The Anchoress Makes Veiled P*n*s Reference*

Shorter Sister Elizabeth Mary Magdalene Immaculata Scalia, O.C., The Anchoress
Global Recession & Low Birthrate

  • Rubbers, not bankers, caused the financial crisis.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*For more penis, go read Flaccid Hollywood’s John Nolte who apparently thinks that teabagging and cocksucking are the same thing — no, John, the cock and the balls are different things — and who says he is sorry that Roger Ebert’s treatment for thyroid cancer, which left Ebert unable to speak, didn’t also leave him unable to type.

 

Oh hey, effective messaging!

Alan Grayson shows us how Democrats could be kicking ass if they weren’t a-skeered of having their Wall Street campaign cash dry up:

I also think Grayson is correct to frame this issue outside of the typical “left-right” spectrum our media uses. This is instead about our economic survival.

 

Sadly, Starbursts!

Guess who’s been reading Sadly, No?

Glenn Greenwald’s Spleen [Rich Lowry]

Glenn Greenwald is outraged that I dared criticize in a bloggingheads discussion Markos Moulitsas’s forthcoming book “American Taliban,” which apparently will “argue” that conservatives share the same agenda as Islamic radicals — you know establishing an Islamic caliphate, destroying Israel, beheading infidels, veiling women, all that stuff…

Time prevents me from replying to everything in Greenwald’s extravagantly updated post, which if you follow the links, attacks my entire oeuvre (such as it is), my upbringing, my high-school friends (who, granted, probably deserve attack), and on and on…

Oh hai Rich! Tis true I attacked your “entire oeuvre,” but that’s only cuz the Obama Administration, David Talbot, and George Soros showered me with gifts to do so. The best thing is, I still qualify for food stamps! Does that make u sadz? Wah, wah, wah!

However, I must object to your pity-soliciting characterization of my post: I didn’t attack your “upbringing” as such, and I certainly didn’t attack your high school friends. As per your suggestive parenthetical, I attacked your attitude to your high school and college friends; looking for a reason why someone who looks, speaks, and acts as you do pretends to be such a macho, manly-man, I came across some of your references to your formative years, warmed my hands to the sizzling resentment and bitterness in them, and made the obvious conclusions. Yay, me! I did notice, though, that you didn’t refute any of my points about .. well, anything. Time prevents you from doing so, you say; it, too, must be a Liberal Fascist member of the Party of Death.


Brad adds: Oh mercy, is this a blast from the past:

The Social Security debate is headed toward a monumental political irony: It might well be that Republicans offer creative ideas to make the system more “progressive” — i.e., more favorable to people lower down on the income scale — and Democrats resolutely refuse to adopt them. What happened to the Democrats we used to know, who made progressivity the highest test of any public policy and leapt at any opportunity to “soak the rich”?

Social security privatization — it’s the new estate tax!

 

Pfft. Like You Could Fit.

Sayeth the Pantload:

I’m on the hook to be on Fox today around 1:30. They’re sending a car. I’m dubious. If things get bad, I might just have to cut open the driver like [a – sic] tauntaun and get inside.

Attention Hothington, D.C., pedestrians, homeless, et al., braving the blizzard. Beware a pudgy doofus carrying a toy lightsaber and wearing a taxi-driver’s skin stretched partially over his parka like an exploded sausage casing. He may try to use his Force on you, which you do not want to smell; just step out of his way, and let him go battle Liberperial Fascist Stormtroopers and save Princess K-Lo Virgana or whatever nerdlusion is central to his point this week.

 

Follow up

Commenter D. Johnston hits the mark right here:

And just so I can say that I contributed positively to the debate: What we’re seeing now is pretty definitive proof that an economy built on consumerism can’t last. It’s a castle built on sand, to use a Biblical metaphor. Problem is, the American system is very good at generating money but not as good at generating wealth. That’s problematic, but because wealth isn’t a concern of most people (including the Wall Street Masters of the Universe), the problem goes unnoticed.

No one – Obama included – is really trying to fix this, which means that this sort of mess will happen again and again until the system can’t take anymore. Some would suggest that this is a problem which can’t be fixed through government, but that’s really a rash comment to make when no one has actually tried fixing it through government. After all, there’s nothing particularly revolutionary about the notion that a country should have an exportable product.

Well, yes.

And this goes back to why Obama’s pro-bankster bonus remark made me blow my damn gasket.

Let me break it down with bullet points:

  • The banks right now are basically time bombs. They just had the government bail their asses out after they wrecked the economy.
  • Absent breaking up the banks and implementing a modern-day Glass-Steagall, the banks will be emboldened to take even more stupid risks now that they know the government has their backs.
  • But the next time they screw up — say, by inflating the Great POG Bubble of 2011 — the U.S. government might not have the money nor the political will to bail them out again. Hence, Great Depression II.

And as Johnston says, I’ve seen no indication — other than that one somewhat promising press conference with Paul Volcker all those weeks ago (and yes, I know the irony here is that we have to look to Ronald Reagan’s damn former Fed chairman for even halfway sensible finance policies) — that he really is going to fight hard for this. This is not me being a PUMA, dudes. This is me saying our country will simply not survive if we can’t get the banks under control.

 

All I Really Need To Know, I Learned In Schlüsselgarten

betsy_schlussel
ABOVE: Debbie Schlussel, White American Patriot.

Posts by Frau Schlüssel are always extremely educational, but I found this one to be particularly so. Here’s what I learned:

  • Muslims should never be hired as bus drivers because they all will stop the bus and prostrate themselves in the middle of the bus to pray to their false god.
  • A Muslim stopping a bus to pray is exactly the same in each and every respect as a pedophile bus driver stopping the bus to rape a child.
  • All British men are fags.
  • America’s special relationship with Britain does not extend to admiring its fish and chips, which are much worse than the fish and chips that you can find here in America.
 

High Times


Above: Makin’ brownies, gonna talk about education…

Shorter Tom Friedman
The New York Times
“It’s All About Schools ‘”

  • I went to Yemen and totally chewed some really good shit with some dudes who were all like, “We need better schools and stuff.” And I was like, “Fuckin-a, man; children are totally our future. Or your future, which is, like, also our future.. woah, hey, that’s deep, dude.” So, yeah, here’s my column about it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

…And I’ll Waive My Consulting Fees If You Give Me Carnage To Fap To


Above: “Crack” Pipes, left; crackpot at right

Shorter Daniel Pipes
“Sarah Palin Endorses ‘Bomb Iran'”

  • My suggestion that Barack Obama bomb Iran to save his Presidency is so rational, so utterly reasonable and serious, that already one major politician has demonstrated her sober genius by endorsing it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Bring on President Moose Eater!

Oh. My. God:

President Barack Obama said he doesn’t “begrudge” the $17 million bonus awarded to JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon or the $9 million issued to Goldman Sachs Group Inc. CEO Lloyd Blankfein, noting that some athletes take home more pay.

Jesus H. Christ. This is something I’d expect Bush to say. And yes, I mean that as the worst possible insult.

Hey Obama: THE TAX PAYERS DIDN’T SPEND HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO BAIL OUT ALEX RODRIGUEZ. This is an important distinction that bears repeating.

The president, speaking in an interview, said in response to a question that while $17 million is “an extraordinary amount of money” for Main Street, “there are some baseball players who are making more than that and don’t get to the World Series either, so I’m shocked by that as well.”

“I know both those guys; they are very savvy businessmen,” Obama said in the interview yesterday in the Oval Office with Bloomberg BusinessWeek, which will appear on newsstands Friday. “I, like most of the American people, don’t begrudge people success or wealth. That is part of the free- market system.”

If by “free market” you mean “they wrecked the economy, we bailed them out and now they’re back to doing the same old shit.”

Man, fuck it. I’m now officially on the Palin 2012 bandwagon. Because if this country’s going to crash, I want it to crash hard and fast so we can just start over.

 

Also, Jacob Weisberg Is An Idiot Villager Who Poops In His Pants

Brad quotes Jacob Weisberg blaming the American public for the nation’s ills:

[O]pinion polls over the last year reflect… a country that simultaneously demands and rejects action on unemployment, deficits, health care, climate change, and a whole host of other major problems. Sixty percent of Americans want stricter regulations of financial institutions. But nearly the same proportion says we’re suffering from too much regulation on business. That kind of illogic—or, if you prefer, susceptibility to rhetorical manipulation—is what locks the status quo in place.

It’s funny when a Villager pretends to dislike the status quo. But let’s take Weisberg at his word. He’s frustrated; what should he do about it to make the situation better? Answer: go Galt, and take all the other Villagers with him. Yes, the public is “suscepti[ble] to rhetorical manipulation;” duh. The public wants stuff that works, which is brought about by leftwing solutions that are often lately promised them by politicians yet are constantly undercut in the media by wingnuts on the one hand and Sensible Liberals like Weisberg on the other, when not totally sabotaged by the politicians themselves. Hence, the public’s apparent schizophrenia.

It’s hard to be more Villager than Weisberg; he was offered Skull and Bones membership, spent many years at The New Republic, and was, until recently, editor of the many “contrarian” douchebags at Slate. The TNR connection is the most salient. Consider the following blurb in which Weisberg praises David Frum (yes, that David Frum):

Jacob Weisberg, editor in chief of the Slate Group and a longtime observer of and participant in the political magazine sphere, said, “I think Frum is the most interesting writer they have. You can’t assume he’ll come down on the side of the party line.”

“I think the problem of conservative magazines is they often follow the party line more than liberal magazines,” he said.

Bear that “party line” thing in mind while considering what Weisberg saw fit to write about Israel’s invasion of Lebannon and Robert Farley’s criticism thereof:

We do know enough, however, to divide responsibility for the current war among these players: Hezbollah, Hamas, Iran, Syria, and Lebanon. This has not stopped many analysts in Europe and the United States from laying blame for the violence squarely at a less obvious doorstep—that of the Bush administration.

[I]t’s interesting to see what Weisberg thinks an important contribution really is… To be sure, Weisberg can write anything he wants… But this is part of a pattern with Weisberg; regardless of the issue, he seems to find a way to attack liberals, rather than bother with conservatives who are making egregious and unsupportable claims.

Weisberg is a graduate of The New Republic school of journalism, which is all about attacking liberals. Therefore, Weisberg’s praise of Frum should actually be seen as self-serving. However, Farley is also imprecise in his criticism: there is nothing wrong with not “follow[ing] the party line” and there is nothing wrong with attacking liberals per se, with whatever frequency.

“You’re using a rightwing talking point/frame/trope” is a common call-out phrase among the netroots. But a political point is not necessarily bad or truly rightwing even if it is first communicated by a wingnut (the question of whether the speaker has a right to say it is something else altogether); just because a wingnut says something doesn’t automatically make it false or evil. What’s crucial, for a liberal, is the direction from which it comes; Weisberg, like pretty much all Villagers who claim to be or are advertised as liberal, always attacks from the right or sides with the right. That’s the TNR way, and pretty much everyone who’s worked at that dump — wherever they end up — will uphold the tradition.

Considering the above, it naturally follows, then, that Weisberg:

Weisberg truly blows, but then that’s the nature of his species. The depressing irony of so many TNR graduates, and their clones, loosed on the landscape is that their “contrary” take on the alleged conventional liberal wisdom of the day actually becomes the conventional “liberal” wisdom of the day. Who will offer a “contrarian” take on Weisberg’s Sensible Liberalism? The glibertarian/Randroids had a hard time with that question, finally forcing themselves to believe that he didn’t really mean:

“Liberals lost the support of the nation not because of their ideals,” argues Weisberg, “but as a result of the flawed way they put them into practice.” To regain the public’s trust, he says, today’s Progressives have to advocate a pragmatic, limited government, guided by what he refers to as “five habits of highly effective liberals”: Accept risk, and steer away from policy prescriptions that treat adults as children, or as helpless victims of their environment. Stop overpromising and offer programs that try to alleviate social ills rather than “solving” them. Sunset federal programs frequently, because a “set expiration date fosters a mission mentality [on an agency] rather than a bureaucratic one.” Stop pushing massive new laws that leave most of the regulatory decision-making in the hands of executive branch bureaucrats. And place a limit–as a percentage of national income–on the ability of federal, state, and local governments to tax and spend.

That was 1996. In the years since, thanks to Sensible Liberals like Weisberg, the Overton Window’s moved even farther right. Now it’s 2010, and he can be found at about where one would expect: Yes, he — like his Villager colleagues — is an Obamaton, and will continue to be until the President does something decently radical, which is highly unlikely even though the hopeyness that he would do so was the source of his massive political capital. Now that capital’s worth about as much as AIG stock, but such is the predictable result when you behave in a way of which Jacob Weisberg approves.

Update: I regret that I did not see Doghouse Riley’s excellent take on the insufferable Weisberg until after I posted this.