Conservatives Totally Get Satire
Might want to put down your “book” Brucey boy, there’s a young buck aiming for your crown.
Jeff (IloveCapitalism), The America’s Dumbest Homosexual Franchise:
Friday satire – from the Onion
You know who we haven’t looked in on in a while? Our good friend, B. Daniel Blatt, America’s Dumbest Homosexual™.
And well, I really should. When last we left our dear old love letter to self-hating minorities, he seemed to be on the edge. When he wasn’t bitter that a direct expansion of his rights were forcing forcing, I say, him to write some dismissive blather about how inferior it was to his failed attempt to try and write a book. Well, he was trying to start the saddest radio show in the history of man or sending cries for help disguised as vacation updates.
And well, it seems that the strain of being ol Brucey has gotten to the point that he’s mostly retired to the sidelines to let some new failure who goes by the oh-so-not-compensating for things handle of Jeff (ILoveCapitalism) (yeah, that nym handle is by far the largest thing on him).
Which brings up possibly the most important question of all.
Can Jeffy boy suck (as in being terrible, rather than the sexual act, because frankly, if any of these clowns actually did get some it might cure them of their constant unending hatred for all their kin. Though, I wouldn’t wish that fate on any gay, bi, pan, or allsexual man on the planet) as much as the King?
Only one way to find out.
Shorter* (or the last port before Jungle):
- I’m going to try and play a bizarre form of gotcha with a comedy website. I’m sure I’ll definitely come out ahead here… Ah, how could I have lost!
You know it’s said that wingnuts don’t understand satire…
Those people are 100% correct. And that’s largely because satire is at its best and most successful as part of an inherently anti-authoritarian action. Something to remove the gravitas of something that takes itself seriously, but has not truly earned the halo it exploits. Something to rip apart something fucked up but entrenched and point out the bizarre underlying logic that endures simply because people have gotten used to it. Something to point out the hack techniques or tropes that reinforce banality**.
Something to make one think. To question that which one has taken for granted. To afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted with dark comedy. It can be powerful to laugh at the truly horrifying reality some communities face. It can make it hurt less.
And it’s this aspect that makes it a mystery that is seen as inherently dangerous and vile to the right wing.
After all, their arguments work best when people don’t question things, accept the tropes of “it’s always been so” without concern, and give nothing but dour respect to those who deserve nothing but scorn. Fear empowers their narratives, as much as comedy, empathy, or simply being vocal empowers the basic humanity of everyone else.
It’s part and parcel of the general inability of the right-wing to understand the essence of comedy. Unable to understand why just reversing the barbs cast upwards at those who abuse and destroy don’t work as well when thrown downwards on those without power.
That being said…
There’s not understanding satire and then there’s… well, let me just post the whole thing. It’s not that long (not the only time any of the ADH crew hear that).
Report: There Only 17 Total Square Miles On Earth Where Gays Not Discriminated Against
P.S. If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious to joke about (and it is, in some places): then please re-think your willingness (if any) to excuse Islamist dictatorships, and/or your opposition to gun rights.
Yeah… yeah.
So let’s start at the beginning.
The article itself is actually a pretty brutal Onion article sledgehammering the ubiquity of anti-gay discrimination, violence, and loss of civil rights. It’s in every regard, exactly the sort of article that would comfort the afflicted or those who care about the abuses that gay people face even in the “improving” cultures happening worldwide…
Yanno, if any of the Quisling Brigade actually gave a fuck about gay rights as anything other than an occasional cudgel to beat Middle Eastern cultures over the head with.
Which might explain the whole… everything else.
Okay, now let me break out the mango-dissection tools, let’s see, biohazard containment suit…
P.S. If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious
Every time wingnuts and other defenders of the status quo try and play “gotcha” with a minority population, it’s always such an amazing own goal and demonstration that these overprivileged fucks couldn’t bother to understand even the most rudimentary aspect of their opponent’s position.
I mean, here we get an attempt at pulling a “PC culture” gotcha trying to argue that oh, those liberals say that rape jokes and “jokes” about tying queers to fenceposts aren’t funny, so ha, that must mean that liberals hate all humor about so-called “serious subjects”.
Which A) No. That’s not how it works. And B) the gotcha loses a little impact when it’s so transparently fake and disingenuous. Actual complaints by those hurt or triggered by “jokes” that only serve to bully oppressed populations or continue terrorism against them come from genuine pain. Which is something this bizarre “request” clearly lacks… among other things.
to joke about (and it is, in some places):
You know. Some places. Those places where there’s a lot of (whisper)brown(/whisper) people. But not the areas of brown people where white American conservatives are trying to install an anti-gay theocratic government. More the… well, just the muslimy countries really. We need some hippie claptrap excuse to bomb them to protect something now that our hallow pretenses of helping the women of the area is universally accepted as the bitter joke it always was.
then please re-think your willingness
I think this may be my favorite part. Because ol’ Jeffy’s post is not even 40 words long if you don’t count the Onion article title.
And yet somehow he managed to get lost in his own bullshit in the middle of his ONE and ONLY ONE sentence.
How do you even manage that?
So yeah, not even one comma in and he’s already castrated himself (eh, he didn’t need them) on his false “hey liberals, aren’t some things off limits” pose by deciding:
“Durr, liberals get offended by shit and say ‘that’s not funny’, so I’m going to pretend to be cross at this article using humor to bring home a liberal point about homophobia… hey, if the comedy writers are liberals then they must be the humorless prudes too, so they must agree that things aren’t funny so they must be just as mad at their own article and agree with my bizarre strawman allowing me to pull out other strawmen to set on fire in a brilliant pyromaniacal haze.”
To which I say, oh, Jeff, honey… you might just make it after all to the pinnacled heights of being the Worst Homosexual™!
(if any)
Gotcha, liberal!
Yeah, I see you there! Leaking that straw everywhere. Not so funny now when I’ve got your stake. Oh noes! Iz falling on me! Make the liberal stop attacking my family values!
to excuse Islamist dictatorships,
It is impressive how much right-wingers suffer from Jihad envy. Wah, you’re always making fun of our systems of oppression instead of catering to our petty hatreds and picking easy targets considering the base of power in the countries where these articles are written.
Also, um, the article kinda rips into all cultures, not really leaving anyone that off the hook for the global problem of homophobia. But I guess, if it doesn’t exclusively focus on muslim countries, then it might as well be ignoring them in the world of the wingnut.
I suppose it’s the same logic that makes it anti-Christian discrimination whenever a single TV show or media source acknowledges the existence of people who aren’t white, straight cisgendered Christian males.
I apologize completely. It’s not that wingnuts don’t understand satire.
It’s that they despise it.
They despise people making fun of their bullshit for being stupid and people not showing them respect simply because they reinforce the traditional narratives even to the point of abasing themselves like Jeff and Bruce.
Oh, they understand when someone is using satire and just what it is saying about sad sacks like the folks at Gay Putzriot. And they hold a grudge for as long as they can. Even if it means looking like a complete fuckwad who can’t even understand that trying to concern troll a comedy site is like trying to suck up the pacific ocean with a straw.
Not only is it impossible, but it just makes you look like the undateable git you are to all the fine surfer dudes running by.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I supposed it’s kind of both of them to remove themselves from the dating pool so thoroughly and thus protect any unsuspecting queer dudes the utter horror that would entail. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Barely.
**Such as the ones employed in every single one of my posts. Yeah, I’ve been phoning it in since about August 2012
Frist!!!11one
That seems to be a pretty predominant blindspot. I suppose for some number of them, they truly believe that not being able to force their values on everyone* is the worst thing evar, totally overshadowing the fact that their values are pretty much what everyone has to observe, or at least give lio service to.
*See the forced childbirth movement. Since they profess to believe that a blastocoele or a fetus is at least as much a real human being as the woman in whose body it resides (and face it, if it’s XY, it’s more important), they define all abortion (and birth control of any type, if they’re honest) as murder. Therefore any action they take us completely defensible.
LIP service.
P.S. If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious to joke about (and it is, in some places): then please re-think your willingness (if any) to excuse Islamist dictatorships, and/or your opposition to gun rights.
I get the part about excusing Islamist dictatorships (even though it’s hard to find any instance of it from the left) but how gun rights are related to anti-gay discrimination eludes me. Is it his contention that arming gays will reduce/eliminate anti-gay discrimination? That interpretation seems to align with the right’s gun-love as the hammer to every problem which always conveniently presents itself a nail.
Was catching up on the other thread downstairs and want to say that I love it that we are the ones to alert the fold to a hitherto yet unexplored new deck on the boat.
By the by, it is my intention to attempt the murder of a maximum multiplicity of metaphors in a single sentence.
Now to peruse the new.
🙂
…
ps. sorry I missed the meetup yesterday. Work decided that I was the “red-headed stepchild of a broken-down, rented, pack mule” and decided to beat me in the fashion usually associated. I didn’t get out till nearly 5:00.
…
A couple of things, the first comment:
To which I say, “well played”.
And “About gay patriot” contains the following:
Relevant.
…
So, does concern-trolling the Onion pay well? Because if so I’ll start practicing sniffy lip-pursing right now!
P.S. If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious to joke about (and it is, in some places): then please re-think your willingness (if any) to excuse Islamist dictatorships, and/or your opposition to gun rights.
There’s pretty much no topic that one cannot joke about, but there’s a difference between genuine jokes and a hamfisted attempt to deflect criticism of bigoted, even eliminationist talk. No, you can’t pass a fantasy about killing gay people, or liberals, off as a joke.
This just in, gay-marriage joke: Barney Frank on NPR- “At the end of my tenure in congress, my marriage to Jim was more socially acceptable than my political career.”
Shitting through undies on an office chair is unwise.
.
This all makes me think of Daniel Tosh’s rape “joke”. It wouldn’t have been funny if his female heckler had been raped right then but it would have been perversely funny if Tosh got raped because that would be ironic. In fact the Onion had an article where Tosh gets raped.
However I feel guilty about finding a rape as punishment joke funny. I hate prison rape jokes.
I may have a response for Bruce. Let’s see if this works.
If by “see if this works,” you mean can people other than you see it, then yes.
If you mean the advice for him, while I know nothing about the man, I suspect he’s already doing it, and it doesn’t seem to have helped. At leadt, I hope not, because that would imply he was even worse.
Thanks for the confirmation VC.
For Les Nuits d’Wing any brand of humour’s gotta be all about the alpha-wannabe headtrip & the hurting, whereas satire is sort of all about the details & the accuracy of the simulacrum. A poor satire isn’t a poor joke … it’s no bloody joke at all.
See THE HALF HOUR NEWS HOUR for details … if you can bear the stench.
The cruelest cut of all? None of these screeching mooks are ever going to be a tenth as good at taking the piss out of liberals as other liberals are – & some of the most ugly shots get some of the loudest & merriest LOLs.
An attentive reader can see flashes of analogous activity on Freeperland threads when they’re caught with their collective junk wedged in a particularly egregious faulty-logic or own-goal wasp’s nest, but even then it’s usually soaked in the same bile as everything else in their reality-tunnel (a panorama as roomy as a fiber optic filament & as bright as the inside of a monkey’s arse at midnight).
tl;dr – If your interior laff-track doesn’t kick in when you pass by a mirror, consult your optometrist.
Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, your precious Obummer is having some poopy summer! He said the terrorists were on the run, but then he had to close embassies! What a chumpzilla, ya dig? Baddodle-boo-yeah!
Check it before you wreck it, silly socialists: This creates a perfect SPREAD of OPPORTUNITY for Super Sarah, the Power Palin, to take down Hillary KKKlinton in 2016! Ding dong dilly! You just got owned by Da Cool Coach! Urban out.
Stop excusing Muslins because they are homophobes now excuse me I have to jerk it before my shrine to Vladimir Putin, brave strong defender of capitalism and Christian values!
Can we joke about non-sequiturs?
Sure but that would be as modular as a wet baby’s windshield.
Whew. Teh Ho’s motorpickle is reassembled and running like a champ. I came THIS CLOSE to screwing up the cam timing. Kept fitting the cams, checking the marks, counting out dowels on the chain… It just didn’t “feel” right. Just before I fully reassembled all the stuff in the top of the head (having just torqued down the head – new valves and such) I checked the Suzi service manual JUST TO BE SURE. SURE ENOUGH, you’re supposed to count chain dowels from the mark on the cam, starting with the one directly above the mark. I started counting at the NEXT link/dowel.
THAT WAS CLOSE!
Imma slug down some cold gin now. I deserve it.
Stop excusing Muslins because they are homophobes…
I want to assume the above to be a typo, nearly as much as I wish to assume it an attempt to start the “ThreadCount Wars”
…
If you feel that anti-gay discrimination is too serious to joke about (and it is, in some places): then please re-think your willingness (if any) to excuse Islamist dictatorships
Nope, there ain’t any. Or Christianist dictatorships, or Zionist ones, or the movements that are intent on bringing them about. Thanks for checking.
Can you say the same?
Somehow, I doubt it.
Is it his contention that arming gays will reduce/eliminate anti-gay discrimination?
I think that’s the gist of it. With the obvious implication being that violence against gays is the only “discrimination” they need fear, because I’m not sure how carrying a gun would prevent a gay person from getting fired if they’re gay, or being denied visitation rights if they’re gay, or being denied the right to marry or adopt oif they’re gay. But I suppose if the problem isn’t one that can be solved with a gun, their eyes just glaze over.
Well, obviously if you’re fired, or denied visitation rights, just whip out your gun and hold the nearest person hostage! That’s how gun-prevention works!
If I don’t like what you’re doing, I have a gun to make you stop doing it.
Forever.
Hey, you guys didn’t “moderate” Da Cool Coach fer Crissakes, did ya? WTF?
Gettin’ a mite trigger happy in here, sez I.
Hey, you guys didn’t “moderate” Da Cool Coach fer Crissakes, did ya? WTF?
Ding dong dilly, it wasn’t I, and that’s a spread of the truth! I haven’t seen Urban around in a while. Badoodle boo-ya, I’ll look into this.
Yeah, Cool Coach nuked at 22:07. As much as I think Da Cool Coach is funny, I wouldn’t reinstate the comment, leaving this to the proprietors.
I’ve followed Jeff’s advice to rethink my opposition to gun rights.
When I was a child, seeing a deer was an exciting event. Today, the deer population has expanded to the point that I’ve turned into a grumpy old man shouting at the deer to keep off my lawn. If we had more guns and hunters, that would reduce the deer population to a reasonable level, and deer would regain the status of lovable Bambi.
So I now realize that by opposing the right of gun owners to hunt gays, I was not only harming the gun owners, but I was also failing to consider the long term effect of my position on the gays themselves. Hunting gays may seem cruel, but ending the practice would lead to discrimination against gays in hiring, housing, and more. I am firmly opposed to discrimination against gays, and offer my sincerest apologies to Jeff for ever suggesting that it would be wrong for someone to hunt Jeff down and shoot him.
I am firmly opposed to discrimination against gays, and offer my sincerest apologies to Jeff for ever suggesting that it would be wrong for someone to hunt Jeff down and shoot him.
Indeed, hunting these noble creatures, eating their muscles and selected organs, and subjecting their heads to taxidermy and wall-mounting would be the highest forms of respect.
I have even heard that grinding up gay bones and consuming them medicinally can increase a straight man’s sexual stamina and potency!
Hunting gays may seem cruel, but
Your modest proposal interests me, but I insist we must only kill those whom we intend to eat.
I don’t want gays with marvelous taste, I want gays that taste marvelous!!
Or faaabulous, even.
[Raises hand]
‘Twas I nuked the Coach. I didn’t realize he was a character around here. I looked at other posts from the same IP, mostly under the Coach name, and they were almost identical. If he’s kind of a Blog Pet the same way the Garys are, feel free to put him back. I don’t think he really contributed much to the conversation, myself.
‘Twas I nuked the Coach. I didn’t realize he was a character around here. I looked at other posts from the same IP, mostly under the Coach name, and they were almost identical. If he’s kind of a Blog Pet the same way the Garys are, feel free to put him back. I don’t think he really contributed much to the conversation, myself.
He doesn’t show up as often as Gary, and the performance is pretty much a standard, with some seriously cracked verbal tics, like the “wuzza-wuzzup loony libs?” and nonsense like “ding dong dilly” and “badoodle boo-ya!” If he posted more often, the effect would be annoying, but his rare posts are like a melamine-tainted foreign candy bought at a questionable bodega, bad for your brain, but a treat nonetheless.
The fact that he’s posting under the name of a real person just makes it funnier to me, but I can see how not everyone digs Urban.
To moderate a snark blog = being a nazi.
Does this brown shirt and armband make me look fat?
I see myself as more of the b-movie corrupt sheriff in mirrored sunglasses type.
You in a heap o’ trouble boy.
I think he likes you DA. This is so cool. You’ve got your very own creepy internet stalker.
The badger ladder begins.
.
What did you say?
This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real comment it would say PENIS. This concludes this test of the PMS,N! system.
What link is it bitching about? You mean it’s still obsessing from the previous thread, the one two days dead?
What link is it bitching about?
Who the fuck cares? BADGERS, DO YOUR STUFF!
.
The link was disappeared. As Ten Bears says, no fear.
… and she’s buyyyyyyyy-ing a laaaa-dder of badgers…
.
Badgers would explain that bustle in the hedgerow.
Leans on fender of ’72 Dodge patrol car.
Adjusts mirrored sunglasses.
Lifts flap on holster.
Rests hand on grip of .357 service revolver.
You boys gonna keep up this here nonsense all day?
Yes, I’ve watched way too many old movies.
Ya nuke 16 trolls
And whaddya get?
Another day older
And a sad clarinet
Coach Urban don’t ya call me
‘Cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the Sadly, Noes…………………
Brought back the cool coach. Much like our fair Earth, he’s mostly harmless.
One and a half kilos deer sirloin, 1/2 k pork shoulder, cubed and browned, three large yellow onions, diced, added to fry, head of garlic, peeled and chopped, cumin, coriander and oregano toasted and ground, ground pasilla and New Mexico chilis, half kilo dry black beans , soaked overnight, a liter plus of rich stock, canned tomatoes, two habaneros, some wild epazote. Simmer two 1/2 hours. It ain’t chili but it’s durned good.
I love the Cool Coach. Thanks!
It ain’t chili but it’s durned good.
Sounds better than chili actually.
Badgers would explain that bustle in the hedgerow.
As the kids would say, I LOLed.
It ain’t chili but it’s durned good.
Ever think of throwing some posole in there?
Posole would be excellent. When I was married posole was banned but those rules are no longer in force.
They’d call that chili in New Mexico. Red Chili. Beef and chiles and onions and cumin, braised in tomato until it’s fork tender. They’d serve the beans on the side, though.
There’s also a Green Chili made with roasted tomatillos and green chili peppers, sometimes pumpkin seeds, that’s traditionally done to pork.
I’m doing country style ribs in Carolina yellow barbecue sauce right now. Nicely browned on a hot grill, then braised and after they finish slow cooking I’m gonna pull ’em apart and mix ’em with more sauce. Saffron rice and some pintos on the side tonite, and weeknight sandwiches with the leftovers… and more sauce.
Maurice’s politics suck, but his sauce is fucking awesome.
It ain’t chili but it’s durned good.
Ever think of throwing some
posolebadger in there?Venado, jitomate, frijol, posole y chili es comida Mexica (Nahuatl) mui autentica.
Believe me bug I’m pretty familiar with the various arguments about what is and isn’t chili, including in NM. It’s significant that in a country that produces as many kinds of chili as Mexico they import a lot of New Mexico chili.
Hatch chile festival next week! (I think. It’s always on labor day so….)
I’m doing lamb ribs. I haven’t tried this recipe before.
You make a paste of olive oil, garlic and fresh basil and coat the ribs with it. You finish it with a glaze made from balsamic vinegar and apricot jam.
Ya, I waxed pedantic for the benefit of our midwestern hot dish lurkers.
Or something like that.
Yeah I’ve been getting PR from the Hatch folks. When I lived in Jersey many years ago one could buy the lamb rib ends for cheap in big bags. Got so I really liked lamb ribs, mostly marinated in rosemary and garlic and grilled. Apricot glaze is always a nice touch.
“It is impressive how much right-wingers suffer from Jihad envy.”
True. But as far as who’s funny, I think they suffer more the loss of the good ol’ days when the most witless could make even a mirthless joke a hilarious knee-slapper simply by salting it words such as “coon,” “spic,” “fag” “dyke”….
Speaking of balsamic vinegar.
Saffron lemon chicken. Got the idea from the Fat Ladies long ago. All I remember is grilled or broiled chicken with a sauce featuring lemon and saffron. Salad is a fanned avocado half on a bed of cress, artfully topped with a slice of crisp applewood bacon (excellent quality from a local purveyor of course), drizzled with lemon juice and olive oyl. I’ll probably make some pasta too. Dessert is local cherries in puff pastry – strudel, turnovers, whatever you want to call it.
Since learning the easy way to make puff pastry
Fuck you Nexus / chrome.
Since learning from Michel Richard (by way of Julia Child) the easy way to make it we’ve been having rather often.
. When I lived in Jersey many years ago one could buy the lamb rib ends for cheap in big bags.
Once in a blue moon, I can get breast of lamb for cheap, but it’s very fatty. Of course, I render out the fat and use it to cook (I tend to use a mix of lamb fat and olive oil when I make bulgur pilaf). That being said, lamb tends to be very expensive these days.
I remember when lamb shanks were cheap, I’d make braised lamb shanks at least once every two weeks.
I need to bring my puff pastry into the 21st century.
Gonna write a puff piece?
[Ducks]
When it meant chilling a granite slab and working cold cubed butter into the flour, making an awful mess no matter how careful, I rarely made it. Google up Michel Richard Julia child puff pastry – some subset of those terms ought to work – and watch the vid. SO EASY!
The lamb ribs were awesome.
As for Smyt’s link, wannabe brewers challenging me to be ‘freaky’ enough to pay them money for their terrible ideas in extreme beer? Nuh uh.
BBBB, are you getting the blue moon that we’re getting on the 20th? Not sure how the azure travels between hemispheres…
El Manquécito said, August 18, 2013 at 21:34
You might want to prepare yourself for a shock, EM: chillies of all sorts will be suffering from climate change. Other things to suffer: beer, coffee, chocolate, wine, and maple syrup, among others (obligatory blog-pimping warning).
Looks like the decades ahead will be pretty drab and lifeless, at least for those who like tasty things. 🙁
Looks like the decades ahead will be pretty drab and lifeless
So, we’ve got that to look forward to.
BBBB, are you getting the blue moon that we’re getting on the 20th? Not sure how the azure travels between hemispheres…
I’m pretty sure it just refers to a second full moon in the space of a month. I usually defer to Nanci Griffith in these matters.
[…] Conservatives Totally Get Satire […]
New post.
I thought da Cool Coach was a particularly infuriating parody troll. For one thing he’s as relentlessly upbeat as Ned Flanders, kind of the opposite of your typical annoying obsessive, ragey, needs-a-hobby Trolling Liberal Blogs Iz Sirius Business troll. I keep wanting to type trool. As in drooling tool? Not sure. Although drooling on a tool sounds very Japanese hentai manga.
I hate Urban Meyer. It has nothing to do with football per se. Just… fuck him.