For the record, Amy pays for every bit of the toilet paper she uses to stuff her bra.

Also, it’s called the “take a penny, leave a penny” tray for a reason, moochers!

Similar to what i mentioned yesterday, this is the problem with the intertubes now. People like Amy used to write green inked letter to the local papers. Now she has a website and can spout off as much as possible.

and jesus, she got an interview with the BBC for her PoS book……

Love child of Ayn Rand and Andy Rooney?

I’ll take the fifth here, which makes two of ’em I’m working on tonight.

–Come to think of it, that makes three fifths, in a nonsense.

I am shocked, shocked! that someone would use her purported concern with good manners as an excuse to commit the ultimate social gaffe, i.e. concerning herself with someone else’s choices that do not affect her in any way.

Huh. Actually, it is kind of douchy, like office workers who filch post-it pads (and not the marketing gimmes, either) or who drink the coffee but don’t put a quarter in the collection can. But it’s kind of what I’ve come to expect from overly-entitled middle-class/upper-middle-class-aspirant middle-aged white people.

Kind of like my FOX News-bot coworker who blatantly announced he was against healthcare reform because his wife pulls down big bucks in admin at a for-profit hospital and under the original plan (don’t know if the lobbyists “fixed” this) their obscene profits would go down. BTW, this is the same hospital that turns people away at the ER and sends them down to the public hospital where you may have to wait over 24 hrs…

Yup, forget the mission, it’s all about MEEEEEEE!

(Hey, anyone should be entitled to a fair wage but it’s a far cry from median income to being able to live like Rihanna. So hard, so hard, so hard, so haaaard.)

Glad to see our St. Man-Lady of Other People’s Morals has ventured beyond the comfortable confines of their shit-moat Cave of Righteousness. I anxiously await the forthcoming lectures on “people who take more than one napkin” and “people who read the magazine YOU want to read, while sitting in the dentist’s office”.

I was thinking she was the love child of Ayn Rand and Michael Savage.

Look on the bright side — she’s not on the air, yet, (I assume, not looking) screaming at some 11 year old about how ‘where was everyone when Mommy was vomiting blood’?

The best thing is she bothered to confront the mother. I’ll bet each of the 17 Starbucks employees in the store at the time couldn’t wait to get home and blog about the incident. In fact, this will probably be worth 3-5 McSweeney’s submissions and however-many-pages of a screenplay one of the barristas can make it through before the Bolivian marching powder wears off.

Yeah, I’m glad nobody had blogs complaining about my Dad lifting bulk-style out of chain restaurants anything ‘free’ which wasn’t tied down — napkins, toothpicks, sugars, sweeteners, lemons, ketchup.

from the comments:

The milk is there to add to the coffee, you stupid, shitty excuse for a parent. If your kid grows up to rob a bank, I hope you figure out who taught him it was okay.

This is how Bernie Madoff got started.

I wonder if Amy will berate me if she finds out about my long-standing habit of putting extra napkins, toothpicks, sticky candies, and condiments in restaurants.

moar

Patrick – I’ll bet you she’s a greenie, and she feels perfectly justified in her actions. After all, she’s such a good person, she’s entitled to this.

http://dctrawler.dailycaller.com/2010/03/16/the-science-is-settled-environmentalists-are-dicks/

algore steals milk from starbucks too!

I’ll bet you she’s a greenie

She’s an amphetamine used in MLB?

Let’s not ignore the greater ramifications here — if people keep stealing extra milk from Starbucks for their miserable spawn creatures, then Starbucks can hardly afford those really nice displays featuring the CD’s of the inoffensive background music artists they’re playing.

El Cid – for the first time, I truly disagree with you. “Inoffensive”? Really?

Greenie – Person who believes the atmosphere isn’t an open sewer and doesn’t find Corporate executives’ dingle-berries a delicacy.

No joke — props should go to none other than Debbie Schlussel:

Sean Hannity’s Freedom CONcert Scam: Almost None of Charity’s $ Went to Injured Troops, Kids of Fallen Troops; G5s for Vannity?

By Debbie Schlussel

For the last several years, Sean Hannity and the Freedom Alliance “charity” have conducted “Freedom Concerts” across America. They’ve told you that they are raising money to pay for the college tuition of the children of fallen soldiers and to pay severely wounded war vets. And on Friday Night, Hannity will be honored with an award for this “Outstanding Community Service by a Radio Talk Show Host” at Talkers Magazine’s convention.

But it’s all a huge scam.

In fact, less than 20%–and in two recent years, less than 7% and 4%, respectively–of the money raised by Freedom Alliance went to these causes, while millions of dollars went to expenses, including consultants and apparently to ferret the Hannity posse of family and friends in high style.

And, despite Hannity’s statements to the contrary on his nationally syndicated radio show, few of the children of fallen soldiers got more than $1,000-$2,000, with apparently none getting more than $6,000, while Freedom Alliance appears to have spent tens of thousands of dollars for private planes.

Moreover, despite written assurances to donors that all money raised would go directly to scholarships for kids of the fallen heroes and not to expenses, has begun charging expenses of nearly $500,000 to give out just over $800,000 in scholarships.

She may be insane, but credit where it’s due.

to ferret the Hannity posse of family and friends in high style

I hope she means “ferry”, but if the Hannity posse get off on mustelids then all the better.

I’ll bet you she’s a greenie, and she feels perfectly justified in her actions. After all, she’s such a good person, she’s entitled to this.

She is…

At 5 bucks a cup?

She really fucking is.

Generally,in restaurants, if something isn’t served at the counter, it’s so cheap to get the stuff that they can risk it. It’s like a soda fountain, it’s so cheap to buy that it takes 8 refills to lose out on the $1.50 they charge a cup.

“Look at this horrible bitch asking for another glass of tap water at a restaurant. They pay good money for that”

PS – Have you noticed that Amy Alkon only seems to show up women. Where’s her story about telling off a 6-and-a-half foot dude? I mean, are you really standing up to something when you’re only verbally abusing people smaller than you?

Anthony, she didn’t even show up that woman/hell-spawn mother. She didn’t show up the manager of the Starbucks to get an even better blog post. All she did was ask a question and get an answer that, a probable paraphrasing later, makes Ms. Alkon the tireless civil servant and the mother the wayward citizen in need of an education program.

Ms. Alkon will probably skip the Wingnut Welfare System entirely and be kidnapped by the Kims from North Korea so she can teach a willing nation how to be a proper individual.

Why does she assume the woman is a “greenie?”

Because she eats at Starbucks, that bastion of liberal sympathy?

But isn’t Amy also eating at Starbucks?

People don’t use the regular milk at a Starbucks condiment bar. Only the half and half and the skim.

But isn’t Amy also eating at Starbucks?

As a spy, dahlink.

As a spy…….

El Cid-
Yeah, I’m glad nobody had blogs complaining about my Dad lifting bulk-style out of chain restaurants anything ‘free’ which wasn’t tied down — napkins, toothpicks, sugars, sweeteners, lemons, ketchup.

N__B
I wonder if Amy will berate me if she finds out about my long-standing habit of putting extra napkins, toothpicks, sticky candies, and condiments in restaurants.

The only conclusion I can draw is that N__B is El Cid’s father.

77South — I may be wrong, but it sounds to me like N_B sounds more like my anti-Dad, or the Bizarro-universe Dad. My dad took ’em out, he put ’em in.

Why does she assume the woman is a “greenie?”

That was from a commenter, not from Alkon. The commenter made the assumption because he’s a wingnut and therefore feels no need to make sense.

The comments section in general consists of people who feel entitled to kvetch about how intolerable it is that they have to share the planet with people who feel entitled.

The only conclusion I can draw is that N__B is El Cid’s father.

But is N__B stealing Starbuck’s milk to give to El Cid?

SCANDAL

I wonder how she would have handled Jean Valjean?

My dad took ‘em out, he put ‘em in.

When I was in college, I’d occasionally buy a bag of Skittles, then go put them into the coin return slot on pay phones. Probably should’ve stuck around to watch reactions, but I never did…

It’s interesting that she buys coffee at Starbucks, where a cup of bitter brown battery acid is shoved in your hand and you are basically told to go stuff your own shit in it, AND THEN asked for a tip, but all she can complain about is the rudeness of some woman feeding her hungry kid off ‘Bucks nickle.

It was critical that she pointed out the woman was Asian, because, you know, the race of a mother taking some milk from Starbucks is an important part of the story.

Only that, no. Not even. Let me preface by saying that I don’t drink at Starbucks, I’m an independent mom & pop type of guy when it comes to coffeeshops. Especially mom, but that’s another story.

Starbucks in their own words. The coffeeshop isn’t meant to be a retail outlet – it’s meant to be a fixture in the neighbourhood. They aren’t selling coffee, they are selling the coffeehouse experience – and that’s how they get away with charging five bucks for a venti latte.

Possible responses by lady Amy yells at:

“Thank you for your concern, but everybody here knows me because I come in here every day and tip like Frank Sinatra.” Kindly fuck off.

“Pleased to meet you ma’am. The name’s Lin Yang. Lin Yang Starbuck.”

“Ooo, so solly, Amelican lady. I from land where shopowners happy to exchange emergency niceties with customer. I often forget I now in country of suspicious score-keeping hallidans.”

(Starbucks manager) “Lady, would you please leave our customers alone?”

Where’s her story about telling off a 6-and-a-half foot dude?

I’m hoping to provide that fodder. I’ve already been threatened by her minions on her “book” page at Amazon.

It was critical that she pointed out the woman was Asian, because, you know, the race of a mother taking some milk from Starbucks is an important part of the story.

Not just that, but that she had a $325 stroller (brand name mentioned…possible advertising pitch?). Not that the woman could have gotten the stroller as a shower gift, noooooooooooooooo.

They aren’t selling coffee, they are selling the coffeehouse experience

So, I go to Cafe Figaro in the Village, where I can buy a cappucino and sit there for four hours, reading the Times (which she’d probably bitch about, cuz I usually get a window seat). I have my hypothetical daughter there. I pour some of the milk I’ve asked for into a sippy cup for the kid to drink while I sit there, you know, because I want her to share in the experience, but the last thing I need is a caffeine-crazed three year old terrorizing the other patrons by screeching her ass off.

And Amy, this shining example of *koffkoff* good manners and politeness, this paragon of parenting, this Amazon of amity, would have a problem with this?

Wow. What a sad little woman she is…

I know what I would say if when I was in a Starbucks and some public-schooled child was suckling via single serving containerlets of pasteurized half-and-half,
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Release the Kraken!

To be fair, that’s pretty much your reaction to everything.

This wouldn’t have happened if Amy wore her gun into Starbucks.

But is N__B stealing Starbuck’s milk to give to El Cid?

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

This wouldn’t have happened if Amy wore her gun into Starbucks.

Arnold whipped out his pair of 22s. I wasn’t scared. Then he whipped out his guns. I was scared!

It was critical that she pointed out the woman was Asian, because, you know, the race of a mother taking some milk from Starbucks is an important part of the story.

Further highlights the terrible parenting of the mother. The kid’s a higher risk for lactose intolerance.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN! will be the only worthwhile part of Clash. Bookmark it.

I can’t tell the difference between Amy Alkon and Megan McArdle. I don’t think it matters, though.

I wouldn’t believe Alkon’s version of any such event on an infinite stack of Bibles.

When Son Two was a baby (he’s nearly 14), I was at the grocery store, carrying the muscular and weighty little dude on one hip and balancing a hand-basket of little jars on the other. Little jars of organic applesauce, mashed bananas–you know, baby food. I had about fifteen jars in my basket–not a huge load–but Son Two was starting to wriggle and struggle, the way 18-month-olds do. The store manager saw me standing in line, wrestling with my armloads, and opened up the Express Lane–10 items or less–and beckoned me over.

“But I’ve got more than ten items!” I said.

No worries, I say it’s okay, he replied. As I was paying for the baby food, another customer, a young man in surfer baggies and a tank top, got in the checkout lane behind me.

And as I was strapping Son Two into his car seat, out in the parking lot, he was there again. With commentary this time:

I hope you’re not going to teach that cute little baby to have your horrible ethics, he shouted at me from his perch atop a bicycle.

“Excuse me? I don’t understand…”

I saw you. You thought you were so special, going through the Express lane with that many jars, like why should you have to observe the same rules as the rest of us? And he continued on with his attack on my perceived mothering skills as I rushed to finish my baby-securing activities and get the hell out of there. I wish I could say I’d been brave enough to tell him off, or flip him off even, but I was already upset about a completely unrelated issue–biopsy results that had not come in yet, despite my calling my doctor on the hour–and this random attack of nastiness was the last straw. So instead, I just slammed my car door and wept for a little while. (The results came in that afternoon, and I was, and am, fine.)

Anyway, I tell you this story to illustrate the mentality at work with people like Amy Alkon: they have deemed themselves Society’s Judges, and their raison d’etre is to condemn others without the benefit of knowing the full story–or any story at all–behind the actions of those others. Bonus points for extra pettiness; even more bonus points if they can make an exhausted, preoccupied, and uncompromisingly polite mother cry over her steering wheel or stroller.

*I only don’t have a picture of her and her baby in her $315 Maclaren Techno XT Stroller because I don’t think it’s right to take photos of people indoors. Believe me, I was way tempted to get a shot of the cute tot drinking her stolen milk.

My dream du jour: some day, we see a video of two extremely irritable wingnuts going ballistic on each other for some ostensible violation of manners, and it turns out to be Amy “Jokerface” Alkon and James “Love/Hate Relationship With Target” Lileks. And the lucky photographer? Ann “It’s Noon Somewhere” Althouse!

I almost got out of the boat, but the web filter at work was kind enough to stop me. The interesting bit is that the web filter denied me access to the link claiming that I was trying to access a “sex education” site. I think the web filter may need some re-education.

Litbrit – once I was running really late on a schoolday, so I went with the kids to the local bakery to get them some pastries for their breakfast before school. The line was really long, so I asked the guy in front of me if I could cut ahead of him so the kids wouldn’t be late to school.

Anyway, he freaked out and got all shirty about how it was my fault (it was) for being late, not his, and that I was using my kids to get special favors.

Now I get that he perceived I was guilt-tripping to make a concession to let me cut ahead. On the other hand, I asked him politely rather than barging ahead of him (or sighing repeatedly and tapping my feet at the slowness of the line). And he probably thought I did this all the time, which I don’t — it felt shitty enough to make the request the one time.

I’d have been gracious enough to let me cut ahead of him, if our roles had been reversed. But people are wired differently, and sometimes our behavior depends on which side of the bed we woke up on that morning. The asshole in the baggies on the bike may have just been in a bad mood … but he’s still an asshole.

Oh, and of course when he got all pissed about me asking, I dropped the matter and waited behind him in line.

they have deemed themselves Society’s Judges, and their raison d’etre is to condemn others without the benefit of knowing the full story–or any story at all–behind the actions of those others.

Because it makes for cheap entertainment for them when they retell the stories to their friends, none of whom have actually experienced juggling a child and groceries (or a child and Starbucks).

What really disturbs me about Arnold Alkon is that she was published in Psychology Today (which is not a peer-reviewed journal, to be sure, but ought to hold itself to higher standards) AND actually received a positive response from someone who claims to know better in the form of a praising letter in a later issue (the current one, if you feel like gagging).

This is Psychology Today, which one presumes is the bellwether media platform for the popular view of the science of psychology, in other words, promoting hate, “confrontation,” bullying and conflict as a rational way of handling life’s little annoyances.

Lileks sure has fallen off the map, hasn’t he?

But people are wired differently, and sometimes our behavior depends on which side of the bed we woke up on that morning.

Agreed. I’m generally polite and try to let people ahead of me, but there are days when I simply won’t because I’m in a rush myself or I’m just in a mood to get to where I need to be so I can get myself put back together.

I expect that people will think I’m an asshole at those times, and I try to remember that when someone is rude to me. I trust my subconscious to sort out for me when I should demure and when I should assert myself.

D. Aristophanes, yes. People always assume we parents must surely have had children because it makes our life so much easier, don’t they? Parents can pull all kinds of scams–preferential seating on planes (though not so much these days), special bathrooms with pull-down changing tables, why, many restaurants even sell kids’ meals at cheaper prices than adult meals, and they throw in free crayons, to boot!

A big part of it, I think, is less about them being childless than never taking a millisecond to put themselves in another person’s shoes. My grandmother used to say that all the time–Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes–and I often wonder why that isn’t inscribed on the walls of every single classroom in America.

Because empathy for others means imagining what it’s like to be on the receiving end of an attack, whether its a verbal attack on one person, a published attack on a whole class of people, or a missile attack on a nation. When you pause to imagine what it’s like to be that person on the receiving end, you become…forgiving. Less likely to attack in the first place. More open-hearted.

Of course, that requires having a heart in the first place, and far too many people just don’t seem to, a topic for another day (or year).

they throw in free crayons, to boot!

To nutcases like Alkon, these are fine writing instruments, thus worth much money.

Of course, that requires having a heart in the first place, and far too many people just don’t seem to, a topic for another day (or year).

I vote for 2002, but 2001 or 2003 would also be appropriate.

I vote for 2002, but 2001 or 2003 would also be appropriate.

THAT’S IT!

The name for the decade just passed! The Oz Decade!

In 2000, if we only had a brain.
In 2001, if we only had courage.
In 2002, if we only had a heart.
In 2009, if we only had a home.

Follow the Yellowcake Road!

did anybody get out of the boat? I’d read all the comments, but bizzy zombee, yanno, gotta vacuum and clean the fish tank and take the dog to the dog park….

But does she confirm that the EVIL LIBRUL MOM TEACHING THEFTING THIEVERY did not ask, or even pay, for a little bit of milk for her infant?

And, not to pile on AmyAlkon here (ewww) but wouldn’t it be the sign of a GOOD parent to provide for a helpless BABY? Maybe SATAN-MOM couldn’t get home for some time, and little BANKROBBER tyke needed more. Be assured that the ALKON would have ripped the mother a new one also if the infant was crying in hunger.

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

eww. dude, SO over the line.

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

eww. dude, SO over the line.

Jealous on the nom-nomming?

My grandmother used to say that all the time–Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes–and I often wonder why that isn’t inscribed on the walls of every single classroom in America.

When’s the last time you saw an American walk a mile, period?

did anybody get out of the boat?

I posted a comment over there. Fully expect to find my IP posted on her update.

Which is fine. You can’t get past my firewall if I opened a port, and the IP dummies to a proxy in Brooklyn anyway.

Maybe Alkon was pissed that the mom didn’t give her a nice eyeful of lactating boob.

Oh, and of course when he got all pissed about me asking, I dropped the matter and waited behind him in line.

But I bet you CONSIDERED eating his branes.

I jumped out of the boat.

Alkon said that she would have taken a picture of woman, except that taking photos inside is against her rules. Sure, because a woman who sends harassing phone calls to a guy in the middle of the night has “rules.” More likely, she’s gotten in trouble for this before. Businesses generally don’t like crazy people harassing their customers.

In fact, I wonder if Alkon was even there for coffee. I wouldn’t be shocked in the least to find that she hangs around places where people congregate, looking for minor breaches in social etiquette. Perhaps the owners of her local convenience stores, bakeries and restaurants have warned their employees to keep an eye out for the batty redhead with the dagger-like jaw bones.

Maybe Alkon was pissed that the mom didn’t give her a nice eyeful of lactating boob.

She probably would have accused her of having soy milk.

Sadly No Life? Scum?

What a bunch of Poopy-Heads!

Alkon said that she would have taken a picture of woman, except that taking photos inside is against her rules the woman only exists in her mind, like the black people Debbie Schlussel berates in movie theaters.

Having a child of your own can make you a more empathetic and less judgmental person. It’s like taking a mild psychoactive that gives you the “wow, now I see things in a different light and everything’s connected” feeling (although usually without hallucinations). Alkon should admit she knows nothing about this woman and her child, but based on this and her other writings I know she has no empathy for others.

Alkon also has no knowledge about strollers. In this day and age, $315 is on the very low end of expensive strollers. Factor in the fact that you could find it cheaper (Amazon is not always the cheapest site — with two minutes of looking I found the same for $250) and the fact that many people get their strollers as gifts (baby showers, etc.) and Alkon looks even more like the thing she is — an ignorant perpetual outrage machine.

Alkon looks even more like the thing she is — an ignorant perpetual outrage machine.

I’m thinking more of a four letter word ending in u-n-t.

And it ain’t a-u-n-t.

Next up for Amy: Screaming at people who ignore the ‘Customers Only’ sign at chain restaurant bathrooms a gut-shot driveby victim for getting their icky entrails, feces & blood all over her hawt new car & her driveway.

In fact, I wonder if Alkon was even there for coffee. I wouldn’t be shocked in the least to find that she hangs around places where people congregate, looking for minor breaches in social etiquette. Perhaps the owners of her local convenience stores, bakeries and restaurants have warned their employees to keep an eye out for the batty redhead with the dagger-like jaw bones.

Her motives are transparent – keep the outrage up, keep her name in the news, sell more books. In another age, she would just be another one of those yentas who run around minding everybody else’s business.

So I’m over at the Chocklit Shoppe and I see this guy with kinda weird carroty hair that’s been whacked with a waffle iron. He’s got this curvy blonde with him who’s really hot, but the skinflint only buys ONE FUCKING SODA. The blonde goes to the straw dispenser and takes TWO STRAWS, and then they both start making googly eyes and sipping the soda. I can see that Pop is steamed.

I head over to ’em, wind up and BAM the blonde is out like a light and on the floor. Cheapskate stands up for some action but I hold out a hand and I tell him “Buddy, your girl did not pay for that straw.” He says “Holy shit I told her to pay for that! I’m going out with the rich one tonight so fuck this bullshit.” And we laugh.

If the milk Mom did this every day, and didn’t tip worth a damn I’d say she was rude. Or if she could easily afford to buy milk there but was too cheap. But taking a little milk one time to feed an hungry baby? That’s a problem? Only for someone with no compassion and no sense of perspective. Oops, just described pretty much every winger…

BTW, see Dean Dad’s post from Thursday on “The Moral Underground”, people bending the rules to aid someone in need.

http://suburbdad.blogspot.com/

I’m thinking more of a four letter word ending in u-n-t.

Lacks the depth, the charm, and the warmth.

A couple of weekends ago, I went to a fairly trendy place for breakfast. There were two registers at either end of maybe a 15′ counter. One had 5 people in line. The other had one, who was just paying. I hesitate for maybe 5 seconds, and walk towards the open one.

An older woman, third in line at the other register says with total exasperation, “Please, could you let me in front of you? I’ve been waiting 20 minutes.” I just smiled and waved her over. She was so relieved, so grateful. It slowed our day down 2 minutes at most.

I can only imagine the scene if that woman had asked Ms (?) Alkon for for a bit of kindness.

I can only imagine the scene if that woman had asked Ms (?) Alkon for for a bit of kindness.

“You’ve got a walker, gramma…USE IT!”

If the milk Mom did this every day, and didn’t tip worth a damn I’d say she was rude

This is how I see it, too. If she’s getting the baby’s 250mL of milk for free from Starbuck’s every morning, well that doesn’t seem right. But Alkon’s action still isn’t right. At most her obligation would be to quietly inform the barrista that somebody seemed to be stealing milk and let Starbuck’s handle it. It is, after all, entirely possible that Starbuck’s has a policy of letting young mothers take a little milk for baby–good way to keep mom coming around.

It’s worse than yelling because the person in front of you took nine items through the eight item line; arguably, that guy cost you a few milliseconds out of your day. (Not directed at litbrit, your stalker was just a dick.) But this costs Alkon nothing. If she were here, she’d stomp up and down about how it means Starbuck’s has to increase their prices to absorb the loss, but really, if mothers stealing milk was affecting Starbuck’s bottom line, it would be behind the counter with the barrista, not across the way.

And what the hell does the price of the stroller have to do with the case? Does she think the woman should have tried to sell the baby’s stroller to a passerby for a few bucks so she could afford milk? Or maybe she’s just trying to rile up a little anti-rich-folks sentiment among her judgemental readers? I report, you decide.

BTW this:

“Pleased to meet you ma’am. The name’s Lin Yang. Lin Yang Starbuck.”

is awesome.

Lacks the depth, the charm, and the warmth.

I am so stealing that.

Theft is a CRIME, Mr. Vigilante.

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

He probably wants blood. Try cutting a bit.

promoting hate, “confrontation,” bullying and conflict as a rational way of handling life’s little annoyances fostering courtesy.

A hateful, confrontational, bullying, conflict-ridden society is a polite society.

A hateful, confrontational, bullying, conflict-ridden society is a polite society.

Only on the Klingon home world.

As someone who worked at Starbucks for seven years, I say meh.

I never got my heart rate up about this kind of thing because I figure at least these people are stealing from evil corporate chains and not local shops. Big companies save money on economy of scale, but lose money on employees who can’t be asked to give a shit whether people steal. Even more so, on employees who steal – and I mean milk by the gallon.

Now someone like Amy I would have thrown out immediately, because we should not have to listen to people screaming at each other. Please, be civil.

Arnold Alkon could be the only person on the planet who could make me feel sympathy for Starbucks.

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

He probably wants blood. Try cutting a bit.

I met Thorgil, I worked with Thorgil, N__B is no Thorgil.

“PS – Have you noticed that Amy Alkon only seems to show up women.”

Amy never tells off guys…because she’s a MAN, man!

Cid keeps spitting out my nipple, so no milk for him.

He probably wants blood. Try cutting a bit.

Pfft, MEN. If you really want it to stay in there, try honey, frosting, or whipped cream. Also, TAKE PICTURES.

hey, neat, “momof4” is disagreeing with Amy.

Wow – that woman is INSANE. I posted to correct someone’s version of the Tarika dust-up (he conveniently left out the part where Amy called Tarika’s kids a “litter”), and not only was the comment gone a minute later, she’s blocked my IP.

Oh, how I quiver in fear of the great Hand of Alkon, deleting posts for no other reason than that they make her look bad….

What a bitchy, petty, snooty, dysfunctional bitch.

Be assured that the ALKON would have ripped the mother a new one also if the infant was crying in hunger.

Yeah, either it would be “Why didn’t Child Protection Services take the baby away from the abusive mom starving her,” or — much more likely — “How dare moms bring their screaming brats into a public place where they annoy me with their noise?”

All I can say is $325 is not much for a stroller. Clearly Ms. Alkon is utterly clueless.

Of course, this is WarriorBabyGirl’s stroller. In Turquoise.

And, around here, taking pictures of other people’s underage kids can get you in trouble.

“Why are you stealing the food? It’s free.”
“If it’s free, then I ain’t stealin’ it.”
Ratso Rizzo, Midnight Cowboy

Whenever I order any fast food I ask for extra salt, pepper, and ketchup packs so I can have a stash at work. Mayo, mustard, relish, jelly, half and half, syrup, straws and napkins are almost nice.

If I had a baby I’d be willing to puree the lot and share. It’s not like Ms. Alkon could actually sneek up on anybody unless blending into carnival and circus backgrounds.

A woman that berates a mother for taking a little milk for her child at Starbucks, and then blogs about it calls us “Sadly No life?”

So I’m over at the Chocklit Shoppe and I see this guy with kinda weird carroty hair that’s been whacked with a waffle iron. He’s got this curvy blonde with him who’s really hot, but the skinflint only buys ONE FUCKING SODA. The blonde goes to the straw dispenser and takes TWO STRAWS, and then they both start making googly eyes and sipping the soda. I can see that Pop is steamed.

This was damn good. Work in Moose next time.

Amy’s collecting research for her new book: I Hate People Who Aren’t Amy Alkon

A woman that berates a mother for taking a little milk for her child at Starbucks, and then blogs about it and does the same sort of thing almost every freaking day about transgressions just as petty and just as much none of her fucking business calls us “Sadly No life?”

Seriously.

I hate to be a spoilsport but I want to request that we ditch this “Arnold” thing. Amy Alkon dresses like a drag queen, sure, but she doesn’t look like a transsexual — and the perceived trans-bashing is only going to make us look like a bunch of assholes, dig?

And anyway, drag queens have clever or at least funny pun names, like Anita Cocktail and Sofanda Cox, not Arnold.

Furthermore, it distracts from the really funny things about her, like her hilariously Freudian size obsession, viz. “tiny thugs”, “tiny turds”, and her book cover, which all but says “I eat tiny turds like you for breakfast”, like someone who has never seen Happy Gilmore setting herself up for an easy punchline.

Those Germans have a word for everything:

Unlike a normal person, who would slink away in shame as the initial accusations are discredited, a victim bully lacks either guilt or shame, honestly believing that s/he has been so egregiously wronged in some cosmic way that anything s/he does or says is justified in the larger scheme of things. So when the initial accusations are dismissed, the victim bully’s first move is a sort of double-or-nothing, raising the absurdity and the stakes even more.

actor 212–I have it on excellent authority that PSYCHOLOGY TODAY is not exactly held in high esteem by psychologists. They regard it as the USA TODAY or PEOPLE magazine of their field–cheesy pop psychology at best.

“Having a child of your own can make you a more empathetic and less judgmental person.”

…or it can make you even more selfish and “Me and Mine.” Some of the most self-centered people I’ve ever seen are parents who use their kids as an excuse to stomp all over everyone else’s rights, so can we please not drag up the “childless = selfish” crap again?

Berating people for not acting exactly the way she thinks they should is Amy’s job, in a sense. In another, more accurate sense, writing about berating people for not acting exactly the way she thinks they should is her job. So while I may be demonstrating my lack of a life by posting a couple of pseudonymous comments on her blog, she is being a productive person by responding in outrage to those comments.

I’m kind of being serious here. It’s weird.