Shorter Undifferentiated Right-Wing Chatter Machine:
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Of all the wingnuts rushing to the defense of the bloated drug-addict and radio yacker Rush Limbaugh, certainly the most entertaining instance has been watching Bob “Don’t Call Me Emmet” Tyrrell wheedle his scabrous tongue up the talk show host’s tail pipe as he does in his latest column at Clown Hall:
“Rush is the bloated face and drug-addled voice of the Republican Party,” Paul Begala is quoted as saying by The Washington Post [“Teehee” – says Tintin]. Begala is asseverating1 on Rush Limbaugh, the most popular radio commentator in the country, but alas, one who disagrees with Begala. I think it speaks volumes about Begala’s obliviousness that he would bring up physical traits in attempting to make some political point.
Of course, here at SadlyNo! it is the first fricking bullet point in our mission statement that we strive to ridicule the personal appearance of right-wing pundits, bloggers and politicians. But we certainly understand Bob’s outrage at such a juvenile tactic and are quite, quite sure he would never stoop to such a thing himself.
Has he beheld himself in a mirror lately?
Oopsie-doodle, Bob just couldn’t help himself, could he? And the first teensy crack in the dam releases a tragic flood of looksism from Bob who, we might maturely add, has obviously not beheld his own damn self in a mirror lately either.
Even friends know him as “The Skull,” owing to his cadaverous countenance. You may only have seen him on television. I have had the gruesome experience of seeing him in the flesh. We were in the makeup room being cosmeticized2 for appearances on a cable television show. The artiste3 attending to the crevices, the gullies and the bumps of Begala’s unfortunate face had to apply so much makeup to it that when he left the makeup room, it looked as though he was wearing plaster of Paris. During the ensuing debate, he may have laughed at one or two of my jokes4, or he may have frowned. It was impossible to tell. His ghoulish features were covered up completely.
Daaayum, girl. Guys don’t normally get that upset about someone else being called ugly unless, of course, its about someone they happen to be fucking at the moment. Now isn’t that a lovely image?
1Apparently “asseverate” was today’s word on Bob’s word-of-the-day calendar, and he was hell-bent on using it even though there was little that was solemn about Begala’s dig.
2Somebody has been attending classes at Pastor Swank’s Academy of Fine Writing.
3French for artist; Republican English for big old flaming fairy, as in our new interior decorator is such an artiste.
4The normal responses to Bob’s “jokes” are normally not laughter but instead are nervous twinges followed by weary exclamations of “Ohhhhh, Grampa!”
Let’s see if he notices!
The Unfairness of Reviving the Fairness Doctrine
Posted By Donald Kent Douglas On March 5, 2009[…]
The brutal truth is that the left cannot compete in the marketplace of ideas. The logical outcome of that competitive impotence is to simply remove the market mechanism itself. This is the essence of state-socialist ideological advocacy. An ideological truth — socialism — that is so frequently resisted by the slow-witted cattle of the leftosphere, is in fact being repackaged, ironically, as “robust, informed, and mature discussion” toward state violence and control of freedom of speech and commerce.
Hey again Senator. If you remember, the Alfred S. Regnery Spring Fellowship started on Monday, so we have a new gaggle of interns until June when the Carthage Foundation kids come in. They seem very bright this time! Anyway the AS Regnery Editorial Fellow is named Jennifer and your column will be her first. Go easy on her! Kidding, seriously, if you need to find me shoot me a tweet tagged #grassrootzuprising …note the spelling, Mr. Sajak said the regular way looked like “grassroot surprising” and what can I say the man knows his letters. kthxbai
PS say hi to the black guy okthxbai
——-Hi Mr. Senator, hope I did a good job with these! @jenmonster———-
Leave it to the French speakers to wonder, 2 days too late, just what that was about:
PS: Hmm, I had somehow assumed everyone would recognize 24’s CNB.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Seb adds: Bonus wanker points. Brooks writes:
The U.S. has traditionally had a relatively limited central government. But federal spending as a share of G.D.P. is zooming from its modern norm of 20 percent to an unacknowledged level somewhere far beyond.
For those living outside the paranoid-delusional universe, the level is neither unacknowledged nor far beyond. To wit (and feel free to click on the image if you lack 20/1 vision):
Yesterday’s snow storm was the occasion for one of the increasingly rare appearances at America’s Shittiest Website™ by climate-change denialist and oil-industry welfare recipient Iain Murray. So when I saw his post, I was expecting to read something like this:
Bite Me, Al Gore [Iain Murray]
Blizzard in March. Blar blar har har ffpt. Seven inches of snow in Central Park in March! Blarty blart blart blart sniff snort blar har har har eleventy-one!!! Climate change is obviously another liberal lie. Snorf snort snorf har har. Like evolution and that stupid story about the frog in the kettle. With a knick, knack paddy whack, give a wingnut a stipend!
03/02 05:05 PM
But CEI doesn’t give Iain Murray the big bucks just for plain old wingnuttery. No, they expect peak, no, epic wingnuttery, and Iain, well, he brings it home with this post responding to Kathryn Jean Lopez’s awe-struck wonder at the recent technological marvel called telecommuting.
Re: Snow Day [Iain Murray]
The simple answer, Kathryn, is that technology has successfully “disintermediated” severe weather. It’s a great example of adaptation to severe weather enabled by two things: a) innovation and b) access to affordable energy (the tech is useless without electricity and of only marginal usefulness if just the rich have access to it). So it is odd, to say the least, that climate alarmists say that if severe weather increases, we should reduce access to affordable energy…
03/02 05:05 PM
Iain thinks that by sticking in (and misusing) a big word like “disintermediated,” it won’t occur to anyone that the cost of telecommuting on your laptop for eight hours is about a nickel, or slightly more than Murray spends annually on toothpaste. The cost of energy could be increased twenty times and telecommuting would still be cheaper than the cost of actual commuting.
But, hey, what else can you expect from a guy who walks into the Hair Cuttery with a picture of Conan O’Brien and says “Make me look like him”?
The Tea Party bashers: Clueless, bitter, and wrapped in tinfoil
Michelle Malkin, March 2, 2009You know you’re on to something when the tinfoil hat conspiracists start lobbing grenades at you.
In response to the nationwide outbreak of taxpayer protests against the culture of entitlement, a loon at Playboy.com claimed that the Tea Party events this weekend were part of a grand cabal funded by something called the Koch Foundation in cahoots with CNBC’s Rick Santelli:
RICK MORAN THINKS THE “TEA PARTY” PROTESTS are amateurish and disorganized. At Playboy, on the other hand, they think they’re suspiciously well-coordinated.1 Both are right!
Of course they’re amateurish. Most of these people have never organized a protest before (hence the tendency to do things like forget bullhorns). That’s what you get at the beginning of a movement. But it’s much bigger news when 200 people with jobs who’ve never protested turn out, than when 20,000 of the usual suspects organized by ACORN or ANSWER march with preprinted signs. If this keeps up (and I think it just might) the amateurishness will fade away soon enough. Then Moran will probably complain about the loss of authenticity.
The Playboy folks, meanwhile, miss two things. One is that, as reader Miles Wilson noted, these protests predate Santelli.2 The other is that modern technology allows a bunch of people who don’t know each other to coordinate a nationwide campaign “suspiciously” well. Somebody should write a book on that subject some day.
UPDATE: Some related thoughts here.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Reader Robert Crawford writes: “I get the feeling that if the tea parties were organized by a group as far-right as ANSWER is far-left, *THAT* would be the major story.”
Trying to Deny our Grassroots Efforts
I’m going to piggyback onto my previous post about the article written about the Seattle Tea Party. Something I neglected to mention was a comment he made, in addition to a comment made by a sociologist from Eastern Illinois University.
1. From Eugenia Deerman, a sociologist who studies conservative social movements –
How grassroots the movement really is, is debatable, says Ms. Deerman at Eastern Illinois University. “I’m suspicious only because … the conservative movement has repeatedly used this tactic of creating an appearance of grassroots activism when they’re actually very well orchestrated,” she says. “It allows them to mask this ongoing ideological battle that’s super-invested in small government, low taxes, and a free market.”
2. From Dennis Mooney, a tweeter and self-described liberal, asked by TCOT to report on the Seattle Tea Party –
What’s ironic about the teaparty concept is that is was hatched up by CNBC not #tcot. After having milked their Jim Cramer “they know nothing” moment for months CNBC management needed another scripted rant to boost ratings. That twitter upstart @stocktwits had the nerve to issue a call to boycott CNBC. They needed a new champion of the average person. Rick Santelli’s name got major applause today. Their plan worked. We have a new champion for the everyday guy who does not want to pay for his neighbors extra bathroom.
So it seems that we have an attempt to discredit conservative grassroots movements, and thereby their power and sincerity, by leveling a charge of “well orchestrated” or “corporate.” It is a denial put forth in order to cool the rising passions and energy by trying to suck the life out. Let me just say this: I planned the first Porkulus Protest c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y on my own. I paid the $50 for the permit and I started emailing people. Not one GOP official, county or state, showed up or offered to help. I planned the Tea Party with the help of one other woman, again I paid the $50 for the permit, and we started emailing people. And again, not one GOP official helped. It is so insulting to insinuate that we are not an authentic, and admittedly ragtag, group of citizens that have finally had enough, and are finally willing to do something about it.
If anyone is well orchestrated it is the Moveon.org crowd that is funded by billionaire George Soros. It seems to me that she not so much studies conservative social movements as sits at home and postulates about them. I challenge her to actually come speak with some of us to see how far removed we are from any sort of official machinery, but I know it’s a scary world outside that ivory tower.
Notes:
1- The notorious Mark Ames and Yasha Levine article is no longer available at the Playboy link, but can be seen at Exiled Online under the alternate title, “Exposing The Rightwing PR Machine: Is CNBC’s Rick Santelli Sucking Koch?“
2- The ‘porkulus’ protest in Seattle was announced on February 10th and happened on February 16th, and is in both respects the first of the stimulus protests. (Rick Santelli’s spaz on CNBC took place on the 19th.) A second Seattle protest followed on February 27th that was similarly, but not identically organized.
