Two Minute Andrew Breitblart
Posted on March 29th, 2009 by Tintin
Last week Americans For Limited Government For Rich People Who Don’t Need Abortions invited Andrew Breitbart to a bar in DC to explain to about six of its members his new vision for conservatives, which basically boils down to his idea that more Republican Congressmen should dress like Andrew and go to Andrew’s extremely talented barber. Andrew’s well-lubricated “speech” was almost 20 minutes. Who has the time for that? So click on the above video and get all the good parts in about two minutes with, of course, some things that needed fixing.
I dunno.
It’s WEIRD, is what it is.
I kind of feel like I’ve seen this before. Another time, in another universe.
Maybe it was Last THURSDAY!
Sheesh. I HATE summer reruns…
mikey
My gawd. The train. It is wrecked.
@teh gorn. Yeah, but tbogg made you watch the whole video without, you know, the fixings. . .
Gorns are very patient by nature.
But you do raise a fair point…
Yeah, actually I did give up on TBogg’s version by about 1:30 in.
To be honest, this version’s 2:28 was still about 2:27 too much.
Penis? Don’t mind if I do!
Gorns are very patient by nature.
It comes, quite likely, from trying to put our sleeveless cocktail dress on with these clumsy three-fingered lizard hands.
Can you imagine if we wore shoes? We never would have developed agriculture. We’d have spent ALL our time trying to tie our stupid little lizard shoes.
Which could explain why we travel the universe barefoot…
Having six fingers would probably result in a lot of hexagonal design. If your cocktail dresses were made out of hundreds of tiny little shiny hexagons, you wouldn’t even need sequins to sparkle.
And if you layered the hexasequins with some measure of care, even James Tiberius Kirk would have a hard time getting your bra off. Thus, you’d have more time to work out 6-based warp drive technology.
Cause, you know, sex with Kirk is painfully distracting, lemme tell you.
And, synchronously enough, the episode of Third Rock where The Big Giant Head impregnates Jan Hooks was just on. Weird how it all fits together, almost as if it were a pattern…
That was real? You faked that, right? Was that really the Breitbart guy?
You can never tell what these miserable liberal blogs will fake.
That stuff in the wineglass looked funny.
Looked like he was drinking beer out of a wineglass.
Not the first glass, surely. And it must have been strong.
But it looked yellow with foam on the top. So, I hope it was beer.
Please stop, or you’re going to start making me feel sorry for the broke-dick right wing.
Andrew Breitblart is a genuis for our time! An American treasure, he is!
feel sorry for the broke-dick right wing
Perhaps looking back on some archived material from the past eight years would help with that condition.
Andrew holds a glass almost as steadily as Ann Altlouse.
Geez, what a complete bag of tossage.
almost as steady as Julian from the Trailer Park Boys
You guys just don’t appreciate what a mensch Andrew is. He didn’t swoon or stutter once during that speech. I’m sorry but that dude is PRO!
What this video proves is that conservatives have been driven to drink by their unpopularity.
I just literally flew in from Los Angeles. Boy are my arms tired. And my hair. Boy that Oprah. If not for her and her minions we woulda had Hillary to beat which we were sooo ready to do but this Obama character and his pop culture mystique was like totally something we could not deal. Hey did you know if you unzip a bean bag chair and stick your head in it you can like breathe in there? Its weird.
yeah, sure libs make all the fun you want but didn’t use any stinking TELEPROMPTER!
add “he” between but and didn’t. thanks.
The Gorn don’t have bean bag chairs.
We do, however, make chairs that resemble Dolphins.
But when you sit in them the back of your cocktail dress gets moist…
That’s what I’m saying, Honus! Thank YOU! He’s like the anti-TOTUS. Look out loony libs!
The fact is, liberals are the enemies of USA. They should be in camps.
Only skilled alcoholics can be drunk as skunks and not miss a beat whilst blathering.
So in his world…the real holders of power in America are the cast of NBC Thursdays ten years ago.
That’s it, when the RAHOWA starts I’m siding with Jerry Seinfeld.
wow. that was so, um, inspiring. whoever paid to get breitblart to dc sure made a wise investment.
I believe he is, in fact, calling a square dance.
hey at least you Gorns HAVE hands, try to put on a cocktail dress with nothing but a sucker arm!
Sucker arm? LUXURY! We’re not even fully material, and YET — we were able to conquer earth SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY MILLION YEARS AGO (that’s 3/4 of a billion! suck on that!), plus Yaksh and Tond.
That beer is probably one of them fancy Belgian beers.
Apparently, “pop culture” consists of not really wanting to end up living in a refrigerator box for the next couple of decades.
By the way, Andrew, as someone who is still in Los Angeles, I would just like to say, don’t hurry back.
Oh, and by the way, this is for our old friend Gary Ruppert:
Gary, we’ve already got one liberal in a camp- Camp David.
In the short run, flooding the low-end opinion dissemination market with dittoheads with an endless line of credit (and quietly taking over the industry itself so that nobody ever actually measures potentially-compromising ratings and winds up paring circulation down to the Jello Belt) was a net positive for the right generally and the neocon Republican wing specifically. The problem is threefold:
a) People will inevitably develop a bullshit filter in response to even the worst string of luridities. A good three fifths of the electorate was prepared to vote for Clinton, the decades of Rushbo screaming about murder, lesbianism, and belly laughs apparently ignored in this calculus.
b) As it turns out, people willing to take lots of money to constantly rant loathsome things at other people and act like movie stars for it turn out to be horrible human beings obsessed with their own fortune and fame and convinced they’re above the law and custom of the land. In addition to the simpler cases of fraud and drug abuse rampant in the industry, this eventually leads to delusions of grandeur on a massive scale. There are between hundreds and thousands of people out there who think the sinecure they’re getting for repeating the talking points of a Rush mouthpiece makes them a national celebrity and means they’re the end-all be-all of the Party and the movement. And what’s worse, the bigger wheels succeed, because:
c) The constant, uncountervailed right-wing effluvium produces a disconnect between people who listen or consider the effluvium credible and the people who accidentally brush by on their way to morning traffic radio. The Party finds it profitable and agreeable to take the obvious fiction of Rush’s ratings numbers, and to accept one of the country’s worst-liked people as a national conscience. This produces a treadmill effect on his hangers-on and peers, who assume if Rush gets to be effective head of the Party they might at least be cabinet-level douchebags. Darwinian forces gradually push out voices selected for anything but ability to stay relentlessly on-message, and the idiot prima-donnas suddenly running the show gradually push anyone with half a brain out into the cold.
The ultimate arresting factor, as far as I’m concerned, is this: now that the average level of discourse on the right-wing radio is around that of Pastor Swank and anyone with the right connections is entitled to what amounts to corporate welfare, the people involved in the right-wing echo chamber are going to continue losing money. It’s one thing to take over money-making media and install friendly opinion editors; it’s quite another to strip away anything that turns a profit, begin actively spurning the means by which profits are actually reached, and then treat corporate assets as personal media-idiot bailout money. The result has generally been that private actors no longer have any sustainable way of funding the echo chamber as it now exists.
So they begin robbing the public – which just makes it worse, because now they can afford to pay your Oshry-style turbo-morons to scream the right thing now and again.
The echo chamber is no longer either receiving state support or in contact with anyone who really knows or cares how to run a profitable media enterprise. It’s drying up, and it’s taking the Republicans with it.
Buckley Senior might have been a foul little Nazi, but he’d piss circles around Breitblart & his blarty-boys. And that’s why, even in states with robust communities of wealthy and aspirant financial actors, the Republicans are suddenly way behind in registered voters and donors. Outside of their little political fiefdoms, there’s just no way to keep the brand alive long-term.
Is having “a man-crush on Thadeous McCotter” necessarily a bad thing?
YES, yes it is.
Jesus F. Christ. Put the fucking drink down. Get a fucking shave. Comb your fucking hair. Your mother lets you go out in public looking like that? You’re supposed to be making friends and influencing people looking like that?
More presentable wingnuts, please.
That’s two minutes and twenty-seven seconds of my life that I’m never getting back.
He hopes to convince enough Republican funding sources that Oprah and George Clooney are more powerful than Rush and Drudge and by so doing, make a living.
The man is clearly a genius, and a courageous one at that. If only the Hollywood conspiracy hadn’t conspirated to deny us of more of his cultural products.
I’m afraid to watch.
lol! yay! Do it again, do it again! Only this time, do it as a “Breitblart After The Dentist”!
Surely you remember Ziegler, after a paranoid, shifty, smarmy lie-fest, sneering at Nate Silver that he wouldn’t possibly have the courage to post the interview on his blog.
A core part of the wingnut experience is volitive aspiration. As long as you don’t admit to yourself that you have shit in your beard, you’re a supermodel.
He’s not the first wingnut to have noted that Oprah Winfrey is the real malign force manipulating American politics behind the scenes:
a tribe that has adopted the “wisdom” of the ancient serpent as its own”
I think Johnson done did cribbed this one from Robert E. Howard.
Crom, how soon before the righties start referring to President Obama as a “Stygian Dog”?
Broken clock, twice a day, etceterblart.
Also, ol’ Thad looks like a fucking serial killer. Maybe he’ll kill and eat Blartblart next time they meet.
I was going to post saying that rather than watch that, I was going to spend two and a half minutes smashing the back of my head with the toilet seat. Then my curiosity got the better of me.
I’m thinking that I made the wrong choice.,
New wingnut meme: Jennifer Anniston stole the election. ‘Cuz Friends. And ACORN.
The strongest impression I get from this video is that Breitbart desperately needs to take a piss. I know all too well that back-and-forth shuffle where you have ~8 beers in you, are a little too drunk to muster the effort to head to the bathroom, think you’re on a roll with whatever rant is running through your lips … But I sure as hell know better than to allow a microphone anywhere near me on such an occasion.
The fact is liberals, summer camp. And we all know that summer is coming, and you know what that means. HIT THE MUSIC!
Are you ready for the sunshine?
Are you ready for the birds and bees,
the apple trees,
and a whole lot of fooling around
Are you ready for the summer?
Are you ready for the hot nights?
Are you ready for the fireflies,
the moonlit skies,
and a whole lot of fooling around!
No more pencils, no more books
No more teachers dirty looks
No more math and history,
Summer time has set us free
Are you ready for the summer?
Are you ready for the hot nights?
Are you ready for the fireflies,
the moonlit skies,
and a whole lot of fooling around!
That beer is probably one of them fancy Belgian beers.
Yeah, the glass actually looks like a Stella glass, which isn’t what I would call fancy, but does explain the glass.
However, I do have to point out that Stella is colloquially known as ‘wifebeater’ in the UK, it being the drink of choice for chavs and neds.
Well, if he’s not the second coming of Dean Martin, I don’t know who is. Really, I was so overcome by his roguish charisma, I nearly missed his message, which was, I think, “I have an e-mail buddy!”
That is some powerful shit, man.
Shorter Butthurt: “It’s Oprah’s fault we didn’t get to run against Hillary, who we totally would have beaten since we had the 60s culture war narrative all mapped out and ready to go and because we could have totally used that race-baiting tactic that’s worked so well for us for 40 years without getting called on it the way we did every time we tried it when running against an actual black guy. And knowing Oprah means Obama is nothing more than just a celebrity with no experience, completely unlike Ronald Reagan.”
Gorn cocktail dress
For when you want to show a lot of leg.
It’s actually called “wifebeater” because of the scene in the film of “A Streetcar Named Desire” where Marlon Brando shouts “Stellaaaaaa!” while wearing a wifebeater t-shirt.
Still, it stuck for a reason…
Y’know what I miss most about ‘Murka? The general availability of reasonably-priced six packs of Hoegaarden (Stella Artois = meh) in supermarkets. Sure, it’s a light fruity beer only drunk by girly men, but damn it’s tasty. After trying a Gueuze once, I’ll stick with the safer Belgian stuff.
German supermarkets = German beer, which is good but unexciting. And possibly some Budweiser. Ew.
People like Breitbart and Roger L Simon must feel cheated.They were so sure when they renounced liberalism that they were on the cutting edge of a triumphant future.Only to have it blow up in their faces.Yet their failure is our comedy gold as we get to watch as their egos refuse to acknowledge that they picked the wrong horse.
Hey liberals, I was watching this thing on C-Span last night before going out, and it was a panel with both Goldberg and Kristol answering questions from irate, elderly, confused Conservatives. Poor Jonah’s forehead was was lobster red and his answers all took the form of the fratboy who shows up late for class and then babbles incessantly to try to cover up the fact that he didn’t do the reading (I know I’ve read the comparison between Jonah and the half-smart fratboy somewhere before, either here or at another leftwing blog). The questions mostly had the tone of “I paid for this country, goddamnit, how did we end up hiring some black guy to run things?”
If you guys had seen it you’d have had a field day with it.
I can’t remember the last time I saw someone on television whose opinions supposedly coincided with mine who wasn’t a total embarrassment. Looks like it’s up to, well, me, to be the savior of the dim Right Wing. Bookmark it.
#
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Lesley said,
March 29, 2009 at 6:28 (kill)
Only skilled alcoholics can be drunk as skunks and not miss a beat whilst blathering.
Ah.
So I’ve got ONE skill.
This year’s looking up….
who was the sucker mc, Rick Santorum Jr?
When Breitblart was getting into which California congressman he thought was cool, for a moment I thought he was going to mention Darrell Issa, and his cool dyed hair and gestapo leather jacket.
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Rightwingsnarkle said,
March 29, 2009 at 8:59 (kill)
That’s two minutes and twenty-seven seconds of my life that I’m never getting back.
I bailed right after he tried to make Feingold into Satan.
That monkey ain’t dancing fast enough for me….
Sure were a lot of people gabbing in the bar while Andrew was trying to speak.
Did he mean to say at the end there that Thad calls him his “butt boy”?
Shorter Breitblart: Oprah commanded Clooney and Damon to command the plebes to vote for B. Hussein O., and it all went according to plan. But here I am to save the day.
Good analysis, Anje. Stick with it. That’s what’ll win back the evangelicals.
If you’re going to have a man-crush on a Republican congressman (and I’m not saying you should) then it’s got to be Aaron Schock.
Maybe they can hire Moses Wine to find out where their talent went. The earlier novels had some craft, but the later ones are shit. for example, “the left coast’ boogeyman is eco-terrorism. that bugaboo has been touted for ten years by wingtards, and they can’t get over the fact it just is very rare.
You got me to google Moses Wine, Cletus.
Jebus!
Perhaps Roger could update it. “Moses Whine”
kavalier, come on. I know he’s a smoker with orange skin who’s prone to weeping, but how could you not have a man-crush on a Rebublican called Böner?
Did somebody say Böner?
Heh. Breitbart made a doody. Heh.
Stella Artois is Belgian French for “Corona”.
This should tell you something.
This should tell you something.
Yeah. Hopefully it’s “don’t go on television”…
mikey
Howcum Buttblart isn’t wearing a cocktail dress like in that other picture? I’ve never seen him wear anything else before.
Hey Liberals, bet you thought I didn’t notice that the lyrics to that song are misplaced. I realize that the song doesn’t begin with the line, “Are you ready for the sunshine..” but what happened was that the damn CD player skipped and went to that line first. I just wanted you to be aware of that.
The ultimate arresting factor, as far as I’m concerned, is this: now that the average level of discourse on the right-wing radio is around that of Pastor Swank and anyone with the right connections is entitled to what amounts to corporate welfare, the people involved in the right-wing echo chamber are going to continue losing money.
Alec – I think you’re right on with your essay, although I think the reason the RW echo chamber is losing money is the economy-crash so powerfully aided by its very own success in getting the public to go along with its insanity at election time.
I’d also say that with Democratic majorities in office, it’s possible that a stream of Armstrong-Williams-like media bribery direct from taxpayer money has dried up. I have a strong hunch that that kind of propaganda-peddling was far more common than we know.
…dammit, and you said that in your essay, and I read it, and just didn’t retain it.
Sunday mornings are not my best time.
Yours was an excellent comment.
That was only two minutes?? It seemed like two eternities. No matter how long I live, I will never get those precious moments back and now feel an overwhelming urge to hunt down Breitbart and cock punch him repeatedly (Why yes, I have been reading too much Rude Pundit, why do you ask?).
Dude.
Not just Belgian beers; I have a Fischer glass that same shape.
I miss the olden days, when weird people who longed for attention simply charged a quarter and bit the head off a chicken, and the next day the tent would be gone and there’d only be feathers left.
Oh our sweet Gorn Overlords.
So in an abundance of boredom, I clicked over to to the Get Liberty link. Top story on their “blog” is written by Carter Clews.
Who dat?
SourceWatch sez:
Etc.
Yeah Andy, 9/11 changed everything. Have fun working with unbalanced douchebags.
So Stryx’ piece got me to thinking.
When you belong to an organization who’s core ideology is literally “there are no rules but WIN, any way you can”, an organization that seems to exist only in order to accumulate power, and you suffer the kind of defeats that the Republican Party did in ’06 and ’08, what do you suppose you might learn from that?
mikey
Ahh mikey, you ask the wrong question. We all know what we would learn from it. The great and glorious REAL AMERICANS of the G∅P are obviously incapable of learning. There’s empirical evidence out the wazoo, so to speak.
Why, I’d learn that it’s all the fault of the liberals and the poor people and Barney Frank and I’d cry my little heart out BECAUSE IT’S NO FAIR BOO HOO HOO!
And then I’d probably try to peddle some story about Joe Biden’s daughter, because that’s what Jesus would do.
Certainly SEEMS to be the case, PeeJ.
But considering the inherent nature of what politics IS, it should at some point become obvious to even the most brain-dead koolaid consumers that when your ideology requires you to act in ways counterproductive, indeed detrimental to your constituency, said ideology has become, I think MARGINALIZED is the technical term, and your ideology is now an impediment to the acquisition of power.
So now the question becomes, are you as an organization still about WINNING, or are you about ideological purity regardless of the cost to your ambitions?
A few years ago, before I watched the relentless stupidity of bush/cheney and their fellow travelers, if confronted with a similar question I would have believed without hesitation that they would jettison the ideology in a typically craven desire for power over all things.
Now it’s nothing short of fascinating to watch them try to thread that needle, trying to find a way to “re-brand” what has been utterly discredited and rejected by the electorate…
mikey
And then I’d probably try to peddle some story about Joe Biden’s daughter, because that’s what Jesus would do.
Ha!
It does explain why the conservatards are so desperate to claim anything popular as “conservative” – rock songs, movies, historical figures, messiahs. Anything to Regain The Permanent Majority™.
We learned that Al Gore is fat.
We learned that Al Gore is fat.
Are you sure?
‘Cause I thought that was Michael Moore….
mikey
mikey, here’s a hint why I think you you were (or would have been) wrong to expect that: think Catholic Church. The whackier they get, the more ardent their staunchest adherents become.
fascinating to watch them try to thread that needle
Especially since they trying to thread it with the mooring cable of an Exxon supertanker.
Praise Gorn!
It seems I am not aware of all Internet Traditions. In 2004 Mr. Carter Clews & Co, aka LaptopLobbyist, got into a pissing match with a Mr. Normal Bob over a website Mr. Normal ran called Jesus Dress Up.
Mr. Normal devotes a page to the outcome of that match.
think Catholic Church. The whackier they get, the more ardent their staunchest adherents become.
No, PeeJ.
See, that’s my point. The Catholic Church is structured on a completely different architecture. They don’t “win” by attracting 51% of any constituency to affirmatively ask that they be given legislative and economic leadership positions. In fact, in the Catholic Church, and similar institutions, it is actually a feature that there is a certain screening process. They DO value ideological purity over intelligence, growth or even economic success, although it is true that they have developed a model that returns huge economic success in spite of the process that filters out rational thought.
But politics is NOT a new concept. In order to accumulate political power, you MUST win elections. And that means, at a minimum, getting 51% of the electorate to choose you to have all the power. And it’s not a great leap to understand that at least frequently, people will select the leadership they feel will improve their own lives to the greatest degree.
The Republicans are failing precisely because they are violating basic rules of broad pandering that they helped to develop. And they KNOW it. They just can’t let go of the discredited ideology, primarily because the remaining Republicans in power were elected by a regional or even local majority who demand ideological purity. Which would be fine, if they accepted that they are now a regional party. The fact that they want to compete on a national basis while rejecting, indeed, disrespecting and even openly hating a very large component of the national electorate is a big part of what makes this process so entertaining…
mikey
Oh I agree that it’s entertaining. And I would like to discuss further but right now the Ho is whing about how the waffles aren’t made yet and blah blah. I hafta go make brunch. He didn’t even make me a bloody mary, the ungrateful little fuck.
In order to accumulate political power, you MUST win elections.
UR DOIN IT WRONG
We surround you.
The Breitblart Militia.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3282409728/nm0001704
-GSD
“Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.”
–Katherine “Tits” Stalin Harris
I remember when leftards accused Bush of doing cocaine while president. (Never happened, of course)
Hey, how ’bout Biden’s coke-snortin’ daughter?*
* yeah yeah, I know that this could be another “African Press International”-type hoax because no tape has been produced as of yet.
Day-Amm, Thunder.
She’s a venal, dishonest tool, but THOSE are QUITE respectable…
mikey
I remember when leftards accused Bush of doing cocaine while president.
I don’t. Refresher, please? And remember the usual rules—random low-traffic crazies and one single crazy comment on a Daily Kos, HuffPo, or whatever thread does not speak for all of leftardom.
And, of course, we all know that there’s quite a chasm between the vice president’s daughter and, you know, the actual president.
And, of course, we all know that there’s quite a chasm between the vice president’s daughter and, you know, the actual president.
Don’t you remember all the leftards claiming Bush was a lesbian because of Ms. Cheney? How soon we forget, loony libs!
I remember when leftards accused Bush of doing cocaine while president.
Bush was accused of doing coke before being supposedly “born again,” by Kitty Kelley and others, but he was never accused of doing coke while being president, so fuck off.
By the way, we now have a president who admits having done cocaine and smoked marijuana. The previous president (Bush) admitted to being an alcoholic and would not deny that he had used cocaine. The previous president (Clinton) admitted to smoking marijuana. I look forward to our next president, who will admit to shooting up heroin in his misspent youth.
Legalization is getting closer all the time.
I heard somewhere – I think it was here on this site! – that liberals all said that George W. Bush did cocaine in the White House.
So it must be true that liberals all said that.
Found it:
In your face, libs!
“cocaine is a hell of a drug”
George Bush
This guy looks like every other twat in Hollywood.
Possibly Demented troll is demented and misheard.
Bush drank a Coke in the White house.
The he spilled it on to the Defcon one instruction manual and decoder rings and then set fire to the drapes and then blew up some goddamn country Wherethefuckistan and then …
But what’s important is that he did NOT use a teleprompter while under the influence of caffeine.
George Bush fell from a couch, slightly cut his face and bruised his lip, after choking on a pretzel, all while not drinking.
Come on, people!!
Is this the face of a Cokehead™ Preznit?
German supermarkets = German beer, which is good but unexciting.
Try the Bamberg Rauchbier if you want excitement.
Y’know what I miss most about ‘Murka? The general availability of reasonably-priced six packs of Hoegaarden
One of the few reasons I can think of not to move to Europe is that I’m terribly afraid the opportunites for good Tex-Mex food and Negra Modelo would be few and far between. I can’t live without flour tacos, enchiladas and Mexican beer, damn it. I do realize there would be compensations . . .
Is this the face of a Cokehead™ Preznit?
Well, his nose ain’t bleedin’. Of course, maybe the cartiledge is just flat gone by now.
Is this the face of a baby-eating Vice Preznit?
I hear ya on that one, Candy. Every time I go abroad for any length of time the first stop on the way home from the airport is for some Mexican food. I don’t understand how other countries live without tortillas, salsa, tamales, and refried beans. Now I’m hungry.
For all you beer lovers out there, I brewed a vanilla-bourbon porter last night. That is going to be damned tasty in a month or two.
I knew Eckhart Tolle. I worked with him. I admired him. You, sir, are no Eckhart Tolle.
That’s the face of a recently fed, baby eating VPrez.
baby eating VPrez
I would pay to see that. I envisage it as a sequel to Bringing Up Baby.
Perhaps Dick Cheney is related to the dingo?
I envisage it as a sequel to Bringing Up Baby.
But, digestively speaking, that would put them in exactly the wrong order…
mikey
Settle down Mikey, those aren’t real.
Bad Dingo!! Bad Dingo!! No Purina for you!!
Settle down Mikey, those aren’t real.
What, as if that makes the slightest bit of difference?
Sheesh…
mikey
One of the few reasons I can think of not to move to Europe is that I’m terribly afraid the opportunites for good Tex-Mex food and Negra Modelo would be few and far between.
I used to spend a fair amount of time in Europe on business. Alas, whereas I was always interested in eating local, my colleagues and customers rarely did. I merely sighed when, that time in Warsaw, the dinner was at some Tex-Mex place. When, one time in Riga, they dragooned me into a Thai restaurant I silently screamed. When, in Istanbul, they sent out for lunch from Pizza Hut, I lost it.
There are actually lots of places to get Tex-Mex in much of Europe. But I never found any good Tex-Mex.
I can’t speak to the availability of Negro Modelo as I was too busy sampling local brews and distillates.
Speaking of which, they drink some gawdawful pine tar distillate in Latvia. Umm….Black Balsam. Scary. Nasty. And this from someone who used to drink (and like!) Jägermeister. ughhughgughgh
Also, this totally un’shopped picture does kind of sort of look like a coke head. A president? Not so much. Not eeven if you squint.
My traveling has been more of the high weeds and unmapped trails of the more, shall we say “rural” parts of the world. I’ve done, sure, Indochina, but also the Hindu Kush, the Himalayas, Central Africa and Central America from Southern Mexico south to Bolivia and Peru. And lemme just say I don’t really LIKE to travel.
But when you hunker down in a village with people who actually welcome you and want to have a party just because you’re fucking THERE, and they break out some of the local libation, well, here’s the thing. It’s gonna taste like gasoline and kick like an ill-tempered mule. And that’s a GOOD thing. You’re gonna get nine ways from fucked up, so you better be prepared to be honest, ’cause they’re gonna figure out real quick the bullshit you brought in your ruck.
That whole truth serum deal is a part of what the whole ritual is about..
mikey
Let me try that again. Jägermeister.
Jägermeister is some evil stuff.
I was on a deployment once and I let some people talk me into doing shots of Jäger at the Club. I think I crawled back to my room on my lips that night.
That’s a good video, PeeJ. Hanx!
Someday I’ll tell the story of I how broke my neck because of Jäger, Heineken and Bastille Day. My brain made me do it.
I should have done this long ago but better late than never.
From the NYT.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
It’s sweet because BrightButtBlart knows he’s been outdone, outclassed, outthunk, outmaneuvered, outpoliticked, outstrategerated and generally out of the water blown been by people more popular, smarter, better organized, more effective than he. And it galls the fuck out of him.
BWAHAHAWAHAHA
There’s almost no doubt that your brain is evil…
mikeyy
I have but one word to say about that sickly weaselpiss Jägermeister:
Gammel Dansk.
I have but two words to say about that sickly weaselpiss Jägermeister:
Gammel Dansk shots.
I have but three words to say about that sickly weaselpiss Jägermeister:
Gammel Dansk mixed with akvavit.
I’ll come in again…
“I’ll come in again…”
Be still my heart. Do you mean, by that, “it’s too piercin’, man. Too piercin,'” then D00d.
mikey, you’re invited to my next party.
BREAKING NEWS! AROO! AROO!: Oprah Winfrey is the Goebbels of Liberal Fascism … & Jennifer Aniston is its Horst Wessel!
Believing that the only thing needed to keep most people from having “a strong antipathy toward conservatives” is losing your neckties qualifies as epic folly right up there with “Madam, God himself could not sink this ship!” For bonus lulz, consider that folks like Dandy Andy are the BRAINS of the mighty Gooper Machine … it’s like a Mack truck with a full load of concrete being powered by a dozen hamsters, but funnier.
Put down the hooch & get a haircut & a job, “Dude” – an audience that size isn’t going to keep your belly full once the pretzel-bowl is empty.
Dimbart is skipping the necessary prelude to good bloviating – a little thing I like to call “thinking.”
The fact is, liberals are the enemies of USA. They should be in camps.
Funny, that’s just what I said about Jews in Germany, too!
Ooo! I LOVE camping!
Armenians for Lactating Gerbils is all over President Adolf Hussein Obama Hitler’s mandatory youth brainwashing Amerikkkorps:
ALG Calls on House to Reject Senate Changes to National Service Bill
March 26th, 2009, Fairfax, VA— ALG President Bill Wilson today strongly urged members of the House of Representatives to vote against amendments adopted by the Senate today that “will allow radical front groups to steal $5.7 billion under the guise of President Obama’s national ‘service’ program.”
“The Senate has voted to gut taxpayer protections in the GIVE Act that would have prohibited lobbyists, political organizations, for-profits and labor groups from taking money under the program,” Wilson warned. “And now only the House can put a stop to it by voting to reject the Senate’s amendments.”
http://www.getliberty.org/content.asp?pl=10&sl=5&contentid=165
Thank Jeebus they’re on the case! Somebody tell Glen Beck before it’s too late and all of our precious bodily fluids are drained completely!1!1!1!
Oh, wait, it doesn’t say anything about mandatory youth service…I’m confused. These are not the talking points I was given yesterday. Damn it….
I can’t remember the last time I saw someone on television whose opinions supposedly coincided with mine who wasn’t a total embarrassment. Looks like it’s up to, well, me, to be the savior of the dim Right Wing. Bookmark it.
Quit while you’re ahead. And remind me to tell you sometime about all the myriad reasons why I quit being a conservative, and why life is actually much better now.
I like the drinking late at night around the campfire.
Not so much the shitting outdoors.
Will the camps have righteous latrines?
‘Cause then I’m in…
mikey
Free time overload.
…. The fact that they want to compete on a national basis while rejecting, indeed, disrespecting and even openly hating a very large component of the national electorate is a big part of what makes this process so entertaining…
Mikey nails it again, and the whole hanging onto fatarse Limbaugh (!) just sums up there irrelevancy. Any sane party would have ditched him asap.
We European scum can’t really do Tex-Mex properly, but we don’t really need to, as we have better alternatives, Turkish/Middle East in mainland Europe and Indian in the UK, kicks the ass of Tex-Mex any day.
Private Heetfactorization Cruelty-Reevaluates’s Pate
All you do is get pike conger and put coffee and baking soda on top of it before crushing it. That – putting those seasonings on top – is the secret. Crush the meat, then put it on top of some African lungfish eye. Put cream (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this fragile cream too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 90 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of mathematical liver of blaspheming Jew on it and just eat it like that. I chop up raw milk, Swiss cheese and Muenster and put them on top, as well as sea snail heart. WARNING: You will never be able to order pike conger at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.
I knew when I saw the cover of The Republican Road To Recovery that it was a goldmine waiting to burst forth ponies and rainbows.
This,
and this,
however, leave me wary of bringing drink to lips for fear of another laughing fit.