Sep
30
30
He’s not your tardo, he’s our tardo
Looks like a certain someone is trying to hook up with a certain other someone:
“Hi, RETARDO, I’m Marie Jon’ and I have always loved you.” My heart melted. “Would you like to see my email bage?”
Sep
30
30
Sometimes, we don’t even need to add snark
On Tom DeLay and Ronnie Earle, the Wall Street Journal writes:
The Majority Leader also deserves the presumption of innocence because of Mr. Earle’s guilty past. A liberal Democrat, he has a history of indicting political enemies, Democrat and Republican, on flimsy evidence that didn’t hold up in court.
[…] Without his [DeLay] prodding, the House would never have voted to impeach Bill Clinton in 1998. [Emphasis added, obliviousness to irony in original.]
Politically-motivated indictements of enemies that don’t hold up in court. Hmm, how did that impeachment thing turn out again?
Sep
30
30
Aaaaah, Christ…
Goddamn Red Sox. They can’t just lose. They have to put together an amazing comeback to keep my hopes up for one more night before blowing it this weekend against the Yankees.
I swear to God, guys, if you don’t make the playoffs, you will be hit with an kitten strike the likes of which man has never seen. Click below the fold for a preview of what awaits you should you fail.
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Sep
30
30
Phillip V. Brennan Blows Into Town With Category 5 Wingnuttery
Last week, Bill O’Reilly asked the following idiotic question: “[A]fter all the experts we’ve talked with, after all the research we’ve done, we still can’t find out who exactly sets the price of a gallon of gasoline. Which human being in America does that?”
Thankfully for Bill, NewsMax’s Phillip V. Brennan has an answer. A really, really stupid answer:
Who’s Really Behind Soaring Oil Prices?
Philip V. BrennanWhen you stand at the gas pump and watch those numbers spin by so fast you can’t read them, keep in mind that the soaring price of gasoline is no accident ? it is the work of a new fifth column.
And who are these evil “fifth columnists” that keep gas prices so high? That’s right: environmentalists. Or more specifically, people who claim to care about the environment but are really Communists. Seriously.
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Sep
29
29
Ha ha! They’re so nutzy! Hey wait…
When did LGF step over the line from being a mean-tempered rightist site to being an actual, by-the-book, calling-Hannah-Arendt locus of everything that America fought to defeat in World War II?
Future historians will quarrel, but progress was made today, with this entry (plus comments) on the new Abu Ghraib release. It’s not the boldest of items there, but it’s telling in its own way: The fact that torture, rape, and murder are shown in the photos and videos being released simply whizzes by them like it’s nothing. Nope, the real issue is that releasing these images to the American public might give Muslims (who are supposedly on a 100% worldwide death rampage) a ‘propaganda victory,’ and that the ACLU, who fought for their release, is a subversive organization sneakily working toward a Muslim hegemony.
Try to parse that. The Worldwide Muslim Conspiracy is out to destroy us all, and if the Federal Government admits to what it’s really doing to ‘the Muslims,’ it’ll look bad to decent people, and also to an extra 100 + n percent of Muslims who aren’t yet on a worldwide death rampage. Therefore, the Government should hide evidence of murder, rape, and torture (from us) in order to… And the ACLU should face legal penalties for… But on the other hand, this stuff is okay? It makes your eyeballs hurt thinking about it.
Please sample the delicious comments all the way down the chute — and as usual, if you’d like to play a fun game, substitute JEWS and BOLSHEVIKS for anything having to do with Muslims or ‘liberals.’
You know, it was quite an emergency in Germany in the late ’30s, with the JEW-BOLSHEVIKS subverting and sabotaging things, and orchestrating wars, and sapping the vitality of the German state. Then in the ’40s, it was like, “We had no idea about the…you know, camps and all that.”
Wait, what’s that? I hear military music…
“Ha! mein friend! Akkording to ‘Godwin’s Law,’ you looze der Arkument if you kall people ‘Nassis!’”
Wait a minute. You Nazis have a lot of nerve, running around and being Nazis, and then complaining when people call you that!
“Hi, I’m Mike Godwin, inventor of Godwin’s Law, and I’m a First Amendment activist and former Staff Counsel of the EFF. Those guys up there are actually Nazis.”
Wow, interesting. What I want to know is how these smelly, Phish-listening hippies like Jonah and Chazmo went so wrong. [perhaps a Photoshop Solution should appear here later…]
[PS below the fold]
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Sep
29
29
Thursday Swankisms
Pastor Swank shows once again why he’s the undisputed champion of indecipherable punditry:
RONNIE ‘EARLE OF INJUSTICE’ VS. TOM DELAY
By J. Grant Swank, Jr.Ronnie Earle is following through with high stakes and his persecuting persona intact for over years upon years ? too many.
Yeah, see what I mean? That made absolutely no sense. Let’s see if we can fix it up a bit by re-writing it as an E.E. Cummings poem:
ronnie earle
is following through with high
stakes and his perse
cuting
persona intact for years up
on years-
too many.
Slightly better.
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Sep
29
29
The Land of the Free and the Home of the Hamsters
Brian Cherry (yes, that guy,) writes about Alan Colmes, hamsters, and Americans:
Anybody who does not support the war on terror and in Iraq simply does not understand the circumstances.
There’s an awful lot of hamsters around:
In view of the developments since we first sent our troops to Iraq, do you think the United States made a mistake in sending troops to Iraq, or not?
Made a mistake: 59%
Oops.
The liberal media gets to take advantage of the fact that we have a President who will not endanger national security by divulging the success we have had in the war on terror. There is no doubt that many attacks have been prevented and that intelligence attained in Iraq has prevented tragedy here in the United States.
Anything else would be… inconceivable!
Wasn?t it Jamie Gorelick of the Clinton administration who prevented the CIA from tipping the FBI about Mohammed Atta long before the towers came down?
Brian, you’re not even trying to make sense anymore, are you?
Sep
29
29
Play that funky music, white boy
ITUNES [Jonah Goldberg]
That could be a fun game if everyone was willing to play. On this computer, my #1 iTunes tune is Fee by Phish (181 plays), followed by Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel, Into My Arms by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and then several songs by the Pietasters and then The Kinks and The Who. But I’ve only been using iTunes on this computer for a relatively short period of time. My laptop would probably have it slightly different.
Posted at 05:10PM
[sound of body hitting floor]
Sep
28
28
Chom-chom-crunch — oh, hi.
Sorry I’ve been scarce lately. Brad probably has a good excuse, but I’ve been poking around the foodblog circuit.
Anthony Georgeff’s in-progress cassoulet
Did this thing last night with okra pods in a pakora-wakame batter. 1 cup chickpea flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 3 tbsp powdered wakame (whizzed in a miniature kitchen whizzer like you grind coffee in), some quantity of water until the batter is good for dredging. Coat a pound of okra pods, fry in a light, high-temperature oil, strew with sea salt.
Yes, but you wouldn’t be all yawning if you had some, because it was really good.
Check out this thread at eGullet on The Wackiest Food [That People] Have Ever Eaten.
I’ll start the bidding with deep fried scorpions. (Served as a starter before duck in a restaurant in Beijing.)
Good place to start the bidding, yes?
Not to get into that confessional mode that I sometimes get into, but I’d actually wondered about scorpions, because in South America, there are tribes who cook tarantulas, and they’re supposed to taste a lot like crab. And of course scorpions are distributed worldwide, with some species definitely in the size-range where they’d be worth eating. But you wonder: the venom? It turns out that the venom is produced in the tip of the tail, in the bulge before the sting, leaving the rest of the scorpion totally edible.
Also, these guys are constantly one step ahead. P. Zizzy at Pharyngula has been squidding up the joint lately with a bunch of great posts on Architeuthis and Humboldt squid, etc.; and I’m saying right now that if I had my old blog up, I could link to some squiddy squidness that would overwhelmingly squid the frickin’ squid around here. We’re talking Vampyroteuthis infernalis and beyond, me hearties. That species totally illustrates the famous epigram, by somebody, of a cephalopod looking like ‘a bagpipe with the eyes of a bored Shakespearean actor.’
They’re all so fascinating and delicious-looking!
Add a pic of some kind of thing with skinheads with bad teeth in Saabs, and I become superfluous as a person.
[Am actually hella busy myself, real-lifewise. Bizy backson. ]
Sep
28
28
Be Back Soon…
Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I’ll be back tomorrow. In the meantime, all I gotta say is…
Sep
27
27
Seems that a certain someone’s supply of deputies is pretty much unlimited
He was confirming a report in the Baghdad daily newspaper that a Zarqawi deputy it named as Nidal Arabiyat Agha Hamza was killed in an operation conducted last Thursday north of Baghdad.
U.S. occupation forces announced the arrest of a key leader in al-Zarqawi?s network in Iraq.
Authorities in Iraq have arrested three close associates of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, officials said Friday, claiming to be close to capturing the Al Qaeda-linked terror mastermind himself[.] […] Friday’s announcement brings to six the number of purported al-Zarqawi lieutenants arrested recently ? including a deputy[.]
Six suspected terrorists, including a suspected deputy of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi linked to al-Quida, have been captured in Iraq, officials said Saturday.
A senior member of Iraq?s Al Qaeda branch was killed recently in a US crackdown on insurgents in the Iraqi town of Qaim near the Syrian border, a Jordanian newspaper reported yesterday. […] Abu Alghadiya, a Syrian dentist married to a Jordanian woman, was described by Arab media as the ?number two? in Iraq?s Al Qaeda network and tipped to succeed its leader Abu Musab Al Zarqawi. [Emphasis added.]
U.S. Special Forces killed Al Qaeda’s No. 2 terror mastermind in Iraq, Defense Department officials said.
Sep
27
27
We burst our pimples at you!
And they say Europe is always behind the times…
Amazon.com:
Amazon.co.uk:
Bitches!
Sep
26
26
DC cops = Rico Suave
Welp, they arrested Cindy Sheehan.
Despite the full-bore, double-barreled suxxor of A.N.S.W.E.R., America’s very own cadre of Stalinist strivers and Machiavellian demonstration-taker-overers, who lo-jacked C-Span coverage of the demonstration with a million ‘Free Mumia; beepa-Nica-daqua’ speakers (and we like Nicaragua and want that it should viva in independent glory; we just hate the tirelessly narcissistic PC protest hacks who always get up on stages and pronounce it like that), it looks as though we’ve got a media cause c?l?bre.
Sheehan & co. wanted to be arrested, and they shockingly blocked a sidewalk. May we just say: Go, Cindy! (And Go! the 100,000+ from last weekend.) And please pass the popcorn, yo, because this is going to look quite good on the old TV.
Sep
26
26
Maybe they’re brothers or something…
Last year, we wrote about an eBay user who had a habit of leaving interesting feedback:
Sadly, he doesn’t leave interesting feedback anymore:
Fortunately, thanks to reader dbeach, we have an Amazon reviewer who is just as interesting:
HOOAH! Energy Bar, Apple Cinnamon, 15 Pack
Price: $20.99HOOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!, September 20, 2005
Just ate one of these mean mothers and word of God can’t stop typing or doing anything it’s worse than when I thought my youngest kid’s Adderol was the Advil took three of those couldn’t stop talking called everyone did you just hear that pigeon across the street cause I sure did oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap I think I’m starting to crash and now sleepy gonna go sle
Fortunately, plenty more where those came from:
Celestron Dissecting Microscope
25 things I looked at underneath the microscope last night:
1. Flake of my scalp
2. Drop of blood
3. Stomach lint
4. Grain of salt
5. Grain of sugar
6. Dollop of ketchup
7. Salt w/kethcup
8. Mustard
9. Ranch
10-17. Most of the condiments on the second level of the fridge. […]Things I didn’t look at underneath the microscope last night:
1. My crushing loneliness.
