Sadly, No!

I guess that I am going to try to accomplish three things today and at best hope for a marginal outcome on all three. It won’t be the first time that I have been a-Juggiling.

I have been commissioned to repair a letterpress printer of unknown provenance and vintage, so I am going to school and trying to download everything on the subject I can get my grubby hands on. I am going to try to catch up on a lot of reading and whatnot and lastly attempt to cobble something together in this space to deal with the knot in my throat that has numerous drafts devoted and started with the Charlie Hebdo incident and the reaction to same.

Fucking tragedy that was. A fucking tragedy that Vultures had to swoop in and make it about their agenda. Many have written beautifully about the tragedy and its meaning, many more have taken advantage of the opportunity provided in our wonderlicious landscape, to stoke fear, inflame hatreds’ and breed misunderstanding. It is almost as if there was a concerted effort to extinguish empathy from the face of the earth, which is itself a fucking tragedy, and might lie at the root of what sticks in my craw.

A buddy of mine at one of my haunts brought the following to my attention via facebook and I found in its brevity the soul of wit:

Muslim does it = Blame the religion.
Black does it = Blame the Race
White guy does it = Lone wolf, act of a crazy man.

(I paraphrase)

Tracks nicely with what my lying eyes seem intent to show me on a nearly daily basis. The thing that is getting in the way of me catching up on reading and jousting jocular with the alicuratti was the first thing that Roy brought to my attention this morning.

Picture a guy who while involved in shaving related program activities managed to bathe himself in blood. Still alive there is no way that it could be his own, in an attempt to cover the fact that he kept slipping in the blood he has managed to cover himself with about 30 rolls of toilet paper in an attempt to “fix” the situation. I know that I am torturing this metaphor like the teen-aged kid so enamoured of his first whiskers that he can not wait to bloody his face on his first attempt at shaving.

The Charlie Hebdo case has given our usual suspects plenty of opportunity to cover themselves in glory. Charles C. W. Cooke finds a roundabout way to a what-France-needs-is-more-guns argument:

Certainly, things might have been different if the events had unfolded in heavily armed states such as Oklahomhat constructiona or Texas — or, for that matter, if someone in an adjacent office had been possessed of a rifle of his own.

This guy:

Here we fucking go again. “Certainly, things might have…” Right out of the fucking gate. “Certainty” and “might have been,” separated only by “things” in one sentence that pays his fucking bills.

That construction should nuke the rest of his “argument” out of whatever backalley shithole (NRO, natch) nook of the Intertrons from which it hatched. The bloodsoaked stupidity of the rest of his argument which makes sense only in a land populated by M-16 laden Unicorns and Landmines, is simply more butcherblock boilerplate.

Here is the first graph:

To the foreign or uninitiated visitor, it must appear somewhat peculiar that the most prominent, recognizable, and provocative public figures in all of these United States spend the majority of their time in cities that are indifferent toward their security. Taken together, Washington, D.C., New York City, and Los Angeles host almost all of the more controversial media personalities in America; and, taken together, these cities have some of the worst self-defense laws in the country. Had Charlie Hebdo been an American publication, it would most likely have been located in Brooklyn or in Silver Lake or in Columbia Heights — positioned, in other words, in precisely the sort of place in which attacks on its employees would have been most likely to succeed. This, as the French might say, is “absurde.”

Or “merde.” “…in all of these United States…” Who writes like that? I’m afraid words have yet to be invented or have escaped my ken to describe, tripegnossis maybe .

Fuck this asshole.

The usual lineup of Shitbergers we know and love immediately jumped on the bandwagon to condemn the entirety of Islam on the acts of a few Zealous MadMen. Goldberg took to Fox to immediately call out the President for not immediately and at the top of his lungs proclaiming the tragedy a Terrorist attack.

Yesterday LoadPants was at it with everyone else in calling out Obama for not making an appearance in Paris. Dig this argument:

Goldberg said the decision not to send a high-profile US leader to the march is part of a pattern of the administration’s approach to combating terrorism.

“It fits into a pattern that this president and this White House has an ideological rule, that has gone forth, that says, ‘we are never going to overreact to terrorism. We’re never going to make a big deal about the war on terror if we don’t absolutely have to. We always say it’s a lone wolf, an isolated incident, until it’s way too late.'”

Goldberg, however, also suggested another underlying reason for what he said was a serious political oversight.

“I think you can never rule out incompetence as an explanation for anything in Washington,” he said.

The Stones on these people. And you can bet the family farm that had Obama made an appearance in Paris, they would have been singing a different tune. Thank god we have a liberal media.

Personally I think the Hebdo toons such as the are, are offensive. They offend me on many levels, but mostly I think they are in the poorest of form and accomplish nothing other than make bigots chuckle, good people uncomfortable and Murderers Murder. Ha fucking Ha! I understand the impulse to be sure or I would not be here. But I like to think that the work we do here is directed at proper objects of scorn and done with a defter touch. One of the first thoughts I committed to what might have been this piece:

Sandy Hook seems to have had less attention paid than the recent murders in France.

Both were tragic events involving angry and unstable shooters motivated by who
knows what really. In the case of Sandy Hook a child, for all intents and purposes,
shoots up a school filled with children and then himself. of course we will never have a clue of what motivated his actions for he is no longer available for comment.

At the end of the day in France we can only guess what motivated the shooters for as far as we know they are dead and themselves no longer available for comment.

Reams have been written about not only the motivation, but how this plays into the bigger picture, a “clash of civilizations” a fierce battle between the east and west for the soul of humanity, a battle between Islam and Christianity. But we really cant know for certain. There will be no trial, there will be no psychological
evaluation, really, no closure on these accounts.

And there will be none whatsoever. the evil that rules the world will continue to do so, division fomented will continue to provide profit for monsters and the enablers of evil will continue to nip at our heals. The following cartoon from Joe Sacco pretty much sums up my feelings on the subjects involved.

And I fear this post is going to be offensive to princesses everywhere. Here we go again. Yet another funeral hijacked by a bunch of petulant fucking children with no self awareness whatsoever.

You know the dude in glasses is fucked. He is probably already nursing bruises…

First the shitheels make the first funeral all about them, then decide that they just won’t do their jobs as diligently as they had previously in what amounts to a pretty obvious own goal.

The Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association has warned its members to put their safety first and not make arrests “unless absolutely necessary.”

Which begs and answers a couple of obvious questions…

So last night I was gonna make some dinner, and while perusing the store of planned ingredients discovered that a bag of grated cheese was missing from the fridge. It had been there the last time I looked (within the last day or two.) Now I live in a shady situation, kinda boarding house like, with shared common areas. It is cheap and I need cheap. Anyhow, this has not been the first time that shit has gone missing, and sometimes I let it slide, but this time I was pissed enough to make some noise.

One of the dudes I share a roof with is a kid (early 20’s) who is a shady ass bastard and almost certainly the thief. He is really good at lying, putting up a front and trying to deflect blame on others like he has been doing it all his life. Long story short, I didn’t buy his line, pressed the issue and he got angrier and angrier and at one point demanded that I respect him
and I explained that respect is something that is earned and that he had failed to earn mine. This goes on for a while when he decides to go there and calls me a Nigger, to my face after which I turn to a third party who was observing and said “did he just call me a Nigger?” third party nodded and the kid called me Nigger again. After he realized that wasn’t pressing any buttons he started in on Faggot which also failed to get a rise. By the end of the day he was up to about a dozen Niggers and half a dozen Faggots and still demanding that I respect his pink insignificance.

Upon further reflection last night on the transpirings, It occurred to me that I had experienced the same infantile sense of entitlement that the NYPD’s vaunted boys in Blue. JackAss first demanded my respect after I had called him out on a detailed list of shortcomings.

At least JackAss has a case-worker, and later knocked on my door to (I really didn’t listen) to offer some sort of contrition or rat on someone else, to cover his ass. Something it seems we will not be seeing from the “Most Important Persons in Blue that ever Lived to Serve and Protect Demand some Respect.

Another shot of the Petulant Lot:

If you click to embiggen the picture you might enjoy playing a game I usually reserve for the Republican National Convention, Nascar Races, NHL games, etc, which I like to call “Spot the Brother.” A quick survey of mine came up with two in the shot above, see if you can spot more of them.

These guys are pa-fucking-thetic. There is no other way to put it. They can’t for a minute stand the slightest bit of criticism; taking it as an attack on their very being. This is what happens after a decade plus of unabashed and continuous praise because 9/11 reasons. Prior to that they had a racist shitheel of a mayor that let them run roughshod over the least among them, giving every cop the chance to let his inner sadist’s freak flag a chance to fly. Who knows how many sadistic racist bastards joined the force at that time. So after two decades (or much more) of being able to behave as you please without impunity, the simple request to tone it down via “Stop and Frisk” harassment activities and maybe not kill so many unarmed minorities is taken as the deepest of cuts, a betrayal that can never be forgiven.

They have forgotten that not only does respect need to be earned, but that it can be lost and when lost will need to be earned again. Instead the jamokes feel that they are entitled to and demand respect and use to tools of toddlers to make their point. Below some choice quotes from the men in blue:

These from the beeb.

“The mayor has no respect for us,” retired NYPD detective Camille Sanfilippo told the Associated Press news agency at Liu’s funeral. “Why should we have respect for him?”

Glad this idiot is retired.

Patrick Yoes, a national secretary with the 328,000-member Fraternal Order of Police, said before the new funeral: “Across this country, we seem to be under attack in the law enforcement profession, and the message to take away from this is: We are public servants. We are not public enemies.”

I like the “seem”, as it indicates that the police are now a body driven by feelings, selfish feelings. It seems like law enforcement in this country is afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Dude, if you want us to buy the “public servants” crap don’t act as if the public are your enemies.

From the NYPost:

“I turned my back last week on [de Blasio], and I will continue to turn my back whenever I hear him speak because he disrespected me, Officer Ramos and Officer Liu when he said he warned his son, Dante, to be wary of cops,” said a uniformed cop at the funeral.

This one gets to the heart of the problem they have with de Blasio, that he had “the talk.” I wonder what fishbowl this asshole has been living in lately.

One cop who didn’t turn his back but looked away said, “I didn’t turn my back out of respect for the commissioner. But there’s no way I’m going to look at the mayor. He’s a joke. Everything he says today, he’s doing it to cover his a-?-.”

Classy move buttercup, a move that might have kept you from a beating by yer mates.

One of these days, when I’m feeling frisky, I’ll put one of those NYPD caps on this chap.

And because this image might be attached to one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internets I share with you a picture of one of the Princesses in cartoon form.

Update: Nym in comments suggests the following:

Do you think that mailing boxes of pacifiers to the NYPD would be a good form of protest?

Why yes, yes I do. It would be a perfectly appropriate response.

While the above did not get me out of bed, it certainly delayed my return.

Just Look at that masterpiece. Savor the glowering majesty.

Imagine the premise (as the straight to video dvd cover art asks) and what it would mean.

I had no idea that this thing existed, or imagined that it could. Thanks to an end of the year movie list I was introduced to the horror, the palpitating horror of an alternative history in which the world had to do without America. Only one man could imagine the unimaginable and to him is owed a great debt by the 35 people who watched the thing all the way through.

Well I have imagined a premise of my own.

And I try, but I cant imagine if we had missed (blurb from souzaphones about page) this:

Called one of the “top young public-policy makers in the country” by Investor’s Business Daily,[Convicted criminal Dinesh] D’Souza quickly became known as a major influencer on public policy through his writings. His first book, Illiberal Education (1991), publicized the phenomenon of political correctness in America’s colleges and universities and became a New York Times bestseller for 15 weeks. It has been listed as one of the most influential books of the 1990s.

Top young public-policy maker? If putting a poo-stick to paper and scribbling Orwellian screeds makes one a policy maker then I guess I can’t fault the wisdom of Investor’s Business Daily. I mean I thought that elected public officials were the makers of public policy, apparently I was wrong. Without “Illiberal Education” would we have ever had “Liberal Fascism”.

If you think about it this guy put a crack in the door and with a blowjob as a wedge, Jonah Goldberg pried it off its hinges.

The following is an invitation:

I’m Not Surprised When Leftists Start Screaming
They’ve spent a lot of time manufacturing their narrative, and I’m challenging it. See a little of what makes the left so mad—my free weekly emails give you a taste of what I do.

No shit we have…I mean whahuh? Projectoclese forgot his toga and it it not one of those kinds of parties.

Back when he was but a lad of 20 while at the prestigious Dartmouth college his winger bonafides were just taking shape, I mean Reagan had not even been in office for a year, Jerry Falwell was not yet a household name and televangelists were just getting their toes wet.

The Dartmouth Review, a conservative weekly student newspaper funded by off-campus right-wing sources (see 1980), publishes the names of the officers of Dartmouth College’s Gay Straight Alliance (GSA), along with material that had been stolen from the GSA’s confidential files. Many students, faculty members, administrators, and family members did not know that the “outed” students were gay until they read the article in the Review. One outed student reportedly contemplates suicide over his exposure. Review founding editor Greg Fossedal later says, “I felt terrible about it,” and editor [Convicted criminal] Dinesh D’Souza says he and his fellow editors did not know that the GSA had an exemption from the university over making its officers’ names public. According to D’Souza, he merely wanted to attack the secrecy of the funding of the GSA, and accuses the organization of using university money for “gay parties, gay orgies, or whatever.”

Everything a young wingnut needs to have in the tool box, from the “Shultz defense” to “whatever”. I mean “I didn’t know” and making shit out of whole cloth plus a little “ends justifying means” is pretty much all you need to become an influential mind bleeder in right wing circles.

[Ed: I think the above represents the Real Kevin D Williamson. Can”t find a picture of the dude with hair]

First article that you could say “Sorry, Hermione, you have a dick now” about and not be talking about fan-fiction

Kevin D. Williamson, National Review of the Transphobic Menace:
A New York State of Dysphoria

Oh goody, goody, goody. We have not covered brilliant biologist (author of the fabulous treatise on how manly sperm creates more boys) and winner of the Totally Believable Straight Person Disguise Award ten years running, Kevin D. Williamson in far too long here.

In fact, this is one of the posts that had me spinning my wheels a little bit, because there has been an outpouring of posts that were either deliberately calculated to push me past the breaking point of snark (mostly arguing that rape is totally fictional and all bitches lie about it, that torture was the A+ greatest thing and now the terrorists will win because we know about it, that black people totes deserve to be shot because they are intemperate in complaining about it, or just crowing on and on about how the latest election means that Obama is totes going to be Impeached any day now for insert made-up crime here) or prime meaty pieces of transphobic bullshittery responding to the slightly greater than average visibility of trans* voices of late.

And not wanting to make the blog an all-trans* or all incoherent rant blog, I instead chose total radio silence and getting sucked into my day job…

Perhaps I should rethink my concerns in the future.

But hey, for those of you who are worried about this turning into yet another episode of Ornery Aunt Cerberus eviscerating the transphobes, I must note that this is destined to be somewhat special.

After all, this is no ordinary trans*-fearing asshole turning to tired “biological” arguments based on a misinterpretation of an inadequate Health class ages past, this is Kevin D. Williamson, a man whose understanding of basic biology is second to none… because people with literally no understanding of biology can probably be trusted to be more accurate and pertaining to reality.

This is a man who literally believes you can make more boys by being ultra-manly and that the argument of Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin was the work of of a shmot guy, donchaknow.

I’d compare his intellect to mold, but I fear I would be selling the protist and fungi kingdoms short.

So yeah, when he pumps himself up for the “well, you see the reality of biology is…” pose so beloved by ignorant transphobes it holds an extra degree of… well, I should really let you see for yourself.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

• In a world where we still fail to understand the definition of insurance, these little changes mean we’ll be thrust into an oppressive New York Times led dystopia where innocent God-fearing folks will be thrown in jail, innocent words will be brutalized in the street, and I may one day have to acknowledge the humanity of another person. WOE THE HUMANITY!!!!

Read the rest of this entry »

I have no idea where this is gonna end up, but I can tell you where it began. I wanted to see if I could find any right wing reaction to the very classy behavior displayed by NewYork’sFinest™, during the funeral of their fallen comrade Rafael Ramos. I don’t know, but seems to me if you turn your back on a speaker invited by the family during the funeral of their son, you are doing it and many other things wrong

Police officers turn their backs as New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks at the funeral of New York city police officer Rafael Ramos in the Glendale section of Queens, Dec. 27, 2014, in New York.(Photo: John Minchillo, AP)

Turning your back on the mayor for reasons that seem to pass the same difficulty in understanding as a belief that De Blasio was somehow complicit in the murder, or that he somehow tarred the cops in question by shutting down a plaything of theirs (stop and frisk) as well as impugning the sterling reputation of the “force” by having “the talk” with his biracial (African American) son. As I put it yesterday “Fucking bunch of pathetic winy assed wankers. A pack of princess’ who found too many peas under their mattress’ and Rudolph’s Red Nose piss in their cheerios.

Trust theses guys for anything but pocket pool prowess, when not gang tackling minorities…No.”

That is about all the respect that hijacking a funeral to settle a family grievance deserves…

Anywhoo my search has been somewhat in vain re wingnut reaction but I do have the following tabs opened. Front page of NRO and the Corner, and a couple of tabs from the American Thinker open. We will just have to see how long the oxygen supply holds up. In fact I am beginning to think that I should have donned a Navy Mark V diving helmut for this mission, at least running out of air would not be an issue.

Scrolling down the page at the corner I came across another wingnut caricaturist, who not unlike Max Boot was born in Russia,(What is it with these modern day Randians) his name is Roman Genn and he is deep, as you can see in his headshot.

The piece that caught my attention was this excrescence:

Just look at that for a minute. Really, look. What the fuck is that? Really, What. The. Fuck. Is. That.

Upon reflection it occurs to me that it might be a self portrait. At this point it is the only thing that makes sense. The rest of his work is, well, about similarly charming.

As should surprise no one he is a master of the Zeitgeist of Trope™. Warren as an American Indian (she “claimed” some Cherokee ancestry, so fair is fair-amirite?) is funny ’cause reasons. Using the headress of upper plains Indian tribes to make sure your audience of bug-fucked morons gets the picture. Perfect. So yeah fuckhead caught my eye but we must move forward.

At the stinker I cant help but find out about this amazing rash of Negroid Mob violence (says it right there in the title.)

Now an old InternetFriend came up with one of my favorite ideas regarding our responsibilities vis-a-vis the War On Christmas when she asked in the comment section one day nearly a decade ago “…if everyone had finished setting up their War On Christmas machine gun nests” (still kills me) Anyhow we were but a rag tag group that wanted to help in anyway we could. It seems that the war would have been over much sooner if we had known that the Blacks were gonna storm the barricades. I for one would have been there to provide covering fire.

Colin Flaherty just jumps right out to the gate with what is obviously his favorite, well not obvious, really, at all, Hobby Horse; Black Mob Violence. (Our crack team of forensic experts were finally after months of intensive testing, able to determine that the mixture of sweat, sawdust, blood and semen had once been the remains of a “hobby horse”.)

Holidays are a special time for practitioners and deniers of black mob violence. The Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day and of course New Year’s are among the most popular.

One prays that something that defines what a practitioner or denier of the Dark Arts of Black Mob violence will follow, but suspect that it is assumed I should know, and I am not sure how much of this rabbit hole I wish to plumb. Plus, the sense making, seems utterly lacking in the opening.

But not Christmas. Not usually. Not until this year: Black mob violence and resentment erupted across the country during the 72 hours before, during and after Christmas. And not the “carry signs and send out a press release” kind of political violence.

Is it just me, or does none of what pretends to be a “sentence” in the previous, possess any coherence or make a lick of sense. I mean I have surfaced now so that I can remove the face mask and replace that with my wingnut decoder glasses and still get nothing but questions. Does he mean that for three days before, three days during, and three days after Christmas that there was a spike in something related to the MobOfMudderers™ and their resentful ways, and if so, we still have about fifteen hours left before this reign of terror is over.

If I am charitable, and as there are not three days of Christmas, I must be, he meant the day and a half preceding and day and a half after. I’ll keep mucking the stall in search of the Unicorn of Understanding™. This …”carry signs and send out a press release” seems in want of something resembling citation or definition as well. Lurching forward toward oblivion we go:

This year’s Yuletide racial violence was more spontaneous. More deadly. More old school. Not connected to the recent political protests over Mike Brown, Eric Garner and fill in your favorite atrocity that racist police inflicted on black people For No Reason What So Ever.

I should not be one to talk about editors, ’cause we don’t have any, but for the love of god is there not an editor at the American Thinker? Can I set up a Janus Node with parameters that will file jibberish for me so i can get a lounge chaise on the deck of the WingNutGravyBoat? Examples surely follow:

Let’s start in a small town near Houston called Texas City, where hundreds of black people decided to celebrate Christmas Night at a party promoting “Hood Night.’

Near midnight, one of the patrons found himself in the parking lot, shooting a handgun. When police arrived, he was shooting toward the crowd and ignored orders to drop the weapon.

That is when Hood Night got real: The man with the gun turned towards police and they shot him dead. At least that is what the nightclub owner told local news stations after he reviewed the footage from his security cameras.

This stuff actually seems to read like, well, something that makes sense, though I am not sure how it supports his point as in this case the story ends with dead Black dude.

Off to Chicago, the day after Christmas: The Navy Pier hosted a holiday gathering called Winter WonderFest. During the party, 100 to 200 black people fought, raged, rampaged, destroyed property and fired guns.

In almost every episode in this report, people said guns were fired, but police said they were not. Unless someone got shot.

I’ll leave that without comment so we can move on to Andrew McCarthy who seems to know who is responsible for the Murders of the cops in Brooklyn. Imma gonna take a flying leap and guess that the guy who actually shot the cops is not exactly the culpable party in this case. I really had yet to open that one, and what meets the eye first thing is a picture of Al Sharpton. Lets see where this goes.

A week ago, New York City police officers Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos were murdered in an act of premeditated assassination by a man who was patently inspired by — indeed, was a documented participant in — a radical movement that has brazenly called for cops to be murdered.

I swear to dog that as long as they are yakking about Nig[CLANG]gers, Wingers like McCarthy are free to make shit up out of whole cloth whilst looking over spectacles, smoking a pipe and stroking their finely coiffed Viennese beards. Especially regarding as of yet unnamed dead Nig[CLANG]gers. Entire unnamed movements brazenly…Keep fucking that chicken, Andrew…Lets see what tendentious codswallop follows.

To be sure, not every radical in the movement is down for the cop killing, no more than every Islamist thinks jihadist terror is the best route to imposing sharia. But cop killing is undeniably an aim of a not insignificant part of the movement’s hard core, and a good many more members applaud it even if they would not carry it out themselves. Cop killing is thus a foreseeable, if not inexorable, consequence of tolerating the movement as a well-intentioned display of our commitment to free speech.

Really Francis?!?!? “…undeniably…” “…not insignificant…” “”foreseeable, if not inexorable,…” I gotta ask, are you an expert in the art of Roast Weasel and sauces derived from Weasel reductions?

This morning during my personal symphony in the key of B-Minor I left a great weight in the toilet. I think It will be know hereafter as the “Unnamed Movement” or “Movement without a Name” or “Movement that should not be Named” for it was prodigious.

Thoughtful commentators, including several at National Review, have been quick to assert that responsibility for the murders lies solely with the triggerman. As a narrow proposition, and in a strictly legal sense, that is true.

And in any other universe this would be where the column started and ended, but when you are a Plutocratic Fluffer, a reverse Hookah, if you will, or verily a penii milking machine, what follows must certainly include a “however”.

I cannot agree with it, however, if it is a statement, more broadly, that no culpability should be laid at the feet of the movement and those involved in it:

Round up the usual suspects of wingnut nightmares and you will get the picture.

Last but not least we get to some work I did myself this morning, starting with a screen grab and ending with a transcript. The focus of this one is an old flame, one Victor Davis HardoniForHapliticus Pornstashitus Hanson talking war in an old History channel Documentary on Ancient Greece:

Victor Davis HardoniForHapliticus Pornstashitus Hanson

Here he talks about what warfare was like during these times with sword plunges and spear thrusts…

“You’re dodging spears from men in front, and behind. You probably couldn’t
see or hear, all you would feel would be pressure. You wouldn’t see the sword
plunge that took one of your testicles off. You would not see the spear thrust
that took your head off. You would have no idea what was going on, just the momentum that carried you ahead. All you would be aware of is that you had to push forward and keep stabbing and keep on your feet, and you would hope that everybody else would do that.”

The ability of headless mono-testicled warriors to continue the pressure was at one time the most tightly guarded military secret in the world. No wonder those crafty bastards conquered the known world. They must have been a terrifying site to behold, the din of helmets lolling about, clanking against shoulder pads and other helmets. Anyhow the head pictured above was in the midst of mouthing those words.

Victor Davis HardoniForHapliticus Pornstashitus Hanson on Grecian Democracy:

“Every Athenian knew that he had voted to fight and that this reflected the
majority vote of the citizens and that was not true of the Persian. Whatever you want to say about Democracy, it fields the most patriotic, enthusiastic and often large armies.”

And in HansonLand™ the last bit is the tiny thread that justifies the existence of Democracy. When it cries for blood it does so with a patriotic lather that makes a chairborne classicist toes curl, eyes roll back while he fills a silk stocking with milky promise.

Prager sends us all a Holiday missive from his happy vacation home.

Dennis Prager, National Gift to Humanity:
There is a ‘Worst Sin’: Evil in God’s name

Happy belated Solstice everybody. As we approach the remainder of this holiday season, many of us have an increase in stressors and frustrating moments. Whether it be placating racist Uncle Steve so that your dear old mother can have an altogether happy Xmas memory, suffering through stampeding crowds of crazed last-minute shoppers as a retail employee, enjoying very occasional placations of your actual faith maybe, perhaps… well, they put a menorah on the Christmas tree, so, that’ll just have to do, you sinner, or enjoying a Very Disowned Xmas meal dinner, the Holiday season is not always the festive occasion the relentless advertisements strewn about the web (and in that boring analogue world) make it out to be.

Now, some of us may be lucky in that we’ve got somewhere to go and have actually pleasant interactions with people we love or at least a sweet week or two of vacation time to burn.

But for the rest, I bring you an extra gift to get you through this blizzard of forced merriment and cheer.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

• Ugh, you know what the worst is? Asshole religious types who will gleefully dump all their hate and violent actions on some higher power to avoid responsibility. I mean, let’s look at the Christian Bible, it doesn’t say, be good and loving, unless you can really delude yourself that God really hates those bastards over there…. um… wait… what words are coming out of my mouth right now? Uh, not me, I’m talking about filthy muzzies and atheists who don’t even follow the Christian Bible! Yeah, that’s the ticket. Ah, cognitive dissonance, you bail me out once again.

Read the rest of this entry »

This one is about Psychological Projection. Media Matters has named bow-tied, bespectacled hack for the ages, George Will, their misinformer of the year.

That’s the putz, right there, just look at it. He has had quite the year, what with the Global Warming Denialism, His multiplicity of Bootstraps-R-AllYouNeedNiggers commentary, and one of the Biggest Howlers of the year regarding rape accusations. This is a line that struck me in ways that had not occurred to me before. It is almost like he was unwittingly attempting to give a whole new level of meaning to “It’s always Projection”:

“[W]hen they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate.”

In that one line, separated from any reference to rape, is a distillation of every stinking oleaginous center of the thinly tough-guy-veneered wingnut screech owl and howler monkey alike.

Half (or more) of the entire wingnut foundation lies on their special status as victims; of the gubmint, of Black people, of that menacing shadow in the alleyway. Have there ever been a more pathetic bunch of wingers terrified of anything that does not agree, accede, comport, or look like themselves in the history of ever? (Probably, but given the nature of modern technology we just see so much more of it.)

These are the white people who are convinced that they are discriminated by black people. These are the ones that scream foul about infringement of their first amendment rights when someone happens to challenged any factless, innumerate, or historically inaccurate bullshit that seeps from their maws.

These are Republicans, wishing they could take credit for a crown of thorns unworn, who revel in suggesting that they have been lynched when oddly enough rope burns (or ligature marks) seem oddly absent from their necks and seem to remain ambulatory in the aftermath.

*The only result of that unholy union that I can imagine is a projectiplex that might actually allow light to escape an event horizon.

[UPDATE on comment related program activities]
It seems that our new spam filter was designed to kill discourse and as I don’t want to parse a ream of php fucking code to edit the line that would unblock the cocks, er comments I have turned it off. Sorry about the inconvenience and more so about the lost witty banter that might have transpired otherwise. Special thanks to PupMax and OBS for alerting me to the issue.

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I Know I have run across Matt Bors before and will definitely be keeping closer tabs, This one got a laugh out of me this morning and is to my mind a definitive example of the axiom that “Brevity is the soul of Wit”.

Many more where that came from.

Was hanging out with some old friends at an old haunt when I was introduced to this gleaming shiny bleach-mouthed paragon of Wingnuttery, a member in good standing of the All your Uteri Are Belong To Us™, Division. For those of you that don’t make it regularly over to Mother Jones I present to you: Rick Brattin.

I cant think of any particular amendments to make to the image as it is almost a joke unto itself, invoking in my mind black lit velvet Elvii from the 70’s, those huge eyed paintings from the 60’s and ultimately a Rear window tintstrip of the Eagle crying with a flag background on a pickup truck festooned with yellow ribbon magnets and bedecked with a pair of TruckNutz (a pair of which I caught in the wild recently with a friend who had been previously unfamiliar with the concept, which got away before I could get a picture, but I digress.)

Anyhoo, this lovely young man has somehow managed to become a state Rep in the Show me State of Missouri and has a really good idea. Dig it, ladies, and Gents, he wants to mandate that women who are about to obtain abortions (apparently still legal and available in MO.*) obtain the permission of the sperm donor before the procedure can take place. Now in the case of “legitimate rape” she can forgo this necessity as though the burdon of proof, oddly enough seems weighted on her. Incest, also, too. Here he mansplains his version of the meaning of “legitimate rape”:

Brattin adds that he is not using the term “legitimate rape” in the same way as former Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), who famously claimed that women couldn’t get pregnant from a “legitimate rape” because “the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down.”

“I’m just saying if there was a legitimate rape, you’re going to make a police report, just as if you were robbed,” Brattin says. “That’s just common sense.” Under his bill, he adds, “you have to take steps to show that you were raped…And I’d think you’d be able to prove that.”

*Apparently I was only half joking:

Missouri is home to only one abortion clinic, based in St. Louis. Each year, legislators target the clinic with dozens of new restrictions. In 2014, the GOP-controlled Legislature approved a bill requiring women seeking an abortion to wait 72 hours between the initial consultation and the procedure. It’s the longest abortion waiting period in the county.

One clinic located on the edge of the state, under constant assault. Check.
The logic that follows is well, just special

A group of Democratic lawmakers in Missouri found the onslaught of anti-abortion bills so ridiculous that in 2012 they introduced a bill to ban vasectomies except to save the life of a man. If conservative male lawmakers imagined jumping through hoops to obtain reproductive services, the thinking went, they would see the absurdity of their anti-abortion crusade.

Not Brattin. The father of five says that his recent vasectomy was the inspiration for this bill.

“When a man goes in for that procedure—at least in the state of Missouri—you have to have a consent form from your spouse in order to have that procedure done,” he says. “Here I was getting a normal procedure that has nothing to do with another human being’s life, and I needed to get a signed form…But on ending a life, you don’t. I think that’s pretty twisted.”

What I think is twisted is that you didn’t think that having your spouse sign off on the procedure was a ridiculous violation of privacy and think about doing something about that. I might add that spousal agreement in this case makes at least some kind of lizard brained sense, where as your sperm donator protection act seems not to require any spousal involvment at all.

But then we get to the punchline, which should surprise none of us:

A spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region and Southwest Missouri, a group of clinics that perform vasectomies, says that there is no law in Missouri requiring a man to get another person’s permission for a vasectomy. Individual providers sometimes require a patient to have his partner’s consent. (Planned Parenthood of Missouri does not.) Brattin saved the document his wife signed and intends to share it with other lawmakers when it comes time to promote his bill.

Maybe he can see if he can get the Jar with Santorum’s abortimiscarriage child for show and tell as well.

From his Bio:

Rick was born in July 1980 and grew up in Greenwood, Missouri where he graduated from Lee’s Summit High School. After graduating, he worked in the construction industry until September 11, 2001. He then joined the United States Marine Corps where he served for six years as a Noncommissioned Officer. Since then, Rick has been owner and operator of a family construction company and tends a 40-acre farm in central Cass County north of Harrisonville.

Wishes he could be a man and not just a Simulacrum of one.

Unlike our Hero below. Actually there may be a few “heroes”…

We’ll Start with a comment held up in moderation…Talk about an easy mango harvest…So DroolingToolHandsInPantsEightBallInCornerPocket Iron Guardsman starts thusly:

They are always talking about how over crowed our schools are, well Obama what do you think you just done to the school systems.

Starts as a love note to the President and one wonders (Hey Obammer, good to see you bud) how in the hell someone so eloquent as to completely cockblock what was gonna be some delicious snark I had planned for this bit in only the second sentence, knows that Obama spends a considerable amount of time reading this blog and thus this message would reach its target, is beyond me, but then Horatio there are things in heaven and earth…

How many will sit in class all day and can’t even speak a word of English.

Or write a proper sentence, spell, cohere,…Mr Guardsman does earn points for something resembling retention and demonstrates a mastery of Regurgitation.

Just where do you think jobs will come from for 5 million illegals, that’s millions more that will be on food stamps and every other give away that’s out there.

As Far as the Jobs are concerned, they already have them and truth be told most of them work harder in one day than your sorry ass toils in a week, and that is me being generous, my dear friend.

And as usual the American tax payers will have to foot the bill.

Dude as far as the generous givaways and food satrapamps that yer hardly-earned tax monies is for payin’ look no further than your white trash neighbors, or the ones two blocks down and possibly some of your fellow guardsmen and women who are hoovering up the vast majority of welfare in this country. And once again, the question must not only be asked, but begged. If these ingrates have it going so fucking good, why have you, Mr Guardsman Sir, failed to purchase a ticket for a ride on that lavish GravyTrain™? I understand that they have a main office on EasyStreet™ where they are practically giving tickets away.

This comment is a longish one so let see what else sticks in Iron Man’s craw.

We have had laws all along about immigration, that you ignored. That was the only problem with immigration, no one would follow the law and deport them as they crossed our borders like a bunch of cattle.

If a hanging curveball was an unhittable pitch, this sonofabitch would have a couple of bookshelves laden with Cy Young Awards. Did they use to “deport” cattle from Kansas City to the Chicago Stockyards?

I’ll leave the rest as an example of “‘Tis better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

Now you have caused our country to be over run by millions of illegals, a lot of them are rapist and murderers and every kind of #$%$ there is.They are still coming here daily, because you have failed to do your job and have blocked anyone that wants to do what should be done. This stupid move by our dictator of a president will destroy our once great nation.I did not vote for you and that is the reason, you do not know a damn thing about running a country, you have never listened to anything the American citizens wanted for our country. For some reason you think you know what is best for us and we are suppose to just go along with your idiot ideas. If this POS is not impeached he will bring this country down before his last and final term is up.Obama you are a disgrace to this country and to black people also.You have gave our country away to a bunch of illegals and want us to be happy about it. Well i want everyone thats illegal to be deported, they broke the law, and i want our borders closed down tight and guarded to keep anyone else from crossing our borders illegally ever again. If you want to come to America, do it the right way.

In order to be a fully functioning member of the Wingnut Tribe requires the balancing of so many Psychoses as to reduce a Cirque du Soliel Juggler to tears.

For some reason this morning that Brick and Mortar favorite of ours The Conservative Treehouse pooped into my head, so I think that a trip yonder way might find some Nut-ricious delights. Totally forgot that they were keeping it real, helping fill the void left behind by Andrew Breitbart. Again the Masthead

Yeah, Uhm, Er, Treehouse…Check. Breitbart, uhm…check. I could goof on that all fucking day long, I mean just examine the absurdity, let it wash over you and then climb the ladder into some certain to be boilerplate Winger Bilge with an oily sheen of Racis…Hell, every ism that does not kindly appoint its utterer.

To be as fair as a blood-spattered be-fanged lunatic left winger can be, the site is actually called The Last Refuge. But with a URL of http://theconservativetreehouse.com/ one can’t help but point and laugh when faced with the banner. So on to the HaterAde™. While the the current post at the top is a bunch of God Botherin’ stuff and bible quotes (washes the stain of hatin’ right on down it does), the one that follows starts thusly and is sure to be a Rejoice-a-thon MRA style:

Via Daily Caller – When Ryan, a University of Virginia student — described in the widely-discredited Rolling Stone article on campus rape as “Randall” — told Jackie he was not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her in September 2012, he says “it did not go over very well.”

I think we are about to see the wind up and delivery of some serious “Bitches be Crazy” heat coming toward the plate…Actually not. In order to find some actual yakking I had to hit a link that quoted more of the DC and then another Read More link leading to the DC article itself. Blooging be easy over there. Lets check under the next pile and see if a Unicorn stabs us in the eye.

Friday’s Portland “School Shooting” Was Gangbanger Violence – One Suspect Arrested…

Posted on December 14, 2014 by sundance

2014 Modern Media Disclaimer: The story you are about to read is true; all events happened as described in mainstream media; however, the races have been removed to protect the narrative….

Portland, Ore. — A suspect in a shooting that wounded three students outside an alternative high school was arrested early Saturday in what appears to be a gang-related attack, Portland police said.

There we go, everything written before the words Portland, Ore. are composed by his slickness and not at all racist misoginious Mr Butch, I mean Sundance. The rest is Cut and Paste of the article and while the comments are a hoot I can see why we don’t visit this space very often. I hope that coward Mr Dance has a fucking day job.