ultimate American individual, Palin wasn’t ever committed to any collectivity but America itself. She was never ‘I am Woman, hear me roar.’ She was always, ‘I am Sarah, watch me act.’
Don’t get me wrong, a little jingoism never killed a movie. Hell, a lot of jingoism never killed a movie. The rubes eat that garbage up like Jujubes, as you clearly know. And their money’s as green as anybody’s. But you don’t have to blow that patriotic smoke up anybody’s ass in this office. You’re among friends, Barb. And another piece of advice — shitcan the ‘watch me act’ routine. Never let on to the talent that they’re anything but pieces of meat. Because believe me, that’s got a way of killing you in the contract talks.
Betty Friedan, author of The Feminist Mystique, the 1963 book that kicked off the modern feminist movement, was no Adam Smith or Karl Marx. She was a political nobody, a bored, disgruntled housewife who mistook her own tiny world of white, urban, middle-class, university-educated peers as representative of all American women.
You know what? I’m a friggin’ bored, disgruntled housewife right now. Get back to the anal probes pronto, or I am very reluctantly going to have to give this production a great big ‘no-effin’-thank you’.
It may cause some ‘discomfort,’ the medical parlance for pain, but if, as I believe, we have just seen the curtain begin to fall on the sexually adversarial, anti-family wing of the feminist movement, Sarah Palin’s — er– rear-guard invasion of Obama and, by extension, the feminism-marinated liberal establishment, will already have performed wonders for America’s cultural health.
Congratulations. This picture is officially in pre-production. Straight fee, no points. My secretary will draw up the contract.
A lot of people are saying what Jay Cost of RealClearPolitics says here:
… Nobody would have predicted this on June 3rd. That was the day Obama boldly stood in the Xcel Energy Center and proclaimed an exciting new moment in American politics. Meanwhile McCain, sweating profusely, stood in front of a green screen and gave a rambling, disjointed speech. The contrast in messages was stark. Three months later, it’s just as stark – but now it’s Obama that’s sweating and McCain that’s exciting. What a turnaround.
Except that it’s not ‘McCain that’s exciting’. It’s Palin. And as we wait for Charles Gibson to do whatever he’s going to do in ABC’s upcoming Palin interview, it’s not even Palin that’s exciting. It’s the idea of Palin that’s exciting.
McCain himself has been relegated to a footnote in this campaign. He’s got his bump in the polls now, but can this really go on until election day? Has a footnote ever been elected president?
One reason I live in the leafy suburbs of Philadelphia and have never moved to New York or Washington is that, as a cultural analyst, I want to remain in touch with the mainstream of American life. I frequent fast-food restaurants, shop at the mall, and periodically visit Wal-Mart (its bird-seed section is nonpareil).
Oh, snapæ! I shall take Camille’s delightful rota of activities for maintaining one’s common touch under quite welcome advisement, as I fear I have been terribly remiss of late in setting my own agenda for invigorating reconnoître amongst the Falstaffian set. (I myself have never even seen a Wal-Mart, more’s the pity, but a recent cultural excursion to the outlying countryside did briefly find me in a 99 Cent Store. Sadly, no bird seed was on offer, but such a deceptively uncompounded pricing structure for a marvelous array of goods was a cultural revelation and a splendid insight into the financial complexities that are mastered by ordinary Americans every day, much to the chagrin of the urban intelligentsia.)
According to David Brooks, you might be able to get good work out of morons if you let them work with the smarter kids:
If I were McCain, I’d make the divided government argument explicit. The Republicans are intellectually unfit to govern right now, but balancing with Democrats, they might be able to do some good.
Bonus points:
Many liberals claim to love working-class families, but the moment they glimpse a hunter with an uneven college record, they hop on chairs and call for disinfectant.
Dude, us many liberals are so busted.
Added: Not as great as David’s idea is the following: read your own fucking blog, Sadly, No! [Thanks to Big g in the comments.]
ABOVE: Jules Crittenden demonstrates the proper way to
conduct a scientific experiment.
Jules Crittenden, who cites the Old Farmer’s Almanac as proof that global warming is a myth and relied on Internet rumors to fuel his fears that the Large Hadron Collider was going to destroy the entire planet, now refers to us as “Sadly, a Moron.”
Clearly the wingnuts are having great difficulty coming up with cute and clever titles they can use to ridicule us. In addition to Crittenden’s “Sadly, a Moron” we have “Sadly, Pathetic,” from America’s Worst Advice Columnist™, both of which are themselves sadly pathetic.
So, because we are both better and smarter than the objects of our derision, let’s do them a favor. Let’s come up with our own clever parodies of “Sadly, No!” that we can then let them use when they feel the need to do so. Like, say, “Tristement, Non!” or “Tristamente, Gnocchi!” Or, even better, “Leiderhosen, Nein!” which is, I must say, my current favorite, translating literally as “Sadly-Pants, No!”
Give us your suggestions in the comments.
Shorter Ben Shapiro: MTV manufactures its own market of porn-loving sluts.
Shorter Cal Thomas: Of course bipartisanship is date rape, so instead of us ‘reaching across the aisle’ to them, I think they owe us a reach-around.
Shorter Austin Bay: Turns out it’s actually better that we didn’t kill or capture Osama bin Laden.
Shorter John Stossel: Pharoah Obamanaten will totally wreck the economy with his so-called “green” pyramid schemes.
Shorter Jacob Sollum: As a libertarian, I lament the insufficiently laissez-faire platforms of both major parties.
Shorter Walter E. Williams: The American Bar Association, for wickedly demanding more student diversity, might just as well have burned a cross on the yard of the George Mason School of Law.
Shorter Tony Blankley: It’s alive! It’s aliiiive!
Shorter Kathleen Parker: Can’t uppity negroes and dirt-eating rednecks just get along?
Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Joe Biden’s voting record demonstrates a tolerance of every point of view apropos the abortion issue except the intolerant one.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg: Sarah Palin’s rubber, Obama and his hacks are glue; Sarah’s covered in Teflon, Biden’s got squirrels in his pants, and Obama just double-dribbled the basketball. Yeah. So, there.
Shorter Michael Medved: Obama is both like and unlike Abraham Lincoln, which is to say that compared to Lincoln, Obama is total crap.
Yeah, I know she shoots guns and eats mooseburgers.
But look: I really don’t want my vice president to be a crazy woman who thinks it might be a good idea to ban books from public libraries.
The Republicans are insulting your intelligence, America. Please do not prove them right.
Kthxbai,
Brad
Above: ‘Well, tonight thank God it’s him instead of youuuuuuu’, right, Barry?’
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
D’Souza frets so much over George Obama’s well-being that he’s established a “George Obama Compassion Fund” to which he claims he’s donated the first $1,000. All this is, of course, very sincere not to mention politically disinterested.