Attend the Tale of Seavey, Todd

The Demon Blogger of Fleet Street

His skin was pale and his eye was odd . . .

Really. Particularly when he showed up in the comments for our post on his “review” of Jonah the Whale’s minimum opus Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to Cocker Spaniel Rescue Leagues.

Let’s see what he had to say:

You do raise a few interesting philosophical questions, SN, such as, for instance, whether claiming that ACSH says trans fat [sic] cure [sic] cancer constitutes libel on your part, given that you’re not that funny, undermining your ability to claim “parody” or “comedy” as a defense for such a false statement.*

Ladies, Todd is not only a catch but he’s an amateur lawyer too, apparently learning everything he knows about the law from sitting around watching “Boston Legal” in his underpants. No, of course, the American Council of Wingnut Science and Industry Health didn’t say that trans fats cure cancer, but it has been in the forefront of whack-a-doodle “think” tanks, ignoring this evidence about trans fats and claiming that trans fats aren’t such a big deal. This probably wasn’t the best battleground for you to pick, Todd.

I don’t [sic] whether progressives located in Germany have been influenced by fascist traditions, but clearly they’re keeping the proud tradition of German comedy alive and well.

Well, I knew something felt funny this morning when I awoke from anxious dreams. I had been turned into a monstrous German.

I expect you will respond with more “comedy,” such as calling me a jerk or something, but I’m done with this particular dialogue, so do what you feel politics and comedy demand of you. Try not to let it angry up the blood too much. And read some history about Democratic presidents in wartime if you get bored.

Really, Todd we don’t have to call you anything. You do the work for us. In your case, as they say, the comedy just writes itself.

And the winner of our “Win a Date with Todd Seavey” contest is . . . <drum roll> . . . Todd! No, just kidding . . . it’s . . . <another drum roll> . . . Jennifer!


* Gavin adds:

2007newblog2.jpg


UPDATE: Ya know, when Todd said in his original comment “I’m done with this particular dialogue,” he wasn’t telling the truth. He’s baaaack.

And he’s still fussing about his salary being understated, but won’t tell us what it is. Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166, not a big difference from the $51,224 salary that Sourcewatch listed and which was based on the 2003 IRS 990. Now if Todd wants to reveal his salary rather than complaining that publicly-available figures are wrong, well, we are all ears.

UPDATE 2:
Somebody said Todd needed a sammich. I thought something else might be appropriate in the place of the sammich.

 

Comments: 167

 
 
 

Todd wins! Comedy gold!

 
 

Poor Jennifer. As a consolation prize, we can send you a box of Kleenex for those long, inevitable nights of crying on the other side of the bed.

 
 

I’m trying to figure out what the hell he’s doing in the photo, what with the “V” mask and a big red “D” scotch-taped to his left tit. (The guy with the mask *and* sunglasses on his right is a hoot too.) Was this some kind of wingnut “protest” street theatre, to imply that Democrats “(“D”) are all really revolutionary anarchists with sharp knives who talk like Hugo Weaving?

“Todd Seavey shouldn’t be afraid of the government, the government should be afraid of Todd Seavey!”

Be afraid. Be very afraid…

 
 

Joe Max, here’s the caption to the photo:

Todd Seavey leads a small band of anarchists on a New York City sidewalk last month in criticizing another anarchist group there to protest the film “V for Vendetta.”

And that’s not more S,N! comedy. It is the actual caption. See for yourself here.

 
 

How can someone be an “anarchist” when they are so clearly pro-establishment? Is that like one of those “Compassionate Conservative” or “Republican Rebellion” type oxymorons?

 
Smiling Mortician
 

I clicked through and read Todd’s whole comment on the dead thread. Anybody know how to clean spittle from the inside of a monitor?

 
 

He actually protested for V for Vendetta? Holy shit, I love that movie. I feel violated.
This makes no sense at all.

 
 

Why do they always make some crack about your being “German based”? Is calling you a German really the best putdown they can come up with? And is that picture photoshopped? Cuz I really want the heck that’s about.

 
 

He actually protested for V for Vendetta? Holy shit, I love that movie. I feel violated.

I was going to say the same thing. I love the movie, even though the book was far superior. Maybe Seavey sees the story of killing all the people different from him as a kind of manual, with pretty pictures.

I get the impression from the article that Seavey’s group were protesting the people who were complaining that the movie was too watered down. The point that the movie was too watered down is a worthwhile complaint, although I never felt so strongly about it as to take to the streets in complaint.

 
 

How can someone be an “anarchist” when they are so clearly pro-establishment?

The reporter seems to have been confused. I think Seavey believes in libertarianism, anarchism’s wimpified right-wing mutation.

 
 

It still doesn’t make much sense (Seavey’s “protest”, not the film.) I loved the graphic novel, but the film isn’t all that bad. Most of what it changed was a matter of updating the narrative (we aren’t dealing with Thatcher’s England anymore) and cutting out the various sub-plots, which would have meant making a four hour film out of it.

But someone explain the “D” on his chest! I’m going to lay awake at night trying to puzzle it out… “Is it ‘D’ for ‘dumbass’? ‘Douchebag’? ‘Dunderhead’? Come back and explain yourself, Todd!

 
 

I’m not in the least bit surprised that Todd came over here just to afflict us with a typo-filled whine about how wrong (and unfunny) we are. That reaction is completely in keeping with the flair for the dramatic he demonstrated in his personal ad.

 
 

Good job Todd, don’t defend your ‘review’…we wouldn’t be expecting that, and you know how we hate surprises.

 
 

Didja read that entire personal, the Ten Requirements for Dating, or whatever it’s called? Me, neither. I tried to, though. I want partial credit.

That’s some weapons-grade narcissism. I read the masters of self-regarding obliviousness–Swank, Noonan, etc.–and I think, Gentlemen, we are confronting a kind of evil beyond the scope of anything we have hitherto been accustomed to calling “human.”

But this…

 
 

He’s got a “V” mask, and a “D” on his chest. Put two and two together folks: he’s “VD” (venereal disease).

 
 

It’s no wonder this guy showed up fluffing Chunky. I don’t even understand what it is they’re claiming anymore. Liberal fascists, organized conservative anarchists, and what about the Germans? Not funny Nazi liberal socialist Nazis? And who is V? Are we V? Is Todd V? And who gets to be Natalie Portman? Jennifer?

 
 

This “amateur lawyer” does seem to have inspired a clarification posting.

Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, since you can hardly argue that your erroneous post was done without malice.

We can keep this up all week in dribs and drabs or talk about Jonah or explore so many different avenues — or, as with the perplexed reactions to the anarchist protest I led, you could just admit that _maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity_.

Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…

 
 

Gavin: that was some of teh best smug, self-promoting, off-handed narcissism i have seen: no words needed, just that cute lil’ gif. thank you, it was worth voting just for y’all to be able to do that. keep the lulz coming…

 
 

Oh…my…God. I just found a break-up letter written, perhaps, by the very same Todd that we all know and love.

BEHOLD!

Now that I’m using my own subjective interpretative schema, I also see you better. It seemed a few times, you were looking to me for help and yet by being so seduced myself, I was unable to give it. You are manipulative, but also very sensitive in a certain way even though you act cold….

Due to the fact that a sort of sickness in you caused me to grow sick with identification over the summer and sick with its dissolution into the fall, there is a very real sense in which we haven’t met yet apart from a date or two. You likely have a horribly fragmented image of of the real me and I don’t blame you if you soon grew tired of my company due the effects of identification, but what you saw as weakness is now strength. You see me as doting for additional manipulation, when really now I see the manipulation clearly enough to call you on it and because I am no longer identified it cannot cause me pain or pleasure.

 
 

_maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity_.

“We are the SN collective-entity. We will add your political and technological distinctiveness to your own. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

 
 

Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, since you can hardly argue that your erroneous post was done without malice.

I was wondering when this would come up. Thank you for meeting my expectations so exactly, Todd!

 
 

Also, is Seavey saying he collects even more in wingnut welfare? God, I wish I would have spent less time studying and more time following more conservative pursuits–like burning homeless people or trolling for blowjobs in Minneapolis airport restrooms.

Or, I could just burn homeless people in airport restrooms. Kill two birds with one stone.

 
 

Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, [….] Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…

Fucking hilarious! Blow the whistle, he comes running.

 
 

Pretty sure ‘rational’ wasn’t the word you were looking for. But what do I know, I’m just a hippy liberal environmentalist educated jew fascist.

 
 

The fact is Todd is pretty dreamy.

 
 

…and if you want us to bow down to your exhorbitant while woefully underserved salary…just post it. It won’t make us any dumber or you any smarter.

 
 

you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary,

So Seavey takes even more wingnut welfare for being a subpar jackass? Jesus Christ in a sidecar, I am in the wrong field! I would gladly write his sort of crap for a fraction of the salary.

 
 

Sounds like someones got an inferiority complex about his salary.
Say doesn’t that pose deserve a sandwich?

 
 

For the love of Baal, Todd insists on having his head firmly stuck up his ass! He joins us again! He beckons us to LISTEN to his website. Hermano, your prose drips with the mediocre ambitions of a stunted adolescence, and the intellectual heft of a freshman teacher’s pet. Your collection of unispiring trite banalities is an offense to rational thought itself. As to why they pay your salary, I can only guess your gasbag rantings make imbeciles like Jonah look absolutely brilliant by comparison.

 
 

Todd, I need to know, what is with the underscores? And about the protest, we’re commenting on it precisely because we have no information. We’re specualting here. You might be so kind as to explain it (with or without the underscores is fine). Less whining though. I prefer shochu or scotch.

 
 

Todd, I need to know, what is with the underscores?

He’s under the misconception that this is email or USENET and he’s using them to indicate emphasis.

 
 

Thank you Djur. I did not know underscores worked that way.

 
 

I _know_ the sadly collective feel a boost of _ego_ because I deen to grase your very very unfuny cite with my intellectuallizations. Peehaps I will choice to share moar of _my_ magistarial insites with you who are _clearly_ my mentel and financeal inferiors.

 
 

Todd, I need to know, what is with the underscores?

It’s like Mad-Lib, he wants you to fill in the blanks with whatever adjective, noun, or verb you find appropriate. To wit:

you could just admit that I will predictably say maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity precisely because you don’t know what you’re talking about, because my life is filled with many precious things, sense not being one of them.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Better the underscores than the scare quotes he uses in his dating requirements — remember his rant about women who should express their angst “in words”?

Hey Todd, here’s a belated Christmas gift for you. Knock yourself out.

 
 

Little Toddkins seems very, very concerned about what people think about him. For some reason, I picture him sitting outside CBGBs, playing “Stairway to Heaven” and “Eye of the Tiger” on his state-of-the-art four-string ukelele, and getting mad that all the punks aren’t giving him mad props for his skillz.

 
 

Ummm, Todd?
This isn’t a german blog. You’re working at the level of Debbie Schlussel. The guy who started this blog now lives in Germany. The rest of the people who post here live in the US.
I think that, as you are neither funny nor informative, this assertion on your part constitutes libel, and we’re gonna collectively sue yer ass for every cent of wingnut welfare you proudly make.

 
 

Spam blocker ate my comment. Wahhhhhh. That’ll learn me for not being logged in.

 
 

Oh come on Todd. You can do better than this. At this point you just sound like some angry World of Warcraft player, whining on the messageboards about how a Warlock beat you in a duel, and how the class is totally overpowered, and how you are going to quit this very instant if a dev doesn’t respond to your post. And when anyone tells you to get a life and stop worrying about little things, you even bring up how rich you are in the real world, and not some cheeto-covered loser in your mom’s basement.

My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.

 
 

My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.

You called that one. “Purpelzzz pleeaz! I can rollz need!!”

 
 

He may be a Night Elf Hunter. But he wants everyone to believe he’s a Night Elf Mohawk.

 
 

“My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.”

If he leaves, can I have his stuffs?

 
 

Todd Seavey wrote:

We can keep this up all week in dribs and drabs or talk about Jonah or explore so many different avenues… Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…

Darn. I really yearned to know the shocking details of the never-before-revealed secret fascist monkey love between FDR and Hitler, a tragic wartime romance doomed to end in heartbreak and tears. Or was it a secret leftist love? It’s hard to keep this shit straight.

But I’ll never know. All the psychedelic left-wing craziness coursing through my brain has left me so totally irrational that I’m unable to focus enough to click on your link.

 
 

And who gets to be Natalie Portman? Jennifer?

She doesn’t have to shave her head, though.

Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…

Yay! A website run by someone who praises Jonah Goldberg’s “Liberal Fascism” book! Open wide, favorites folder!

 
 

Hillary Rodham Clinton is so scary, so totalitarian yet so sneaky, the Right can’t stand it!

While my own philosophy is a sort of “conservatism for punks,” friendly to both the aesthetically radical and fiscally conservative, I am under no illusions that most rock songs are conservative. I would not even claim that “Right Here, Right Now” is conservative in any sense other than being anti-Communist — but anti-Communist it is. Why, then, should it be a campaign song for America’s latter-day version of a Fabian socialist, Hillary Clinton? A century ago, the Fabian Society — including such prestigious but mind-bogglingly arrogant writers as Bernard Shaw and H. G. Wells — encouraged the gradual adoption of socialism to avoid spooking the masses, and surely Hillary’s talk-like-a-centrist / seize-control-of-a-seventh-of-the-economy agenda is the contemporary analogue. This is creeping bureaucratic control, not rock’n’roll rebellion.

T. Seavey, “Hillary Finds Jesus (Jones): The Right Simply Cannot Stand for This Appropriation.” _National Review Onine_, February 5, 2007

 
 

I can be Natalie Portman. I have even shaved my head. Not sure if I like being kidnapped by a crazed anarchist and tortured, though. How lucrative is the benefits package?

 
 

Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb.

“Democratic presidents in wartime..” Uh, like FDR?

 
Worst. President. Ever.
 

If socialism and fascism seem like “opposites” now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the left to claim for decades that they are.

And if ‘shit’ and ‘shinola’ seem like “opposites” now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the left to claim for decades that they are.

 
 

Why have neither of my comments to this thread shown up?
Kick the damn spam filter.

 
 

We are not “SN-collective-entity”.

We are Devo.

 
 

If “liberalism” and “faith” seem like opposites now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the right to claim for decades that they are.

Mad-libs are fun!

 
 

I wanna comment, dammit.
let me in

 
a certain christmas elf
 

I can uze this name to comment?
Why the filter hates me?

 
 

Counterprotesting Alan Moore fanboys?

This guy is just a reflexive Stalker, ain’t he?

 
 

Todd Seavey laments:

“Why do they hate us”

Grab a beer, Todd, have a seat…this is going to take awhile.

 
 

If freedom and slavery seem like opposites, it’s only….

This is just too sad to be real.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

“Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb.”

The poor soul is probably trying to be quasi-folksy, because “angry up the blood” is something that somebody’s old Southern grandmother would say… Bless his heart.

 
 

Hooray for Jennifer!

Congrats, he’s ALL YOURS!one11!!

 
 

What does he think we’ll find out about Democratic presidents in wartime? That they did OK?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

“Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb”

The poor soul is probably just trying to be quasi-folksy. “Angry up the blood” is something that somebody’s Southern grandmother might say. Bless his heart…

 
 

The “crap e-mail from a dude” excerpted above couldn’t be Todd’s. Wrong style, for one thing (too much passive-aggressive cringing and creepy sociopathic subtext; not enough bald egomania). Also, badly written as that missive is, it’s not as bad as what Mr. Seavey’s sixth-grade vocabulary level permits. Plus, to have written a “breakup letter” means one would have had someone with whom to break up in the first place, so.

 
 

That photo cries out for a sammich.

 
 

Woah! Doesn’t it look like Bush standing on S’s left?

 
 

You called that one. “Purpelzzz pleeaz! I can rollz need!!”

Now if only we could get more Pew Pew out of him, and less QQ 🙂

 
 

Fozzetti said,

December 26, 2007 at 21:16

That photo cries out for a sammich.

Seconded.

 
 

Hey! Ladies! If you’ve been looking for a simpering imperious shriveled elf-man who’s not afraid to toady to the monied elite, all I can say is “Jackpot”!

 
 

Seavey is still done with this particular dialogue.

This week, hundreds of millions celebrated the birth of “the Prince of Peace,” while dozens vented their half-witted hatred against me on a leftist “comedy” site and in Responses to my obsolete Personal Ad and to my review of Jonah Goldberg’s new book (in which Fight Club was mentioned, as it happens). Why do they hate us? Essentially because I noted that Mussolini was a socialist rather than a conservative — which, coincidentally, was one of the main points of a prior talk by Malice (who has also regaled Lolita Bar audiences with stories of his “urban exploration” experiences and of having his life story turned into a comic book by Harvey Pekar).

 
 

What does he think we’ll find out about Democratic presidents in wartime? That they did OK?

No no no. We’ll find out that late at night when everyone was asleep the Democratic Presidents In Wartime put on tight-fitting latex fascist uniforms, snuck outside, and cavorted in the moonlight. Not many people know this, but the truth must be revealed if a free America is to survive.

 
 

Following Todd’s advice,I steeled myself and went to his website for an explanation his “anti-anti-V” protest, to no avail. There is a lot of fanboy stuff about comic books (including a post about a guy in a Captain America costume stuffing a burrito in his pants and harassing women) and how much he loves the man-scent of Charlton Heston in “Omega Man”, but no “V” explanations, other than he lieks to go to movie premieres wearing a “V” mask. I suppose because the chicks dig it.

OK, Todd, I want my ten minutes back.

 
 

And he’s still fussing about his salary being understated, but won’t tell us what it is. Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166, not a big difference from the $51,224 salary that Sourcewatch listed and which was based on the 2003 IRS 990. Now if Todd wants to reveal his salary rather than complaining that publicly-available figures are wrong, well, we are all ears.

And if he made significantly more than what’s on public record, I’m sure the IRS would really like to know about it. 😉

 
 

Ooooh, he makes about median income! How nice for him…assuming he has a wife…errr, you are straight, right Seepy?…and two kids…errrr, you are straight, right, Seepy?

Hard to tell from those photos….

 
Tim (the other one)
 

heh…. Todd Sceevy… heh heh……

Happy Boxing Day “collective S/N entity” eleventyfinity.

 
 

Question?

Not sure if I like being kidnapped by a crazed anarchist and tortured, though. How lucrative is the benefits package?

Answer!

Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166

 
 

(W)hen everyone was asleep the Democratic Presidents In Wartime put on tight-fitting latex fascist uniforms, snuck outside, and cavorted in the moonlight.

That would have been a good trick for Roosevelt.

 
 

I suppose he’s hinting at the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII, a horrible thing NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT BUT HIM!

 
 

(W)hen everyone was asleep the Democratic Presidents In Wartime put on tight-fitting latex fascist uniforms, snuck outside, and cavorted in the moonlight.
—————————————-
That would have been a good trick for Roosevelt.

FDR’s profound faith in fascism enabled him to overcome his infirmities.

 
 

UPDATE: Ya know, when Todd said in his original comment “I’m done with this particular dialogue,” he wasn’t telling the truth. He’s baaaack.

Actually, the second I saw where he’d said “I’m done with this particular dialogue,” I knew he’d be back, because he is of the school of thought that holds that whoever makes the last comment wins the argument, no matter what.

And he’s still fussing about his salary being understated, but won’t tell us what it is. Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166, not a big difference from the $51,224 salary that Sourcewatch listed and which was based on the 2003 IRS 990. Now if Todd wants to reveal his salary rather than complaining that publicly-available figures are wrong, well, we are all ears.

Now if anything could keep him away, it would be having this shoved in his face each time he showed up.

 
 

An editor who publishes “major tomes” only makes $56,000?

Dude, either you’re an idiot or a fucking idiot. Which is it?

 
 

BTW, Jennifer, condolences. I sincerely hope that the gnawing off a limb can be avoided.

 
 

Poor Jennifer! Oh well, better her than me.

And I just want to express outrage that that fucking wanker is earning more money than I am! And I do good things for sick people in health care!

How does this kind of shit happen? How?!?!?!?

 
 

How, Doodle Bean?

We’ve got one messed up country, that’s how.

 
 

He’s done because he doesn’t want anyone going thru his archives.
Doesn’t want anyone reading his ‘sugar is a chemical and so are sugar substitutes – so there can’t be anything wrong with them’. Doesn’t want us to talk about how the ‘high tech geeks’ will be way more powerful than the ‘cave-dwelling terrorists’…a veritable mismatch there. Doesn’t want us to know that only he knows the causes of Parkinson’s disease and Michael J. Fox’s doctor is a quack – but he makes a point to slam Fox in the title of that particular piece. Doesn’t want us to figure out that it’s the nonsense he’s been spewing for years that leads people like Jonah to write incredibily stupid shit.

Yah, Todd is the rational one, but at least he makes good money at it.

 
 

The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:

1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

 
 

And if there was ever a reason to delete something completely off the internet tubes, I’d have picked this if I was Todd:

Toms River Lament
By Todd Seavey

Something in the water,
The neighbors all lament.
Can’t trust the companies,
Can’t trust government.

But we know, you know, they know,
Though science can’t say why we’re sick,
We’ll ferret out the truth—
This isn’t just some lawyer’s trick.

Hired that lawyer who wrote A Civil Action,
Played in the film by John Travolta.
Without him digging up the truth,
You think the companies would’ve told ya?

Now, I know the numbers of the sick
Could just be the result of chance and the like,
But how can something as dry as statistics
Hold back tears over a sick little tyke?

Science only goes so far,
But sorrow, the river, and the pockets of the companies are deep.

 
 

I suppose he’s hinting at the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII, a horrible thing NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT BUT HIM!

I don’t think he’s going on about internment camps. His review of Liberal Fascism has this comment: …FDR and Hitler constituted a veritable (and vocal) mutual admiration society…, presumably referring to some bullshit in Goldberg’s book.

All snark aside, I really don’t know where they’re coming up with this particular piece of crap. From everything I’ve ever read, FDR and Hitler loathed each other from start to finish. Certainly US relations with Germany – which had been quite friendly during the Weimar Republic – soured immediately when Hitler took over and grew steadily more hostile through the 1930s. Absolutely no admiration anywhere in sight.

 
 

I can has comments yet?

 
 

The fact is, Hitler inspired the Democrats to try and take over and nationalise everything. They are still trying. And Todd is a nice guy. We have posted on each other’s blogs and exchanged reasoned, rational, civil discourse on the Liberal Problem on many occassions.

 
 

If you follow the link to the tax return w/ Todd’s salary you’ll see he makes a lot less than the other folks listed there. He should get a raise. Because, by this time, he know EXACTLY what kind of coffee everybody likes and whether or not they like mayo on their sandwich. And he totally has the photocopier figured out too.

 
 

Gary Ruppert wrote:

And Todd is a nice guy. We have posted on each other’s blogs and exchanged reasoned, rational, civil discourse on the Liberal Problem on many occassions.

Now there’s an endorsement that carries a lot of weight.

 
 

We have posted on each other’s blogs and exchanged reasoned, rational, civil discourse on the Liberal Problem on many occassions.

Is that true, Mr. Seavey? Do you have blog correspondence with our Gary Ruppert?

 
 

Hired that lawyer who wrote A Civil Action

Man, he loves to fuck up facts, doesn’t he?

Simply because Jonathan Harr wrote A Civil Action it does not make him a lawyer, anymore than the fact that he wrote “The Lost Caravaggio” makes him Caravaggio.

Additionally, simply publishing someone’s putative salary does not qualify as “malice,” even if they get it wrong, no matter how many goddamn times you complain about it.

 
 

Gavin, breaking out the scoreboard smack with the 2007 win. Considering I was one of those who voted for Sadly, No! in the humor category, I must say the wingnut welfare queen Todd shows the same lack of a humor deficiency gene as others of his ilk. His kind also shows an inability to understand why they remain dateless.

Sad, no? Sadly, no!

 
 

The fact is, Hitler inspired the Democrats to try and take over and nationalise everything.

I call Fake Gary. The real Gary doesn’t spell like a Canadian. The correct word is “nationalize,” doofus.

 
 

Awww, I think lil Gary is telling Jennifer the date she won fair and square plays for the other team.

 
 

One thing is clear: the Liberal Problem calls for a Final Solution.

You’ve been warned, Sadly, No!, you’ve been warned.

 
 

“Man, he loves to fuck up facts, doesn’t he?”

It’s the main reason I suck at snark. It’s been going on so long it just pisses me off.

 
 

Oooh, noes Gary…you gonna catch us all ‘dead or alive’?

 
 

The reference in Todd’s song is to Jan Schlichtmann. He was the pioneering environmental lawyer who lost the case against W.R. Grace in A Civil Action:

http://www.lieffcabraser.com/toms-river-cancer-case.htm

 
 

I wouldn’t mind losing a case as long as I recieved a multi-million dollar settlement, either.

But that has nothing to do with the fact that the lawyer didn’t write the book.

 
 

It looks like in the picture up top he’s saying; “now get the fuck out of here and I’ll put the mask back on.”

Qetesh just gave S,N! a shout out on the radio and is playing 99 Luftballons in honor of all us Nazifascistislamoatheistcommiefascisthippyabortionists.

 
 

I just signed on and read the post…and threw up in my mouth a little.

Isn’t there a first-runner-up who can fulfill my duties if for any reason I am unable to fulfill them myself?

 
 

“I wouldn’t mind losing a case as long as I recieved a multi-million dollar settlement, either.

But that has nothing to do with the fact that the lawyer didn’t write the book.”

No, he didn’t write the book. And there was no settlement in the W.R. Grace case.

 
 

Hi Jennifer!

I believe teh Bible has an out for you…your sister can fulfill your duties.
I think you have to kick the bucket first, though.

 
 

It looks like in the picture up top he’s saying; “now get the fuck out of here and I’ll put the mask back on.”

I was thinking more like, ‘We don’t need any Chamber of Commerce types around here! We’re consenting adults!’

 
 

Damn, I’m missing the Qetesh show!

How the hell do you record a live real audio stream?

 
 

Jennifer, you’re in a tough spot to be sure. The only reasonable thing to do is fake your own death.

 
 

I don’t mind if your clueless Gary.

 
 

Yay, I can comment again, thanks, hamster-tenders.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

December 26, 2007 at 22:52

And there was no settlement in the W.R. Grace case.

Yet. It’s still in litigation, shithead.

 
 

Or not. Durnit. Why did the spam filter wake up hating me today?

 
 

Well, we’ve got half of S,N!’s minge and gary here. Where’s Saul?

 
 

So Todd’s either lying through his teeth, or he’s publicly admitting to committing tax fraud. Nice.

If you think Sadly Nobodies have a bad sense of humor, just wait till you go through a tax audit, pal. They don’t usually lead off with a joke. I wonder if he has a “rules for auditing me” similar to his ones for dating…

 
 

One last test n I stop annoyin y’all.
Thanks fer the effort, Gavin.

 
 

a different brad said,

December 26, 2007 at 23:05

Yay, I can comment again, thanks, hamster-tenders.

Is that what they’re serving at Mickey D’s, these days?

 
 

I too heard the shout-out from Qetesh to the “Sadly,Naughts”. And I also heard her announce her real-world name. Bidding starts at one million Euros. Or, a one -way ticket and resident sponsorship in Oz.

 
 

I don’t think Jennifer has to do anything as drastic as die (or fake-die). Can’t she just put Todd’s shoes outside the tent or something? And if not, I’d like to be the first to thank her for taking one for the team.

 
Kevin Bacon Holding A Short Roll Of Playdoh
 

“Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166,”

Ha! He may (or may not, oooh that Republican morality, eh?) be only earning around median wage, but the important thing is, he’s earning it in American dollars, bub! So when he finally gives his few remaining claimed standards in, and has to go looking abroad for a mail order bride, he’ll …

…. wait…

…. ooops.

Still, the Dollar may now be worth less than the British Pound, Canadian and Australian Dollar, and yes even the hated Euro… but have no fear! It’s still worth more than the Ruble and most South Asian currencies! So Todd’s still ahead of the game yet! Take THAT Sadly No Collective!

 
 

I believe that we can move this dialog to a more rational and less emotional level if we start addressing Mr. Seavy in the manner he prefers, to wit: “The Todd”.

 
Worst. President. Ever.
 

Why do they hate us? Essentially because I noted that Mussolini was a socialist rather than a conservative

Perhaps ‘hate’ is the wrong word, Todd.

Essentially because anyone who fails to note the difference between ‘Mussolini’ and a ‘socialist’ would similarly fail to note the difference between their ‘ass’ and their ‘elbow’.

 
 

“Yet. It’s still in litigation, shithead.”

Now that’s just unkind. The case did put Jan Schlichtmann in bankruptcy, after all.

I suppose the point I was trying to make is, none of you people here really understand what it means to go up against a major corporation and lose. It means you’re fucking broke.

 
 

Why do they hate us? Essentially because I noted that Mussolini was a socialist rather than a conservative

“Good grief,” said Charlie Brown.

Or, to quote the Coasters: “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?”

These people and their persecution complexes!

 
a concerned citizen
 

Todd, we know you’re lurking here. If you don’t explain the comments about your salary (either here or on your blog) by tomorrow morning, I will file an IRS form 3949-A reporting tax fraud and send registered letters to Elizabeth Whelan and anybody else associated with your organization I can get my hands on explaining that you’re publicly claiming that your employer knowingly misrepresented financial data given to the IRS.

No prevaricating — you need to come out and flat out say you lied your ass off, or you are going to be in a huge amount of trouble. If you’re lucky, you’ll just get fired. If you’re not so lucky, they’ll sue your ass into the ground.

The choice is yours.

 
 

I don’t think Jennifer has to do anything as drastic as die (or fake-die).

There might be other ways to get out of it. In his personal ad, Todd specifies that he wants an “undeformed female”. Jennifer can tell him that she has two heads, and that one looks exactly like the 12th grade English teacher who kept giving him Ds.

 
 

“I suppose the point I was trying to make is..” that you haven’t read the book, haven’t seen the movie or just enjoy being wrong and not making sense.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

December 26, 2007 at 23:45
I suppose the point I was trying to make is, none of you people here really understand what it means to go up against a major corporation and lose.

And as always, your point IS no point, so why don’t you just crawl back under whatever rock you crawled OUT from and sharpen the top of your head?

 
 

I was thinking not so much “The Todd” as “That Todd,” but it has to be delivered in the voice Dianne Wiest used to refer to Keanu Reeves in Parenthood.

 
 

I bet the part about the undeformed female was the part where he was ‘half-joking’.

Better find another out.

 
 

Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness.

That oughta do it.

 
 

Hey! Where’s my comment? dangnabbit.

 
 

Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness. That oughta do it.

[This may show up twice, but I’m only thinking of Jennifer.]

 
 

I think what Todd expected us to find about Democratic presidents in wartime will explain a lot about his views, and Doughy Pantload’s book. Wilson and FDR exercised a lot of control over the economy during the wars, something conservatives considered unjustifiable state interference (as opposed to how those phonies view civil liberties). FDR instituted rationing (the government limiting what people can buy) and allowed the internment of Japanese Americans in California, Oregon and Washington state (ignoring the small Japanese population in the East, and the massive one in Hawaii). Wilson let loose Attorney General Palmer and J Edgar Hoover on “subversives.” This is all true, and worth discussing (intelligently, without name calling) but it doesn’t validate Pantload’s book one bit. You want to call FDR a Fascist, do real research and make a real case. I might be interested in reading your argument. I think for Doughy Pantload and Todd, it all comes down to economic freedom. Todd, Jonah, feel free to correct me if I’ve misread you. I don’t think I have though. Now, am I just saying what the Sadly,No! gang has all been thinking?

 
 

And I just want to express outrage that that fucking wanker is earning more money than I am! And I do good things for sick people in health care!

How does this kind of shit happen? How?!?!?!?

Because he’s a Wingnut Welfare Queen. Unlike the women who had dozens of kids to load up on welfare, he sucked dozens of gooper schlongs to get his. And with people like Larry Craig in that party, I’m thinking we can take that literally hehe.

Oooh, noes Gary…you gonna catch us all ‘dead or alive’?

dead or alive

Internment with forced viewing of Day by Day cartoons?

 
 

Re: Update 2

It looks like you’re off the hook, Jennifer.

 
 

Definitely more appropriate than a sammich. And I just read that personal ad of his. Holy shit. The the chances of a blow up fuck doll and a real woman responding to it are exactly the same. His approach is not that uncommon though in the world of online dating. It’s amazing how many people think being a bitter, condescending douchebag is a winning dating strategy.

 
 

I doubt Todd watches Boston Legal in his underpants or otherwise, unless he’s got some masturbatory fantasies about Denny Crane.

 
 

“Jennifer, you’re in a tough spot to be sure. The only reasonable thing to do is fake your own death.”

Actually going to the effort of faking your own death is completely unnecessary. Merely feigning death is usually sufficient to get out of awkward social situations

 
 

Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness. That oughta do it.

 
 

Omygod! What’s he done to Jennifer?!!

my previous comment, which still didn’t come through, is now null and void.

 
 

UPDATE 2: Somebody said Todd needed a sammich. I thought something else might be appropriate in the place of the sammich.

Join Sammich Amurkans United, and stop these atrocities!

H00’s with me?!ONE!!1!

 
 

Thanks for all the suggestions about how to get out of it, though ultimately it looks like Clif found the most sure-fire one.

Though I’ll note, complaining about the pain from the boil on your ass is a good way to get away quickly from Christmas dinner with your sister’s inlaws.

 
 

Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll? Or do such things exist? I wouldn’t mind owning one, especially if it could mow the lawn and take out trash, which everyone knows is the Husband’s Job, only they never “get around to it”.

 
 

BTW, is that rampant pubic hair on that blow up doll? WTF, did someone rub it down with Rogaine?

 
 

I think that’s just “her” outfit, Jennifer, tho imbw.

 
Worst. President. Ever.
 

Ten Rules for Auditing Todd

1. Do you find yourself saying, “Todd, just exactly WTF did you really get paid last year, motherfucker?

2. Do you ever end an argument by saying, “Just because you try to claim an inflatable fuck doll as a dependent doesn’t mean it’s actually deductible?”

3. Do you laugh when you read a totally bogus 1040 without knowing why, or without being able to explain why “in words”?

5. Do you believe yourself to be ready to deal with Todd when he becomes sullen and uncommunicative when asked to provide documentation for claiming his inflatable fuck doll as a dependent?

7. Are you prepared for Todd using phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble adding and subtracting lately.” ?

9. Are you perpared to disallow Todd’s claims for antidepressants or antipsychotic medication?

10. Are you aware that Tood may think that a given statement must be true if he “feels strongly” about the underlying issue? (For instance, that “shit” is actually the same substance as “shinola”?)

 
 

“Indeed, it’s an overeagerness to make intuitive/analogizing leaps like that which ought to make observers seriously question whether someone can be trusted to draw any correct oracular hunches about the nature of the universe”

Todd, did you write that before or after you reviewed Doh’y’s book?

 
 

Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll?

Nah – I think he’d have more fun with inflatable party sheep.

 
 

11. Are you prepared to be called a “fascist” if you reveal eating whole grains, exercising frequently, and/or appreciating the contributions of gay people?

 
 

This “amateur lawyer” does seem to have inspired a clarification posting.

Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, since you can hardly argue that your erroneous post was done without malice.

You called?

 
 

i looked and looked and looked, but no lawnmower. Guess I’ll have to look again.

 
 

Y’know, it’s one thing when it happens to seedy characters like diffbrad and MzNicky, but yoinking a comment from a reputable and not at all fake law firm? For shame, spam filter, for shame.

 
 

Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll? Or do such things exist? I wouldn’t mind owning one, especially if it could mow the lawn and take out trash, which everyone knows is the Husband’s Job, only they never “get around to it”.

Or perhaps this guy.

 
 

Shalom gentlemen.

 
 

The bottom line is, you liberals are a bunch of losers who have nothing better to do than mock successful Conservatives like Jonah Goldberg and Todd Seavy.

 
 

Still the Holiday Season, right?
How about a Yule Goat? You could stick Mickey Kaus on the other end, and..

 
 

When is Jonah’s book shipping. I MUST HAVE MY COPY NOW!

 
 

Todd looks like he’s in the middle of blowing up his dolly.

 
 

Todd Seavey is a pedophile and makes $5. You heard it here first.

I love how we have Republican candidates running for office that don’t believe in the right to Habeas Corpus, believe that the President can do everything and anything he wants, any time, for whatever reason — and the people who *don’t* believe that are the fascists.

Up is down. Black is white. Yawn.

When you look at what characterized the Nazis it’s not that Hitler owned a dog or that his college roommate smoked pot. If you honestly make a list of what made the Nazis Nazis that list looks suspiciously like Romney’s and Guiliani’s campaign platforms.

What Republicans believe about the law, the nature of government and the rights of citizens is almost exactly what the Nazis believed. They both believe that the legislative branch has little authority, that the Constitution is outdated and can be suspended, that a single authority figure is the right form of government, that preventive wars are wonderful, etc etc etc.

But we’re supposed to believe that it’s people who like dogs that are the real fascists.

There’s a sucker born every minute and apparently that’s the audience for this dreck. A book by and for the very stupid.

 
 

A book by and for the very stupid.

You’re just ticked that gay hippies are coming to put white men like you into concentration camps.

 
 

I doubt Todd watches Boston Legal in his underpants or otherwise, unless he’s got some masturbatory fantasies about Denny Crane.

Limpsocks like Todd masturbate to the fantasy that they are Denny Crane. They are not smart enough to pick up the concept of “comic relief”*, or the fact that Shatner’s witty lines are written by lefty-liberal-Hollywood-unionist writers. Just as Todd and his fellow travellers (as I understand it, libertarians reject the concept of “friends”) saw the original Star Trek series as “Dashing Captain Kirk travels the universe screwing all the women & killing all the men”, they see Boston Legal as “Crafty Denny Crane does whatever he feels like and never gets punished because Money Rulez!!!1!”

*No, Mr. Seavy, it has nothing to do with “fart jokes”

 
 

When your personal ad reads like a verbose “You Might Be a Redneck …”, you might be a douchebag.

 
 

“Just as Todd and his fellow travellers (as I understand it, libertarians reject the concept of “friends”) saw the original Star Trek series as “Dashing Captain Kirk travels the universe screwing all the women & killing all the men”, they see Boston Legal as “Crafty Denny Crane does whatever he feels like and never gets punished because Money Rulez!!!1!””

Awesome. A perfect description.

 
 

As closeted masochists like The Todd are unable to keep themselves from returning to the places where they get the shit beaten out of them, and the more abuse that is heaped on them the more aroused the become (like picking a scab ’cause it hurts so gooood!), I’m guessing that The Todd came when he read: “When your personal ad reads like a verbose “You Might Be a Redneck …”, you might be a douchebag.”

 
 

Yikes! Sorry my comment showed up 100 times, for cryin’ out loud. Dangburn ribbershibber internetstubes thingamabobs.

 
 

A fellow anarchist talking about libel…

high-larious… we must kick him out of the movement at our next meeting

 
 

Hmm, as someone who is a total Moore fanboy and someone Jonah would call a fascist, I feel the need to draw a couple threads together. . . it was in his introduction to V for Vendetta that Moore brought up the fact that it was the Thatcher government who were drawing up legislation to eliminate homosexuality as a concept. Not just eliminating homosexuals, but effectively making homosexuality THOUGHTCRIME.

Just sayin’.

And please stop associating him with the movie. He’s hated and refused to be involved in any film adaptations of his work.

 
Arky - Fascitanata
 

Dammit, if I’d known there was a chance to win a date with him I wouldn’t have let the picture scare me away.

 
 

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