26
Attend the Tale of Seavey, Todd
His skin was pale and his eye was odd . . .
Really. Particularly when he showed up in the comments for our post on his “review” of Jonah the Whale’s minimum opus Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to Cocker Spaniel Rescue Leagues.
Let’s see what he had to say:
You do raise a few interesting philosophical questions, SN, such as, for instance, whether claiming that ACSH says trans fat [sic] cure [sic] cancer constitutes libel on your part, given that you’re not that funny, undermining your ability to claim “parody” or “comedy” as a defense for such a false statement.*
Ladies, Todd is not only a catch but he’s an amateur lawyer too, apparently learning everything he knows about the law from sitting around watching “Boston Legal” in his underpants. No, of course, the American Council of Wingnut Science and Industry Health didn’t say that trans fats cure cancer, but it has been in the forefront of whack-a-doodle “think” tanks, ignoring this evidence about trans fats and claiming that trans fats aren’t such a big deal. This probably wasn’t the best battleground for you to pick, Todd.
I don’t [sic] whether progressives located in Germany have been influenced by fascist traditions, but clearly they’re keeping the proud tradition of German comedy alive and well.
Well, I knew something felt funny this morning when I awoke from anxious dreams. I had been turned into a monstrous German.
I expect you will respond with more “comedy,” such as calling me a jerk or something, but I’m done with this particular dialogue, so do what you feel politics and comedy demand of you. Try not to let it angry up the blood too much. And read some history about Democratic presidents in wartime if you get bored.
Really, Todd we don’t have to call you anything. You do the work for us. In your case, as they say, the comedy just writes itself.
And the winner of our “Win a Date with Todd Seavey” contest is . . . <drum roll> . . . Todd! No, just kidding . . . it’s . . . <another drum roll> . . . Jennifer!
* Gavin adds:
UPDATE: Ya know, when Todd said in his original comment “I’m done with this particular dialogue,” he wasn’t telling the truth. He’s baaaack.
And he’s still fussing about his salary being understated, but won’t tell us what it is. Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166, not a big difference from the $51,224 salary that Sourcewatch listed and which was based on the 2003 IRS 990. Now if Todd wants to reveal his salary rather than complaining that publicly-available figures are wrong, well, we are all ears.
UPDATE 2: Somebody said Todd needed a sammich. I thought something else might be appropriate in the place of the sammich.
handy said,
December 26, 2007 at 18:37
Todd wins! Comedy gold!
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 18:38
Poor Jennifer. As a consolation prize, we can send you a box of Kleenex for those long, inevitable nights of crying on the other side of the bed.
Joe Max said,
December 26, 2007 at 18:47
I’m trying to figure out what the hell he’s doing in the photo, what with the “V” mask and a big red “D” scotch-taped to his left tit. (The guy with the mask *and* sunglasses on his right is a hoot too.) Was this some kind of wingnut “protest” street theatre, to imply that Democrats “(”D”) are all really revolutionary anarchists with sharp knives who talk like Hugo Weaving?
“Todd Seavey shouldn’t be afraid of the government, the government should be afraid of Todd Seavey!”
Be afraid. Be very afraid…
Clif said,
December 26, 2007 at 18:53
Joe Max, here’s the caption to the photo:
And that’s not more S,N! comedy. It is the actual caption. See for yourself here.
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 18:58
How can someone be an “anarchist” when they are so clearly pro-establishment? Is that like one of those “Compassionate Conservative” or “Republican Rebellion” type oxymorons?
Smiling Mortician said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:02
I clicked through and read Todd’s whole comment on the dead thread. Anybody know how to clean spittle from the inside of a monitor?
Candy said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:03
He actually protested for V for Vendetta? Holy shit, I love that movie. I feel violated.
This makes no sense at all.
Gundamhead said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:07
Why do they always make some crack about your being “German based”? Is calling you a German really the best putdown they can come up with? And is that picture photoshopped? Cuz I really want the heck that’s about.
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:15
He actually protested for V for Vendetta? Holy shit, I love that movie. I feel violated.
I was going to say the same thing. I love the movie, even though the book was far superior. Maybe Seavey sees the story of killing all the people different from him as a kind of manual, with pretty pictures.
I get the impression from the article that Seavey’s group were protesting the people who were complaining that the movie was too watered down. The point that the movie was too watered down is a worthwhile complaint, although I never felt so strongly about it as to take to the streets in complaint.
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:23
The reporter seems to have been confused. I think Seavey believes in libertarianism, anarchism’s wimpified right-wing mutation.
Joe Max said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:26
It still doesn’t make much sense (Seavey’s “protest”, not the film.) I loved the graphic novel, but the film isn’t all that bad. Most of what it changed was a matter of updating the narrative (we aren’t dealing with Thatcher’s England anymore) and cutting out the various sub-plots, which would have meant making a four hour film out of it.
But someone explain the “D” on his chest! I’m going to lay awake at night trying to puzzle it out… “Is it ‘D’ for ‘dumbass’? ‘Douchebag’? ‘Dunderhead’? Come back and explain yourself, Todd!
CHODE said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:26
I’m not in the least bit surprised that Todd came over here just to afflict us with a typo-filled whine about how wrong (and unfunny) we are. That reaction is completely in keeping with the flair for the dramatic he demonstrated in his personal ad.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:28
Good job Todd, don’t defend your ‘review’…we wouldn’t be expecting that, and you know how we hate surprises.
MrWonderful said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:29
Didja read that entire personal, the Ten Requirements for Dating, or whatever it’s called? Me, neither. I tried to, though. I want partial credit.
That’s some weapons-grade narcissism. I read the masters of self-regarding obliviousness–Swank, Noonan, etc.–and I think, Gentlemen, we are confronting a kind of evil beyond the scope of anything we have hitherto been accustomed to calling “human.”
But this…
Blue Buddha said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:29
He’s got a “V” mask, and a “D” on his chest. Put two and two together folks: he’s “VD” (venereal disease).
stryx said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:30
It’s no wonder this guy showed up fluffing Chunky. I don’t even understand what it is they’re claiming anymore. Liberal fascists, organized conservative anarchists, and what about the Germans? Not funny Nazi liberal socialist Nazis? And who is V? Are we V? Is Todd V? And who gets to be Natalie Portman? Jennifer?
Todd Seavey said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:36
This “amateur lawyer” does seem to have inspired a clarification posting.
Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, since you can hardly argue that your erroneous post was done without malice.
We can keep this up all week in dribs and drabs or talk about Jonah or explore so many different avenues — or, as with the perplexed reactions to the anarchist protest I led, you could just admit that _maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity_.
Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…
mextremist said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:37
Gavin: that was some of teh best smug, self-promoting, off-handed narcissism i have seen: no words needed, just that cute lil’ gif. thank you, it was worth voting just for y’all to be able to do that. keep the lulz coming…
CHODE said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:38
Oh…my…God. I just found a break-up letter written, perhaps, by the very same Todd that we all know and love.
BEHOLD!
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:39
_maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity_.
“We are the SN collective-entity. We will add your political and technological distinctiveness to your own. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”
CHODE said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:42
Next, you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary, since you can hardly argue that your erroneous post was done without malice.
I was wondering when this would come up. Thank you for meeting my expectations so exactly, Todd!
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:42
Also, is Seavey saying he collects even more in wingnut welfare? God, I wish I would have spent less time studying and more time following more conservative pursuits–like burning homeless people or trolling for blowjobs in Minneapolis airport restrooms.
Or, I could just burn homeless people in airport restrooms. Kill two birds with one stone.
Ted said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:43
Fucking hilarious! Blow the whistle, he comes running.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:44
Pretty sure ‘rational’ wasn’t the word you were looking for. But what do I know, I’m just a hippy liberal environmentalist educated jew fascist.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:45
The fact is Todd is pretty dreamy.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:46
…and if you want us to bow down to your exhorbitant while woefully underserved salary…just post it. It won’t make us any dumber or you any smarter.
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:47
you might want to do one correcting my significantly understated salary,
So Seavey takes even more wingnut welfare for being a subpar jackass? Jesus Christ in a sidecar, I am in the wrong field! I would gladly write his sort of crap for a fraction of the salary.
slackor said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:51
Sounds like someones got an inferiority complex about his salary.
Say doesn’t that pose deserve a sandwich?
mextremist said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:55
For the love of Baal, Todd insists on having his head firmly stuck up his ass! He joins us again! He beckons us to LISTEN to his website. Hermano, your prose drips with the mediocre ambitions of a stunted adolescence, and the intellectual heft of a freshman teacher’s pet. Your collection of unispiring trite banalities is an offense to rational thought itself. As to why they pay your salary, I can only guess your gasbag rantings make imbeciles like Jonah look absolutely brilliant by comparison.
Flying Fox said,
December 26, 2007 at 19:55
Todd, I need to know, what is with the underscores? And about the protest, we’re commenting on it precisely because we have no information. We’re specualting here. You might be so kind as to explain it (with or without the underscores is fine). Less whining though. I prefer shochu or scotch.
Djur said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:02
He’s under the misconception that this is email or USENET and he’s using them to indicate emphasis.
Flying Fox said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:03
Thank you Djur. I did not know underscores worked that way.
Sodd Teavey said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:12
I _know_ the sadly collective feel a boost of _ego_ because I deen to grase your very very unfuny cite with my intellectuallizations. Peehaps I will choice to share moar of _my_ magistarial insites with you who are _clearly_ my mentel and financeal inferiors.
handy said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:16
Todd, I need to know, what is with the underscores?
It’s like Mad-Lib, he wants you to fill in the blanks with whatever adjective, noun, or verb you find appropriate. To wit:
you could just admit that I will predictably say maybe this time you don’t know what you’re talking about, SN-collective-entity precisely because you don’t know what you’re talking about, because my life is filled with many precious things, sense not being one of them.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:17
Better the underscores than the scare quotes he uses in his dating requirements — remember his rant about women who should express their angst “in words”?
Hey Todd, here’s a belated Christmas gift for you. Knock yourself out.
Scott said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:18
Little Toddkins seems very, very concerned about what people think about him. For some reason, I picture him sitting outside CBGBs, playing “Stairway to Heaven” and “Eye of the Tiger” on his state-of-the-art four-string ukelele, and getting mad that all the punks aren’t giving him mad props for his skillz.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:24
Ummm, Todd?
This isn’t a german blog. You’re working at the level of Debbie Schlussel. The guy who started this blog now lives in Germany. The rest of the people who post here live in the US.
I think that, as you are neither funny nor informative, this assertion on your part constitutes libel, and we’re gonna collectively sue yer ass for every cent of wingnut welfare you proudly make.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:26
Spam blocker ate my comment. Wahhhhhh. That’ll learn me for not being logged in.
Dagoril said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:27
Oh come on Todd. You can do better than this. At this point you just sound like some angry World of Warcraft player, whining on the messageboards about how a Warlock beat you in a duel, and how the class is totally overpowered, and how you are going to quit this very instant if a dev doesn’t respond to your post. And when anyone tells you to get a life and stop worrying about little things, you even bring up how rich you are in the real world, and not some cheeto-covered loser in your mom’s basement.
My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.
handy said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:29
My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.
You called that one. “Purpelzzz pleeaz! I can rollz need!!”
Scott said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:29
He may be a Night Elf Hunter. But he wants everyone to believe he’s a Night Elf Mohawk.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:31
“My guess is you’re a Night Elf. Hunter.”
If he leaves, can I have his stuffs?
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:34
Todd Seavey wrote:
Darn. I really yearned to know the shocking details of the never-before-revealed secret fascist monkey love between FDR and Hitler, a tragic wartime romance doomed to end in heartbreak and tears. Or was it a secret leftist love? It’s hard to keep this shit straight.
But I’ll never know. All the psychedelic left-wing craziness coursing through my brain has left me so totally irrational that I’m unable to focus enough to click on your link.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:34
And who gets to be Natalie Portman? Jennifer?
She doesn’t have to shave her head, though.
Explanations can be found on my site every other day or so, for those few rational enough to listen…
Yay! A website run by someone who praises Jonah Goldberg’s “Liberal Fascism” book! Open wide, favorites folder!
J— said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:44
Hillary Rodham Clinton is so scary, so totalitarian yet so sneaky, the Right can’t stand it!
T. Seavey, “Hillary Finds Jesus (Jones): The Right Simply Cannot Stand for This Appropriation.” _National Review Onine_, February 5, 2007
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:49
I can be Natalie Portman. I have even shaved my head. Not sure if I like being kidnapped by a crazed anarchist and tortured, though. How lucrative is the benefits package?
Deschanel said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:49
Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb.
“Democratic presidents in wartime..” Uh, like FDR?
Worst. President. Ever. said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:51
If socialism and fascism seem like “opposites” now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the left to claim for decades that they are.
And if ’shit’ and ’shinola’ seem like “opposites” now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the left to claim for decades that they are.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:51
Why have neither of my comments to this thread shown up?
Kick the damn spam filter.
Deschanel said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:52
We are not “SN-collective-entity”.
We are Devo.
JoshWatermanMN said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:56
If “liberalism” and “faith” seem like opposites now, it’s only because we’ve allowed the right to claim for decades that they are.
Mad-libs are fun!
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:56
I wanna comment, dammit.
let me in
a certain christmas elf said,
December 26, 2007 at 20:58
I can uze this name to comment?
Why the filter hates me?
Mo's Bike Shop said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:02
Counterprotesting Alan Moore fanboys?
This guy is just a reflexive Stalker, ain’t he?
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:03
Todd Seavey laments:
“Why do they hate us”
Grab a beer, Todd, have a seat…this is going to take awhile.
stryx said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:03
If freedom and slavery seem like opposites, it’s only….
This is just too sad to be real.
Marion in Savannah said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:08
“Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb.”
The poor soul is probably trying to be quasi-folksy, because “angry up the blood” is something that somebody’s old Southern grandmother would say… Bless his heart.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:08
Hooray for Jennifer!
Congrats, he’s ALL YOURS!one11!!
Nimrod Gently said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:11
What does he think we’ll find out about Democratic presidents in wartime? That they did OK?
Marion in Savannah said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:13
“Someone tell our visitor, “angry” is not a verb”
The poor soul is probably just trying to be quasi-folksy. “Angry up the blood” is something that somebody’s Southern grandmother might say. Bless his heart…
MzNicky said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:14
The “crap e-mail from a dude” excerpted above couldn’t be Todd’s. Wrong style, for one thing (too much passive-aggressive cringing and creepy sociopathic subtext; not enough bald egomania). Also, badly written as that missive is, it’s not as bad as what Mr. Seavey’s sixth-grade vocabulary level permits. Plus, to have written a “breakup letter” means one would have had someone with whom to break up in the first place, so.
Fozzetti said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:16
That photo cries out for a sammich.
Fozzetti said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:18
Woah! Doesn’t it look like Bush standing on S’s left?
Dagoril said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:18
You called that one. “Purpelzzz pleeaz! I can rollz need!!”
Now if only we could get more Pew Pew out of him, and less QQ :)
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:23
Fozzetti said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:16
That photo cries out for a sammich.
Seconded.
Harry Cheddar said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:23
Hey! Ladies! If you’ve been looking for a simpering imperious shriveled elf-man who’s not afraid to toady to the monied elite, all I can say is “Jackpot”!
J— said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:25
Seavey is still done with this particular dialogue.
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:27
No no no. We’ll find out that late at night when everyone was asleep the Democratic Presidents In Wartime put on tight-fitting latex fascist uniforms, snuck outside, and cavorted in the moonlight. Not many people know this, but the truth must be revealed if a free America is to survive.
Joe Max said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:30
Following Todd’s advice,I steeled myself and went to his website for an explanation his “anti-anti-V” protest, to no avail. There is a lot of fanboy stuff about comic books (including a post about a guy in a Captain America costume stuffing a burrito in his pants and harassing women) and how much he loves the man-scent of Charlton Heston in “Omega Man”, but no “V” explanations, other than he lieks to go to movie premieres wearing a “V” mask. I suppose because the chicks dig it.
OK, Todd, I want my ten minutes back.
Blue Buddha said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:37
And if he made significantly more than what’s on public record, I’m sure the IRS would really like to know about it. ;)
actor212 said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:42
Ooooh, he makes about median income! How nice for him…assuming he has a wife…errr, you are straight, right Seepy?…and two kids…errrr, you are straight, right, Seepy?
Hard to tell from those photos….
Tim (the other one) said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:42
heh…. Todd Sceevy… heh heh……
Happy Boxing Day “collective S/N entity” eleventyfinity.
FlipYrWhig said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:42
Question?
Answer!
Duros62 said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:43
(W)hen everyone was asleep the Democratic Presidents In Wartime put on tight-fitting latex fascist uniforms, snuck outside, and cavorted in the moonlight.
That would have been a good trick for Roosevelt.
Fozzetti said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:46
I suppose he’s hinting at the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII, a horrible thing NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT BUT HIM!
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:48
FDR’s profound faith in fascism enabled him to overcome his infirmities.
Phoenix Woman said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:48
Actually, the second I saw where he’d said “I’m done with this particular dialogue,” I knew he’d be back, because he is of the school of thought that holds that whoever makes the last comment wins the argument, no matter what.
Now if anything could keep him away, it would be having this shoved in his face each time he showed up.
actor212 said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:51
An editor who publishes “major tomes” only makes $56,000?
Dude, either you’re an idiot or a fucking idiot. Which is it?
Duros62 said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:53
BTW, Jennifer, condolences. I sincerely hope that the gnawing off a limb can be avoided.
Doodle Bean said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:56
Poor Jennifer! Oh well, better her than me.
And I just want to express outrage that that fucking wanker is earning more money than I am! And I do good things for sick people in health care!
How does this kind of shit happen? How?!?!?!?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:58
How, Doodle Bean?
We’ve got one messed up country, that’s how.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:59
He’s done because he doesn’t want anyone going thru his archives.
Doesn’t want anyone reading his ’sugar is a chemical and so are sugar substitutes - so there can’t be anything wrong with them’. Doesn’t want us to talk about how the ‘high tech geeks’ will be way more powerful than the ‘cave-dwelling terrorists’…a veritable mismatch there. Doesn’t want us to know that only he knows the causes of Parkinson’s disease and Michael J. Fox’s doctor is a quack - but he makes a point to slam Fox in the title of that particular piece. Doesn’t want us to figure out that it’s the nonsense he’s been spewing for years that leads people like Jonah to write incredibily stupid shit.
Yah, Todd is the rational one, but at least he makes good money at it.
Joe Max said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:01
The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:05
And if there was ever a reason to delete something completely off the internet tubes, I’d have picked this if I was Todd:
Toms River Lament
By Todd Seavey
Something in the water,
The neighbors all lament.
Can’t trust the companies,
Can’t trust government.
But we know, you know, they know,
Though science can’t say why we’re sick,
We’ll ferret out the truth—
This isn’t just some lawyer’s trick.
Hired that lawyer who wrote A Civil Action,
Played in the film by John Travolta.
Without him digging up the truth,
You think the companies would’ve told ya?
Now, I know the numbers of the sick
Could just be the result of chance and the like,
But how can something as dry as statistics
Hold back tears over a sick little tyke?
Science only goes so far,
But sorrow, the river, and the pockets of the companies are deep.
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:07
I don’t think he’s going on about internment camps. His review of Liberal Fascism has this comment: …FDR and Hitler constituted a veritable (and vocal) mutual admiration society…, presumably referring to some bullshit in Goldberg’s book.
All snark aside, I really don’t know where they’re coming up with this particular piece of crap. From everything I’ve ever read, FDR and Hitler loathed each other from start to finish. Certainly US relations with Germany - which had been quite friendly during the Weimar Republic - soured immediately when Hitler took over and grew steadily more hostile through the 1930s. Absolutely no admiration anywhere in sight.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:09
I can has comments yet?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:11
The fact is, Hitler inspired the Democrats to try and take over and nationalise everything. They are still trying. And Todd is a nice guy. We have posted on each other’s blogs and exchanged reasoned, rational, civil discourse on the Liberal Problem on many occassions.
fardels bear said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:15
If you follow the link to the tax return w/ Todd’s salary you’ll see he makes a lot less than the other folks listed there. He should get a raise. Because, by this time, he know EXACTLY what kind of coffee everybody likes and whether or not they like mayo on their sandwich. And he totally has the photocopier figured out too.
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:16
Gary Ruppert wrote:
Now there’s an endorsement that carries a lot of weight.
Ted said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:18
Is that true, Mr. Seavey? Do you have blog correspondence with our Gary Ruppert?
Jim said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:19
Hired that lawyer who wrote A Civil Action
Man, he loves to fuck up facts, doesn’t he?
Simply because Jonathan Harr wrote A Civil Action it does not make him a lawyer, anymore than the fact that he wrote “The Lost Caravaggio” makes him Caravaggio.
Additionally, simply publishing someone’s putative salary does not qualify as “malice,” even if they get it wrong, no matter how many goddamn times you complain about it.
Carnacki said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:20
Gavin, breaking out the scoreboard smack with the 2007 win. Considering I was one of those who voted for Sadly, No! in the humor category, I must say the wingnut welfare queen Todd shows the same lack of a humor deficiency gene as others of his ilk. His kind also shows an inability to understand why they remain dateless.
Sad, no? Sadly, no!
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:23
The fact is, Hitler inspired the Democrats to try and take over and nationalise everything.
I call Fake Gary. The real Gary doesn’t spell like a Canadian. The correct word is “nationalize,” doofus.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:24
Awww, I think lil Gary is telling Jennifer the date she won fair and square plays for the other team.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:32
One thing is clear: the Liberal Problem calls for a Final Solution.
You’ve been warned, Sadly, No!, you’ve been warned.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:34
“Man, he loves to fuck up facts, doesn’t he?”
It’s the main reason I suck at snark. It’s been going on so long it just pisses me off.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:36
Oooh, noes Gary…you gonna catch us all ‘dead or alive’?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:41
The reference in Todd’s song is to Jan Schlichtmann. He was the pioneering environmental lawyer who lost the case against W.R. Grace in A Civil Action:
http://www.lieffcabraser.com/toms-river-cancer-case.htm
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:45
I wouldn’t mind losing a case as long as I recieved a multi-million dollar settlement, either.
But that has nothing to do with the fact that the lawyer didn’t write the book.
Lawnguylander said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:46
It looks like in the picture up top he’s saying; “now get the fuck out of here and I’ll put the mask back on.”
Qetesh just gave S,N! a shout out on the radio and is playing 99 Luftballons in honor of all us Nazifascistislamoatheistcommiefascisthippyabortionists.
Jennifer said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:48
I just signed on and read the post…and threw up in my mouth a little.
Isn’t there a first-runner-up who can fulfill my duties if for any reason I am unable to fulfill them myself?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:52
“I wouldn’t mind losing a case as long as I recieved a multi-million dollar settlement, either.
But that has nothing to do with the fact that the lawyer didn’t write the book.”
No, he didn’t write the book. And there was no settlement in the W.R. Grace case.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:53
Hi Jennifer!
I believe teh Bible has an out for you…your sister can fulfill your duties.
I think you have to kick the bucket first, though.
stryx said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:59
It looks like in the picture up top he’s saying; “now get the fuck out of here and I’ll put the mask back on.”
I was thinking more like, ‘We don’t need any Chamber of Commerce types around here! We’re consenting adults!’
Hümor Me said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:59
Damn, I’m missing the Qetesh show!
How the hell do you record a live real audio stream?
Lawnguylander said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:00
Jennifer, you’re in a tough spot to be sure. The only reasonable thing to do is fake your own death.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:02
I don’t mind if your clueless Gary.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:05
Yay, I can comment again, thanks, hamster-tenders.
actor212 said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:05
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:52
And there was no settlement in the W.R. Grace case.
Yet. It’s still in litigation, shithead.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:06
Or not. Durnit. Why did the spam filter wake up hating me today?
Ted said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:16
Well, we’ve got half of S,N!’s minge and gary here. Where’s Saul?
eduardo said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:16
So Todd’s either lying through his teeth, or he’s publicly admitting to committing tax fraud. Nice.
If you think Sadly Nobodies have a bad sense of humor, just wait till you go through a tax audit, pal. They don’t usually lead off with a joke. I wonder if he has a “rules for auditing me” similar to his ones for dating…
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:25
One last test n I stop annoyin y’all.
Thanks fer the effort, Gavin.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:25
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:05
Yay, I can comment again, thanks, hamster-tenders.
Is that what they’re serving at Mickey D’s, these days?
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:25
I too heard the shout-out from Qetesh to the “Sadly,Naughts”. And I also heard her announce her real-world name. Bidding starts at one million Euros. Or, a one -way ticket and resident sponsorship in Oz.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:28
I don’t think Jennifer has to do anything as drastic as die (or fake-die). Can’t she just put Todd’s shoes outside the tent or something? And if not, I’d like to be the first to thank her for taking one for the team.
Kevin Bacon Holding A Short Roll Of Playdoh said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:33
“Well, the latest IRS 990 for ACSH shows his salary for 2005 as $56,166,”
Ha! He may (or may not, oooh that Republican morality, eh?) be only earning around median wage, but the important thing is, he’s earning it in American dollars, bub! So when he finally gives his few remaining claimed standards in, and has to go looking abroad for a mail order bride, he’ll …
…. wait…
…. ooops.
Still, the Dollar may now be worth less than the British Pound, Canadian and Australian Dollar, and yes even the hated Euro… but have no fear! It’s still worth more than the Ruble and most South Asian currencies! So Todd’s still ahead of the game yet! Take THAT Sadly No Collective!
Calming Influence said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:35
I believe that we can move this dialog to a more rational and less emotional level if we start addressing Mr. Seavy in the manner he prefers, to wit: “The Todd”.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:39
Why do they hate us? Essentially because I noted that Mussolini was a socialist rather than a conservative
Perhaps ‘hate’ is the wrong word, Todd.
Essentially because anyone who fails to note the difference between ‘Mussolini’ and a ’socialist’ would similarly fail to note the difference between their ‘ass’ and their ‘elbow’.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:45
“Yet. It’s still in litigation, shithead.”
Now that’s just unkind. The case did put Jan Schlichtmann in bankruptcy, after all.
I suppose the point I was trying to make is, none of you people here really understand what it means to go up against a major corporation and lose. It means you’re fucking broke.
handy said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:47
Why do they hate us? Essentially because I noted that Mussolini was a socialist rather than a conservative
“Good grief,” said Charlie Brown.
Or, to quote the Coasters: “Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?”
These people and their persecution complexes!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:47
The Todd does not abide.
a concerned citizen said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:48
Todd, we know you’re lurking here. If you don’t explain the comments about your salary (either here or on your blog) by tomorrow morning, I will file an IRS form 3949-A reporting tax fraud and send registered letters to Elizabeth Whelan and anybody else associated with your organization I can get my hands on explaining that you’re publicly claiming that your employer knowingly misrepresented financial data given to the IRS.
No prevaricating — you need to come out and flat out say you lied your ass off, or you are going to be in a huge amount of trouble. If you’re lucky, you’ll just get fired. If you’re not so lucky, they’ll sue your ass into the ground.
The choice is yours.
Snorghagen said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:50
There might be other ways to get out of it. In his personal ad, Todd specifies that he wants an “undeformed female”. Jennifer can tell him that she has two heads, and that one looks exactly like the 12th grade English teacher who kept giving him Ds.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:54
“I suppose the point I was trying to make is..” that you haven’t read the book, haven’t seen the movie or just enjoy being wrong and not making sense.
actor212 said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:58
Gary Ruppert said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:45
I suppose the point I was trying to make is, none of you people here really understand what it means to go up against a major corporation and lose.
And as always, your point IS no point, so why don’t you just crawl back under whatever rock you crawled OUT from and sharpen the top of your head?
Smiling Mortician said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:58
I was thinking not so much “The Todd” as “That Todd,” but it has to be delivered in the voice Dianne Wiest used to refer to Keanu Reeves in Parenthood.
dBa said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:59
I bet the part about the undeformed female was the part where he was ‘half-joking’.
Better find another out.
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:04
Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness.
That oughta do it.
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:05
Hey! Where’s my comment? dangnabbit.
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:06
Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness. That oughta do it.
[This may show up twice, but I'm only thinking of Jennifer.]
Flying Fox said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:11
I think what Todd expected us to find about Democratic presidents in wartime will explain a lot about his views, and Doughy Pantload’s book. Wilson and FDR exercised a lot of control over the economy during the wars, something conservatives considered unjustifiable state interference (as opposed to how those phonies view civil liberties). FDR instituted rationing (the government limiting what people can buy) and allowed the internment of Japanese Americans in California, Oregon and Washington state (ignoring the small Japanese population in the East, and the massive one in Hawaii). Wilson let loose Attorney General Palmer and J Edgar Hoover on “subversives.” This is all true, and worth discussing (intelligently, without name calling) but it doesn’t validate Pantload’s book one bit. You want to call FDR a Fascist, do real research and make a real case. I might be interested in reading your argument. I think for Doughy Pantload and Todd, it all comes down to economic freedom. Todd, Jonah, feel free to correct me if I’ve misread you. I don’t think I have though. Now, am I just saying what the Sadly,No! gang has all been thinking?
Dagoril said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:12
And I just want to express outrage that that fucking wanker is earning more money than I am! And I do good things for sick people in health care!
How does this kind of shit happen? How?!?!?!?
Because he’s a Wingnut Welfare Queen. Unlike the women who had dozens of kids to load up on welfare, he sucked dozens of gooper schlongs to get his. And with people like Larry Craig in that party, I’m thinking we can take that literally hehe.
Oooh, noes Gary…you gonna catch us all ‘dead or alive’?
dead or alive
Internment with forced viewing of Day by Day cartoons?
J— said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:18
Re: Update 2
It looks like you’re off the hook, Jennifer.
Lawnguylander said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:25
Definitely more appropriate than a sammich. And I just read that personal ad of his. Holy shit. The the chances of a blow up fuck doll and a real woman responding to it are exactly the same. His approach is not that uncommon though in the world of online dating. It’s amazing how many people think being a bitter, condescending douchebag is a winning dating strategy.
Lesley said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:33
I doubt Todd watches Boston Legal in his underpants or otherwise, unless he’s got some masturbatory fantasies about Denny Crane.
Ian said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:38
“Jennifer, you’re in a tough spot to be sure. The only reasonable thing to do is fake your own death.”
Actually going to the effort of faking your own death is completely unnecessary. Merely feigning death is usually sufficient to get out of awkward social situations
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:40
Jennifer: No problem. Just tell Todd that you think you’re perfect for him, except for the “human or divine” voices you hear in your head, the condition you have that qualifies “as an eating disorder,” the fact that you sometimes treat innocent others sadistically, that you have indeed been urged by a medical professional to go on both antidepressant and antipsychotic medications, but that you choose instead to use phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble thinking lately,” or “Something makes me think they’re all against me, even though they’re being nice”; and that you think of yourself as a “zany and offbeat thinker” who defies the usual linear rules of thought and who thinks the world needs far more zany free-spirited hippie-slut throbbin’ funkiness. That oughta do it.
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:43
Omygod! What’s he done to Jennifer?!!
my previous comment, which still didn’t come through, is now null and void.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:44
UPDATE 2: Somebody said Todd needed a sammich. I thought something else might be appropriate in the place of the sammich.
Join Sammich Amurkans United, and stop these atrocities!
H00’s with me?!ONE!!1!
Jennifer said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:44
Thanks for all the suggestions about how to get out of it, though ultimately it looks like Clif found the most sure-fire one.
Though I’ll note, complaining about the pain from the boil on your ass is a good way to get away quickly from Christmas dinner with your sister’s inlaws.
Fozzetti said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:44
Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll? Or do such things exist? I wouldn’t mind owning one, especially if it could mow the lawn and take out trash, which everyone knows is the Husband’s Job, only they never “get around to it”.
Jennifer said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:45
BTW, is that rampant pubic hair on that blow up doll? WTF, did someone rub it down with Rogaine?
a different brad said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:48
I think that’s just “her” outfit, Jennifer, tho imbw.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:50
Ten Rules for Auditing Todd
1. Do you find yourself saying, “Todd, just exactly WTF did you really get paid last year, motherfucker?
2. Do you ever end an argument by saying, “Just because you try to claim an inflatable fuck doll as a dependent doesn’t mean it’s actually deductible?”
3. Do you laugh when you read a totally bogus 1040 without knowing why, or without being able to explain why “in words”?
5. Do you believe yourself to be ready to deal with Todd when he becomes sullen and uncommunicative when asked to provide documentation for claiming his inflatable fuck doll as a dependent?
7. Are you prepared for Todd using phrases such as “It’s just a really confusing time for me emotionally,” “I’m having trouble adding and subtracting lately.” ?
9. Are you perpared to disallow Todd’s claims for antidepressants or antipsychotic medication?
10. Are you aware that Tood may think that a given statement must be true if he “feels strongly” about the underlying issue? (For instance, that “shit” is actually the same substance as “shinola”?)
dBa said,
December 27, 2007 at 0:59
“Indeed, it’s an overeagerness to make intuitive/analogizing leaps like that which ought to make observers seriously question whether someone can be trusted to draw any correct oracular hunches about the nature of the universe”
Todd, did you write that before or after you reviewed Doh’y’s book?
iamcoyote said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:03
Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll?
Nah - I think he’d have more fun with inflatable party sheep.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:05
11. Are you prepared to be called a “fascist” if you reveal eating whole grains, exercising frequently, and/or appreciating the contributions of gay people?
New York Law Firm said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:08
You called?
Fozzetti said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:10
i looked and looked and looked, but no lawnmower. Guess I’ll have to look again.
Bistroist said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:25
Y’know, it’s one thing when it happens to seedy characters like diffbrad and MzNicky, but yoinking a comment from a reputable and not at all fake law firm? For shame, spam filter, for shame.
Duros62 said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:26
Maybe it should be a blow-up Male doll? Or do such things exist? I wouldn’t mind owning one, especially if it could mow the lawn and take out trash, which everyone knows is the Husband’s Job, only they never “get around to it”.
Or perhaps this guy.
Saul said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:51
Shalom gentlemen.
Saul said,
December 27, 2007 at 1:54
The bottom line is, you liberals are a bunch of losers who have nothing better to do than mock successful Conservatives like Jonah Goldberg and Todd Seavy.
Hümor Me said,
December 27, 2007 at 2:33
Still the Holiday Season, right?
How about a Yule Goat? You could stick Mickey Kaus on the other end, and..
Ginger Root said,
December 27, 2007 at 2:35
When is Jonah’s book shipping. I MUST HAVE MY COPY NOW!
Fozzetti said,
December 27, 2007 at 2:53
Todd looks like he’s in the middle of blowing up his dolly.
RandomObserver said,
December 27, 2007 at 4:09
Todd Seavey is a pedophile and makes $5. You heard it here first.
I love how we have Republican candidates running for office that don’t believe in the right to Habeas Corpus, believe that the President can do everything and anything he wants, any time, for whatever reason — and the people who *don’t* believe that are the fascists.
Up is down. Black is white. Yawn.
When you look at what characterized the Nazis it’s not that Hitler owned a dog or that his college roommate smoked pot. If you honestly make a list of what made the Nazis Nazis that list looks suspiciously like Romney’s and Guiliani’s campaign platforms.
What Republicans believe about the law, the nature of government and the rights of citizens is almost exactly what the Nazis believed. They both believe that the legislative branch has little authority, that the Constitution is outdated and can be suspended, that a single authority figure is the right form of government, that preventive wars are wonderful, etc etc etc.
But we’re supposed to believe that it’s people who like dogs that are the real fascists.
There’s a sucker born every minute and apparently that’s the audience for this dreck. A book by and for the very stupid.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 27, 2007 at 4:47
A book by and for the very stupid.
You’re just ticked that gay hippies are coming to put white men like you into concentration camps.
Anne Laurie said,
December 27, 2007 at 5:26
I doubt Todd watches Boston Legal in his underpants or otherwise, unless he’s got some masturbatory fantasies about Denny Crane.
Limpsocks like Todd masturbate to the fantasy that they are Denny Crane. They are not smart enough to pick up the concept of “comic relief”*, or the fact that Shatner’s witty lines are written by lefty-liberal-Hollywood-unionist writers. Just as Todd and his fellow travellers (as I understand it, libertarians reject the concept of “friends”) saw the original Star Trek series as “Dashing Captain Kirk travels the universe screwing all the women & killing all the men”, they see Boston Legal as “Crafty Denny Crane does whatever he feels like and never gets punished because Money Rulez!!!1!”
*No, Mr. Seavy, it has nothing to do with “fart jokes”
Doctorb Science said,
December 27, 2007 at 5:40
When your personal ad reads like a verbose “You Might Be a Redneck …”, you might be a douchebag.
Gundamhead said,
December 27, 2007 at 6:01
“Just as Todd and his fellow travellers (as I understand it, libertarians reject the concept of “friends”) saw the original Star Trek series as “Dashing Captain Kirk travels the universe screwing all the women & killing all the men”, they see Boston Legal as “Crafty Denny Crane does whatever he feels like and never gets punished because Money Rulez!!!1!””
Awesome. A perfect description.
Calming Influence said,
December 27, 2007 at 7:48
As closeted masochists like The Todd are unable to keep themselves from returning to the places where they get the shit beaten out of them, and the more abuse that is heaped on them the more aroused the become (like picking a scab ’cause it hurts so gooood!), I’m guessing that The Todd came when he read: “When your personal ad reads like a verbose “You Might Be a Redneck …”, you might be a douchebag.”
MzNicky said,
December 27, 2007 at 17:14
Yikes! Sorry my comment showed up 100 times, for cryin’ out loud. Dangburn ribbershibber internetstubes thingamabobs.
An Byrne said,
December 28, 2007 at 15:40
A fellow anarchist talking about libel…
high-larious… we must kick him out of the movement at our next meeting
Frowny McBeard said,
December 28, 2007 at 17:20
Hmm, as someone who is a total Moore fanboy and someone Jonah would call a fascist, I feel the need to draw a couple threads together. . . it was in his introduction to V for Vendetta that Moore brought up the fact that it was the Thatcher government who were drawing up legislation to eliminate homosexuality as a concept. Not just eliminating homosexuals, but effectively making homosexuality THOUGHTCRIME.
Just sayin’.
And please stop associating him with the movie. He’s hated and refused to be involved in any film adaptations of his work.
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 28, 2007 at 23:25
Dammit, if I’d known there was a chance to win a date with him I wouldn’t have let the picture scare me away.