Shorter Sam “S.T.” Karnick

ABOVE: Sam Karnick (left) and that sly devil
Sam Karnick’s Facebook picture (right)

PBS’ Dickens Adaptation Politicizes, Vulgarizes Classic Novel

  • Everybody at PBS should be fired for broadcasting a version of Oliver Twist where a Negro was cast in a part that should have been played by a white woman.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Comments: 221


Shirley, this is the Amazing Karnick?


Oh ye gods. Now I’m going to have to click the link and go over there to see if the post can really be that f*ckin’ stupid, you sadistic bastard.


He brings up two (2) good points:

1) Sykes shouldn’t have hanged himself. That change added nothing of value and what in God’s name is the point of removing slapstick cosmic coincidences and poetic justice from Dickens, after all?

2) Rose and Mrs. Bedwin were very irritating and, again, I didn’t see the point in making changes to their characters. I don’t think the change was motivated by the bugaboo of “political correctness”, though, so much as by a misguided desire to “liven up” the story.

That said, the reason the adaptation of Bleak House was better than Oliver Twist was that Bleak House was a masterpiece whereas Oliver Twist, even if faithfully and skillfully adapted, was a gaudier, sillier bit of entertainment.


Oh ye gods. Now I’m going to have to click the link and go over there to see if the post can really be that f*ckin’ stupid, you sadistic bastard.

I’ve learned to resist….


Yeah, I don’t click. Past experience has demonstrated that the Shorters are always accurate, while the full versions cause dangerous increases in my blood pressure.


“PBS changed Dickens to recruit people to liberalism, piss off conservatives and attack Christians! Off with their funding!” It’s just too damn funny to read this exposition of his profound butt-hurt at the hands of those dastards at PBS after Jonah’s accusation of the “abject paranoid hysteria” of the left. Hey, maybe it just sucked, ever think about that?


You guys are totally right. God forbid you should read the original article. Critical thinking sucks and reading is hard work. Wait what were some of those things you guys always criticize Republican partisans for….

Oh well. Best not to think about it. RePUGlicans, AM I RIGHT? ROFL


The real problem is the very existence of PBS itself. It should be privatized.


Also, I lick my ass.


Why is it that wingnut’s are constitutionally incapable of producing art criticism beyond “this piece is insufficiently wingnutty, and therefore I condemn it”?

Karnick’s a half-step away from just counting bad words for his voyeuristic pleasure.


I can’t see Big Ho’ site from here, and I didn’t see any of PBS’s “Oliver Twist,” but I wonder if I would have remembered whether or not Dickens intended a character in the novel (apart from Oliver and his family and Fagin) to be of a particular race.

I think it would be odd if PBS thought that that melodramatic and violent novel needed to be “livened up.”


Why cn’t PBS lrn t mk prft lk th Hstry Chnnl fr thr dcmntrs, r Nckldn fr thr chldrns shws?


I guess this jackass reads The Bible in it’s original Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic. It’s Heresy not to do The Original in the original, right?


Jeebus, it’s sixty years since Jane White played Aggravain, can’t these people get over it already?

More to the point, couldn’t they get somebody to write this who has the faintest idea of what Dickens was all about? Because this guy really doesn’t get Dickens (and it’s not like Dickens is all that hard to get).

Matron Dynamite of Appreciative Joy

Just wait til he sees what PBS has got up its sleeve for “A Tale of Two Cities.” (Hint: Madame Dufarge will be played by Michelle Obama.) Heads a-sploadin’ time!

Hysterical Woman

Now I wish I had finished Oliver Twist.


Everybody at PBS should be fired

That’s the standard formula for right wing whine-o-holics. Start with your premise – “Thing I hate must DIE DIE DIE” – and fill in the rest with whatever absurd justification you can think up this week.

Next week I’m confident we’ll be hearing another rendition of “Sesame Street is destroying our youth!”


I dunno, it’s kind of refreshing to see a wingnut who reads and can talk about literature, even if he’s wrong about almost everything.


Ys, vryn t PBS shld b frd fr bng wrthlss prsts n th pblc dm.


Shorter Subkarnickonscious: Why oh why did they replace a safe white woman who would most certainly not turn me gay with a hard, glistening, fine specimen of. . .excuse me.


Is this all they’re left with, outrage over casting in a PBS movie? Srsly.


God knows what he might have done if they had cast an Asian in the production. Somehow seems a bit odd that the notion of artistic license has escaped an art critic. Can’t imagine he is very keen on the Royal Shakespeare Company’s productions either. What a whiny asshat.

White Knight – I did make the mistake of clicking through and reading his puerile, whiny screed which is, if anything, even worse than the shorter portrays it. (Knight of the Ku Klux Klan perhaps? Nice racist touch there.)


Eh, I can’t hate upon PBS. After all, growing up, they gave me my weekly dose of Firing Line and Firing Line sponsored debates.

The race of characters in this kind of production is incidental and fretting over it absurd. One of the best Hamlets I’ve ever seen was played by a black guy.


Oh, how interesting I am.


Also, we need to fire those worthless parasites who make sure our water quality is above “poison stew”, and those worthless parasites in the gov’t who ensure our air quality is above “poison gas”

Prudence Goodwife

Maybe, just maybe Sophie Okonedo got the part of Nancy because she was the best actress. Why does everything have to be about affirmative action & political correctness.

Does Master Karnick get mad that they let women perform women’s parts in Shakespeare plays now?


It’s the BBC, you moron. Just because PBS are showing it doesn’t mean they made it. If you’re going to call for people to lose their jobs because of your instinctive racism, at least pick on the right people.


I hate negroes as much as my other alias, The Truth

WAIT A MINUTE! I’m not The Truth. I have NO IDEA who “The Truth” is. He’s not me. Nope. Nada.

OOPS I said a Mexican word!


Isn’t this a British production anyway, and thus bupkes to do with “Hollywood” or “PBS”?


Ah, Fuck on Toast got there a moment before I did. Such is the way.


PBS should only show programs about how wonderful guns are, and how oppressed white Christian males with IQ’s under 100 are.


Isn’t it great that we’ve already fired the worthless parasites who tried to make sure that our food quality was above “salmonella media?”

Wow. I sure hope we can turn this trend around with the new appointees.


Y lbs dn’t fnd t trgs tht Ssm Strt, shw tht mks bllns n mrchndsng, s sbsdzd by YR TX MNY?


D.D.–A baseless accusation that I must be a racist for making it plain that I don’t give a damn about the races of any of the actors, that the article in question was vapid piffle and that my only two objections to the PBS version of Oliver Twist involved an issue of character development and an altered plot point?

Again, I seem to recall liberals (justifiably) complaining that the dimmer denizens of the Right were quick to assign fatal moral flaws to those with suspect ideologies. It seems that, regardless of partisan affiliation, dullards delight in the same tactics.

I, for one, side with Jefferson, and believe that differences of opinion need not be differences of character.


Stephen: you mean like Pantload?

Never watch film or TV adaptations of “classic novels.”

There seem to be tons of them but they’re always travesties. I don’t know why.


You idiot libs. The Free Market will take care of any salmonella problems. People who buy that brand will die, and the brand will lose sales, ensuring that the company goes out of business.

See, stupid libs? This is why the Free Market, and not the government, is the best.


And for the last time, I’m not The Truth.

Although, like him, I do enjoy a nice big steaming poo on my chest.


Can’t imagine he is very keen on the Royal Shakespeare Company’s productions either.

If I find out the RSC is employing black actors for any part other than the Prince of Morocco, I’m going to be pissed. I saw a Shakespeare play once where one of the spear-carriers in the background was black! Imagine! Shakespeare clearly didn’t intend for that spear-carrier to be black. It was… uh… distracting. Yeah, that’s it. Distracting.


Yh, th gvrnmnt ds sch grt jb f prtctng s frm Slmnll. tht’s why ppl nvr ctch t! h, wt…

n fr mrkt wrld, grp f prvt ndstrs cld crt prvt rgltry brnd tht wld chck fd fr dss nd sfty (lk ndrwrtr Lbrtrs). N crcn nd thft f yr mny ncssry.


It is easy for me to sound edumactaed, for there is a whole universe of multi-syllablic rants on the internet for me to google, and then cut-n-paste.


Does Master Karnick get mad that they let women perform women’s parts in Shakespeare plays now?

I think most of these wingnuts get an itchy screed-typing finger purely from hearing the phrase ‘women’s parts’.


Yes, the Free Market is the way to go! Who needs the government when Wall Street showed us how de-regulation benefits America, using the example of the last eight years!


Grg W. Bsh pssd mr rgltns thn ny Prsdnt snc Rchrd Nxn. H ws fndmntlly rgltr.


Private industry is EXTREMELY interested in self-regulation! Just look at how air pollution was extremely low until that pesky EPA stuck its nose into things.

When that river started burning in Ohio in the 60’s, that was an example of how the Free Market kept water clean – the Free Markets just BURNED the bad stuff off the water, leaving clean, sparkling H2O, ready for cuddly little babies to drink.


16:23–“Polysyllabic”, not “multi-syllabic”. So clumsy, so inelegant. If you’re going to insist on imitating me, do at least use la mot juste.


W ddn’t hv fr mrkts n th 1960s. Tht wsn’t rl fr mrkt.


Not a free market! No givesies-backsies! And Bush wasn’t free market either. OK, free market starting… now! No, wait. Mulligan! OK… now!


The reason Wall Street did so well for America is all the regulations my hero George Bush passed.

The genius Bush knew that by letting Wall Street make huge multi-trillion dollar gambles, with no assets to back those gambles, America would prosper like never before!

Look at the results – at least until that nasty Obama started screwing things up after he became president in 2005.


Wht hppnd t tht rvr s nt th fr mrkt, bt trgdy f th cmmns.

f w hd prvtzd tht rvr n h, smn wld hv crd ngh bt t t mk sr t styd cln. Bt whn th “pblc” wns smthng, thy wn’t cr hw thy trt t.


I use to correct people.

Actually, I kind of live at since I slept thru 4th grade splling.


Yes, if only some industry had owned that river in Ohio. They would’ve kept it clean. They would NEVER use it for dumping pollution into.

It is only because the stupid government makes rivers public places that industry pollutes them.

In fact, the government CAUSED industry to pollute rivers by not letting industry own them!


Hang on…this is a BBC production that is part of the PBS contract, and so we funded it how now?


Actor: As far as I can tell, we didn’t. Which is another thing that makes the original article such a howler.


Look, let’s save ourselves some effort here. For any example you can provide of the free market fucking things up, my answer is that it wasn’t really a free market at that time. The only instances of a genuine free market ever are the three or four days in history when the free market can’t be directly attributed to some specific example of economic strife or destruction. On those days, that was the proper free market, no revengies, I am rubber you are glue.


I hate George Bush now because he regulated so much.

Wait, I love George Bush because he kept us safe, as long as you realize he didn’t become president until 9-12-2001. We all know that the evil Clinton was running things right thru 9-11-2001.


f y dn’t lk tht prtclr ndstry pllts, dn’t by frm thm. rgnz byctt, thy wll g t f bsnss.

Tht’s hw <B>FRDM wrks. Y cn chs t ptrnz crprtn r nt. Y hv n sch chc wth gvrnmnt.

s .


Karnick’s essay is pretty much what you’d expect.

The latest PBS adaptation of Charles Dickens’s classic novel Oliver Twist demonstrates the urgent need for reform of the taxpayer-supported broadcasting service–or an end to taxpayer funding for it.

These adaptations should instead be put in the hands of ardent capitalists like Baz Luhrmann.

They do, however, largely present him (Fagin) in his full, evil selfishness, lest the viewer fail to recognize the immense, consistent horribleness of the male sex.

For example, consider the hideous Oliver, a depraved male. Late Victorians could never tolerate such broad generalizations about men and women, preferring the toughmindedness of The Angel in the House.

Thus the producers cap the adaptation with a slam against Christianity and a presentation of the standard leftist line that Christians are eager to impose their religious beliefs by force.

Catholic Relief Act: 1829

Publication of Oliver Twist: 1838

Good to see that Big Babywood is maintaining its standards.


Yes, if you don’t like pollution don’t buy from them. If the electric company is polluting illegally, stop using electricity. You must also convince all your neighbors to stop using electricity as well.


“La” n’est pas le mot juste.


For the love of all that’s holy, don’t let Sam watch the Little Dorrit adaptation they’re currently showing. He won’t believe who’s playing Tattycoram.


“Ys, f y dn’t lk plltn dn’t by frm thm. f th lctrc cmpny s plltng llglly, stp sng lctrcty. Y mst ls cnvnc ll yr nghbrs t stp sng lctrcty s wll.”

Yp. Prtty mch. Bcs lctrcty cn’t b prdcd n chp mnnr wtht prdcng plltn.

f y grns nd c-Fscsts pt yr mny whr yr bg mths r y wld stp sng lctrcty nd/r ll g ff-grd. f y dn’t d tht, sht p.


Now, it’s just plausible that Twist’s villain, the violent and vulgar Bill Sykes, would have an African-English girlfriend, but there’s not a hint of that in Dickens’s novel

He also doesn’t specify she’s white. And you know, there was that whole “colonization” thing going on at the time. But of course, no one *ever* came from Rhodesia– then known as South Zambezia– to England, and they *never* had to impose immigration quotas!

And certainly those who did all came here with a king’s ransom in gold and never had to resort to a life of crime, much like Mexicans crossing the Rio Grande today.

But I’m sure that, as Mr Karnick (who would have been banned from the gentleman’s clubs of Dickens’ day for being…ethnic) sips his martini at the Campbell Apartments and ponders how horrible it was to view an actual NEGRO on his television that wasn’t wearing basketball shorts and playing for Hahvahd, all never occured to him.


f y dn’t wnt t stp sng chp, fssl-fl prvdd lctrcty, thn y hv prvn thrgh yr bhvr n th mrkt tht y n fct vl yr wn cmfrt vr th stt f th nvrnmnt, dspt ny rhtrc t th cntrry.


BTW, f t wsn’t fr th gvrnmnt gvng mnpls t tlty cmpns, w’d hv mrkt n lctrcty nd y wld b fr t chs t by frm mr xpnsv “grn” cmpny f y wntd, nd f thr ws ngh dmnd fr t.


Free markets RULE! I don’t care what you stupid libs say.

I have to go to a city council meeting tonight. Do you believe they actually sold the rights to allow a private waste contractor to locate a dump in my neighborhood? The nerve of those guys!


Fred, I understand there are many brands of decaf on the market that are practically indistinguishable from the real thing. You kight consider trying a few.


Also, if the water and sewage companies behave badly, simply boycott them and, like I do, drink your own piss.


Y cld ddrss my pnts nd prv m wrng sng lgcl nd fcts.

r y cld jst sckpppt m nd mk p strwmn rgmnts.


BTW, if it wasn’t for the government giving monopolies to utility companies

You’re about twenty years too late for this rant, Fred. Most utilities have been privatized. This is how Enron was able to rip widows off at 80 bucks a kilowatt hour in 2001.


Tigris: Embarrassing! You’re correct, mot is masculine. Egg on my face.


Thy’r nt rlly prvt, ctr212. Thy’r gvn gvrnmnt-grntd mnpls.

BTW, n mnply vr xstd tht wsn’t crtd by th gvrnmnt. Thnk bt t!


Seriously, I recycle all my own shit and piss by eating and drinking it. It’s the only way to send a message about the socialization of our vital, yet optional, utilities.


If Wall Street isn’t regulated enough, just go use another Wall Street – call it Wall Street 2! It’s not like some unregulated Wall Street will bring down the entire US economy – as long as evil government keeps its nose out of the glorious Free Market.


Outstanding. A troll vs. fake troll dance-off within 80 posts.


Yes, follow my example and use logical [sic] and facts. Also, post it on a thread making fun of an idiotic television review. I bet you all wish you made sense like me.


Standard Oil in the 1890’s wasn’t a monopoly! I think other oil companies had something like 5% of the market!

You stupid libs!


“f Wll Strt sn’t rgltd ngh, jst g s nthr Wll Strt – cll t Wll Strt 2! ”

Wll, thr r fnncl mrkts n thr plcs n th wrld bsds Wll St. y knw.

nd thy wndr why w tll lbs t r-tk cn 101…


Also, I never use any roads or purchase any goods or services from anyone who has ever used roads. So basically I live in a box, eating and drinking my own shit and piss.


“And they wonder why we tell libs to re-take Econ 101…”
So you can steal our notes because you were getting hammered during class.


Gv mn fr hs nd h’ll bst t th wndws / Pt hs fmly n fd stmps, nw h’s bg spndr / N fd n th tbl nd th blls n’t pd / ’cs h spnt t n cgrtts nd PG / Thy’ll trn s ll nt bggrs ’cs thy’r sr t pls / Thy’r fdng r ppl tht gvrnmnt chs / t’s th mn n th Wht Hs, th mn ndr th stpl / Pssng t drgs t th mrcn ppl.


They’re not really private, actor212. They’re given government-guaranteed monopolies.

How do you figure? If you’re saying that as conduits to sell electricity provided by producers, I’d agree, on a limited basis. I can buy whatever generation I choose. Indeed, through Con Ed, I buy, at a premium, electricity produced from the Niagara Power Authority and from a wind farm in the Leatherstocking Region.

But I could do that even if Con Ed was in competition. The difference here is that Con Ed already owns the wiring, so there’s a monopoly of convenience, rather than have all the streets torn up for the next generation to lay power cables side by side.

BTW, no monopoly ever existed that wasn’t created by the government. Think about it!

Standard Oil leaps to mind.


Also, I never use government-funded roads or bridges, and I never purchase goods or services from any moochers that use government-funded roads and bridges. Basically I live in a box with no sanitation or plumbing, eating and drinking my own shit and piss.

Matron Dynamite of Appreciative Joy

HAW haw! tigris pwned tighty-whitey! tigris pwned tighty-whitey! neener-neener-neeee-ner!


What you gon’ do with all that junk?/All that junk inside your trunk?/ I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,/ Get you love drunk off my hump./My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,/My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps


Th tr css f mnpls r gvrnmnt brrrs t fr cmpttn.


Take away a Wall Streeter’s rules / He’ll celebrate by using his bonus on cocaine / He’ll gamble with taxpayer money / because he knows he has a lot / of republican tools completely fooled / about how the Free Market / that he laughs, knowing it is complete fiction / exists only for stupid republicans to whine about


<blckqt>Lt’s g bck t th Stndrd l “mnply.” Hvn’t w bn tght tht Stndrd l mnplzd n rstrnt f trd? sn’t ths th prm xmpl tht s prvdd n spprt f nttrst lws? Th lttl-knwn trth s tht whn th gvrnmnt tk Stndrd l t crt n 1907, Stndrd l’s mrkt shr hd bn dclnng fr dcd. Fr frm bng “mnply,” Stndrd’s shr f ptrlm rfnng ws pprxmtly 64% t th tm f trl. Mrvr, thr wr t lst 147 thr dmstc l-rfnng cmpttrs n th mrkt — nd sm f ths wr lrg, vrtclly ntgrtd frms sch s Txc, Glf l, nd Sn. Krsn tpts hd xpndd nrmsly (cntrry t sl mnplstc cndct); nd prcs fr krsn hd flln frm mr thn $2 pr glln n th rly 1860s t pprxmtly sx cnts pr glln t th tm f th trl. S mch fr th myth f th Stndrd l “mnply.”


Eep / Opp / Ork Ah-Ah / Ting / Tang / Wallah-Wallah Bing Bang


In fairness, I only got through Econ 101 by copying off my girlfriend.

I often wonder about my anti-regulation inclinations. I want to believe in them in theory, but in practice….I think maybe Krugman was right when he said that Enron, 100 years from now, will be seen as the turning point in American history, not the WTC/.Pentagon attacks.

If poor Karnick read Hard Times and found out what Dickens thought of unfettered capitalism, the poor dear would never care what effete cheese munchers did to adaptations of his books ever again, not even if they stuck a conjurer, a steel band, and Ice Cube right in the middle Nicholas bloody Nickleby.


Fred, I might agree, again, in limited circumstances, but then how do you explain Microsoft who had a monopoly on the OS market before the government had even *owned* a personal computer?


To explain further, the only reason the monopoly of 1890’s era Standard Oil existed was because the government over-regulated the oil industry in 1880.

See how SMART I am??? You stupid libs!


1907, however, was not the beginning of the story, Fred:

Standard Oil began as an Ohio partnership formed by the well-known industrialist John D. Rockefeller, his brother William Rockefeller, Henry Flagler, chemist Samuel Andrews, silent partner Stephen V. Harkness, and Oliver Burr Jennings, who had married the sister of William Rockefeller’s wife. In 1870 Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil in Ohio. Of the initial 10,000 shares, John D. Rockefeller received 2,667; William Rockefeller, Flagler, and Andrews received 1,333 each; Harkness received 1,334; Jennings received 1,000; and the firm of Rockefeller, Andrews & Flagler received 1,000.[4] Using highly effective tactics, later widely criticized, it absorbed or destroyed most of its competition in Cleveland in less than two months in 1872 and later throughout the northeastern United States.

In the early years, John D. Rockefeller dominated the combine, for he was the single most important figure in shaping the new oil industry.[5] He quickly distributed power and the tasks of policy formation to a system of committees, but always remained the largest shareholder. Authority was centralized in the company’s main office in Cleveland, but decisions in the office were made in a cooperative way.[6]

In response to state laws trying to limit the scale of companies, Rockefeller and his associates developed innovative ways of organizing, to effectively manage their fast growing enterprise. In 1882, they combined their disparate companies, spread across dozens of states, under a single group of trustees. By a secret agreement, the existing thirty-seven stockholders conveyed their shares “in trust” to nine Trustees: John and William Rockefeller, Oliver H. Payne, Charles Pratt, Henry Flagler, John D. Archbold, William G. Warden, Jabez Bostwick, and Benjamin Brewster.[7] This organization proved so successful that other giant enterprises adopted this “trust” form.

As the company grew through effective business practices, it developed other strongly anti-competitive strategies, including a systematic program of offering to purchase competitors. After purchasing them, Rockefeller shut down those he believed to be inefficient and kept the others. In a seminal deal, in 1868, the Lake Shore Railroad, a part of the New York Central, gave Rockefeller’s firm a going rate of one cent a gallon or forty-two cents a barrel. (71%) discount off of its listed rates in return for a promise to ship at least 60 carloads of oil daily and to handle the loading and unloading on its own, a huge competitive advantage.[citation needed]

Smaller companies decried the deals as unfair because they were not producing enough oil to qualify for discounts. In 1872, Rockefeller joined the South Improvement Company which would have allowed him to receive rebates for shipping and receive drawbacks on oil his competitors shipped. But when this deal became known, competitors convinced the Pennsylvania Legislature to revoke South Improvement’s charter. No oil was ever shipped under this arrangement.[citation needed]

In one example of Standard’s aggressive practices, a rival oil association tried to build an oil pipeline to overcome Standard’s virtual boycott of its competitors. In response, the railroad company at Rockefeller’s direction denied the association permission to run the pipeline across railway land,[citation needed] forcing consortium staff to laboriously decant the oil into barrels, carry them over the railway crossing in carts, and pump the oil manually into the pipeline on the other side. When Rockefeller learned of this tactic, he instructed the railway company to park empty rail cars across the line, thereby preventing the carts from crossing his property.[citation needed]

Standard’s actions and secret[citation needed] transport deals helped its kerosene price to drop from 58 to 26 cents from 1865 to 1870. Competitors disliked the company’s business practices, but consumers liked the lower prices. Standard Oil, being formed well before the discovery of the Spindletop oil field and a demand for oil other than for heat and light, was well placed to control the growth of the oil business. The company was perceived to own and control all aspects of the trade. Oil could not leave the oil field unless Standard Oil agreed to move it:[citation needed] the “posted price” for oil was the price that Standard Oil agents printed on flyers that were nailed to posts in oil producing areas, and producers had no power to negotiate those prices.[citation needed]

In 1885, Standard Oil of Ohio moved its headquarters from Cleveland to its permanent headquarters at 26 Broadway in New York City. Concurrently, the trustees of Standard Oil of Ohio chartered the Standard Oil Company of New Jersey (SOCNJ) to take advantages of New Jersey’s more lenient corporate stock ownership laws. SOCNJ eventually became one of many important companies that dominated key markets, such as steel and the railroads.[citation needed]

Also in 1890, Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act — the source of all American anti-monopoly laws. The law forbade every contract, scheme, deal, or conspiracy to restrain trade, though the phrase “restraint of trade” remained subjective. The Standard Oil group quickly attracted attention from antitrust authorities leading to a lawsuit filed by then Ohio Attorney General David K. Watson.

From 1882 to 1906, Standard paid out $548,436,000 in dividends at 65.4% payout ratio. As is common practice in business, a fraction of the profits was put back into the business, rather than being distributed to stockholders. The total net earnings from 1882 to 1906 amounted to $838,783,800, exceeding the dividends by $290,347,800. The latter amount was used for plant expansion.


Mcrsft nvr hd mnply. Thr ws lwys ppl nd Lnx, vn t th hght f Mcrsft’s mrkt shr.

nd ppl hs bn clwng ts wy bck fr th lst dcd thrgh fr cmpttn, nt gvrnmnt brk-p f mcrsft.

Matron Dynamite of Appreciative Joy

Wow! A Fred-off.
[pulls up chair, starts stuffing popcorn into mouth]


Fred, your FFF article has a major flaw in it.

A monopoly is not one seller owning a market to the exclusion of all others.

A monopoly is defined as a market where one seller dominates a market so much that other sellers have to bend to its wishes and accedes to its conditions and terms.

Controls, not owns.

Fred, corrected

Even though the Standard Oil company had sold off holdings to allies whom they knew would do anything they wanted, thus ensuring that the “non-monopolistic” oil industry in 1900 might fool Americans into now wanting them broken up, it didn’t work. Only the conservatives, who stupidly thought having different company names, although still controlled by the same group of wealthy financiers, made some kind of difference actually opposed breaking up the still-a-monopoly Standard Oil.


Someone needs to clue in these asspumps that Dickens was really quite the liberal in his day. Shit, in any day.

And shhhhh, don’t anybody tell them that “A Christmas Carol” is about a wingnut dickhead who becomes a liberal overnight.


MDAJ 16:52–Heh, yeah, I made a mistake and Tigris called me on it. I’m grateful. It will keep me from making the mistake at some later point doing something that may matter more than silly posts on an internet board. It is embarrassing though–I was positive mot was feminine, because I recall long long ago French lessons where I thought “I love words and I love girls…words must be girls”. It turns out I love words and words are boys so….well, fair enough. I always did like Cocteau a bit too much I suppose….


I don’t hate black people because they’re mostly poor, and I don’t hate poor people because they’re mostly black. It’s just a happy coincidence that saves me a little effort.


A monopoly of the kind your FFF article describes would only occur in a legal monopoly, one where (yes) a government sanctions a monopoly for the greater good of a population or economy.

Take the development of rural electricity. Because the return on investment was prohibitively low for the competitive market to even look at stringing wire in Tennessee, say, the US government granted monopolies to utilities where they would wire those counties in exchange for the right to make as much profit (but not revenue) as they could.


The fact that Microsoft managed to mess up Free Market mechanisms by clever marketing of its inferior Windows system to all the equipment manufacturers over competing OS’s merely reinforces my point that it wasn’t really a Free Market.

As I said before, the Free Market works, since it has only existed as a True Free Market for 3 or 4 days since the dawn of history.


I always did like Coc

Complete this sentence for whitey using only one letter.

Matron Dynamite of Appreciative Joy

… I was positive mot was feminine, because I recall long long ago French lessons where I thought … blart blart blart well, fair enough. I always did like Cocteau a bit too much yak yak yak …

tighty: No one cares. STFU and get back to playing dueling Freds.


I always did like Cocteau a bit too much I suppose….

I always wondered if that was his name or a description.


actor212 Tennsesse Williams told a great story about meeting Cocteau and his lover for lunch to discuss film rights to A Streetcar Named Desire. Neither had ever seen nor read the play, and WIlliams was in a chemical haze. All he remembers clearly was Cocteau’s love asking, concerned, “I won’t have to learn a Polish accent to play Stanley Kowalski will I?”


Wow. This is officially the worst thread ever.


@Simba B – Agreed, but actor212 is playing an admirable straight man here.


Whm th Gds Wld Dstry
By Jms Lws

… thy frst mk md,” sd th Grks. nd thy crtnly knw wht thy wr tlkng bt, snc wht w cll th Gldn g f Grc mnt n svg wr ftr nthr btwn th cty-stts, ll f thm rddld wth plts, trsn, sbtg nd clss wr, lng wth nbrdld hdnsm, rblln, tyrnny, pprssn, vrydy slvry nd fnlly msrbl dft n wr.

Plt, Scrts nd rsttl yrnd fr lf f rsn, bcs thy sw s lttl f t n thr wn wrld. Thy bcm th ntllctl fndrs f mdrn cvlztn, whch ls shws s cnstnt strggl btwn mdnss nd rsn. Hmn scts sm t b prn t mdnss. Th lf f rsn, lk prfct lv, s n dl tht s nvr qt rlzd.

Whch brngs m t crtn mdnss n mrcn cltr tdy. ‘v cm t blv thr rlly s sch thng s mrcn slf-htrd. Tht snds strng t my rs, bcs slf-htrd s smthng w tlk bt fr lflng lchlcs wh jst cn’t kck th hbt, r wth lvlrn tngrs wh lv n dspr bt thr ncntrllbl zts. n mr srs lvl, slf-htrd s trgclly cmmn mng lng-sffrng ppls, lk th Jws n rp r Blcks n th tm f Jm Crw. Th grt nvls f Dstyvsky nd Tlsty r fll f bsssnl slf-crtcsm f th Rssn sprt, t th pnt f rl slf-htrd. t s th pr-mnnt nrss f th ld Wrld, whr ppl hv fght fr s mny cntrs tht th dd hnd f hstry s nvr gn. Slf-htrd tnds t g lng wth lng hstry f pn nd sffrng.

Tht s why th Blkns r lwys n th dg f gncd; vry fmly kps n rhrsng ld, ld njstcs. hv hghly dctd Hngrn frnd wh stll fls frs bt ll th cntrs srrndng Hngry — ll ths ld nms, th Pls, th Blgrns, th Rssns — ncldng th Hngrns thmslvs. knw Blgrn wh cn’t stp thnkng bt wht th ttmn Trks dd thr bfr 1917. Tht’s nt nsl n ths ld kllng-flds f rp. rpn gncd dd nt strt wth Htlr nd Stln; th Svts nd Nzs jst ndstrlzd gncd. hv Wlsh cqntnc wh s cnstntly wrstlng wth mxd flngs bt th nglsh, nd n rsh frnd wh hs nvr stppd htng th nglsh fr th Ptt Fmn f th 1840s. n nglnd tslf, ftr cntry f sclst pltcs, th pr stll ht th rch nd wnt t gt vn.

rp s cnstntly twstng vr bckwrds tryng t scp ts hstry; whch s why rpns bth lv nd ht mrc, bcs ths cntry hs lwys symblzd th prms f scp frm th pst.

Whch brngs m t my lbrl mrcn frnds, wh r ll rphls. Th rsn s tht thy ndrstnd nthng bt rp, nvr hvng bthrd t lrn nythng bynd th prpgnd n thr Frnch nd Grmn txtbks. My lbrl frnds ht mrc t th sm dgr tht thy lv rp. t s stnshng; nd thy r mprvs t fcts nd vdnc. Thy sm t nd tht htrd, lng wth tht fntsy lv.

knw lbrls wh lv n wrld f drms bt th rmntc lvs f Ntv mrcns, wh cnstntly rdd, rpd, trtrd nd klld thr nghbrs. t wsn’t Clmbs nd th Spnsh bt th frst Sbrn mmgrnts mr thn tn thsnd yrs g wh klld ll th gnt fn lvng n th mrcs wthn fw gnrtns f thr rrvl. My frnds jst wrshp trbl ppls wh r, t th mnmm, nt vry nc, n dlng wth tsdrs.

Lbrl nthrplgsts wh spnt thr lvs stdyng stn-g ppls sd t dny th vst nmbr f crdbl rprts bt cnnblsm, bcs t wsn’t PC t dmt t. Thy jst thght t ws th Ynmm vrsn f Mndy Nght Ftbll. Thn thy fnlly, fnlly dmttd tht ys, thr mght b smthng t th cnnblsm rmr — bcs mdcl scnc fnlly shwd tht hmn bngs hv spcl mmn rsstnc gnst brn nfctns, lk Md Cw Dss. t nw trns t tht cnnbls t th brns f thr flks — fn dlccy, nd vry ntrts — nd tht hmns thrfr vlvd gntc prtctn gnst prn nfctns frm tng thr ppl’s brns. t s th sm rsn why w crry mmn prtctn gnst nsct-brn vrss nd bctr. Hmn ncstrs wh stmbld nt tht mmnty srvvd lng ngh t nd p wth … s. Tdy mst nthrplgsts sm t dmt tht ys, thr mst hv bn qt lt f ppl-tng gng n mng ths Nbl Svgs, bfr th mssnrs cm.

t tk mjr dscvrs n mdcn t gt nthrplgsts t dmt th bvs. vrybdy sd t knw bt cnnbls — Nw Yrkr crtns hd stndrd ggs bt mssnrs bng bld n pts — bt th trth hd t b rsd by phny cdmc xprts wh dnd th vdnc f thr wn ys. t ll cms dwn t dlzng “Th thr,” nd thrby smrng n’s wn: Slf-htrd s th hddn scrt f mltcltrlsm, nd mny thr slf-dcptns f th Lft. Th mst bstflly cmpssnt flks hv lt f vry ngry flngs t hd, t sms.

Jn Gdll dvtd hr lf t stdyng chmps n th wld, n hrc cmmtmnt bcs chmps r wll-knwn t b dngrs. ftr th frst dcd f fld wrk sh ws shckd, shckd, t fnd t tht mrdr, nfntcd nd rp wr vrydy fr fr hr fvrt crttrs. Bchlr grps f chmps rtnly ht th brdrlnds t cmmt lttl myhm n nghbrng clns. Chmp mbs rn wld t chs dwn mnkys t t. (Why dd sh thnk thy hd ths lng cnn tth? T pl bnns?)

Tdy th sm myth-mkng sms t b gng n wth th Bnb ps n th Cng, cls rltvs f th chmps, wh w r tld lv lf f mnvrs sx nd lv, nd nvr d nythng nsty t ll. Tr-jrkng tls r tld bt Bnbs rscng lttl bby lphnts, nd nt fr prvt cnsmptn thr. slly t tks bt tn yrs fr wldlf blgsts t fll t f lv wth thr chsn spcs, nd m xpctng ny dy t rd tht Bnbs gt nsnly jls whn thr sx prtnrs wndr, r whn ths bby lphnts grw p nd strt t ct lk rmbncts tngrs.

Bt ths s nt bt chmps, nr bt ntv ppls. ‘m nly tlkng bt th ncrbl tndncy f lbrls t kwtw n w f “Th thr,” s th trndy nglsh prfssrs lk t cll t. ccrdng t cdmc myth, Th thr s sppsd t b th scpgt fr n’s wn nccptbl sd; thr s smthng t tht, bt fr th dmnnt cltr f mrc tdy, th trth s xctly th ppst. Fr lbrls, t s Th thr wh s bv crtcsm, nd t’s th n-grp — lk s flks — wh r rrdmbly vl. Why d y thnk thy vtd fr bm? T prv t thmslvs hw mch bttr thy r. t crtnly hd nthng t d wth th rlty f pckng snsbl ldr fr th cntry. bm vtrs r lvng n cmc strp f thr wn dvsng, nd t my tk rlly lf-thrtnng ntnl crss fr thm t cm dwn t rth. Jst wt fr th rnn r Nrth Krn Bmb, nd w’ll s.

Th trbl wth ll tht pc nd lv — whch dn’t mnd ppl fntszng bt — s tht sms t g lng wth rl htrd f n’s wn. t’s ntrstng jst t sk yr nrst lbrl frnd — “Cn y sy nythng gd bt mrc? nythng t ll?” — nd wtch thm flndr nd stmmr.

Wht r w t mk f lbrl mrcns wh lv wth bsssnl htrd f thr wn cntry? spclly whn thr cntry s th mst prsprs, lvbl, nd vrll, th mst bnvlnt cntry n th wrld?

(f y thnk thrs r mr bnvlnt, chck wh hs bn spprtng NSC nd hndrd pr cntrs rnd th wrld. r cmpr hw mch Sd mny gs t th Plstnns, vn ftr th Sd Ryls hv ffclly pldgd mllns. r chck t s wh fnncd nd crrd t th Grn Rvltn tht brght th Thrd Wrld t f rglr fmns. r… bt y gt th d.)

dn’t ndrstnd t t ll. Myb lbrls jst nd t fl mrlly sprr? Myb thy r ctng t thr dps Cmplxs? Myb thy hv jst ndctrntd thmslvs vr nd vr gn wth ll th hstrcl njstcs rhrsd by mrcn Blcks nd ndns? Myb thy r rlly th Prtns f r g, knd f prsctry clt f mrl prfctnsm?

S — why ll th slf-htrd? dn’t gt t. ‘m bffld.

ll knw s tht vry sngl tm tlk t lbrl, gt th sm nswr.

t’s nt gd fr th cntry. wsh thy wld jst dscvr ltl mr tlrnc nd cmpssn twrds thr wn cntry.

Shorter Whom the Gods Would Destroy

I love Strawmen almost as much as pie!


This is a Tintin thread, so where the fuck is the disemvowler?


Why do wingnuts hate copyright? Cutting and pasting subverts capitalism and its faithful representative, Google Ads.


Americans should practice more self-love.


Americans should practice more Dominican boy-love, like I do.


This post was more interesting. In a sense.


I didn’t expect this thread to go on so long. Many of you, the ones who engaged issues, raised great, probably winning, points. Most notably–outside of a few characters (Jaggers’ concubine/housekeeper had to be exotic, that sort of thing) the race of the actors playing them couldn’t matter less.

And even if you’re that concerned about it, this was a BBC production so you don’t get to sneak in arguments condemning PBS.

Also Dickens, the terribly talented writer, was by nature a muckraker, a gadfly, and a general pain in the ass to the knot of Scottish bankers in London who hid behind “a vizard of Presbyterian zeal”*.

*From Thomas Urquhart, who is absolutely beautiful, and whom SEK discusses somewhat off-handedly (true to form) but cleverly at


I thought we got rid of copy and paste troll.


When I’m in a frenzy of showing off how well I cut-n-paste from various cultural and Liberal Arts sites to “prove” how erudite I am,, I forget that this is supposed to be a humor blog.


This post was more interesting. In a sense.

The more I read stuff like this the more I’m convinced that these people are fundamentally damaged.

You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig

The more I read stuff like this the more I’m convinced that these people are fundamentally damaged.

What, the two separate scholarly studies* didn’t convince you?

* one showing conservatism to be a form of mental illness, and the other showing adult conservatism to be a result of abuse and other ills suffered upon the person as a child


In i839, the year Oliver Twist was published, there were many Black people living in London, mostly from the British colonies in the Caribbean, and Nancy could have easily been Black or mixed race. (The actress who plays Nancy in the PBS show is Jewish/African). All that Mr. Karnick demonstrates in his critique is that he is a racist scumbag.


Americans should practice more self-love.

Look, I’m getting old, and Kleenex is expensive. I might get four or five out on a good day.


For the record, I only cut and paste links that you can click and read, or ignore completely. C&Ping huge blocks of text is utter nonsense. I don’t have the humility (self-loathing? too much?) to cut great grand gobs of text someone else has written when I am capable of writing great gobs of text on my own.


@Simba B – Agreed, but actor212 is playing an admirable straight man here.

I believe information and amusement go hand in hand.


Um, copypasta troll:

Not only has your brand of trolling been done countless times before, even copying directly from James Lewis has as well.


Fred, I understand there are many brands of decaf on the market that are practically indistinguishable from the real thing. You kight consider trying a few.


Shorter James:
Americans should love themselves for not being cannibals, unlike Europeans.

Victorian Gary Ruppert

Codswallop! I say, dear man, a negroid acting like a God-Fearing Englishman™! Your Republicans refuse to understand that the demise of our great Empire is due to our precious island being overrun by foreigners, and the betrayal of the bedrock monarchist principles in which our great nation was founded.

Also, sodomy. Also.


Aaaaaaaaaand Blart.

Victorian Tourette's sufferer

Bounders! Coitus! Ankles!


Victorian Gary Ruppert

You needed something on the order of “here in the Heartland”.

Something like….”As those who reside in the Midlands would inform you…”


Fred is about to get the treatment for a copy-and-paste violation. And for not knowing what a monopoly is.

Wyatt Watts III

I hear they’re preparing a Rush Limbaugh directed version of Dickens’ novel where Oliver is portrayed by a young Dominican boy.

Th Athntc Trth Bfr Hs Dshnr

I, for one, side with Jefferson, and believe that differences of opinion need not be differences of character.

But I am absolutely NOT “Jeffersonian Republican”, even though everyone saw easily through me and already guessed I was. And I’ve never, ever heard of The Truth…

… although just like him, when I’m on the upside of my manic depressive cycle, I tend to use the exact same arrogant assumptions of intellectualism, and end up with the exact same egg on my face in an equal amount of time.

What’s more, I some how don’t seem to realize that constantly shifting identities just ends up only confusing myself; Everyone else can remember what I said under a particular name yesterday, where as I don’t seem to remember that “White Knight” was supposedly chosen as a nym because of the way I treat women, which quickly degenerated into an insane thread about how I satisfy them…

But watch! As I Alt-tab to my second browser, which is set up to use a different proxy server to the one I’m in now as White Knight, and then come back as “The Authentic” and say “in truth, I’ve never posted as much as everyone assumes”, and then I alt tab to another, or possibly even a Fred-related third browser/proxy combination and do it again as someone else! Nah, I kid, it’s a complete coincidence that whenever I’m here on one there’s also one “intellectual” with a badly phrased yet arrogant name (“Scottish Leader Of The First Crusade” etc) posting huge blocks of other people’s text, a deliberately dumb counterpart (“Fred”, “The Fool”), and of course little old me repeating the same thing over and over again. (“Jena” “DrDick” etc). Because nuanced personalities is too hard for someone with only the basic child-like skills of attention seeking and selfishness. What am I, an award winning Dickensian actor? Hah!


Here’s the thing, Repig. I try not to prejudice a broad swath of people based on ideological affiliation. And generally I don’t believe in the playing the game of anonymous psychoanalysis.

That said the mounds of evidence are, to put it mildly, compelling.


Please sir, I want some more muthrfn iced tes.


tea, sorry

You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig

Here’s the thing, Repig. I try not to prejudice a broad swath of people based on ideological affiliation. And generally I don’t believe in the playing the game of anonymous psychoanalysis.

Don’t confuse cause and effect. They became brain-damaged conservatives due to their damaged childhoods and/or a tendency towards genuine, diaganosable mental illness.

The ghost of John D. Rockefeller

There are too monopolies!

I for one have a monopoly over Fred’s ass yearnings. My fucking ECTOPLASM has more spine than this grovelling shitkicker pawn that thinks I need to be defended by parasite pus-sacks that post comments in internet threads instead of making money. I made my fortune grinding people’s bones into the ground and feeding off the hunger of their children. You think I need overeducated common toadie scum like you, Fred, rewriting my legacy?

How much money have you made sucking my spectral nutsack in this vile marxist cesspit today? Free market my engorged cumwand, you smegmadumpster!

You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig

Sorry, I hit post too soon.

My point is that conservatives aren’t mentally ill. It is that their conservatism ARISES due to their childhood abuse and/or their higher-than-average incidence of genuine mental illness.


Fred is about to get the treatment for a copy-and-paste violation. And for not knowing what a monopoly is.

I like to imagine the Disemvoweller as a great steam-powered iron industrial behemoth, replete with burning red fires, bursting pressure guages, gnashing gears and pistons, and row after row of serrated metal teeth. With Tintin always standing at the ready to throw the switch, and occasionally laughing maniacally…and the other Sadlies standing off to the side, not wanting to stand too close.

The ghost of Andrew Carnegie

Mr. Rockefeller:

I stand in awe of you, sir. I am still whipping the ghost of my accountant who told me I had to give my money away to start libraries for the hoi-polloi.


My son is SO GROUNDED.


white knight said,
March 31, 2009 at 16:46

Egg on my face.

Egg on your face AND a great big Cleveland Steamer on your chest?

Honey, you’re a mess!

alone in the dark

On a serious note, I found the casting of Freema Agyeman to play Tattycoram a very interesting choice. Besides the point that there were plenty of people of African descent in England at the time, it (for me, anyway) made the Meagles’ casual indifference and her anger at them resonate in a very different way, and made her grievance much more immediate.


From enemas to steampunk porn. Is this a great blog or what?


I haven’t been around here much the last few days, so my apologies if someone else has already linked to this gem, but otherwise…
Miss Universe visits Gitmo!

And she’s bursting at the seams with penetrating insights and trenchant commentary:
… an incredible experience … a wonderful time … a loooot of fun!
I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.


One of the great travesties of our time is that Instapundit The Miss Universe press release page “blog” does not allow comments.


Fred said,

March 31, 2009 at 16:45

Or you could just sockpuppet me and make up strawman arguments.

YAY!!!! Permission!


Or you could just sockpuppet me

Um, ewwww.

Also, I think what’s bothering Mr. Karnick is that bounder Dickens making Karnick’s favorite era look, well, less than perfect.


I promise not to use any facts or evidence for my rants about how great Free Markets are if you libs agree to use English in your replies to me.



I haven’t been around here much the last few days, so my apologies if someone else has already linked to this gem, but otherwise…
Miss Universe visits Gitmo!

It looks liked they pulled the Guantanamo post from Mendoza’s blog. You can find the text quoted at The Lede and the Huffington Post.


The funny thing is, about a month ago Dayana Mendoza said she wouldn’t mind at all following in Irene Sáez’s footsteps. Sáez won Miss Universe in 1981 and went on to a career in politics in Venezuela.

Good start, Dayana!



*solitary tear rolls down cheek*

That was..poetic. I’m so verklempt!


Wow. This is officially the worst thread ever.

Don’t say that! It is a masterpiece of its kind! I am marvelling at its all-devouring meta-hood!

For once, I don’t miss Bruce.


Yes indeed, how dare those thespian crypto-Stalinists infect such conservative bastions as PBS & the BBC with their PC plague! Remove them, PDQ & ASAP!



That’s one serious downer of a novel – little Oliver spends it starving, being beaten like a drum, & just when he lands in a cushy home, he sickens & dies. Yet it got turned into an Oscar-winning musical comedy … I can hardly wait for Broadway to do its slapstick-musical adaptations of Biko & The Diary Of Anne Frank.

BTW, no monopoly ever existed that wasn’t created by the government. Think about it!

No monopolies without government? Bwahahahaha! The Hudson’s Bay Company WAS Canada’s government for a good long while, & there sure as hell weren’t too many folks crazy enough to oppose THAT monopoly. New France? That’s not a serious land-grab … THIS is a serious land-grab. The Crown chartered it, but rich investors ran it & raked in the mountains of profit … hmm, socialism for the rich & capitalism for the poor – sounds strangely familiar, n’est-ce pas?

Besides which, when the cartels/combines basically OWN the government in question, the phrase “government intervention” doesn’t mean quite what the Randroids think it does.

“We’ll pass the laws you want – just tell us what you need.”
– Ferdinand Marcos


Government is backed by force.

A corporation is not. Corporations survive based on voluntary trades for goods and services.

Governments survive on force, coercion, and taxation theft.

A is A.



Those examples you gave were not under a TRUE Free Market.

Free Markets only exist when I say they do, like when I cheated the neighbor’s kid out of his allowance by selling him some oregano that I called Mad Dope. Let the buyer beware, I always say.

The Free Market will sort everything out if only those damn government regulations weren’t in the way.


Let’s see if I got this right, he’s complaining about PBS filming “Oliver Twist” when it was really the BBC that made it, and that they cast a black woman in a part when the original author never specified a race for the character and the story takes place at a time when there were, in fact, poor black and mixed-race women living in the London slums…

Is that about right??

Taxation is THEFT

A man should be entitled to the wages of his work without having it confiscated by a parasitic government.

Blackwater Merceneries

If any of you little old corporations are having any problems, we’ll take care of ’em for ya. We just got in some great helicoptor gunships courtesy of our connections in the Bush/911 administration. That’s in addition to our tanks and other goodies that we get for pennies on the dollar (the dollar the taxpayer paid for them, anyway)

A is A.


Government is backed by force.

A corporation is not. Corporations survive based on voluntary trades for goods and services.

Except in America, where corporations run the government and de facto rule by force.


A man should be entitled to the wages of his work without having it confiscated by a parasitic government.

That pretty much leaves you out of the picture then, doanit?


“xcpt n mrc, whr crprtns rn th gvrnmnt nd d fct rl by frc.”



A man should be entitled to the wages of his work without having it confiscated by a parasitic government.


Tell you what: you take your paycheck and meet me on the corner, where I will kick the living crap out of your ass and steal it from you!

Oh, and don’t bother looking for a cop. That’s, you know, paid for by taxes…


H jst frd ll f s, t, wtht ny npt frm shrhldrs whtsvr.

r y SR w rn th gvrnmnt?


I’ve had it up to HERE with government taxation.

If only sewers, roads, air quality, food quality, water quality, and Wall Street were run & regulated by the magically altruistic Free Markets, rather than the obviously evil government, we’d have a much better world!


Rick Wagoner said,

March 31, 2009 at 20:13

But Obama just fired me!

Just because you’re an incompetent boob running an incompetent company incompetenly don’t come running to us.

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

Miss Universe visits Gitmo!

John Cole posted about this and joked that her gushing was just the honey-ginger chicken talking (he is on our side of this issue, now that he’s a DFH, dunno how he felt about it all in his pre-granite-countertops days). My response:


You know, back in the 20th century it never occurred to me that I could become infuriated by hearing someone read a menu aloud.

The Gitmo shit wasn’t the first time, either – the self-praise by the Bush admin people for dropping, from 30,000 feet, food packets in quantities sufficient to feed 0.5% of the at-risk people in Afghanistan at the same time we were blasting the shit out of the place. With cluster bombs whose unexploded bomblets looked just like the food packets.

Seriously, the phrase “beans vinaigrette” still annoys the shit out of me.


W sr wr ncmptnt.

Tht’s why w wr bt t dclr bnkrptcy, bck n Dcmbr.

Bt ncl Sm stppd n nd gs s bllns f dllrs n gds (thnks, txpyr!) Thnks t y, w’v bn rwrdd fr ncmptnc. n th mrkt, w wld b xtnct by nw.


W gt bld t TWC n twnty yrs!

rn’t y gld y pd r flng sss t srvv? Nw y cn by crppy Sbrngs dscntd thnks t yr tx mny!


actor212 said,
March 31, 2009 at 20:13

Tell you what: you take your paycheck and meet me on the corner, where I will kick the living crap out of your ass and steal it from you!

Oh, and don’t bother looking for a cop. That’s, you know, paid for by taxes…

Don’t bother looking for a corner either! Roads and sidewalks are, you know, paid for by taxes too!


I hate government taxation!

But I love government spending – as long as it is my beloved Republicans doing the spending. I know I didn’t say a word during all the years that my beloved Republicans spent like drunken sailors from 2001 to 2006, but this is different.

You see, my beloved Republicans spent my money on invading foreign countries and killing thousands of innocent brown women and children. That is OK. What I don’t like is when some Democrat like evil Obama spends my money on American infrastructure, American schools, and American medical care. I hate thoe things.

The Goddamn Batman Is A Sex Machine To All The Chicks

I hope that we can work out our differences and concentrate on what’s important here, which is what a fine-looking Nubian sister Sophie Okonedo is.


Hy, nyn wnt t by hvly dscntd Ddg Clbr, sbsdzd by yr txs?



Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
March 31, 2009 at 20:17

Seriously, the phrase “beans vinaigrette” still annoys the shit out of me.

Didn’t Jimmy Cagney play “Beans” Vinaigrette in some old Warner Bros. gangster movie?


it is a well known fact that black people did not exist until the mid 1960s. To show them in any historical film is just being PC.


Didn’t Jimmy Cagney play “Beans” Vinaigrette in some old Warner Bros. gangster movie?

“On toppa da arugula, Ma!”


Hy, w ls hv sm Jp Cmmndrs!

Thnks gn, txpyr!


aside from Civil War movies that is, they they are just set dressing while white people dash about ripping bodices, dueling and being altogether wonderful and dreamy.


I hope these bailouts work. We earned $350 million the last time we bailed Chrysler out.


A big, fat, black cock up my pooper

Is someone obsessed with teh ghey? Have you ever had a fat black cock up your ass and yearning for the next time or is that just wishful thinking on your part?

[I’m assuming that’s not actually Tintin as Tintin has never before indicated a preference for black cock. As far as I know, anyway.]


Aw, Fred…I’m so disappointed in you. You almost seemed engaging.

Namejacking Troll

You know what I really love?

Projecting my suppressed desires onto others. So I calm my inner demons with socially acceptable distractions, like hunting niggers for sport.


My word.


Tonguejacking Troll said,

Fixed yer nym…


So is “Fred” the Red State Trike Force’s trolling dream come to fruition? Irrelevant Randian tangents about free markets on S,N?


Hey, I admire this guy’s restraint. At least he didn’t call for an all-white version of “Porgy and Bess” in the interests of racial balance.


Damnit, there just aren’t enough faithful adaptations of Oliver Twist, PBS had to ruin it by doing something different!

A Modern Oliver Twist (1906)
Oliver Twist (1909)
Enfance d’Oliver Twist, L’ (1910)
Oliver Twist (1912/II)
Oliver Twist (1912/I)
Oliver Twist (1916)
Oliver Twist (1920)
Oliver Twist, Jr. (1921)
Oliver Twist (1922)
Oliver Twist (1933)
Oliver Twist (1948)
“Oliver Twist” (1955)
“The DuPont Show of the Month: Oliver Twist (#3.4)” (1959)
“Oliver Twist” (1960)
“Théâtre de la jeunesse, Le: Oliver Twist” (1962)
Oliver Twist (1982/II) (TV)
Oliver Twist (1982/I) (TV)
“Oliver Twist” (1985)
Oliver & Company (1988)
“Nouvelles aventures d’Oliver Twist, Les” (1997)
Oliver Twist (1997) (TV)
“Oliver Twist” (1999)
Twist (2003)
Boy Called Twist (2004)
Oliver Twist (2005)
Oliver Twink (2007) (V)
Oliver Twist (2007) (TV)



actor212 said,

March 31, 2009 at 20:27 (kill)

I hope these bailouts work. We earned $350 million the last time we bailed Chrysler out.

Makes one wonder how much money America earned from the Bush I S&L bailout, doesn’t it?

Might give one some insight into the value of buying AIG.


Please sir, I’d like some more mutherfn iced tea.


Net net, Zombie?

We lost $124 billion.


Victorian Tourette’s sufferer said,
Bounders! Coitus! Ankles!

Needed repeating.


TKK said,

March 31, 2009 at 20:56

You missed the adult version, “I’ll Have A Twist”


The ‘shorter…’ concept isn’t served well here – the author of the piece even notes that the inclusion of the black woman didn’t detract from the viewing experience, completely contradicting this post.

That said, Sammy is still a weenie.

Big Bad Bald Bastard

You know what would have made this production of Oliver Twist better, libruler, and eeevilllller?

Changing Nancy to Nancy-Boy, with Ru Paul playing the resplendent drag doxie, and having Bill Syke’s hanging death be the end-result of an autoerotic asphyxiation event gone horribly awry.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 31, 2009 at 22:14

You know what would have made this production of Oliver Twist better, libruler, and eeevilllller?

Changing Nancy to Nancy-Boy, with Ru Paul playing the resplendent drag doxie, and having Bill Syke’s hanging death be the end-result of an autoerotic asphyxiation event gone horribly awry.

Too late. Done already. I think it was called An American Carol.


Changing Nancy to Nancy-Boy, with Ru Paul playing the resplendent drag doxie, and having Bill Syke’s hanging death be the end-result of an autoerotic asphyxiation event gone horribly awry.

I’m guessing “Oliver Twink” had something along those lines… “Please, sir, I want some more!” “Some MORE?!!”

Big Bad Bald Bastard

Too bad double-wetsuits just aren’t “period appropriate”- artistic license must be invoked.


Egg on your face AND a great big Cleveland Steamer on your chest?

Wait, white knight is Matt Drudge?

Big Bad Bald Bastard

I stand corrected, RB… now, two diving-helmets at once would be a feat!

The safe-word is “Swordfish”.


The safe-word is “Swordfish”.

“What? I can’t hear you through the helmets, your voice is too muffled. I guess I’ll just whip harder… or maybe the spurs…”

Big Bad Bald Bastard

“What? I can’t hear you through the helmets, your voice is too muffled. I guess I’ll just whip harder… or maybe the spurs…”

Furiously banging floor:

… .– — .-. -.. ..-. .. … ….

“Damn these heavy boots!”


*sipping herbal tea quietly*

I learn a lot hanging out here.


Katrick seems unaware that the casting and other production decisions were made across the Atlantic. He needs to address his complaints to the BBC. Not least because he deserves the kind of stiff-upper-lip verbal abuse he’d get in response.


I learn a lot hanging out here.
Another auto-assfixiation joke coming right up.


Funny how Karnick complains about politicizing a Dickens novel… has he ever actually *read* Dickens, paid much attention to how many of his protagonists Karnick would consider gutter trash? I don’t know that I’d go so far as to call him a liberal, but if he didn’t actually trash the British class structure, he certainly advocated quite a bit for social mobility.

And this is coming from someone who was in Oliver! twice in my life. Though if I ever did it again, I’d play Mr. Bumble as less bombastic and more apathetic and cynical, not that middle-school musical theatre really gives you many options.


Also, woooo black/Jewish supporting actress as Rose. Am I to believe there were absolutely no African/Caribbean people living in the slums of mid-19th century London?


What was I thinking, what was I thinking
What was I thinking, what could I have been thinking
It’s going one time, it’s going two times
Sold to the girl who wears the stunned expression

As I took it off their hands
A five pound note was changing hands
As I took it off their hands I had plans, Sam had plans

Now that I own the BBC
How do I appease the right wing?
Now that I own the BBC
How do I do this Masterpiece thing?

All this power, all this glory
All these lib’rals and their altered stories,
It’s leftist thinking, It’s leftist thinking
It’s leftist thinking, too much leftist thinking.

Hey Sammy Karnick, help me out
I’m wingnut blind, I’m wingnut blind
You know the way to lay things out
For the refined and right wing mind.

Now that I own the BBC
How do I appease the right wing?
Now that I own the BBC
How do I do this Masterpiece thing?

Hey ST Karnick, help me out
I’m color blind, I’m color blind
You know the way to work things out
De-colorize and still feel fine

Should we go brighter, should we go lighter?
Sam says go whiter, go right and righter
It’s wingnut thinking, It’s wingnut thinking
I should be drinking, what should you be thinking?



I immediately heard the Blue Oyster Cult song, Dominance and Submission

In times square now people do the polka
Dominance….submission…diving helmets appear
This new years eve was the final barrier
Dominance….submission…diving helmets appear
We took you up and we put you in the back seat
Dominance….submission…diving helmets appear
From year to year we looked out for the venture
Dominance….submission…diving helmets appear


What I like most is how, true to the words of Jo Glo there are no right wing trolls


You know, for me, a better shorter would’ve been

“The accurate, true to the novel portrayal of Fagin in this production of Oliver Twist demonstrates the modern liberal biases of the producers”

I mean, the thing about casting a black woman is stupid and racist certainly, but when you start arguing that an accurate portrayal of a character stems from liberal anti-man sentiment you’ve REALLY gone round the bend to crazyville.


This reaction is so opposite of the reaction of right-wingers to the Broadway production of Miss Saigon, where Johnathan Pryce was cast as the Engineer, a half-Vietnamese character. Actor’s Equity took the side of the Asian-American actors who protested, who felt someone who was actually Asian should be cast in the role. But the wingnuts of the day tsk-tsked at the awful PC-ness of the actor’s union. What does it matter what race the ACTOR is? Aren’t we supposed to be a COLOR BLIND society?

Of course, the right-wingers probably didn’t give a flying fuck, they just loved being able to take a shot at a labor union.

But NOW, oh, well, we can’t have any COLOR BLIND CASTING, now can we?

The moral: it’s OK for a white person to play another race – that’s being properly “color blind”. (Hey, what’s the big deal about “balckface” roles, huh?) But woe be to any Negro or other non-white person who thinks they can play a “white” character!

Don’t get them started on Denzel Washington’s excellent turn as Don Pedro in “Much Ado About Nothing.” Because he really doesn’t look very Italian.


“Government is backed by force. A corporation is not. Corporations survive based on voluntary trades for goods and services. Governments survive on force, coercion, and taxation theft.”

Guy never heard of a Baldwin-Felts detective.

“War is capitalism with the gloves off” -Tom Stoppard


From the article (my emphasis): “Okonedo was born of a Jewish mother and black father and looks very African in descent.”


I say the entire cast is a giant cock slap in Dicken’s sainted face. He would never have dreamed of casting any of them in their roles. I know because they were not even born when what was not a movie was written for televisions that DID NOT EVEN EXIST.


Don’t get them started on Denzel Washington’s excellent turn as Don Pedro in “Much Ado About Nothing.” Because he really doesn’t look very Italian.

Yea, nevermind Laurence Fishburne in that other Elizabethan-England play, “Othell–”

Oh. Wait…


This racist conservative’s review also blows the ending.
Sophie Okonedo is a great actress–has to be said. And I adore colorblind casting which is why I’m not making untold tens of dollars writing for Big Hollywood.


Forgot it was this ST Karnick:

# 22: The Best Conservative Movies of the Last 25 Years [S.T. Karnick]

Brazil (1985): Vividly depicting the miserable results of elitist utopian schemes, Terry Gilliam’s Brazil portrays a darkly comic dystopia of malfunctioning high-tech equipment and the dreary living conditions common to all totalitarian regimes. Everything in the society is built to serve government plans rather than people. The film is visually arresting and inventive, with especially evocative use of shots that put the audience in a subservient position, just like the people in the film. Terrorist bombings, national-security scares, universal police surveillance, bureaucratic arrogance, a callous elite, perversion of science, and government use of torture evoke the worst aspects of the modern megastate.


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