Sadly, No!

ABOVE: Tom Sowell. He even poops
like a white guy.

Shorter Thomas “Actually I’m Whiter Than Pat Boone” Sowell, Human Wingnuts Online
Race and Resentment

• If liberals would just come out admit that black kids are stupid, rather than spouting all this claptrap about social inequities, then black kids would accept their rightful place at the bottom of the ladder and would stop beating up Asian Americans and other intellectual superiors.

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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Let’s whistle up a chorus of Whack-A-Doodle Dandy and march over to The American Thinker and see what the genius crowd of über-patriots over there is up to today. Oh, look! It’s Ed Lasky, the unemployed “investor” from Northbrook and also the News “Editor” of the American Thinker. He’s worked up into a lather about the next big threat from Big Brother government — a device designed to spy on ordinary Americans while they’re taking a dump or picking their noses with crumb-encrusted index fingers.

And that device is . . . (Drum roll please)
[audio: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/Drum-Roll-Sound.mp3]

. . . the RFID chip

[audio: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/Failure-WahWah.mp3]

That’s right. The RFID chip.

[audio: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/72112__bugfish__yodelayheehaw.mp3]

Now comes one more example: recycling bins with tracking chips to monitor whether people are obeying Big Brother.

[audio: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/drama_hit.mp3]

Except when you read the news item quoted you find out that it involves the City of Alexandria, Virginia, putting RFID chips in their own, city-owned recycling bins to keep track of where the fuck the bins are, not to enable satellite spying on teabaggers on their way to KFC for a Double-Down Sandwich.

Now, Ed’s certainly got some significant tin foil action of his own going on here with respect to the diabolical RFID devices, but he’s got nothing on the geniuses in the comment section which, as habitués of the Thinker’s comment sections will already know, is a treasure trove of third-grade spelling errors, looney-toon conspiracy theorists, pimple-faced Randians, and buck-toothed dimwits.

Commenter ked5 sets the bar:

you have now entered the twilight zone.

and lib’s *still* don’t “get it”. Actually, they do, they’re *promulagating it*!

JQAdams works some spy satellite juju into the RFID chips:

And the Liberals get their panties in a bunch over Arizona’s supposed “Paper Please” Law. Nothing like getting a knock on the door from the government. After they were monitoring you via satellite. Asking you about your trash collecting habits. Liberals are “unhinged”

Commenter jmc sees the black visage of the Kenyan socialist behind this chip stuff:

Had enough Hope and Change yet?

And CaptSpaulding gets a whiff of unconstitutional involuntary servitude from the city program and bravely steps up to the plate with a little civil disobedience:

First you pay taxes (most places) for trash pickup or, like us, pay directly to Waste Mgmt. Corp. Then, the municipality orders you to “work” for them by sorting the trash you pay them to pick up? Do I work for the Gov’t? Yes, one could say so. But I wonder how they’ll like it if I bill them the $54.13/hr I normally receive for my work as an engineer for sorting “their” trash. And, as someone else pointed out, what about my deposits I’ve paid on every container I’ve purchased? They get to keep that, along with my “free” labor, too? Gee, what if the microchip got “accidentally” damaged?

[audio: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/conspiracy.mp3]

William “Billy Two Times” Petroski, the Des Moines Register:
“Woodstock” of tea parties planned Sept. 11 in western Iowa

An event described as the “Woodstock” of tea parties is planned for Sept. 11 at the Monona County Fairgrounds in Onawa in western Iowa.

While the art of the headline clearly isn’t their thing down at the Register, it’s the case that ‘Monona in Onawa in Iowa’ provides a consistency of vowel-consonant alternation once thought unachievable in the festival trade. And yet, are they not all Woodstocks now, these plein air conservative events with inadequate toilets and apparitions of the ubiquitous Ben Hancock?¹ Shall there be no Monterey Pop or Newport Jazz Festival of tea parties? Where is their… Yes, sure, this may have been their Altamont, but when will we see their Riverfront Who Stomp?

It’s clever, though. The date of September 11 will help debunk the liberal media’s malicious association of the Tea Partiers with wingnut conservatism.

Craig Halverson of Griswold, who is helping to organize the event, said supporters hope to attract at least 1,000 people from Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Minnesota and other states.

A map provides the hints of Wisconsin, Illinois, Missouri, and Kansas, although expanding the effective radius of this event seems inefficient, given that the Onawa Metro Area retains significant potential, attendancewise.

He said they are inviting prominent conservative speakers and plan to have bands perform patriotic music.

On second thought, Onawa’s schedule looks really maxed that week, sorry.

The event will have a “Take back our country” theme, Halverson said. Although the activities will occur on the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, he said organizers don’t plan to spend the day reflecting on those events.

Yeah, that’s like your neo-Druid friends inviting you to a big outdoor party with bonfires on May 1st, and being like, “Well, it’s scheduled for halfway between the solstice and equinox, but we’re not planning to celebrate Beltane.”

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William “Billy Bad Breaks” Petroski, the Des Moines Register:
Iowa’s 2008 disaster funding tops $4 billion

Recent allocations of state and federal funding have pushed Iowa’s 2008 disaster recovery allocations over $4 billion, state officials said today.

Confederate Yankee, Confederate Yankee:
The Disaster America Ignored

I’ll be frank:

No, don’t. ‘Frank Yankee’ sounds like a Bowie album about puppets making crank calls.

I didn’t have a grasp of how bad the flooding in Tennessee was, because I didn’t see enough news coverage to grasp to severity of the disaster.

On the positive side, blame has arrived and now the healing, or hurling, can begin.

It’s amazing and inspiring to watch a community exhibit so much courage and a can-do attitude in the face of such utter devastation. They didn’t cry and wait for others to rescue them; they rescued themselves. They didn’t loot and riot and shoot at those trying to help them; they organized and helped those most in need.

It was like the opposite of pheasant season.

In several years, I suspect most of Nashville will bear few physical scars from the 2010 flood, because the city and people of Nashville are not just survivors, they are winners determined to triumph.

Years after Katrina, New Orleans will still be a stinking cesspool of quitters and defeatists crying for handouts.

Look at the character of these two cities, and see if you can figure out why one will thrive no matter the odds, and why one will fail no matter the treasure wasted.

hehe is teh blaxxorz shhh dot’n say antyhing hahaa the balk peep;s are stinkig cess pool! liberals are teh real racits pass it on lolololol!!1!

Character matters.

Oh noes, Hurry-cane Humberto done knocked ovah mah char-coal grill.

Cue: ‘Lara’s Theme‘

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The Centrism of Dunces:

Embedding arose because American journalists requested it. During the Persian Gulf War, many reporters were stuck covering the action from the rear in Dhahran or Riyadh. A few managed to travel with U.S. units into the battle zone, producing vivid reports…

After the war, U.S. media outlets pleaded that this sort of access be expanded. And the next time, it was. The Pentagon realized that having journalists witness war from the limited but exhilarating perspective of a Humvee racing toward Baghdad was very much in its interest. So as we prepared to cover the invasion of Iraq in March 2003, my colleagues rushed to make arrangements to be embedded with the commands that would see the most action.

Indeed, I think one reason for the news media’s inadequate examination of the rationale for war in late 2002 and 2003 was that we knew President George W. Bush had already made his decision — the Army was lined up in the desert, after all — and most editors were focused on figuring out how best to report it.

Ya Rly “No, really.”

Too often, news consumers don’t want to be challenged. They want to be informed, yes, but also bolstered in their views. And here’s the part that worries me most (and not just because it threatens my paycheck): Many consumers of news seem to trust the new ideologically embedded media over the traditional independent media. They think The Washington Post has an agenda; they think the mainstream media as a whole are tainted and biased.

I would not pretend that traditional journalists are free of implicit, unexamined biases. In the name of non-ideological reporting, we tend to converge toward the center, forgetting that bipartisanship, in itself, is an ideological statement. Too often, mainstream journalism doesn’t see or report what’s on the wings, right and left. In the name of open debate, we sometimes have the effect of narrowing it. My own implicit bias for the center is sometimes painfully obvious in my columns. It skews my judgment.

[…]

…Our late Post publisher Katharine Graham once chided some of us, “Just because you are getting attacked from both the left and right doesn’t mean you’re doing a good job.” She was right, but it’s still a useful index.

We all need to break away from the caravan and the special access it allows — even that venerable caravan in the center of the highway — and try to get the story right.

So to recap: Ignatius and his ilk, the even-handed, centristy, traditional press corps, were in the tank for Bush, the Pentagon, the wingnut legion of doom and all its raging war lust. Fox News and the wingnuts admired and perfected this type of “journalism,” made it their shtick, other brands and types of media followed suit if not always party and ideology (iow, liberals eventually got their own, too, or so he thinks), got the audience, and now Ignatius decides it’s not really fair and not really journalism. He wants another chance; pretty please? He’ll start again from the center which may be wrong but is still, no doubt, oh so rightwing.

Debbie Schlussel is furious that People magazine ‘chose disgusting-looking, morbidly obese actress Gabourey Sidibe as one of the “World’s Most Beautiful People.”’

It’s one thing to be against the government getting involved in what you eat or how much you weigh. Big Brother shouldn’t be in our kitchens or on our dinner tables. But it’s entirely another thing to be subject to the constant, intellectually dishonest promotion of fat people as ‘beautiful’ and ‘sexy.’

Yes, this is the dominant theme in media and entertainment … pity all the poor skinny people under a constant barrage of images that promote an impossible-to-attain body type.

This girl’s weight is sickening. She’s gross to look at. And it’s unhealthy. But People is engaging in the usual affirmative action for fat people because the editors clearly feel bad for Sidibe. She was correctly dissed by Howard Stern, who said on his satellite radio show that she would not find more acting work.

Gabourey Sidibe should totally just kill herself. But only after she’s done promoting her latest film, ‘Yelling to the Sky’ … because, you know, that’s probably in her contract.

And part of it is because she’s not just any fat actress, she’s a Black fat actress in a ghetto movie promoted by Oprah and based on a ‘gangsta lit’ book. Let’s face it: there have been plenty of equally ugly White fat actresses, like Camryn Manheim. And People didn’t lie to us and tell us they were the ‘World’s Most Beautiful People.’

I wonder if Camryn Manheim will send Debs a thank-you note for that elegant defense of her interests?

Regardless of race, I’m beyond tired of the conventional Hollywood types telling us that being this fat – the girl is morbidly obese – is ‘beautiful.’ If they really believed this, they’d cast Sidibe as a romantic lead in movies like ‘Somewhere in Time,’ as superheroes’ girlfriends in movies like ‘Iron Man’ and ‘Superman.’ But that never happens.

Hidden somewhere in that graf is the counter-evidence to Debbie’s contention that Hollywood engages in ‘the constant, intellectually dishonest promotion of fat people as “beautiful” and “sexy”.’ But I can’t quite put my finger on it …

Ultimately, this whole thing strikes me as a new kind of Domino Theory being developed by Debbie. You know, if we let just one overweight person be billed as ‘beautiful’, the whole house of negative body image reinforcement will come tumbling down. If we lose People magazine, can US Weekly, Hello and Vogue be far behind? And from there, the rot would quickly spread to perfume ads all the way to summer action blockbusters!

Debbie Schlussel is on that wall protecting us from the spectre of global Chubbyism … and we should thank her for it.

Shorter Bobo, The Fucking New York Fucking Times
The Limits of Policy

• The basic problem with social reform is that African-Americans will always be sick, poor, and stupid no matter what the government does.

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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ABOVE: Chris Beach (right) and Church Lady (right)

Shorter Chris Beach (Patrick Henry College, Class of 2010), Beach Notes
Tragedy on College Campuses

• College girls would never get shot if all schools were like mine and passed a rule against dancing.*

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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*This is why there is no dancing at Patrick Henry. Master Beach is in the green t-shirt

ABOVE: Svelte heart-throb Kevin Dujan

Shorter Kevin Dujan, Kevin Dujan and/or Kevin Dujan,¹ Hillbuzz:
People Magazine Done² Lost Its Mind

• Another way that liberals discriminate against white people is by putting a big fat ugly black woman on a list of the world’s most beautiful people. Speaking of ugly black women, there’s always Michelle Obama who obviously has blind people pick out her wardrobe. Also, Oprah. I am not a RAAAAAAACIST.

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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¹Hillbuzz is allegedly written by three young gay men in Chicago, allegedly lifelong Democrats, who became PUMAs rather than vote for a Negro in the White House. In fact, it appears that Kevin Dujan (who may or may not be gay but is certainly not young) is the sole voice behind Hillbuzz and that some variation of multiple personality disorder results in his pretending to be three separate young gay men.

² Use of faux-Ebonics once again demonstrates the truth of Dujan’s claim that he is not a racist, notwithstanding that he called blacks “paranoid and lazy,” referred to black children as “litters,” used this racist image to illustrate a post where he called black voters “hateful” and “discriminatory,” and once said:

[B]lack voters just race-vote in elections, and if they think someone is black, they will vote for him. Charles Manson could be elected to office in Chicago if the Southside was somehow convinced he was black.

No, there’s not a drop of racist blood in Dujan’s ample body.

Above: “I gotcher minstrel show rite here.”

Shorter Dennis Prager
Real Clear Politics
“Why Left Talks About ‘White’ Tea Parties”

• Ok, fine, let’s grant the racist leftwingers’ cheap shot that the Tea Party is 100% Caucasian. So what? It doesn’t prove that Tea Partiers are the racists; but it might prove that blacks and Latinos are congenitally too stupid, venal, and racist to identify with such a pure and wholesome movement. Let’s be clear about who is excluding whom, people.

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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