Costco Coulter Sees Fat People

Debbie Schlussel is furious that People magazine ‘chose disgusting-looking, morbidly obese actress Gabourey Sidibe as one of the “World’s Most Beautiful People.”’

It’s one thing to be against the government getting involved in what you eat or how much you weigh. Big Brother shouldn’t be in our kitchens or on our dinner tables. But it’s entirely another thing to be subject to the constant, intellectually dishonest promotion of fat people as ‘beautiful’ and ‘sexy.’

Yes, this is the dominant theme in media and entertainment … pity all the poor skinny people under a constant barrage of images that promote an impossible-to-attain body type.

This girl’s weight is sickening. She’s gross to look at. And it’s unhealthy. But People is engaging in the usual affirmative action for fat people because the editors clearly feel bad for Sidibe. She was correctly dissed by Howard Stern, who said on his satellite radio show that she would not find more acting work.

Gabourey Sidibe should totally just kill herself. But only after she’s done promoting her latest film, ‘Yelling to the Sky’ … because, you know, that’s probably in her contract.

And part of it is because she’s not just any fat actress, she’s a Black fat actress in a ghetto movie promoted by Oprah and based on a ‘gangsta lit’ book. Let’s face it: there have been plenty of equally ugly White fat actresses, like Camryn Manheim. And People didn’t lie to us and tell us they were the ‘World’s Most Beautiful People.’

I wonder if Camryn Manheim will send Debs a thank-you note for that elegant defense of her interests?

Regardless of race, I’m beyond tired of the conventional Hollywood types telling us that being this fat – the girl is morbidly obese – is ‘beautiful.’ If they really believed this, they’d cast Sidibe as a romantic lead in movies like ‘Somewhere in Time,’ as superheroes’ girlfriends in movies like ‘Iron Man’ and ‘Superman.’ But that never happens.

Hidden somewhere in that graf is the counter-evidence to Debbie’s contention that Hollywood engages in ‘the constant, intellectually dishonest promotion of fat people as “beautiful” and “sexy”.’ But I can’t quite put my finger on it …

Ultimately, this whole thing strikes me as a new kind of Domino Theory being developed by Debbie. You know, if we let just one overweight person be billed as ‘beautiful’, the whole house of negative body image reinforcement will come tumbling down. If we lose People magazine, can US Weekly, Hello and Vogue be far behind? And from there, the rot would quickly spread to perfume ads all the way to summer action blockbusters!

Debbie Schlussel is on that wall protecting us from the spectre of global Chubbyism … and we should thank her for it.

 

Comments: 534

 
 
 

“Costco Coulter” is BRILLIANT!

 
 

Let’s face it: there have been plenty of equally ugly White fat actresses, like Camryn Manheim.

I sense a tag-team steel cage handicap match in Debbie’s future.

And DA? You might want to scan yesterday’s threads. Someone posted a video of L’il Debs and, well, she ain’t exactly svelte in the avoidupois department, if you know what I mean…and she stole Miss Piggy’s prosthetics!

 
 

I missed yesterday’s threads because I was too busy gorging myself to attain the obese body that media tells me I must have to be sexy.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’ve said all I can say about this without punching someone.

My statement re: wart-covered goiters stands.

 
 

I missed yesterday’s threads because I was too busy gorging myself to attain the obese body that media tells me I must have to be sexy.

I know just the solution

NSFanyoneeatinganything

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Debbie Schlussel is on that wall protecting us from the spectre of global Chubbyism … and we should thank her for it.

Amen to that. Only Debbie stands to prevent K-Lo being cast as a Bond girl.

 
 

Found the video:

 
 

actor – that’s pretty gnarly.

 
 

I’m surprised to see this degree of malice from Schlussel. I mean, Sidibe isn’t a lesbian or anything.

Also, while Schlussel isn’t what I would consider fat, she is “fat” in the same sense that Jennifer Hudson and Jordin Sparks are “fat.” She can probably explain what that means – I’m sure she’s got a couple dozen pictures of each of them on her hard drive. You know, for research.

 
 

Both vids – the dude drinking fat and Debbie ‘doing’ Fred Thompson.

 
 

I’m sure, given her deep concern about the promotion of obesity in America, that Debbie Schlussel wholeheartedly supports Michelle Obama’s school lunch campaign, right?

 
 

Debbie Schlussel is on that wall protecting us from the spectre of global Chubbyism…

Incidentally, the IMDb Memorable quotes page for A Few Good Men is basically the entire script.

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by unobtainable body images. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the countless broken anorexic teenagers, and you curse the purveyors of Ephedra. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That this People magazine list, while filled with ridiculously skinny broads, is an existential threat to Western civilization. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, holds the threat of fat chicks at bay. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.

 
 

And lo, the detached objectivty of the People Beautiful People list editors was shattered. Now that my innocence is lost, I’m beginning to question the list itself! Let this little theory blow your mind: what if, in reality, it’s actually not true that 95% of the most beautiful people in the world are currently-popular American celebrities?

 
 

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.

To which I would say to Debbie “Up against the wall, motherfucker!”

 
 

Let she who is without cellulite cast the first stone.

 
 

The box-office top ten:

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)

Fat Freddy.

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

A fat lizard.

THE BACK-UP PLAN

Jennifer Lopez is a fat pig.

DATE NIGHT

Tina Fey: blubbery ovoid.

THE LOSERS

Zoe Saldana is a tub of lard minus the tub and plus more lard.

CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010)

When Alexa Davalos sits around the house I can’t think of the end of this but HOO BOY.

KICK-ASS

Chloë Grace Moretz would be more believable as a kiddie assassin if she squashed people under her enormous creaking frame.

DEATH AT A FUNERAL (2010)

There is enough Zoe Saldana lin the world that the leftover flab acted in this movie too, though partially obscured by the whale-like Chris Rock.

FURRY VENGEANCE

Fat fucking animals demanding food. ‘Nuff said.

OCEANS

Actual whales. FAT.

 
 

Debbie Schlussel wholeheartedly supports Michelle Obama’s school lunch campaign, right?

Probably not

 
 

@actor212: Thanks for that. However, I would suggest that body-conscious readers follow BigMastadon’s lead.

That kid’s gonna get his break any day now.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m surprised to see this degree of malice from Schlussel…

Also, while Schlussel isn’t what I would consider fat, she is “fat” in the same sense that Jennifer Hudson and Jordin Sparks are “fat.”

I think you answered your own question there, D. That much fat hatred is obviously rooted in her personal issues. Think of how hateful closeted/ex-gay evangelicals are toward gays who are out, open and happy…at the very least, Gabourey should be as miserable as she is, given that she’s twice as fat!

 
Lurking Canadian
 

what if, in reality, it’s actually not true that 95% of the most beautiful people in the world are currently-popular American celebrities?

I could never understand how there is so much turnover from one year to the next. Surely if $(HOT ACTRESS) was the most beautiful woman in the world last year and she looks pretty much the same this year, she probably ought to win again? Why, maybe you’re right and this metric isn’t as useful as I’ve always thought!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sorry, there should have been quotation marks around “ex-gay.” I apologize deeply for the error.

 
The Kenosha Kid
 

Let’s face it: there have been plenty of equally ugly White fat actresses, like Camryn Manheim. And People didn’t lie to us and tell us they were the ‘World’s Most Beautiful People.’

I bet you can see where this is going…

Manheim “shows that a woman of any size can still look beautiful and sexy,”

 
 

BigMastadon’s lead.

Wasn’t he the Numma Numma guy? In that case, he’s had his fifteen minutes.

 
 

Surely if $(HOT ACTRESS) was the most beautiful woman in the world last year and she looks pretty much the same this year, she probably ought to win again?

The price triples for consecutive wins.

Lately, the studios have been backing the payola, especially if there’s a movie in the pipeline, but if you see a repeat winner, it’s usually because he’s that goddamn vain.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You know that fat ladies have made it when ABC refuses to show lingerie ads for them during Dancing with the Stars.

 
 

Remember when Debbie was upset that Tinkerbelle was dressed like a boy on the cover of a new dvd? I know someone who worked on the movie and as it turns out, that was a marketing decision to intrigue customers — Tinkerbelle was in disguise — it was part of the plot.

 
phleabo@gmail.com
 

So basically the blacky-black-black-black is a fatty-fat-fat-fat, and the lack of shame on the aforementioned fat darky’s part makes Debbie angry and is probably triggering an eating binge?

Sigh. If only Sidibe were a Muslim, too.

 
 

You know that fat ladies have made it when ABC refuses to show lingerie ads for them during Dancing with the Stars.

It wasn’t the ladies that got the ad canned. It was the word “Hell” and the movie poster placed on the wall. The ad would have been fine after 9 PM. DWTS airs at 8.

 
 

I agreez wit da kraut broad. Youze guyz iz a buncha homoze.

 
phleabo@gmail.com
 

I’m surprised to see this degree of malice from Schlussel.

Really?

 
 

“Schlussel” and “chubby” are two words that I would never use in the same sentence.

When did Debbie become an authority on beauty? It’s not like she sees any when she looks in the mirror.

 
 

When did Debbie become an authority on beauty?

You are no doubt familiar with the saying “The nearer to danger, the farther from harm”?

 
 

Debbie’s post does raise a point of concern, and that revolves around pay scales in Hollywood. Even those lucky enough to make it to the top of their profession don’t make enough to afford the trifle of a gym membership.

 
 

“The nearer to danger, the farther from harm”?
Actually, no. That’s a new one to me.

 
 

Taht sounds like a line from The Great Escape. When they go into Gestapo HQ while the Germans are looking for them.

God wins!

 
 

oh. LOTR reference.

 
 

“The nearer to danger, the farther from harm”?
Actually, no. That’s a new one to me.

I realize the books were not particularly popular and the movies did horrible box office, but didn’t anyone read the Ring trilogy? When Pippin suggests Treebeard go south past Sauron’s castle?

 
 

I’m sure, given her deep concern about the promotion of obesity in America, that Debbie Schlussel wholeheartedly supports Michelle Obama’s school lunch campaign, right?

NOEZ-bich is tryin to mind countrol are kids and feed them black food!!!!11!!!

 
 

This whole post is just a thinly veiled penis reference, what with all this talk of chubbies.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

It’s low-hanging mangoes, of course, but the real problem Schutzstaffel has with Ms. Sidibe is that a fat black woman has more black skin to hate than a thin black woman.
I don’t remember the column in which she complained about John Goodman winning the People Magazine “Sexiest Man Alive” title. Maybe that was before teh internozzle was invented.

 
 

I thought the fatties talk was a veiled joint reference. All we need are some Phillies and a forty.

 
 

I realize the books were not particularly popular and the movies did horrible box office, but didn’t anyone read the Ring trilogy? When Pippin suggests Treebeard go south past Sauron’s castle?\

Tolkien stole the ideat, obviously.

 
 

Re: Kirstie Alley – I’d hit it.

No questions asked.

And I really think Ricki Lake was MUCH more attractive back when she was heavy.

Excuse me, Lil’ Debbie – your point was, again…?

(oh, and I love the “Big Brother shouldn’t be in our kitchens or on our dinner tables.” followed by “CULTURE LIES TO US AND MAKES US THINK FAT IS SEXY”!

I can think of at least – let’s see – four things entirely wrong with that second point.)

 
 

fat black woman has more black skin to hate than a thin black woman

More flesh = more melanin = more EVIL!

 
 

Speaking of people who think they are hot stuff, SE Cupppppp is at it again.

While I actually enjoy Olbermann, I can see why he bothers some people. But, he is no Rush Limbaugh.

For instance:

Olbermann accused then-President George W. Bush of being on a “Nazi kick” and foisting “fake threats” on a “frightened nation.” He’s called conservative commentator Michelle Malkin “a big, mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.”

Those are all true.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It wasn’t the ladies that got the ad canned. It was the word “Hell” and the movie poster placed on the wall. The ad would have been fine after 9 PM. DWTS airs at 8.

The poster on the wall was a copyright issue, so why would it matter what time it was shown? As for the “hell” thing, from what I can tell, removal of the word “hell” would have allowed the commercial to be shown after 9:00, versus not at all.

I mean, I hope that this wasn’t the case, and if it wasn’t, that still doesn’t change the fact that there is a lot of weirdness surrounding women’s bodies in this culture.

 
 

… the spectre of global Chubbyism

Actually, between Costco Coulter (brilliant, BTW), K-Lo, and that ultra rude bitch, I don’t think anyone possessing sight has to worry about “Chubbyism” since that Triumvirate of DONOTWANT! don’t really cause anyone to get a chubby.

 
 

In an effort to stay on topic, how did Debbie gain “unique expertise on radical Islam/Islamic terrorism”? Can you really get Expertise through hate?

 
 

Sidibe someday could lose some weight, but Schlussel will never lose any vile.

 
 

Debbie Schlussel is one of the ugliest people I’ve never seen.

 
 

#

actor212 said,

May 5, 2010 at 15:39

Found the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVONnlnQeiE&feature=player_embedded

Only one response possible to that video, a la REDLETTERMEDIA: What’s wrong with your FACE?

(Seriously, is she injecting muscle relaxants or something? Because what else would explain that corner of her lip pulling down, like a fucking muppet?)

 
 

As for the “hell” thing, from what I can tell, removal of the word “hell” would have allowed the commercial to be shown after 9:00, versus not at all.

No, I’m afraid not.

The FCC standards are quite clear on this. If you’ve seen lingerie ads for VS or even Playtex or Hanes after 4PM and before 9PM, those have been on cable stations. Broadcast networks are barred from showing underwear before 9PM.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Speaking of people who think they are hot stuff, SE Cupppppp is at it again.

Eesh. I ain’t touching those mangoes.

I will say, though, that I find Olbermann to be self-absorbed and annoying. I don’t get why people worship him…however, he is NO Rush Limbaugh. He would have to say offensive, vile things on air for 8 hours a day for two weeks straight to even begin matching up to Limbaugh.

 
 

[Government] shouldn’t be in our kitchens or on our dinner tables.“, putting food on our families, to quote the jerk she voted for…

Yet, obesity “is unhealthy.”

Heaven forbid government be involved in educating the public about healthy eating choices and the dangers of obesity. (Though truthfully, the government’s long been bought by Food Inc. and the “food pyramid” is a load of outdated horseshit.)

 
 

Erg, weird atavistic reaction. I was thinking about whether Slush-L actually thinks she’s hot (Debbie does Politics? REALLY?) but more importantly, whether she thinks she has SCREEN PRESENCE ::shuddddder:: which she emphatically DOES NOT. THE END. ALSO. TOO.

 
 

It’s one thing to have an adult conversation about obesity. It’s another to go straight-up, delusional, venomous fat person-hatin’.

WTF is WRONG with these people? Ya know, when I was a teenager, I didn’t want to take a knife to my thighs (which were actually pretty yummy) because of all the fat chicks I saw in Vogue.

 
 

Found the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVONnlnQeiE&feature=player_embedded

OK I finally watched (got about 3 seconds in before my egg sammich came roaring back) and must ask: Who is the imposter at the top of Debbiz website?

 
 

As for the “hell” thing, from what I can tell, removal of the word “hell” would have allowed the commercial to be shown after 9:00, versus not at all.

No, I’m afraid not.

The FCC standards are quite clear on this. If you’ve seen lingerie ads for VS or even Playtex or Hanes after 4PM and before 9PM, those have been on cable stations. Broadcast networks are barred from showing underwear before 9PM.

Grrrr. I clipped the wrong quote.

The removal of the word hell would have permitted broadcast. Period.

The broadcast after 9 was an issue with respect to the lingerie, which as I point out above, was a standard and practice of the FCC of long standing. Had the woman been wearing clothes, there would have been no issue with the commercial showing during DWTS.

By the same token, had she been Claudia Schiffer in her underwear, the commercial would not have aired before 9. It really comes down to how much skin she was showing.

 
 

“I missed yesterday’s threads because I was too busy gorging myself to attain the obese body that media tells me I must have to be sexy.”

Tell me about it! If I see one more fat chick on the cover of Marie Claire, I’ll scream!

 
 

I very much want to see Sidibe and Mannheim, perhaps with Patricia Arquette and Jennifer Love Hewitt (the latter two counting as obese by Hollywood standards), bring the hurt to Schlussel. An old school beat down would be so much fun to watch (although violence is wrong…).
Pay-per-view I smell millions.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The FCC standards are quite clear on this

‘K. That’s dumb, but glad to know it wasn’t Teh Evil Fat and/or Boobies.

 
 

Remember when Debbie was upset that Tinkerbelle was dressed like a boy

Indeed I do. And I remember when she was upset about the way black people behave when they’re standing in line at the movies. And she’s upset about women playing basketball. And then she gets upset at the plot of movies. And she’s upset that Jane Fonda has a new exercise video out. And she’s upset by people’s home-made videos on Youtube….

Yep, Debbie Schlussel – I went to her archives, and it’s nothing but a screed a day about something she’s upset about.

 
 

Oh yeah, and SHE FUCKING DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO EDIT.

Whew.

I mean, neither do I, but I don’t post YouTube videos and pretend they’re a professional product. And I know what good editing looks like. So if I had a video that was as poorly edited as that one, I would be too ashamed to post it.

 
 

I still haven’t made it past her first couple sentences. Does the government now publish People magazine? Is there an Image Czar in the Obama administration that uses “Chicago-style tactics” for pro-fat causes? (If there is, is it Oprah?) and just what is Big Brother doing on my dinner table? (I hope it’s not what it looks like.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And by “boobies,” I mean, larger boobies than are considered non-slutty by some standard I haven’t quite figured out yet…

 
 

I will say, though, that I find Olbermann to be self-absorbed and annoying. I don’t get why people worship him

Yes, he is but he also provides sources and facts to the stories he reports. While I don’t worship him, his Worst Persons segment is hilarious — to me. Cupp simply doesn’t like it when people call out hypocrisy.

 
 

SUBSTANCEfor the win!!!!

“Actual whales. FAT.”

That made me laugh out loud.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

his Worst Persons segment is hilarious

I agree. The “good night and good luck” thing grates, though. Plus, I just generally prefer Rachel’s wonkiness and nerdery.

 
 

Speaking of people who think they are hot stuff, SE Cupppppp is at it again.

Sippy is getting her ass handed to her by people who remember that KO was an anchor at ESPN.

 
 

“Chicago-style tactics” for pro-fat causes?

What do you think Deep-Dish Pizza is but a liberalislamofascist plot to fatten the ENTIRE WORLD.

 
 

Also, while Schlussel isn’t what I would consider fat, she is “fat” in the same sense that Jennifer Hudson and Jordin Sparks are “fat.” She can probably explain what that means – I’m sure she’s got a couple dozen pictures of each of them on her hard drive. You know, for research.

Don’t forget Cher from Clueless as Batgirl. Not really fat, fat, just pudgier than Batgirl is (imagined) to be, and hence a whale by Hollywood standards.

(Funny story: I’m pretty sure the live action Cat Women (y’all know who I’m talking about) were skinner than Barbara Gordon was ever drawn. I mean, come on, she was tall and had precocious boobies and healthy plump cheeks. Okay, so Batgirl SHOULD have looked a bit athletic, maybe brickhouse lite, so the flab hanging down from the arms seemed a little… off. I’ll give you that. Also, in the movie she wasn’t Commissioner Gordon’s daughter but rather Alfred’s niece. Therefore the movie SUCKED. :D)

 
 

The “good night and good luck” thing grates, though. Plus, I just generally prefer Rachel’s wonkiness and nerdery.

Definitely. His “homage” comes off as jackassery. Rachel is a much better journalist. She actually interviews people who disagree with her. And they all squirm. Not because she asks tough questions, but because she digs chix.

 
 

The funniest thing about this column is knowing that Debbie herself is a chub-chub. Not on the scale of the actress she pillories, but the girl definitely likes the all-you-can-eat buffet at Golden Corral.

 
 

Wait–wait–Jennifer Hudson is fat? But she’s a singer. I thought she looked kind of normal. Been trampled by any opera singers lately?

 
 

“Chicago-style tactics” for pro-fat causes?

Obama: too thin to be president?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

And they all squirm. Not because she asks tough questions, but because she digs chix.

Well, I think the fact that she’s smart as hell is pretty intimidating, too. *sigh*

 
 

Chubbyisme is fascist française for fattitude.

 
 

Wait–wait–Jennifer Hudson is fat?

She was. She has a Jenny Craig commercial now, tho.

 
 

And by “boobies,” I mean, larger boobies than are considered non-slutty by some standard I haven’t quite figured out yet…

All boobies are slutty. That’s why Rusty Warren’s song doesn’t talk about large floppy breasts or Itty Bitty Titties, but bounceable boobies.

 
 

I will say, though, that I find Olbermann to be self-absorbed and annoying.

I liked him (but didn’t love him) up until the primaries in ’08 because he wasn’t afraid to bring on responsible spokespeople who disagreed with the conventional wisdom.

He still does that, but I think the primaries brought out a vile-ridden side of him that either he hasn’t been able to shake or I haven’t been able to ignore so easily.

(full disclosure: I supported Hillary. KO was an Obama partisan.)

 
 

Man, that rant is a perfect microcosm of the Teh Hateful St00pid, isn’t it?

Lumping together things that have nothing at all in common (in this case the commercial film biz and the evil Big Gubbmit) because both are maybe saying/doing things that the writer doesn’t like? Check.

Asserting fantasy as evidence? Check. (I mean, where the Hell are all these fat-positive Hollywood pictures? Can she name three? Yet the message from these non-existent things is “constant”.)

Using the aforementioned lumping and fantasy evidence to construct an angry, paranoid whine that let’s the writer play the victim while impugning the motives of Liberals? Check.

Constructing an argument that– if you factor out all of the obviously made-up shit, logical fallacies, and paranoia– leads any sensible reader to the conclusion that the writer just plain doesn’t like the brown people. Check and double-check.

Sheesh.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Therefore the movie SUCKED. :D)

That movie sucked for hundreds of reasons. Alicia Silverstone in tight pants is not among them.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

All boobies are slutty.

That explains so much.

That’s why Rusty Warren’s song…

Yeah, uh, forgive me, but I had to Google that.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I think the primaries brought out a vile-ridden side of him that either he hasn’t been able to shake or I haven’t been able to ignore so easily.

I totally agree. I was pretty much undecided until the last minute, but leaned toward Obama most of the time, but I still thought that he was nasty and borderline sexist. That was a rough time. I nearly lost a couple of friends over it.

 
 

Yeah, uh, forgive me, but I had to Google that.

Mea culpa. I assumed every Islamohippiefagchick listened to Randi Rhoades.

 
 

Wow. Saw actor’s video of Schlussel. The only thing that kept me from thinking it wasn’t Rachel Dratch doing a parody on SNL a few years ago was the fact that Scheissel isn’t even vaguely relevant enough to warrant network-TV satire.

 
 

That last quote. My brain melted.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I assumed every Islamohippiefagchick listened to Randi Rhoades.

Between aborting babies and indoctrinating small children in the glories of Communism, I don’t have a lot of time to listen to radio shows.

 
 

Schussssel isn’t exactly a waif herself. What a mean-spirited woman.

What a surprise. A conservative attacking someone else for issues they have about themselves…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Rachel Dratch doing a parody on SNL

I thought the same thing, but didn’t want to insult Rachel Dratch.

 
 

THE LOSERS

Zoe Saldana is a tub of lard minus the tub and plus more lard.

Funny you should mention her. Zoe (after her breakout in Star Trek, Avatar does not count because she was BLUE in that movie, I’ll get to why in a second) is a mainstream, box-office blockbuster money maker star, whereas Gabourey (who, unlike Zoe, has only started “working”) is your classic “indie” star, which isn’t to say that her name can’t make money but we’re not talking about the next lead in the next retarded lame doubleplusungood Marvel action movie.

Shlush shush Slush-El completely misses the point that Hollywood is just as lookist as ever as Zoe, while a perfectly good actress, IMO is not the actress that Gabourey is. However, Zoe does have the qualities of being competent and HOT (although a little too skinny to be Uhura, imo. really. unless they’re trying to imply that Spock sekritly likes boys, thus setting up the sequel where Kirk and Spock admit their throbbing manlove for each other. i think I would have to see that movie about TEN TIMES ARE YOU LISTENING HOLLYWOOD.).

Not only that, but Hollywood is still racist. Gabourey Sidibe was elevated to stardom by the By-Us-For-Us Black movie-making scene, the same culture that produced movies such as Barbershop. Although the same people weren’t involved, Barbershop’s success (also Spike Lee, though he’s pissy about it now) helped facilitate Tyler Perry’s move into films (psst: distribution) and of course Tyler Perry provided money to produce PRECIOUS. While this field draws on the competent film-making techniques of Big Hollywood, it most assuredly is NOT Big Hollywood. Dreamworks SKG did not fund this movie; Oprah and Tyler Perry did. Sidibe’s next film is independent as well. Nothing wrong with that–look at what John Waters did with Ricki Lake.

Now, getting back to Zoe (gain a few pounds, honey, and you will be starring in my personal masturba–ahem, where was I?), she actually labored for ten years trying to break into the big time, but was repeatedly rejected for not having the “look” they were looking for. I.E. SHE WAS BLACK. Her first big movie deal was Avatar, because, big deal, they wanted an exotic face THAT WOULD BE PAINTED BLUE ANYWAY. The second one was STAR TREK, because the “look” they were looking for WAS a black woman. Gene Roddenberry just reached out from the grave with that one, folks.

So, like most of the fanbois, I was a little pissed about her dating Spock but otoh I thought it was really cool that she was the romantic lead. It’s what Roddenberry always wanted to do with that character, but had to fight to portray on screen.

Hollywood is changing, but by little baby steps. Sometimes from the outside. Sometimes from the inside. Although Roddenberry really always was an outsider, he just helped create something that got so big that it became part of the institution, and as “the institution” it becomes “that which may not be altered” so now you must have Uhura and she must be Black–muaaaahahaha.

 
 

i think the primaries brought out a vile-ridden side of him that either he hasn’t been able to shake or I haven’t been able to ignore so easily.

I am a dork and follow KO on twitter. I asked him if he read SE Cupp trying to equate him with Limbaugh. He responded, and I quote, “JA Happ of the Phillies wrote something about me?”

 
 

All boobies are slutty.

This is why they have to be kept in cages.

 
 

Between aborting babies and indoctrinating small children in the glories of Communism, I don’t have a lot of time to listen to radio shows.

She does podcast, you know. You can listen while you perform your womanly duties in support of Comrade Mr. Mrs. T&U.

 
 

The turban-haters fap like crazy for Pam Atlas, but they just want to be friends with Lil’ Debbie.

So, this sounds like a classic case of projection to me.

 
 

The romance between Uhura and Spock were one of the many things I enjoyed about the ST remake. I thought they had pretty hot chemistry…but I admit to crushing HARD on the new Spock, so that really influenced my take on it.

 
 

Gator, two minor quibbles with your rant:

Uhura (the name alone says it) was black. A black actress had to be cast if the movie was going to be taken seriously. I’m all for non-trad casting, but that would have been a fatal marketing error.

Oprah is about as Big Hollywood as you can get.

Oh…and I think you missed that Saldana was the female lead in Drumline which, while not a blockbuster in the sense of Star Trek or Avatar, was not small potatoes at the box office in its own right, grossing $58 million.

 
 

“All boobies are slutty.

This is why they have to be kept in cages.”

So training bras DON’T work!

 
 

although a little too skinny to be Uhura, imo. really. unless they’re trying to imply that Spock sekritly likes boys

Liking skinny women does not mean you like little boys. This is a misapprehension for which I BLAME HOLLYWOOD in their eternal efforts to make us all morbidly obese.

 
 

So training bras DON’T work!

Only while they are young. When they’re beyond cub-stage, grab a chair and a whip.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

He responded, and I quote, “JA Happ of the Phillies wrote something about me?”

Ha! I saw that, actually. I am a big dork, too–Olbermann is pretty non-dorky for me, actually.

 
 

By the way, I think it’s great that the Oscars have featured women of colour much more often than in previous decades. Mo’Nique winning, Sidibe’s nomination and Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls…and not a waif among them.

 
 

So training bras DON’T work!

Depends on who’s handling the whip.

OK, God’s gonna get me for that one…

 
 

Damn you tig and your fast fingers!!!!!!

 
 

Ha! I saw that, actually. I am a big dork, too–Olbermann is pretty non-dorky for me, actually

That was me! Really.

 
 

The turban-haters fap like crazy for Pam Atlas, but they just want to be friends with Lil’ Debbie.

This is not unlike judging the quality of sewage based on how attractive it is, but I’d have to give the nod to Atlass on looks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

She does podcast, you know.

*checks podcast queue*

Yeah, that’s not going to help.

You can listen while you perform your womanly duties in support of Comrade Mr. Mrs. T&U.

That is *not* how it works around here!

 
 

That is *not* how it works around here!

All good comradettes are supposed to loyally serve their partners in the completion of their de-stressing processes! It’s in the MANUAL!

 
 

Shorter Li’l Debbie:

Oh, my God, Becky! Look at her butt…

 
 

Therefore the movie SUCKED. :D)

That movie sucked for hundreds of reasons. Alicia Silverstone in tight pants is not among them.

Help, help, I’m being misquoted! I said it sucked because _they made Batgirl Alfred’s niece_ (for some idiotic human interest plot twist reasons that all sucked because they sucked). I just also happened to point out (and this is true) that she was widely criticized for being “fat” which is actually Hollywood fat, ie, not razor thin like a CK underwear model/clothes hanger.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That was me! Really.

I believe you! I just followed you.

 
 

I can’t help wondering whether Schlussel has any friends at all. Surely if she did, one of them (or perhaps a committee) would stage an intervention and beg her to take voice lessons. Also, to scrub her face clean. She would still be purveying bullshit, but it would advance her interests to be more polished. So why doesn’t she want to advance her own interests. This perplexes me.

 
 

I just followed you.

Reason 759,216 why Twitter is for Twits: “Following” sounds like “stalking” to a sane person.

 
 

The offending passage that started the tea-bagger shuffle? Mr. Alter wrote, “Obama said that the unanimous House vote against the Recovery Act ‘set the tenor for the whole year’: ‘That helped to create the tea-baggers and empowered that whole wing of the Republican Party to where it now controls the agenda for the Republicans.’ ”

Um, excuse me, but back then, THEY CALLED THEMSELVES TEABAGGERS!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It’s in the MANUAL!

You must have an outdated copy, because that’s not what mine says. And I helped write it!

 
 

I believe you! I just followed you.

As lucky #22, you get…. nothing but nonsensical tweets.

 
 

thus setting up the sequel where Kirk and Spock admit their throbbing manlove for each other

NO SLASHFIC DO NOT WANT

(you do know there’s a whole fucking genre of exactly that, doncha?)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Reason 759,216 why Twitter is for Twits: “Following” sounds like “stalking” to a sane person.

I wish I could say this hurt my feelings, but that would be a lie. Although it is kind of sad that the highlight of my day a couple of weeks ago was when John Cole started following me.

 
 

And I helped write it!

There’s a new manual?

Who wrote the foreword? Mine still has Che Guevara!

 
 

Uhura (the name alone says it) was black. A black actress had to be cast if the movie was going to be taken seriously. I’m all for non-trad casting, but that would have been a fatal marketing error.

I thought they should have cast a Black man as McCoy. Anyway, you basically just restated my point–they can’t tinker with “success” (or tick off legions of fans–unlike [most]* comic books, where maybe 5% of the audience know “the original”, at one time about a third of all US adults considered themselves Trekkies). It’s all about the big money and not about creative freedom. So I was laughing at the irony that they’re actually strait-jacketed into hiring a Black woman … as opposed to the case with certain Marvel reboots where they’ve changed the race/gender of certain characters to enhance diversity, although they can only get away with this on less headline (or previously less headline) characters.

Roddenberry and Nichols opened some doors that had long been closed.

*superman and batman are more like star trek in this sense. and they were also tv shows. Duh.

Oprah is about as Big Hollywood as you can get.

I disagree, but I have a feeling this is a semantic argument.

Oh…and I think you missed that Saldana was the female lead in Drumline which, while not a blockbuster in the sense of Star Trek or Avatar, was not small potatoes at the box office in its own right, grossing $58 million.

Indeed I did. Never heard of it, actually.

 
 

Grover Norquist: “[Obama saying “teabagger”] is the equivalent of using the ‘n’ word. It shows contempt for middle America, expressed knowingly, contemptuously, on purpose, and with a smirk. It is indefensible to use this word…”

They called themselves that as recently as those stupid rallies last August, stapling tea bags to their hats and poorly spelled signs as badges of idiocy, as a quick google will show, so good luck shoving that down the Memory Hole.

 
 

Although it is kind of sad that the highlight of my day a couple of weeks ago was when John Cole started following me.

It’s OK, I’m not immune. I nearly did a faceplant when Michael Moore asked to be my friend.

 
 

Reason 759,216 why Twitter is for Twits: “Following” sounds like “stalking” to a sane person.

It’s actually cooler than I originally thought. For instance, when that xmas fruit of the loon bomber fiasco happened, I was the first to know!

I follow Umar.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

As lucky #22, you get…. nothing but nonsensical tweets.

You get a lot of cursing and anger at wingnuts, as well as bitching about work. In other words, expect nothing new.

Who wrote the foreword?

William Ayers. (I’ve heard a rumor that it was ghost-written by Barack Obama.)

 
 

K&S slash-fic pre-dates the internets. It actually appeared in paper ‘zines. It all kind of goes like this:

Kirk smashes Spock with a rock or an implement of some sort. “Oh! Let me be with you in your hour of pain!” cries Kirk.

Embraceage.

Spock smashes Kirk with a rock or an implement of some sort. “Oh. Let me be with you in your hour of pain,” says Spock.

More embraceage. Repeat forever.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I nearly did a faceplant when Michael Moore asked to be my friend.

I almost vomited on Patti Smith when I met her.

It’s actually cooler than I originally thought.

It really is. I opposed the idea for a long time. But it’s a great amalgamation of news source/rss feeder/social platform.

 
 

Oprah is about as Big Hollywood as you can get.

I disagree, but I have a feeling this is a semantic argument.

If you’re thinking strictly movies, in addition to Precious, she produced and starred in “Beloved,” produced “The Great Debaters,” and has an academy award nom in her own right for “The Color Purple”.

 
 

T__b_g_r = N_g__r

Okay, I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m really really tired of this “teabagger is a horrible thing to call someone borderline racist” bullshite. Coming from a group who regularly uses terms like fascist, Communist, Nazi, yadda yadda worldwithoutendamen it’s particularly rich.

 
 

Coming from a group who regularly uses terms like fascist, Communist, Nazi, yadda yadda worldwithoutendamen

Couldn’t agree more. But, then again, and such, they don’t like being called names so STOPITBEFOREiSHOOT.

 
 

Um, excuse me, but back then, THEY CALLED THEMSELVES TEABAGGERS!

“cheap and tawdry”

Okay, wow, Orwell was right. Here we have the Ministry of Information in full spin/history-rewriting mode. Yes, forget about CNBC anchor Rick Santelli on the floor of the CBT shouting “Are you listening, President Obama?” and encouraging people to mail teabags to their congresscritters, hence the name “teabagger”.

Most of the current tea partiers probably weren’t actually teabaggers, IYKWIM. You see, the teabaggers had been following the financial collapse and bailouts for months, even years (ie, before the bubble peaked) and were furious about “the undeserving” getting bailed out of their underwater mortgages (not that this _actually_ occurred much) or about losing their shirt on Merrill puts when the Bush administration’s Treasury Dept was bailing the financials out.

Some of them were even involved in very tiny protests on Wall St and DC during the waning days of the Bush Administration, without the aid of Health Lobby money to provide transportation and press. You kind of have to admire that.

Whereas the tea partiers are a bunch of confused, angry unemployed people racists who couldn’t explain the significance of the AIG bailout if their social security check depended upon it.

At first they WANTED to be associated with the tea baggers, but once the other (wink wink nudge nudge) meaning of the term was explained to them, they must write an alternative history involving Sarah Palin, an African Lion, birf surtifickettes, Pat Boone, and Real Merricans.

 
 

I can’t help wondering whether Schlussel has any friends at all. Surely if she did, one of them (or perhaps a committee) would stage an intervention and beg her to take voice lessons.

OMFSM, that monotone voice!

It could be that someone has made such a suggestion, and she has brushed them off as another liberal hater.

 
 

(you do know there’s a whole fucking genre of exactly that, doncha?)

Know about it? I used to write it!

(I like the old Spock better, though.)

 
 

Grover Norquist: “[Obama saying “teabagger”] is the equivalent of using the ‘n’ word. It shows contempt for middle America, expressed knowingly, contemptuously, on purpose, and with a smirk. It is indefensible to use this word…”

They called themselves that as recently as those stupid rallies last August, stapling tea bags to their hats and poorly spelled signs as badges of idiocy, as a quick google will show, so good luck shoving that down the Memory Hole.

But as with everything, this is the Grover Monster projecting, because when does he not unleash the dog whistles “knowingly, contemptuously, on purpose, and with a smirk“?

Isn’t this the same guy who lionized Traitor Oliver North as a Real American Hero?

 
 

Real Merricans.

This is the reason I’m surprised at Lil Debbie’s article. One would think that she wouldn’t deride* fat people because, well, her audience with most assuredly big-boned — wait, no, that’s dinosaurs.

*all night long/until heart attack

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m really really tired of this “teabagger is a horrible thing to call someone borderline racist” bullshite.

I find it tiresome any time someone compares name-calling to the n-word. Although I did once explain to a 19-year-old cowboy that he had no right to use that word because it was like a rich New Yorker coming in and calling him a redneck. I think it actually worked, believe it or not.

 
 

K&S slash-fic pre-dates the internets. It actually appeared in paper ‘zines.

In fact it predates the Star Trek movies and Gene Roddenberry actually addresses the topic in his novelization of Teh Motionless Picture.

And Larkspur, that is the best description of hurt/comfort ever. Yup, bleeding from a large gash to the head, hand-holdies…

Er, wait, that sounds a lot like the plot of Teh Motionless Picture.

 
 

I think it actually worked, believe it or not.

Sure, until he is back with his crew and find a black guy walking down the street.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Sure, until he is back with his crew and find a black guy walking down the street.

Well, yeah, but I’d like to think he wouldn’t justify it by saying, “That’s what they call each other!” Then again, he obviously wanted to get into my pants, so he may have just been pretending that I had a good point.

 
 

Er, wait, that sounds a lot like the plot of Teh Motionless Picture.

No, it sounds more like what I wanted to do to my roommate who dragged me away from a date for the midnight show on the Friday night it opened to see that overbearing piece of shit…minus the embraceage, of course

 
 

But as with everything, this is the Grover Monster projecting, because when does he not unleash the dog whistles “knowingly, contemptuously, on purpose, and with a smirk“?

Isn’t this the same guy who lionized Traitor Oliver North as a Real American Hero?

The description could also cover his other crush, the entire Bush administration. Well, “knowingly” couldn’t be applied across the board, but you know what I mean.

 
 

Well, yeah, but I’d like to think he wouldn’t justify it by saying, “That’s what they call each other!”

Great point. Uh, really. But, the reason why “That’s why the call each other” is much more than being white, having you candidate lose an election, and hating everything not like you. Obviously. And this is why Grover has not a leg to stand on… while tea bagging.

 
The Goddamn Batman Boldly Goes All Kinds Of Places, But Doesn't Necessarily Feel The Need To Announce It
 

K&S slash-fic pre-dates the internets. It actually appeared in paper ‘zines.

In fact it predates the Star Trek movies and Gene Roddenberry actually addresses the topic in his novelization of Teh Motionless Picture.

Even before that, there was a collection of fan-written ST short stories that had a preface written from the perspective of Jim Kirk in which he alludes to K/S, by way of saying that there wouldn’t be any of that in this particular book. (Although I do remember a brief scene in one story where Kirk and Spock are kidnapped by some world-spanning computer and somehow end up naked together, just before they’re rescued; throwing the ‘shippers a bone, if you will.) This would have been mid-seventies, about.

 
 

No, it sounds more like what I wanted to do to my roommate who dragged me away from a date for the midnight show on the Friday night it opened to see that overbearing piece of shit…

o.O

Dear Sir: could you please remit one(1) copy of your highly illustrated glossy news publication…

minus the embraceage, of course

never mind.

 
 

Isn’t this the same guy who lionized Traitor Oliver North as a Real American Hero?

One of the things that pisses me off more than “teabagger is racist”.

There is a nice warm spot in Hell prepared for Mr. North when the time comes. (And to be hosting a “war stories” program on top of it all – well, words just goddamn fail.)

 
 

minus the embraceage, of course

never mind.

I dunno. The bashage of rock against skull would have given me wood that night. It might have been rather…interesting.

I gave up an easy lay for that movie. I still can’t believe it. This was a woman who said “yes” when you said “hi” and meant it in every possible sense of the conversation.

 
 

FYWP…
ell, yeah, but I’d like to think he wouldn’t justify it by saying, “That’s what they call each other!”
TU – you make a great point. Being white, angry and having a “movement” less than a year old doesn’t make them any more oppressed than blacks.

 
 

One of the things that pisses me off more than “teabagger is racist”.

I always thought it was a euphemism for Retard (notsatire).

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“movement.” Heh.

 
 

Achtung! “Frau” Schlussel’s self hatred iss obviously manifesting itself vith der personal attacks against der aktresss in dis film. Ve musst help “Frau” Schlussel kome to terms vith her eminently justified self loathving. Itt goes vithout sayink dat she has der face uf a pigg und der body uf der sakk uf rancid und moldy old potatoes. (Just like der late Herr Blucher! Ho! Ho! Ho! I amm der regular Billy Krystal!)

Blucher proscribes a regular diet uff verbal contempt und beatings to help “Frau” Schlussel kome to akkcept her inner und outer ugliness. She mustt be made to wear nuffink but der potato sakk und be beaten vith stikks vherever she goess. Small childerun should be encouraged to throw brikks at der hideous kretin (or old onions at der very least), und iff she objects, der town elders should hold her down und kikk her repeatedly in der face vith der IRON BOOT! Soon, she vill kome to understand she is little else butt filth and vill stopp haranguing der restt uff uss vith her vile und uddervise worthless skreeds.

 
 

Frau Blucher

*thunder*

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIGH!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

TU – you make a great point

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, wait…

are *you* trying to get into my pants?

 
 

Frau Blucher

*thunder*

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIGH!

[sad, sideways glance]

 
 

BTW – some heavy metal band seems to have stolen all the umlauts off of Frau Blucher(NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEIGGGGGGHHH)’s post.

 
 

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, wait…

No, never. You’re married and I gave up wrecking homes for New Year’s.

 
 

some heavy metal band seems to have stolen all the umlauts

Substance is animating them.

 
 

“Stay close to the candles. The stairway mangoes can be… treacherous. “

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You’re married and I gave up wrecking homes for New Year’s.

Oooh, that’s a toughie. I tried, but utterly failed halfway through February. Maybe next year.

 
 

Vo-o-o-o-o–rm M-i-i-i—ilk?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ovaltine?

 
 

some heavy metal band seems to have stolen all the umlauts

Substance is animating them.

I thought they were supposed to be dancing badgers, not umlauts?

 
 

Maybe next year

Next year I’m giving up giving up things for new year’s.

 
 

I tried, but utterly failed halfway through February

You made it past noon??????

 
 

dancing badgers

papers, please.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You made it past noon??????

That’s only because I was hungover. For a month and a half.

 
 

That’s only because I was hungover. For a month and a half.

You were sober on New Year’s Day?????

 
 

I was hungover. For a month and a half.

You know what clears that up? Bingers and gatorade. AH! as if you need an excuse.

 
Martian Buddy
 

(Funny story: I’m pretty sure the live action Cat Women (y’all know who I’m talking about) were skinner than Barbara Gordon was ever drawn. I mean, come on, she was tall and had precocious boobies and healthy plump cheeks. Okay, so Batgirl SHOULD have looked a bit athletic, maybe brickhouse lite, so the flab hanging down from the arms seemed a little… off. I’ll give you that. Also, in the movie she wasn’t Commissioner Gordon’s daughter but rather Alfred’s niece. Therefore the movie SUCKED. :D)

TV Tropes refers to the standard physique of comic book women as “the most common super power,” noting that “average” in comics-land appears to be a D-cup.

For some reason FYWP won’t accept a hyperlink to the page, so here it is: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostCommonSuperPower

(Link probably NSFW. No bared boobies, but acres of cleavage–and that’s just Power Girl alone.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

You were sober on New Year’s Day?????

I spent it with my in-laws, so sadly, yes. *seethe*

You know what clears that up? Bingers and gatorade. AH! as if you need an excuse.

Ugh. I hate Gatorade. I’ll just stick with mimosas and coffee, thanks.

 
 

You know what clears that up? Bingers and gatorade. AH! as if you need an excuse.

I find vomitting followed by many hours of self-hatred and muttered promises to “never ever do that again…FOR REAL” are far more effective.

 
 

(you do know there’s a whole fucking genre of exactly that, doncha?)

The slash mark in Kirk/Spock is actually where the name “slash fiction” originated.

 
 

I find vomitting followed by many hours of self-hatred and muttered promises to “never ever do that again…FOR REAL” are far more effective.a enjoyable Friday night.

Fiqqz?

 
Martian Buddy
 

Um, excuse me, but back then, THEY CALLED THEMSELVES TEABAGGERS!

They even used the expression “teabag the White House.” (In fact, Jon Stewart had a clip of some Fox News reporter saying it at a tea party.) They knew damn well what it meant.

(Also, I see that WP turned that URL into a link after all. FYWP. FYMV.)

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I find vomitting followed by many hours of self-hatred and muttered promises to “never ever do that again…FOR REAL”

I actually haven’t vomited (especially from a hangover) in quite some time. I don’t know if that’s good or bad…but the headaches and general shitty feelings usually lead me to say that I am getting far to old for that kind of thing.

 
 

Fiqqz?

I don’t know that it’s “far more enjoyable” if that’s a regular feature…

 
 

My guess is that her real anger is that Gabourey Sidibe is black, with the weight a convenient dodge, just like the tea partiers are only concerned about fiscal responsibility.

 
 

Okay, you know what? And there is no snark intended here whatsoever – I’m gonna give her this one. Speaking as someone who has battled weight my entire life, I can tell you that the things we despise most about ourselves are the ones that can cause a certain type of person to absolutely demonize others. I hope I’m at least self-aware enough that I don’t treat obese people badly or differently because of my own insecurities, but I’d be lying if I said it was easy for me to understand the idea of “fat” being perceived as “beautiful and sexy.” Beautiful and sexy? Me? Hell no. I’m fat and ugly. A fat ugly bitch. A “fatuglybitch.” You hear the words joined mouth-to-anus, human centipede style a few thousand times, have them hurled at you often enough as you walk down the street, and they become all to painfully true and accurate. Fat is not sexy. Fat is what I have been for much of my life, and what Debbie has been for much of hers, and while I’m not defending her, I understand where she’s coming from. Debbie Schlussel is not only a fat woman in a culture that vilifies fat and frankly isn’t entirely sure how it feels about women, she’s a fat woman trying to make a living in a very public industry in a subculture of that culture that hates — well, practically everything. Her insecurity and self-loathing quotients are probably off the charts. So while I’m not agreeing with her, I think in the interest of humanity and empathy, I’m gonna try to make sense of it, and understand that it’s not Gaborey Sidibe that Debbie is most likely disgusted with. It’s the image in her mind of where she could end up in a few years time if she’s not constantly vigilant, and that’s kind of heart-breaking to me. Nobody should feel that way about anyone, especially not themselves, and while her attitude is nobody’s fault but her own, the source of that attitude is really much more outwardly than inwardly generated. For whatever that’s worth.

 
 

Awjeez, Sunday is Mother’s Day!

We ought to coordinate presents for DK-W’s mom. I was thinking of giving her something tasteful-yet-elegant, something fashionable but romantic and retro.

Chlamydia.

 
 

Oh, and please don’t get me wrong: Little Debbie is still a vile, shittastic excuse for a human being. I’m just saying I kind of see why she feels the way she feels, in this one particular instance.

 
 

“You, my dear lady, are amazing. The only way fat people will want to be healthy and thin is if society ostracizes them.”

from the comments at Frau Schlussel’s blog. At this point I can’t tell mockery from earnestness, so I’m just going to let it stand.

 
 

from the comments at Frau Schlussel’s blog.

I’m voting mockery with a one-and-a-half twist in the pike position and score it a nine but multiply it by 1.8 for the difficulty factor.

 
 

Hey, if PeeJ shows up – I posted his PENIS from yesterday…and then I noticed…the author of one of the columns was named “Mancum”.

Even more proof of PENIS conspiracy.

 
 

We ought to coordinate presents for DK-W’s mom.

A crab chorus line?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m just saying I kind of see why she feels the way she feels, in this one particular instance.

I understand that, but it’s no excuse. Don’t project your own internal issues and self-hatred on other people, especially in such a nasty way in a public forum.

And when I see people like Gabourey called beautiful, even if it’s in a rather tokenist and ridiculous way, I think it’s *good*, because it expands the boundaries of what’s considered beautiful for all of us.

 
The Goddamn Batman Agrees (Despite His Own Physical Condition) That The Bigger The Cushion, The Sweeter The Pushin'
 

it’s not Gaborey Sidibe that Debbie is most likely disgusted with.

Yeah, I think that that’s kind of understood.

 
 

A crab chorus line?

Oh man, now I’m picturing a bunch of crustaceans in top hats and carrying canes…”ONE! Singular sensation…every little step she takes!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

A crab chorus line?

Oh man, now I’m picturing a bunch of crustaceans in top hats and carrying canes…”ONE! Singular sensation…every little step she takes!”

Lawl. Me too.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Plus, I just generally prefer Rachel’s wonkiness and nerdery.

Me too. Plus, she’s teh hawt. Brains are sexy.

 
Martian Buddy
 

Oh man, now I’m picturing a bunch of crustaceans in top hats and carrying canes…”ONE! Singular sensation…every little step she takes!”

Or “There Is Nothing Like A Dame.”

 
 

”ONE! Singular sensation…every little step she takes!”

With D-KW’s mom, the next line is more appropriate.

 
 

And when I see people like Gabourey called beautiful

It’s odd, because every time I hear about the latest starlet and how “beautiful” she is, the first thing I think about is what she looks like without her makeup on.

Take Lady GaGa (or as I call her Gag!Gag!). Now, all dolled up, she looks…well, eyecatching is about as far as I’ll admit to.

But then I start to deconstruct her features…the weird nose, the bizarre proportions of her legs to her upper torso, the desperate eyeshadow…and I start to think, um, no, but thanks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Me too. Plus, she’s teh hawt. Brains are sexy.

Yes. Though I do wish they wouldn’t try to femme her up on the show. I like her in a polo and Buddy Holly glasses, dammit!

 
 

Lawl. Me too.

Is that you here? Sorry about farting while I laughed.

 
 

Or “There Is Nothing Like A Dame.”

For the Bob Seger fans: The Fire Down Below.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But then I start to deconstruct her features…the weird nose, the bizarre proportions of her legs to her upper torso, the desperate eyeshadow.

That’s kind of what I like about her…she’s certainly not conventionally pretty. I like that she’s a little off. I’ve never really heard anyone say that she was beautiful, but I don’t really pay attention to that kind of shit, either.

It’s worth noting that her makeup is a take on Bowie, and she draws heavily from drag queens. I don’t think she’s necessarily trying to be beautiful; she’s performing.

 
 

For the Bob Seger fans: The Fire Down Below.

Or Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver

 
 

That’s kind of what I like about her…she’s certainly not conventionally pretty.

Annie Lennox is not conventionally pretty. I don’t put GaGa on that level.

 
 

Oh man, now I’m picturing a bunch of crustaceans in top hats and carrying canes…”ONE! Singular sensation…every little step she takes!”

“But if baby I’m the bottom, you’re the top!”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Annie Lennox is not conventionally pretty. I don’t put GaGa on that level.

Neither do I. But with her I think the attraction is in the performance, not so much in her actual appearance. I actually don’t find her that hot, but compared to a lot of pop starlets, she’s much more interesting (and much smarter), which I do like.

 
 

I actually don’t find her that hot, but compared to a lot of pop starlets, she’s much more interesting (and much smarter), which I do like.

Granted, it’s hard to find anyone these days who can quote Rilke.

 
 

“But if baby I’m the bottom, you’re the top!”

Why do birds suddenly appear/Every time you are near?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Granted, it’s hard to find anyone these days who can quote Rilke.

Maybe not, but I totally heard Taylor Swift quote Heidegger the other day.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

N__B, I hate you.

 
 

N__B, I hate you.

Because of the earworm or the tropeworm?

 
 

Why do birds suddenly appear/Every time you are near?

Could be the smell.

 
 

Why do birds suddenly appear/Every time you are near?

Goddamn tick birds*.

*aka “oxpeckers,” a name that really needs a veil.

 
 

Did anyone see this on a previous page (http://www.debbieschlussel.com/21370/avoiding-prison-for-manslaughter-tackiest-first-lady-memoir-ever/#comments)

KS: As you well know, this was not an “accident.” It was deliberate. I see plenty of cases on a regular basis where people who kill someone with far less carelessness in their car, do years of jailtime. Years. Your claim that only when it involves alcohol is there jailtime is simply incorrect. It is vehicular homicide or at the very least manslaughter. It is, indeed, criminal. DS

Kaiser Sozay on May 4, 2010 at 4:14 pm

And then five comments down, when asked for proof that it was deliberate, debbuh sez:

KS: No-one said it was “deliberate.” Again, you refuse to read what I actually wrote and instead lie about it or claim I “inply” and “infer” what I do not. She did NOT stop at the stop sign. She did not pay attention to the road. She deserved to serve time, and in most Michigan courthouses where I’ve been, I see judges send people to jail for this kind of negligence all the time. So sad that you think this is okay pimping material to sell a book. DS

Kaiser Sozay on May 4, 2010 at 4:52 pm

 
 

“oxpeckers,” a name that really needs a veil.

As opposed to woodpeckers, who need two.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Because of the earworm or the tropeworm?

The earworm, but I initially mis-read “tropeworm” as “tapeworm,” and was trying to figure out why you had a tapeworm and how I would get it over the internet.

 
 

trying to figure out why you had a tapeworm

To measure buildings if I forget my folding ruler. Yes, VPR.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

To measure buildings if I forget my folding ruler. Yes, VPR.

Wow, that’s an awfully big ruler.

Also, gross.

 
 

Also, gross.

Ask D-KW about his run-in with a cop’s collapsable baton.

 
 

Ask D-KW about his run-in with a cop’s collapsable baton.

Is that when he backed into it a few dozen times?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ask D-KW about his run-in with a cop’s collapsable baton.

Given the context, I think I’d rather not.

 
 

was trying to figure out why you had a tapeworm and how I would get it over the internet

The same way you gave me my “infection”…

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

The same way you gave me my “infection”…

What??? *You* gave it to *me*!

Er. I mean…I have no idea what you’re talking about…

 
 

Chlamydia, oh Chlamydia, Say, have you met Chlamydia, Chlamydia the backseat lay-dee!

 
 

You say clam-id-i-a, I say clo-ma-di-a
Let’s call the whole thing off

 
 

I said it sucked because _they made Batgirl Alfred’s niece_

That was hardly the biggest problem it had.

 
 

Chlamydia, oh Chlamydia, Say, have you met Chlamydia, Chlamydia the backseat lay-dee!

She has eyes that suit a whore so
And a torso even more so

 
 

Clap! Clap! Clap! went my “trolley”…

 
 

Don’t cry for me, I’ve candidaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 
 

One, Two, Three O’clock, Four O’clock rock,
Five, Six, Seven O’clock, Eight O’clock rock.
Nine, Ten, Eleven O’clock, Twelve O’clock rock,
We’ve gotta pox around my cock tonight.

 
 

Granted, it’s hard to find anyone these days who can quote Rilke.

I can quote Ruckert, but only to Mahler.

trying to figure out why you had a tapeworm

To measure buildings if I forget my folding ruler. Yes, VPR.

Does yours have a lock and push-button retraction?

Ask D-KW about his run-in with a cop’s collapsable baton.

I first read that as “nun-in” and was impressed how you got so many masochist sex tropes in.

 
 

Speaking of teh hawt: Check this out.

 
 

roseyv said,

May 5, 2010 at 18:46

Okay, you know what? And there is no snark intended here whatsoever – I’m gonna give her this one. Speaking as someone who has battled weight my entire life, I can tell you that the things we despise most about ourselves are the ones that can cause a certain type of person to absolutely demonize others

Okay, but don’t you feel the slightest bit of personal satisfaction? Vindication? You don’t view this as positive change? I don’t give Debz the slightest bit of latitude to viciously attack someone who, in spite of having the odds stacked against her in every respect except acting talent, succeeds in a society that idolizes thin girls with big boobs and pretty smiles. I’m just a thin white guy of average looks. I could easily fall into the social trap of thinking “wtf, this chick is fat and ugly”, but I don’t want to be that kind of douchebag. Debbie should refrain from being that kind of asshole too.

 
 

was impressed how you got so many masochist sex tropes in.

Squeeze them really hard.

 
 

Does yours have a lock and push-button retraction?

That’s fancy new-fangled shit. I prefer old shit: mine’s a carpenter’s rule.

 
 

…collapsable baton…

Well, actually it was an expandable baton at first. Totally heterosexually of course.

 
 

mine’s a carpenter’s rule.

“If she’s flat as a board, she’s easy to screw”?

 
 

“If she’s flat as a board, she’s easy to screw”

Could be worse: the Pirate’s Rule is “Screw her if she’s got a sunken chest”

 
 

When the only tool* you have is a hammer*, everything looks like a nail*.

*You know the drill**.

**You know the drill*** recursively.

***VPRs all the way down.

 
 

When the only tool* you have is a hammer*, everything looks like a nail*.

Is that why DKW’s mom always sings “If I Had A Hammer”?

 
 

Okay. Scrolling up through the comments in reverse chrono order, I see there is no fucking way I’ll fihure out what the fuck is going on here. I’ll just wait for the next thread.

 
 

I see there is no fucking way I’ll fihure out what the fuck is going on here

We’re working on a musical for an all crab-lice cast.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Genius
 

Hi, I’m Jonah, all I have to say to you left wingers is: HA HA! While you were hoping and praying (or preying) that the Time Square bomber was a white guy with a grudge, I knew he was gonna be brown. Like I say in the column my mom got for me, “If this had been some Tim McVeigh type… …[Frank Rich] would certainly be smug and righteous…” Now it’s MY turn to be smug and righteous. There’s a difference between rightwing extremism and Islamoextermekillingmachines — rightwing extremism is justified.

PS: HA! HA! HA!

 
 

Okay. Scrolling up through the comments in reverse chrono order, I see there is no fucking way I’ll figure out what the fuck is going on here. I’ll just wait for the next thread.

Good call, PeeJ.

Also, it should be a crab/lice cast. Using the slash mark. So we can has fic.

 
 

crab/lice cast.

Worst orthopedist ever.

 
 

We’re working on a musical for an all crab-lice cast.

Phantom of the Underwear

 
Martian Buddy
 

The Pirates of Underpants.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Genius
 

The Pelican Briefs

 
 

Hi, I’m Jonah

Hi Jonah. I’m actually most interested in the HA HA GREEKS GO SUCK IT dance going on at The Corner.

 
 

One has to love Jonah. He gets this from a reader:

“A lot of liberals seem very keen to minimize or dismiss the reality of Islamic terrorism while working devilishly hard to create a false reality that the real threat is from American citizens.”

The man who was arrested last night WAS an American citizen. Your story contains the implicit assumption that ” American citizens” are people like us, while the Islamic terrorists are the “others”. Something you need to be aware of. I hope you take this as an observation, more then a criticism.

Does he go back and admit that his “people like us” is an huge assumption and that maybe that same illogic applies to saying that Frank Rich all but would have rubbed his hands in glee should the bomber have turned out to be a white ringer? Nope.

Does he go back and revisit his original assumption with respect to his little inner voice telling him it was a brown-person Muslim terrorist, even tho it was correct, to caution himself about profiling? Nope.

All he does is go back to strike out “American citizen” and replace it with “American rightwinger”.

This intellectual bantamweight ought to surrender whatever little cardboard title belt he was handed by Ramesh Ponorru in exchange for Ponurru’s sponsorship to citizenry.

 
 

Schlussel is a freaking moron.Is there some sort of operation one can get to supersize one’s whiny arseness? Obviously it must be expensive since it seems to be only applied to right wing idjuts.

 
 

Also, it should be a crab/lice cast.

Wet Side Story

 
Jonah Goldberg, Genius
 

Hi Substance. Well, if you don’t realize, they have people in their country who are crazy enough to lash out at the system. You see, in our civilized country, when we get screwed financially we just take it — like patriots. In all honesty, they’re little deaths won’t affect my pay check.

 
 

Oh Subby, look it’s Nile on teh Corner.
One doesn’t get the “Embalming Accidents” picture, but the whole box of Krazy popcorn is there. Oh he’s special!!

 
 

You see, in our civilized country, when we get screwed financially we just take it — like patriots.

Why, Jonah! You’ve read my blog…again!

 
Jonah Goldberg, Genius
 

Look, actor, just because I cherry-pick those who commit disasters happen to be from a group I do not like doesn’t mean that I did so to make a political point. I did it to make a political point, gosh.

 
 

So you might say it’s right in the middle of your position, so to speak, Jonah?

 
 

Hey, Jonah?

Eric Rudolph killed more people with the Atlanta Olympic bombing (nevermind the other killings) than any Muslim terrorist since 9/11, but he’s a white conservative Republican.

Comments?

 
 

The Corner’s pretty good today:

Are Tea Partiers Racist? [Peter Kirsanow]

Today’s Washington Post has an article titled “Tea party groups battling perceptions of racism.” A Post poll shows that 61 percent of opponents of the tea-party movement believe “racism has a lot to do with the movement.”

Now, where in the world could that perception have come from?

Mr. Kirsanow then goes on to blame people calling the Tea Party groups racist rather than actual racism evident on the part of participants.

 
 

Jonah,

Shouldn’t it be Super-Genius?

D-KW

 
 

I hope you take this as an observation, more then a criticism.

I want this to be a subtle statement of what is in fact central to his point, more than just a typo.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Genius
 

Why, Jonah! You’ve read my blog…again!

No. I get the RSS feed don’t. I also don’t wonder “where our money goes” because I know where it goes: to the corporations. And without those corporations we wouldn’t have the great nation of debtors, those deadbeat sick people begging for health care, or liberals who want to “distribute the wealth”. Lemme ask you, if we redistribute wealth, what will be the point of being white anymore? You’re willing to allow people not to make 100s of millions of dollars just so other people — poor people at that — can live? Psycho talk.

 
Martian Buddy
 

Daniel Foster demonstrates that he doesn’t know many leftists:

But how many on the left will blame Obama’s decision to expand the war against the Taliban into sovereign Pakistan as “creating more terrorists”?

Yeah, it’s not like people have been saying that ever since the drone strikes started. Oh, wait, it is like that.

Fucktard.

 
 

Now, where in the world could that perception have come from?

Golly, I do not know. Perhaps a Lyin’ African has witch doctored them and white-enslaved their brains?

 
 

I love the name costco-Coulter. How much did she pay for that glammed up picture and what on Earth is the point of it anyway?Why have a picture of yourself from 20 years ago touched up?

If someone met her after seeing that picture they would assume that she was seriously ill and after speaking with her they would have confirmed that she is sick in more ways than one.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

So you might say it’s right in the middle of your position, so to speak, Jonah?

Technically, yes.

Shouldn’t it be Super-Genius?

Definitely, yes. Thank you.

Eric Rudolph killed more people with the Atlanta Olympic bombing (nevermind the other killings) than any Muslim terrorist since 9/11, but he’s a white conservative Republican.

Yes, I would like to comment. He had a legitimate cause in trying to end abortion for his Faith.

 
 

Lemme ask you, if we redistribute wealth, what will be the point of being white anymore?

Camouflage during snowstorms?

 
 

Yes, I would like to comment. He had a legitimate cause in trying to end abortion for his Faith.

So you’re saying he was trying to prove a point about killing white babies thru some ungodly mechanical means like abortion.

Which is not at all like, say, killing born brown babies thru some humane and godly mechanical means like Predator drones dropping missiles from 30,000 feet.

I see your point, now.

 
 

Camouflage during snowstorms?

When I am out in snowstorms I really do have to pipe up to get anyone to notice that I am running around naked.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

Camouflage during snowstorms?

I meant besides that. Honestly, if you make it harder for whites to make a buttload of money, what would be so great about being one? No one would think you’re better, or smarter, or, in my case incidentally, sexier.

And don’t get me started on MERIT. Highly overrated. Look at me, for instance.

 
 

Lemme ask you, if we redistribute wealth, what will be the point of being white anymore?

Camouflage during snowstorms?

Hateful. There’s also vitamin D and skin cancer.

 
 

if you make it harder for whites to make a buttload of money, what would be so great about being one?

You’d still have been created in God’s image. After all, look at Jesus! He was blonde, blue eyed, wholly white.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

I see your point, now.

Glad we’re seeing eye to eye. Like two cyclops.

One thing needs fixing tho:

Predator drones dropping missiles from 30,000 feet heaven.

 
 

Predator drones dropping missiles from heaven.

Every time a Paki dies, an angel gets his gunner’s patch.

 
 

if you make it harder for whites to make a buttload of money, what would be so great about being one?

Don’t worry, we’ll still be the skin color of choice for viking reenactors.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

You’d still have been created in God’s image. After all, look at Jesus! He was blonde, blue eyed, wholly white.

Great point, again. We’re, like, totally, the same person. But, *somehow* there are people who don’t believe that type of propaganda. Someone told me once, “How could a Jew from the Middle East look like Lorenzo Lamas?” I said, “Easy” and walked away.

 
Martian Buddy
 

I’m black haired and gray-eyed–I must be part demon. 🙁

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

I’m black haired and gray-eyed–I must be part demon. 🙁

Yes, please go to Pakistan and look up.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

You’d still have been created in God’s image. After all, look at Jesus! He was blonde, blue eyed, wholly white.

Don’t forget people, I’m Jewish. Like Jesus. But, he’s not Neo. I am.

 
 

“How could a Jew from the Middle East look like Lorenzo Lamas?”

I’m familiar with the Lamasteins.

 
 

Don’t worry, we’ll still be the skin color of choice for viking reenactors.

Spam, spam, spam, spam

 
 

I said, “Easy” and walkddled away.

For obvious reasons.

 
 

Don’t forget people, I’m Jewish.

You are not, you’re Episcopaleion.

 
 

Don’t worry, we’ll still be the skin color of choice for viking reenactors.

!!!!!!

Think of the kittens! What will they do without their jobs????

 
gocart mozart
 

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/05/gops-candidate-for-gov-in-minnesota-wants-to-nullify-all-federal-laws.php

“Emmer was first elected to the Minnesota House of Representatives in 2004. Just this past March, he was a co-author of a proposed state constitutional amendment that would, to borrow the words of Nigel Tufnel, turn the Tenth Amendment all the way up to 11, with Minnesota preemptively nullifying all federal laws unless a state supermajority consents to them. Here is the key quote from the amendment’s text: “A federal law does not apply in Minnesota unless that law is approved by a two-thirds vote of the members of each house of the legislature and is signed by the governor. Before voting to approve a federal law, each legislator must individually affirm that the legislator has read the federal law and understands it.”

 
 

Jonah’s Jewish except he’s got a deadline and probably hasn’t given it the consideration that it deserves. More later.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

Spam, spam, spam, spam

Speaking of which, my bestest friend in teh whole widest wide world, Ben Shapiro and I were just hanging out drinking decaf (caffeine is a dangerous drug) when this guy came up to us. He looked out of breath and I asked him “Hey, do you know who we are?” He goes, “No.” As if we meant nothing. Well, Ben didn’t like this and, after the guy walked away Ben says to me “You know something, Jay, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think we’re nobodies.” I was flabbergasted. Ben Shapiro, I’m sorry, The Great Ben Shapiro, doesn’t think we’re anybody. Wow. I don’t know where I was going with this but, WOW.

 
 

gocart mozart said,

May 5, 2010 at 21:30

I’m thinking he hasn’t read his own state Consitution, Article II, Section 1, wherein they agree to be accepted as a state under the US Constitution and unable to declare themselves “special” (insert shortbus jokes here) with Congressional authorization.

 
Jonah Goldberg, Super-Genius
 

You are not, you’re Episcopaleion.

Uh, then why’d I get all those electronic calculators for my Bat Mitzvah?

 
 

Uh, then why’d I get all those electronic calculators for my Bat Mitzvah?

That was Mother’s Day.

 
 

declare themselves “special” (insert shortbus jokes here) without Congressional authorization.

Apparently, my brain is still faster than my fingers.

At least, that’s what she said.

 
 

This thread goes to actor! Bravo, sir, for realizing how much artifice goes into making Hollywood types attractive. I won’t even get into all the surgery…The vast majority of them do not have their original noses and they ALL have veneers….to a person.

 
 

The vast majority of them do not have their original noses and they ALL have veneers….to a person

Whoa, slow down. I’ve seen Michelle Pfeiffer pre-dressing room. I’d still match her up against her glamshots.

 
 

And keep in mind, this school, Rodeph Sholem, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, was virtually a madrassa of knee-jerk Jewish liberalism.

Jewish, madrassa of liberalism…? WTF?

Super Genius© indeed.

 
 

Well she is incredibly gorgeous. A TRUE beauty.

 
 

I’ve seen Michelle Pfeiffer pre-dressing…

I! N? W?

 
 

a madrassa of knee-jerk Jewish liberalism

they indoctrinated the pupils with pre-med and pre-law courses, then sent them out into the world as suicide lawyers and doctors.

 
 

DKW,

Here. Keep in mind she’s older than me. I think. I don’t remember.

 
 

Here. Keep in mind she’s older than me. I think. I don’t remember.

She’s dressed in that one. Wiki says her 58th birthday was last week.

 
 

PeeJ? I posted to you earlier…still here?

I posted your PENIS from yesterday over at my place…did you notice that the author of the third column was named “Mancum”?

It’s like PENIS on top of PENIS.

 
 

Wiki says her 58th birthday was last week.

She can’t be that much older than me.

She’s dressed in that one.

Hey, I told her those were our special photographs.

So you’ll have to pay for them.

 
 

did you notice that the author of the third column was named “Mancum”?

It’s like PENIS ICING on top of PENIS.

Fixed!

 
 

Another thought about Debbie’s temper-tantrum-in-the-grocery-store style rant about an “undesireable” being recognized as beautiful:

My personal observations lead me to believe that conservatives cling desperately to tradition and convention and tend to fear and loathe things they don’t understand or dislike. Ms. Sidibe starred in a very successful “gangsta lit” film adaptation. I wonder if this break from the tradition of say, another fucking formulaic superhero movie, into something fairly new and not widely accepted is part of this as well. I think that the triumph of a movie that doesn’t star Ken and Barbie Whitehausen feels like a threat to the sadly stupid.

(My sincere apologies to the Goddamn Batman, who has very courageously appeared unmasked in several outstanding films, while cleverly hiding his identity by appearing to be a different man in each film…Goddamn Batman? More like Goddamn Genius)

Just an incoherent thought–maybe one of you can translate that into something comprehensible.

 
 

Hey, I told her those were our special photographs.

Wait – are you also in these photographs? I’m starting to lose interest here.

 
 

Ms. Sidibe starred in a very successful “gangsta lit” film adaptation. I wonder if this break from the tradition of say, another fucking formulaic superhero movie, into something fairly new and not widely accepted is part of this as well.

No doubt some of the cultural implications and aspects of the film unnerved her, and probably pissed her off too. The story itself is about as depressing (and yet uplifting at the same time) as you can imagine, and on some level, Debbie must be shitting a brick to think in America, a young girl can be treated like that, even if it’s one of them.

And the fact that Precious imagines herself as a thin white girl must have hit pretty close to home with Debbie, who probably imagines herself as a thin, white girl, as well.

 
 

Wait – are you also in these photographs?

Not all of them. I give a discount for those.

 
 

you convinced me, actor. I’ll have an order of Kirstie Alley with a side of Michelle Pfeiffer.

And Gabourey Sibide for dessert.

 
 

He still does that, but I think the primaries brought out a vile-ridden side of him that either he hasn’t been able to shake or I haven’t been able to ignore so easily.

Actor212, are you really in a position to accuse others of showing a “vile-ridden side” during the primaries?

 
 

Hey, since this thread is kind of all over the place now, would it be ok to post about how the new business is going? I’d do it at my blog but…since I deal with schools and whatnot, I’d prefer my customers not connect me to my blog, and it would be very easy to make the connection in talking about the business. This is why I don’t do Facebook – it’s worse than useless because I can’t really say anything about what I think without running the risk of offending some customer who may have different ideas than I do about stuff that has NOTHING to do with business. People can and do choose to do business with shittier alternatives because of things like that.

Just asking, so no one will tell me how I should post it on my own blog.

 
 

o hai Jennifer. I kept mum about “Mancum” so others would have the joy of seeing it themselves because it’s so sweet.*

*Not a veiled banana reference.**
** Not a veiled …OH SHIT IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN!

 
 

Hey, since this thread is kind of all over the place now, would it be ok to post about how the new business is going?

Shit, if somebody can’t deal with a little OT at Sadly, they probably shouldn’t be here.

Fire away.

 
 

I DEMAND WE STAY ON TOP…ooooh SHINY!

 
 

I DEMAND WE STAY ON TOP…ooooh

That’s what yer mom said! Hey, wait – I mean that’s what your – crap, I really found a FOOTBULLET there didn’t I?

 
 

I DEMAND WE STAY ON TOP

You do take after your mom, doncha?

 
 

Heh.

 
Alkonholics Untie!
 

Why does Debbie talk out of the side of her mouth like that? Did she have a stroke?

 
 

Have I been here long enough to make jokes about DKW’s mom? I feel like it’s a SN rite of passage.

 
 

@ Zombie;

Nice fucking curb job you gave the fuckfaced, entitled, bratty dicklord stockbroker on your blog. tsam likey. Mind if I keep one of the broken shards of teeth scattered all over the street?

 
 

would it be ok to post about how the new business is going?

I second ZRM’s shambling.

 
 

Why does Debbie talk out of the side of her mouth like that? Did she have a stroke?

She’s trying to keep her fangs concealed with her lips.

 
 

“Shit, if somebody can’t deal with a little OT at Sadly, they probably shouldn’t be here.”

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2010/05/05/i-hope-these-people-go-to-hell/#comment-1743560

This video will piss you the fuck off. Warning: Not safe for dog lovers.

It is unclear how the Tea-Baggers will react. The suspect appears to suffer from a melanin defeciency. If in addition to that he is a Libertarian or a registered Republican then this is a clear case of Obama-Hitlerism and jack booted Commie-Fascism. If suspect is Hispanic or a DFH then move along nothing to see here.

 
 

Have I been here long enough to make jokes about DKW’s mom? I feel like it’s a SN rite of passage.

Be careful of the crossfire between actor212 and DKW. If there were anything breakable between my ears, I’d be screwed–and not in a “your mom” kinda way.

 
 

Have I been here long enough to make jokes about DKW’s mom? I feel like it’s a SN rite of passage.

Ask not what you can do for D-KW’s mom. Ask what she will do for you for under $5.

 
 

Jennifer: I’d be wary about posting stuff about work here. Not that I don’t wanna hear stories, because the old boss provided me with amusement, but you seem to have a public presence that’s linked to your real identity, and a little Google-fu goes a long way for a jerk who wants to make trouble.

You might wanna consider a linkless alter-ego here.

 
 

Ok, so…the business stuff has been slow so far, mostly because people make contracts one semester ahead of time, so your first semester out, you just aren’t going to find many customers who aren’t already locked in. So it’s going to be a lean summer with lots of temp and part time work on my part…but the good news is I think next fall we’re going to really kick ass. We did the state PTA convention exhibit last weekend, and for once, the inbred nativism of this state is really working FOR me. We went around the state and found small companies making really great stuff, mostly food items, and offered them a spot in our “Arkansas Products” school fundraising catalog. Then, we started making a lot of noise about how at least $2.5 million goes out of state every year to buy the heavily processed crap they’ve been selling, and asked them if it made sense for Arkansas schools to be undercutting their own tax base and communities by doing business that way. And of course, it doesn’t. The bonus is, all of our stuff is better – some is organic, most is free of preservatives, and all of it is – and tastes like – real food. Plus we’re offering stuff that people would be buying anyway – so they can buy a gourmet or better version for just a few bucks more than they would spend on it at the grocery store – instead of dropping $15 on a 3′ wide piece of wrapping paper they didn’t need or a tub of chemicals calling itself “cookie dough”. We’ve got locally packaged coffee, a variety of fresh salsas, fruit-only preserves, organic pancake, cornbread, hot roll, and biscuit mixes, berry syrups, cheese straws & cookies, soy-wax candles, nut brittles, bath products, and even famous Petit Jean ham, bacon, and sausage – including deer sausage for the guys.

So anyway, I was dragging ass going into the convention, really stressed out, but things just blew up from doing that – we made advocates out of the state PTA, and I got such a huge kick out of telling everyone who stopped by that “if you’re doing a fundraiser with anyone else in this room, you’re sending at least 30% of every dollar you collect to another state.”

I just love it when a plan comes together.

 
 

Substance – oh, great…NOW you tell me….

 
 

I just love it when a plan comes together.

Speaking as a semi-successful entremanure, selling something that people actually want and need beats the hell out of marketing as an overall plan of action.

 
 

Substance – oh, great…NOW you tell me….

I don’t think you posted anything to take issue with. Good work and good luck.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

This video will piss you the fuck off. Warning: Not safe for dog lovers.

My husband was telling me about this yesterday. This is where we fucking live. Our police department is becoming increasingly authoritarian and scary–we’ve had at least 3-4 tasings in the past year.

I can’t watch the video. THEY SHOT A CORGI. 🙁

 
 

Good work and good luck.

Substance is Keith Olbermann?

Does that mean that Righteous Bubba fella is Ed Schultz?

Sounds good, Jennifer. Starting a business in bad times is terrifying, but you learn how to make every dollar count.

Now if only I could remember.

Oh, and thanks, tsam. Go back a few posts and read my review of Peter Gabriel’s new album.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Jennifer–That sounds awesome! Good luck with it!

 
 

This video will piss you the fuck off. Warning: Not safe for dog lovers.

Also not safe for non-supporters of the American Police State.

between that and the AZ law, Gitmo, the tasering of the kid on the baseball field….remind me again of all the ways we are morally superior to the Nazis?

 
 

Speaking as a semi-successful entremanure, selling something that people actually want and need

People want engineering?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Oh, and that dude lives in a nice, quiet (ie white) part of town. I’m fucking sick about it.

 
 

People want engineering?

People want engineering. I have to beat groupies off [VMR] with a stick [VPR]. What’s really pathetic is that I’m not entirely joking.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Supposedly, that kid wasn’t supposed to be home when they raided the house. Why the fuck they needed SWAT for a guy who, at most, was a small-time dealer is beyond me.

 
 

remind me again of all the ways we are morally superior to the Nazis?

We support Michael Bay instead of Leni Riefenstahl.

 
 

“N__B said,
May 5, 2010 at 22:46

Have I been here long enough to make jokes about DKW’s mom? I feel like it’s a SN rite of passage.

Ask not what you can do for D-KW’s mom. Ask what she will do for you for under $5.”

Like whitewashing my fence? That sounds swell.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Okay, I exaggerated. We’ve only had 3 tasings. All of which were for fucking ridiculous reasons.

 
 

Substance – the next step is, a mailing to school board members. Those guys are ELECTED and this is an election year – I’m sure quite a few of them would love to have a “more-supportive-of-the-state” soapbox to stand on. Then they lean on the supers, who lean on the principals…and before long, no one else can find a school that will work with them. Did I mention that we got EXCLUSIVES with our suppliers? They can’t place their products in a catalog for any other fundraising company doing business in the state. So when our competitors try to copy us, they’re going to find themselves shut out from the best stuff.

 
 

Those guys are ELECTED

They’re also ordinarily thrilled to get attention.

 
 

remind me again of all the ways we are morally superior to the Nazis?

Um…

Oh, I got it! Wait, no, that’s not right either. Um….

fuck. I got nothing.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

fuck. I got nothing.

We speak English?

 
 

“remind me again of all the ways we are morally superior to the Nazis?”

Buggs Bunny?

 
 

We speak English?

At leest gooder enlgish then the germ assholz. Yah–whatcha got to say now, smartypants?

 
 

Buggs Bunny?

Oh—Well played, sir. WELL played.

 
 

Ask not what you can do for D-KW’s mom. Ask what she will do for you for under $5.”

Like whitewashing my fence? That sounds swell.

Hee hee. Whitewashing.

 
 

People want engineering. I have to beat groupies off [VMR] with a stick [VPR]. What’s really pathetic is that I’m not entirely joking.

Crap. That means I SHOULD have stayed in engineering school?

 
 

We support Michael Bay instead of Leni Riefenstahl.

I would argue that that makes us more questionable, morally.

 
 

People want engineering. Someone has to make sure the trains run on time.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

We support Michael Bay instead of Leni Riefenstahl.

I would argue that that makes us more questionable, morally.

Fine. We kill Semitic people over there instead of here. That good enough for you?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Uh, did I kill the thread? Sorry.

 
 

Uh, did I kill the thread? Sorry.

No, I prefer it this way.

 
 

“Uh, did I kill the thread? Sorry.”

Nah, just a flesh wound.

 
 

Keith said,
May 5, 2010 at 22:14

Actor212, are you really in a position to accuse others of showing a “vile-ridden side” during the primaries?

When I get millions for espousing my positions on national teevee, you’d have a point besides the one on your head. But I’m glad that you’re such a fanboi. Does me proud to know I’ve had such a profound and memorable impact on you. 🙂

 
 

Grr, iPhone snarking is hard werk.

 
 

Have I been here long enough to make jokes about DKW’s mom?

I think you’d been here long enough for that the first time you posted. Everybody knows she’s a hoo-er is all I’m saying.

 
 

Everybody knows she’s a hoo-er

She’s from Indiana?

 
 

No, that would be h**sier. The Septagrammaton.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Uh, did I kill the thread? Sorry.

No, I prefer it this way.

I hope you enjoy. I happen to be a very good cook.

 
 

Hollywood is changing, but by little baby steps. Sometimes from the outside. Sometimes from the inside. Although Roddenberry really always was an outsider, he just helped create something that got so big that it became part of the institution, and as “the institution” it becomes “that which may not be altered” so now you must have Uhura and she must be Black–muaaaahahaha.

Which is why I reserve a special amount of bile in an easily throwable form for C***S like Debbie. I, for one, am glad that movie culture, while dominated by formulaic dogshit, still produces these kinds of films that actually have some expression of real life in them. Things that promote thought, that don’t showcase the next fucking entitled snatch like Megan Fox, and generally reflect a side of life that we don’t really like to look at. I have had my fill of shitty horror movies (like any horror movie), superhero garbage (the last Superman um, thing), shitty remakes of shitty old movies/tv shows (The Dukes of Hazzard), and coming of age stories that seem to have been written by 13 year old cheerleaders. I like to ogle a hot chick as much as the next leacherous old man, but shit, even that gets old after a while. Well, no it doesn’t. But I still like films that take a chance with someone like Gabourey.

 
 

Septagrammaton.

HEY! HEY! Watch what you say!

My grandma was a saint. Well, actually a trotskyite living in the Bronx, but that’s very saint-like.

 
 

I can’t watch the video. THEY SHOT A CORGI. 🙁

GAAHHH! We have two in the house, one that got hit by a car recently (but is doing just fine now, thick skull and all) and the smartest, most devilish female (Yes, I have a web site, etc) who gets into everything.

Shooting Corgis? Sign of the apocalypse, if you ask me.

 
 

Nah, just a flesh wound

Gocart gives good memory.

 
 

I hope you enjoy. I happen to be a very good cook.

Pshaw. Zombies aren’t particular, you know.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Shooting Corgis? Sign of the apocalypse, if you ask me.

I know! The pit bull made a little bit of sense, but a corgi??? I think it lived, though, at least. I feel so horrible for that little kid.

Seriously. I have to get out of here before they wall this place up like the fucking Republic of Gilead.

 
 

Lay off DKW’s mom. She’s Deekaydoubleyumomaliscious!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I hope you enjoy. I happen to be a very good cook.

Pshaw. Zombies aren’t particular, you know.

I know. I was trying to be hospitable! See if I ever go out of my way to be nice to you again.

 
 

See if I ever go out of my way to be nice to you again.

Cue music

He always bites
The one he meets
The one he shouldn’t bite at all

End music

 
 

Hollywood is changing, but by little baby steps.

Blacklists for whiteys!

 
 

Wow. So Sarah Palin’s tweeting her words of wisdom. The Gulf oil spill is a lesson to us all not to trust those evil foreign old companies….like BP. The company that employed her husband for some 18-odd years.

 
 

Blacklists for whiteys!

Oh goody, another solid defense for the downtrodden, oppressed white male! Our numbers are growing (VPR) every day.

 
 

Our numbers-nuts are growing every day.

Fiqqst for extra VPRitude.

 
 

Wow. So Sarah Palin’s tweeting her words of wisdom. The Gulf oil spill is a lesson to us all not to trust those evil foreign old companies….like BP. The company that employed her husband for some 18-odd years.

BAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Congrats, Tea Party, you found yourself a brilliant hood ornament in this Sarah Failin!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Blacklists for whiteys!

There’s so much projection there, I don’t even know where to begin.

 
 

I left a comment there Substance. What are the odds it makes it through moderation?

“conservatives are forced to meet in secret and speak in whispers to avoid insult and tacit blacklisting.”

Maybe that’s because conservatives are by nature PUSSY”S. Man up and grow a pair and welcome to the free market of ideas.

 
 

I left a comment there Substance. What are the odds it makes it through moderation?

Klavan was pretty trollable at Pajamas Media. There’s a shot there.

 
 

Did I hear correctly that Bruce Willis (he’s an actor) is a big time conservative dolt?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Did I hear correctly that Bruce Willis (he’s an actor) is a big time conservative dolt?

I don’t know, but there’s this guy, I think his name is, like, Mike Gibson? Anyway, I heard that he’s a conservative and probably an anti-Semite.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Well, I took a much-needed mental health break and came back to find a thread on a subject very close to my uh…heart–saftig women. Late to the party, but….

Debbie’s tirade about Hollywood enabling fatties is just insane. I’m old enough to remember when they told Adrienne Barbeau after her first season of Maude: lose weight or you’re fired. Honest to doG–probably the most perfect female body in the history of the world. So she did–came back the beginning of the next season looking 20 pounds thinner and 30 years older. Same thing five years later with Joyce De Witt (!)

But I think when I finally realized there was no hope for these people was on a Halloween episode of Roseanne. The Ghost of Halloween Past took her back to the Halloween party where she and Dan met. Guess who the young Rosanne was? Sara Rue. Sorry I can’t post any links from here for those of you who don’t know who she is, but she just recently had a Jenny Craig commercial out too. Suffice it to say, aside from being two feet taller than Rosanne, she’s gorgeous. In fact she’s on my freebie list ever since Less Than Perfect.

But people who are not anorexic, prematurely-old, shriveled-up hags are interchangable, right? As an appreciator of female-looking women, this gripes me no end. Rant over.

 
 

Both on the Blacklist, I presume. That’s why we’ve never heard of them.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

anorexic, prematurely-old, shriveled-up hags

What do you have against Sarah Jessica Parker?!

If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend is one of the hottest things going and she is a *gasp* size 12.

 
 

Blacklist. How funny. If a raving psychopath like Tom Cruise can still, after all these years, be a top box office draw, I’m gonna have to say Sadly, No! to the idea of a blacklist existing in Hollywood for run of the mill, good looking white dudes. Not that Tom Cruise could be considered conservative, but you don’t have to be a fiery Sean Penn/Tim Robbins/Matt Damon type liberal to get ahead in Hollywood.

Acting talent aside, a case could be made for women, especially African American women, having to overcome a significantly larger barrier to Hollywood than the men.

 
 

Okay, so I watched the video of Debbie that actor linked to, then I went to Lil’ Debbie’s wikipedia page to see just what kind of accent that was, and…holy shit, she has a law degree? WTF? Has Cracker Jack started sticking JDs in the boxes to boost sales? Over the years as I’ve traveled around the intertoobs, I’ve become fairly disillusioned about the legal profession. I’ve noticed that quite a few people in the blogosphere who don’t seem to be particularly bright or thoughtful have somehow managed to acquire advanced legal degrees, even teaching positions. Often as not, these people also seem to be… well, insane. So my question to any lawyers or law-school grads is: Is there some advantage to insanity in law school, such that the crazier you are, the less bright you need to be? Or is law school just less difficult than I’ve been led to believe?

 
 

To back up a bit I said “whitey” just to be mean. Klavan is complaining about a blacklist for conservatives, who are of course a rainbow of diversity.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I went to Lil’ Debbie’s wikipedia page to see just what kind of accent that was

Either Wisconsin or Michigan, right? I normally find that accent charming, but uuuughhh.

 
 

If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend is one of the hottest things going and she is a *gasp* size 12.

She’s aight, but I can’t tell you how shattered I was to hear that Queen Latifah was playing for the other team! WOW

 
 

who are of course a rainbow of diversity.

Did anyone else sense some sarcasm in this statement?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Queen Latifah was playing for the other team!

Did she come out finally? I thought she was still closeted…also, she’s shilling for Jenny Craig, which kinda sucks.

 
 

LALALALA!

*kicks heels in joy and amusement*

“When George Alan Rekers, a cofounder along with James Dobson of the Family Research Council and a leader in the ex-gay movement, was caught walking off a plane from Europe with a young male prostitute, he first insisted that he didn’t know the young man was an escort until halfway through their 10-day vacation.

“I had surgery,” Rekers told the Miami New Times, which broke the story yesterday, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.”

Rekers had hired the escort, dubbed “Lucien” by the New Times, through the website RentBoy.com (NSFW), a popular site that hosts ads for gay male escorts. There’s little mistaking what the site is for.

The site’s users first encounter a disclaimer that the may encounter “content and materials that are of a graphic and/or sexual nature,” and must agree to terms and conditions before entering. The homepage is predominantly photos of naked men. To search for an escort, or “find boys,” one can even select a specialty: “rentboy,” “sugardaddy” or “masseur.”

“I do not believe that there is any way a person could be mistaken about what they are hiring when they find a listing on our website,” a spokesman for RentBoy tells TPM in an email. “I think it is clear from our ad campaigns in gay publications and our website itself that we are targeting a gay audience — gay men seeking men for hire.”

“Handle that bag for you, sir?”

Beeg schmile.

 
 

she has a law degree? WTF?

Now, see, this is what really grinds my gears. It’s one thing for an uneducated, redneck dope (moran, if you will) to hold up a sign with nearly every word misspelled on it, but it’s entirely another when these educated people to promote backward, inconsistent, illegal ideas. It shows that they either did not benefit from their education in any way, or that they’re just water-carrying hack nihilists who will jump on any bandwagon to make a buck. Either way, they need to STFU.

 
 

Carrying his baggage indeed.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

May 6, 2010 at 0:55

Queen Latifah was playing for the other team!

Did she come out finally? I thought she was still closeted…also, she’s shilling for Jenny Craig, which kinda sucks.

It kinda does, but there are other aspects to the desire to lose weight than just fitting into society’s image of what is acceptable weight and what is not. I totally agree with your position on this–but I just can’t imagine Queen Latifah worrying about fitting that mold. If there were ever a woman who seems comfortable in her own gorgeous skin, QL seems to be it. And that voice, oh, doG.

 
Martian Buddy
 

Can I prove conservatives are excluded from work in the movie business? Of course not—not without revealing the identities of the frightened people who tell me their horror stories.

I know 18 brazillion people who say you’re full of shit, Klavan–I just can’t reveal their identities for fear of conservative reprisals.

And all the lurkers support me, too.

 
 

Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you

There’s a lot of favors
I’m prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She’ll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat
And that’s the way I live
So I deserve a lotta tat
For what I’ve got to give

Don’t you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you

If you want my gravy
Fezzle my Ragu
Spice it up for Mama
She’ll get hot for you

When the pass that basket
Folks contribute to
You put in for Mama
She’ll put out for you

The folks that stop the ladder
AreThe ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder kid
And I’ll boost you up yours

Let’s all srtoke together
Like the Princeton Crew
When you’re strokin’ Mama
Mama’s strokin’ you

So what’s the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you

 
 

ugly White fat actresses, like Camryn Manheim

Camryn Manheim is a goddess. I wouldn’t fuck Debbie with Ann Coulter’s dick.

 
 

Looch said,

May 6, 2010 at 0:57

LALALALA!

*kicks heels in joy and amusement*

**Joins in the celebration!**

Once again, proven right. Makes me wonder if Nancy Reagan wasn’t a junkie.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

there are other aspects to the desire to lose weight than just fitting into society’s image of what is acceptable weight and what is not. I totally agree with your position on this–but I just can’t imagine Queen Latifah worrying about fitting that mold.

I agree, but that’s not really the message that Jenny Craig sends. I would have preferred to see her doing commercials for a gym or something. Oh, well. She is still awesome.

 
 

Ha! Or if Tipper Gore had an auto reverse cassette deck with NWA in it. Only NWA. And 2 Live Crew when she was feeling a little saucy…(Veiled –oh I’m not going there — Reference)

 
 

Can I prove conservatives are excluded from work in the movie business? Of course not—not without revealing the identities of the frightened people who tell me their horror stories.

That IS the best part: those who are blacklisted must not be named because, you know, the people that won’t hire them because of the blacklist might not hire them if he revealed their names.

 
 

I would have preferred to see her doing commercials for a gym or something.

No doubt about that. But we can feel very good that it’s not the latest fucking speed pill, or some kind of cream you rub on your thighs–I can’t believe that shit is such a booming industry. Sad.

 
 

What species is Andrew Klavan?

Little help?

 
 

the frightened people who tell me their horror stories.

Actually, the conservative bent is quite appropriate for Hollywood, where it’s all about money and sales and power and artifice. The “frightened people” he’s talking to are the ones who don’t have the talent, skills, or will to get jobs there.

 
Martian Buddy
 

“I had surgery,” Rekers told the Miami New Times, which broke the story yesterday, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.”

“I stopped in Iceland for souvenirs–he’s hauling my ashes for me.”

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But we can feel very good that it’s not the latest fucking speed pill, or some kind of cream you rub on your thighs…

Oh, definitely. I mean, it’s overpriced, shitty food, but it’s not a complete rip-off and it won’t kill you.

I can’t believe that shit is such a booming industry

Food tastes good; exercise is boring and hard work, and being skinny makes you a worthwhile person.

Too bad we’re not all as strong as Kate Moss, who said, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

 
 

Oh, bother. That Angie Harmon actress-person is always whining about how she can’t get work because she’s a conservative. How do I know she’s always whining? Because her “blacklisted” self is all over the damn place being photographed and interviewed and in other ways being lavishly oppressed.

Sigh. Christina Hendricks. I fell in love with her first on “Firefly”, on the episode “Our Mrs. Reynolds”. I’m not weird. The whole Firefly crew fell in love with her, too. Then they kissed her and the next thing

 
 

WHAT THE FUCK, People Magazine, WHAT THE FUCK?

E$ does everything right. I eat right. Three spa days a week. Intricately scripted public persona of sexual ambiguity. A carefully prepared exercise routine combining free weights with crunches (I can do a thousand now). I’m photographed next to FattYglesias or walking corpses like Brooksy and Chuckles Rose at every opportunity. Yet you know whose name I don’t see on enough of these lists? That’s right. Mine.

If they have to take a couple of fat chicks off to make room for me, then so be it. How am I gonna get that sweet sweet MSNBC cash if there is no sustained media buzz about my sexiness? I figure I’ve got a 3-7 year window to cash in on Corporate Friendly Progressivism, and 2.5 of those years have already passed me by. I mean who do I have to skullfuck to establish my bona fides as Progressive Boi Beefcake?

Fuck’ em. I know when I look at my own mirror (sometimes for hours) every night I’m looking at one sexy motherfucker.

 
 

my girlfriend is one of the hottest things going

I hope no-one asks me about Christina Hendricks’ hair colour because I will not be able to answer.

 
Martian Buddy
 

What species is Andrew Klavan?

Imbecilus Americanus, more commonly known as the Domestic Wingnut.

 
 

What do you have against Sarah Jessica Parker?!

My initial response to this question was very very wrong.

 
 

I know 18 brazillion people

And 16 of them are MMA fighters.

 
 

Food tastes good; exercise is boring and hard work, and being skinny makes you a worthwhile person.

Amen.

Too bad we’re not all as strong as Kate Moss, who said, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Which is probably true in her case, but having money, time, constant pressure to stay thin, coccaine, etc all works in her favor. The rest of us don’t have the motivation, time, energy, money or even knowledge of procedure to stay thin. I’m not a fan of statements like that, because they imply empathy for people who have already put on weight. It’s much easier to stay thin, especially when it is a job requirement, than it is to lose weight that one has been packing around for a few years.

 
 

If I could afford a personal trainer and a private chef, I’d probably be thin, too.

 
 

I was too lazy to read the gazillion posts before commenting. I saw an article (which I can’t find) on the net regarding a model who was fired from something like “america’s top model” for being too fat. She was something like a size 4 or 6. There was a picture of her and a model that was considered idea who was clearly anorexic in the same bathing suit. I showed the pic to a few mail co-workers and all of them (men and women) thought the non-anorexic model was more attractive.
As for myself, I am in the obese category. However, as long as my blood pressure/cholesterol/whatever is good and I can do a 20 minute mile walking, I don’t plan to worry about losing weight.

 
 

Imbecilus Americanus, more commonly known as the Domestic Wingnut.

Ah, yes. They tend to nest around sewage treatment plants and poop-bubble ponds.

 
 

that should really have been just co-workers. the mail had nothing to do with it.

 
 

“Ms. Sidibe starred in a very successful “gangsta lit” film adaptation.”

PRECIOUS was your basic bildungsroman–girl grows up. Gangsta lit is about Da Hood, makin’ paper, becoming the biggest baller on the street, etc.

 
Martian Buddy
 

I hope no-one asks me about Christina Hendricks’ hair colour because I will not be able to answer.

Veiled Brazilian ref.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I’m not a fan of statements like that, because they imply empathy for people who have already put on weight.

It was a totally fucking asshole thing to say. I’m sure it was really great for people with eating disorders/recovering from eating disorders to hear.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

What do you have against Sarah Jessica Parker?!

Well, personally nothing…but she looks more like Tom Petty in drag every time I see her.

 
 

Hey, look who has a blog. There’s a post from December 2008 and hey! a new one just in time for Cinco de Mayo!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Sara Rue. Interchangeable with Rosanne Barr, in the eyes of Follywood.

 
 

I had Big Government on my table when we bought our new house together. I had that bitch everywhere!

 
 

“Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Probably true for some people, what with the full flavour and savour of food requiring a sense of smell, i.e. a normally-functioning nose.

 
 

OT but I have to give props to actor for something. I was watching the primus video and got to thinking of Prodigy’s “smack my bitch up” (don’t know why, I definitely have non-linear thought processes). While watching that video, I got a call from one of my alma mater’s looking to hit me up for money. I’ve decided that whenever I get one of those type of calls, I am going to answer the call and all they will hear is smack my bitch up.

 
 

Can I prove conservatives are excluded from work in the movie business? Of course not—not without revealing the identities of the frightened people who tell me their horror stories.

Is there one besides Stephen Baldwin?

of course, he’s excluded because he sucks, not because he is a conservative. But he IS a conservative who is excluded from work in the movie business.

Zombie chuckle.

 
 

Hey, look who has a blog.

No.

No.

Unnice it would be to comment?

*toodles off*

 
 

“Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Needs to be a zombie.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,

May 6, 2010 at 1:12

Can I prove conservatives are excluded from work in the movie business? Of course not—not without revealing the identities of the frightened people who tell me their horror stories.

That IS the best part: those who are blacklisted must not be named because, you know, the people that won’t hire them because of the blacklist might not hire them if he revealed their names.

I read an interview in the NRO in which the author interviewed a European woman who shared his dedication to fighting radical Islam in Europe, but whose name he could not reveal because “she would be fired if she spoke her views in public.” (As a European, I can guarantee there’s nothing at all radical about a belief in fighting terrorism, or even “Islamization” as the French, Swiss and Belgian laws recently passed should show – the only way I can imagine her being fired is if she was a BNP type racist which, considering the company the NRO keeps, she most likely was).

Another interview on PJTV featured an intrepid reporter interviewing “a very senior FBI agent” who revealed startling stories about how the FBI shared all its information with CAIR which of course shared it with al-Qaeda. The FBI agent sat in the shadows so no one could see his face, Deep Throat style, in an attempt to protect the brave man’s identity. (Which is hugely unprofessional reporting, by the way; when whistleblowers give away stories, the stories are usually rewritten in a completely different way removing anything that could possibly be used to identify him. Letting the man tell the story straight in his own voice ain’t it).

Conservative media thrives on sensationalist stories that they can never back up. These stories sound and smell like bullshit, and given the popularity of actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson, this sounds like one of these too.

 
gocart mozart
 

NEWS FLASH!
100% of all people who have alerted authorities to Time Square truck bombs have been Muslim. 0% have been Wingnuts.

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/05/05/senagalese-muslim-vendor/

 
gocart mozart
 

“Dr. Rekers found his recent travel assistant by interviewing different people who might be able to help, and did not even find out about his travel assistant’s Internet advertisements offering prostitution activity until after the trip was in progress. There was nothing inappropriate with this relationship. Professor Rekers was not involved in any illegal or sexual behavior with his travel assistant.”

Its tough even being male whore these days I guess. Dude has to moonlight as a baggage handler.

 
 

she has a law degree? WTF?

Yes but did she pass the bar exam?

 
 

On the subject of Precious – did she even see the movie. I thought the performances were amazing especially Mariah Carey and Mo’Nique (or however she spells it).

 
 

Comments are moderated.

 
 

NEWS FLASH!
100% of all people who have alerted authorities to Time Square truck bombs have been Muslim. 0% have been Wingnuts.

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/05/05/senagalese-muslim-vendor/

GOLD, GOLD AND FUCKING GOLD! Also, fuck the conservatives up the asshole that personifies what they are.

America thanks you, Aliou Niasse, even certain cocksucking fuckwads won’t.

 
Martian Buddy
 

Is there one besides Stephen Baldwin?

of course, he’s excluded because he sucks, not because he is a conservative. But he IS a conservative who is excluded from work in the movie business.

Kirk Cameron?

*snicker*

 
 

I’ve heard tell recently – it was mentioned in passing in an otherwise unrelated story running in Toronto’s Globe & Mail newspaper – that several reactionary moneybag types are trying to get a new conservative network off the ground (Kelsey Grammar is one of them) because their veiwpoint is just so under-representedin today’s America!

Sigh. It’s one thing to sneer at some no-talent piece of shit like Billy Baldwin, but it honestly saddens me to watch the man who played Fraiser Crane sink lower and lower into right wing kookdom.

 
 

Ah. Stepehn Baldwin, not Billy. My apologies to the latter.

 
 

’ve heard tell recently – it was mentioned in passing in an otherwise unrelated story running in Toronto’s Globe & Mail newspaper – that several reactionary moneybag types are trying to get a new conservative network off the ground (Kelsey Grammar is one of them) because their veiwpoint is just so under-representedin today’s America!

Kelsey Grammer? The guy who endorsed Giluiani for the 2008 election?

Yeah, that ought to fly like a cement glider with the conservative base…

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Where is everybody?

Off trying to force feed butter-drenched pork rinds to starlets again, I reckon.

 
 

Alan Turing’s Pheasant Soup

Now, for this one, there is little doubt in my mind that if anyone tries making it on their own just by following the recipe, it would flop. I know because that’s what happened to me. However, I went to the person who made these once, and got all the secrets – just for you! Aren’t I generous?

Ingredients:
1 Forewarning Pasternak-Debauch’s Pheasant
7 jars stretched curd cheeses, marinated
1 jigger flat pepper, chilled
2 jars Pastor Shisipekoow’s Pre-Programmed Stickleback Foot, bubblingly strained
7 bunches soy sauce
1 pinch cilantro

Professionally grease a cookie sheet. Place the pheasant into a large wok. Combine the stretched curd cheeses with the pepper over high heat in a saucepan. Stuff the resulting mixture into the pheasant. Find some Zinfandel and drink it. Herb the stickleback foot, soy sauce, and the cilantro afterward. Smush everything together. Saute as if your shot depends on it. Serves 7 enemies with bureaucratic stomachs.

 
Consumer Unit 5012
 

Pere Ubu said,

One of the things that pisses me off more than “teabagger is racist”.

How can “Teabagger” be racist? The Teabrains are always going on about how omniracial and inclusive their movement is….

 
 

“Needs to be a zombie.”

What–she’s not?

 
 

1st: FYWP. FYUTA.

2nd: let this not be a repost. let this not be a repost.

Blacklists for whiteys!

Truly the mangoes of hilarity there. So Andrew K-Who? is a nobody because he’s been blacklisted by leftists*, not because he sucks.

*-I had no idea the Spartacus League was so powerful.

 
 

I’m old enough to remember when they told Adrienne Barbeau after her first season of Maude: lose weight or you’re fired.

I’m not, but I have Google Image Search and while that haircut is truly vile, you are right: she has the bod.

I’ll be in my bunk.

 
 

But people who are not anorexic, prematurely-old, shriveled-up hags are interchangable, right? As an appreciator of female-looking women, this gripes me no end. Rant over.

William Ware “Bill” Theiss, who was probably a GAY-ASS GAY FAG, but don’t take my word for it, once told Nichelle Nichols on the set of STAR TREK that she needed to drop a few pounds. Nichols took umbrage and decided to get some backup from someone “who appreciated the female form”, that is, Gene Roddenberry. The Bird told Theiss to stuff it*.

*NOT a veiled penis reference.

 
 

I agree, but that’s not really the message that Jenny Craig sends. I would have preferred to see her doing commercials for a gym or something.

She does ads for cosmetics, too. Sister needs to pay the rent!

 
 

PRECIOUS was your basic bildungsroman–girl grows up. Gangsta lit is about Da Hood, makin’ paper, becoming the biggest baller on the street, etc.

Thank you! I was confused but I’d never heard that term before so I didn’t want to stomp around and be wrong. I’ve read other books like PUSH, such as GOD DON’T LIKE UGLY, but I’d never heard it called gangsta lit . . . (I mean come on… where da gangstaz?)

 
 

Food tastes good; exercise is boring and hard work, and being skinny makes you a worthwhile person.

Too bad we’re not all as strong as Kate Moss, who said, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Those are not the words of a normal person. That is anorexia speaking.

There are “support boards” which I will not link to for crazy people (who don’t think they’re crazy, but are) trying to help each other in their journey of anorexic insanity (and eventual death). Some of them are overtly suicidal, but most are just delusional and sick. This is the way they talk. Because they are nuts. And they think we can’t tell when we look at their knees, wrists, and sunken cheeks/eyes.

 
 

Anyone else noticed any time Kate Moss opens her yap that she’s a raging idiot? The brain has a ferocious need for calories so hers has probably been moldering through decades of under-nourishment.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

not a gator said,
May 6, 2010 at 7:05

Anyone else noticed any time Kate Moss opens her yap that she’s a raging idiot? The brain has a ferocious need for calories so hers has probably been moldering through decades of under-nourishment.

I know, right? Now to be fair, every once in a while I’ll see a painfully-skinny woman in show business who doesn’t look anorexic or unhealthy, but like it’s natural for them to be that way, and manages to somehow be attractive in spite of it.

Of course, the last one I can think of is Téa Leoni, so it doesn’t happen often.

 
 

off topic, but Hugh Hewitt waxes lyrical about the Gulf Oil Spill. After a long explanation of what probably went wrong (via some anonymous email), which appears to suggest a fuck up of some kind, he comes out with this gem:

“A bad deal for the industry, for sure. Forget about California and Florida. Normal operations in the Gulf will be overregulated like the N. Sea. And so on. ”

Well, how many huge fucken explosions have we had in the North Sea recently, you fucken href=”http://www.hughhewitt.com/blog/g/33e59c79-36b1-4ef0-9dce-ec1cd3d01e28″ rel=”nofollow”moron .

 
 

Oh FYWP:

FYWP:

 
disinterested observer
 

I only read up to comment 9 but it had gone seriously off topic even by then, but one of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that people who like themselves and other people tend to be attractive, whiile people who don’t like other people (and probably themselves) are not very attractive (even if “conventionally attractive”) So Ms Schlussel (if that is her real name) should ask herself what her reaction is all about.

 
 

Finally reading the Onion article to which I cannot be arsed linking.

Writing in dissent, however, Justice Antonin Scalia contemplated the limits of the constitutional guarantee of free speech.

“The court has an interest in protecting meaningful human communication, which is jeopardized when every other word out of someone’s mouth is ‘F this’ or ‘F that,'” Scalia wrote. “In practice, such an expansion of free expression becomes far too unwieldy and large to accommodate.”

To which Justice Ginsberg immediately replied, “Yeah, that’s what his mom said.”

I for one am pleased to see that the case of DKW’s Mom vs. Numerous plaintiffs is now part of accepted case law.

Conservative constitutional scholars have criticized the Supreme Court’s decision, calling it not only a license to provoke, but also an act of provocation in itself, one that saw several justices repeatedly refer to the plaintiffs as “fuckwits,” “asshats,” and “cumsacks” before informing them that with their appeals exhausted, their only remaining legal recourse would be to “piss up a rope or take two fists in the mommy slot.”

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Handbags at dawn, folks. Awaiting further developments.

And fuckwits of the world unite!

 
 

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don’t let your friends tell you you have no taste
go ahead and marry anyway
Her face is ugly her eyes don’t match
take it from me shes a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

There are “support boards” which I will not link to for crazy people (who don’t think they’re crazy, but are) trying to help each other in their journey of anorexic insanity (and eventual death).

Um, yeah. She’s pretty much the spokeswoman for the pro-ana “movement,” though she’s not as tiny as some of the “thinspiration” photos I’ve seen on those boards.

I prefer to call them sick, and not crazy, but the fact remains that the internet has created a large community of very sick people who are helping each other kill themselves slowly.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

In other news, fucking David Frum, man.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Your daily reminder of what full metal wingnut looks like.

And for the record: fuck these people and the media that promote them.

 
 

In other news, fucking David Frum, man.

WTF does that tweet even mean?

 
 

Your daily reminder of what full metal wingnut looks like.

the [tea party] movement is struggling to overcome accusations of racism

Well, I can see where they are coming from. I mean, just look at how diverse they are.

 
 

Handbags at dawn, folks.

Yay!

 
 

How can “Teabagger” be racist? The Teabrains are always going on about how omniracial and inclusive their movement is….

It’s not THEIR fault their rainbow only has one color.

not a gator said,
May 6, 2010 at 6:32 (kill)

I’ll be in my bunk.

not a gator said,
May 6, 2010 at 6:41 (kill)

Heh.

 
 

Wow, the guy at Ted’s full metal wingnut link should be bronzed and put on permanent display.

Judson Phillips: First, cut taxes to increase economic growth. That works everytime. Second, let’s go through the entire federal budget and eliminate programs that are consumed by waste, fraud or abuse. Start eliminating them.

Every time! And re: waste, fraud and abuse, let’s start with the military. P.S. SOCIALISM!

 
 

FYPW:

BP were the leaders in all this stretching the envelope all over the world in deep water.

I think the correct phrase is: “BP are the leaders in all this stretching the envelope all over the world in lobbying government for dangerously lax safety requirements.”

Hugh Hewitt sucks. Who posts a chain email with the slight caution of “…for what it’s worth.”

 
 

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/is-osama-bin-laden-enjoying-a-safe-haven-in-iran/

Not only are their weapons of mass destruction an imminent danger, but Iraq Iran also has ties to al-Qaeda. In fact, if we’d only just invade, Osama would be stopped and it would be the greatest thing ever! Honest! Why won’t you liberals just BOMB another country?

 
 

And re: waste, fraud and abuse, let’s start with the military.

But…but…the constitution says we have to have military bases in 100 different countries! Ones mostly filled with brown people!

 
 

Judson Phillips: First, cut taxes to increase economic growth. That works everytime. Second, let’s go through the entire federal budget and eliminate programs that are consumed by waste, fraud or abuse. Start eliminating them.

WhereTheF did this idea of cutting taxes while running a deficit “increases economic growth”?

Oh, and good luck cutting the military. We need to stay SAFE.

 
 

wow. Judson Phillips. Proof that facts have a liberal bias.

 
 

Why won’t you liberals just BOMB another country?

Because our ego-to-pen15 size ratio is normal.

 
 

the constitution says we have to have military bases in 100 different countries

Look, I have to be honest here. The “constitution” e’ryone keeps talking about. We need to get rid of it. All that parchment does is tie our hand behind our backs and makes our enemies stronger, bolder and more likely to kill you when you least expect it — like while in the john at the country club (that’s when I’m most vulnerable). Seriously, think about it. With out those pesky rules and regs we could just bomb whoever we don’t like, throw people who disagree with us in jail leaving them there for, like, ever. This idea is win-win. WHITES UNITES!

 
 

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/is-osama-bin-laden-enjoying-a-safe-haven-in-iran/

One genius commenter:

How do I put this. OHHHH I hope so..if we found out his narrow behind was chilling in Iran I would personally nuke the crap out of it. Seriously, this would solve 2 of the biggest probs we are facing today…..hmmm now how to get pelosi out ther…OH! I know..New revolutionalry Botox procedure discovered in Iran! WHOS with me!?

This comment’s got it all! Iran + Bin Laden + nuke + Pelosi + rallying cry = wingnut genius! Kudos to “jmz”.

 
 

Judson Phillips: just another conservative who can’t do math.

Sure, a tax cut from 91% to 70% is gonna spur economic growth – that’s because out of every extra dollar made, instead of getting to keep 9 cents of it you’re gonna get to keep 30 cents – that’s a more than 300% increase. But lowering taxes from 36% to 33%? That means instead of keeping 64 cents of that dollar, you now get to keep a whopping…67 cents. That’s a whopping…1.5% increase. I’m sure that will just stimulate the hell out of everything.

These jagoffs have never wrapped their heads around the diminishing effectiveness of tax cuts as tax rates approach zero.

Of course, it’s probably never occured to them to even look at it because again, they don’t like numbers, because numbers don’t lie.

 
 

My bad on the math on part the second. It’s like a 4% increase. Still not enough to really inspire anyone to invest in much of anything.

 
 

brilliant hood ornament

Now THERE’S a band name!

 
 

These jagoffs have never wrapped their heads around the diminishing effectiveness of tax cuts as tax rates approach zero.

Or that the Laffer Curve, such as it was, was never asymptotic. It was more of a bell-curve to indicate that there was a sweet spot of taxation that maximized tax revenue. To cut taxes lower than that was to cut off your nose to spite your face.

 
 

BP were the leaders in all this stretching the envelope all over the world in deep water.

Veiled condom reference.

 
 

LanceThruster said, May 6, 2010 at 11:23 (kill)

“…Go for my personal point of view / Get an ugly girl to marry you…”

Ooh, charming, wholesome bit of lyric. Where’s it from?

Even though it’s a quoted lyric, and in all likelihood does NOT represent the real honest true opinion of the poster, I still think we should be really really safe, so come here, honey, so I can boil your lance. Remember: an ounce of prevention can be highlarious. Also, laughter is the best medicine.

 
 

Ooh, charming, wholesome bit of lyric. Where’s it from?

*sigh* Youth is wasted on the young:

 
 

Lark, it’s intended ironically. The backstory is supposed to be that the guy just lost the most beautiful woman in the world and is devastated, so in a kind of “fox and grapes” thing, he lectures himself to never fall in love with a pretty woman, but to find a true woman who can keep him happy.

You know, like, say, Gabourey Sidibe.

The song is a good fifty years old, so the sexism even at that level is pretty raw, admittedly.

 
 

Thank you, actor! Good morning! Who are these young you refer to, upon which the youth is wasted? It ain’t me, babe, no, no, no it ain’t me babe. I own my ignorance, ’cause my motto is “If you can’t hide it, decorate it”.

 
 

Oh actor, I did get the ironical part of it. I just wanted an opportunity to say that I was gonna boil his lance. I thought it was funny.

 
 

if we found out his narrow behind was chilling in Iran I would personally nuke the crap out of it.

This guy personally has nukes? HOLY FUCK CALL DHS!

 
 

This guy personally has nukes? HOLY FUCK CALL DHS!
The 2nd amendment has no size limit on the arms we are allowed to keep and bear. That is why I keep a carrier battle group on my person at all times.

 
 

That is why I keep a carrier battle group on my person at all times.

Must get itchy.

 
 

That is why I keep a carrier battle group on my person at all times.

It’s funny you should mention that. Just yesterday I was asked by “The Authorities” to provide my carry permit for the mechanized division I keep with me for… well, for protection.

 
 

Must get itchy.

Well, yes. Barnacles.

 
 

I tried a regiment of mounted riflemen, but the horses got bitey.

 
 

It ain’t me, babe, no, no, no it ain’t me babe.

Darn, the correct response to this coded message is either “I ain’t no fortunate son” or “Go melt back into the night”…which is it?

 
 

I tried a regiment of mounted riflemen, but the horses got bitey.

Well, maybe if you mounted the gunners and not the horses????

 
 

This guy personally has nukes?

Maybe he has a vast armada of Radar Ranges, and wants to re-heat bin Laden’s coffee?

 
 

I know, right? Now to be fair, every once in a while I’ll see a painfully-skinny woman in show business who doesn’t look anorexic or unhealthy, but like it’s natural for them to be that way, and manages to somehow be attractive in spite of it.

My wife is like that. She’s quite skinny (though strong–picks up 50lb boxes of cucumbers at work) and short, and she eats like a tapeworm. (meat, esp. feeeeeed heeeeer meeeeeat). It’s genetic (or epigenetic, but same difference).

Debbi Messner (?) (Grace from Will and Grace–too lazy to google her name) looked similar, though taller, to my wife in terms of body type until she (Messner) had a baby. Now she has boobs.

 
 

Just yesterday I was asked by “The Authorities” to provide my carry permit for the mechanized division I keep with me for… well, for protection.

I just keep a small Japanese guy in a white suit and Yakuza tattoos, who never loses his cool and never steps into the fight until he’s needed.

 
 

Now she has boobs.

You sure she didn’t just swallow a couple of raisins?

 
 

I just keep a small Japanese guy in a white suit and Yakuza tattoos, who never loses his cool and never steps into the fight until he’s needed.

That is freaking cool. Once upon a time I fought my own battles but, after Lieberman stripped me…of my citizenship that is… I realized I have to protect myself from all enemies domestic and domestic.

 
 

I prefer to call them sick, and not crazy, but the fact remains that the internet has created a large community of very sick people who are helping each other kill themselves slowly.

Sick, crazy … the point is that they’re doing functional damage to their noodle by depriving it of calories, which means that cognitive function starts to drop off and the crazy starts rising. Crazy is a side effect of the sickness but they feed on each other, I guess.

Seriously, I have NEVER seen an anorexic in an honors class or receiving a physics or mathematics degree or being awarded a PhD (from an accredited institution)–have you?

I did see an anorexic in remedial summer school once, though.

 
 

Well, maybe if you mounted the gunners and not the horses????

The riflemen mounted the horses. I thought you were a Christian, how can you not know about Calvary?

 
 

No wait, that’s with baby cows.

 
 

Thank you for the mango, Ted. Lemme get that paring knife:

As several states with active “tea party” groups prepare to hold important primary elections this month, the movement is struggling to overcome accusations of racism that are tinting perceptions of this loose network of conservatives.

Aha ha, hahahaha, fuuuhahahahahaha *snort*

Good ol’ WaPo. (But seriously, what does Tony Kornheiser have to say about this?)

 
 

I thought you were a Christian, how can you not know about Calvary?

I do! They got knocked out of the NHL playoffs in the first round by Vancouver!

 
 

Good ol’ WaPo.

..is turning LEFTY!

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0510/36789.html

 
 

Once upon a time I fought my own battles but, after Lieberman stripped me…of my citizenship that is… I realized I have to protect myself from all enemies domestic and domestic.

The little Japanese guy is good for that. You know those Japs and miniturization. It’s like carrying an armory in my pocket!

Plus, he makes a mean miso soup.

 
 

Now she has boobs.

You sure she didn’t just swallow a couple of raisins?

re: Debra Messing, well, you know, it’s a relative thing… you coulda used her chest as a projection screen before.

 
 

Plus, he makes a mean miso soup.

Yeah, but everyone within five leagues can smell it when he’s enjoying his morning nattou … not sure I’d brag about that kind of thing.

 
 

you coulda used her chest as a projection screen before.

I thought the whole point of Grace as a character was projection?

 
 

Well, yes. Barnacles.

Mike Barnacles, Mr. Peabody?

 
 

Good ol’ WaPo.

..is turning LEFTY!

Great…now I have to go apologize to Weigel for calling him a sellout and a Vichy liberal….there isn’t enough AstroGlide in the world for this!

 
 

Yeah, but everyone within five leagues can smell it when he’s enjoying his morning nattou

He tried his hand at kim chee. The HazMat unit was not amused.

 
 

Seriously, I have NEVER seen an anorexic in an honors class or receiving a physics or mathematics degree or being awarded a PhD (from an accredited institution)–have you?

Circa 1987, I knew of one talented, graduating-honors engineer who was frighteningly thin (and had trouble walking up a flight of stairs)…but she quit her job at the company we worked at after about three months.

 
 

He tried his hand at kim chee. The HazMat unit was not amused.

Oh, dear. I hope you made a full recovery.

 
 

Circa 1987, I knew of one talented, graduating-honors engineer who was frighteningly thin (and had trouble walking up a flight of stairs)…but she quit her job at the company we worked at after about three months.

Sounds like one of my aunts. She was perfectly healthy in law school (camping in national parks, climbing trees, etc) but I guess the stress of being a lawyer got to her (lawyers are nasty judgmental) because she became convinced she was fat and as she got thinner and thinner she thought her bones peeking out were “fat” (specifically knee caps! do I detect a theme here?) and she ended up burning out and quitting mid-career.

Her life is better now but I don’t think she’s ever fully recovered. (It doesn’t help that Grandma, who is sticks and twigs, talks about wanting to lose “just five pounds”. I told her she was scaring me.)

 
 

Oh, dear. I hope you made a full recovery.

I made it fine, but there was tragic loss of life when Mr Yakimori chose to fight against long odds and battle the HazMaticians for the jar.

He’s fine. The jar dropped and broke. The downstairs neighbor’s cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

On the bright side, I can now rest assured that my kitchen table was, in fact, solid oak.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Seriously, I have NEVER seen an anorexic in an honors class or receiving a physics or mathematics degree or being awarded a PhD (from an accredited institution)–have you?

Not exactly, but I know a few women with anorexia/eating disorders who have been pretty successful. Actually a lot of anorectics tend to be perfectionists who will work their asses off to be perfect (which is often why their eating disorders spiral out of control). And there are a lot of women (I know men get eating disorders, too, but I don’t have experience with them) who have eating disorders who are functional enough that most people would never know.

I’m certainly not saying you can be a full-on, truly, truly sick anorectic and be successful–not only is your brain not working from a lack of calories, but your brain space is also taken up with obsessing about food.* I’m just saying that you likely know a woman with an eating disorder and you would have no idea unless she told you or you saw her behavior when she was alone.

I will also say that a lot of anorectics *know* that they’re doing crazy things, but they can’t stop themselves. That’s why I prefer to call them “sick”–it’s not who they are, it’s just a disease that’s taken over their lives.

Anyway, it really doesn’t matter that much–I was just sayin’.

*A friend of mine once joked (but was serious) that she couldn’t remember a particular bit of pop culture trivia from the early 2000s because she was too busy memorizing the nutritional contents of a ketchup packet.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ooh, that was long. Sorry.

 
 

Ooh, that was long. Sorry.

That’s what I said!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

That’s what I said!

Right on cue!

 
 

“I’ve read other books like PUSH, such as GOD DON’T LIKE UGLY, but I’d never heard it called gangsta lit . . . (I mean come on… where da gangstaz?)”

Yeah, African-American lit is divided into sub-genres–literary works by folks like Walker and Morrison; romance; mystery, and gangstaz lit. The latter are the 21st-century equivalent of 30’s pulp novels and gangster movies. And they boast some of my favorite lurid titles ever, particularly the BITCH series (featuring BITCH RELOADED, LAST BITCH STANDING, and QUEEN BITCH.) You’re welcome. 🙂

 
 

So Shahzad got caught through his Twitters–and Homeland Security knew he was trouble because he blew up one of HS’s sheep in the Farmville online game? Honestly, is anyone really sure this guy wasn’t bucking for a reality show? Given all his other screwups (having to take the train home from a bombing dry run because he left his keys in the car, etc) how could anyone be that incompetent and not want to get nailed?

 
 

“… so in a kind of “fox and grapes” thing, he lectures himself to never fall in love with a pretty woman, but to find a true woman who can keep him happy.”

So, the “I’m a `nice guy’ who deserves to date hotties 24/7” syndrome isn’t a result of feminism or all those ebil women who won’t give a nice guy a chance? Good to know…

 
 

So, the “I’m a `nice guy’ who deserves to date hotties 24/7? syndrome isn’t a result of feminism or all those ebil women who won’t give a nice guy a chance?

Not in all cases, clearly. On the other hand, a dweeb’s a dweeb and no one likes dating dweebs.

 
 

I found this quote from I F Stone, made in 1963. Read it and see what he would think today:

The fault I find with most American newspapers is not the absence of dissent. It is the absence of news. With a dozen or so honorable exceptions, most American newspapers carry very little news.Their main concern is advertising. The main interest of our society is merchandising. All the so-called communications industries are primarily concerned not with communications, but with selling. This is obvious on television and radio but it is only a little less obvious in the newspapers. Most owners of newspapers are businessmen, not newspapermen. The news is something which fills the spaces left over by the advertisers. The average publisher is not only hostile to dissenting opinion, he is suspicious of any opinion likely to antagonize any reader or consumer. The late Colonel McCormick, in his Chicago Tribune, ran a paper about as different as possible from mine in outlook. But I admired him. He stood for something, he was a newspaperman, he gave the Tribune personality and character. Most U.S. papers stand for nothing. They carry prefabricated news, prefabricated opinion, and prefabricated cartoons. There are only a handful of American papers worth reading —The New York Times, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, The Washington Post, The Washington Star, The Baltimore Sun, The Christian Science Monitor—these are news papers in the real sense of the term. But even here opinion is often timid; the cold war and the arms race are little questioned though these papers do speak up from time to time on civil liberty. There are only a few maverick daily papers left like the York (Pennsylvania) Gazette and Daily and the Madison (Wisconsin) Capital Times. All this makes it easy for a one-man four-page Washington paper to find news the others ignore, and of course opinion they would rarely express.

 
 

Dammit! Wrong thread…

 
 

@Larkspur – May 6, 2010 at 16:00

I agree that the lyrics are a bit misogynistic but I felt that they were somewhat related to the whole “lookism” topic being discussed. I welcome the opportunity to point out that the sentiments of the lyrics do not mirror my own. The instructions to “get an ugly girl to marry you” makes me uncomfortable in the same way I felt learning about the cruelty of a “pig party” for the first time. John Lennon once wrote that he adamantly disliked the lyrics/theme of their song “Run for Your Life” and yet he was also considered to be misogynistic quite often in his personal life.

While I do feel overemphasis on physical traits is not in anyone’s best interests, we all have at least a few physical traits we find preferable in a potential mate. The trick is not to have them be unreasonably limiting.

My hard and fast rule is the maxim; “Don’t marry anyone crazier than you” which theoretically should leave the field virtually wide open for me though has yet to yield the desired results.

I am fortunate to be attracted to a wide spectrum of female physical traits. Where I set the bar is that it’s important for me for the woman to have “feminine” traits. That is to say if she looked too much like a boy somehow, that would be a problem for me, though no one feature is a disqualifier, but certainly in a cumulative fashion could reach the tipping point.

So…that and no cankles. Cankles for whatever reason do not work for me. Also.

 
 

“Don’t marry anyone crazier than you” which theoretically should leave the field virtually wide open for me though has yet to yield the desired results.

If it means anything, I’ve been married. So keep your hopes up and your penis out.

 
 

“… so in a kind of “fox and grapes” thing, he lectures himself to never fall in love with a pretty woman, but to find a true woman who can keep him happy.”

We all tend to do whatever is necessary to keep our ego intact. I always laugh at the scene in “Scarface” where Manny tries to pick-up girls at the hotel pool with an obscene gesture and gets slapped. He walks back to Tony who asks what happened and Manny sneers, “Lesbians.” Juvenile I know but a very human trait to project our own failings onto others.

A comic I saw on cable with a deadpan delivery did a joke I liked a lot.

“My girlfriend just dumped me because she said I have no confidence…yeah, like that’s gonna help.”

 
 

So keep your hopes up and your penis out.

Or my penis up and hope alive.

It looked so good out this morning that I decided to keep it out all day. 😉

 
 

A comic I saw on cable with a deadpan delivery did a joke I liked a lot….

That’s pretty good. I love a good deadpan comic. Margaret Smith is one such comic, as I recall. She had this great little bit where she talked about a poem she wrote as a young teenager. It went something like “blah blah waves and moonlight and tidal surges blah blah blah, I hate my parents”. Then she says, “But I figured out it was just a phase. Yeah, just a phase. That my parents were going through. Everybody hated them”.

Also? Those kinda misogynistic lyrics were at least cheerful and basically good-natured, for the short bit I heard, which kind of puts them in a different zip code from the pig-party phenomenon. I mean, the lyrics do posit a happily-ever-after. Pig-party shit is unrelievedly malignant.

So we’re cool, yes?

 
 

We’re cool, yes.

 
 

Law school involves a lot of memorization and parroting back of recently-learned material. Not quite the same as knowledge, creativity, or smarts.

 
 

Yeah, not only did Todd Palin work for BP, he did it i a union-y workplace kinda way. Yet another strange contradiction that just gets completely overlooked. Like American libs and leftists getting yelled “TRAITOR!” at when they make a peep about the latest foreign escapade, but Todd P. and Sarah being allowed to be standard bearers of the red meat, chest-thumpy party, even though he was a member of a secessionist movement.

 
 

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