I can haz bucket??

That’s OK, McCain said “I know how to win wars” today.

Which wars he’s won or how he won them remains unanswered.

Your pshop + soup = mess all over the keyboard.

I love how Ms. Malthouse completely missed the part where Camp Obama came down hard on Bernie Mac. Isn’t that convenient?

I’m also not sure how Camp Obama becomes “responsible” for Mac’s material … Nope, I’m sorry. Mac and Obama are both African-American men and they are both tuned in to the great Af-AmHiveMind(TM).

How we’ve survived as long as we have as a species is a great and vast mystery that I will never understand.

Come now, 3,000 years isn’t that long. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

It’s this one, Jay B.

How did he win? With a fistful of butterscotch candies and a lot of swearing.

Damnit. That’s this one.

Ouchies. I like Bernie Mac, but that one fell flat.

Hell, I’d buy it eclipsing the Fannie Mae story for political gain… but Bernie Mac? [snark]Who’s he again?[/snark]

Wait wait – I’m confused.

Obama sent the New Yorker to press IN ADVANCE knowing that the cover would distract people from a joke by a comedian the day before the magazine hit the stands?

If that’s true, Obama’s a fricking machiavellian genius!

The fact is, Ann’s gonna come over here now. Now you’ve done it.

Of course, the “McCain knows how to win wars” spiel will be universal masturbation material by our learned masters on tee vee.

That joke is old and stale like Althouse’s….sense of humor.

It was pretty funny the first time I heard it. I swear Chris Rock is the one I heard it from.

If that’s true, Obama’s a fricking machiavellian genius!

There is no length too great for the Antichrist to go to deceive man. </hagee>

Did you see Diana West comparing Obama’s popular and well-attended rallies to … Hitler rallies and “Triumph of the Will”?

(She claimed numerous times that she wasn’t comparing Obama to Hitler, but I rather doubt her sincerity as comparing Obama to Hitler seems to be her not-too-will disguised point.)

(The copy desk was rather amused that she misspelled Leni Riefenstahl so many times, a misspelling that is still visible – as of 10:30 Pacific – at Clown Hall.)

I guess my point is that Ann Althouse helps me appreciate Diana West’s intellect in much the same way that Thomas Sowell helps me to appreciate David Brooks.

You better watch your ass, gary.

Ooh, Diana West. She’s awesome. An archive of her columns usually looks like this:

Islam: Evil in the world
How Democrats promote Islam
Muslims are evil
Our borders should be closed
Our borders should be closed to Muslims
Some random company promotes Jihad
Jihad is bad
I hate Jihad and Muslims and borders that aren’t closed
We should really close our borders
etc.

Did you notice how the controversy about the New Yorker cover instantly eclipsed the Bernie Mac story?

Umm, no actually I didn’t.

Sunday morning, we were all talking about the offensively sexist jokes the comedian Bernie Mac told at a Barack Obama fund-raiser.

Umm, no actually we weren’t.

Don’t forget this one, D.N.:

I’m not comparing Barack Obama to Hitler but look at all the ways Barack Obama is like Hitler.

(Taking a Cheeto-encrusted page from the Jonah Goldberg playbook.)

The truth is that 99% of humanity is just here for genetic diversity. At least, there’s no other discernible purpose for them.

I’m going to take a wild guess here and speculate that she knows nothing about submisison dealines for published material. It’s highly unlikely that an Obama mole whipped up that cover and got it on newsstands in less than 24 hours. Also, can she tell us why Obama is responsible for Bernie Mac’s remarks, but McCain is not responsible for whatever nuttiness Phill Gramm and Carly Fiorina (you know, members of his advisory team) are belching out onto the public airwaves?

I’m not comparing Barack Obama to Hitler but look at all the ways Barack Obama is like Hitler.

Sadly, this position is somewhat moderate for her. I loved the column she wrote decrying our invasion/occupation of Iraq. At first I was all wtf? until I realized that she instead wished we would have just nuked the place.

Cangrejero, I think he’s graduated from War (the card game) to Risk. His advisers tried to teach him Civilization, but he kept dozing off. (That’s just about my most favorite Sadly, No post ever.)

Jersey Tomato, you make excellent points, but I think this might be alittle more to the point:

I’m going to take a wild guess here and speculate that she knows nothing about submisison dealines for published material. It’s highly unlikely that an Obama mole whipped up that cover and got it on newsstands in less than 24 hours. Also, can she tell us why Obama is responsible for Bernie Mac’s remarks, but McCain is not responsible for whatever nuttiness Phill Gramm and Carly Fiorina (you know, members of his advisory team) are belching out onto the public airwaves?

I’m going to take a wild guess here and speculate that she knows nothing about submisison dealines for published material. It’s highly unlikely that an Obama mole whipped up that cover and got it on newsstands in less than 24 hours.

Aha, that’s where you’re wrong! He’s that Machiavellian, he mind-melded with the cartoonist and hypnotized him into creating the cartoon, then sent the magazine to press, knowing that he’d booked Bernie for the day prior to the publish date, and knowing that there was a risk Bernie would make a dirty joke we needed to be distracted from.

See how he is? But that just shows how inexperienced and dumb he is and its all empty words like hope.

Wasn’t it Ann who started the breasts-in-sweaters-near-Clinton conspiracy theory?

The newspaper I work for runs West every week, but I don’t really pay much attention to her. I read so much conservative gibberish – WIlliam Rusher, Bill O’Reilly, Thomas Sowell, David Brooks, Thomas Friedman, Larry Elder, Cal Thomas, Rich Lowry, Kathryn Lopez, Kathleen Parker, Jeff Jacoby, Jonah Goldberg (The opinion page is like an evil clown car that is pacjed with more stupid than you ever knew existed.) – that Diana West is scarcely makes a blip. One of the other copy editors was making fun of the typo on Leni Riefenstahl – reminding me of when Thomas Sowell said Sirhan Sirhan was Iranian – so I read West a little more carefully this week.

I’d like to say she is low-hanging fruit, but in the conservative world, the fruit hangs a lot lower than that. And one particular piece of low-hanging fruit sits in the Oval Office.

I’ll take Anal Tea House for $1000 Alex.

Wasn’t that convenient?

Yes?

I mean, given that these people are the same crop of loonies who attribute God to everything from the birth of man to laxtos intolerance to gay-sex inspired Lousiana Hurricanes, I don’t know why they’d conclude the two big media events had to be so pedestrian in origin.

If you’ve really got to ask why all this happened, just chalk it up to the same excuse you use for everything: Jesus did it.

I am not a fundamentalist, although I am every bit as stupid as one.

Wasn’t it Ann who started the breasts-in-sweaters-near-Clinton conspiracy theory?

mmmm….breasts in sweaters….

“He’s that Machiavellian, he mind-melded with the cartoonist and hypnotized him into creating the cartoon,”

I look forward to his next Pon’Far, when he and George Soros have to fight to the death.

…Or would that be funnier with Amadhinijad? All I know know for sure is that I”m investing in off-weighted sharp fan-stick companies NOW.

Wasn’t it Ann who started the breasts-in-sweaters-near-Clinton conspiracy theory?

that was the occassion where Ann first came to my attention. Good times….

I’ve made mention of this in her comments. How long before she hits the delete key?

Today she has a post attacking the pro-choice movement.

And a new photo of herself, a summery tanned Althouse in skimpy summer wear, breasts concealed.

“How we’ve survived as long as we have as a species is a great and vast mystery that I will never understand.”
Brad, you seem to be assuming that we are not in the process of being over-run by aliens, which I think is the best explanation for the proliferation of right wing nut jobs. Why, that image you posted only supports my thesis.

We’ve lasted this long as a species and, more importantly, as a society and a nation because there were no intert00bz to spread so much stupid to so many wingnuts with nothing more than a click.

I figure we’ve got 2-4 years left as a coherent, functioning America if McCain wins this thing. Even the survival of the species will be 50/50 at best.

Then it’s all assholes and elbows for the opportunity to feast on the roasting flesh of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett as the wretched, starving masses finally take back what’s theirs in a orgy of violence and destruction against the nation’s wealthiest families and financial institutions that fractures the nation and America descends into a Dark Age of 100 years of perpetual regional warfare so terrible as to eclipse the most destructive wars of Europe.

So choose wisely.

The fact is, Ann Althouse is a sad, sad woman. Her nonsense won’t play in either The Heartland or my sweaters.

My admiration for Barry Blitt knows no bounds. He was able to draw that cover and get it to press in under 24 hours?

Poor Ann – she thought she had an “issue” she could ride to relevance. And she’d have gotten away with too, if it weren’t for those meddling Jews!

Glen Reynolds mentions her name and Ann – ever on the hunt for the mere mention of her name makes a full blown post about it.

I see Ann has been hitting the old wine box pretty hard rather early in the day.

You mean that’s a photoshopped picture? Seemed really plausible to me.

You liberals have a point here. Why would the Jew Yorker and the other Jews Who Control the Media(TM) work with Obama or try to cover up a joke by Bernie Mac? I thought the Jews don’t like the coloreds anymore than we do? (I’m not racist, mind you.)

Did I miss an edition of the Big Golden Book of Republican Talking Points?

I like Ann’s take on why there aren’t many jokes about Obama on late-night comedy:

Any decent political satirist should have an instinct to go after the most powerful individuals. I don’t believe Sweeney and Stewart for one minute. The real explanation for the lack of jokes is some combination of the desire for Obama to win and the fear of seeming racist.

See, it’s not the fact that writers or humorists are still trying to get their creative chops around it, they’re deliberately refusing to write material about him.

Let’s take a closer look at those breasts.

I kinda agree with that sentiment about people refusing to write jokes about it.

Dennis Perrin has a great post up today about the same issue.

g. 8 years of a press too gutless to challenge and question, much less satirize, the worst president ever, and has Ann ever made an issue of that? nope.

I love, love the blogginheads post with her and Robin Givhan discussing the fashion sense of Michelle Obama, bare arms and sleeveless dresses and 5 pounds weights.

Oh, and Ann’s new look is groovy, sexy, cougarliscious.

Caption: “Wibble.”

Jebus, I wish I hadn’t clicked the link and read that drivel. Her commenters are perhaps even dumber that she is.

Again, I cry out plaintively, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” Is it all the pollution in the water supply? Is it increased ultra-violet radiation to Teh Brain? What? Why?

I, the real Ann Althouse, have something more important to talk about. Some plagiarizing hack on the internet has been copying my trademark Althousian artistic style without attribution! Whoever you are, you can count this as a formal warning to cease and desist or I will sue you for [takes long swig from wine glass] This is clearly an attempt to stir a scandal to distract everyone from… [stumbles forward]

Oh, I can take pictures of my feet!

Hey Ann! I took a sweet photo of what I was eating, too.

Check it out!

Wasn’t that convenient?

You know, Ann, referencing the Church Lady is just going to remind people (like me) of how much you are her 21st-century equivalent.

‘”What the fuck is wrong with people?”’

I can only assume it comes with living in Wisconsin. Nice place to visit (read: drink), but living there seems to corrupt the neurons and whatnot.

What time today do you think she’ll post a followup saying how her critics didn’t understand it was all a big joke?

So not only is Obama responsible for All Black People, it seems he controls The Media too. And all without an ounce of Jewish blood in him!

He was able to draw that cover and get it to press in under 24 hours?

Yes. AND rush it onto the newsstands! That’s what a bad Bernie Mac joke will do for you. OMG! Someone somewhere associated with Obama X told a joke that might offend someone somewhere, possibly Ann Althouse! Quick — to the drawing board! START THE PRESSES! WE’ve got an inconvenient truth to cover up!!

“What the fuck is wrong with people?”

Candy: 8 years of Bush. Seriously.

Ann Althouse’s inner kitten

…but …but …but Obama himself did NOT like the cover??!!!!! Or is that part of the plan, too?

“I makez everyone talk about how I am a muzlim terrist rather than about a lame joke I attended. Bwahahahahaha!11 I control your mindz, suckers!!!”

If attending a Bernie Mac performance allows you to manipulate the New Yorker’s cover, then buying the DVD of his TV show should give you control of all the world’s media, like the Telejester in that classic National Lampoon story.

[…] like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing […]

Just for the record, I’m not Ann Althouse.

As a Madisonian, I must proudly denounce and reject Ann Althouse. It’s a quite wonderful city actually aside from her daily trivial hallucinations. Really.

I don’t really get the “context” of the Photoshopped image of Ms. Althouse with pencils stuck in her nostrils.

And yet, it made me laugh.

Madison had Killdozer. Yeah man they blew me away.

You Hollow Earth denialists make me sick. When the hollow ones come to hollow you out, which we’re 75% sure is what they do, you’ll wish you had listened. But we’ll be too busy drinking thickening agents and filling in the hollow void with dirt to save you.

For the record, I am the real Ann Althouse. I use pens, not pencils, in the nose. Get it right before I blog about Katt Williams.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com

I can only assume it comes with living in Wisconsin. Nice place to visit (read: drink), but living there seems to corrupt the neurons and whatnot.

Killdozer notwithstanding, as a life-long Wisconsonian, I have to agree with MileHi.

To be a total blogwhore, read this post: http://empireofthesenseless.blogspot.com/2008/07/this-beat-goes-on.html

wisconsin also spawned the Violent Femmes. But Tommy Thompson also oozed out of here, so I’m gonna call it a wash.

As a Hoosier, I know Indiana produced both Dan Quayle AND Kurt Vonnegut.

It’s pretty whacky, there in the Heartland.

I believe it is a place where the shell covering the hollow earth is the thinnest.

Now Althouse is suspicious because Obama said that he liked a Bob Dylan song and Jimmy Carter also once mentioned in a speech that he liked the same song!!!

Could Obama be reading the same books that she is reading and stealing ideas from them? He does seem more likely to steal things than to have an independent appreciation for music – especially music that isn’t rap or hip hop. On the other hand, he would have to read to do that, so maybe it is that Democrats have secretly organized into this massive conspiracy to give him tips on how to win the election.

Either way it is proof of something.

P.S. I wish I were exaggerating, but she is really that fucking stupid.

As revealed, of course, in this fine documentary ….

I am Ann Althouse.

I wash drunk lass night dear mufver… I wash drunk da night bafooore….. But if you’ll PLEEESH forgib me…. mufver…..I’llllll…….never get drunk anymore.

[vomits]

I hate to say it, but on first read I thought the headline read Freddie Mac instead of Bernie Mac.

#

Righteous Bubba said,

July 16, 2008 at 0:05

Madison had Killdozer. Yeah man they blew me away.

Bless you, RB … Eye Heart Killdozer – megatons of pure undiluted win.

Needless to say Ann now has a Cover-My-Ass “Clarification” to “beat you all over the head with” – as usual, unable to comprehend what a 24-karat asshat she’s just made of herself. Maybe someone can quietly slip a little Thorazine into her box of Chateau Tete-de-Merde or something. Is there, like, some gas station in Wisconsin that just hands out LLD’s after a certain number of fill-ups? I weep for her students.

Mmm, & love the ladies that slag on Pro-Choicers … so sexay … particularly when they’re patently well beyond any chance of reproducing, themselves. Nice of Ann to conveniently omit all those dead women that went with the pre-Roe-v-Wade approach to unwanted pregnancy – just to make her philosophical hobby-horse a little more comfy. Real classy, & gutsy too. Nearly as courageous as all the male “Right To Life” twerps, all too happy to make other people’s most difficult decisions for them – ones they need never worry about in their own lives.

oh, those RTL males on that thread want SO MUCH to have sex with teh real live wimmens.

i can see no other reason for the ten to twelve comments that consist solely of “NOBODY WILL HAVE SEX WITH U! UGLIES!!!”