Fuck “Gamers”

This post is 15,000 words long, which I’m pretty sure is a record for the site. For those of you who are fans of my longer work, consider this a partial apology for being whisked away for so long. For those of you that prefer the shorter stuff… apparently I hate you and wish you pain. I’m sorry, but the voices make me make you suffer so.

Milo Yiannopoulos, The Andrew Breitbart is Still Dead Necropolis:
Feminist Bullies are Tearing the Video Game Industry Apart*


You, see, with luck, you’re sitting there completely ignorant of the amount of stupid I’m going to have to explain today with this… everything and thus you are safe and secure, shrouded in blissful ignorance of just how entitled, disconnected from reality, and just utterly dumb today’s subject is and the “movement” he comes from.

Cause make no mistake, what we’re having to cover today, the depths of research I had to pull just to understand the full scope of batshit conspiracy theory level bullshit that underlies the event this fuck is talking about and more importantly, the fact that I’ve already learned of most of it, just because of the interests I have and the circles I run in… It’s just so… DUUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBB. Mind-numbingly so.

Cause see, today’s bullshit is regarding harassment of women in gaming.

And we’re diving straight into the horse’s anus to see what poisoned oats have been sampled to allow a bunch of whining pathetic man-children seem like the victims of the horrific unbelievable oppression that is DUN DUN DUNNNNNN women fucking existing in the treehouse they thought they had properly sterilized as their he-man woman-hater’s club and it’s time to pitch an epic level hissy fit. That’s right:

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • AAAIIIEEEE our targets for online harassment actually recognizing it for what it is and not being super happy about being driven out of their homes and having their friends and family stalked, harassed, driven out of their jobs, and put in fear for their lives because a bunch of sad losers think that endless terrorism will somehow make all the women disappear forever and allow pathetic men to pretend sitting on a couch and playing Call of Duty makes one a super manly man whose manparts are extra manly and irresistible to fake anime girls IS THE REAL OPPRESSION FROM VILE HARASSING VILLAINS WHO WANT TO DRIVE PEOPLE OUT OF GAMING! It is! You can’t take away our toys by… enjoying and creating more of them, while being women and/or queer! You can’t! Also, this suicidal attempt at driving out the majority of people who’d be interested in gaming won’t at all backfire by creating a situation where companies are less and less likely to churn out giant artistic megaprojects for the douchebro gamers given that their audience is a dwindling audience of manchildren who think not getting exactly their way is something that should be reacted to with death threats and endless harassment.

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What? I Write For a Website? Since When?

There is this to be optimistic about. The fact that after years of being unable to get the general populace to give a damn about the shockingly high number of unarmed black men executed by violent psychopath cops, we’re finally having a national conversation about it and the media is having to report on the issue… And it only took having a police department go complete stereotypical movie villain and arresting so many journalists that the American news media was shamed into pretending it cared. Go progress?

So it turns out that detangling 8 and a half years worth of comingled stuff, packing up half of it, rearranging the other half into a livable area, and acquiring a new housemate takes up a little more time than I had anticipated. No worries. Luckily nothing major occurred during the impromptu summer vacation! [step over the corpse of Michael Brown]

Nope, nothing at all.

So, yeah… Ferguson.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. I mean, we have the everpresent slaughter of unarmed black men and boys by Klansmen-wannabe cops who mistake house keys for sixteen grenades and a rocket launcher. We have people actually protesting and protesting hard something that for a long time the black community was expected to shrug off (oh, did they kill off another one of our kids, yeah, that happens).

There’s the cops. Oh wow, is there the cops. I mean, threads like this one or the Ferguson twitter hashtag tried to record the sheer scope of the abuses committed by the totally not racist, homocidal, and corrupt cops of St Louis. I mean, for fuck’s sake, the cops managed to somehow combine all the worst traits of ever sci-fi villain mook army, deranged dictatorships, torture camps, and Segregation Revivalists into some sort of epic ball of pure unadulterated fuckwittery. I mean, first there’s the shooting itself and the way it was left for the people like it was the message to the community from the first season of the Wire*. Add to that the random rule that people needed to keep marching always for it to count as a rally. The theft of medical supplies from churches helping the protesters. The general attacks on the protesters. The arrest of countless foreign journalists. The beatings of unarmed women and children. The constant use of tear gas as a means to terrorize rather than for any legitimate aim. Overall, the whole thing has reminded me most of the media’s response to the Occupy rallies in its sheer level of baldfaced corruption with the knowledge that the proles will be powerless to change anything.
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A Black Teenaged scalp is worth about a quarter million

I haven’t found anything profound to add in the wake of the Michael Brown shooting in HendersonFerguson, Mo. Same shit different day. The life of a black person in this country is of little value while alive but can be a windfall for the person ending that life.

Darren Wilson, like George Zimmerman before him has been the beneficiary of 234,000 dollars donated on his behalf by supporters who are totally not in possession of any racial animus.

A sampling of some of the comments attached to donations:

“Ofc. Wilson did his duty. Michael Brown was just a common street thug.”

“Waste of good ammo. It’s my privilege to buy you a replacement box.”

“Black people can be their own enemy and I am not white…He was shot 6 times cause the giant wouldn’t stop or die. Evil people don’t die quick”

“All self-respecting whites have a moral responsibility to support our growing number of martyrs to the failed experiment called diversity.”

“I am so sick of the blacks using every excuse in the book to loot and riot.”

“I support officer Wilson and he did a great job removing an unnecessary thing from the public!”

The following screenshot was compiled by Jon Hendren


Click the above to embiggen. God Bless their hearts.


Bootstrap Nooses and the True Meaning of the Personal is Political

I have no idea how some could have an idea that the system is rigged and one’s own effort will not matter for whether one will succeed in a world where Bobo Brooks makes more than nearly every school teacher and nearly every starving artist or writer.

Bobo Brooks*, The NY Cum Stain on the Mattress:
The Character Factory

Oh Bobo. Laughable. Pathetic. Ultimate poster child for the underperforming, incompetent, and lazy child of privilege who lives in daily fear of the day actual meritocracy breaks loose and he has to actually work for his daily bread instead of waxing on about the Applebee’s fictional salad bars and gynocratic teacher overlords to assuage the consciences of fellow rich assholes who want to feel like their carefree piss parties splashing onto the poor are welcomed as liquid gold falling from the sky.

A sad caricature who wants to be seen as a modern Plato while possessing the intellect and reasoning ability of a particularly unthreatening puppy. A modern tragedy of the myths rich assholes tell to themselves, of how more meaningful one is when shepherded and protected by wingnut welfare producing comforting lies to afflicted the afflicted and comfort the comfortable, yet lacking anything of merit to show for it other than a forgettable stamp on the carousel of courtiers and jesters.

And Bob damn is he an irredeemable fuck.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Really? REALLY? I mean, for fuck’s sake, man, it’s a Bobo Brooks column titled “The Character Factory”. What the fuck do you think it’s about… No, it’s not about a literal factory that creates cartoons, that’s just… It’s about young, poor people being lazy and morally corrupt bastards for not magicking jobs out of the goddamn aether. Like pretty much every other Bobo post since his paymasters shitcanned this economy.

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Flip the Coin, Two-Face

No wait, bad analogy, in Two-Face’s character, one of the choices is actually good.

Ross Douchehat, The Motherfucking Scumsucking Bottomfeeding New York Times:
Obama’s Impeachment Game

Man, fuck the borked site, some things need to be waded after as if they were piranha-proof bikini bottoms. And in this particular carcass of our once proud vessel, it is the simple fact that the Republicans have completely lost the goddamn plot.

I know, hardly news, but the Republicans have managed to outdo themselves in their fervor to repeat Brazil’s performance against Germany in incompetence by flipping out over the fact that it’s been 5 and a half years and the blackity black man is still in high office and no one seems to be scared of them even though they’ve done their damnedest to legalize murder of the untermenschen in their little fiefdoms. As such, they’ve soiled their little nappies over calls for impeachment, figuring it worked well enough delegitimizing the last Democratic president, but apparently forgetting that one is supposed to have like, a cause, before banging the table about how being black and in power is against the law.

As such, the Republican House has managed to bring shame to that benighted and plagued palace of ineptitude and intentional ignorance by raising the call and saying that they will get that darn wasscally pwesident if it’s the last thing they do, you know, as soon as they find some lame excuse to semi-justify it. The current course led by John Semi-Erect Penis is to mumble something about how Obama isn’t doing enough to enforce the Health Care Law that Republicans have been blocking the enforcement on, because apparently conservatives never graduated from the school of playground arguments and think “stop hitting yourself” is legally binding.

Granted, it’s not like they’ve bothered to even pretend they care about the rule of law these days what with the Supreme Court giving a big middle finger to the Establishment Clause and well… pretty much every Republican action since Nixon first started his band of thieving scoundrels, but it’s one of those things that is so blatant that even Joe Nosepicker is forced to cock their head in genuine query.

Which has led to a fascinating round of kabuki as our Bought-and-Sold Media once again flash the dollar-signs printed on their solid diamond go-go shorts to try and deflect the damage of this hilarious own-goal and argue that Democrats are the real embarrassment for daring to notice and comment on this tragedy of errors. Because Democrats being alive is apparently too much to keep pretending that it’s at all an even choice between the Shit Party and the Cabal of Cannibals who Plan to Eat us in Our Sleep.

And for those “Intelligent” conservatives and “moderates” employed by likes of the motherfucking New York Times, the cover up is more hilarious than the fail itself. Roll our first clip.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • What this broken window I’m standing next to with a baseball bat? Um, I didn’t do it. It was the black guy who lives here. Yeah, he caused this broken window, which doesn’t even exist. And we should be very ashamed that he’s taking valuable time from fixing this not at all broken window to ask questions like “who broke this window” and “what the fuck are you racist fucks doing?” Very, very ashamed. Bad Obama. We should impeac- I mean, ha ha what broken window?

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The Fucking Spurs are now my favorite NBA team.


While I root for the Pacers, when they have a chance, I have never really had a NBA team that I rooted for with regularity. Generally speaking, I really could not stand the Celtics or Lakers, rooted for Detroit and Chicago during the Thomas and Pippen tenures, but there has been one team that I have rooted for since David Robinson showed up; the Spurs.

Tim Duncan, is in my opinion, the classiest act in the league. Popovich is one of the finest coaches of all time. The reason for my crush is the recent hiring of Becky Hammon, the first paid female assistant coach of an NBA team. Fucking A!!!

A sixteen year veteran of the WNBA, Hammon spent the majority of last season with the Spurs while recovering from an ACL injury, earned the respect of the staff and a job.

Broken glass ceilings make wingnuts and me cry, though the tears fall for different reasons.


Libertarian (Ha!) stumbles blindly into a field of rakes

Glenn Harlan Reynolds, aka, Earnest T. Bass esq. casher of government paychecks and collector of Wingnut Welfare tries really hard to find something brilliant and substantive to say about the slutty sluts that lurk in every dark corner of his fevered imagining. Thanks to Roy, I have forced myself to stumble upon something which can not be unseen.

The third graph manages to crash the party and abscond with all of the cakes, booze and anything else not bolted to the foundation. A fucking graduate level thesis could be composed attempting to parse everything that is wrong with the following.


She’s also the authoress of a sophomoric psychosexual analysis of the Tsarnaev brothers. To a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.

Emphasis mine. Authoress, check, sophomoric, check. The blind squirrel has his nuts in a row, his buddy the Beaver has hewn a log into a Cricket Bat of “IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION.

To a certain class of women in the media, it’s always about them, and their various mucous membranes.

Heh indeedy, indeed…

It appears that recent adjustments have resulted in the loss of our media library which kind of sucks…Anyway, consider this thread open.


Oi, What a Mess

So apparently one of the shapeless horrors we call interns (because exploiting the young for free labor is a practice we feel is wasted on the vulture capitalists of the world) thought that the bionic hamster breeding room needed a bit of spring cleaning and now the site is a wee bit epically fubared up at the moment as you may have noticed by the nesting comments, emo wordpress default theme, and the chilling sensation running down your spine whenever you try and scroll.

So where we are right now is kind of slammed out of most of the tools we use to do our snarking jobs here, leaving us with the unenviable position of needing to put up a throwaway post just to test which tools we still have access to all while being haunted with the possibility that this post could disappear into the aether that spawned it the moment the eldritch gears start cranking the Hamsterinator 3000 back to life.

Which means there has never been a better time for SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION THEATRE!

Yes, indeedy, one of the few recent good things that has fallen in my lap in the last month is that I’m in a book. Specifically, this book.

It’s called “Letters For My Sisters” and is an anthology of trans* missives written to ourselves back in time. My entry, “Why You’ll Fight” naturally includes at least one time travel paradox joke for those into that sort of thing.

With this, my entrance into the secret trans* cabal that rules the world is at least 3.1% closer.

So yeah, consider this an open thread as I see how much of this got through.


Making it worse!? How could it be worse?

It sure seems like we always find new ways to mess things up around here. Such as today, again.

Things are running now, but I expect there is a lot of missing crap and issues. I’d urge you not to break anything, but I don’t see how you could do any worse. Please bear with us — as we do with you. You’re kind and generous like that.


Tricorner Foil Hats and Genocide Apologia

I really hope they wash their hands after writing this crap.

Robert Weissberg, American Klansmen:
When it Comes to Race, Why Worry About Facts?

It’s been strangely quiet this summer on the wingnut front. Sure, there is the standard level of stupid and the usual checklist of sexism, racism, classism, and homophobia, but it’s all sort of boiled down into flavorless pablum as if a British cook has taken over the talking points.

And it’s not like there haven’t been ample opportunities to go as vile as possible. The Hobby Lobby decision handing their dreams of marrying corporate oligarchy to religion as state, the usual stream of shooting sprees, Elliot Rodgers. But the output has been dull for the most part, content to just recycle the same old tired litany of half-remembered conspiracy theories and dog whistles before going on vacation to some slightly colder seaside town recently unthawed from the melting ice (which is totally something else’s fault, just like the economy).

And while zero effort affairs may be just fine for a wingnut audience who only need the thinnest of excuses to hate on their favorite targets, it does pose a bit of a problem for those of us who depend on a delicate ecosystem of snark and ridicule.

Though… that being said, there is something to mine from this fetid swamp, though perhaps in slightly shorter sojourns where we don’t have to pack in an entire day’s rations and a spare biohazard suit.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • It is absolutely shameful that those shifty niggers are so lazy and uncaring of their plight that they seem to have completely failed to single-handedly defeat our racist criminal system and society, fix our broken economy, and magically make jobs and career advancement out of thin air. This pathetic failure proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we whites who support a punitive and brutal system of oppression are the truly deserving and intelligent.

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