He’s not your tardo, he’s our tardo

Looks like a certain someone is trying to hook up with a certain other someone:

“Hi, RETARDO, I’m Marie Jon’ and I have always loved you.” My heart melted. “Would you like to see my email bage?”

 

Comments: 25

 
 
 

Whores! Dirty Whores, all of them!
Retardo, my man- Marie doesn’t roll like that- you’ve got to do the rhetorical equivilent of pushing her on the playground, not be nice. She’ll think you’re gay if your nice*…

*-Actual advice given to me by an uncle at age 12.

 
 

He’s just a rebound from a difficult breakup after a long relationship with Retardo nemesis David Nieporent. Don’t fall for it, Retardo! She’s just doing it to get back at Nieporent!!

 
 

What is an e-mail “bage?”

 
 

op, it’s either a bag or a page, only the wise man on the mountain can tell. MJ has some probs with spelleroni.

RETARDO=really funny, but I will point out that I mentioned in the super long thread how fan fiction of this sort could be seen as a type of assault.*

*unless it is Kaye Grogan and Jonah Golberg portrayed by a Garfield Pez dispenser and Cmdr. William Riker and and Elmer’s glue stick.

 
 

Why would Retardo get with Marie if her bage isn’t suppurating?

 
 

The Apostralypse is upon us.

 
 

What is an e-mail “bage?”

You can usually find them around bogs.

 
 

She replied ..uh, nicely in comments. But that jerk from Malkinwatch is trying to steal her away! As if he has time for a “Mariewatch” too!

 
 

Dude, don’t hate the player, hate the insanity.

I had a nice thing going with Marie by e-mail. But one tiny little dig at Bush, and she flipped out. Called me “dissentious” and blocked my e-mail.

Marie, if you’re reading this, I’m still heartbroken.

 
 

It’s all good.

By the way, everybody, I’m now known as Redardo.

 
 

The truth, Redardo, is that she never talked to me like this:

“I came so ye could have life and have it more abundantly.”

Man, that’s all kinds of filthy.

 
 

Auguste,

Well, you got much farther along than I did, and I was trying to be a “good conservative” too. I only was two emails in before she started calling me all sorts of names, and me my email public on PP.O…..

 
 

This question was settled long ago in the very long thread…..and I was the winner. Sorry guys it sucks to be you.

ACTION ALERT – Vote in the NEW PEPO poll – “Should Barbara Streisand keep her big month shut?”

 
 

Even with proper spelling, that’s not a weighted question or anything, really…

 
 

No one spells la Streisand’s name right the first time. But maybe Marie is having the mouthlys?

 
 

“Should Barbara Streisand keep her big month shut?”

A Freudian slip referencing her belief that since Barbra is well past child-bearing age, she is an extraneous human being (“month” being her subconscious’s code for menstruation)?

 
 

no, the key to the glossolalia of MJ’s unconscious mind is to be found in the missing ‘L’ in StreisLand – combine ‘sand’ with ‘mouth’ and you realise that beneath all this flirtatiousness Marie is really thinking about Dune and hence the oil business – I should think she wants an oil tanker named after her, like Condoleezza: see this short flash animation

 
 

“teh” doesn’t understand the exigencies of desert power…So he may be forgiven. But just this once.

 
 

Sorry, boys – it would appear that Marie Jon’ has already found her soulmate. Someone who speaks her language, so to speak, as shown by this trainwreck of a sentence:

Contrast that with the negligence and it’s long lasting effects created by local corrupt government leaders with the president who put out his hand and is doing all that he possibly can to give comfort and real aid to those who have lost everything , even lives.

You poor fools don’t stand a chance. You’re just too damn literate.

 
 

because that is the American way. God bless them all, and God bless all y’all.
Don’t tell my heart… My achy breaky heart
I Just don’t think he’d understand…

 
 

Marie’s buddy is too stupid to realise that this is a spoof (you may not either until you reach the pay off line at the end):”I really started believing in what we call The Rise of the American COMINTERN (TRAC), the vestige of Stalin’s International Communism that now promises world peace under a world communist state run by the Party from UN headquarters in New York City … The plan is to destroy the capitalist system by bankrupting the government of the United States of America through enormous deficits. The United States, as you know, when it is running a budget deficit, runs on loans floated by Japan, Saudi Arabia, and communist China. But if our operatives in international banking were to call in those loans, the U.S. would be forced to default, and the American economy would collapse. Once the American economy collapses, the world economy collapses — and goodbye, capitalism. Enter the TRAC, the American branch of Stalin’s International Communism (and, now that the USSR has fallen, the center of the USAR, the Union of Soviet-American Republics). The TRAC has been hoarding gold, and silver for nearly sixty years (and, with the help of friends at the UN, has also been secretly stockpiling billions of barrels of oil from the Oil-For-Food program), and will be able to quickly institute a new central government. But here’s the really bad part. Because the OTHER thing standing between the TRAC and total global hegemony is Christianity, TRAC’s other major goal is to destroy Christianity. The plan for this is pretty insidious: The idea is to turn people against Christianity by using Christianity as a defense for all sorts of other policies that most people find appalling. By the TRAC’s reckoning, when TRAC takes over the US government, and is in the process of running the economy into the ground, it will also use “Christian values” as a defense for voter fraud, racial and sexual discrimination, environmental pollution, the torture of political prisoners, curtailment of civil liberties and press freedom, dissemination of propaganda and disinformation, and ungrounded military assaults on other sovereign nations that kill tens of thousands of innocent civilians. When all this is done in the name of Christianity, the very word “Christian” would become a curse — and the people of the USAR would be quick to abandon Christianity — the problem is that I am afraid the plan is already set in motion — and I secretly think that George W. Bush is such a good man that he is blindly carrying out the will of the TRAC, thinking all the while that he is doing God’s work…“http://www.crunk-publishing.com/richard.htm

 
 

I liked the line I soon met a young woman who was training to indoctrinate middle-school students, and we took up together — sinfully, of course. She teaches Stalinist doctrine to her eighth graders under the guise of “math” and “social studies” and “reading” too. Tee hee hee!

 
 

That is utterly brilliant (and that first part is actually a comparativly plausable conspiricy theory- at least compared ones involving the New World Order and/or Aliens).

 
 

wow, did you see what she said when she came back to kiss me good night?

what happened to playing hard to get?

 
 

you mean this?

“Good night my Retardo,
Please think about you and me forever. We could have the real good life forever. Please go to my Website and read what I wrote It is found in the article called. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Now that is the Good News. There You and I never grow old. We will have much to see and do . Love is forever just like the song.
Agapa love,
Your Biscotti,
Marie WINK!
Nothing can separate us from the love of God,
Not Even Katrina!
by Marie Jon’
Click Here”

 
 

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