Shorter Gateway Pundit:
ABOVE: Sam Karnick (left) and that sly devil
Sam Karnick’s Facebook picture (right)
PBS’ Dickens Adaptation Politicizes, Vulgarizes Classic Novel
Above: Totally knows you’re out to get him.
Gavin adds:
Naomi Klein, Noam Chomsky, the folks at ANSWER, Ward Churchill, are no less conspiratorial than your typical right-wing conspiracy theorist and some of them are not only worse, but far more accepted by the liberal establishment than their opposite numbers are by the conservative establishment.
Mr. Goldberg, meet Andrew McCarthy:
What is the deal with Obama’s birth certificate and citizenship status?
Pamela Gellers at Atlas Shrugs raises some apparent shenanigans with the birth certificate the Obama campaign previously produced. Meanwhile, Philip J. Berg, a former Deputy AG of Pennsylvania and a professed Hillary supporter, filed a lawsuit claiming Obama is not constitutionally eligible to be president; instead of simply clearing up any questions — which you would think would take about five minutes — Obama’s lawyers moved to dismiss the suit and failed to file a timely answer, meaning that, under the applicable rules (according to Berg), Obama is legally deemed to have admitted Berg’s allegations that he is constitutionally ineligible to be president.
Besides his gigs at The National Review and Commentary, Mr. McCarthy is a senior fellow at the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies.
Jon Chait suspends his innate suckitude long enough to write something decent:
A second factor encouraging Democrats to buck their presidents is the role of the rich and business interests. Unless you are a high school student reading this article in your civics course, in which case I’m sorry to dispel your illusions, you will not be stunned to learn that the affluent carry disproportionate political weight with elites in both parties. So, while people who earn more than $250,000 per year make up just a tiny slice of the electorate, they make up a huge chunk of any congressman’s friends, acquaintances, and fund-raisers.
What’s more, whatever their disposition toward business in general, Democrats feel it is not just a right but a duty to slavishly attend to the interests of their home-state businesses. That is why Kent Conrad upholds even the most absurd demands of agribusiness, or why even a good-government progressive like Michigan’s Carl Levin parrots the auto industry’s line on regulating carbon dioxide.
Taken as a whole, then, the influence of business and the rich unites Republicans and splits Democrats.
Interest begets a structure; the structure ensures the status quo. Yet the same dynamic is at play with regard to foreign policy — specifically interventionism (the liberal hawks‘ semi-self-serving euphemism for colonialism or imperialism). The Rethugs are disciplined; the Democrats are split, with by far the most siding with the venal and murderous bloc; the interests of the majority of voters are ignored.
With regard to the economic issues, Chait thinks Obama is on the left side of the Democratic split, something, in the general sense, I take leave to doubt. But that’s neither here nor there. Obama is, however, certainly on the rightwing side of the Democratic split over interventionism — even earning David Horowitz‘s approval for his efforts so far.
The one thing Chait left out of his analysis is the media’s complicity: it, too, is totally in the tank for the rich, in no small part because it is owned or otherwise funded by the rich. Duh. Just as it — in its “liberal” or “objective” or wingnutty versions — is for blowing shit up when the opportunity arises, totally in the tank for the imperialists — and for, at root, the same special intere$t. But then I suppose such a conclusion is too Chomskyesque, and we all know what that means (intellectual totalitarianism!). Anyway, contrast the above quote with the following from one of Chait’s old L.A. Times columns:
The liberal wing of the party has long been aware that although Democratic voters are generally dovish, the party’s foreign policy elite is fairly hawkish. Liberals, understandably, want to depose that hawkish elite and replace it with a dovish one. Flynt Leverett, a foreign policy advisor to John Kerry, complained that “Democrats have fallen into a ‘soft neoconservatism’ that has dulled the party’s voice on foreign policy.” John Tirman, in his book, “100 Ways America Is Screwing Up the World,” writes, “When I see a liberal hawk, I smell a rat.”
When it comes to that split, when it comes to elites being irresponsible to and unrepresentative of the wishes of the majority of their constituencies in that context, Chait’s totally on the other side of the fight (as you’ll see if you read the rest of the piece), fretting that the Iraq debacle would force the mini-neocons in the party and among the “liberal” punditocracy to step down in favor of DFHs. As if. Fucker.
Gavin adds: Conservatives would never do such a thing.
B.C., Imperial Torturer, isn’t. Not at all:
STFU, Go Suck A Dick & Buy A Sense Of Humor
Here’s a note to all of the queers, trannies, dykes, fur-lovers or whateverthefuck you’re calling yourselves this week:
Look, we really don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling donut on a short pier if you enjoy being the star goalie in the San Cram Crisco Professional Tonsil Hockey League, but we’re getting fucking tired of you being ‘offended’ at every little joke made about your limp-wristed, cum-guzzling, rectum-ripping lifestyle.
It’s enough to make B.C. throw on a pair of assless chaps and get really rough with these whiners … grrrrrr!
Several times a day there is a knock at the door, and an email message is there pinned to the sash.
Dear Friend of HUMAN EVENTS:
But no matter how fast we run, we never catch more than a glimpse of the Mailer Daemon as he speeds on his rounds.
Ah, I wonder what Human Events wants this time. Usually when we hear from America’s most venerable1 right-wing publication,2 it’s about suppressed cancer cures, links to scary loud web pages about giant vegetables, or cynical attempts to gain one’s credit card information in the reassuring guise of the illiterate berserk ravings of a fellow conservative .
I mean aside from the shit-blast of notices about Hussein Obama and his Communist junta that wants to gay-marry blastocysts and abort your handguns.
It pains me terribly to write a letter like this, but a crisis that threatens the very existence of HUMAN EVENTS forces me to ask for your help.
Someone turned off the light switch when he left the office, and now they are all trapped screaming in the dark?
Read the rest of this entry »
With friends like these, etc. Townhall’s Mike S. Adams offers his own brand of advice to an acquaintance (possibly not even imaginary!) who is upset that his daughter has returned from her first semester at college with pinko ideas.
Prof. Adams knows a thing or two about co-eds, so he’s going to set the daughter straight, free of charge:
Dear Steve:
Thanks for writing me with your concerns about your daughter’s recent visit home from college. I don’t have a daughter but I can understand the concern you have after seeing such dramatic changes in her after just six months at a public university. After all, you didn’t save money for eighteen long years in order to pay someone to teach her to despise the values you taught for, well, eighteen long years.
Adams kicks off his little spiel with a joke about sexually transmitted diseases — classy — but he’s only getting started. After advising ‘Steve’ to lie to and break promises with his daughter, Adams really sweetens the pot:
3. I’m going to take your daughter and the remaining $2000 – in the form of one hundred $20 bills – to the ‘hood.’ Specifically, I am going to take her to places where crack cocaine is sold here in Wilmington in the middle of the afternoon. This will include grocery stores and actual crack houses.
We have our own advice for Steve: do NOT do this. This will NOT end well. Seriously — don’t do it.
But Steve, if it’s not frightening enough that a whack-job like Mike Adams is hitting you up for two grand in small bills so he can take your teenage daughter on a crack binge, maybe his next words will ‘scare you straight’:
Don’t worry about your daughter’s safety [!!! - ed.] as I will be armed with a .357 magnum loaded with 145-grain silver tipped hollow point bullets [double !!! - ed.]. When I approach a crack head I will first ask whether he paid income taxes last year. If he says ‘no’ I will hand him $20.
Left unsaid is what happens if the crack head says ‘yes’. Makes you wonder what the hollow-points are for, no? That said, we doubt if Adams really has the stones to teach life lessons that involve confronting real live people, .357 or no. He might aim a little lower — perhaps he could straighten out unruly kindergartners by pulling the wings off flies.
Last week Americans For Limited Government For Rich People Who Don’t Need Abortions invited Andrew Breitbart to a bar in DC to explain to about six of its members his new vision for conservatives, which basically boils down to his idea that more Republican Congressmen should dress like Andrew and go to Andrew’s extremely talented barber. Andrew’s well-lubricated “speech” was almost 20 minutes. Who has the time for that? So click on the above video and get all the good parts in about two minutes with, of course, some things that needed fixing.
Oh, I feel just awful. Really awful. My modest little attempt to poke fun at Jo-No and K-Lo has Jo-No all upset and stuff:
Okay, so my syndicated column went up at Townhall today. As I mentioned earlier, they messed up and put it under Kathryn’s byline.
If they messed up, Jonah, then why is it still under K-Lo’s byline more than 24 hours later? I know that most of the folks at the Heritage Foundation have to call IT each time they need to launch a web browser but surely by now they could have stopped their webmaster from downloading porn and playing World of Warcraft for the 4.34 seconds it takes to change a fricking byline.
Her actual column is up over there as well.
It’s annoying, but such glitches happen. But apparently some leftwing blogs think this is the most hilarious revelation imaginable.
Well, at least the most hilarious thing since the publication of Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to Annoying Clerks at Whole Foods. Oh, and those left wing blogs, which Jo-No is too chicken to link are, of course, yours truly and Wonkette.
I’m being pelted with really stupid and juvenile email from people who think this is some sort of major scandal, that it’s proof of plagiarism and lord knows what else.
Of course, the “lord knows what else” — being pwned by an intern, columns being written by Ramesh’s uncle’s outsourcing operation in Bangalore, Jo-No and K-Lo making the two-backed wildebeest — certainly presents ample reason to giggle. And if it were indeed just a simple clerical error, K-Lo certainly would have said something about the bad byline at this late date rather than spending most of yesterday afternoon slamming down Mudslides in the Ruby Tuesday at 41st and Seventh.
I mean, is this the best leftwing blogs have? Misprinted bylines? I knew having Bush gone would be rough for that crowd. But this is really sad.
Of course, we’ve been ridiculing these lard-butts for ages, long before Bush left. But thanks, Jonah, for your concern. We’ll stop blogging and go get happy lives now.
Gavin adds: What, and give up show business?
In which the erstwhile Jane Galt learns that if you hang around long enough, Chomsky will be right again:
What it does suggest is that global capital flows may be way more problematic than I have historically been willing to credit.
Though perhaps “learns” is too strong a description — she’ll have forgotten all this by tomorrow.
Shorter Gateway Pundit:
Notes:
Shorter Pantload:
As if a column at Clown Hall by K-Lo entitled “Big Bedfellows” isn’t enough to make you want to drill a hole in your skull and erase the image by pouring directly onto your brain a mixture of Drano, Clorox and Everclear, the identical column appears at America’s Shittiest Website™ with Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg as its putative author. The links above might not continue to work, so I post the incontrovertible evidence completely free of any Photoshop tampering on my part:
Now, of course, there are many innocent explanations for this. Perhaps Jonah Goldberg is the drag-king identity of K-Lo. Perhaps K-Lo has been writing Jonah’s columns for him in exchange for sexual favors and posted this one accidentally under her own account at Clown Hall. Perhaps the reverse is true, with Jonah writing the columns and K-Lo putting out. Or perhaps everything written by either is written by some underpaid intern while K-Lo and Jonah whoop it up together at The Olive Garden, and this is all some sort of intern revenge. Whatever the case, there’s some hanky-panky behind it all.
Developing. . . .
UPDATE: It’s 10:25 a.m. (almost two hours after I uncovered and reported on this scandal) and the same column is still posted under both names. Apparently K-Lo and Jonah are arguing over whose column goes and whose remains. K-Lo is making veiled threats about getting Lucianne involved in this.
UPDATE 2: Some more evidence, which speaks for itself:
D. Aristophanes adds:
Big Bedfellows, Part II
By Kathbob Jean Doughpez
Zzzzzzzz … *snort* … hrmphh … blecchh. Jellydonutsjellydonutsjellydonutsjellydonuts … wuzza? Snrrttttt … ahh! Masticatemasticatemasticatemasticatemasticate … *groan* … *heave* … *burp* … beefjerkyjerkyjerkyjerkyjerkyjerky … yummmm! Uhnn … ohhh … ahhhhhhhh … mmmmmm … mmmmmm … mmmmMMMMMOOOOOORRRE! MORE! MUST … HAVE … MORE … JELLYDONUTSJELLYDONUTSJELLYDONUTSJELLYDONUTS … hrmphh … *snort* … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
UPDATE 3: Jonah, er, weighs in:
My column today is related to the point Newt was making on Hannity (and is tied to my cover story in the current issue as well). Note: The Townhall version of my column was mistakenly given Kathryn’s byline. .
The Townhall version of my column was mistakenly given Kathryn’s byline. But it’s mine, all mine.
K-Lo, however, is keeping suspiciously quiet, refusing to confirm or deny that the Townhall byline was mistaken. Jonah unwisely reveals his pique against K-Lo with the rather strange “it’s mine, all mine.” I don’t think that Bedfellowgate has played out completely yet. Stay tuned.
UPDATE 4: Here.
Shorter Victor Davis Hanson: We need a new kind of leader, one who shows his independence from Wall Street by cutting rich people’s taxes.
Shorter Hans A. von Spakovsky: Executives must have a short-term economic incentive (and government subsidies) to rebuild the same businesses that short-term economic incentive caused them to destroy.
Shorter David Kahane: While President Obama-Stalin-Castro-Lenin-Tito-Ho-Che-Mao was yukkin it up with Leno, trying to sugar-coat his Communistic Satanic Communism, my family and I drank and joked, knowing that America is doomed. Are we not the epitome of sangfroid?
Shorter Larry Kudlow: We owe the stock market’s rise in the last few days to the fact that Milton Friedman’s theories are being implemented by the Fed, while Barack Obama’s policies are not — yet.
Shorter Fr. Thomas Berg & Michael Augros: We see your relaxed abortion laws, laws that make it easier for victims to sue pedophile priests, your forcing conscientious doctors to dispense emergency contraceptions, and your opposition to our opposition to gay marriage for what it all really means: you’re implementing a pogrom on Catholics.
Shorter Mario Loyola: Liberty or security? To torture or not torture? These questions were pondered deeply by the geniuses of the Bush Administration whose broad knowledge of Enlightenment philosophy led them to decide as they did. Eventually, the simple Obama will come to understand and appreciate his predecessors.
Shorter Jay Nordlinger: John Negroponte is a delightful man who regaled me with his adventures in Iraq, Vietnam, and Latin America.
Shorter Duncan Currie: Before Obama becomes totally protectionist and punishes outsourcers, he should read this unbiased and informative paper commissioned by the Business Roundtable and like-minded trade groups.
Shorter Mark Steyn: Ok, in theory perhaps, AIG exec positions could be outsourced to Indians. But demagogues who preach class warfare — people like Barney Frank — have precluded that possibility, which is just the latest way by which they are making it even worse for the little poor people by being so mean to the precious, precious rich people.
Shorter Clifford D. May: Woe to you my fellow countrymen who no longer believe in American Exceptionalism, for such loss of faith will inexorably lead to the sort of European pussification which ends character-building economic hardships and invites total Islamofascist domination.
I was taking the railing off the stairway so that people could ascend and descend the stairs with greater efficiency when I heard a terrible crash outside, near the stop sign that I had taken down to enable motorists to drive according to rational self-interest. “A violation of market principles,” I cursed as I ran outside waving an unregulated firearm.
Natasha Richardson and "Medical Capital"
by William Anderson
Two cars had crashed due to government regulation, and one of the drivers was seriously hurt due to the onerous safety and fuel economy standards forced upon the auto industry. The other, sadly, had gone Galt.
In writing about socialist medical care like they have in Canada, one of my points has been that socialist systems tend to be undercapitalized, as in such a system, capital becomes a liability rather than an asset. For example, the county where I work has about 80,000 residents and has as many MRI machines as does Montreal, which has several million people living in the area.
“Ambulance…” said the injured driver, opening a new market. “Ambulance,” I affirmed, punching a number into my phone and showing it to him. The figure was high, but he was hardly in a position to be a chooser. “I know a hospital with three people and a dog in it,” I pitched, “and it has as many MRI machines as all of France. Look it up! Look it up on the Internet!”
One doctor has pointed out that it took close to three hours to drive Richardson from Mount Tremblant to the trauma center in Montreal because Quebec has no medical helicopter system, unlike the USA, where such helicopters are common.
We should not be surprised. In Canada, no medical device has the…
“No, four words: Taco Bell Fries Supreme. No, wait.”
We should not be surprised. In Canada, no medical device has the capability of producing an income, so hospitals and medical care facilities often lack what is common in this country. For example, if a hospital or medical practice here purchases an MRI, that machine is able to provide an income to the provider as patients use it.
However, because no one can charge medical consumers for anything in Canada, the decision to purchase an MRI machine is purely one of cost. Medical facilities have only so much money to use, and the purchase of a…
Oh, I can’t take it anymore. Mr. Anderson of the Mises Institute is clever, but clever as well are the Quebecians or residents of Quebec, for the long waiting times for non-emergency MRI access there — the ones that have been so happily described by the ideological opponents of national health care in the US, often to the exclusion of any other consideration or relevant statistic, and/or whilst yanking it into a Jergens-scented tube sock, or eating an entire pint of chocolate-dipped strawberries in the bathtub while talking on the phone, if female or oh look Adam has a new pair of glasses — where was I? Oh, right.
…Forcing market purists, as the world falls to bits around us all, to Shutty McUppington for a distributed average of .0002 seconds apiece so as to discover the plain and objective way in which this startling discovery — this also-having of Canada of private medical care for those able and willing to pay — really, if you’re intellectually honest about it, just further confirms what they were saying all along.
The rustling of socks, the splut-splut of the Jergens dispensers — can you hear them already?
Not Much Shorter Mickey Kaus:
1It’s from the definition of homeless children in section 725 of George Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act.
2 Cf. note 1.
