Sadly, No!

Agnolo Bronzino (prob. Jacopo Pontormo): “Portrait of a Shitmoat Builder with Her Litter“(c. 1530)(soil on wood) Amy Alkon, Advice Shitmoatress Blog Burka Barbie! All Muslims suck. Amy Alkon, Advice Shitmoatress Blog Vote Your Melanin Black people are the real racists. Toronto Star Interview with Amy Alkon: I beg your *#$@%%*! pardon My technique of ending […]

About People With Heads Filled With Lettuce ABOVE: Arnold Alkon, performing as “Amy,” delivers a stirring lip-synched performance of the Weather Girls’ hit, “It’s Raining Men” Liberals think they’re sooooo smart when they say that I’m prejudiced, but they’re prejudiced too. They’re prejudiced against racism. So there. ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected […]

Above: Formerly respected advice columnist Is It Racist If I Say This? Oh yeah? Oh yeah? So it’s quote-unquote ‘racist’ for me to say that some ghetto bitch with a litter of brats deserved to get killed? What about when blacks like LaShawn Barber say things, huh? Huh? ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and […]

“Amy” Alkon has been doing a great imitation of an Italian soccer player lately. Every time we come anywhere near her, she falls down, starts screaming in pain, contorts her face wildly and gestures for a referee, hoping that we’ll get a yellow (or better yet, a red) card. You know, like this: Her schtick […]

“Sneaky little sadlynautses” Hey, I was wandering around the Internetz this morning when I saw our good friend Amy Arnold Alkon out digging one of his famous shit moats. So I decided to pay a visit to our favorite Los Angeles transvestite and see what’s cooking in the advice goddess business. First, Arnold was upset […]

Amy Alkon berates some random mother for taking extra milk for her baby’s bottle at the Starbucks while buying a coffee. Her commenters are predictably outraged — with the mom. ‘Can’t wait for Mommy to teach her kiddie ethics,’ La Alkon snorts. Unfortunately, those lessons have been pushed back until such a time as the […]

Agnolo Bronzino (prob. Jacopo Pontormo): “Portrait of a Shitmoat Builder with Her Litter“(c. 1530)(soil on wood) Oh goodness me. You let Amy Arnold Alkon out of your sight for just a few minutes and the next thing you know she’s up to her usual shit-moat antics again, this time obsessively trolling the Amazon comments thread […]

ABOVE: “Amy” reviews an advance copyof her latest book Hey, kids, let’s go poke Albert “Amy” Alkon with a stick and have some fun, mkay? Although “Amy” is allegedly a libertarian, she’s indignantly snorting and huffing about Obama’s selection of Joe Biden. She’s upset because she thinks Biden is a plagiarist. So why should a […]

Advice Goddess Amy Alkon: On another boneheaded note, my hotel removed all refrigerators and minibars from the rooms. I had to pay $10 to have a small refrigerator brought up so I could keep four days of salami (which I always carry with me, in case somebody’s serving pasta or something I don’t eat). Does […]

“Hints of kerosene and acetone in the bouquetwith notes of ashtray, hard-boiled eggs and oldcat litter.” Ann Althouse, the Gallo Distinguished Professor of Law at the University of Wisconsin School of Law, staggered over to Drudge and latched onto news reports of Obama’s annual physical like a homeless alley drunk onto a full canister of […]