One Ring To Rule Them All
Kim Priestap, one of the dimmest bloggers at Cheez Whiz? Dang!, has been sitting up in the wilds of lovely Mio, Michigan spitting and fuming ever since that story about Michelle Obama’s secret champagne and caviar lunch turned out to be a hoax. Imagine her delight when she caught wind of the rumor that B. Hussein Muslim X was going to buy Michelle a 300 trillion dollar ring and then install her as head of his harem:
Barack Obama is so thankful for his wife’s support during his campaign that he’s buying her a rare rhodium and diamond ring that costs $30,000. I love jewelry as much as the next girl, but this is a bit over the top. I know, it’s his money, so he can spend it as he wishes, yet this looks a bit…out of touch. Here we are enduring a terrible recession. Investors have lost trillions of dollars in the stock market. Americans are losing their jobs, and at Christmas time no less. Spending $30,000 on a piece of jewelry doesn’t represent the compassion or the hope and change that he espoused throughout the campaign.
Now that’s a story too good to check on Google, Kimbo was no doubt thinking, and so she didn’t. Of course, sooner or later some liberal troll was bound to come by and point out, with linkie and everything, that the story was, like the caviar lunch, a steaming pile of bullshit and CheezWhiz on a saltine cracker.
But, ooooh nooooo, some liberal troll is not going to outsmart a famous CheezWhizDang blogger like our Kimbo, who issues this update in response:
[T]he Obama camp is denying that President-Elect is purchasing the rhodium ring. As I said earlier in my post, this kind of purchase, although completely within his right, is inconsistent with the persona he presented to America during the campaign. I’m not surprised he’s denying it.
In other words: “Liar, liar, American Express Card on fire!” Of course Barry would lie about it. If he lied when he said he wasn’t a Muslim terrorist in order to get elected, you think he wouldn’t lie about a $30,000 ring also?
Needless to say, a trip by the keyboard-challenged Kimbo back to Google would have put a kabosh on her latest spin by revealing that the Italian designer who was supposed to design the ring also called the whole story a steaming pile of bullshit and carpaccio on a bruschetta.
I anxiously await Ms. Priestap’s next update where she says that Barry, who after all probably killed his own grandmother to keep his Kenyan birth certificate under wraps, threatened to kill the ring designer as well if he didn’t keep his big fat Italian bocca shut. “I’m not surprised the pasta-eating pansy is denying it,” she’ll huff. “If Barry X wants to prove he didn’t buy that ring, he’ll have to cut off both of Michelle’s hands. Muslims do that sort of thing, you know. It shouldn’t be all that hard for him.”
I don’t understand — why isn’t Obama just buying his wife an American flag with which to show his love, and why isn’t Michelle asking for that instead? Or mabye those flags are too ritzy and she can make do with a POW-MIA sticker.
I heard a rumor that Obama was one of the terrorists on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11! He’s denying it, but he would, wouldn’t he?
Shorter Kimmy:
“Heads I win, tails Obama loses. HAH!”
Speaking of Kim, you do know that Kim DuToit has quit blogging, right?
What? No snarky rejoinder? I figured that news would rate it’s own post.
you do know that Kim DuToit has quit blogging
Too bad, so sad.
It’s good to see goober is making comically delayed reactions his signature around here.
Wasn’t there an SNL sketch where some guy responded to what his friends were talking about like 15 minutes ago? That’s goober.
They have bloggers in Mio now? Dang, last I knew they had just been hooked up to running water. Sure killed the fun of outhouse-tipping, let me tell you.
one of the dimmest bloggers at Cheez Whiz? Dang!
Not wishing to be picky, but the how fuck do you rank these idiots?
Of course no mention of Cindy McCain’s $300,000 worth of jewelry during the convention…
Clif, Clif, Clif.
What’s important here is not the mere matter of whether or not Obama actually purchased the ring in question.
It’s the fact that PEOPLE BELIEVE HE COULD HAVE DONE SO!
you do know that Kim DuToit has quit blogging
I’d say Kim DuToit never really started blogging. But I suppose that’s picking nits.
As for $30K rings, if I bought my wife one I guarantee she’d consider that an act representative of compassion, hope, and change.
Damn tag-close failure.
i understand he bought the ring from african press internation. that mr. korir sure is industrious, branching out from handbags and all.
As for $30K rings, if I bought my wife one I guarantee she’d consider that an act representative of compassion, hope, and change.
I guarantee my wife would ask: What have you done now?
$30,000 for a ring? Bah. What a cheapskate. Surely Ms. Priestap misread this totally believable and not-made-up story and it’s really a bazillion-googleplex-jillion-dollar ring, given the well-known fact that the Obamas are vulgar and ostentatious in their materialism.
I hear the Obamas ride around in LIMOSINES and everything. They’re so ostentatious!
Of course no mention of Cindy McCain’s $300,000 worth of jewelry during the convention…
Of course, it’s socialistic to question the McCains’ use of their money, which is a reflection of their great entrepreneurial success at being born to wealthy beer distributors and/or marrying someone who was. Risk and reward, my friend.
The Obamas, on the other hand, are uppity Negroes whose wealth by its very nature suggests corruption, and whose use of that wealth is an indication that they don’t know their place.
Now can I have some wingnut welfare, please?
What about the two other members of this Luo tribesman’s harem, what are they getting? The fur is going to fly when those two girls–neither of them are even 18 yet, my friends–realize it’s no $30,000 trinkets for them.
In all seriousness, who’d blame Barry if he bought his wife a little something ($3 grand at least) for her brave soldiering on the campaign trail. I guess that’s what I hate the most about this stupid trolling; it hypothesizes some kindness from a man to his wife as an elitist, anti-American gesture. Well, this won’t be the worst of it.
Dan Riehl is giving it his all this morning:
http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2008/12/the-obama-birth-certificate-issue.html
There’s still so much we don’t know about Obama!!
“Rhodium” sounds like “Rhodesia.” Coincidence?
Kim Priestap has yet to deny holding down the goat at one of Mickey Kaus’s ‘special meetings’.
I’m not surprised she’s staying so quiet on the matter.
There’s still so much we don’t know about Obama!!
Y’know, there’s a lot that I, by which I mean we, don’t know about Abraham Lincoln. I think we should go back and de-president his ass until he comes clean about whatever it is that I (we) don’t know.
Just because we think we see something and it turns out there’s nothing there doesn’t mean that there’s not something there that we don’t see.
First comment out of the gate at the CheezWhiz post:
Not even president yet and he’s already wasting our hard-earned taxpayers’ money!! On expensive baubles for Michelle!!11!! Socialist!!11!!!!1!!!
and even if it were true – Sakes alive!! Barack Obama’s going to use his own money to purchase an item of his choice!!
~ Faints away…..
Rhodium?
Damn near killed him!
“The mere fact that he actually didn’t do that thing I said just goes to prove how much he did what I said he did!”
I’m pretty sure this is the kind of mindset that keeps people thinking something happened at Roswell.
The only ring Kim Priestap can get
Is the one at the end of her nose, her nose,
The one at the end of her nose.
Spending one’s money that one earned – on an expensive item for one’s own wife – is the most socialist thing one can do! This has ALWAYS been the most socialist thing one can do.
What can you do with someone like this?
We need to tell her that Obama is going to send all white women to Pleasure Reeducation Camps, and she had better run for the hills. If everyone on earth denies their existance, that proves that Kim is only a few moments away from being pleasureized and sold to a some Middle Eastern accountant.
Obama is buying his wife a ring with a compass that always points towards MECCA!!!!!
Kim Du Toit has stopped smashing his Cheeto and feces covered fingers randomly on the computer keyboard.
Terrible loss.
Now about that about that uppity president possibly spending his own money on his own wife.
Outrageous!
-GSD
I love jewelry as much as the next girl, but this is a bit over the top. I know, it’s his money, so he can spend it as he wishes, yet this looks a bit…out of touch. Here we are enduring a terrible recession. Investors have lost trillions of dollars in the stock market. Americans are losing their jobs, and at Christmas time no less. Spending $30,000 on a piece of jewelry doesn’t represent the compassion or the hope and change that he espoused throughout the campaign.
Owning seven (or eight, or nine, or 33) houses? Not out of touch.
Having the President fly in on Air Force One to celebrate your birthday instead of seeing to the victims of Katrina? Not out of touch.
Buying your wife of decades a $30,000 ring, less than the price of a fucking CAR?
OHNOES! HE BE OUTTA TOUCH!
Obama is buying his wife a ring with a compass that always points towards MECCA!!!!!
Obviously! But no one realized that it was being hidden in his turban this entire time. You know, the one held for him at the NOI Mothership?
Susan of Texas: I like that idea. Someone should start a bunch of similar flamingly idiotic rumors and plant them cunningly around the InterTubes. Fucking wingnutz’ll believe anything! Then they’ll get all bent out of shape over stupid stuff and look like total morons! Ha ha! Oh yeah wait, that already happens everyday.
I can see it now – Obama finally takes pity on Faux News and calls on their “reporter” in a presser, and s/he asks: “So where are you buying that 300 trillion dollar ring for Michele from? And I have a follow up – does it mean you stopped beating her?”
“Rhodium” sounds like “Rhodesia.” Coincidence?
No! Good catch. That’s why it’s called Zimbabwium (Zw) on newer periodic tables.
Wait, what’s this I hear about Obama buying his daughters a $30,000 puppy?
Copulating with goats, although completely within her right, is inconsistent with the persona Ms. Priestap presented to America, or at least, Mio, MI. I’m surprised she’s not denying it.
I love the commenters “agreeing” that Obama has the “right” to spend his own money on whatever the fuck he wants. Thanks, guys!
If everyone on earth denies their existance, that proves that Kim is only a few moments away from being pleasureized and sold to a some Middle Eastern accountant.
I will give her father 10 camels for this pretty blonde beast. A prenuptial visit to the official Pleasure Reeducation Camp shall warrant a 5 camel premium.
I will give her father 10 camels for this pretty blonde beast. A prenuptial visit to the official Pleasure Reeducation Camp shall warrant a 5 camel premium.
Could you throw in a pile of dung, too?
Shows what a you know. You must be one of those urban liberal types.
Outhouses are not for tipping. They are for being picked up and moved precisely 2.5 feet backwards.
And yes, that *does* put the hole just inside the door. Why do you ask?
Ms. Priestap appears to very effectively represent the new conservatives. She, and they, will believe anything and facts be damned.
Don’t knock Mio, Michigan. It’s on the Au Sable river, with great trout fishing, and is near several state and national forests where hunting is pretty good too.
They even have a McDonalds if that counts for anything.
Oh my god, all you had to do was say she’s from Mio. My mother’s family had a summer cabin in Mio in the 1950s, and nothing has changed since then.
In all fairness, $30,000 would almost buy you a decent house in Mio.
In no fairness, who the fuck cares about what people from Mio think? You could almost buy a house for $30,000 which says something about the desirability of living next door to people from Mio, MI.
One little anonymous comment and woah, hey there! Look at all the free advertising that Italian designer Giovanni Bosco gets for his gaudy rings.
I’m sure that’s a complete coincidence.
“Rhodium” sounds like “Rhodesia.” Coincidence?
No! Good catch. That’s why it’s called Zimbabwium (Zw) on newer periodic tables.
Funny, I always thought it was named for Randy Rhodes.
Obama is buying a lion for his children so that they can feed Christians to them in the new coliseum being built in the Cheney bunker.
-GSD
Given how completely she missed the point about Bible Spice’s infamous video, this is hardly surprising. She’s probably working on her next scoop about the rumor that Michelle is going to have a car that’s almost as nice as one of Cindy McCain’s.
Urban liberal types? Yeah, if Auburn qualifies as a metropolis. We Tri-City denizens do tend to look down on the yokels, though. Must be something in the water.
Mio isn’t a bad place, just has a bad apple or two. Canoeing on the Au Sable is a great way to kill an afternoon, or even a weekend.
Bella, is your mom from Detroit, too? The reason for those small towns was to provide summer cabins for the people who achieved middle-class status from the auto industry. Now their purpose is to produce resentment and bitterness.
As the story originated with the Daily Mail, it probably is a spoof unlike the story that Barack Obama has ordered that his face be added to Mt. Rushmore which really is true.
Hey, we were resentful and bitter WAY before the auto workers started vacationing around here. Only East Lansing has more drunks per square foot, and we’re damn proud of that. PBR, anyone?
That should have been:
As the story originated with the Daily Mail, it probably is a spoof unlike the story that Barack Obama has ordered that his face be added to Mt. Rushmore which really is true.
I always thought it was named for Randy Rhodes.
You’re thinking of Crazytrainium (Cz).
thunder’s point–
“It’s the fact that PEOPLE BELIEVE HE COULD HAVE DONE SO!”
–gave me a moment’s experience of smartness in my brain:
They live in a parallel universe. Call it the Conditional Cosmos, where what *could* be is as signif as what is. Thus, Kim might conclude, triumphantly, with the by-now-wingnut-cliche, “Apparently the rhodium ring story was a false rumor. But what does it say about Obama, that many people thought it *could* be true?”
I know we know this. I’m just struck by the thought that that approach to what the rest of us carefully refer to as “reality” could constitute an entire mode of existence.
“Could”? DOES! Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, parallel-universe physicists.
Oy. I’m from Mio. I feel like I owe you all an apology. We’re not all nuts, really.
It only emphasizes her point.
Mr Wonderful – The thing is, like everything else the wingnuts do, it’s a perversion of a hint of a smidgeon of the truth. If a sensible person hears that Conservative Scumbag X is involved in shady dealings, they may give the story more credence than it eventually turns out to deserve, because Conservative Scumbag X has a proven, well-documented history of shady dealings.
For wingnuts, on the other hand, each bullshit, wingnut-manufactured story about Liberal Y is backed up only by a string of other bullshit, wingnut-manufactured stories about Liberal Y.
And if you think there’s any moral difference between these two examples, you’re a fascist.
If everyone on earth denies their existance, that proves that Kim is only a few moments away from being pleasureized and sold to a some Middle Eastern accountant.
I think I read that issue of “Leg Show”.
(…WHAT?!?!)
And how do we know Obama didn’t buy that ring after all and use his nefarious Illumnati Antichrist Jedi neuromatomic mind tricks to hide the fact from us?
No, he’s buying his daughters $30k worth of the “Islam is Light” talking dolls from a few posts ago. Puppies! Never.
Ah, Fantasy Land! I used to think I’d like to live there myself.
But from what I hear leaking out of there the last few years, I’ve decided to try for a shack at the beach instead.
Its not an apt comparison…Cindy McCain doesn’t give a fuck about poor people, so she can spend her money any way she likes.
Once you’ve expressed sympathy for people less well-off than you, common decency demands that you must also live in abject poverty. Everybody knows that!
Besides, if Obama really wanted to thank his wife, he’d call her a trollop and/or cunt in earshot of some reporters, the way Real American Heroes(tm) do.
Dammit all…that ™ looked like a ™ in preview…
Something about this Kim Priestap woman suggests cold sores. Lots and lots of cold sores….
What the Princess of Mio left out of the story is 1) Barry bought the ring from Cheney and 2) the Obamas are going to Modor, Wyoming to throw the ring in a fire.
Priestap will soon be heard talking about her Precioussssss….
Ohmigod, now I just heard that it’s actually a $30,000 cock-ring!
Michelle is going to have a sex change operation so she and Obama can be gay-Muslim-married and he’s spending $30,000 to decorate her brand new equipment!
And in a recession! Imagine the nerve!
That’s funny. I could have sworn there was an election just last night, and a certain scorned someone helped propel the Republican to victory. Why not chittery chatter from the Sadly, No!ers? Why no snarky and smickety-smack? You couldn’t possibly be worried about Palin ’12, could you?
No, because she’s dumb, and your brains are so big. Heard it before, guys, heard it before. It will be your undoing. Huge win for the GOP last night. Shame you missed it.
For the Fool Pitier,
™
I wonder if Priestap was around for this:
But hey, none of that compares to a fictional $30K ring. ‘Cuz the $30K ring is fictional.
Dear Mr. Morris J,
Thank you for expressing your interest in the job of trolling at Sadly, No! Industries, but you do not have the qualifications necessary for the postiion. You trolling sample has been judged derivitive, annoying, and mindless, and therefore your application has been rejected.
Best wishes on future endeavers, etc. etc.
Now can I have some wingnut welfare, please?
There’s a storeroom at the end of the hall. We’ve still got crates and crates of McCain mugs. Help yourself.
While we’re picking on Republican wives, I seem to recall that there was a certain someone who had a sort of issue regarding expensive tastes in fashion:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Reagan#Fashion
There’s some interesting stuff there, including this:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,974751,00.html
Huge win for the GOP last night.
Cleverly, the GOP has scored a massive win this election season by losing the presidency, giving up 7 seats in the senate, and 21 seats in the house. Currently, Democrats control both chambers in 27 state legislatures.
Yeah, you sure showed us big brain guys! Keep it up just like that, Morris J! You keep on showin’ us!
I could have sworn there was an election just last night, and a certain scorned someone helped propel the Republican to victory.
I hear Saxby Chambliss was so grateful, he gave her a pearl necklace.
Huge win for the GOP last night. Shame you missed it.
__________________________________________________
You are right Morris J. . With the state the GOP is in even a senate seat win in Georgia is huge . If the trend continues you will be celebrating a state senate seat win in Alabama as huge in a couple of years .
A tip of the hat to whomever it is that’s commenting at whizbang as AA’s Testicles.
That is fucking genius.
So this is the great Republican Revival, feat. Sarah Youbetcha Maverick Palin? A runoff election in a massively red state that gives the GOP a slim ability to filibuster in Congress, and that’s a huge victory for the Forces of Right(wing)? That signals GOP resurgence in 2012?
How low can can you put the bar before it’s officially impossible not to step over it?
Heard it before, guys, heard it before. It will be your undoing.
*yawn*
But to address your other question, yes, its very disappointing personally that Saxby Chambliss won the run-off election in GA, shutting down the hope of a filibuster-proof Dem majority. What I hadn’t realized was that by doing so, he had actually succeeded in tearing the very fabric of space and time asunder and undoing Obama’s victory and the rest of the Democratic wins on Election Day. Crikey, that really WAS a huge win for the GOP last night. Thank fucking christ you stopped by to tell me.
Yeah, congrats GOP, you are now only one seat away from a super-minority! Let’s see what happens in 2010 when you are defending more seats that the Democrats and have used that 41st seat to filibuster universal health care. I’m sure Sarah Palin’s awesome policy credibility will pull through for ya.
Had a heart attack? You don’t need statins and surgery, you just need to eat more moose.
My brain is so big I have to wear specail earmuffs.
So Chambliss’ bare squeaker was a “huge win” but Obama’s majority wasn’t enough for a mandate.
O-Kay.
That’s high praise, coming from you, D-KW.
I do try to amuse myself.
How low can can you put the bar before it’s officially impossible not to step over it?
Approximately 12 feet above Bill Kristol’s journalistic reputation.
Excavation contractors are submitting bids. Just don’t call it infrastructure spending.
To which FanBoi Arky 4 That 1 replies: Write a little play about her (hint hint hinty hint hint).
Perhaps you thought I was joking about Palin’s new pearl necklace. Perhaps not:
From The Hill: “Sarah Palin came in on the last day, did a fly-around and, man, she was dynamite,” Chambliss told Fox News on Wednesday. “We packed the houses everywhere we went. And it really did allow us to peak and get our base fired up.”
“fly-around”? “packed the houses”? “peak”? “get our base fired up”?
There’s so much double entendre to work with there that it even makes me tired.
I remain rigid!
What, I thought conservatives loved overpriced diamond jewelry?
At least, that’s what all the commercials tell us…
…First she whines that he’s a crass commercialist, then complains that he’s not? WTF?
Why no talky talk and snicker-snack about the most recent election of dog catcher in a deeply contested anti-dog county? Could it be people don’t give a shit about some shitty political position that signifies the sum total of jack and shit in comparison to WE FUCKING GOT THE WHITE HOUSE AND CONGRESS NOW, MORRIS.
So, in sum total, eat it, Morris, eat it raw.
Just because he didn’t buy her a ring that may not have existed doesn’t mean that he didn’t buy her a ring that did exist which we did not see or hear about. QED
“Rhodium” sounds like “Rhodesia.” Coincidence?
Nice try at deflection but Rhodium is so close to Rhodham …so he’s got a thing for her now???
“Baby, can you wear this ring and say shame on you?”
You heard it here first
How low can can you put the bar before it’s officially impossible not to step over it?
What step? They don’t step; they crawl, leaving a trail of slime.
From “The Palin Went Down to Georgia.”
From MediaMatters:
Yeah, never did anything like that before- Look at something wildly expensive and beautiful and tell the sales person I’m looking to buy it for a gift. That’s how I got the Maserati, and the yaught, and the $2,705,040 condo on Coronado beach, the drug-fueled sextour to the DR, etc.
But what does it say about Obama, that many people thought it *could* be true?”
It says something that shouldn’t be repeated in polite company, actually.
Yeah, that election that was so close for the incumbent Republican Governor that it turned into a run-off a month later after a holiday weekend just killed the Democrats’ chances in 2012, somehow.
I can’t wait for Palin to run in 2012.
Perhaps you’ve forgotten, Morris (forgetting failure is a key wingnut requirement, after all), Bill Kristol is always wrong.
So keep listening to him.
I wish they’d make up their minds about whether Obama is all about appearance and a master of PR (this being the only explanation of how he managed to steal the election) or he’s an incompetent idiot who would blow $30K on a trinket in these economic times.
Concluding that between 1983 and 1988 the Reagans failed to report some $3 million worth of free clothes, jewelry and furs, the IRS presented them with a hefty bill for back taxes and interest. A former assistant to Mrs. Reagan says the bill was settled.
Any IRS agent who tried that with a Bush Wife would have found himself hanging upside down in a Gitmo prison cell.
Um. Yeah. Did it cross anyone’s teeny tiny desk that this is a marketing ploy?
“Look! This famous guy is buying our stuff. You should buy it too!”
Nah, that would be too boring.
The reason for those small towns was to provide summer cabins for the people who achieved middle-class status from the auto industry. Now their purpose is to produce resentment and bitterness.
Since when are these mutually exclusive?
I’m still wishing for Keyes/Palin 2012.
Hammer that last nail in, guys!
Fixed.
Isn’t “Bush Wife” slang for sex doll?
Isn’t “Bush Wife” slang for sex doll?
Your mileage may vary.
J–, I gotta steal that from you.
It’s just too good:
The Palin went down to Georgia
She was lookin for some clothes to steal
See, she was in a bind
‘Cause she was getting maligned
Seems she’d lost most of her appeal
When she came across an old man
Filled with bigotry and hate
And the Palin jumped up on the podium
And said “Hey Senator, want a date?”
“I bet you didn’t know it, but I hate them darkies too
And if you’re as dumb as John McCain then I’ll campaign for you
Now you’re a serious wackjob, Sax, but give Ole Palin her due
In front of a crowd I’m white and proud and I hate them more than you”
The Senator said “My name’s Saxby, and I’m probably a dope
But nobody else will campaign for me and I’m runnin low on hope”
Apologies to J– And Charlie Daniels
mikey
Only the BDSM-themed ones, pie.
If you thought her piece was rancid rumormongering, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Check out the shit shoveled by a rabid racist lesbian-hiding-deep-in-the-closet:
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2008/12/just_one_questi.html
I’m still wishing for Keyes/Palin 2012.
Hammer that last nail in, guys!
Sadly, I can see that happening.
Woo Hoo!
Don’t apologize, mikey. That’s the collective power of a blog commentariat. Plus, my talents are usually only good for one verse or a chorus. You and some others here can do whole songs.
Hey Mikey, that was pretty good.
Rho rho rhodium,
Diamonds are nice;
Meeting military specs
Pushes up the price.
Debbie’s off her game. Not a single mention of Flava-Flav or New York.
It’s nice to see the commenters helping her out a bit.
Reality-based Dave: That link slimed me. Now I have to shower. Thanks. Thanks a LOT.
Palin/Jindal.
Now, you laugh, because you’re liberals and that’s what liberals do, given the world view built on scorn and snark, the class envy, the vulgarity, the rudeness. So you laugh and laugh, but here’s the kicker…this is a movement, unlike the Obama hype, truly built on hope, truly built on what America wants and needs. You can have your celebrity, my liberal friends, we’ll have ourselves true change and be happier and better for it.
I can’t wait for 2012.
That link points to another “Huge win for the GOP”, Reality-Based Dave: now that they’ve lost, they don’t even have to pretend not to be racist.
Now, you laugh, because you’re liberals and that’s what liberals do, given the world view built on scorn and snark, The Buttocks, the vulgarity, the rudeness.
Fuck yeah.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
Isn’t “Bush Wife” slang for sex doll?
Your mileage may vary.
I am deeply concerned about the mentality of a person who has instant, cross-indexed access to Derenegade’s catalogue of Laura Bush wardrobe dysfunctions going back to July 2006.
Thank you, thank you, Sadly, for giving me another comedy blog to read! No Quarter was getting so boring…
See, I had forgotten all about The Buttocks…
Looks like the Obama effect in Georgia is long over. All the black people who voted for Obama stayed home during the runoff election, (it was two white guys running, after all.) which is why Chambliss won by a relatively wide margin of 57%, while McCain only carried Georgia by 52%.
It looks like you libs are 2 votes short on your fillibuster proof majority, with Norm Coleman winning in Minnesota.
Don’t cry too much though my liberal peons, I’m sure Rinos like Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins will reach across the aisle to help Obama pass his leftist agenda. I’m just glad to see Rino Chuck Hagel lose his Senate seat to a conservative. Maybe some good came out of this election after all.
Lets just hope more Rinos will bite the dust, and be replaced by conservatives.
Bravo, J- and mikey.
Bravo!
Alright, who left the fucking door open?
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
(See? I’m laughing and laughing. At you.)
Palin/Jindal. That is rich.
I can’t imagine a better present.
The Buttocks, the vulgarity, the rudeness.
The itching, the burning.
Try Cruex(tm).
and
I (surprise, surprise) never received a response from Truthy pertaining to these matters. Wanna give it a go this time around, Truth?
Additionally,
Um, that one’s actually going to happen. Theoretically, exactly as Obama described on the campaign trail.
Speaking of Rinos, I’m still very PO’d that, that scumbag, Wayne Gilcrest endorsed the Democratic candidate, instead of Andy Harris, the conservative candidate who defeated him in the primary.
What a spoiled, whiney, immature, backstabbing little wiener. If I ever see that Rino bum, Gilcrest in person, I’m gonna punch him in the gut.
Shalom Morris
Obama is an empty suit, an orator with boundless ambition and no real plans for change.
And yet somehow he’s also a power-crazed machine politician due to become another Stalin!
Why, how paradoxical.
Meanwhile, the big liberal issues you want – troops out of Iraq, universal healthcare, and so – aren’t going to happen.
Wait, did everybody bookmark this page? Because I’m sure we’ll be cutting and pasting that phrase for truthie for YEARS to come….
We’ve had this discussion, Truthiness. The “change” Obama was so eloquent about, and the American electorate responded to, was a change from the policies and excesses and sheer unadulterated hackery of the BushCo Administration. By contrast, the Clinton Administration, though flawed, was a paragon of competence and intellect, so even if the Obama Administration is exactly like Clinton’s (and if your mind had even a tangential relation to your nym, you’d know it won’t be), it will be a vast improvement over the last eight years and, yes, a significant “change.”
Now run along and start looking for Bobby Jindal’s birth certificate to combat all the rumors that will pop up in 2010 about his birthplace and religion. Oh wait, that won’t happen because pandering to white folks’ fear of Scary Brown People is a Republican tactic.
Oh no, that’s not what I’m asking you to admit. I’m asking you to admit how laughably Kristol-wrong you were about freaking everything. Everything! Everything from how Michelle Obama would be received at the DNC to how Obama would perform in swing states to the Bradley Effect to everything, everywhere. Everything! You couldn’t have possibly been more incorrect.
I want you to take that long post you made a week before the election- the one wherein you played out exactly how election night was going to roll- and refute every moronic point.
Elsewise you’re just hopping from troll post to troll post.
And we know this a month+ before he even takes office. Awesome.
Some, yes. But- and here we go again, another example of The Truth sidestepping his own laughable FAIL- we’re proven right here. Again, take a look at the archives. Instead of wasting our time here, why not do something productive? Look at all the times Brad or Clif or whoever would mention that, despite all ramblings from the contrary from PEOPLE LIKE YOU, Obama was a centrist and would govern as such.
So we’re left with the following argument:
Truth: OBAMA IS TOO RADICAL TO BE ELECTED!
Us: No, he’s not. And he’ll be elected.
Obama elected
Truth: YAY! I WIN! HE’S NOT RADICAL AND YOU’RE MAD ABOUT IT!
It’s a bogus, weird, pass-the-buck-to-the-trash-bin argument, full of some of the most stunning dislogic I’ve seen since accidentally stopping by Gateway Pundit. You’re literally proud of being laughably wrong about everything. And you don’t even admit how wrong you were.
You’re a treasure, Truth. I parody troll this site a lot, but I don’t think I’m even up to developing a character full of such fundamental and complex nonsense.
…
And you still won’t just say it. I, The Truth, was wrong about everything pertaining to the election, and should be judged as such.
Though, to pat myself on the back, I think my “Iris” got awfully close.
…his appointments of centrists
Wait, so Shillary of the Clan KKKlinton is a centrist now? Wheeee!
And Obama’s election is not a “victory over you,” Truthless, but it does underscore the fact that all your smug predictifying here was 100% wrong.
Which leads me to believe that all of those Obama worries you mention – troops out of Iraq, universal health care, and so on – are very likely to come to pass. You’re like a barometer of wrong.
Palin/Jindal.
Please please please please please.
Now, you laugh, because you’re liberals and that’s what liberals do
Laugh at funny right wingers?
Yea. I suppose we do. Someone has to!
You liberals are having some fun trying to distract yourselves and everyone else from the reality: Obama is an empty suit, an orator with boundless ambition and no real plans for change.
Oh Troofie…and Bush was a “compassionate conservative”!
He lied. As do you. Liar.
Still waiting for Pravda to denounce the entire chimpo administration for not courageously resigning after 911 like the senior Indian officials did after their failure securing the residents of Mumbai.
Of course, wingnuts/nutjobs/whackjobs live in Bizarro World where failure is a virtue, so perhaps that accounts for the nutjob trolls here celebrating conservatism’s massive and enduring failure for the last eight years.
Y’know, I don’t read these idiot trolls, prefering instead to keep our interaction limited to a discussion of delicious fruit-filled deserts, but I am heartened by their drooling focus on hate, exclusion, warmongering and domestic economic policies that benefit the wealthy at the expense of the rest of us.
I was concerned that they might actually look at their massive losses in the last two national elections, and look at the demographics and the fading support for their divisive “wedge” issues among the younger and non-white population that is more and more defining the mainstream American electorate and seriously consider an approach to policy-making that would appeal to a broad constituency.
After all, the bigoted tribal christian nutjobs are going to vote for them even if they don’t pander, merely by being against abortion. Of course, that alone makes it difficult for them to appeal to women (half the voters, last time I looked), but they could even tone that down and still keep the 28%ers.
But it turns out I worried without cause. They are so desperately afraid of losing one white bigot trailer park vote that they are clearly going to further marginalize their party, embracing perhaps a quarter of the constituency while driving close to twice that into the arms of the Democrats.
Good going, guys. Stay irrational, wouldya?
mikey
I can’t wait to see the Palin/Jindal 2012 platform
“Experience … in exorcism!”
> Which leads me to believe that all of those Obama worries you mention – troops out of Iraq, universal health care, and so on – are very likely to come to pass. You’re like a barometer of wrong.
Just remember that failure is a Badge Of Courage for wingnuts/nutjobs/whackjobs. This principle helps to explain why Pravda, Kristol, Morris, etc just keep yammering their fail-filled insanity here and on the editorial pages.
And for Rugged, failure is a Badger Of Courage.
The Red Badger of Courage — about the role of badgers on the Russian side during the Battle of Stalingrad — would make a good movie.
I was concerned that they might actually look at their massive losses in the last two national elections, and look at the demographics and the fading support for their divisive “wedge” issues among the younger and non-white population that is more and more defining the mainstream American electorate and seriously consider an approach to policy-making that would appeal to a broad constituency.
I dunno, Mikey…as old as I am, I can recall a time when we had actual real dialogue of substance, when both sides of an issue HAD to be presented in the media (you know, the Fairness Doctrine and all that) and Americans were presented with a choice.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as talk radio and yammering right wing controlled main stream media took over the national airwaves that people jsut stopped voting in greater numbers.
Until this year. Until it really mattered.
I like the two party system, so long as its about us and not the two parties.
The Red Badger of Courage — about the role of badgers on the Russian side during the Battle of Stalingrad — would make a good movie.
WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!
That part where he wins the Award of Ferret (sniff!) always chokes me up.
Your place ermine?
Hey, you stole my joke, SmutClyde!
Your place ermine?
You went through an ocleot to come up with that pun, didn’t you?
Pere, you otter be ashamed…
I….I got nothin’.
Oh, ha ha ha about the badgers (you wouldn’t think it was so funny if you had a million-strong murder of badgers rushing your city, believe me).
As to the ring controversy, everybody knows that American presidents get a big kickback from the Arabs if the president will promise to hold hands and kiss with their king, in public no less. So, Obama buying his wife this ring is just sort of a “hey, I’m not gay, even if I exchange spit with this Arab guy, and here’s a fancy ring to just shut up about it, ok?” thing that he has to do to keep the peace.
Oh, and that photo of Kim Priestap? I’d totally hit that car behind her!
Come on, Dreamweasel…take a swing of the bat!
Hey, how come Barry isn’t buying an imaginary $30,000 ring for his new Secretary of State-designate?
This is a SLAP IN THE FACE to Hillary!
Hey, how come Barry isn’t buying an imaginary $30,000 ring for his new Secretary of State-designate?
Following the Bush model, I guess he’s her husband now, right?
My mustelid. Let me show you it.
Your place ermine?
You went through an ocleot to come up with that pun, didn’t you?
I admit, it took a while to sett it up.
> You went through an ocleot to come up with that pun, didn’t you?
If you guys don’t stop with these awful puns the fur will start flying around here.
It looks like you libs are 2 votes short on your fillibuster proof majority, with Norm Coleman winning in Minnesota.
it looks like you douchebags are a lot of votes short on ANY majority. Including a majority of electoral, popular, congressional, or senatorial votes.
Btw, I just heard from an anonymous source at the Louvre that Obama is planning to buy the Mona Lisa for $500 million in taxpayer money so he can have Michelle painted in in place of Mrs. Gioconda.
He’s also going to use the painting to locate the Holy Grail, which he plans to give to his fellow Muslim terrorists in Al Qaeda so they can use it in a magical ritual that will DESTROY CHRISTIANITY.
It’s TRUE, dammit!
If you guys don’t stop with these awful puns the fur will start flying around here.
I felt I had to jump in. I would be lion if I said otherwise.
If you guys don’t stop with these awful puns the fur will start flying around here.
You really have to beaver careful with the rodent puns. Your reputation will be marten times more than any benefit you’ll experience. But if you liberal fascists insist, well that’s just my two guineas, pigs.
It looks like you libs are 2 votes short on your fillibuster proof majority, with Norm Coleman winning in Minnesota
Hmm? Last I heard, Franken was ahead. Vote counting ends on Friday, no?
You really have to beaver careful with the rodent puns. Your reputation will be marten times more than any benefit you’ll experience. But if you liberal fascists insist, well that’s just my two guineas, pigs.
Listen, you’re coming off like a rabbit wingnut when you speak like this.
Werebear is stoatally to blame.
Werebear is stoatally to blame
We’ll seal about that!
Whoa, whoa, whoa … hold up. From RealityBasedDave’s link to Schlussel’s insanely racist post comes this comment:
Okay. Now. Is this for reals? Is there a genius parody troll in the house? Nobody does parody trolling better than the denizens of S,N! But I seriously hope its the real deal Ann Althouse. ‘Cuz that would be the awesomest cross-blogger post ever.
Oh, and if the producers of the “National Treasure” franchise want to contact me about optioning the film rights to my last comment, I can be reached via my blog.
Well. I am raccoon my brains here.
We really need to ferret out all of the bad puns from this thread.
Well. I am raccoon my brains here.
We’ll bear with you.
If you guys don’t stop with these awful puns the fur will start flying around here.
I’ll tell muh paw on you!
Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmoset skies
We’ll bear with you.
Time for a round of bear-hating?
Would this be a confusion of comments? Or more of a boogle?
Time for a round of bear-hating?
I fang so.
I’m trying to thing of one but it’s stoatally not happening….
Ah, think of one, I mean, but now all the funny ran out the typo.
River Daughter is on the case!
http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/wednesday-obamalama-ding-dang/
Nobody has bothered to inform the commenters that it’s bogus. (I was banned from their forum long ago.)
How is it that PUMAs can be even slower and denser than wingnuts?
I knew that Commander guy was a weasel!
How is it that PUMAs can be even slower and denser than wingnuts?
OK, did you want the Newtonian explanation or the quantum physics one?
In QP, they exist in the event horizon of a black hole. To them, it’s really still June 1 and Hillary still has a shot.
In Newtonian terms, they are as dense as cabbages heads.
Jesus.
I’m sitting here listening to the WORST GODDAMN Christmas music on the face of God’s grey Earth. It’s kind of a mix of American-Idol wannabees, Disney Radio tunes, R&B-ish gospeloid, and college radio nasal Alternative pop. My, it’s just so festive I could just poke my eardrums out with a pencil.
River Daughter is on the case!
http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/wednesday-obamalama-ding-dang/
Nobody has bothered to inform the commenters that it’s bogus. (I was banned from their forum long ago.)
How is it that PUMAs can be even slower and denser than wingnuts?
Thanks for the lynx.
It’s twoo, it’s twoo!
The ring’s designer HAD to deny the story, under threat of being designated as a Chicago Comptroller.
Just because there was no ring visible there, it doesn’t mean that there could have been a ring there that nobody was able to see! Proof of Obama’s diabolical power to cloud men’s minds? It would be irresponsible not to assume so!
In what respect, Charlie?
Yes, I’m sure that a woman whose only asset is her looks will be an even BETTER draw when she’s four years older (& from the looks of it, not one iota brighter) … & who doesn’t want to vote for someone that supports exorcisms? SOME of the children that get subjected to them don’t even die, after all! So what if there’s some “collateral damage” in the War On Satanic Terror? It’s a small price to pay for a demon-free America … just one teeny-tiny amendment to the Constitution & Abracadabra – mandatory exorcisms for all!
Why not just get Tom Cruise to run for the GOP on a “Thetan-proofing America” platform while you’re at it? Or hook up with some of those sexy Raelians? Or the TimeCube guy? They’d fit right in by now.
The GOP – now brought to you entirely via the Cartoon Network.
MSNBC.com once again delivers New You Can Use:
How to tell a boy polar bear from a girl polar bear
Proof of Obama’s diabolical power to cloud men’s minds? It would be irresponsible not to assume so!
Told you so.
MSNBC.com once again delivers New You Can Use:
How to tell a boy polar bear from a girl polar bear
The scream of the polar bear girl is higher when they drown or starve.
Palin believes in magic, and so does Jindal, so we could have the coolest cabinet. I want Harry Potter for Sec Def, and Hermoine for Education. Maybe Samantha, Endora and Aunt Esmerelda can join too.
This is all about shrinking government until it is small enough to put it in the bath-tub and call it a witch if it floats.
How to tell a boy polar bear from a girl polar bear
Ya know, I’d imagine that, in most circumstances, if one found oneself close enough to a polar bear to discern its sex, the point’s sorta moot at that point.
Palin believes in magic, and so does Jindal
They’re burning witches
Up on Punishment Hill
Dying proof of the power of authority
To exact its will
Ya know, I’d imagine that, in most circumstances, if one found oneself close enough to a polar bear to discern its sex, the point’s sorta moot at that point.
Yea, but I’d still want to know before I crossed the floor to buy her a drink.
put it in the bath-tub and call it a witch if it floats
How do you know it’s not a duck, then?
Ur seein’ it right there
And you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry polar…
The government has a wart on its nose!
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
Or what’s ur sine, baby
Ur sine… polar coordinates… I see what you do there.
Actually, I think male polar bears are about twice the size of female polar bears.
Polare, oh, oh
Caimane, oh, oh, oh, oh
Those are just ursinine jokes..
Legalize said,
Proving once and for all that racism is no longer an issue in America!!!
El Swear:
Does this mean Joe Lieberman is going to turn up stuffed behind a dumpster in the basement in a pool of formaldehyde?
Pere Ubu said,
Bi polar bears have more fun.
“It’s a new model government! They just brought it down, and they say it explains everything!”
Does this mean Joe Lieberman is going to turn up stuffed behind a dumpster in the basement in a pool of formaldehyde?
I CAN HAZ? KTHX
“Those are just ursinine jokes..”
Stop grizzlying
Unfortunately, the British are moving ever closer to cultural suicide. Political Correctness rears its ugly head again.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1091218/Muslim-prayer-rooms-opened-Catholic-schools-say-church-leaders.html
Gallup: 7 in 10 terrorists believe Obama to be Muslim. Guess where they get their news from?
Who’s interviewing terrorists, anyway? And how?
“Excuse me, sir, I can’t help but notice that belt of explosives around your waist. You wouldn’t happen to be a terrorist, would you?”
[cheesy accent] “YES PRAISE ALLAH THAT INDEED IS WHAT I AM RUNNING DOG OF ZIONIST IMPERIALISM”
“Well, could I trouble you to answer a few questions? Then I’d like to show you these shows slated for the new season on ABC and I’d like your opinion on them….”
Endless Haggis for volunteeers!
No Haggis for the Infidels!
Onward to Jerusalem!!!!!
I wonder if those terrorists are the ones that own Mattel?
Play “DIE infidel son of a diseased whore!!! The hottest new self immolation game from Mattel. Batteries not included
Endless Haggis for volunteeers!
No Haggis for the Infidels!
Sign me up for the opposition.
Ugh. Puns make me varmit.
Unfortunately, the British are moving ever closer to cultural suicide.
Nope. The British stood up to the blitz (and in a manner a hell of a lot better than Americans handled 9/11, a joke by comparison) – they can handle some Muslims praying.
Christ you conservatives are such total and complete pussies. A bunch of Bronze Age nimrods aren’t going to destroy Britan or American, much less Western Civilizations.
Man up, Nancy.
Could it just be that conservatives’ testicles haven’t yet descended? Is that why they hate sex so much and are terrified by every bump in the night?
It would be wrong not to speculate.
A bunch of Bronze Age nimrods aren’t going to destroy Britan or American, much less Western Civilizations.
Bronze Age they may be, but they’re clever enough to frighten Americans into dismantling their own civilization.
“Bi polar bears have more fun.”
Have you ever been in group with bi-polar bears? Sure to the rest of the world they appear to be happy but it’s all an act I tell ya.
http://sweetness-light.com/archive/get-your-obama-defecating-ornaments
Of course, Obama’s don’t stink.
And that’s…bad?
The most resource intensive and meddlesome culture in recorded history?
Europe has been Islamicized.Islam will destroy Britain, if the British continue to allow muslim immigration. For over a thousand years, the population of the British Isles where White Europeans, whom along with Christianity, formed the basis for British culture.
With non-white, muslim outsiders moving enmasse to Britain, traditional British culture is being deluted. And just a harmful, the British goverment has given in to the twin plagues of political correctness and secularism. They have abandoned their Christian faith, with only 10% of the British population regularly attending Church services.
The British have censored free speech at the request of their Islamic virus. To top it all off, native white Britons currently have a birth rate that is below replacement level with 1.7 children born per woman. Meanwhile, Britons muslim population currently has a birth rate of 3.5 children born per woman. At the rate this is going, south asian muslims are going to be in the majority by 2050!
Pretty soon Great Britain will be unrecognizable, traditional British culture will no longer exist. You liberals however, see Western Civilization and cultue as the source of all the world’s evils. You believe that slavery was an unforgiveable sin, therefore the West deserves to be destoyed, despite our doing more good for civilization than ill.
Let us hope and pray, that America never becomes Latinized the way
Sorry I got cut off.
I was saying, let us hope and pray that America never becomes Latinized the way Europe has become Islamicized.
No, that smell is desperation. Of course, it also could be fat bald man sweat from inside a fursuit.
“Pretty soon Great Britain will be unrecognizable”
Actually, “pretty soon” a great deal of it will be under water.
We’re devastated such a thing would happen to you.
“Sorry I got cut off.”
Switched hands huh?
“Just because there was no ring visible there, it doesn’t mean that there could have been a ring there that nobody was able to see! Proof of Obama’s diabolical power to cloud men’s minds? It would be irresponsible not to assume so!”
AAARRGGHHHHHH!!!
I hear the ghost of AAlthouse!
Run away! Run away!
AAARRGGHHHHHH!!!
Ran into the ghost of Noonan’s empty bottle!
RUN FASTER!!!
Sorry I got cut off.
To date, the only comment of any degree of interest made by the Commander, if only for the curiosity it raises as to how exactly one gets cut off if one determines when to press the “Submit Comment” button.
Somebody is not aware of all Internet traditions over at CheezWhizBang—
So how long will that take to go down the memory hole?
If you must know, the reason I got cut off is because I am also watching my five month old puppy Rikki, who insists on jumping on the couch with me as I type, jumping around, playing, and otherwise being very annoying.
She actually knocked my laptop off the stool, I’m resting it on.
Cute dog, but occasionally a real pain in the arse.
So that’s not illegal in Arkansas, I take it.
Perhaps you thought I was joking about Palin’s new pearl necklace. Perhaps not:
$30,000 for Palin accessories.
$30,000 is the new $64,000.
Awww…did Truth get his feewings hurt?
Gawd, it would terrible if England became a colony of, say, Pakistan, Inida, Iraq, Iran, Zimbabwe, Australia, Native American Nations, etc, etc.
The irony would be unbearable.
Didn’t it cost Elliot Spitzer around $30K to give pearl necklaces?
I was saying, let us hope and pray that America never becomes Latinized the way Europe has become Islamicized.
Of course, let us apple water binomial that Kate Winslett chowder millipede becomes green tufts of alphabet, which mnakes just as much sense as what you’re babbling about.
With non-white, muslim outsiders moving enmasse to Britain, traditional British culture is being deluted.
And British luthiers are really pissed about it.
It cost him a lot more than that!
From the looks the Missus was giving him at the press conference, he would have to squeeze a lot of coal with his bare hands to keep all his parts attached and working.
Didn’t it cost Elliot Spitzer around $30K to give pearl necklaces?
Ok, just to be clear, that’s a euphemism for anal beads, right?
Tell me you’re kidding, Tom.
OT, think of an act that would result in leaving a string of pearly substance just below a person’s chin.
And British luthiers are really pissed about it.
I fail to see how the British could be luthier, since ‘luthy’ is not a word.
around $30K to give pearl necklaces?
The IRS are very keen to contact Pearl.
since ‘luthy’ is not a word.
Oh, God, when was the last time that stopped you, Mr. Smut Clyde?
It cost him a lot more than that!
Plus, she insisted he put on a condom, which complicates the bestowing of necklace.
think of an act that would result in leaving a string of pearly substance just below a person’s chin.
This is why modern science has given us the Drool Cup.
Man. This thread has really crashed and burned.
See what happens when we don’t have any trolls to bash?
I like prurient conversations as well as the next guy, but…
With non-white, muslim outsiders moving enmasse to Britain, traditional British culture is being deluted.
And British luthiers are really pissed about it.
Fear not, my British friends, for though your great nation may be deluted, you still have the ukuleles and their players to carry on the finest traditions in British composition.
Plus, she insisted he put on a condom
Over the anal beads? Ok, now I’m clearly well out of my depth.
Antipodeans, represent!
Over the anal beads?
Over his pearlcaster!
I can’t think of Spitzer without flashing back to Jon Stewart saying, “And he’s out with a career-ending penis injury!”
Though the guy with the diaper fetish is still representing Louisiana. Truly, some folks have no shame. I suppose if it had involved bestiality, wingnuts would have drawn the line. So any hetero activity, no matter how weird and adulterous, is okay?
Over his pearlcaster!
Oh, we’re back to the luthier thing?
The lute is the Devil’s instrument.
Oh, we’re back to the luthier thing?
Or maybe Randy Rhoads.
Jesus, look at the state of this thread.
http://www.edroman.com/guitars/pearlcaster.htm
“if it had involved bestiality, wingnuts would have drawn the line”
Next to the stump?
“Jesus, look at the state of this thread.”
What? It’s nearly 300 count. We bought it on sale, stop complaining.
“Can You imagine what Black Sabbath would have sounded like if Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward would have formed the band in the 14th century?”
Is this mandatory ?
WereBear said,
December 4, 2008 at 2:46
I can’t think of Spitzer without flashing back to Jon Stewart saying, “And he’s out with a career-ending penis injury!”
============================================================
I’m sure Plaxico Burress will be back.
Jesus, look at the state of this thread
My fellow SadlyNaughts,
The State of the Thread is Strong.
We will battle trolls over here to keep them from following us to Unqualified Offerings or Whiskey Fire or some other site.
Puns are just the beginning, we will cut the sophistication of our jokes until we’re sown to one word posts of PENIS or POOP.
We must remain vigilant for signs of wingnuttery or insightful conversation and beat it with arguments such as Teh Buttocks.
We do these things, not because they are easy, but because they get the more perverted of us hard.
PENIS
or
POOP
Paging Coach Meyer, Coach Urban Meyer.
For me to POOP on !
I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be sewn to any posts. No matter how many words are nailed on.
Well, the church had already banned the “Devil’s Chord,” so I imagine they would have gotten in much more trouble back then.
Ozzie would have had to bite the heads off of many bats to make up for it.
http://www.edroman.com/guitars/pearlcaster.htm
Wow, I like this Ed Roman guy. Here’s what he has to say about Brazilian rosewood:
More rants here, opening with one on our current president.
He reminds me of Alex at Zachary Guitars, who has very strong opinions about guitar strings and shares them.
Are we counting that as one word, or two? Regardless, I see Teh Buttsecks as a reasonable alternative.
If difficult without Teh Buttocks.
Or PENIS.
until we’re sown to one word posts
As ye sow, so shall ye reap POOP.
Yo international Ukes! They in your face!
The reformation killed the great Lute bands. Curse you Martin Luthier!
I mink you’re both crazy.
And you don’t have the slightest chinchilla of truth you.
*budda-BOOM*
I notice we have no trolls…and guess who isn’t around?
If difficult without Teh Buttocks.
Or PENIS.
(cough) anal beads (cough).
Werebear:
Fized.
Or is that what noen was saying?
I am deeply concerned about the mentality of a person who has instant, cross-indexed access to Derenegade’s catalogue of Laura Bush wardrobe dysfunctions going back to July 2006.
I am very concerned about your deep concern.
So you see, it goes both ways.
Reformation? Lute bands? Don’t tell me that John Dowland is getting together for another sodding farewell tour.
See also.
OMG!!! Sting singing Dowland? Someone was mightily wasted when they thought up THAT shite.
If Dowland had armed his audiences that would have prevented the Tolpuddle Martyrs
Pompous Spice (encore).
Mardon me, Padam, but you’re occupewing the wrong Pie.
May I sew you to a sheet?
mikey
And that’s…bad?
The most resource intensive and meddlesome culture in recorded history?
Unfortunately, those are the last parts to be dismantled.
ZZ Top was not singing about jewelry derived from oysters.
Rhodium and diamond ring? Having benefitted from the knowledge of family who have been in the jewelry manufacturing business for over 3 generations, I think not. While rhodium is more expensive than platinum, it is generally not used alone or to set diamonds because it is too brittle. Rhodium is most often used as a plating material, to provide a shiny finish to white gold and some silver jewelry. It is considered hypoallergenic.
John Emo-kid Dowland was made for Sting.
Ruthie: I think you know better than to ruin wingnut poutrage with facts.
On the other hand, the CheezWhizBang thread is still going and no one seems to be paying any attention to the comments. I think I’ll go pester them some more biting reality.
The concern troll thread is still going too, MzNicky.
In case you need a timeout with the fun people.
ittdgy: I’m having fun on that one too. It’s cracking me up.
(I love being an aggrieved whiner.)
the CheezWhizBang thread
The “Sean Penn said hello to a COMMUNIST OMFG!!!11” one?
Pere Ubu: Also the “Obama bought his wife a $30,000 ring” one. Scroll way down toward the end.
Now I’m worried that the deluting of England will flood the market with lute-strings and reduce their convertibility.
More useful information on the deluting of England:
http://mp3fiesta.com/the_convertibility_of_lute_strings_song159253/
What a maroon.
Re: concern and/or reality trolling – I think I’ll change my handle over at Flowbee’s joint to “Calm down, Mary”.
I think I’ll name my next band “Omnipresent Cameltoe.”
FYWP, Eater of Links!
The only way I can take out my frustrations is by criticising Clif for writing “put a kabosh”, rather than kibosh or kybosh.
I think I’ll name my next band “Omnipresent Cameltoe.”
“Omniscient Cameltoe” would be even better.
Aw CRIPES.
I go over to the Barack thread and what’s happened? Everyone’s gone home for the night.
PFAUGH.
One one two two
Omnipresent camel-toe…
Hang about, wasn’t that a Spinners track from 1979?
I thought that Omnipresent Camel-Toe was a group of French Mime Rock artistes. They used to back up Serge Gainsborough until he noticed them standing around gesturing, scaring the punters.
I would promise my allegiance, nay, my very life, in the name of Omnipresent Camel-Toe!
Let’s….
Uh…
Let’s TOE!!
Yay
mikey
“Commander Guy” has a really familiar style. I’m trying to place it. Ruppertesque rants interspersed with irrelevant snippets of his life written in a peculiarly juvenile voice. I’m thinking of the original Rugged in Montana, I think. One of the Sauls did it, too.
Anyone recall?
Anyone recall?
I’m sorry, this is outside my observational event horizon.
Jesus, look at the state of this thread.
Meh. ‘Salright.
Spending $30,000 on a piece of jewelry doesn’t represent the compassion or the hope and change that he espoused throughout the campaign.
Nor does it represent Truth, Beauty, The Buttocks, the many hardships in the lives of lobstermen, the mystery of Edwin Drood, or any number of potentially representable things. Maybe the Whiz considers itself the go-to blog for the hermenuetics of president-elect jewelry purchases in potentia, but sometimes stuff doesn’t represent other stuff, sometimes it’s just stuff, you know?
And I wanted to do a mustelid pun, but who’sable to keep up?
p00p too, also.
And I wanted to do a mustelid pun, but who’sable to keep up?
You lead and we can polecat together.
Anyone recall?
I have a recollection of Bastion Booger/Saul/Chris St. James being hung up on civilization under threat, punctuated by veers into directly insulting commenters.
News Flash! Millionaire Buys Wife a Diamond Ring! huh?
Rubys would suit Mrs. Obama better, I think.
Barack HUSSEIN Obama must treat his wife like dirt or he is a hypocrite.
i can has wingnut welfare sincecure nao
Ruthie: I think you know better than to ruin wingnut poutrage with facts.
MzNicky:
I can’t help it. I like to think of it as the PETA/Vegan/passive-aggressive’s PC substitute for blowing up frogs with firecrackers.
I don’t have enough semi-sentient time to check whether this has been flogged to death already, but what’s with that (burlap?) textural ‘shopping? Sure, that sorta thing can be useful to integrate a selection with the background layer, but it really sticks out here.
–Or am I missing something obvious as usual?
Damn! Looks like the ring-nut post got pushed off the page. Oh well.
OMG!!! Sting singing Dowland? Someone was mightily wasted when they thought up THAT shite.
He plays this massive fucking lute, too.
I was at the taping of Elvis Costello’s “Spectacle” with The Police and Sting comes out for his solo segment and he brings this lute…well, it’s not justice to call it huge.
The balcony in the Apollo was needed to tune the fucker.
They did a nice job with the tune, tho.
If you must know, the reason I got cut off is because I am also watching my five month old puppy Rikki, who insists on jumping on the couch with me as I type, jumping around, playing, and otherwise being very annoying.
Well, maybe if you stopped sexing her…
Stop grizzlying
I can bearly stand it.
To sum up:
A $30,000 rhodium-encrusted lute, once played by Randy Rhoads when he was with Ozzy in the fourteenth century, was, or perhaps wasn’t, purchased by the president-elect as a present for his wife, with the hope that it would end a hopelessly off-topic string of excrutiatingly bad puns, and lessen the incidence of puppy rape. Seems logical.
Poor spelling is excruciating.
This is the only flaw in an otherwise brilliant analysis. The puns were not torture. We don’t do torture.
Um.. I don’t mean to complain or anything – but why rewrite the WhizBang! handle on their blog?
I mean, it sounds exactly like what they’re doing.