Pfft. Like You Could Fit.

Sayeth the Pantload:

I’m on the hook to be on Fox today around 1:30. They’re sending a car. I’m dubious. If things get bad, I might just have to cut open the driver like [a – sic] tauntaun and get inside.

Attention Hothington, D.C., pedestrians, homeless, et al., braving the blizzard. Beware a pudgy doofus carrying a toy lightsaber and wearing a taxi-driver’s skin stretched partially over his parka like an exploded sausage casing. He may try to use his Force on you, which you do not want to smell; just step out of his way, and let him go battle Liberperial Fascist Stormtroopers and save Princess K-Lo Virgana or whatever nerdlusion is central to his point this week.

 

Comments: 62

 
 
 

He so too could fit. If the driver is Jabba.

 
 

These assholes really know how to tell a joke.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“a”s are the Jews of liberal fascism.

 
 

Not a taxi driver – they’re “sending a car.” Lucianne’s boy wouldn’t stoop to patronize a common taxicab.

 
 

Funniest Shorter ever!

 
 

Shyeah, right. If he tries to take out a typical driver, taxi or otherwise, I’m guessing there will be a driver wearing a Doughbob skin tonight.

 
 

And I thought these things smelled bad on the outside…of my taxi….

 
 

Here’s the thing…much of America gets pretty severe winter weather (take that, Algore!), but Europe is so woefully unprepared for even mild weather, the result is far worse.

Jonah can start whining when 90% of the sidewalks have been covered in sheets of ice for about a week and counting. Some snow would be really nice right about now. I could walk on that shit without fear of horrible injury.

 
 

“I’m dubious”

Finally, a nugget of truth from the J dawg.

 
 

Don’t it fuck one off when the taxi drivers won’t call one, “Lord Vader”

 
 

For those who happen to be in the mood for some hell-raising liberal questioning and speech-making, a look back to the morning session of the February, 27, 2009 State of The Black Union 2009. So far into my viewing, Maxine Waters (about 52 minutes in) and, yes, Jesse Jackson (about 68 minutes in) have been kicking ass.

They had all moved way beyond the post-election / inauguration afterglow once the ‘PORKULUS’ screams about the stimulus from the Southern reactionary right wing jackass hypocrite brigades had re-focused their attentions.

Jackson starts out by pointing out that many people were urging “bipartisanship”, when what was needed was civility and partisanship — Team A beat Team B, and now must lead and hope to persuade Team B by its policy successes. “George Wallace always stood in the door, but never stood there very long…”

 
 

(for the last thread, way too late but that’s never stopped me from being a pain in the ass)

it can’t be fixed becuz taint nobody kin change it. rich bastards give the impression of being in charge, but that’s an illusion based on the loudness of money while it’s swearing

we haz ulwayz bin fucked, but bein’ hoomanz we’re too stoopit to fall down when we’re dead

 
 

p.s. whatthefuck does he mean by “tauntaun”??

 
 

I can’t think of a car large enough to carry Jonah’s ego.

 
 

Pfft. Like You Could Fit.

Are you referring to the carcass, the car, or the tv studio?

 
 

Wait…whatever happened to his superhero DoughMobile?

 
 

lol I know you guys like to give Jonah a hard time (and you’re really good at it) but you have to admit he’s kind of a likable dork. He reminds me of a guy who used to show up about half the time at my 8 AM poli sci class and always tried to hide the fact he hadn’t done any reading by talking a lot. It’s kind of cute.

 
 

Boy, I’m sick of this shit.

NEWSFLASH: It snows in winter.

 
 

Actually, Esther, Jonah is an inhuman prig and an accessory to mass murder. I would love to see the adipose-and-blood mountain caused by an unfortunate encounter of Jonah with a city bus.

But YMMV

 
 

Attention Hothington, D.C., pedestrians, homeless, et al., braving the blizzard. Beware a pudgy doofus carrying a toy lightsaber and wearing a taxi-driver’s skin stretched partially over his parka like an exploded sausage casing.

Noted.

 
 

p.s. whatthefuck does he mean by “tauntaun”??

It’s a Star Wars reference from about 30 yrs. ago.

Fucking geeks.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

but you have to admit he’s kind of a likable dork.

No. He’s completely unlikable. And I hate how he seems to think that referencing fucking Star Wars all the time gives him nerd cred. Not impressed, Jonah. Not impressed.

 
 

Actually, Esther, Jonah is an inhuman prig and an accessory to mass murder. I would love to see the adipose-and-blood mountain caused by an unfortunate encounter of Jonah with a city bus.

By that logic, well over half the country is an accessory to mass murder by supporting the war when it first started. That includes most of our own party. Flinging accusations like that is not exactly the way to win over hearts and minds.

 
 

It’s a Star Wars reference from about 30 yrs. ago.

I am geeky enough that I thought the complaint may have been about how “tauntaun” was spelled. Yet fortunately not geeky enough to really know how it was spelled.

 
 

We can also note that Tweety Matthews was bitching about THE SNOW!!! on his ‘tard*-fest earlier.

As was Megan McArgle at her ‘tard*-column, as noted here.

*”‘Tard” meant satirically, ’cause Sarah sez that’s OK!

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Flinging accusations like that is not exactly the way to win over hearts and minds.

*yawn*

Didn’t realize people made POOP and PENIS jokes in order to win hearts and minds, but thanks for the tip!

 
 

always tried to hide the fact he hadn’t done any reading by talking a lot

I see why Doughbob reminds you of him, then.

 
 

Hmmm…more likley that someone would use Jonah’s carcass to keep warm.

 
 

No, Esther, actually, over 60% of the country on the eve of the invasion said they were opposed to going into Iraq without UN support/approval. That’s not even half, much less “well over half”.

The accessories to mass murder are the usual suspects: Jonah and his crowd, rabid teabaggers, etc etc etc.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

more likley that someone would use Jonah’s carcass to keep warm.

Sick. I’d rather die than be inside Jonah.

 
 

In Haiti tauntauns open you!

 
 

By that logic, well over half the country is an accessory to mass murder by supporting the war when it first started. That includes most of our own party. Flinging accusations like that is not exactly the way to win over hearts and minds.

Guess what, you fucking horrid person, IN A DEMOCRACY, every single one of you fuckers are as responsible for mass murder (Oh, sorry, don’t mean to offend your precious sensibilities: “war.”) as everyone of the fucking Krauts were for the Holocaust.

Maybe gawd is punishing all you fucks by blowing over your capitalist house of cards because you made a deal w/ Satan. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving nation/collection of deliberately brain-dead jerks.

 
 

By that logic, well over half the country is an accessory to mass murder by supporting the war when it first started.

Half the country has regular Fox News gigs? Half the country has LA Times columns? Do tell, do tell. Jonah is not the accessory that Wolfowitz and Kristol are (since they decided Iraq would be the lynchpin of their new Middle Eastern empire back in the late 90’s), but he used his bully pulpit to good effect.

That includes most of our own party. Flinging accusations like that is not exactly the way to win over hearts and minds.

It is not an accusation, it is an observation, and I could not give a shit less about winning hearts and minds. Nor was I trying to do so. I was merely expressing my personal feelings about Jonah, just as you were. You want to give him a hug, I want to hit him repeatedly with a baseball bat.

 
 

Close tag fail.

 
 

It’s really too bad they haven’t perfected the teleporter so Jonah would never ever have to stand under the horrible open sky ever again.

Then again, a fly might be caught in the teleport pod with Doughpants and end up swapping DNA and that’d be a horrible horrible thing to happen to a poor innocent fly.

 
 

Hmmm…more likley that someone would use Jonah’s carcass to keep warm.

The stench would prohibit it. And induce endless retching. Also.

 
 

Close tag fail.

Jeez calm down and take a deep breath before you post. 🙂

 
 

Put. That. Lightsaber. Down.

 
 

Jeez calm down and take a deep breath before you post. 🙂

Passive-aggressive sack of shit.

 
 

Jonah is just about as likable as argumentum ad pater paperam sustulit cum ligula is valid.

 
 

Call me Polly.

WORDPUKE types: “Your comment was a bit too short. Please go back and try again.”

What the hell? This thing is not eggs-ackley helping terseness & brevity.

 
 

Flinging accusations like that is not exactly the way to win over hearts and minds.

Did someone go and make Esther feel unwelcome? Surely there must have been some mistake!

 
 

I am the worst fucking troll in memory and anyone who responds to me is even stupider than I am.

 
 

And now I have a new addition to the kill file. Oh well, live and learn.

 
 

Aw, look at the cute badgers! They’re dancing!

 
 

Fascism is trying to get beyond politics and also it is trying to make politics out of everything. This is central to my point.

 
 

anyone who responds to me is even stupider than I am.

I guess it depends on your purpose and expectations. Arguing with a rock is pretty pointless, but pointing one out to your friends is ok (although you may bore your friends).

 
 

Les Leopold, author of The Looting of America and creator of one of my fav insight phrases of today’s economy (the “billionaire bailout society”), turns his attentions toward the other side of the equation on whether or not Obama is a new ‘FDR’:

Obama Is No FDR; We’re No Mass Movement

Les Leopold

It’s open season on Obama whom so many hoped would lead us out of the neo-liberal wilderness. He once was a community organizer and ought to know how working people have suffered through a generation of tax breaks for the rich, Wall Street deregulation, and unfair competition. When the economy crashed he was in the perfect position to limit the unjustified pay levels on Wall Street and bring a crashing halt to the runaway financialization of our economy.

Instead we got a multi-trillion dollar bailout for Wall Street, no health care reform, no serious financial reforms whatsoever, record unemployment, and political gridlock that’s will be with us for years to come.

Is it his fault? Or ours?

…[The] [Goldman Sachs CEO] Blankfein and [JP Morgan Chase CEO] Dimon salaries are a diversion from the bigger story: Wall Street has awarded itself a record bonus pool of $150 billion — a pool that would be zero were it not for our bailouts.

They rewarded themselves during the worst financial year since the Great Depression. How did we let that happen?

That’s what FDR would be screaming about, not defending.

But while we’re comparing Obama to FDR, we should also compare ourselves to the kind of activity that sparked the New Deal.

Today we see no worker upsurge, no progressive revival, no mass movement in the streets among the unemployed and dispossessed like we witnessed in the 1930s. Obama faces no serious progressive pressure. Instead the Tea Party has emerged to grab all of the populist energy.

A right-wing populist movement was to be expected. FDR saw Father Coughlin, the radio preacher, galvanize a powerful populist force based on hatred of Jews and Wall Street. Huey Long gave Roosevelt fits with his “Everyman a King” demagoguery. But most importantly, these reactionary forces were more than balanced out by the labor movement that strengthened as workers poured into unions and into the streets.

What have we today? Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and the Tea Party. What we don’t have is a serious challenge from the progressive side of the spectrum. We don’t have an alternative vision to the billionaire bailout society. We don’t have a clear agenda to push onto Obama. And we sure as hell don’t have a mass movement that could enforce it.

We can moan all we want about Obama’s shortcomings, the mistakes his Administration has made and his inability to take on Wall Street. But we haven’t exactly applied a lot of heat. A million people on the mall demanding “Jobs Now” along with serious Wall Street reforms might help. A million people showing up repeatedly might actually get the job done.

Why have we forgotten how to build a mass movement just as the Tea Party shows that it can be done?

The free market on Wall Street is dead and has been for a long time. It’s been replaced by a billionaire bailout society that will provide decades of chronic unemployment and on-going bailouts for the super-rich.

It’s a damn shame Obama can’t deal with it. It’s a bigger shame that we won’t force him [to].

Not to offer too much of a bummer counter-view, I can’t help but answer some of his questions. First, I’m not really sure that the elected officials who supposedly represent the Democratic Party (and caucus) would give a shit if ‘we’ got a million, or ten million, or maybe even 100 million people in downtown Washington.

I’ve got the feeling that they’d just issue statements to the affect that they understand that people are concerned and they want us to understand that they’re doing their best, but Ben Nelson and Evan Bayh and Blanche Lincoln and Mary Landrieu and, of course, Joe Lieberman would like to make sure and say “Fuck all you hippies.”

Except they probably wouldn’t be allowed to issue even that statement until Bart Stupak got them to vote to legalize shooting abortion doctors. And then everyone would explain that until the Democrats had 164 Senators, the rules wouldn’t allow them to do anything.

Second, I’m not sure it’d be much covered outside those 2 hours of MSNBC from Olbermann to Maddow. You could have 100 million liberal Americans show up somewhere near DC and the major TV networks would ‘balance’ coverage of this World-Historic mass migration of humanity with 4 angry shouting tri-corner hat wearing TeaTards.

 
 

No, really, I’m fucking useless. I’m here to push people’s buttons by appearing to be “reasonable” and pretending I don’t get the joke. But by all means, please continue to address my points, libs! Tee-hee.

 
 

Second, I’m not sure it’d be much covered outside those 2 hours of MSNBC from Olbermann to Maddow.

Your bummer counter-view is quite right, but nonetheless, I think Leopold is basically right. I think (especially after Citizens United) that the only way to change things is to make corporate money toxic for politicians, so nobody can accept a corporate bribe campaign donation and expect to win.
Then you can get back to having a democracy.

I know my idea sounds absurd, but absurd things happen sometimes. There was a time when candidates could make explicitly segregationist statements and still win elections. The culture changed to make that impossible. I think a similar cultural change is necessary in this case. It pretty much has to come from grassroots organization and activism, and the media will (as you say) completely ignore, downplay and/or ridicule it, but that doesn’t make the effort any less necessary.

 
 

M Bouffant, I believe ‘tard is always acceptable in mixed company; tis only the addition of re-‘ that’ll get you in trouble because srsly, how many times in one word are you going to call someone, well, you know,’tard! Re-!

Wall Street has awarded itself a record bonus pool of $150 billion Is that nominal dollars or adjusted for inflation? IIRC, Goldman alone doled out more than $30 billion in 2007.

 
 

Of course we don’t have angry people marching in the streets. That’s the whole purpose of unemployment, food stamps, etc etc etc – to keep the dispossessed from getting too pissed off. It’s also why they bailed out the banks. If they had let them go down, then they would have been forced to really fix things. And no one would have gotten any of those sweet sweet campaign contributions they all count on if the banks and Wall Street had been reduced to smoking ruin. We never really fix things in this country; we just keep adding bandaids and hoping it will stauch the bleeding from the massive head wound.

 
 

eyes. watering. urine. dribbling. I so needed a laugh today.

 
 

Sick. I’d rather die than be inside Jonah.

That’s what he said.

 
 

And no one would have gotten any of those sweet sweet campaign contributions they all count on if the banks and Wall Street had been reduced to smoking ruin.

Which is reason #2,309 for publicly-funded elections.

The solution is so simple (like Esther’s trolling or finding Jonah’s stupidity) yet it will probably never, ever happen …

 
 

The Lame is strong with this one.

I’m dubious odious.

FTFY.

 
 

I hate how he seems to think that referencing fucking Star Wars all the time gives him nerd cred.

Seriously, dude should move onto Firefly references, or maybe BSG if he wants a challenge. I know they’re both from last decade, but they’re considerably fresher than Empire.

 
 

Okay, this thread’s probably old enough that I can really nerd it up without losing my street cred.

 
 

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, dude! It ain’t that stale a thread!

 
 

Okay, this thread’s probably old enough that I can really nerd it up without losing my street cred.

Following this idiot’s logic, everyone who ever wore a coat on a cold winter’s day has died of hypothermia.

What a doosh.

 
 

“Why have we forgotten how to build a mass movement just as the Tea Party shows that it can be done?”

Tea Party=Astroturf

Who’s going to astroturf a bunch of jobless lefties?

 
 

The thought of Jonah being inside of anyone makes my skin crawl.

 
 

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