Oh, The Irony, It Stings!
ABOVE: Jules Crittenden demonstrates the proper way to
conduct a scientific experiment.
Jules Crittenden, who cites the Old Farmer’s Almanac as proof that global warming is a myth and relied on Internet rumors to fuel his fears that the Large Hadron Collider was going to destroy the entire planet, now refers to us as “Sadly, a Moron.”
Clearly the wingnuts are having great difficulty coming up with cute and clever titles they can use to ridicule us. In addition to Crittenden’s “Sadly, a Moron” we have “Sadly, Pathetic,” from America’s Worst Advice Columnist™, both of which are themselves sadly pathetic.
So, because we are both better and smarter than the objects of our derision, let’s do them a favor. Let’s come up with our own clever parodies of “Sadly, No!” that we can then let them use when they feel the need to do so. Like, say, “Tristement, Non!” or “Tristamente, Gnocchi!” Or, even better, “Leiderhosen, Nein!” which is, I must say, my current favorite, translating literally as “Sadly-Pants, No!”
Give us your suggestions in the comments.
It’s okay with me if you call me a moron, Mr. Crittenden. Just so long as I don’t actually have to be one, like you.
Sadly, no . . . NOT!
I always thought there was something fishy about that Shadly No site!
I’m here all week. Try the veal.
So, people who aren’t afraid that high energy collisions like cosmic rays which strike the Earth and Moon many times a day aren’t going to create an Earth-destroying black whole are morons?
And people who prefer NASA scientists and real climate physics and atmospheric energy budget modeling to informal records of the Old Farmer’s Almanac dealing with one small part of the globe? Morons too?
¿Lástima, No?
Happily, yes!
Science is scary!
Though “Gladly, yes!” has a better ring to it.
I suppose if I type ‘black whole’, then yeah, I guess I is moron, so Dencritter must be right. MORAN!
Sadly! Nu?
Don’t forget that one of the premises of Expelled is that science has murdered hundreds of millions of people in the past couple of centuries.
Morosely Nil?
FUCK NO!
FUCKIN’ A!
A nickname that Crittendumb and the other Rethugs can use for Sadly No? Gotta give them a nickname they can use — a nickname that sums up every last obsession gibbering around their empty, tumbleweed-clogged noggins:
“Fagly, No!”
:(,-
Sad Leno
Sadly, Neu!
Sadly Knows!
Better: “Fagly, No Way Girlfriend!”
Sadly, bunch of stinking stinkers who are stupid and dumb and smell bad and aren’t part of the cool club, and are all dirty smelly Hippies and don’t have jobs and we hates hates hates them forever, we does!!!
How about:
Guys who read stuff, you know, FAGS!
or
Sadly, Thanks But No Thanks on that Bridge to Nowhere
Science = Liberal Fascism.
Scheiße, nein
Sadly, Nova!
“Shut Up, That’s Why”
“Sadly, ‘mo” (Sadly, homosexual, you understand. it means gay.)
“No, Sad” (Hey, its how Hulk would share his feelings)
“Fucking Shut Up Already Morans”
“I’m Writing This From the Black Hole, Asshole“
seriously, I don’t think they want good ones.
it would appear that the worse they are the best they are.
like “dumb-o-crats”
Sadly, mu!
Sad Lee No – China’s leading satirical blog.
¡Chingaste, pinche gringo!
Badly, Wrote!
Maybe “SadLie Now”?
Maybe not.
No beer!? D’oh!
Since we’re all DFH now:
Empty bong? Noo!
Sadly, Nyet? (since you’re all supposedly Commies)
Blue Buddha said,
September 10, 2008 at 20:36
Sadly, Neu!
Thanks. It’s good to get reminders of how taste-free the 70s really were, lest my middle-aged DFH memory lead me down a primrose path of nostalgia.
Badly so.
Moonbats, ho!
Sadly, no! Where the LIEberal lies flow.
Sadly, no! Where moonbats go when the truth they don’t want to know bugs them so.
Sadly, those entries are all sadly pathetic. Maybe Trannie Oakley was right about us.
Where’d my italics go? WP doesn’t even know who I am…
Adley-say, Oh-nay!
OH NOES, SADLY
Didn’t we do this once before? And come up with stuff like “Badly Blow” and “Madly So” and “Radley, Bo(o)” and stuff?
C’mon, Tools Crappenten and Lame-y Alchemy! It’s not that hard! Well, for us smart kids anyway.
Crap crap there was a thread like this about two years ago but I don’t remember which or exactly where. But then, I’m a morAn.
Top ten ‘alternative’ nomenclature for ‘Sadly,No!’
10) Nerdly, So!
9) Sardonically, my big toe!
8) Sardines, Pee-euw!
7) Cad, please go!
6) With the greatest sorrow for the future of the planet, I see you’re insane.
5) Cheney, Blow!
4) Eat, Crow!
3) Madly, I know!
2) Badly, Rove!
And the number ‘alternative’ nomenclature for ‘Sadly, No!’
1) Fuck, YOU!
Sadly, Tiny Turds.
cuz Amy wanted it that way.
or maybe Shitmoat, No!
How about Pajamas Media?
Not my sentiments about Sadly, No (je l’adore), but one that might come to mind if I hung out at Red State too often (or at all) is this one:
Tragically So-So
Or maybe something more 1984 newspeak (y’know…fer teh more literary and educated subset of the wingnut authoritarian type. If it exists. Which I kinda doubt.):
Un-happily, Un-yes
Crap Crap Woof Talk.
….umm, that could be applied to any of their sites in reverse, I guess.
Madly, yo
Badly, ho
Cadly, so
Radly, whoa.
I asked the fish and it came up with
Traurig, nein!
or perhaps
?????, ???!
Snidely, Yo!
Non-Cyrillic speakin’ xenophobe-ass WordPress…
Play with, dough.
Simple + dirty = Sadly Blows!
IIRC, Saul (or Gary?) threatened to start his own comedy site with the name “Sadly, Yes!”.
Sadly, right again.
Sadly, Ni!
Sadly, Nadia’s Theme
Sadly, oh no they di’int!
Sadly, Dude Where’s My Car?
Sadly, Jane stop this crazy thing!
Sadly, JULES MOTHERFUCKIN’ CRITTENDEN, MOTHERFUCKER! (this version should be imagined in the voice of Samuel L. Jackson for best results)
uppity ho
saddle me now
For Bill Shatner fans:
Boldly Go
How about “Nadly, So!” ?
How about: Heh. Indeed.How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
How about: Heh. Indeed.
I kinda like “Sadly, yes we have no bananas!”
You could change the entire scope of the website to document the awesomeness of “The Lord Of The Dance” and call it:
Flatley, Whoa!
Or maybe I should just shut up.
Crap crap there was a thread like this about two years ago but I don’t remember which or exactly where.
This one, yo?
There are some good anagrams, too:
– http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=sadly+no&language=english&t=1000&d=&include=&exclude=sadly%2C+no&n=&m=&source=adv&a=n&l=n&q=n&k=1
The best are “Nosy Lad” and “A Sly Don.”
Sardonic Nostrils
If I wrote for a right-wing blog and wanted to dispute something you wrote, I’d go with something like, “According to a liberal website called ‘Sadly, No!’, blibbidy lefty bloo. Sadly, indeed, as the truth is blibbidy righty blop … ” and then I’d cite all my facts and sources.
It’s that last part that I think I’d have trouble with.
I think it’s been pretty conclusively proven that cosmic rays hitting the Earth, while they are capable of producing black holes, unerringly create them inside the skulls of wingnuts, where the adamantium laced skulls keep them from expanding.
Shitly, Moat
In Bahasa Indonesia, ‘Sadly, No!’ would translate as:
Sayang, Nga!
FYI.
Sadly, no hardon?
Sadly, fap! fap! fap!
“Suddenly, Noogies!”
In tribute to Ben Stein….
Sadly, Clear Eyes
Listen up, misogynists…I’ve already covered this. It should be “Sadly, O!”, because of the Obottery that goes on here.
Appalachia.
Lastly, Throes
Jo, nah.
“Sadly, Mao!”
“Slap Me, Now!”
“Sadly, D’oh!”
“Badly, Faux!”
Those are off the top of my head.
Anagrams: Lads Yon … Ads Only … A Sly Nod … Any Sold.
Not much for an anagram generator to chew on here.
Breaking News: A dozen Interior Dept. officials responsible for marketing billions of dollars in oil and gas contracts had “illicit sex” with oil employees.
Which begs at least two questions:
1) What is “licit” sex?
2) Who are these sad, sad people who would have sex with anyone in this administration?
Shitmoat, Ho!
Sniffly, Nostrils!!
2) Who are these sad, sad people who would have sex with anyone in this administration?
I’d say you’re new here, but I know better, so let’s say it’s a 5 letter word that starts with W and rhymes with whore.
That, or perhaps an editor of a notorious right wing site *cough* K-Lo *cough*
Definitely Sadly, Maybe!
Nevermind the Sadlys
Sadly Nazis, the Liberal Fascists who are the real racists
Heartland, Yo!
Squirrelly, News!
or
Squirrelly, Nu?
Gladly, No!
Sadly, Ho!
Sadly, Not Tan Enough!
Fadly, So!
Egads, No!
Nads, Yes!
Vastly, Lost!
Yuk, Yuk, Snort!
Buttsecks, Yes Please?
Actually, I’d rather help Josh Mencken McChangeyname settle on a permanent internet handle.
How about:
1. Alawiscious O’ Tool
2. Clovis Emory Aldwinkle
3. Mor’tah Qua’alon (Klingon philosopher)
4. Virgil P. Tang, III
Any other suggestions?
Badly blow.
Snortly, Blow!
How about “Sadly, the fact is…”
Tranny? Pro!
Desafortunadamente, No!
Sadly, No Class!
Saggy Ho
Bad Brie Blow
RuppertFan6969
Virgins, Ho!
Iris, I want to see your Sadly O face.
Sadly, Here’s the proof: http://www.foxnews.com/story/...
Addled Loons.
sadly, truly, deeply, no.
dumb-ly so
paisley glow
but te chingaste pinche gringo is hte awesome
Shouldn’t it be “Sadly, a Moran”?
How about “Sadly, NI!”
Or, in a later thread, “Sadly, icky-icky-icky-icky-ftang-zoop-boing-zhonzj!”
You guys have probably seen this already, but just in case you haven’t…from the Department of Things That Should Not Be, But Sadly, Are:
http://www.herobuilders.com/08.htm
I was thinking “Rick, A Moran” myself.
“Sizzle 2 da nizzle!”
The thing that puzzles me (well, no, not really) about this Hardon (sic) Collider thing is this:
Why would a loving Gawd allow Us to wipe out His creation? Follow up question…if he did, wouldn’t that be, like, Teh Ultimate Rapture?
It’s stuff like this that lends credence to my theory that they don’t really Believe, that they really have no fucking Faith at all, but are just a bunch of ignorant, fearful (not only of Teh Other, but Death itself) morons who want some Big Daddy to take care of them.
If I was a True Believer (e.g. Sarah Palin), I’d be happy as shit that the world was ending in a maelstrom of Blach Hole Tidal Destructive Goodness, cuz now I’d get to go to Heaven and hang with Jeebus and George Washington. How can Gawd hold it against me that some evil commie pinko Eurotrash destroyed His World? In fact, shouldn’t I get to take the Express Elevator Up while Fritz and Pierre are rendered every so slowly to Atoms by Teh BH?
Sadly, No Cheetohz!
Nadly So?
crap, should have seen if great minds think alike first. someone already got that one.
Advice from The Rude Pundit today for Obama:
You should be making ads that imply McCain is too old to be president. And if you’re criticized for it, you gotta say, “I think it’s up to Senator McCain to demonstrate he has the necessary energy for this job.”
…Emasculate John McCain. Use Palin to cut his nuts off. Constantly say shit like, “Am I running against John McCain or Sarah Palin?” or “If the Republicans wanted her to be president, they should have nominated her” or “Maybe Republicans are used to a vice president that runs the show” or whatever. Make McCain have to defend himself. Turn him into Palin’s bitch. It’ll make him insane. And if there’s one thing that Republicans hate most about women, it’s the perception of the castrating bitch telling men what to do (see all the shit about Hillary Clinton).
Gnadly, Know?
Alkonholics, Ahoy!
Speaking of horribly ill-advised turns of phrase: McCain recently characterized the Democrats as ‘a wolf pack‘ for attacking Palin.
The imagery, she is not so apt.
Das ist schade….NEIN!
(Added benefit of being in German, accessible to wingnuts)
Crap Crap Woof Talk.
Poo poo mumbles
Flatulently gross
Madly blow
The Algonquin Roundtable
Sadly Stinky Poop Pants Poop. No.
McCain recently characterized the Democrats as ‘a wolf pack‘ for attacking Palin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK4oWay1VbE
I just watched this at work (sound off).
McP.O.W.’s gonna use up all his negativity too early, and his final ads will consist of nothing more than a closeup shot of his face, with teeth clenched and steam pouring out of his ears.
Gnadly, low.
Linearally, toed.
Adverbally, negative.
Sadsacs
or preferably
Sadsacks of shit
But it’s no fun if you don’t get to sit on a cloud and watch all the unbelievers suffer, just like you kept telling them they would, but would they believe you? Noooooooo!
Gnadly, Gnu!
Sadly, No – you shut up!
Seditiously, No!
Suddenly Susan!
Gary Ruppert’s Place.
Suckly Gnomes!
Studly? No!
but the one I like best is:
Mos Sadly Spaceport, a wretched hive of scum and pedantry.
Sadly, No Amount of Snark Is Going to Negate the Fact That Anti-American Traitors Like Bill Ayers and Michelle Obama and That Guy at the University Who Wants to Kill the White People Whose Name I Forget But He’s Very, Very Racist and Probably a Democrat will Send Voters Running to the McCain Camp in Droves
Gladly so!
Egads, No!
Shabbily Slow!
GOD HELP US NO!
Testicle-ly, Low!
Manboobs, Ahoy!!
and if it is open to hispanic
ni de pedo, cabrón.
nelson, vato!
chale, no!
Camel Toe!
Knights who say nee!
It is clear that the goob-monster has not read the original Klingon.
It should be “mortagh q’alon”. Get it right.
/Trek-geek
Do What, Now?
Fecally, a load.
Negatively, sad.
Scabby, Picked!
Shrilly, So!
Alkon, Pho!
Vagina, Ho!
Crew, Row!
If Obama loses, I’m sure it’ll be Sadness, Obots.
Sonnybo, No!
You guys have probably seen this already, but just in case you haven’t…from the Department of Things That Should Not Be, But Sadly, Are:
> http://www.herobuilders.com/08.htm
http://www.wingnuts.com sold them with a specially-sized case (144) of Kleenex.
It was instantly sold out.
saggy, that should be “WHEN Obama loses…”
man, you can tell they’re panicking when even the trolls are losing track of the narrative.
Suddenly, Shit Moat!
faggy, ho?
gladly blow
haggy foe
madly slow
babbling, no?
Speaking of horribly ill-advised turns of phrase: McCain recently characterized the Democrats as ‘a wolf pack‘ for attacking Palin.
They should have shown Palin slowly rising over the horizon in a helicoptor, sparying machine gun fire.
Saddle me; blow!
or, alternately, Dinglebert Slappedyback.
Sadly, out come the eff words and the vile, hypocritical sexist, ageist, racist slurs!
sammach woe
Strenuously, implode.
Great news for the GOP! This most certainly does not bode well for Obama.
Sadly, I’m Bradley!
TristementMalheureusement, Non!Sorry if this one’s been posted but…
Suddenly Salad!
Cliiiiif! Make Rotten stop calling me a troll!
the Interior Department agency that collects oil and gas royalties…
They still do that? Looks like Cheney’s been dicking around on the job.
How about:
Unctuously, Sloe!
Sigh. Oh how we lurvs that word.
BTW – wasn’t it that the Interior Dept. employees had “oily sex with illicit employees”? We were hoping.
Seinfeld, quotes!
Sigh. Oh how we lurvs that word.
“Extreme Unction” would be a good title for a reality TV show.
The leprechaun shouting “I’m tragically malicious” made me laugh all day yesterday.
Tragically, So!
Boo hoo hoo, d’oh!
Ah stop yer whinin’, yo!
Crocodile tears, so!
Westward ho!
. . . wait a minute. What were we doing again?
I love this hypothesis so much that I would give you a huge ol’ chunk of grant money and a big lab for your research, were I an eccentric billionaire.
Have a look at this cool webcam from the Large Hadron Collider at Cern:
http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html
Sad Emo.
Hadrons, Go!
Sadly, Moe !
FYWP!
Sadly, Moe!
sorry, sagra.
the silly season has me out of sorts.
Smut C- I don’t think a show with ‘Unction’ in the title will fly in a country responsible for the show “Hurl”:
http://www.g4tv.com/hurl/splash.aspx
Ennui, Ennui!
Between a man and a woman, in the missionary position, with the lights out so you don’t have to see what you’re doing. Everything else is far too kinky. Except anonymous blowjobs in bathroom stalls. So, in short, sex where you don’t see who you’re doing it with.
And considering we’re all a bunch of cowards and traitors, the French version is what I thought would be the obvious choice:
Tristement, Non!
What ever happened to ‘Sadly, Penguin Sex’ ?
Sullen Nullity
Department of the Interior? Nudge, Nudge?
Great news for the GOP! This most certainly does not bode well for Obama.
Are you serious? The agency head is a political appointee not a career employee or is at least part of the Senior Executive Service who serve at the discretion of the secretary. Most of the offenses seem to be post 2000 so Obama can always blame the culture on the appointee/SESer.
The Dept of the Interior has always been kind of a squirelly organization. One the agencies had their internet access yanked because they imposed no security whatsoever. There was a huge suit brought against Indian Affairs for mishandling of the Indian Trust fund (Cobell vs Kempthorne).
Sadly, no harm, no foul, Rotten.
Correction on Cobell, the defendants are the Dept. of the Interior and the Dept. of the Treasury not BIA
Oops – I am definitely not firing on all cylinders. Internet access was shut down to a number of Interior’s agencies in 2001 due to a request by the plaintiffs. Access wasn’t restored until 2008.
I don’t think a show with ‘Unction’ in the title will fly
It puts the unction back in the basket, or it gets the hose again.
I keep waiting for the popularized development of Sadly No, that is,
Sadly Kabuki
How about…
Pee Wee’s Playhouse
it seems to be out of use and it’s got a catchy opening tune.
Extreme Unction? Doesn’t that usually precede BOHICA?
Fatty, Ho.
Gotta recognize bc’s shout-out to the Very Silly Party’s candidate Fintinlimbim, etc. etc., above.
However:
All the schoolyard derivations of this blog’s name listed here are way too good for the unimaginative rightwing shitweasels. Although their Dark Master Rove seems to have a savant-like talent for slinging the merde … unfortunate, really, that any such talent for actually governing in a wise & responsible manner has somehow evaded the GOP gene-pool.
Meanwhile, the rumblings out in MSM-land suggest that the well-mannered lapdogs are horrified, waving hankies in the air and calling for smelling salts over the way that the McCain campaign is, you know, out-and-out lying since the convention.
Well shee-it. Wasn’t that the whole point?
Mucho gusto, me llamo Sadly,
I’m snarkier than Ivins, Molly,
And if ya wanna get popped in your knees,
Just wipe that look off your smug ass face.
You hate me cuz I got what you need,
A brain inside my noggin that’s immume to TV,
And, if ya wanna get beat mentally,
It will be over in a minute if ya…
Since we’re all pinko commie leftists, it they really should use-
Sadly, Nyet!
I don’t think a show with ‘Unction’ in the title will fly
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056780/
Gladly Blow!
or
Blow? Gladly!
I think that all the posts today are very nice.
Why, THANK you, Blinky! Here – have a bizkit!
Hey! I think the posts are pretty good, too! Can I have a donut?
Dragon-King, I knew somebody would bite on that one….
I’ve been hanging here too long.
Commenter Sean Bannion on Crittenden’s blog post rhetorically asks
Does anyone REALLY think George Allen had ANY idea about the connotations of “macaca?” C’mon, really????
Uh, like yeah Sean, he really did. For starters, he said it twice with emphasis to the young man who was physically in Allen’s presence. Secondly, Allen’s mom came from North Africa, where live monkeys called macaques.
I would have replied on Crittenden’s blog, but I was too lazy to go through with applying for a login and password.
I would give you […] a big lab for your research
This does not sound good.
Maybe it’s too “meta” or whatever but what about “Gladly, No!”
Sadly, Blows!
(I’m sure it’s been mentioned already,)
Sad, eh? Ya hoser.
Ahem.
YOU”RE ALL ONE GUY.
Tranny, Ho!
Atchly, Ho.
*got nuthin’*
How ’bout: Sexy? No!
rotten mcdonald,
I’m a sucker for low hanging froot. But if you wanna be all too clever by half about it:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0350448/releaseinfo#akas
Badly Faux!
Why can’t these sad fuckers mock better? They are certainly full enough of spite.
Nutly. So?
Sad Leno
Gonadally, Whoa!
Road Badly, Slow!
Volcanically, Blow!