Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month’s newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
I noticed libs that every single one of the victims in those photos were white, so your analogy, though very close, still falls short. The birds in question represent the NCAAP, Al Sharpton, affirmative action wing of the Democrat Party stealing from white society. That the seagulls themselves are white is only central to my point. And of course we know the ice cream represents the myth of global warming, while the cones are the consequence of free gay abortions your Obamessiah wants to shove into all our hands.
Trolling for pun material about seagulls, I found an awesome new tern, ahem, term: kleptoparasitism. I’m half inclined to sneak a joke about wingnut welfare onto that Wikipedia page.
The birds were trained by the weight loss center these people joined. You should see the pictures of the exercise classes, in which the staff releases tigers to motivate slackers to keep running.
Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you’re the cause of all this. I think you’re evil! EVIL!
I know this won’t be popular amongst people who are probably mostly animal lovers, but I’d be beating the shit out of those filthy creatures if I could possibly manage it (they do have the advantage of flight to consider). Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
You should read the aticle J__ linked above @0:38.
Well, I did say the gulls had the advantage, after all. What I’m trying to figure out is why that guy was cited for hitting the gull. Sounds to me like he reacted instinctively. Also, I was somewhat influenced in my reaction because one of the photos D. Aristophanes links to is of a young kid.
This sort of thing shocks me. I don’t understand what can make someone think a relatively plain creature like the seagull is any more or less disgusting than, say, the Crested Felching Snotpuddle.
Never tried it, though I admit I’m intrigued. I guess I’ve always been put off by the fact that they’re carrion birds that basically eat garbage. But then, what we feed livestock, chickens, etc. ain’t exactly haute cuisine either.
All of them birds are gulls. Calling the site “birds stealing ice cream” is tarring and feathering all avians with the same brush. I am literally puffin with poutrage.
Having those fuckers steal my food as a kid being one of my earliest memories, it’s hard making this work as a metaphor…I”m trying though….fucking gulls, that was MY corndog, you fuckers!
Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
Great Lakes region dwellers are probably looking back in fondness at the days when ring-billed gulls were everywhere. Looking past the stinking toxic puddles of double crested cormorant shit that is.
I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why, if that happened, we wouldn’t stand a chance! How could we possibly hope to fight them?
I know this won’t be popular amongst people who are probably mostly animal lovers, but I’d be beating the shit out of those filthy creatures if I could possibly manage it (they do have the advantage of flight to consider).
Although I am admittedly of the cuddly-n-cute variety of animal lover (impure scum, I know), I had the exact same reaction.
It’s like how I yell at my dog and chase her when she steals my shoe, only without violence. Just because I like animals doesn’t mean I like this particular animal doing a particular thing to me, namely stealing that other great love of mine, food.
The just go around with those…CRESTS. Showing up at parties and ice cream stealing events all crested.
Honestly, we need to see if we can get a petition going to extend the hunting season on Crested Felching Snotpuddles while reducing or eliminating it for us good, honest, NON-Crested AMERICAN Felching Snotpuddles…
Been trying for an hour to pun on Archeopteryx, but it ain’t happening.
Your wish is my (more than a little contrived) command.
I heard that a certain Cthulusexual whos 4 that 1 likes extensions in hair, I guess you could call him ArkyOptsHairEx’s
Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.
Thanks for the link, Lawnguylander, brings back memories, and no, I am not Dennis MacNamara. Hell, I am not even Ben Manila. You should listen to WFDU on Saturdays. Ghosty (Sat 9AM-Sun 1AM) interviewed Malibu Sue a few months ago.
Hey Big Bad, Lawnguy and any other 80s alternative/new wave fans out there:
This forum currently has posted links to a bunch of air checks from WLIR/WDRE and other similar-type formats from other markets in the country. Ghosty is actually one of the regs on that board.
Thanks, handy. I have actually navigated over there from time to time over the years. Poor Ghosty, he lost his job at a satellite radio station a couple of weeks ago. He really comes across as a hell of a nice guy, so I hope things work out for him.
“Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.”
Don’t worry, I’ll give you and all the other welfare leeches (car companies, unions, etc) all the free money you want! I just have to check with our Chinese bankers first…
What I meant to say is that because our great captains of industry overpaid white guys at Bank of America decided they wanted to eat shitty assets buy Merrill Lynch, they are crawling to Washington D.C. for another hand-out bail-out.
Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
I just couldn’t believe that until I tried looking it up. WTF, like 3/4 of states that have official beverages – it’s milk. Fucking dairy farmer lobby.
Seriously, my dear Mr. Wangchuck. Even the dough-brains at my local “newspaper”‘s web site were braying about how the dairy lobby must surely have heavily financed the campaign of the goober who rammed this through. Hey, if that were the worst thing our legislators did it’d be fine by me. {deep shuddering sigh, indicating that such is unfortunately not the case}
I’d also like to pause at this moment and praise all current commenters for refraining from feeding the you-know-what(s). Excellent! Refreshingly marvelous. Never underestimate the power of a pun thread to repel the unwanted.
See how much better passive pwnage is? Ignoring the droppings is the best possible way to deal.
Too bad you were too stupid to notice (as always…back in 1987, Treasury yields spiked well before the stock market movers and shakers, protected as they were by “portfolio insurance”, caught on.
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
Don’t these clowns have any imagination?
Nobody picked that watered down piss that Americans call “beer” – nobody picked Mountain Dew Code Red depite the sponsorship offers – nobody picked the tears of innocent children…
Moxie was said to cure ailments ranging from softening of the brain to “loss of manhood.” In 1884, it was sold in carbonated form and merchandised as an invigorating drink, which claimed to endow the drinker with “spunk”.[4]
Fucking New York’s official state beverage is milk. MILK FOR FUCKS SAKE!
What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey? What about the tears of innocent children Red Sox fans? What about that watered down piss you’re supposed to drink with Buffalo Wings? What the hell is it about milk?
There’s this asian coffee beverage thing where they drip brew this super-strong espresso-like stuff right into a glass with sweetened condensed milk in it. Sometimes it’s served with ice. Normally I like my coffee with just coffee in it – but this stuff is way better than a kick in the pants.
The outrageous health claims put forth by the patent medicine and soft drink manufacturers led to the creation of the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906.
Check out the first photo here, of the Moxie Mobile. Even the Goddamn Batman would look on it and feel a pang of jealousy.
I stock up on Moxie every time I go up to Maine, and still have a six-pack left in the fridge. It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid. It’s flavored with purple gentian root, which lends it a distinctly bitter aftertaste.
What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey?
Hell, DKW, an Egg Cream would be preferable to milk… and ditto on the espresso with sweetened condensed milk. I stock up on cans of Magnolia in the summer for just that purpose.
It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid.
Is it anything like chinotto? Dragon-King lurves hisself some Brio with his pizza. Mmm mmm yum.
I used to have a bunch of vietnamese techs (woulda been mid ’90s). They would take me to these little restaurants and Pho houses over around Tully in San Jose. And “desert” was “vietnamese Coffee” (pronounced “veenamese coffee”). It was exactly what you describe. They bring out this little drip pot and set it on top of your glass and you leave it to brew and drip while you eat. DARK French Roast.
Then, when you’re done eating, you put the sweetened condensed milk in it and GODDAM is it delicious. And potent. Your scalp crawls while you rocknroll thru the afternoon…
That’s the stuff. You slowly make your way through a bowl of Pho as big as your head, slurping noodles and shovelling the raw beef to the side so it doesn’t overcook. Mysterious hunks of goo that the restaurant calls “tendon” floating around. Totally amazing unless they put cilantro in it.
And then the coffee. With the sweet and thick and dark and yum. That. Is. The. Stuff.
(Crowded, boisterous political assembly) “Mistah speaker!” (The speaker bangs his gavel and calls the hall to order) “MIStah Speakerrr! The del-e-gates from Crouton County pro-posssse that the GRRREAT state of Mon-TANA adopt as its OH-ficial beverage the CLEAR and SPARK-ling TEARS of INNN-o-cent CHIL-drun!!!” (Hundreds of delegates jumping to their feet, loud cheers, banging gavel, pandemonium)
If a troll were to make its usual points about Jena 6 and Prop 8 and S. Africa and the impending Black take-over of America USING A SERIES OF AVIAN PUNS then one might feel obliged to engage and even applaud said troll.
I have another question for you libs. Why do you think Obambi is such a socialist?
And my second question to all you libs is: Why do I have strange dreams about large sausages being shoved into my ass when I go to sleep after seeing negro basketball players on TV?
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis. Large financial institutions with shaky balance sheets such as Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Bank of America that received government bailouts are contrasted with smaller regional banks that have soundly withstood the financial slowdown. Weak car makers General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler are contrasted with non-unionized car manufacturers such as Toyota, Honda, and Volkswagen. In both of these instances, the “worker,” more efficient companies bear the strong possibility of being more heavily taxed and regulated by the government while the “looter” companies receive monetary assistance from the government.
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis. Large financial institutions with shaky balance sheets such as Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Bank of America that received government bailouts are contrasted with smaller regional banks that have soundly withstood the financial slowdown. Weak car makers General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler are contrasted with non-unionized car manufacturers such as Toyota, Honda, and Volkswagen. In both of these instances, the “worker,” more efficient companies bear the strong possibility of being more heavily taxed and regulated by the government while the “looter” companies receive monetary assistance from the government.
Interesting, but I didn’t any avian puns. So, FAIL.
The barman says “Why the long face?”, so they eat him.
Perusing the TV guide we find: “Maul in the Family” Archaeopteryx Bunker and his wife Edith muddle through their annual migration to Europe, where Archaeopteryx manages to upset everyone he meets, so he eats them.
We’re King in Rush’s America. After he becomes the official head of the RNC every republican will be required to bugger at least 5 boys and become even more of a drug addict than they already are.
Head out of an afternoon to the hill country. Grab yer shotgun from the Land Rover and walk up near the tank. Shoot the little fuckers as they fly in*. Double kills score bonus points (bonus points aint good for shit, ‘cept for arguin who’s got most of em). After ya shoot twenty or so of the little shits, pull a beer from the cooler and bs fer a while.
Head for home and toss the birds in the garage. Next day, rip the breasts out of ’em. They aint nuttin to a dove but the breast meat so jes turn on the hose and rip those out of em and toss em in a bowl or somethin.
Dry the cleaned breasts and season with salt, pepper and a dash of cayenne. Toss a few tablespoons butter into a 2 inch deep pan and bring to medium heat. Add the birds and cook slowly for several minutes – don’t brown them, just cook gently. Remove the meat to a bowl and cover with foil. Increase heat to medium high, add another dollop of butter or oil and and some quartered button mushrooms. Big plus if you can toss in a handful of “wild” shrooms too – shitake and chanterelle are good, morels would be fantastic. Saute the shrooms until they exude their juices. Add some chopped onion and crushed garlic, cook until softened. Add some dry white wine (dry french vermouth is my go-to bottle) to deglaze. Return dove meat to pan. Add some nic herbs like rosemary, thyme, savory, whatever you like. Herbes de provence is perfect. Add a cup or two of meat stock and bring just to a gentle simmer. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for an hour or so. Add one cup heavy cream and increase heat to gentle boil. Reduce slightly. Garni and serve.
*It’s kind of like shooting trap knowing when a target is about to be available. Most people cal it “dove hunting” but I always referred to it as “dove shooting” which seemed more accurate.
At least Rush gave us some lotion for our sore asses after he was through with us. But it was more sore from irritation than from invasive injury since his wee-wee is indeed very wee.
For children, a woman;
For pleasure, a boy;
But for Rush Limbaugh, one jar of Viagra, another of Oxycontin, a tube of AstroGlide, three twelve year old boys, a large sack of White Castle wolf cookies, a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, a few cigars, and a ride home.
Seagulls are not only disgusting, filthy creatures, they’re mean. Everyone in Seattle has a scary gull-encounter story to tell.
Still, I really miss waking up early in the morning on Pill Hill in Seattle, and lying there in the quiet listening to the gulls crying down by the Sound. We have lake gulls here but it ain’t the same . . .
Making a good pun is a real feather in the cap, but I’ll sparrow you the bad puns. I do think we should preserve eagality between good and bad puns. Even talonted folks can make a bad one now and then, and it’s said that even a wingnut may soar like he’s never soared before, sometimes. At least, that’s what Ashcroft says.
PeeJ, you got a thing going on with the Vermouth and the Herbs de Province.
It’s like a signature.
I do much the same with quail, but I do it a little more carefully. You can gut ’em and pluck ’em and get the breasts, the legs and the thighs (mmm, DARK meat). I like to do a REAL rustic polenta with the quail, along with some kind of quick bread like Soda bread or Biscuits.
Wilted spinach salad with a hot bacon vinaigrette is pretty much the perfect counterpoint…
I didn’t have a name for this stuff so my boyfriend’s friend named it the Mother of All Turdstarters. It is. Make sure to get a big glass of milk.
Ingredients:
1 least weasel, restlessly crisped
1 cup mature Gouda
1 hopeful baby gouda, alliteratively buttered
3 ounces angry mudminnow skull
5 jiggers maple syrup
1 can coffee
Lustfully grease a cookie sheet. Separate least weasel thorax from liver. Discard liver. Use a food processor to mix the baby gouda with the mature Gouda. Drip resulting potion over the least weasel. Dry – very onwards – the mudminnow skull, maple syrup, and the coffee. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 120 hours. Serves 6.
“Only once the liver is gone does the toad realise it’s been attacked. It puffs itself up as a natural defence mechanism. But since it doesn’t have a diaphragm or ribs, without the liver there is nothing to hold the rest of its organs in. The lungs stretch out of all proportion and rip; the rest of the organs simply expel themselves.”
Is this meant to be some sort of metaphor for the Republican party?
At the same time that milk was designated Tennessee’s state beverage, agate became the official state mineral. Whoever once postulated that the glorious border state’s representatives did not act in their constituents’ best interests was clearly WRONG, for what could ever be more important than this?
We’re just trying to distract people from our mis-handling of the economy, massive deficits, and broken campaign promises Karl. Can’t you please please PLEASE provide us with a show trial to distract the proles?
Laws are for Democrats, not for Fatcat Republicans. Dems can’t touch me or they might get some anthrax mysteriously mailed to them, have their plane crash, or commit suicide.
I never cared about the stock markets when The Chimperor was prez Now that O is prez I find that I can’t stop obsessing about debentures even though I know financial instruments don’t represent the whole economy. Please shoot me Mr. Cheney, so that I might know again the simple peace of Republican off-budget accounting.
Pill Hill in Seattle
I need to investigate this appellation. There’s a Pill Hill in Portland, I am unaware of all Seattle traditions.
mikey,
Yeah, the Herbs de P is pretty much my stock in trade. I like to mix my own. I go a little heavy on the lavender and like to use savory in the mix. Summer savory is a hugely underappreciated herb.
The vermouth thing I got from St. Julia but it was strongly reinforced by noted Fat Lady Clarissa Dickson Wright. I keep two bottles on hand at all times. (Noilly Pratt is the only one to use) One in the liquor cabinet, one next to the range. Clarissa, an alcoholic, said she used it because she had no temptation to drink it, it was only good for cooking. Any time a recipe calls for dry white wine, vermouth works perfectly. Sometimes, exquisitely well.
Obama said that America would leave Iraq in 16 months and during the campaign the Republicans claimed he wouldn’t EVER do it, he couldn’t EVER leave Iraq. Now Obama says its going to take 19 months to leave. Doesn’t that just piss you libs off? Doesn’t it make you livid that it might take 3 more months? Weren’t the Republicans correct when we said he was lying because we said he would NEVER leave Iraq? Aren’t you furious? How about now?
Pill Hill is more or less First Hill, PeeJ. It’s nicknamed Pill Hill because there are like three medical centers in the area. A good friend of mine lives right by Swedish. It’s a great place to live, except I always joke that when it’s icy she could walk out to the street, slip, and wind up in the Sound. That is some hilly shit around that neighborhood.
I miss Seattle. I’ll have to listen to Lanegan’s Pill Hill Serenade before I go to bed.
We couldn’t help ourselves when we make our plans to bankrupt America.
Really, we can’t. Since Republicans naturally hate America, we want to destroy it. And we always get soooooo close but then some lousy effective Democrat Preisdent has to get elected and set back our plans to end America.
Obama said that America would leave Iraq in 16 months and during the campaign the Republicans claimed he wouldn’t EVER do it, he couldn’t EVER leave Iraq. Now Obama says its going to take 19 months to leave. Doesn’t that just piss you libs off? Doesn’t it make you livid that it might take 3 more months? Weren’t the Republicans correct when we said he was lying because we said he would NEVER leave Iraq? Aren’t you furious? How about now?
Limbaugh, whose Octomom-like ubiquity is ensured some significant extension thanks to his use of the term “Butt Boy”
Jake Tapper is the one guy who’s outside the buttboy bubble – RushiePoo
Um, Rush, you old fat queen? That’s “bubble butt boy.” Christ, had you come out of your massive closet you’d know these very basic things. If you had any class or larnin, you’d use the corrsct word, that being “callipygian.” In contrast to your own steatopygean pilonidalist cysteanism.
Greg Rutter’s Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You’re a Loser or Old or Something http://www.youshouldhaveseenthis.com/
Nothing wrong w/ being mature, & staying away from the rat race. I’ve experienced half that crap on telebision. Wait a minute, that makes me really old & a loser.
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.
Many observers have also noticed that “Atlas Shrugs” bears a striking resemblance to a novel written many years earlier:
The 1922 novel The Driver by Garet Garrett tells the story of an entrepreneur, who, through his own vision and work ethic, takes over a failing railway, turning it into a hugely productive and profitable asset for the benefit of himself and the rest of the nation. Unable to see what he has achieved in turning his own business and the wider economy around from recession to boom, and blinded by the intense wealth and power he leads as a result, the general population and government turn against him, ultimately destroying him instead of celebrating his success. There is speculation on whether the work had any influence on Rand’s depiction of Galt in Atlas Shrugged or if it was simply coincidence.[2] In The Driver, the central character is Henry Galt, whereas in Atlas Shrugged the main character is John Galt. In The Driver, at one point, the question is asked “Who is Henry Galt?”. In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand made this a major theme of her book, as many central and peripheral characters ask the question “Who is John Galt?”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Galt
Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be more irresponsible not to.
Good Morning all! You know what they say about the early bird. Mmm worms.
OT (like that’s even possible at this point) – as much as I think that Paul Begala is a huge seething mass of Village idiocy, I gotta say the “All praise Rush” meme is pretty solid. And it’s nice to see the Dem insiders on the offense. This piece of snark is pretty sweet – although it’s also kinda funny that the best hit the Dems have scored in such a long time is an apology.
I think this Rush thing is brilliant. He’s their mouthpiece for sick and twisted stuff, and when called on it, they fall all over themselves saying, “He’s a radio shock jock! He’s an entertainer!”
I have two birds. My Cockatoo hates anything cold. He will not touch fruit or veggies that have been in the fridge until they warm to room temperature. My Indian Ringneck loves cold food. Even though she always has an ample supply of fresh water she much prefers the ice water that’s in my glass. And she’s absolutely crazy for ice cream! She can recognize the sound of a scoop dipping into ice cream from three rooms away. She would probably eat a whole quart in one sitting and explode if I let her. But the real fun is when both birds are around when I’m eating ice cream. The Ringneck will happily pig out and the Cockatoo will watch till he decides there must be something good he is missing and tries the ice cream. He will then shake his head and spray ice cream about the place, look indignant and wipe his beak on my shirt. Of course he will try again with same results over and over. In fact he’s kinda like a wingnut, he just doesn’t learn.
…and then blogging about how unfair the “redistribution of wealth” will be.
This will ruffle some feathers.
It’s really for their own good. At least half those people look like they shouldn’t be eating ice cream in the first place.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month’s newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
To be a truly accurate metaphor the photoessay would need to follow up with the birds taking enormous shits on the heads of their victims.
Oh my God, look at those Mentos!
Do they drink my milkshake?
Those people had it coming. They erned it.
They’re stealing, they didn’t even erne that ice cream!
too late for my puns!
Froley, you’re too gullible.
Loneoak, Take from the fat and lazy, then bundle the proceeds into SIVs and drop them on the skinny and lazy!
I just wonder if they get bird-brainfreeze…
mikey
I blame it on the repeal of the Glass-Seagull Act.
I blame it on the repeal of the Glass-Seagull Act.
FTW!
Tax cuts increase ravenues
Now you’re just sniping.
Is this a case of robin the poor?
It’s your tern.
They are birds os-prey.
Wingnut welfare is the great tit at which they all suckle
They ran all night and day, but couldn’t get away.
smee
those gulls are obviously illegals
If I was were one of those people I wood duck.
illegulls, sorry.
Those birds are WHITE.
This oughta be good.
Heermann’s Gulls steal fish from Brown Pelican’s pouches.
Buddy, can you sparrow dime for an ice cream cone?
I noticed libs that every single one of the victims in those photos were white, so your analogy, though very close, still falls short. The birds in question represent the NCAAP, Al Sharpton, affirmative action wing of the Democrat Party stealing from white society. That the seagulls themselves are white is only central to my point. And of course we know the ice cream represents the myth of global warming, while the cones are the consequence of free gay abortions your Obamessiah wants to shove into all our hands.
Count your blessings. At least those fuckin’ badgers can’t fly.
The blackbirds are waiting for their moment to arrive.
Wingnuts put crushed glass in their ice cream cones.
This thread rocs.
I drink it! I drink it up!
Now we’re really skua-ed!
Sad story of ice-creaming-stealing gull in the OC.
Poor Johnathan. He tried to make a living, son but the seagulls took all he owned.
Quit grousing about the damn ice cream.
And the sad part is, the gulls just hawk it up later.
Tern the other cheek etc
Trolling for pun material about seagulls, I found an awesome new tern, ahem, term: kleptoparasitism. I’m half inclined to sneak a joke about wingnut welfare onto that Wikipedia page.
Yeah. You can see them puffin along. They look like a bunch of grouses anyway.
Oh, the price of petrel etc
The birds were trained by the weight loss center these people joined. You should see the pictures of the exercise classes, in which the staff releases tigers to motivate slackers to keep running.
Never eat ice cream around seagulls. Cardinal rule.
They got the booby prize.
I’m sure they’re egretting their snack decision now.
Those poor people were just rooked into providing ice cream.
Sad story of ice-creaming-stealing gull in the OC.
Did it make you blue, J–?
What the f-auk!!!!!!1!
in which the staff releases tigers to motivate slackers to keep running.
The Biggest Loser: Extreme Edition
I expect the slowest guy would be the biggest loser.
what a bunch of dodos
Peej has already grabbed owl the good puns.
This is all leading up to the Looks-like-you-blew-a-seal joke, right?
The Birds is a classic conservative movie. Discuss.
Oh well, the moa the merrier.
Photo credit must go to gannet, etc
Peej has already grabbed owl the good puns.
I’m just being an old coot.
I’m not bittern but I’ll make this my swan song.
And that’s a bad behavior to emu-late.
Ice cream: sauce for the goose.
Wouldja look at the boobies etc
Many Sadlynaughts speak a form of pigeon English.
Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you’re the cause of all this. I think you’re evil! EVIL!
It’s the end of the world.
Fancy a shag, etc
Heron Sadly, No! we do tend to make fowl puns.
This thread has really flown south and gone to the birds.
Did it make you blue, J–?
A bittern, although this line made me grackle:
“…and Djuric, who had been defecated on…”
Caption: “Brother, can you sparrow a scoop?”
Hey that’s me! Right there in the cloaca!
“…and Djuric, who had been defecated on…”
Not exactly something to crow about.
The Birds is a classic conservative movie. Discuss.
The movie makes a teal-eological argument, positing the existence of a vengeful God.
What a bunch of flocking arseholes.
I’ve been pecking away with little success so I’ll just wing it then.
So, what’s the flap about? Why’s everyone flying into a frenzy? It won’t make any difference, willet?
I know this won’t be popular amongst people who are probably mostly animal lovers, but I’d be beating the shit out of those filthy creatures if I could possibly manage it (they do have the advantage of flight to consider). Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
So, what’s the flap about?
Nothing much. Just the same old snark mixed in with trolls parroting RW talking points.
Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
Yeah – makes me a bit upset that they’re the state bird here in Utah.
Me,
You should read the aticle J__ linked above @0:38.
Yeah – makes me a bit upset that they’re the state bird here in Utah.
I had to look this up because I couldn’t believe, but it’s true: the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.
You should read the aticle J__ linked above @0:38.
Well, I did say the gulls had the advantage, after all. What I’m trying to figure out is why that guy was cited for hitting the gull. Sounds to me like he reacted instinctively. Also, I was somewhat influenced in my reaction because one of the photos D. Aristophanes links to is of a young kid.
This sort of thing shocks me. I don’t understand what can make someone think a relatively plain creature like the seagull is any more or less disgusting than, say, the Crested Felching Snotpuddle.
…the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.
That’s nothing. Mississippi’s official vegetable is the French fry.
Seriously, seagulls are
disgustingdelicious.Maybe a food-blog posting is in order…
Crested Felching Snotpuddle
Which is, by the way, the state bird of Galt’s Gulch.
Never tried it, though I admit I’m intrigued. I guess I’ve always been put off by the fact that they’re carrion birds that basically eat garbage. But then, what we feed livestock, chickens, etc. ain’t exactly haute cuisine either.
The now-ubiquitous Herring Gull was almost hunted to extinction in the early 20th century.
Hmmm… maybe the fashion for plumed hats needs to be revived.
I don’t approve of seagulls pulling shenanigans like this in broad daylight. Or kestrel maneuvers in the dark.
Al batross my argument with cherry-picked data.
Been trying for an hour to pun on Archeopteryx, but it ain’t happening.
All of them birds are gulls. Calling the site “birds stealing ice cream” is tarring and feathering all avians with the same brush. I am literally puffin with poutrage.
Incidentally RB won this thread at 0:36.
I have faith! Keep working!
Never tried it, though I admit I’m intrigued. I guess I’ve always been put off by the fact that they’re carrion birds that basically eat garbage
Hey, catfish is delish, but a bottom feeder.
Lawnguylander, were you a WLIR (moment of silence…) listener?
Having those fuckers steal my food as a kid being one of my earliest memories, it’s hard making this work as a metaphor…I”m trying though….fucking gulls, that was MY corndog, you fuckers!
Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
Great Lakes region dwellers are probably looking back in fondness at the days when ring-billed gulls were everywhere. Looking past the stinking toxic puddles of double crested cormorant shit that is.
DKW, there you go with your cormo-rant again.
the official state bird of Utah is the California gull. Go figure.
And suddenly that whole prop 8 thing begins to make more sense.
And suddenly that whole prop 8 thing begins to make more sense.
Are you saying the California gulls in Utah want to get gay-married?
Down, down, down I go….
HOPE ‘N CHANGE!
I have never known birds of different species to flock together. The very concept is unimaginable. Why, if that happened, we wouldn’t stand a chance! How could we possibly hope to fight them?
Although I am admittedly of the cuddly-n-cute variety of animal lover (impure scum, I know), I had the exact same reaction.
It’s like how I yell at my dog and chase her when she steals my shoe, only without violence. Just because I like animals doesn’t mean I like this particular animal doing a particular thing to me, namely stealing that other great love of mine, food.
Are you saying the California gulls in Utah want to get gay-married?
Once again, Rick Santorum proves to be one prescient motherfucker.
Next up: man–on–Crested Felching Snotpuddle action.
Ice cream! Get your tutsi-frutsi ice cream!
Ahh, it’s Bodega Bay-lout all over again.
Yer right about that, my featherless friend.
Our Crested cousins are beyond disgusting.
The just go around with those…CRESTS. Showing up at parties and ice cream stealing events all crested.
Honestly, we need to see if we can get a petition going to extend the hunting season on Crested Felching Snotpuddles while reducing or eliminating it for us good, honest, NON-Crested AMERICAN Felching Snotpuddles…
Ha! Matthews’ whole show this evening is about how Rush pwns every member of the Republican Party.
Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooown down down down I goooooooo
WELCOME to HOPE ‘N CHANGE economics, America!
I don’t know if it’s possible to be OT, but if it is then I apologize for so being but I found the name of my new bank.
Ohio represent
and
Your wish is my (more than a little contrived) command.
I heard that a certain Cthulusexual whos 4 that 1 likes extensions in hair, I guess you could call him ArkyOptsHairEx’s
Big Bad, yes except for when Dennis MacNamara was on the air. I couldn’t stand his voice. Here’s hoping you’re not Dennis MacNamara.
I was always doing battle with my meathead friends who wanted to listen to WNEW or WBAB so I was sad when they went off the air.
People stopped trying to make a profit on me as soon as it was clear Obama would win.
*glug glug glug* down I go!
Love the Sula sula
You gots to link or it didn’t happen.
But they were ARRESTED
for transporting YOUNG GULLS
over STATE LIONS
for IMMORTAL PORPOISES
and always, always I am late to the fair
Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.
Thanks for the link, Lawnguylander, brings back memories, and no, I am not Dennis MacNamara. Hell, I am not even Ben Manila. You should listen to WFDU on Saturdays. Ghosty (Sat 9AM-Sun 1AM) interviewed Malibu Sue a few months ago.
Hey Big Bad, Lawnguy and any other 80s alternative/new wave fans out there:
This forum currently has posted links to a bunch of air checks from WLIR/WDRE and other similar-type formats from other markets in the country. Ghosty is actually one of the regs on that board.
Boobies? Gull-on-gull action?
Frigate.
Seriously, seagulls are disgusting.
So are most humans. ‘specially con-tards.
That’s nothing. Mississippi’s official vegetable is the French fry.
Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
Thanks, handy. I have actually navigated over there from time to time over the years. Poor Ghosty, he lost his job at a satellite radio station a couple of weeks ago. He really comes across as a hell of a nice guy, so I hope things work out for him.
what we feed livestock, chickens, etc. ain’t exactly haute cuisine either.
No shit. I don’t know how you flesh-eaters can even swallow that stuff.
“Help! I got $45 billion in bailout money, and I’m only worth $17 billion now! Surely we can all blame my misfortune on that black President; this never happened when white guys were in charge.”
Don’t worry, I’ll give you and all the other welfare leeches (car companies, unions, etc) all the free money you want! I just have to check with our Chinese bankers first…
Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
Considering the Jack Daniels distillery is actually in a dry county, that figures.
I am a performance art bird pun, you bustards
What I meant to say is that because
our great captains of industryoverpaid white guys at Bank of America decided they wanted toeat shitty assetsbuy Merrill Lynch, they are crawling to Washington D.C. for anotherhand-outbail-out.Tennessee’s state drink is milk. Just happened. Can’t imagine how.
I just couldn’t believe that until I tried looking it up. WTF, like 3/4 of states that have official beverages – it’s milk. Fucking dairy farmer lobby.
And I’ll give them the free money! Free money for GM and Chrysler, too!
HOPE ‘N CHANGE!
I really hope my Chinese bankers don’t call me on this!
How the hell didn’t this musical biscuit find its way onto this thread before now?
I am surprised that this thread made it so far without any mentions of Shrienking Harpies or chickenhawks.
Blart!
Uh, were those pictures taken in the southern hemisphere?
Cuz it’s kinda cold up here right now.
Seriously, my dear Mr. Wangchuck. Even the dough-brains at my local “newspaper”‘s web site were braying about how the dairy lobby must surely have heavily financed the campaign of the goober who rammed this through. Hey, if that were the worst thing our legislators did it’d be fine by me. {deep shuddering sigh, indicating that such is unfortunately not the case}
ahemm…
The ice-cream vendors say to the gulls, “The first one is free, guys!”
“After that, you gotta be creative.”
I’d also like to pause at this moment and praise all current commenters for refraining from feeding the you-know-what(s). Excellent! Refreshingly marvelous. Never underestimate the power of a pun thread to repel the unwanted.
See how much better passive pwnage is? Ignoring the droppings is the best possible way to deal.
HOPE
CHANGE
HOPE
CHANGE!
Free money from the Chinese for everyone!
We’ll be revving up our output, too Barack! More and more paper…just watch out for the hyperinflation!
I’ll be re-elected by the time the hyperinflation kicks in! SUCKERS!
Teh real estate bubble peaked in 2005, Dow Jones.
Too bad you were too stupid to notice (as always…back in 1987, Treasury yields spiked well before the stock market movers and shakers, protected as they were by “portfolio insurance”, caught on.
And by “caught on”, I mean got caught.
Sorry MzNicky, I was in Vegas for a week.
It’s outta me system, now.
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
change…change..change
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
change…change. .change
while you minions carry the water and debate “history”, splitting hairs over Busch years of tax factors when most of those were deomcrat majorities holding the purse.
But you art doing your job well by trying to deflect the agrumen onto Bush and away from Obambi and his massive spending plans porked up further by miss piggy pelosi and reed the walrus.
only problem is that some people still look at facts and these facts are sickening no matter what “level headed” american would look at them.
Is it no wonder that all of this “must” be passed within days or weeks and not have a chance to be vetted via the web site set up for such information.. what is the number of that site Joe VP?
what a farce..VP a farce.. Finance cheif .. farce.. and seven others that did not pay the taxes they should have, buty will pay now that they are cought. sickening.
This is the change you expected??? liars, stealing your money? Tax cheats in high places?.. lobbylists given presidential advice?..
I thought we heard something about these things before the elections which stated that this nes most transparent administration woule not be saddled with these issues.
A good leader would have at least gotten that simple message to the troopds…. oh well, maybe they didn’t listen and will all be fired by tomorrow by this decisive new president?
We’ll be watching… My guess is that it will nev4r happen. SCOTT FREE ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. PICK UP YOUR PAYCHECK ON FRIDAY. GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD. (screw the american public.. Did they really believe in the things I was saying to get elected???
tell em to grow up and get in the welfare lines and soup kitchens we are setting up. and we will feed them well… so long as they continue to support me and my decisions.
change…change..change
Nobody picked absinthe? Nobody picked liquefied chicken fat? Nobody picked magnesium citrate? Don’t these clowns have any imagination?
Isn’t New Jersey’s state drink Polysorbate 80?
Alabama picked Brawndo
Alabama got whiskey and Nebraska chose Kool-Aid?
California has no official beverage?
They should pick wine, and be cool.
Wikipedia sez California’s is wine.
Don’t these clowns have any imagination?
Nobody picked that watered down piss that Americans call “beer” – nobody picked Mountain Dew Code Red depite the sponsorship offers – nobody picked the tears of innocent children…
Maine got Moxie.
I think Oklahoma’s state drink is Yoohoo. Just as crappy as their state.
Fucking New York’s official state beverage is milk. MILK FOR FUCKS SAKE!
What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey? What about the tears of
innocent childrenRed Sox fans? What about that watered down piss you’re supposed to drink with Buffalo Wings? What the hell is it about milk?Milk again for Oklahoma.
Let us here note that The Man seems to have no regard for CHOCOLATE MILK. Why’s that, huh?
Hey, drinking BRAWNDO makes you WIN AT YELLING.
Why’s that, huh?
Well coffee milk is kinda close.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbxq0IDqD04
Not a Rickroll.
That looks somewhat, um, drinkable.
Not a Rickroll.
Sure, but still totally false advertising – considering your handle.
There’s this asian coffee beverage thing where they drip brew this super-strong espresso-like stuff right into a glass with sweetened condensed milk in it. Sometimes it’s served with ice. Normally I like my coffee with just coffee in it – but this stuff is way better than a kick in the pants.
Moxie makes Mainers mighty.
The outrageous health claims put forth by the patent medicine and soft drink manufacturers led to the creation of the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906.
Check out the first photo here, of the Moxie Mobile. Even the Goddamn Batman would look on it and feel a pang of jealousy.
I stock up on Moxie every time I go up to Maine, and still have a six-pack left in the fridge. It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid. It’s flavored with purple gentian root, which lends it a distinctly bitter aftertaste.
Dingo, Baby!!
That looks somewhat, um, drinkable.
I would totally throw a couple shots of Kahlua in that. Nom.
The official state drink of Galt’s Gulch is urine martinis, served dirty.
What about Long Island Iced Tea, what about Manhattans, what about Upper New York State winery grown manischewitz that reeks of fucking dirty socks and honey?
Hell, DKW, an Egg Cream would be preferable to milk… and ditto on the espresso with sweetened condensed milk. I stock up on cans of Magnolia in the summer for just that purpose.
I wish they all could be California gulls.
It tastes kinda like root beer cut with a hint of battery acid.
Is it anything like chinotto? Dragon-King lurves hisself some Brio with his pizza. Mmm mmm yum.
Arky, that was beautiful.
I used to have a bunch of vietnamese techs (woulda been mid ’90s). They would take me to these little restaurants and Pho houses over around Tully in San Jose. And “desert” was “vietnamese Coffee” (pronounced “veenamese coffee”). It was exactly what you describe. They bring out this little drip pot and set it on top of your glass and you leave it to brew and drip while you eat. DARK French Roast.
Then, when you’re done eating, you put the sweetened condensed milk in it and GODDAM is it delicious. And potent. Your scalp crawls while you rocknroll thru the afternoon…
mikey
That’s the stuff. You slowly make your way through a bowl of Pho as big as your head, slurping noodles and shovelling the raw beef to the side so it doesn’t overcook. Mysterious hunks of goo that the restaurant calls “tendon” floating around. Totally amazing unless they put cilantro in it.
And then the coffee. With the sweet and thick and dark and yum. That. Is. The. Stuff.
Noted, DKW.
Hmph!
I can see it now…
(Crowded, boisterous political assembly) “Mistah speaker!” (The speaker bangs his gavel and calls the hall to order) “MIStah Speakerrr! The del-e-gates from Crouton County pro-posssse that the GRRREAT state of Mon-TANA adopt as its OH-ficial beverage the CLEAR and SPARK-ling TEARS of INNN-o-cent CHIL-drun!!!” (Hundreds of delegates jumping to their feet, loud cheers, banging gavel, pandemonium)
OK mikey, you live in Greater Mexico.
How about a horchata?
They call it milk.
I know I’m late but I had to take some time to quail from your bad puns.
If a troll were to make its usual points about Jena 6 and Prop 8 and S. Africa and the impending Black take-over of America USING A SERIES OF AVIAN PUNS then one might feel obliged to engage and even applaud said troll.
This does not appear to be happening, however.
I go to a place called Baja Cactus down on Main Street.
Always get a Horchata with my Birria de Chivo en Sopa.
And REAL goddam tortillas….
mikey
*attempts to construct pterodactyl pun*
*fails*
*curses*
Mmm, the tears of Republicans are soooooooooo sweet!
Sure I’ll have some more … & can I have a straw this time, please?
There is something very Leda and Zeus about these pictures,
Oh, and Barack?
The Budget Reconciliation process allows for the rejection of a Filibuster or any supermajority in the Senate.
So we don’t, quite frankly, care what Eric Cantor and his top, Rush Limbaugh, think.
Essentially, fuck a whole bunch of those cocksuckers…
mikey
A booby, a pterodactyl & a dodo walk into a bar …
(insert “humor” here)
… why, that was no pterodactyl, that was my archaeopteryx!
(Thanks! I’ll be here all decade! Try the tentacles!)
*applause for jim*
Better hope we don’t start dumping those treasury bonds, Barack.
Who is John Galt?
I have another question for you libs. Why do you think Obambi is such a socialist?
And my second question to all you libs is: Why do I have strange dreams about large sausages being shoved into my ass when I go to sleep after seeing negro basketball players on TV?
Pie is indeed delicious.
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis. Large financial institutions with shaky balance sheets such as Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Bank of America that received government bailouts are contrasted with smaller regional banks that have soundly withstood the financial slowdown. Weak car makers General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler are contrasted with non-unionized car manufacturers such as Toyota, Honda, and Volkswagen. In both of these instances, the “worker,” more efficient companies bear the strong possibility of being more heavily taxed and regulated by the government while the “looter” companies receive monetary assistance from the government.
One of my favorite trips was a visiting a friend in San Francisco.
Burritos, horchatas, Pho and Thai coffee.
And red snapper tacos.
Can’t forget the tacos.
Interesting, but I didn’t any avian puns. So, FAIL.
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.
Many observers have also noted my striking resemblance to Ayn Rand.
“I didn’t see,” naturally.
“I didn’t see,” naturally.
Well you’ll have to be more observant or we’ll snatch the fucking ice cream cone right out of your hands.
Take me to your Leda!
Was that a chicken joke?
The national drink of New Zealand is the tears of clowns. Or was it Stones Green Ginger Wine?
Sorry, I’ll try not to let it happen again. My mind must have flown the coop.
I think this thread is just about finched.
I have a wood pecker.
The barman says “Why the long face?”, so they eat him.
Perusing the TV guide we find:
“Maul in the Family” Archaeopteryx Bunker and his wife Edith muddle through their annual migration to Europe, where Archaeopteryx manages to upset everyone he meets, so he eats them.
We’re King in BHO’s America
Idiot troll can’t even spell HBO correctly.
jim:
Better a dactylogram on your plate than a clawprint in your ice-cream.
Stupid troll can’t even spell HBO correctly.
We’re King in Rush’s America. After he becomes the official head of the RNC every republican will be required to bugger at least 5 boys and become even more of a drug addict than they already are.
We’re King in BHO’s America
Well, you gotta admit, Limbaugh’s set himself up pretty well as the “leader of the opposition.”
Dammit I always get beat to the punch around here!
Link about what you accused Limbaugh of doing in the DR, or it didn’t happen.
Dove stew, San Antonio style
Head out of an afternoon to the hill country. Grab yer shotgun from the Land Rover and walk up near the tank. Shoot the little fuckers as they fly in*. Double kills score bonus points (bonus points aint good for shit, ‘cept for arguin who’s got most of em). After ya shoot twenty or so of the little shits, pull a beer from the cooler and bs fer a while.
Head for home and toss the birds in the garage. Next day, rip the breasts out of ’em. They aint nuttin to a dove but the breast meat so jes turn on the hose and rip those out of em and toss em in a bowl or somethin.
Dry the cleaned breasts and season with salt, pepper and a dash of cayenne. Toss a few tablespoons butter into a 2 inch deep pan and bring to medium heat. Add the birds and cook slowly for several minutes – don’t brown them, just cook gently. Remove the meat to a bowl and cover with foil. Increase heat to medium high, add another dollop of butter or oil and and some quartered button mushrooms. Big plus if you can toss in a handful of “wild” shrooms too – shitake and chanterelle are good, morels would be fantastic. Saute the shrooms until they exude their juices. Add some chopped onion and crushed garlic, cook until softened. Add some dry white wine (dry french vermouth is my go-to bottle) to deglaze. Return dove meat to pan. Add some nic herbs like rosemary, thyme, savory, whatever you like. Herbes de provence is perfect. Add a cup or two of meat stock and bring just to a gentle simmer. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for an hour or so. Add one cup heavy cream and increase heat to gentle boil. Reduce slightly. Garni and serve.
*It’s kind of like shooting trap knowing when a target is about to be available. Most people cal it “dove hunting” but I always referred to it as “dove shooting” which seemed more accurate.
At least Rush gave us some lotion for our sore asses after he was through with us. But it was more sore from irritation than from invasive injury since his wee-wee is indeed very wee.
Why would you dry clean the breasts?
Can I use that dove recipe with another, more human type of meat?
Just askin’!
Like the old proverb says:
For children, a woman;
For pleasure, a boy;
But for Rush Limbaugh, one jar of Viagra, another of Oxycontin, a tube of AstroGlide, three twelve year old boys, a large sack of White Castle wolf cookies, a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, a few cigars, and a ride home.
WITHOUT knowing when the target will fly…. fuck fuck fuck
Dick Cheney,
Techniques for preparing “long pork” are available at http://www.RNC.org
Did somebody mention barred owls?
I love it when negroes polish my knob. Especially uppity ones who think they run the RNC.
I will not budgie from the thrush of this argument.
Seagulls are not only disgusting, filthy creatures, they’re mean. Everyone in Seattle has a scary gull-encounter story to tell.
Still, I really miss waking up early in the morning on Pill Hill in Seattle, and lying there in the quiet listening to the gulls crying down by the Sound. We have lake gulls here but it ain’t the same . . .
Making a good pun is a real feather in the cap, but I’ll sparrow you the bad puns. I do think we should preserve eagality between good and bad puns. Even talonted folks can make a bad one now and then, and it’s said that even a wingnut may soar like he’s never soared before, sometimes. At least, that’s what Ashcroft says.
I really need to watch myself like a hawk.
The “lark” will henceforth be known as the “blark”.
That is all.
Still no link. I see it is more baseless liberal accusations.
Arky is on fire! You really have something to crow about!
Maybe we should cool the bird puns though. It seems kind of mean, mocking birds like this.
You think that’s bad, how about having your liver ripped out by a nose-diving crow while you’re sitting peacefully on your lilly pad.
Still no link. I see it is more baseless liberal accusations.
Okay, I don’t think you’re grasping the concept, so I’ll help. Instead of what you wrote above, you should have gone with this:
“Still no link. I see that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
Hey, don’t skip my tern!
PeeJ, you got a thing going on with the Vermouth and the Herbs de Province.
It’s like a signature.
I do much the same with quail, but I do it a little more carefully. You can gut ’em and pluck ’em and get the breasts, the legs and the thighs (mmm, DARK meat). I like to do a REAL rustic polenta with the quail, along with some kind of quick bread like Soda bread or Biscuits.
Wilted spinach salad with a hot bacon vinaigrette is pretty much the perfect counterpoint…
mikey
Crisped Least Weasel with Shredded Mature Goudas
I didn’t have a name for this stuff so my boyfriend’s friend named it the Mother of All Turdstarters. It is. Make sure to get a big glass of milk.
Ingredients:
1 least weasel, restlessly crisped
1 cup mature Gouda
1 hopeful baby gouda, alliteratively buttered
3 ounces angry mudminnow skull
5 jiggers maple syrup
1 can coffee
Lustfully grease a cookie sheet. Separate least weasel thorax from liver. Discard liver. Use a food processor to mix the baby gouda with the mature Gouda. Drip resulting potion over the least weasel. Dry – very onwards – the mudminnow skull, maple syrup, and the coffee. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 120 hours. Serves 6.
Still no pigeon.
We all got BIGGGG payoffs to keep quiet after our divorces about the fact that Rush never fucked any of us.
How far down will I go tomorrow?
Dear Leader says I don’t matter, but what about all the Americans that hold stocks and 401(k)s?
I am both a car* and a vicious sheep-eating bird!
* phonetically
You think that’s bad, how about having your liver ripped out by a nose-diving crow while you’re sitting peacefully on your lilly pad.
Holy crow!
This guy can relate.
“Only once the liver is gone does the toad realise it’s been attacked. It puffs itself up as a natural defence mechanism. But since it doesn’t have a diaphragm or ribs, without the liver there is nothing to hold the rest of its organs in. The lungs stretch out of all proportion and rip; the rest of the organs simply expel themselves.”
Is this meant to be some sort of metaphor for the Republican party?
At the same time that milk was designated Tennessee’s state beverage, agate became the official state mineral. Whoever once postulated that the glorious border state’s representatives did not act in their constituents’ best interests was clearly WRONG, for what could ever be more important than this?
Should I ignore 2 or 3 Congressional subpoenas today?
Being a Republican Fatcat means laws are for little people, AKA “republican voters”.
We’re just trying to distract people from our mis-handling of the economy, massive deficits, and broken campaign promises Karl. Can’t you please please PLEASE provide us with a show trial to distract the proles?
Ow, quit it!
Ow, quit it!
Ow, quit it!
Laws are for Democrats, not for Fatcat Republicans. Dems can’t touch me or they might get some anthrax mysteriously mailed to them, have their plane crash, or commit suicide.
I hate white milk. I’d rather eat a seagull, or a pigeon.
I don’t think Iowa has a state beverage. If we ever adopt one, I suspect it will be ethanol.
Not one single state has chosen the dung beetle as the official state insect. Not one!
I never cared about the stock markets when The Chimperor was prez Now that O is prez I find that I can’t stop obsessing about debentures even though I know financial instruments don’t represent the whole economy. Please shoot me Mr. Cheney, so that I might know again the simple peace of Republican off-budget accounting.
Although it should be Templeton Rye.
Deficits don’t matter.
We REALLY need to give you a Stalin-esque show trial to distract the country while we loot the treasury for welfare parasites (aka our supports).
Come on, Karl. PLEASE!?
I think they were just trying to combat the effects of global warming. At least that could be the case if they’re British birds.
I’ve spent more in one month than Bush and Cheney did in a year.
Bird now.
The official red-state beverage is holy water. But not that papist piss, I mean the genuine Christian holy water!
Forcing Karl Rove to testify is a Stalin-esque show trial but when Clinton lied about getting a blow job is was the CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS OF OUR TIME!
Bird now.
Win!
Who knew clearing up other people’s messes was expensive?
We love ruining America’s economy and then having our tools, AKA republican voters, blame it on the Democrat who follows us and has to fix the mess.
What, no love for me?
No feedum troll.
Pill Hill in Seattle
I need to investigate this appellation. There’s a Pill Hill in Portland, I am unaware of all Seattle traditions.
mikey,
Yeah, the Herbs de P is pretty much my stock in trade. I like to mix my own. I go a little heavy on the lavender and like to use savory in the mix. Summer savory is a hugely underappreciated herb.
The vermouth thing I got from St. Julia but it was strongly reinforced by noted Fat Lady Clarissa Dickson Wright. I keep two bottles on hand at all times. (Noilly Pratt is the only one to use) One in the liquor cabinet, one next to the range. Clarissa, an alcoholic, said she used it because she had no temptation to drink it, it was only good for cooking. Any time a recipe calls for dry white wine, vermouth works perfectly. Sometimes, exquisitely well.
What’s the word?
I’ve had more blackbirds baked in a pie in one month than Bush and Cheney had in one year.
Obama said that America would leave Iraq in 16 months and during the campaign the Republicans claimed he wouldn’t EVER do it, he couldn’t EVER leave Iraq. Now Obama says its going to take 19 months to leave. Doesn’t that just piss you libs off? Doesn’t it make you livid that it might take 3 more months? Weren’t the Republicans correct when we said he was lying because we said he would NEVER leave Iraq? Aren’t you furious? How about now?
Pill Hill is more or less First Hill, PeeJ. It’s nicknamed Pill Hill because there are like three medical centers in the area. A good friend of mine lives right by Swedish. It’s a great place to live, except I always joke that when it’s icy she could walk out to the street, slip, and wind up in the Sound. That is some hilly shit around that neighborhood.
I miss Seattle. I’ll have to listen to Lanegan’s Pill Hill Serenade before I go to bed.
Methinks the lame trolls is catching on, that is to say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Bird puns — still too hard, report scientists
“A cup of coffee might do the trick,” suggested Dr Gail Nighting. “Try the Nest-café.”
We couldn’t help ourselves when we make our plans to bankrupt America.
Really, we can’t. Since Republicans naturally hate America, we want to destroy it. And we always get soooooo close but then some lousy effective Democrat Preisdent has to get elected and set back our plans to end America.
Why don’t you pass the time with a game of solitaire?
PDFTT
Thank you.
I didn’t have a name for this stuff so my boyfriend’s friend named it…
Is there something you’d like to share with us? Or perhaps your wife?
Is there something you’d like to share with us? Or perhaps your wife?
Why would he share his wife with us? We’re gay.
Heh. Fake troll is actually funny.
Thank you for reminding me of that fine piece of music. It’s every bit as sophistomocated as this masterpiece.
Jake Tapper is the one guy who’s outside the buttboy bubble – RushiePoo
Um, Rush, you old fat queen? That’s “bubble butt boy.” Christ, had you come out of your massive closet you’d know these very basic things. If you had any class or larnin, you’d use the corrsct word, that being “callipygian.” In contrast to your own steatopygean pilonidalist cysteanism.
Methinks the callipygians are coming home to roost.
“*attempts to construct pterodactyl pun*”
Troofie: to avoid an asshole pterodactyl your last comments.
I’ll be a miserable one-term failure as President, if I even make it through one term without resigning or impeachment.
The thought of Biden being President is even scarier huh? Too bad!
In addition to this being Square Root Day, it also seems to be Punday. Even PZ has been rockin’ the puns.
I guess now’s as good as any to bust out this.
Why would Obama be impeached? He inherited Bush’s mistakes and disasters, not his high crimes and misdemeanors.
Why would Obama be impeached? He inherited Bush’s mistakes and disasters, not his high crimes and misdemeanors.
What makes you think the Republicans won’t try it anyway?
What makes you think the Republicans won’t try it anyway?
I suppose so. In L.A. they could nail him for driving while black.
It’s rumored that Barack Obama has fathered two black children!!!
Pass it on.
“Why would Obama be impeached? ”
LOL! Just wait until the Chicago ick bubbles up.
I rose quickly and to great heights, and my fall will be just as quick and steep.
“Why would Obama be impeached? ”
Brain dead pukes R brain dead.
Hey whats that uh, whats the number of the website I’m in charge of?
iamb torn to tears
I suffer a couplet of fears
anapest has beset me
as my muscles respondee
Oh feet! Oh toes!
I suffer these woes
I never meant to tear
oh dactyl so fair
to tear you , oh dactyl, to tear.
Nay, cease you’re a paeon
not a meter, not nearly so long
Frost has limned you in rime
the pain! A dolorous song.
Now watch as our fair nurse puts on it,
the cure, an ionic tonic
In Los Angeles, we call the area where the croakers congregate “Bed Pan Alley.”
I go away for a few hours and I miss all the good puns.
*sshhhhshhh*
Don’t look now – it’s working. It’s working.
WHAT’S WORKING PEEJ? HUH? I CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU ARE WHISPERING LIKE THAT! IS THAT SOME SORT OF FISH PUN?
*sshhhhshhh*
Don’t look now – it’s working. It’s working.
Not if they’re getting paid by the word.
“I miss all the good puns.”
Some would say there are no good puns.
What you liberals don’t understand is that I EAT POOP.
Peej, thanks for that book recommendation. It’s fantastically beautiful as well…
Not one single state has chosen the dung beetle as the official state insect. Not one!
On the other hand (the gloved one), the RNC seems to have enshrined the World’s Biggest Dung Beetle as their Spokesinsect.
you all are total condor*ks.
it really didn’t take long for this thread to get all punny, did it?
(*amazing condor fact! when they get really hungry, they sometimes swoop down and PLUCK A SHEEP OFF THE HILLSIDE!)
He does keep those balls of shit rolling along, doesn’t he?
Leave. The World’s Biggest Dung Beetle. ALONE!
There’s a reason Peter Daou doesn’t have a WH job. To wit, he put his loser, old think strategy to work for an old think loser.
Also, to Mr. Polk, you’re most welcome! I’m delighted to share – even proselytize – my fortuitous finds.
And thanks Big bad and handy for the links.
297.
Greg Rutter’s Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You’re a Loser or Old or Something
http://www.youshouldhaveseenthis.com/
Evidently I am old and a loser.
Nothing wrong w/ being mature, & staying away from the rat race. I’ve experienced half that crap on telebision. Wait a minute, that makes me really old & a loser.
300!
Hey libs, your rude puns won’t save you when the awesome El Rushbo Gigante leads the GOP to an Oxycontin-fueled REBIRTH in 2010!
–>insert “cardinal rule” pun here<–
Uh oh.
I’m old, a loser, out of touch & too ambivalent to give a fuck.
What do I win?
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.
Many observers have also noticed that “Atlas Shrugs” bears a striking resemblance to a novel written many years earlier:
The 1922 novel The Driver by Garet Garrett tells the story of an entrepreneur, who, through his own vision and work ethic, takes over a failing railway, turning it into a hugely productive and profitable asset for the benefit of himself and the rest of the nation. Unable to see what he has achieved in turning his own business and the wider economy around from recession to boom, and blinded by the intense wealth and power he leads as a result, the general population and government turn against him, ultimately destroying him instead of celebrating his success. There is speculation on whether the work had any influence on Rand’s depiction of Galt in Atlas Shrugged or if it was simply coincidence.[2] In The Driver, the central character is Henry Galt, whereas in Atlas Shrugged the main character is John Galt. In The Driver, at one point, the question is asked “Who is Henry Galt?”. In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand made this a major theme of her book, as many central and peripheral characters ask the question “Who is John Galt?”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Galt
Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be more irresponsible not to.
Mother in Diner is so, like, eight hours ago.
I’m old, a loser, and I have too many cats. Beat that.
I think the only thing gotten/won from being older & “dull” is watching the hep & exciting die young.
Aw, can’t have too many cats.
Are the Frau & Spawn nothing? Or part of the losing?
According to Mehitabel the Abyssinian, any number of cats more than her is “too many”.
The Frau & Doktorling are indeed central to my point.
Here’s some controversy:
Worst shitholes in America. Do you live in one?
Top 10 unhappiest American cities
1. Portland, Ore.
2. St. Louis
3. New Orleans
4. Detroit
5. Cleveland
6. Jacksonville, Fla.
7. Las Vegas
8. Nashville-Davidson, Tenn.
9. Cincinnati
10. Atlanta
Nothing personal. Just saying.
Good Morning all! You know what they say about the early bird. Mmm worms.
OT (like that’s even possible at this point) – as much as I think that Paul Begala is a huge seething mass of Village idiocy, I gotta say the “All praise Rush” meme is pretty solid. And it’s nice to see the Dem insiders on the offense. This piece of snark is pretty sweet – although it’s also kinda funny that the best hit the Dems have scored in such a long time is an apology.
I think this Rush thing is brilliant. He’s their mouthpiece for sick and twisted stuff, and when called on it, they fall all over themselves saying, “He’s a radio shock jock! He’s an entertainer!”
Why are they apologizing to him, then?
Lustfully grease a cookie sheet.
I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Many observers have noted that the sequence of events in “Atlas Shrugged” bear a striking resemblance to the 2008 American financial crisis.
And if you synch it up with Dark Side of the Moon on a quad set, you’ll trip your balls off.
2000-2008 bore a striking resemblance to Revolt in 2100. Yet we managed to throw out the yoke of theocracy without bloodshed.
Top 10 unhappiest American cities
1. Portland, Ore.
They shouldn’t have collected their data between November and March.
Leave. The World’s Biggest Dung Beetle. ALONE!
Those who enjoy embarrassing themselves on video should note that there is no “LEAVE RUSH ALONE” on YouTube.
Those who enjoy embarrassing themselves on video should note that there is no “LEAVE RUSH ALONE” on YouTube.
Replace “YouTube” with “FOX News” and it’s on 24/7
Maine got Moxie.
That shit is nasty.
Worst shitholes in America. Do you live in one?
I live in one. But just stay the fuck out of downtown (especially after dark) and you should be okay.
I have two birds. My Cockatoo hates anything cold. He will not touch fruit or veggies that have been in the fridge until they warm to room temperature. My Indian Ringneck loves cold food. Even though she always has an ample supply of fresh water she much prefers the ice water that’s in my glass. And she’s absolutely crazy for ice cream! She can recognize the sound of a scoop dipping into ice cream from three rooms away. She would probably eat a whole quart in one sitting and explode if I let her. But the real fun is when both birds are around when I’m eating ice cream. The Ringneck will happily pig out and the Cockatoo will watch till he decides there must be something good he is missing and tries the ice cream. He will then shake his head and spray ice cream about the place, look indignant and wipe his beak on my shirt. Of course he will try again with same results over and over. In fact he’s kinda like a wingnut, he just doesn’t learn.