Listomania!

John Hawkins

John Hawkins, Townhall.com:
5 Reasons Obama’s Election Is Bad For Race Relations

  • The election of President Barack Obama sends a clear message that racism will no longer be tolerated as an excuse by black people for their personal failures nor as a weapon against white people, some of whom voted for an unqualified black candidate but have already grown tired of the constant reminders about his skin color.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Mike Barone, He Has A Way, With B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Michael Barone, syndicated column1:
Strangers to Dissent, Liberals Try to Stifle It

  • Since nobody ever disagrees with them, liberals try to stifle dissent by refusing to pipe down and do what we say — defying, for instance, a clear demand that all media assist in exposing a dissident with communist and 9/11-truther sympathies.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Notes:

1 Apropos the near-total dominance of liberal opinion in American life, gaze if you would on this algal bloom of right-wing columnists (including such doyens of the examined life as Ben Shapiro and Chuck Norris, and Thomas Sowell in English, sure, but did you realize he was available in Spanish?), and note that of the few columnists remaining, Benazir Bhutto and Molly Ivins are hampered from writing by being not alive, while Robert Scheer and Mark Shields are hampered, careerwise, in the sense of being consigned to a bin such as the kind that harbors gravy-stained britches and whiffy socks.

 

Even Worse Than The Death Panels

riehl_franklin
ABOVE: Dan Riehl, c. 1785, Oil on canvas
by Joseph Siffred Duplessis

Shorter Dan Riehl, Poor Dan Riehl’s Almanack
Ack! World Car Day

  • Obama is going to take away everyone’s car. This means that old people won’t be able to buy groceries anymore and will all starve to death.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

‘No Underlying Crime’ Comes Back In The Mail


Above: Unfairica’s pout-rage

Patrick Courrielche, Big Hollywood:
EXPLOSIVE NEW AUDIO Reveals White House Using NEA to Push Partisan Agenda

  • This appearance of impropriety suggests not only an unequal bias against right-wing art, but also a Nazi enslavement plot. The only action that can restore the NEA’s credibility is to dance! [bang] Haw-haw-haw. Dance! [bang] Yeee-hoo, I say, Get down! [bang] Boogie-oogie-oogie! [bang]…

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Word Corner: ‘Investigatainment.’
 

Shorter Ross Douthat

The Self-Correcting Presidency

  • Yeah, OK, so Bush fucked up everything he touched, but at least he had the good sense to scramble around at the very last minute while spending lots of lives and money to avert a complete zombies-roaming-the-streets type of disaster. In conclusion, Bush was a good president.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Oh No He Di’int

dan_aristoblatt2

ABOVE: Marquis B. Daniel Blatteau de Sebranler-
sur-Seine


Oh yes he di’id. B. Daniel Blatt, an allegedly* “Gay Patriot,” gets all weepy about the passing of Irving Kristol:

One of the truly great thinkers of the right, Irving Kristol, died in Washington at the age of 89. Known as the “godfather” of neo-conservatism, his ideas influenced many on the right, including yours truly.

Had more people understood his ideas, neo-conservatism would be in better repute.

Perhaps Daniel was thinking of another Irving Kristol. Surely he wasn’t eulogizing the guy that said that the AIDS virus was created by teh gay buttsecks. Or the one who said “I believe it is the responsibility of homosexuals themselves to keep their sexual life as private as possible.” Nor could he have possibly meant the once-Democrat who became a Republican because McGovern loved gays more than war. And certainly not the same Irving Kristol who said this:

[T]hose local communities that want to restrict public homosexuality or the advocacy of homosexuality should in my opinion be free to do so. I don’t think the advocacy of homosexuality really falls under the First Amendment any more than the advocacy or publication of pornography does. The First Amendment was intended to apply to political speech, not to all forms of “expression,” as some people now seem to think.

Of course, there is one thing you can say about Irving Kristol. At least he knew his own self interest better than our allegedly gay patriot friend. Kristol was too smart to pine for Der Führer or argue the merits of the Spanish Inquisition.

More oh-no-he-di’int-fun: One of Dan’s latest posts is titled “Not Proud to be Gay,” which is, of course, a real shocker.


*We say allegedly because it seems likely that the last time Dan had sex, and perhaps the only time Dan had sex, was about a decade ago when he put on a disguise, snuck into a West Hollywood video store, rented “Gays of Thunder” and took it home for a quick wanking session.
 

If This One Doesn’t Work, They’ll Try Another


Above: Lips on the prize

Charles Lipson, The Chicago Tribune:
Independent prosecutor for ACORN

  • Oh boy oh boy it’s Whitewater oh boy let’s go fishing Woo! heh-heh erhm, independent prosecutors should not be appointed lightly, but possible criminal suspicions against Acorn might lead to the appearance of White House impropriety, causing, uh, suspicion.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Note: ‘Breitwater.’

 

l’Art Pour le Blart

Ach, I guess we shouldn’t let this one get too stale. Can’t finish everything to a high degree of doneness.

Ed Morrissey, HotAir:
Picture of the day

I got this earlier tonight from Hot Air reader Dave T in Los Angeles, who swears he saw this across the street from CBS Studios in West Hollywood.  He sent it from his iPhone, with this note:

I’m always surprised to see conservative guerilla art in LA. But considering it’s only been a week since O’Keefe and Giles’ first ACORN tape was released, seeing this was downright shocking.

If this is on the level, it’s certainly positioned for maximum effect:

It’s not that it’s difficult to fool Special Ed. In fact he’s learned to fool himself, to foolsturbate, since entering Michelle Malkin’s employ and therefore her clutches, and finding himself required to spin the balls and honk the horns like the other seals there.1

But it’s interesting, given the suspicion raised at Eastsider LA that the anti-Acorn stencilings are just Fairey being airy, that is to say artsturbating, to see that Hot Air reader Dave T believed implicitly that they were markings of his own tribe,2 yet further, that he found them “shocking.” It’s, uh, like, a verbatim Acorn logo with an ironic label underneath. If this is shocking, then what is it when you’re chased up the basement stairs by skeletons on pogo sticks?

No, but being a wingnut, Dave T would naturally find it difficult to say, “I haven’t seen anything like this before, and don’t know where it came from.” Because as conservatives always remind liberals, they deal in ‘facts’ (i.e. certainties), while we are all about ‘feelings’ and ‘relativism’ (i.e., the sense of imperfect knowledge and unsettled fate that divides us from the Medieval — meaning the wingnut and his theological reasoning and neo-feudalist social ideals — and that makes the ancient Greeks seem the most, among historical kladoi,3 like people we’d enjoy hanging out with).

Instead, he had to wedge in an imaginary continuum of “conservative guerilla art” that he thinks must exist and therefore does, although he would truthfully be surprised to see some, and so is surprised whenever he does see some of it, every single time, for instance here with this super-surprising anti-Acorn stencil.

It’s not that conservative guerilla art is unknown. It’s that Hot Air reader Dave T seems like that guy.

On the level or not, it made my evening.

Update: Via Midas in the comments, Media Bistro reports it’s legit — and it’s gone viral in LA:

The link goes to a Mediabistro Fishbowl LA report on the same Eastsider LA piece, and does not report:

1) That it is legit,
2) That it has ‘gone viral’ in LA.

Ah well. You get the feeling that the guys at HotAir are on a bit of a treadmill, in terms of Malkin yelling at them for not meeting quota.

Let’s go to Free Republic and see what the even-slightly-more-crazies are saying:
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Also, Why Can Boehlert Project My Own Errors Onto Him While Beck Only Has A Cable Show?


Above: Allahpundit

Allahpundit, HotAir:
Media Matters: This right-wing frenzy is reminiscent of Dallas 1963

  • Dishonest or crazy Eric Boehlert squeals up a typical liberal liephoon that gapes brazenly past the leftist Lee Harvey Oswald, revealing Boehlert’s puny sneak-plot to promulgate the lib-lefteral ‘extremist’ anti-patriot blood smear libel — SILENCE, YOU FOOL! [makes crazy-person sign with rotating finger] Although for the record, I think Glenn Beck should tone down his apocalyptic murder siren.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Negroes: Can’t Live With Them And Can’t Deport Them

brent_bozell_old_master

Brent Vanderboozell III, News Blusters
Outbursts and Punishment

  • Just to prove that I’m not racist and never have been racist, let me excuse the outburst of a white gentlemen from South Carolina towards a black man by comparing it to the infinitely worse behavior of a foul-mouthed Negress and a wild-eyed Negro rapper towards two different white people.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™