At least we know what matters

Greetings dear readers. Nearly 30 hours without a post — and already the little people (i.e. Frederick) are complaining in the comments. What have we done with our usual frenetic pace? The monsters must be fed. And so we show up on this rainy Saturday evening to throw a bone hoping to calm down the masses.

Being Germany-based, we’ve developed an interest in other blogs written by non-Germans living here. One such outfit is here. It seemed interesting in the beginning — though we figured that anyone who refers to Captain Stratego (Steven Den Beste) as “The Best” could obviously not be relied on for too much. Back in November the author offered her response to “typical” pro-Europe arguments, countering each with an interesting mix of nonsense and evidence that doesn’t support her “arguments.” [Why yes, Andrew Sullivan is on her blogroll, why do you ask?] Being immune to irony, the author concluded her post with a shot at “Europhiles” who “often make irresponsible generalizations[.]” And you know there’s no better way to counter that than to offer misinformed, inaccurate “observations” about Europe. But we digress.

Like all good Bush supporters, Sarah as she’s known has been somewhat disappointed by some of Bush’s policies. To wit:

And I’ve tried to defend him and disregard some really big bloopers he’s had lately, like with illegal aliens and lots of government spending and (in my own opinion) the Marriage Amendment.

Yet these are mere bloopers dear friends — like a 400 500 a lot of fucking money medicare bill. Bloopers you see. So what is the big problem?

Tell me this isn’t true. What is he thinking? Fifteen to twenty million dollars for the arts? When we’re running such a huge deficit? Oh man. I can’t even begin to justify that one to myself. I’m just crushed.

$20 million dollars. And she’s crushed! This reminds us of our latest award-winning game, The Real Scandal Pronouncement!

Never mind trillion dollar tax cuts, the $200 billion war, the [insert large number here] medicare bill — the real scandal is an extra $20 million for the NEA.

Remind us again why conservatives believe we should take their fiscal conservatism seriously?

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The Besides That? Game Returns!

GOP Wake-Up Call

Besides the fact that Republican presidents accumulate record-setting deficits every time they are in office, the GOP truly is the party of fiscal discipline.

Rules of the game can be found here.

Our new and completely awesome game, the Real Scandal Pronouncement?, is here. A prize is involved.

And now, time for a bit of masochism:

Besides the fact that the Sadly, No! blog’s sole output for today appears to consist of little more than recycled jokes of dubious quality, it’s totally awesome.

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Yo mofos, are you feeling safer?

Condi Rice reports:

The administration sought to put the blame for any intelligence gaps on looters and former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, whom National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice said was so secretive that “he allowed the world to continue to wonder” what weapons he still had. [...]

But the world “will never know fully” the extent of Iraq’s weapons programs because documents and evidence were lost during the looting that took place when Saddam’s regime collapsed, she said in an interview on ABC’s morning news program.

Rice said the administration wants to get all the facts to compare what the White House thought would be found in Iraq and what was actually found.

“Nobody will want to know better and more about what we found when we got to Iraq than this president and the administration,” she said. [laughter]

Whatever the outcome, Rice said the administration would not change its position that Saddam had to go.

“The judgment is going to be the same: This is a dangerous man in a dangerous part of the world and it was time to do something about this threat,” she said. [Emphasis and snark added]

How do you pose a threat with no fucking weapons Condi? Is this the best Stanford can offer the world?

Let us help:

Never mind the TV, have you tried reading that Sadly, No! blog recently?

L. Brent Bozell III (personal motto: we’re gonna keep making L. Brent Bozells until we get one that doesn’t like like a cross between Montreal Expos mascot Youppi and Dr. Zaius) is mad — and he’s not gonna take it anymore.

Why you wonder? Let him tell you:

I represent the Parents Television Council’s 850,000 members, along with untold millions of parents who, like me, are disgusted, revolted, fed up, horrified — I don’t know how to underscore this enough — by the raw sewage, ultra violence, graphic sex, and raunchy language that is flooding into our living rooms night and day.

And that’s just from watching The View! But it’s not all:

Consider the following, which aired on an NBC special this past May at 8:00 – during the so-called Family Hour. In this scene, Dana Carvey appears as one of his old Saturday Night Live characters, “Church Lady,” to talk to former child star Macaulay Culkin about his sleepovers with Michael Jackson.

Church Lady: “Did he ever dangle anything in front of you at the sleepovers?” Culkin: “Dangle what?” Church Lady: “Oh, I don’t know. Say, his ‘happy man loaf’? ?

Well, who here hasn’t dangled his happy man loaf? Ann Coulter does it all the time. Anything else Mr. L?

I am a father of five who has spent twenty five years trying to shield my children from offensive messages coming across the airwaves I own. God willing, I’ll be a grandfather some day.

Hmmm, on that one you may want to call not on God but on a little bit of sex education so that the little ones have some idea of what doing the nasty, getting it on, doing some horizontal folk dancing, getting their jollies, the horizontal mambo — well, so they know what all of that means.

Thanks to Jesus’ General for the link.

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Who else could use a cigarette?

According to Rush, we collectively creamed our pants on this side of the aisle:

Today’s great Wall Street Journal editorial says in its headline: “Anti-Bush Partisans Aren’t Listening to What David Kay is Saying.” Democrats are having orgasms over the Chief U.S. Weapons Inspector’s appearance before the Select Committee on Intelligence on his search for Saddam’s WMDs. They ignore Kay’s rejection of their claim that Bush lied to take the nation to war for oil, and his important statement that the intelligence community failed the president. [Orgasm inducing emphasis added]

Please also see our brand new game: The Real Scandal Pronouncement? (or scroll down a bit, assuming your hands aren’t otherwise occupied.)

Thanks to Blair for the hand job link.

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I don’t know nothin’, ok?

Richard “The 21st Century’s Tricky Dick” Perle is in the news again:

Pentagon adviser Richard N. Perle, a strong advocate of war against Iraq, spoke last weekend at a charity event that U.S. officials say may have had ties to an alleged terrorist group seeking to topple the Iranian government and backed by Saddam Hussein. [...]

Read the rest of this entry »

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Well, it’s Thursday…

…and I just wanna dance, dance, dance! and that means it’s time for a brand new game here at Sadly, No! Enterprises Ltd AG GmbH.

Are you ready? (Frederick raises his hand.) Well, here we go. After our earlier popular endeavors like The Besides That? Syndrome we are proud to introduce:

The Real Scandal Pronouncement!? Inspired by many of our conservative friends, the object of the game is to trivialize something important (ideally criminal) and then announce that the more serious issue is this other, rather unsurprising and fairly minor development. Let’s take today’s Wall Street Journal to get things started.

Forget the fact that Republican Senate staffers illegally accessed opposition memos for several months, the real scandal? is that Democrats tried to block a few of President Bush’s judicial nominees.

Ever so reliable InstaHack offered this gem last year:

Forget the fact that the Bush administration included a claim it had every reason to know was bogus in the 2003 State of the Union speech, the real scandal is that Joe Wilson doesn’t completely agree with Richard Perle’s views.

Random conservative pundit on the intelligence used to justify the war:

Forget that the US has spent $200bn war on a war of aggression that’s killed hundreds of coalition soldiers and thousands of Iraqis, the real scandal is that Bill Clinton also thought Iraq had WMD.

And now… add your own version in the comments. Winner gets a shrink wrapped copy of Go Simpsonic with The Simpsons.

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That Sandy Berger, what a crazy dude!

The Snarky Cat links to this Foreign Policy story on the foreign policy advisors of the major Democratic presidential candidates (and Joe Lieberman’s.)

The most popular are:

This post goes out to a special young man…

World O’Crap introduces a new feature, called You Asked for It!

And the first post is dedicated to us! ::blush::

Has Amber ever dedicated a column in this manner? Sadly, No!

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That’s not what my conservative manual says!

Via World O’Crap, the true nature of The Corner is revealed:

A PARTICULARLY ARRESTING SIMILE (THOUGH NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN) [Peter Robinson ]
From a reader who had joined the fray over Operation Barbarossa: “Only on the Corner can penguins falling over share space with whether it was the Luftwaffe or wet roads held that up the German invasion of Russia. It’s kind of like being on a long car trip with some heavily stoned Rhodes Scholars.” [Emphasis added]

Rhodes Scholars… Rhodes Scholars… Didn’t someone warn us about them recently? Ah yes, our man Andrew Sullivan:

Rhodes scholars are among the most irritating mediocrities on earth

and:

they are mega-losers, curriculum-vitae fetishists, with huge ambition and no concept of what to do with it.

So there you go boys and girls: Reading The Corner is kind of like a long car trip with a bunch of mega-losers, curriculum-vitae fetishists, who are also the most irritating mediocrities on the planet.

Alert the media: We agree with Andrew Sullivan!

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George Helen is getting upset!

You can keep asking me, and I’m gonna keep not answering, ok? Scott “Gathering Bullshit” McClellan shows his skills:

MR. McCLELLAN: Dr. Kay did a great job working on the Iraq Survey Group. We very much appreciate his service. It’s difficult work. But he has pointed out that they need to complete their work.

Q Are you saying that still — you still expect weapons to be found, when the President, the Vice President, Powell and so forth have basically written that off?

MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, I think I’ve addressed this question over the last couple of days. What we know is that Saddam Hussein’s regime was a gathering threat. And in a post —

Q I didn’t ask you that —

MR. McCLELLAN: I understand, but I’m coming to your question. In a post-September 11th world, it’s important that we confront those threats before it’s too late —

Q What were his threats? Has he ever threatened us? [Emphasis added]

Scott later added, “David Kay did a fabulous job you know.”

Bonus points:

MR. McCLELLAN: Thank you, Helen. We have already reconfirmed that it was the right decision to remove Saddam Hussein from power.

Q Who said so?

MR. McCLELLAN: The world — I think a lot of people say so. The world is a safer and better place —

A lot of people. Boo-yah!

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Look you jerk, don’t forward this post ok?

Sadly, No! reader Frederick (he who is an expert on the part of the male anatomy that cannot be named) sends us this email:

The Best Chain Letter I have ever received – read on:

Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000?

Read the rest of this entry »

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Not even The Pope can help you out on this one

We’ve written about the lies of the Wall Street Journal editorial page in the past, but today brings yet another serving of an often repeated, thoroughly debunked, claim:

And not just the CIA. Believers included the U.N., whose inspectors were tossed out of Iraq after they had recorded huge stockpiles after the Gulf War. [Emphasis added]

The WSJ editors don’t say when Iraq “tossed out” UN inspectors. Perhaps, one guesses, because Iraq never did. Iraq’s cooperation with the inspection regime was deficient, obstruction was typical, deceptions abounded, attempts to hide were plentiful, etc, etc… But did Iraq ever “toss out” UN weapons inspectors? Sadly, No!

War on Terror Ally (WOTA) Britain provides a comprehensive history of the UN inspections and assorted resolutions here. Under the heading “Withdrawal of the Inspectors, it writes:

15. By the end of 1998 UNSCOM was in direct confrontation with the Iraqi Government which was refusing to co-operate. The US and the UK had made clear that anything short of full co-operation would make military action unavoidable. Richard Butler was requested to report to the UN Security Council in December 1998 and stated that, following a series of direct confrontations, coupled with the systematic refusal by Iraq to co-operate, UNSCOM was no longer able to perform its disarmament mandate. As a direct result, on December 16 the weapons inspectors were withdrawn and Operation Desert Fox was launched by the US and the UK a few hours afterwards. [Emphasis added]

Is Peggy Noonan in charge of fact checking at the WSJ?

Bonus points: Watch Robert Kagan & William Kristol repeat the lie and fuck up the time line in the process:

But one effect of Operation Desert Fox was that Saddam expelled the U.N. inspectors altogether. [The Weekly Standard, Oct. 10, 2003]

A reminder boys:

As a direct result, on December 16 the weapons inspectors were withdrawn and Operation Desert Fox was launched by the US and the UK a few hours afterwards.

FAIR has more here.

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It looks good, but do you have it in our size?

The good people at My brain is made of things made of gold (say it twice, win a prize) report on the ultimate garment for the Sullivan fan that has it all.

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That’s a bad Sadly, No! Very bad!

Amber responds to our refusal to provide her with a picture of the Sadly, No! staff:

No picture? :_-(

(8) Don’t cry for us Amber Pawlik (8)

In other news, we failed to congratulate someone earlier this week for being the 100,000th visitor to S,N! So belated congratulations to, well, someone. Informed of the milestone, a friend of S,N! replied by email:

How many of those are Amber Pawlik?

Jerks of a feather flame together we guess.

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Sadly, No! gets results!

Yesterday (at 10:26AM CET) we wrote:

Back to Andrew however: he “quotes” Krugman as arguing that tax cuts are the “entire” reason for “the deficit,” while Krugman suggests they are the “main” reason.

Today (at 6:14AM CET) Andrew Sullivan writes:

CORRECTION: In tackling Krugman, I committed an error of hyperbole. I wrote that he had said that the “entire reason” for the deficit was tax cuts. He said the “main reason.” He did, however, omit any reference to the vast increase in discretionary domestic spending under Bush.

In other words: I was wrong but I’ll add what I think is a Krugman error to move the cheese just a little bit further.

Hello Andrew.

Update: Donald Luskin corrects Sullivan but adds that Krugman lied:

But now he’s [Sullivan] made another error of hyperbole in the opposite direction, adding “He did, however, omit any reference to the vast increase in discretionary domestic spending under Bush.” Au contraire. Krugman certainly did not “omit any reference.” He made many references, all of which were lies… [Italics in the original]

Update 2: Calpundit also gets results.

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Now that you mention it

A WorldNetDaily reader writes in with a simple question:

Did it ever occur to you that Bush is who the Lord wants in office at this time?

Hmmmm…

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The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere

As posted by World O’Crap, in the comments for this post:

The Central Tenets of the Blogosphere:

1. Don’t write under an alias, because it would hinder your efforts to gain credibility by bragging about your days as a real journalist.

2. Don’t read what you link to — even if it could prevent you from making misstatements about said linked item — because it only wastes your valuable time.
3. Keep your readers in suspense by changing your opinion every sentence or two about whether Bush has endorsed the amendment to ban gay marriage.
4. Have frequent funding drives in which you mention how expensive it is be read by a trillion* readers a year. (* Don’t worry about providing the actual readership stats — everybody in the blogosphere lies about that kind of thing.)
5. Pout if anybody criticizes you.
6. Practice questionable sexual ethics.
7. Make fun of John Derbyshire whenever possible.

As WOC asked us, How many of those tenets do you follow?

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Oh oh, someone showed K-Lo some titties!

John “Stick Figure Men” Derbyshire links to a several months-old joke that “compares” the education system in the East and the West. He adds this warning:

Warning: some of this is PG-13.

Which is then followed by:

UPDATE: KLO GIVES THIS AN R RATING

Why? Here is the R-rated picture.

K-Lo won’t be posting anymore today in The Corner, as she will spend the rest of the afternoon trying to reach the Pope (or, if he is not available, Peggy Noonan) to confess her sins, while Rich Lowry & Jonah Goldberg will try to explain what those scary things K-Lo saw were. Please send flowers.

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Shorter Wall Street Journal Editorial

Our Border Brigades

Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to clean our homes, be our children’s nanny, cook our food, for less than the minimum wage requires.

Shorter concept inspired by busy, busy, busy from an idea by D-Squared.

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