Liar, Liar, Uranium on fire

A reader draws our attention to this AP article:

Iraq Scientists: Lied About Nuke Weapons

Iraqi scientists never revived their long-dead nuclear bomb program, and in
fact lied to Saddam Hussein about how much progress they were making before
U.S.-led attacks shut the operation down for good in 1991, Iraqi physicists
say.

Before that first Gulf War, the chief of the weapons program resorted to
“blatant exaggeration” in telling Iraq’s president how much bomb material
was being produced, key scientist Imad Khadduri writes in a new book.

Other leading physicists, in Baghdad interviews, said the hope for an Iraqi
atomic bomb was never realistic.

Sounds much like the Bush plan for turning this whole thing over to Cha-Cha-Chalabi and strolling down Baghdad’s newly paved Bush Boulevard.

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It would, if only it were an actual word and if it meant what you think it means

Is it? Does it? Sadly, No!

Writing on the plight of Wal-Mart shopper Patricia VanLester who was knocked unconscious by fellow shoppers, Andrew Sullivan writes:

I’m sorry but these people are out of their minds. Suddenly, the German term Konsumterrorismus makes a certain amount of sense.

The German term Andy is presumably thinking of is Konsumterror (talk about being obsessed with terrorism, but we digress.) But Konsumterror refers to the prevalence of advertising in society, and the resulting inability to escape being bombarded with ads. How this relates to an excessively enthusiastic herd of Wal-Mart shoppers remains, well, unclear.

Suddenly, the bogus nature of Andy’s intellect makes total sense.

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Guess we’re not going to be getting Alexa updates anytime soon

On July 24, 2003 our friend, acquaintance, highly entertaining conservative Andrew Sullivan wrote:

HOME NEWS: A new record for the site: according to Alexa.com, this blog just reached its highest ever ranking on the web. Thanks again.

We guess there’s been a steep decline in the demand for Sully’s brand of headline-scanning, Bush-loving, St. Augustine-imitating, anonymous email-posting conservatism with a twist.

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Shorter Mark Steyn

These five regimes must go

I’ve listed the names of the five countries we should invade next using only lower caps, so you (and they) know I mean business.

This post is dedicated to skippy the bush kangaroo, blogtopia’s (yes, he coined that phrase!) original lover of all things lower caps.

Shorter concept inspired by busy, busy, busy from an idea by D-Squared.

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If things were any better, there’d be no room for improvement

So let’s all be thankful that things in Afghanistan are only almost FUBAR:

Nancy Lindborg of Mercy Corps, the American aid group, says: “We’ve operated in Afghanistan for about 15 years and we’ve never had the insecurity that we have now.”

“People have been threatened by the Taliban and al Qaeda. They have put leaflets in mosques and sent letters saying they will burn down the house and cut off the nose of anyone who tries to participate in the constitution,” said Omar Satib, an official at the election office. “We put announcements on the radio, but people are just not ready to come.”

A law passed in the mid-70s prohibiting married women from attending high-school classes was upheld in September by President Hamed Karzai’s government… Sayed Ahmad Sarwari, the deputy education minister, [said] he didn’t know the exact number of women who have been expelled, but that it was “possibly more than two or three thousand”.

The UN reported that opium-growing families were making an average $US3900 a year against the gross domestic product per capita of $US184, based on 2002 estimates.

Nov. 29 ? Next month, when Afghanistan holds a national council to adopt its new constitution, 64 of the 500 seats will be held by women, but some of those women already are getting death threats.

Officials said that is the bloodiest period in Afghanistan since U.S. forces overthrew the Taliban in late 2001 for sheltering Saudi-born Osama bin Laden and members of his al Qaeda network, blamed for the September 11 attacks in the United States.

Kevin Drum thinks Bush deserves 4 out of 10 for Afghanistan. That seems a bit generous to us.

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Fight the Hollywood left!

With the Hollywood right, but of course!

In this old (but new to us) TV commercial produced by Citizens United, former US Senator (and Law & Order’s poor man’s Adam Schiff) explains why he thought it important to support President Bush’s war of preemption, liberation, Thanksgiving turkey serving against Iraq:

With all of the criticism of our President’s policy on Iraq lately, Americans might ask what should we do with the inevitable prospect of nuclear weapons in the hands of a murderous and aggressive enemy. Can we afford to appease Saddam? Kick the can down the road? Thank goodness we have a president with the courage to protect our country. And when people ask: “What has Saddam done to us” I ask, “what had the 9-11 hijackers done to us… before 9-11?”

Dude, your mind tricks are wicked awesome.

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Separated at Birth?

Future Iraqi president convict Ahmad Chalabi
and never convicted pornographer Larry Flint.

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I’m not dead yet!

Having apparently forgotten he is supposed to be living in a cave, Mullah Omar has been visiting Pakistan:

Former Taleban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar was seen in the Pakistani border town of Quetta last week, according to Afghan President Hamid Karzai.

Mr Karzai told The Times newspaper he had received information that Mullah Omar was spotted praying in a mosque.

A reminder from the same article that all has turned out extremely well in Afghanistan, please move along and pay no attention to anything else the media might be reporting:

[President Karzai] called on Pakistan’s President Musharraf to prevent hard-line Islamic groups in the city from supporting those responsible for the recent upsurge in violence in Afghanistan, which has left more than 400 people dead in the past four months.

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A skill showing superhuman strength

World O’Crap reads the Town Hall columnists for you. He She then summarizes their typically incoherent rants arguments, saving you time and helping to preserve whatever sanity you might have left:

The good news: it’s a light load, due to the weekend. Better news: the pieces are fully of juicy conservative goofiness.

Neil Cavuto

Neil’s business and economics expertise (plus the fact that his friend Tom is uncharacteristically buying nice presents for his family this year) allows Neil to predict that holiday spending will be up 8-9% over last year’s. Of course, if Tom is just having an affair, then forget everything Neil said.

There’s more, so stop by and say hello. [But we must say thanks to Neil's friend, whose willingness to rack up credit card debt while lacking the financial resources needed to pay it back is what makes this country the greatest country in the world! Thanks Tom!]

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President Convicted Embezzler Chalabi is on the case!

The Financial Times has the latest on everybody’s favorite ingrate:

Mr Chalabi chairs the Governing Council’s Higher Committee for
de-Ba’athification. Formed in September, this has expanded its work from
rooting out senior functionaries of the former regime to implementing what
he calls “a programme of economic de-Ba’athification”.

The committee is one of the most powerful in the Governing Council. …

Critics of de-Ba’athification have attacked the programme as revenge-driven.
Iyad Allawi, a fellow member of the Governing Council who has also returned from western exile, has called the plan “dangerous”, and declared he was boycotting Mr Chalabi’s committee.

Mr Chalabi’s opponents worry that his de-Ba’athification committee has few
checks and balances, and that it could be used selectively to favour his
associates and undermine business rivals. He insists, however, that the
motives for de-Ba’athification are a “moral issue”. …

He said the de-Ba’athification committee would also examine the restitution
of an estimated 500,000 properties he said had been confiscated under the
Ba’athist regime. He said the properties included his sister’s house, which
the family has already recovered and in which Mr Chalabi gave the interview.

Under the de-Ba’athification programme an estimated 20,000 suspected senior
Ba’athists, many of them technocrats, have been sacked from the government
machinery.This has been widely criticised as contributing in the atrophy of
the Iraqi state structure.

But Mr Chalabi argued that the policy’s impact had been “very light” and
said a second wave of de-Ba’athification now being finalised by his
committee would be “deliberately harsh”, although not a witch hunt. [Emphasis added]

Given how long he’d been out of the country, we’re surprised Ahmad even managed to find his way to the house.

Thanks to Mrs. Blair for the FT article.

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Don’t know much about history…

From the center for Excellence in Barbiturates, Rush Limbaugh is outraged:

These prescription drug-type programs and other entitlements like them now take up over 60% of the budget. Something has to be done about it, or your kids and grandkids will have tax rates that they’ll simply refuse to pay.

In FY2002, mandatory spending was 59% of all government spending. By 2013 (prior to this week’s Medicare bill) it was expected to be 58%. Which would put it at the same level it has been through the 1990s. Entitlement spending first broke the 50% barrier in 1983 under big government, fiscally conservative, tax cut and spend Reagan. Think the Medicare changes are expensive? The projected cost of $400 billion amounts to 2.6% of all entitlement spending from 2004 to 2013. [Which doesn't make it a good bill, but let's simmer down now, shall we?]

Entitlement spending, should you ever take a look, includes such government giveaways as:

Medicaid $148bn
Supplemental Security Income $31bn
Earned Income and Child Tax Credits $33bn
Food Stamps $22bn
Family Support $26bn
Child Nutrition $10bn
Foster Care $6bn
Social Security $452bn
Medicare $254bn
Unemployment Compensation $51bn
Veterans’ benefits $25bn

All figures for 2002. Total entitlement spending for the year $1,195bn.

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The Miscarriage of Justice Department

Today’s Washington Post reports:

Jailed the night of the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, the Algerian air force lieutenant with an expired visa has spent the past 26 months in federal prisons, much of that time in solitary confinement — even though the FBI formally concluded in November 2001 that he had no connection to terrorism. …

Two years after the attacks, federal Magistrate Judge H. Kenneth Schroeder Jr. would examine Benatta’s case and find a study in governmental excess.

Schroeder issued an unsparing report in September, writing that federal prosecutors and FBI and immigration agents engaged in a “sham” to make it appear that Benatta was being held for immigration violations. Prosecutors trampled on legal deadlines intended to protect his constitutional rights and later offered explanations for their maneuvers that “bordered on ridiculousness,” Schroeder wrote. And he found that the government compounded its mistakes by failing to act once it was clear that Benatta was not an accomplice to terrorists.

Well, as long as it all makes Andrew Sullivan, fearless leader of the 101st Keyboarder Brigade feel safer, we say it was well worth it.

Welcome to Hotel Ashcroft
You can be exonerated anytime you want, but you can never leave

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All the poppy that’s fit to grow

Meanwhile, in a country far far away:

Washington, 28 November 2003 (RFE/RL) — Statistics released by the White House today show that poppy cultivation in Afghanistan doubled between the year 2002 and 2003, rising to a level 36 times higher than during the last year of the Taliban’s rule.

The White House Office of National Drug Control Policy said the area planted with poppies — used to make heroin — is now 61,000 hectares compared to just 1,685 hectares in 2001.

The poor security situation in many Afghan regions was blamed for the lack of drug-control enforcement. The agency’s director, John Walters, said profits from drug production are “putting money in the pocket of terrorists.”

Well, that sounds fucking awesome — pass the poppy and the terrorist funding please!

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So this is where all the old crap is

As the process of moving the old shit will take a few days, for those who just can’t wait, you can read through our greatest hits right here in our geeklog archives…

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More changes than an Elton John concert

This time, we’re not kidding! Welcome to the new Sadly, No! The old entries will be added soon, and new crap will follow.

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Welcome to Iraq Mr. Straw

Was this meant to be funny ironic, or funny ha ha? The Taipei Times reports:

British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said yesterday that violence in Iraq would diminish with the return of power to Iraqis, as leaders of the Shiite Muslim majority criticized the pace of the transition.

Straw, whose visit to Baghdad was unannounced for security reasons, said he did not wish to play down the scale of the unrest that has plagued Iraq since the British and US spring invasion, and sharply increased during the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan that ended this week.

[Emphasis added]

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Does Andy know about Google News?

As Google News delivered another daily summary of Afghanistan news to our inbox, we wondered if Andrew “Liberation has worked in Afghanistan” Sullivan knows of this wonderful service. Perhaps it is not stupidity but mere ignorance that explains why he doesn’t see that the Taliban are still out there, and that beyond Kabul things have not worked out according to plan. We’re busy today, but if someone can email him and ask, that would be great. And now, another Afghanistan roundup:

On The Job With A Taliban Recruiter
Abdul is unflagging in his rounds because he has an almost missionary zeal: to find recruits for jihad – or holy war -waged by the Taliban in Afghanistan. Himself blinded in one eye from action in Afghanistan, Abdul tells prospective recruits: “You might fight at the front line, or you might stand guard at night. You can cook for other Islamic warriors, or you can be a male nurse. Or you can give the fighters money or grain – everything is welcome because the jihad has started.”

On Abdul’s most recent foray into Afghanistan he was accompanied by 14 youths from the remote Pakistani tribal areas in Killa Abdullah district in northern Balochistan province, whom he had rallied to the cause to fight against the “foreign invaders”. Since his return he has another six lined up, all of whom are ready to cross the porous border. He took the last batch to a post in Zabul province, but he has no idea where the fresh recruits will go.

“I have already sent a message to Taliban commanders to seek instructions,” Abdul says, “We will go wherever our services are needed.” In recent months the Taliban have become more brazen and open in their operations, and they are known to be within relatively easy contact by wireless sets or by satellite phones. “The Taliban also have radios and regularly listens to the BBC’s Pashtu service to keep themselves abreast of the situation in the Muslim world, especially in Iraq.”

Afghan optimism blooms

A consortium of a dozen aid groups, including CARE, conducted the survey from April to June. Workers visited eight areas of the country that they considered safe and interviewed 1,479 people individually and 375 others in group discussions.

“There were a large number of areas in the south and southeast that we were not able to go to because we feared for the security of either the staff or the communities,” O’Brien said.

Hillary to spend Thanksgiving in Afghanistan

[Insert your own comments here boys and girls!]

Pakistan tries again to shutter terror groups

Thousands of Islamic militants like Ejaz have changed their cellphones and shifted to mosques and remote locations to evade another government crackdown on groups responsible for violence in Pakistan, Kashmir, and Aghanistan. This latest round targeted six organizations, including several banned last year only to reemerge under new names – demonstrating the ability of the militants to stay several steps ahead of Islamabad.

Turkish Engineer Still Captive in Afghanistan; Rescue Efforts Fall Short

Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai announced that an operation, in the works for nearly for a month, to rescue kidnapped Turkish engineer Hasan Onal had been postponed at the last moment.

As a move to secure a delay and the life of Onal, the offer of money to the Taliban was effective. [Mission accomplished then?!?]

Taliban call for Afghan election boycott

Kabul: Afghanistan’s ousted Taliban have called for a boycott of next year’s presidential election and a holy war against US troops while also threatening attacks on those working with foreigners or in the Afghan police and army. …
A Taliban spokesman claimed responsibility for the killing of a French UN worker and for a bomb blast Saturday night near Kabul’s Intercontinental hotel, which is popular with foreigners. The explosion shattered windows but did not cause any casualties.

NATO’s ‘embarrassing’ Afghan gaps

KABUL, Afghanistan (Reuters) — NATO Secretary-General George Robertson will press alliance nations next week to fill “embarrassing” gaps in resources available to the 5,700-strong peacekeeping force in Afghanistan, diplomats said on Wednesday.

They said the so-far fruitless search for allies willing to provide helicopters and intelligence officers in Kabul was starting to undermine the credibility of NATO’s ambition to expand its mission beyond the capital.

“We still haven’t got the faintest idea how we will meet the shortfalls,” said one diplomat. “There’s an embarrassment factor coming in now.”

Emphasis added in all cases. Happy thanksgiving everyone!

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Loot, there it goes!

The New York Times, the newspaper of record unless Judith “Chalabi” Miller is writing, in which case it’s the newspaper of the Iraqi National Congress, reports:

MIRIYA, Iraq ? A seeming lapse in surveillance by American forces has led to the looting of dangerously radioactive capsules from Saddam Hussein’s main battlefield testing site in the desert outside Baghdad and the identification of at least one 30-year-old Iraqi villager, and possibly a village boy, as suffering from radiation sickness.

The liberal media, in its continued quest to suck up to the armed forces in general and Donald Rumsfeld in particular, labels this a “seeming” security lapse. Beholden to no one, we here would label this as a “WTF was that” kind of development. Especially given what follows in the NYT article:

Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the American commander in Iraq, has ordered an investigation to discover why an arc of eight 75-foot radioactive testing poles at the site was not more closely guarded after American nuclear experts filed a report to the Pentagon identifying them as dangerous after a visit to the site on May 9, American officers said. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld has also taken a personal interest in the case.

Under investigation is how American surveillance of the area, now under the control of the 82nd Airborne Division, failed to spot villagers entering the testing site with heavy vehicles to dismantle three of the poles, or towers, for scrap, leaving heavy tire tracks in the desert. …

American officers who oversaw the complex operation to recover the two unshielded capsules of cobalt-60 have hinted that the failure to identify the looting in September until two weeks later may have resulted from a work overload among experts who gather data from spy satellites.

Oh yeah, that makes us feel a whole lot better — the spies are overloaded with work, and people can get away with the theft of radioactive material from an area under US Army surveillance.

Thanks to Blair for the NYT article.

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Who am I? Where am I?

Last week we commented on something we’d read on Andrew Sullivan’s blog. Frankly our visits there are quite rare — we find that reading the incomparable SullyWatch is a much better use of our time instead. But this morning we were bored and made a quick stop at the Daily Dish. Oh my.

Ponder this: If you were asked to guess Sullivan’s (or any other similarly inept rightist blogger out there) “solution” to the recent bombings in Turkey, what would it be? Send more troops to Afghanistan to get rid of the Taliban and al-Qaeda? (For real this time, not pretend eliminate like 2 years ago.) Help the Turks apprehend those responsible? Make sure that Iraq gets better sooner rather than later? Or would you say: “Oh I know, the EU should let Turkey in, because that would, uh, well, it would, you know, let Turkey into the EU and that would mean, uh, you know, that Turkey is in the EU.” If you guessed the latter, please go to the service counter to claim your prize:

Now is surely the time to bring Turkey into the EU and to reassure them of our solidarity.

Note the comical use of the pronoun as well — “our” should be taken to mean the EU’s, an organization the right usually considers to be the creature of transnational progressivism, that mythical beast rumored to exist in the hallways of the European Commission. We bet that it would take anyone interested 30 seconds to find countless criticisms of the EU by our American friend Andrew Sullivan. But now, the EU (i.e. them, the Europeans) must let in Turkey into its ranks to show “our” solidarity. Looks to us like someone just hired Rush Limbaugh’s former maid — that Oxycontin is powerful stuff.

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With news so good, why bother with anything else?

Andrew Sullivan offers this knee slapper today:

GOOD NEWS FROM AFGHANISTAN: 83 percent of a large polling sample say they are better off than three years ago.

The polling sample was large, but it didn’t cover the entire country. And why is that you ask? If you clicked on the link, you know why:

The aid groups stressed the survey does not necessarily represent the views of all Afghans, because security concerns prevented them from getting the opinions of those living in the most dangerous areas.

Sullivan concludes happily thus:

There is still much work to do in that country. But liberation has worked there. It can still work in Iraq.


Has worked? Let’s hope the people in charge are using a different definition of worked. Sadly, No! brings you this Afghanistan roundup: