IMPORTANT ADDITION: When I say this post is about to be inside baseball and esoteric, it turns out what I meant was it’d be a soggy mess of impenetrable minor distinctions that are going to be a lot of foreign terms very fast for those who aren’t currently living the experience of being a trans* person who is connected to a robust queer community. And so I apologize for this. It was an experiment and like most experiments it failed horribly. For those still interested after this warning, I hope you find something to enjoy and that you keep this warning in mind. For those who have already zoomed on ahead, I leave my apologies.
Today’s post is over 6 months old. It’s not by a prominent wingnut. In fact, the author is someone I downright worship and whose other work I cannot recommend more strongly. It’s not some obvious complete failure of empathy like Richard Dawkins’s horrifying defense of child rape. In fact the focus of the post is kind of esoteric and might be a little inside baseball. In complete honesty, it’s not even that egregious of a fuck up really, more an example of how everyone can trip over themselves and be a complete dick every once in a while.
And on top of all that, when I say I worship her, I don’t just mean that I think she’s a good author and done great works, I mean she has my undying gratitude and is possibly my strongest modern heroine. Not only is her seminal work “Whipping Girl”, in my opinion, one of the best works on the subject of transwomen and one of the best trans* non-fiction books ever written and my personal go-to when pointing people to resources on understanding trans* issues (to the point where I usually own three copies at any given time so I can have one on the shelf, one for heavy referencing, and one for loaning out), but… It’s the work that finally junk-punched through my self-denial and got me to accept the obvious truth my brain had been trying to tell me for awhile. Reading Whipping Girl got me to stop diminishing myself and pretending that having a butch physical body meant I wasn’t a woman. It cut through all the societal messages that emphasized transsexual as being of an exaggerated gender performance and grounded arguments in actual biology and self-reported experiences instead of off-putting semi-religious conversations about souls and spirits.
She’s the author who let me start being me and start being open and out to my loved ones about who I am and let me luck out in first exploring my identity in a space where there was strong social support and acceptance. What she provided for me with one little book, I cannot ever hope to pay back.
So why in Bob’s ever-loving spatial taint am I giving her post, the Sadly, No! treatment? When it would be so easy to just walk on past and never reference it. When it’s not that bad and I owe her so much? Read the rest of this entry »
A post about nothing in the news or boys. Just the earwig that inspired the following.
So on this, my sunday,…A somewhat navel gazing post…Please forgive and feel free to consider it an open thread…Is Provider using ellipses paranthetically, well yes he is…I ran into a conservative at breakfast, a self identified republican, who deigned to dither libertarian when I admitted to being an unabashed Marxist, in other words a decent sort, a member of the Clinton/DLC/Obama/Eisenhowerian side of the ledger (though I doubt that he would admit his existence in that continuum.) In other words, not a ratshit craze-ball.
As I was just looking for breakfast I did not push as much as I might under other circumstances. And to make this perfectly clear, I was not the one who started the discussion, well, actually, I did, in my usual fashion, asking for the sports page, sensing a genuine conviviality and after shitting about some random things, he felt comfortable enough to bring up the fact that he was a Republican.
I run into this on occasion as I tend to be, in the main, a guy who gets along easily with people and with whom people, who regardless of viewpoints, generally trust (as a result, I have on no fewer than three occasions, have had it explained to me that while a particular person might have black friends and therefore is not a racist, turn on a dime and explain that they are not OK with inter-racial marriage, which has always left me with the thought of “what do you think I am the product of?”)
My breakfast companion would probably only need a four hour course to come around to our side, rather than the 12 year remedial education focusing on Civics, History, and what it might mean to be in possession of the privilege inherent, when one, by dint of birth, finds themselves in the possession of a pale penis, than most of the petard hoisted bastards that we usually poke fun of around here.
As is my wont, I did feed food for thought, or at least, I would hope so…Though he did object to my characterization of his party as a bunch of bomb throwing, hostage taking, terrorists, (he wasn’t having any of that, though the fact that the exchange made it to that point without the spilling of blood, is telling.)
In other-words I met the very [something] model of a modern Major [Something], and by the cut of his cloth I suspect a person of middle management at a major corp, or someone near the top of the dogpile at a smallish regional situation, and speaking of dogpile, I don’t believe that I have mentioned Vera in this space…
Put the head of a chihuahua on the neck of a smallish Basset or Dachshund, lengthen the legs and neck and one would end up with one of the cutest beasts in creation. I promise pictures.
Back to which seems to be a point that I had been planning to make. The fellow in question seems to represent a member of the 13-20% that when added to the famed 27% makes it difficult for us to have nice things. The sad thing is that he actually appears to have a semblance of a brain and appears to pay a pittance of attention…We did not spend enough time together, and I was not pressing the point, but I suspect that our Major could fly anything though one of his blind-spots.
Just to prove that you all can talk about anything, I was just enjoying my post post smoke and watching a butterfly work around the margins of a fence when it occurred to me that in a previous (and possibly future) life as a lawn care specialist (Dixie Choppers Rule, save the name) that I may have taken down some four leaf clovers. At least I am pretty certain that I managed to avoid taking out any rabbit warrens…
From the comments Dragon delivers the word:
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 3, 2013 at 21:52 · Edit
OBS had an interesting link downstairs. That guy is saving $13K annually and getting better coverage – so he’s quite aware that the GOP is just plain outright lying on the ACA. He’s got obvious data staring him in the face – $35 bucks a day, 365 days a year. He knows that the Republicans are straight up full of shit on Obamacare. And yet that is the thing that the crazy-ass teatards have shut government down for.
So how does he describe himself?
I still am a very strong Republican, but this… I’m so happy that this came along
Obamacare is making a very significant improvement to his quality of life. He’s retired and living off his nest egg – possible because his mortgage and car are all paid off. He’s achieved his own slice of the American Dream – a comfortable life, free and clear. Well almost, he still had the one major monthly expense, an expense which had quadrupled over thirteen years – an 11% annual rate of increase. Obamacare has taken that worry away. Obamacare has relieved him of the threat of the $10,000 deductible. And he knows that others will see similar effects. He knows that there are people who, like him, had been grossly misinformed and outright lied to by the Grand Old Party.
Obamacare is the mortal enemy of the Republican party – something they see as an existential threat to America (as opposed to an existential threat to the greedy fuckwad mentality that has come to define them so very well). Even the non-teatard Republicans who are for ending the shutdown are only saying that because they think there are better ways to destroy Obamacare. But that guy is still self-described as “a very strong Republican.”
Why? Is it because he’s got the intellectual curiosity of a bag of rocks? Is it because he’s greedy? Is it because he’s dumb?
What’s the ask here? That we keep in mind that despite being Republicans, these people are still people? A “love the sinner but hate the sin” approach? I dunno. I mean it’s true that we all have blind spots. Getting up and out of bed every morning is an exercise of faith – one that experience ought to have taught us was hardly worthwhile. And yet here we are.
So the Republican Party has decided to bring out their chain-store bought Che Guevara/Dead Kennedys shirt and play at being a totally kickass anarchist and bring down the man, man by enacting a government shutdown over a last ditch effort to literally whine an inconvenient law (politically) into no longer being a law. Because, who fucking cares about all the people like counting on shit actually running in this country, which would be everyone when one can air out their Brooks Brothers white polo tees and play at being the rampaging hordes they piss on the other 364 days out of the year.
So of course, given this demonstration of how the Republican Party are at this point, literally a band of terroristic nihilists willing to blow up everything if they don’t get their way, no matter what the pesky people say, it’s only natural that the wingnuts would take this time to show their solidarity and support taking down the system, privileged white douchebag pretending he understands oppression style.
Cause hey, why not take the one redeeming aspect of anarchism (a recognition of the way hierarchical structures often entrench bigotry and oppression at the expense of those beneath and the way the status quo often only benefits those who have always benefitted) and just rip its spine out Mortal Kombat style so that rich white fuckwads can pretend their real-people-harming temper tantrum is some kind of principled stance against some nebulous “system”.
Some years ago I was discussing conservative health care ideas with a liberal ex-pat Brit. This was when Obamacare was just a gleam in Obama’s eye. Her comeback was that “there has to be a system.”
Yes. There in fact does need to be a system. And in the absence of a system, then systems will coalesce, often in even more abusive ways to marginalized members because they make convenient scapegoats/targets for exploitation. Just look at Somalia. Remove the “system” and it doesn’t free the people, just leaves them at the mercy of smaller more abusive systems of warlords and profiteers who use the lack of protection for their victims to institute a system where the most sociopathic and cruel win. Now, yes, systems like our own in the States or authoritarian systems around the globe reveal you can set up the same thing with rules and laws, but it’s not those rules and laws in and of themselves that are manufacturing the problem.
And with something like health care, there is always going to be a system in place. It may be shitty with you going to the local woman with the biggest herb garden who hasn’t been killed as a witch yet and begging her to treat your syphilis, but it’ll be a system. I know Chris is a robot with no need for organic health care, but us fleshy mortals are not so lucky.
Though I understand exactly why Chris and the other wingnuts only want to focus on how they made Obamacare less perfect, I mean, why it’s not flawless, I mean, why it must suck so bad and it’s a system and blah blah blah. Because it sounds way less noble when they have to mention that they are fighting to the death to keep us shackled to the current system which everybody is already more than aware sucks great big donkey balls.
I mentioned that to Lady Marjorie, who is blasting into orbit right now that her individual health insurance plan has been terminated and replaced with a plan that costs 30 percent more with higher deductibles.
It’s amazing how much they are flogging these scare stories about the scam coverages getting cancelled. Oh noes, you can’t have the health plans where you paid an insurance company money and in exchange they didn’t give you any real health coverage anymore. Oh, what has this world come to?!?
She retorted that most people think that a “big thing” like health care or education just has to be done by the government.
In other words, there has to be a system.
Well, yeah, if you want it to not suck, it can be done by the government. If you want it to completely suck, only provide reasonable service for the richest 1% and cost about a bajillion times more, then sure, open it up to the “alternatives”.
Which yes, is indeed the three-card-monte that the Republicans have been playing all along the boulevards of Fuck the Government, Individual Liberty, and Faux-Anarchism. Pretending that the government exists as an entity unto itself, both unconnected to the people who make it up, have direct power over it, and benefit from it as well as the rest of the fucking world. As if getting rid of government somehow meant that you had a spare health care just chilling in your living room fetching you brewskis.
When you remove the government, there’s a vacuum and where there’s a vacuum, the parasites descend and since they aren’t chartered to put the needs of their beneficiaries first, it ends up bad for all. We see it in America with us paying way more for our internet, electricity, health care, etc… while getting less and less in return (but making a small group of parasites very very wealthy).
Which to be fair to the right-wing ghouls, is in fact their goal as they are directly employed by said parasites to protect the scam, but still.
No there doesn’t.
Aw, you mean we can just Fuck the System and boom, the man will be gone! Whoa! Like pass the hashish bro.
And we know that liberals know this because of their professed love of Darwinian evolution.
… No, I want to see where he goes with this.
Liberals love evolution because it neuters the notion that God organized and created everything everything from scratch, that God created a top-down “system” and said that it was good.
Hierarchy uber alles!
Wow, way to fuck up your first taste of anarchism bro, worshiping the iron bootheel of a hierarchy. There’s a reason the chant goes “No Gods, No Masters!”
On the contrary, evolution by natural selection says that the living organisms that adapt best to their environment get to survive and breed successfully and the others don’t. There’s no system except the DNA and sexual reproduction, and all that is a product of evolution too.
Um, first off, no. Second off, you just noted that it’s a system. Not a terribly kind system to a species entering into an extinction event or to the individuals who end up dying off through a major environmental shift, but a system nonetheless. Which brings up third, yeah, there’s a reason why “social Darwinism”, that brain-dead conservative fart bubble of an “idea” has always been a rancid excuse for greed and lack of empathy rather than an actual “philosophy”.
Letting people die because you don’t understand what “fittest” means in an evolutionary biological capacity (hint: it doesn’t mean the species or individuals that are the “best” succeed) is not how we want to emulate our system, especially if said people we are leaving out in the cold are sentient enough to notice that they are literally being left out to die.
That sort of no-hope, you might as well go down swinging shit is what brings out the real anarchy and revolutions that make rich douchebags living large on the protections of the system break out into a cold sweat.
But health care without a system? That’s Social Darwinism! That means leaving the poor and the helpless to go without! There’s no hope of getting affordable health care without a system, a government system run by large-minded liberals and their expert-led supporters.
This is correct. Without a system to deliver healthcare, then most will go without and die of easily preventable diseases.
Thank you for correctly identifying the problem.
(Watch him deliver absolutely no rebuttal of this in the paragraphs to follow)
So Obama created Obamacare and said that it was good.
And Obama is rival God, aka the Antichrist dog whistle quotient fulfilled. Check.
This would normally be the point to insert stuff about the Smith’s Invisible Hand, Burke’s “sophisters, economists, and calculators,” Spencer’s idea of society as an unconscious organism, Mises on prices, Hayek on bureaucracy, public choice, famines under socialism. Settled science, don’t you know.
MAKING ARGUMENTS IS HARD!
But Daniel Henninger makes the point that facts and theories don’t matter when it comes to political ideas like Obamacare.
An established political idea is like a vampire. Facts, opinions, votes, garlic: Nothing can make it die.
But there is one thing that can kill an established political idea. It will die if the public that embraced it abandons it.
Uh huh, yup. Totes impossible to end an established political idea, yup. Which is why we are still a royal colony of Britain, segregation and slavery are still the law of the land in the South, women are still legally chattel, it is still legal to beat one’s wives and property (including children) if they prove uppity, and fags and trannies are still imprisoned when they are caught out in their mockeries of all mighty Jesus.
Or maybe it’s fucking hard as shit and leaves it’s share of corpses and battered lives in the road, but people aren’t actually at the mercy of entrenched status quo but can actually resist with a revolution of thought turning to revolution of deeds turning to revolution of ideas to revolution of laws. Which, yeah, would be where I tend to have respect for anarchism, real anarchism, for generally being pretty damn good at the beginning, where all one sees is a fucked up system and people just sort of accepting it because “what are you going to do”, and calling that shit out and taking the first punches to allow others to really start going “oh yeah, that system really is fucked up, ain’t it?”
Good try Danny boy, but I got a better one. It comes from NYT science editor Nicholas Wade in his Faith Instinct, a book all about religion considered as natural selection. He writes:
Gods die when people no longer worship them.
Man, the existence of atheists in HIS PERFECT WORLD is just burning his chaps, ain’t it? Yeah, good luck with that anarchistic movement when you can’t even get through a single fucking post without itching to bust heads with the power of a coercive state.
Since we are full of Darwin today, I think we can include the secular gods in this maxim too. Marxism will die when people stop worshipping Marx.
Should I tell him, or do you want to?
Big government will die when people stop worshipping the system.
All you gotta do is take down the man, man, and then all the shit gets better.
Psst, Chris, there’s a reason no one likes that douchebag. Hint, it’s not because he’s so right and his parents and friends just don’t understand him.
But there is another way that the world changes. It’s when people just give up. Here is the incomparable Willa Cather describing in Death Comes to the Archbishop the Navajos giving up after Kit Carson had invaded their tribal sanctuary, the Canyon de Chelly.
Carson followed them down into the hidden world between those towering walls of red sandstone, destroyed their stores, laid waste to their deep-sheltered corn-fields, cut down the terraced peach orchards to dear to them. When they saw all that was sacred to them laid waste, the Navajos lost heart. They did not surrender, they simply ceased to fight, and were taken.
You can see what is going on right now in the Obamacare wars.
Some racist ass myth about the Native Americans deserving their subjugation and the repeated lies and broken deals we threw their way because they supposedly “gave up” on themselves does not fucking say anything, much less anything about your sad little self-serving crusade to deny the scary black man any “wins” and prevent Democrats from improving society in ways that could negatively affect the ability of Republicans to reliably steal elections in the future.
Sane people are giving up on your crusade and viewing you as exactly the same sore losers who have spent the last 150 years trying to refight the treasonous war you lost in no uncertain terms, because it’s a pointless fucking fight willing to sacrifice lives for no more noble reason than to aid election prospects for a gang of thieves and sociopaths.
You want to rip off the bandaids, “start” the Obamacare Wars you’ve been losing for the last four years and blame it on the middle class? And then whine when people notice that the quagmire ain’t bringing the boys back home? Well, sorry, Sally, but no.
You decided to ruin everyone’s lives shutting everyone’s lives down because once again you don’t have the self-respect to admit that you’ve lost, again. That’s not nobility, that’s not surrender, that’s acceptance.
What you are doing is the same reality denial shit you’ve been trying to pull ever since the first peasant said “hey, fuck this oppression shit”.
The Democrats are telling us that resistance is futile: it’s the Law, etc.
Yes, the war is over, and your entrenched band of neo-nazis is still pretending the German Panzers are right over the hill to bail your asses out.
Why not just give up, you extremist anarchist Republicans?
A damn good question seeing as how nobody, and I mean nobody asked you to destroy our country to prevent the barest of incremental changes from having the tiniest of impacts.
And the Republican establishment seems to be going along, offering merely mild objections.
Which is why they’ve gone all in on Operation Give the Anarchist a Cigarette.
But Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is offering an alternative. That is the strategic meaning of his tactically meaningless non-filibuster. He is saying “Nuts!” He is proposing to lead conservatives and Republicans out of the land of Egypt into the Promised Land. He is saying that we have not yet begun to fight. He is suggesting that with Obamacare the Democrats have gone a bridge too far, and that now is the time to strike back. He is calling on us “boldly [to] outdare / The dangers of the time.”
So… wait, you’re actually admitting that your religious heroes were anarchist rabble-rousers (Jesus was a terrorist)? Huh. Wasn’t expecting that.
For this is our creed, the creed of the People of the Responsible Self. There can be no system for us, for free men and women, because system is domination.
This reminds me of that brand of douchebag faux-anarchists who say that we shouldn’t fight hierarchical oppressions because recognizing hierarchies exist is acknowledging a system of division and “anarchists don’t believe in systems, man” so of course the white rich men who just want to rebel against their parents should lead over the black trans* lesbian with the history of actual political success and scars from the front lines.
We responsible individuals, joined in voluntary cooperation under a limited government, make and unmake such systems as we want and need according to our responsibilities to ourselves and to our families and to society at large.
And do you know what that is called, kiddies?
You ignorant mark!
And we know that “system” is an illusion, for life on this planet Earth is a ceaseless effort to adapt to its challenges and its changes. There is no fixed and immutable system except in the Hereafter.
You just can’t have heaven on earth.
Hey, remember that joke I posted about giving a man a fish and then giving a man a bible from a couple of posts ago?
Apparently, it wasn’t satire, enough.
Overall, though, fuck the goddamn anarchist for sale shtick. I mean, the one good thing anarchists have going for them is that they are, for the most part, empathetic people who try and stand up for the lowliest, most downtrodden fuckers and take stands against the most seemingly overpowering systems. They are often the front line in moving something from an intractable system to something that bigots find themselves clinging to as it slowly fades away. The beginnings of movements such as disability rights, worker’s rights, women’s rights, queer rights, all began often with anarchists being the only ones willing to speak up.
Remove all that and you just have the fundamental problem with the goals of anarchism. What to do after the revolution. If you shut it all down, what next?
And sadly, we know that answer all too well and we see it again with this form of totalitarianism minority rule trying to pose as anarchism. Shutting down the system because everybody didn’t let you get your way even though you lost in the hopes that enough “little” people will suffer, entrenching old broken hierarchies with underhanded tactics and attempts to spoil anything the minority could win. These are the painful lessons that train the next generation of snarky anarchist bastards who take no shit.
And if the Republicans want to rally to that A flag like it somehow makes them the real true rebels, then fuck them and their brand of “anarchism”.
I’ll be down in the pit rocking out to Laura Jane Grace.
Lakisha Briggs was a 34-year-old single mom living in the suburbs of Philadelphia in subsidized rental housing. Her boyfriend had attacked her repeatedly in her home, and the police had been called on several occasions to intervene—10 times in the first five months of 2012 alone, according to her legal filings. But because an ordinance in Norristown, Pa., says that a tenant who makes three 911 calls within four months can be evicted and that tenant’s landlord could have his or her rental license suspended.
Blink, blink, blink, blink……………………….In what fucking world is it a crime to call the police in an emergency (Bob forgive one should suffer more than one a month), and what could be the motivation to threaten unrelated parties with a potential lack of income. What fashion of Authoritarian Asshattery might imagine that the following would pass Constitutional muster:
But because an ordinance in Norristown, Pa., says that a tenant who makes three 911 calls within four months can be evicted and that tenant’s landlord could have his or her rental license suspended.
If you wrapped a coil of wire around my head and stuffed a bunch of magnets in my mouth, I could charge at least a dozen cell phones right now.
(Me thinks it time to gather some demographic information on the states of things in Norristown…Initial information places it as a Northern suburb or Borough of Philadelphia and a cursory glance at the city website would suggest that it is a white friendly paradise (not that there is anything particularly worng with that, wrong probably, but not worng) however, the latest census states that the breakdown is 40% white, 35% black and that between 1970 and 1990 the city lost nearly 8 thousand residents (the latter fact might be attributed to white flight if I were a betting man.)
Briggs did not call the police on the night of June 23, 2012, when the same boyfriend hit her in the head with a glass ashtray then stabbed her in the neck with a piece of broken glass. The police had already warned her that she was on her third strike after their last visit. So she didn’t make the call and—just before she passed out—Briggs begged a neighbor not to do so on her behalf.
The neighbor did call the cops, and Briggs was airlifted to a nearby trauma center. The boyfriend went to prison for the assault. Then police served Briggs’ landlord with a notice that said if she and her 3-year-old weren’t evicted within 10 days, he’d lose his rental license. [emphasis mine] Meet the new face of disorderly conduct.
Blink, blink, blink…Mind blown…Blink, blink, blink…There are days, (9 out of ten) when if offered by a Genie three wishes, they would be predicated on making the world a better place. Then there are days like today, which when faced with something that confounds my inner cynic in such a way that I might be inclined to wish that the world be cleansed of humanity as to make room for whatever sentience might follow in the fullness of time.
Norristown Municipal Code § 245-3 states that landlords are responsible for “disorderly behavior” by tenants currently in their rental units, as well as tenants’ family members and guests. Under the ordinance, disorderly behavior includes “domestic disturbances that do not require that a mandatory arrest be made.”
You know with all the foreign scienamatists we’ve been trotting out for the last week or so, I feel we are losing focus on our home-grown nutjobs and fuckheads. I mean, what have they been up to in all that time?
Answer? Not much. You can tell, in the subject matter that there is an ounce of recognition that maybe, just maybe, screaming like crazed baboons about how you’re never ever going to let this shitty society get even the tiniest bit better might, just might look a little bad to the general public. And there’s even some dawning realization that going further and further into a deluded world of conspiracy theories and where guns and corporations are the only real people is not going to make white people magically pop out of the aether and thus make the Southern Strategy viable again.
But beyond that, they’re completely lost. They have the tribal identity, the proper tribal hatreds and rich sugar daddies willing to fund them as long as they stroke that head real slow like Daddy wants, but after that…
So they’ve been mostly throwing up chaff, demanding Obama be impeached because, well, Clinton being impeached over bullshit seemed to help Bush get elected and they’re hoping that at least that magic lightning will strike twice. Jumping from one random made-up outrage to the next and trying to work Benghazi as if it was personally directed by Obama in order to make the CIA look like the incompetent fools they are.
And while it may be amusing to watch wingnuts literally running around like chickens with their heads cut off, I feel today’s shorters cover the more important question of where exactly the fuck they go from here.
Isn’t it interesting that the only time we’re willing to give Africans full credit for their self-actualization is when we tsk tsk them about their backwards morality compared to our recently enlightened asses? As if finishing the race after the kid we tripped and then shanked is some sort of incredibly accomplishment made possible only through our inherent superiority.
Ah Africa, the poor dog strapped to the roof of our proverbial Western World SUV. Whether it’s colonization, enslavement, exploitation, destruction of cultures, medical experimentation, or being used as ground zero for all sorts of insane economic or religious experiments based on what the most fucked-up areality wingnuts can brew up, it can seem like the continent can’t ever seem to catch a full break and self-actualization will always be cut short by racists desperate to “prove the inferiority” of its people by sabotaging any attempts to grow and approach the 21st century while mocking how “genetically” backwards they are.
Which is all well and good, but in our defense, they are very black. And clearly such noble savages from the Dark Continent couldn’t possibly manage to say, founded civilizations, invent brain surgery robots, produce great explorers, great artists, amazing modern musicians, or great mathematicians without the gentle benign racism of white people “helping” them out.
I mean, after all, there’s an old super white proverb that goes:
Give a man a fish and he’ll become a hippie communist freeloader. Teach a man to fish and he’ll steal a job from a white person. But give a man a bible and trample him under its brutal oppression and he’ll die and go to a better place. Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Bob, they’re asexually multiplying and not in the fun way.
Which honestly just baffles me. I mean, who looks at Bruce Daniel Blatt, poster child to internalized homophobia and self-loathing and goes “gosh, I really want to cover his lazy ass and assure that the glorious mission of ensuring that life sucks for people exactly like me continues unabated”?
That being said… I’m not entirely sure new whipping boy Kurt is as invested in creative self-destruction as the other two embarrassments to homosexuality.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Man, wouldn’t it be great if conservatives knocked off this homophobia shit so I could feel fully comfortable supporting them in their war against brown and poor people instead of pissing on myself out of a sense of tribal loyalty to people who despise me for the way I was born. I mean, they wouldn’t have to try too fucking hard, just claim credit for the work of liberals or eeling away on a technicality like they’ve been doing with the civil rights movement and then I could cheer for things that affect my life personally without worrying about my fellow conservatives tearing me apart for being a secret socialist.
See, back in the day, when I was just a wee pup of a Cerberus, I really fucking loved Richard Dawkins. Cause, see, way back when, my two strongest passions were biology and writing. So when I first stumbled on the Selfish Gene, an actually well-written biology book that was accessible, informative, interesting, and not the usual watered-down mess or unnecessarily dry and esoteric tome, it was like finding the Holy Grail. It still to this day remains a favored non-fiction book, and certainly near the top of my favorite biology-specific non-fiction books.
Now of course, he’s become way more famous as an atheist (he was the author of The God Delusion) and certainly he had his place in making me an even more god-forsaken heathen than I already was (Hail Satan!). Well, him and Iron Maiden, but heck, I’m willing to throw him a small little bone before I throw him on the sacrificial altar with the goat head accent piece.
So why is he receiving the special dagger reserved only for wingnuts, if he was someone I once respected?
Well, the key is in the past tense there, because see, Richard Dawkins is quickly trying to make a new type of name for himself. A name as a complete reprehensible fuck. I mean, let’s be frank, he always was a bit of a pompous asshole, but these days, he’s been doing his part alongside the various Ayn Rand fetishists to prove that just lacking conservative religion doesn’t make one any less prone to bending at the knees before the holy cross of Stupid Fucking Arguments.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
You kids today, with your newfangled morals, calling child molestation rape just because it involves the rape of children. Why back in my day, we all accepted rape and harassment as our daily bread and we liked it just fine. It never did none of us no damage, not until those uppity feminazis started getting people to talk about things. Also, P.S. the only time I’ll defend religion is to defend the poor Catholic Church who are being pilloried by “modern morals” over such a little thing like raping children for the better part of a century (likely much much longer) while covering it up. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal.
You know who we haven’t checked in on in awhile? Richard Cohen. I mean, he was every back in the day, coming up with elaborate justifications for torture and all sorts of other inhumane projects. But of course, that was back in the day when the security fascist state was being run by white people and before all the neocons started being buried in the closet less they give away the game on the faux outrage machine about Obama’s “unique” transgressions.
And I mean, you just can’t manage the same level of complete inhumanity and what the fuckery on such a sparse budget, right? Right? Um… why are you just staring at me?
Not on the title, no, we’ll get back to that particular flavor of what the fuck in a second. No, rather it’s the fact that once again I have three separate pieces of dumbassery on the same subject which all deserve the same level of vitriol-encrusted smackdown. I mean, my posts are long enough, can I really start a possible trend of extending them even further? By embarking down this road, do I risk eventually drowning in my own effluence? A never ending river of half-muttered rage and poorly worded shit jokes?
… Eh. Worse fates, I suppose. And I’ve already got the river boat ready to travel, so let’s dive in.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Children! Sex Education! This will make great fodder for our perpetual outrage machine! We just need to make sure we throw out as many dog whistles as possible, not mention what the program actually does, throw up an image of children from before the last church picnic before Father McWanderingHands got to them, and most of all, avoid covering that we have the same reaction to all forms of sex education, because we like to pretend that if we don’t talk about it, it never happens.
You might want to pace yourselves on this one. It’s a bit of a long haul. And keep in mind that I’M saying that.
I hope you all realize you’ve ruined me. Sure, you thought you might have done me a favor by bailing me out of a bad spot and flooding my poor ego with well-wishes, but all you’ve done is completely destroy me.
Because see, you’ve shown with your compassion and your aid that the world is filled with wonderful and compassionate people, and well… that’s just it. I’m so happy right now that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write anything ever again for the site. All that carefully honed cynicism, bitter resignment, and of course the fires of my rage that stoke the whole half-cracked boiler might as well be a million miles away.
How can I possibly continue delivering the epic smackdowns when all I’m feeling is gratitude and love? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to recreate it, but I’ll take a float down the backwaters of Outer Wingnutistan just for old time’s sake, just to see.
Hee hee, that’s just cute. I mean, is there a single pro-gay-rights decision or dramatic coming out that the “proud gay conservatives” at Gay Patriot haven’t straight-up minimized or argued were meaningless or worthless or secretly bad for “true gay people”?
I mean, do you see how you’ve destroyed me?!? I can’t even manage half a shit to give about the dismissive treatment of her name. Fuck… Let’s try the next bend.
Oh Joseph Farah, you and your gay porn moustache are so silly… So what’s this one about?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
The fact that a prominent subject of a national conversation and the highlight of major news story is trans* is literally destroying this nation. We will not be able to continue with this knowledge added to us. Also, this is what happens when you let queers join the military, even though he joined when we were still banning queers and… fuck you logic!
Meh. I mean, I understand it is deeply fucked up, but it just doesn’t unlock the portal to the Dimension of Venom where I get my post ideas like it used to…
I’m just going to have to accept that I’m washed up and finished. Hanging up my hat while still in my prime. I’m sorry, all, but your generosity has put an end to my…
Subtitle: Pronouns and delusions do not trump biology.
That familiar taste of bile rising in my throat. That way my eye twitches. And the subject matter is so promising, with the ignorance not just being ignorant, but intentionally ignorant. Straight up celebrating in its triumphalist denialism. All from a guy who tried to argue that having manly sperm will give you more male sons.
But the fear remains, will the post be stupid enough to match the impressively awful title?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Trans* People are a literally mythic invention by feminists and hippies.
How cool am I that I can take a dump on the fiftieth anniversary of the
march on Washington by not only denigrating the topics covered by the speeches, but by
punctuating my dump with a gunshot. /rimshot /fuk you libs /low fives all around…
And on to Howard Kurtz. Actually, fuck him, lets pull a comment:
RioBravoHombre Fed up Fed
• 6 hours ago
He’s worried about revealing attire? Has he seen the Foxtitutes and their
Ailes’ uniform of fuck-me heels, and lowcut microminis?
Foxtitutes, Imma gonna have to steal that one.
Next we will take a look at something that CRA brought to my attention in the previous thread,
which while I have yet to get through promises to be rich vein of Wigger Gold
The President is a Nigger. I suggested that we shoot the Nigger, because the Nigger is not
even a real Amercian, but my suggestion that we shoot the non Amercian Nigger was not a threat, I was just blowing
Which is to say that the original article that I was exposed to from CRA’s link put paid to the ruse:
…and you’re left with maybe the perfect example of what many, myself included, don’t think is a caricature of the Tea Party movement
This is what they are: a whole slew of white resentment, ignorance and hate.
I would only add that missing from the description is the predilection for the protection of Privilege, which in my mind
Is the foundation of Wiggerism™
Or rather, I have all the words. When I wrote my last post, asking for help in the fallout of a number of kicks to the teeth that we’ve suffered this year, I felt like shit. My financial future was looking bleak, my emotional situation was worse. I felt like a failure.
You guys and gals and genderqueers and fluberts waving your implanted tentacles. You all reduced me to a bawling baby. So much love. So quickly. So UTTERLY beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. I’m humbled. I’m beyond humbled, reduced to serfdom (oh wait that was capitalism’s fault), by your generosity.
I’m not only fine for this next month, but quite a few ahead. I might even be able to relax and actually give myself some time to start a few things I thought I wouldn’t even be able to think about for another year at least.
Things might be turning around and you, you beautiful, lovely, amazing readers are responsible. I know I’m not the only one who’s hit a grave patch, but those who’ve given what they could, even if it was a couple of bucks. You’ve all helped me out more than words can say.
I know I’m rambling. And I know that I’m repeating myself, but wow. Just WOW!
The funny will definitely resume shortly. I’m currently trying to track down a good bit of wingnuttery to use for Chelsea Manning’s long belated public coming out. But I wanted to take the time to thank every last one of you who put in something to help.
You all know who you are. And you know how very much I appreciate what you’ve done. What you’ve taken from yourselves so that I could… It means so, so much. It has touched me. Reduced me bawling on the floor in joy (hey, novel feeling, right on). Hell, even as I write this now, things are starting to get blurry with the mist in my eyes.
YOU ARE ALL ROCKSTARS!
I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT.
P.S. My cobloggers insisted I add this to the end.
If you want to email me directly or want to send me snail-mail aid, I can send that to you through my email at cerberussadlyno AT gmail DOT com so that’s also a way for those who want to help further (please do not feel obligated to help further).
And also at their behest (because extra money is good or something, I dunno, it was something about capitalism and accepting help when it comes):
Here’s the link to throw in an extra few books if you want (again, no obligation):
Again, don’t feel you have to. Plenty of people have and WOW. Again, just wow! I love you all so very very much.
Sigh… this may very well be the hardest post I’ve ever tried to write for this site. Not necessarily the hardest post I’ll ever try and write for the site (I’ve got something in mind later that might just eclipse this one), but that’s neither here nor there.
Back on topic, the thing is… I don’t really take to charity easily. It’s just the sort of person I am. I overpay my taxes. I’ll ride a catastrophe curve for a few months. I’ll go without eating for a bit. It’s not out of some individualist bullshit about bootstraps and the pulling thereof or some moral opposition to charity, but rather probably a low sense of self-preservation. I don’t like to be a burden and if I can muddle through I will.
And well, there’s that operative word, “if i can“.
Those of you who have followed this blog and have been my loyal readers probably know that this last year has been… shall we say “fun” for the Cerberus household?
There was the transphobic discrimination that not only threw me out of a job I loved and gave me scars that I promise to emotionally process when I have the time (after the Apocalypse looks free), but also completely drained what meager savings I and my partner had due to their slashing of my hours.
There was the disowning from my family members which cost me a source of familial love, emotional support, and Bob damn I feel like a villain for even mentioning this, but a financial safety net when things got uncomfortably tight. And losing that net meant I couldn’t ever again miss a step.
And hey, not to continue the pity party without stop, I’ve done all right. I have multiple jobs and have had them since pretty soon after I lost the big one and they almost pay my side of the bills.
All things being stable, the Cerberus household might not have missed a step. All things being stable, being the operative phrase.
Unfortunately, my partner’s job decided to dick her around. Maybe it had to do with her being an out queer person or being masculine in behavior in a more feminine office environment. Maybe it didn’t. I dunno, not worth speculating.
But the end result was that they bullied her out of a job, delivering a long series of emotional abuse and impossible standards that when met were regarded with “I dunno, you might still fail me in the future, so I’m going to disregard all of your hard work”. And delivering her one last fuck you out the door by promising her a severance package to buy her a few months to find employment and then not actually delivering it or responding to phone calls or emails about it.
So what does that all mean?
I’m broke. And might be homeless or at least out of a way to pay my bills pretty soon.
And I know. I feel like shit about doing this. About… asking for help from readers who just want to see me rip the throat out of some racist nutbar with a Napoleon Complex and a vocabulary rented out on the cheap as a wind-down from the shit going on in their lives. We all have shit that we’re dealing with and I know that I’m not the only one on the edge of financial or emotional collapse. I get that.
But nonetheless I’m here, because you’re what I got. If you can help, great. If you can’t, that’s cool too. I’m just sorry I couldn’t somehow prevent this post from ever being written. I feel like by writing this post I’m breaking some big rule I should have set for myself. But it’s here now.
Oh, birthers. So… you may be forgiven in thinking that the men upstairs would be having some gentle words downwards to op-dray the irther-bay it-shay now that the re-election of Obama has come to pass and it only serves to show the conservatives’ ass end to the world. And you’d be right. They are trying to stopper up the genie they’ve unleashed and running into the fundamental problem of all right-wing conspiracy theories.
They. Never. End. Still, nearly 20 years later, you get nutjobs whingeing about how Clinton used his secret Satanist mind-control powers to force a bunch of holy religious zealots to try and kill all their kids by setting their own treehouse on fire. Or the various crap about LBJ or FDR being secret communists or their being secret communist infiltrations everywhere responsible for everything progressive ever. Hell, some of them have been recycling old conspiracy theories about how women never had the mental capacity to handle voting or anything Progressive from the 20s. And the less said about the “War of Northern Aggression”, the better.
So, of course the nutbars allowed to run free and keep the Anti-christ Hunters all hot and bothered are still adding to their rich tapestry of denied reality where Obama and his time machine is responsible for everything bad in the last 60 years or beyond. Because he’s black and President and Vampire President for Unlife Robert E. Lee wouldn’t agree to that without secret commie Satanist brainwashing and if he we can just make him illegitimate maybe he’ll go away and stop forcing us to accept his existence and therefore the existence of black people in positions of power.
Needless to say, the strain is making them a little… shall we say, more obvious than usual.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Nuh uh, nope, no way. He’s black therefore couldn’t have been born. I don’t care that his birth certificate is googleable and has been for years. I am a skeptic and therefore I always deny the evidence of my own fucking eyes. And besides everyone is in on it. You saw. He’s hiding how black he was cause how could he have been elected if everyone could see he was black! It’s a fix, I tell you! A FIX!
Which, okay yeah, on the surface of it looks pretty bad. We here at Sadly, No! pride ourselves in bringing back only the freshest mangos (okay, fine, reasonably fresh, like from the last month tops) from our bi or tridaily safaris into the Heart of Darkness. So what gives?
Has the laziness endemic to our profession finally collapsed to the point where we’re quoting things from the Pleistocene era because we cannot even bother to pretend to keep abreast of the continuous stream of diarrhea that the right-wing calls a river (honestly, I’ve been mostly sending robots for the last year at least)?
Well, okay, yes, but I swear this has nothing to do with that.
See, it all began with this tweet by resident National Review shithead Charles C. W. Cooke Esq. (previously highlighted on this site arguing that contraceptives for people with vaginas must be easy to acquire because he could get some free condoms from liberal sex health services the wingnuts were trying to shut down) made yesterday (See? Ha! Within the last century, score one for me):
Why is "gay conversion therapy" so terrible that it must be banned but physical sex-change operations not? Seems a bizarre double-standard.
So, apparently, I owe Jeff from last post a bit of an apology.
See, what I didn’t know at the time of Jeff’s bizarre attempt at playing “gotcha” with a satire news site was that his post was part of the new marching orders that have apparently trickled down the various ranks of Team Fucknuts to respond to Obama’s recent calling out of Vladimir Putin on his supervillain style attempts to criminalize any means for homosexuals to protest their government by basically changing their long standing rants about how Obama is evil for being too close to Putin to how Obama is evil for daring to argue against glorious conservative Putin and why doesn’t he bomb Middle Eastern countries for being homophobic.
Which I guess is the new attempted liberal-baiting justification for war now that “standing up for the rights of women in the Middle East” is universally accepted as the cruel joke it has always been.
So given the focus it’s no surprise that our old muslim-fearing friend Pamela Geller would be itching to-
Can’t say it’s happening to a more deserving waste of human flesh.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
WAH! Obama’s not allowed to criticize the foreign dickweasel we’ve suddenly decided is ours because he hates the fags unless he criticizes these other foreign dickweasels we claim to hate because they hate the fags… I don’t know why the stupid liberals aren’t buying it. Don’t they care about gay rights?
You know who we haven’t looked in on in a while? Our good friend, B. Daniel Blatt, America’s Dumbest Homosexual™.
And well, I really should. When last we left our dear old love letter to self-hating minorities, he seemed to be on the edge. When he wasn’t bitter that a direct expansion of his rights were forcing forcing, I say, him to write some dismissive blather about how inferior it was to his failed attempt to try and write a book. Well, he was trying to start the saddest radio show in the history of man or sending cries for help disguised as vacation updates.
And well, it seems that the strain of being ol Brucey has gotten to the point that he’s mostly retired to the sidelines to let some new failure who goes by the oh-so-not-compensating for things handle of Jeff (ILoveCapitalism) (yeah, that nym handle is by far the largest thing on him).
Which brings up possibly the most important question of all.
Can Jeffy boy suck (as in being terrible, rather than the sexual act, because frankly, if any of these clowns actually did get some it might cure them of their constant unending hatred for all their kin. Though, I wouldn’t wish that fate on any gay, bi, pan, or allsexual man on the planet) as much as the King?
Only one way to find out.
Shorter* (or the last port before Jungle):
I’m going to try and play a bizarre form of gotcha with a comedy website. I’m sure I’ll definitely come out ahead here… Ah, how could I have lost!
Timothy Birdnow’s life seems to entirely consist of making various conspiracy theory graphics and blaming everything in his life on liberals. Clearly there has never been a more potent source of raw machismo on the planet!
Maybe I’m a bad American (yes, indubitably), but there is nothing funnier to me than the desperate macho culture surrounding Rugby with Pads. I mean, I guess, I can almost understand obsessive sports fan cultures in general (I mean for fuck’s sake FC Midtjylland, do you have to alternate every season between nearly winning a championship and nearly getting yourselves relegated, ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!? Lucky game scarf carry me through this next season)… You know, just a little.
It’s just the bizarre attempts by complete schlubs who try and pretend that the grueling practice of sitting down on a soft couch and watching some heavily padded professional athletes play a game that would have smaller scorelines than either baseball or association football (boom, I get my cake and I eat it too) if they didn’t artificially inflate the scores is somehow equivalent to hunting down a triceratops and decapitating it with your teeth.
Maybe it’s because my history with sports fandom has mostly circled around European football, which clearly is completely pussy seeing as how gay families and trannies can feel safe in the stands watching it, or, in my youth, baseball, which must be gay because occasionally pitchers are good enough to keep games close.
Or maybe it’s because I’m not an insecure devotee of toxic masculinity so desperate to avoid anything even remotely feminine that I weep in the middle of the night utterly terrified that evil liberals might pussify the one thing one can brag about at the water cooler without actually having to do something so terrifying as leave one’s house (THERE MIGHT BE BROWN PEOPLE OUT THERE!).
And on that note:
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Liberals are fagging up the ALL-AMERICAN BLOODSPORT of FOOBAAL! by caring about pussy issues like whether the players I claim to love and support can play the game at 100% and don’t have their careers cut short by stupid avoidable injuries that can have life-long debilitating effects. I mean, what’s more important? Whether the players can walk in their old age or remember their children’s names in their thirties? Or whether or not I can still get a hard-on over how much of a man I am for watching grown men bend over each other and then wrestle each other to the ground? I mean, honestly! Also, because my usual stock in trade is bizarre conspiracy theories, this is cornerstone of the liberal enfagification of America.
From the Last Refuge which will remain a source of laughs for some time into the future as long as writing like the following prospers there. I would like to share the first sentences of some recent posts over there:
This post merely outlines the supporting trail of evidence to follow-up on the original post. Due to prior post length this independent update needed for intellectual absorption.
Then again, now that I think about it, the “We are Trayvon” catch phrase probably does attach aptly to most of the group claiming such a descriptive as their commonality.