New Wingnut of the Week: Duncan

Before introducing this week’s NWOTW, I want to squelch the nasty — no, hateful — rumor that I snuck into S,N! headquarters on July 4 and then sodomized and ritually murdered the entire staff so that S,N! would be mine and only mine. The truth is that it appears that they all went on a field trip to an undisclosed location — to which I was pointedly not invited — in order to drink copious quantities of tequila, hoover up several kilograms of primo Bolivian blow, kidnap a few evangelicals and force them to have gay abortions. I admit, however, that I have no really good explanation for the putrid smelling sludge that just started oozing out from under the supply room door here. I’m thinking that it must be rotting print cartridges or something.
With that out of the way, meet Duncan, who blogs over at And Rightly So! with that “baying monster” Raven. Raven, as you might recall, had her day of Internet fame when she opined that Iraq war veterans with PTSD were basically a bunch of whiners trying to cadge disability benefits from decent, honest taxpayers like herself.
Duncan hails from Texas and has this to say about himself:
I am a conservative first and foremost. …. I believe that the U.S. Constitution is the best governing document that has ever been created by man, and I believe that the liberal left (and increasingly the Big Government Republicans) have been eroding what the Founding Father’s intended, which was not a huge federal government that continuously stomps on areas reserved for individual states.
Notwithstanding his hatred for the federal government, it hasn’t dissuaded him from taking a paycheck from the federal government for his entire career:
I served in the U.S. Air Force for 8 years as a C-130 pilot and as a primary instructor. I got out and now work for the federal government as a civilian protecting our nation. I reconcile the fact I work for Uncle Sam in that both jobs I have held were Constitutionally mandated, not the creation of some politician looking to spend more tax dollars.
Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.”
Duncan’s bio concludes with a stunningly inane mixed metaphor:
I have a wife and two beautiful children. And I want those children to grow in a country not swirling down the socialist toilet bowl of mediocrity and misery that the left seems to be pushing this country towards like little lemmings following each other off a cliff.
And now for Duncan’s award winning post:
I am really starting to get annoyed with all of the
global coolinger..global warming.. er Climate Change bull crap.My irritation started today when I bought tickets for my family to fly out to visit me in California while I am out there for some training. There was an option on Orbitz.com for me to purchase, since I was having my girls fly on a big-bad-evil corporate airline, some CARBON-FRIGGIN-OFFSETS! I shi’ite you not. I could buy some carbon credits in order
to offset the carbon emissionsto make myself feel better. I honestly could not believe my eyes. I almost wanted to look elsewhere for tickets, …
Will Duncan have the courage of his convictions and find his tickets elsewhere? Or will he send an outraged email to Orbitz customer service? Will he buy the credits with a stolen credit card? Will he decide to idle his SUV in the driveway for six hours to offset the offsets? (Cue drum roll.)
… then realized that this was a pretty good deal and I could not pass it up.
Well, as those stinky-cheese-loving Socialists in that swirling toiled bowl called France say, quelle surprise!
Actually, I truly feel sorry for professional wingnuts like Duncan who can scarcely open their eyes and crawl out of bed in the morning without succumbing to outrage over this or that liberal indignity. Gays on the TeeVee! Carbon credits at Orbitz!! No more trans fats at McDonalds!!1! Al Gore is still alive and using electricity!!!111 Para español, oprima el dos!!!!!1!1!uno! No wonder Duncan probably spends his spare time in a small funky room with shades drawn reading a survivalist manual stained with Ranch dressing and Pop-Tart crumbs.
UPDATE: The fun continues.
Conservatives are so cute when they pretend to like the Constitution. Outside the 2nd Amendment [God Keep It Holy] the other stuff can be thrown out, but as a whole Document it still comes in handy — in order to say “Hey, I think the liberals are wrong for saying we should follow it, but a lot of people say it’s what made this country great, so at least I can still use it to make fun of Brown People for NOT having it!”
I forgot — right wingers also like the “Commander In Chief” part.
Professor Dolan, the eXile’s Nietzche/war/etc guy, said it best when he assessed part of a book he summed up as Comrade Terminator (Full Metal something-or-other, basically a special-forces type who went hard left rather than hard right after leaving active service): in spite of the government’s constant and deliberate bombardment of the military with right-wing propaganda, it’s kind of hard to get around the fact that the Army is meritocratic to a fault (e.g. one of the few jobs where gaming the regular quality assessments is regarded not with bemused acceptance but active, sometimes murderous, hostility towards the pencilling fucker), has a salary gap between top and bottom of less than 3 to 1, and provides full employment and stable food, board, and luxuries. Add the colorblindness and the complete lack of provision for pay discrimination (it’s a big part of why the assholes there want to prevent women from getting front-line pay), and you’ve got basically what Stalinism would be if Stalin lived up to his promises.
Of course, most of the money that goes into ‘defense’ winds up in some kind of elaborate shell game, most politicians feel compelled to treat the military like tin soldiers, and everything I just discussed is finally being eroded (along with any decency that could ever have existed in the armed forces of the world’s third-largest democracy) by the embedding of private mercenaries into any American force. And yes, sometimes they’ll ask you to force an attack dog on a guy who did absolutely nothing wrong, but it beats actually living the horrible life their radio idols think they ought to.
He hates the world, but only to the point where he would actually do anything about it. Typical Conservative.
Of course, none of that absolves some fucking parasite who goes from plodding around bombarding random villages on CIA orders to bombarding random villages on CIA orders for $500,000 raided from GI scholarships per year.
Christ, these people make me so fucking angry. I get hives, I swear.
I’m working on an article about the surreal cultural fixedness of conservatism. I really think a lot of the green movement could fit comfortably into a genuinely right-wing (i.e. not principally devoted to slobbering over Bush’s manly characteristic) movement, and we’d all be better for it – them for at least accepting some kind of community responsibility in addition to xenophobic communitarian bluster, and us for not having to deal with localists and slow-fooders any longer.
Long story short, sneering at carbon offsets because some Oxy-popping idiot on talk radio characterizes them as hirsute Frenchmen is as stupid as identifying shoe retail with feminism.
Now, my American History is not perfect, but I seem to remember something about the founding fathers being a might sceptical of standing armies… And to be really nitpicking, where in the constitution is the Air Force mandated?
in order to drink copious quantities of tequila, hoover up several kilograms of primo Bolivian blow, kidnap a few evangelicals and force them to have gay abortions.
Those gay abortions? Are they anything like high colonics?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
I served in the U.S. Air Force for 8 years as a C-130 pilot and as a primary instructor. I got out and now work for the federal government as a civilian protecting our nation. I reconcile the fact I work for Uncle Sam in that both jobs I have held were Constitutionally mandated, not the creation of some politician looking to spend more tax dollars.
“Constitutionally mandated” civilian jobs nothing, Duncan should look up what the founding fathers had to say about “standing armies.” Hint: they were agin’ it.
If that logo showed up at auction, it would be described as “in the style of J.W. Gacy.”
Duncan probably spends his spare time in a small funky room with shades drawn reading a survivalist manual stained with Ranch dressing and Pop-Tart crumbs.
I’m going to guess that Duncan does all that stuff sitting in a small funky room as a security watchman somewhere; a job that gives him plenty of time to contemplate the world’s condition and visit Orbitz. There are probably brown people who come in to clean up his crubs.
“I shi’ite you not.” Ha! Those brown people’s religious sect sounds like doody! Charming!
[…] Comments Sadly, No! » New Wingnut of the Week: Duncan on More Chicken Little Syndrome….Raven on Penobscot BayRobert on Penobscot BaySorta Blogless […]
Actually, only the Army, Navy and Coast Guard are constitutionally mandated. The Founding Fathers lacked the foresight to understand the need for stealth bombers. Accordingly, for any strict constructionist conservative, the Air Force is an unconstitutional usurpation of something that should be reserved to the States.
Ok, this right wing problem with global climate change confuses me.
But then, prefering a fairy tale over the science of evolution confuses me too.
But anyway. Even without the science, global climate change (the “Greenhouse Effect) is nothing other than basic physics and is logical and makes sense as nothing other than a thought experiment.
We can measure the amount of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere, and we can measure the rate of increase. One cannot doubt that burning fossil fuels releases their carbon as a function of extracting the energy from them.
To say this isn’t happening is mind-numbingly stupid, even without reading any of the science…
mikey
That’s a good way of putting it. I mean, assume that Duncan is right and human-produced greenhouse gases have no appreciable effect on global temperatures.
How do carbon offsets hurt anybody?
The idea of them seems to send him into a gibbering rage but nowhere does he really explain what the problem is.
I wish Al Gore would come out against shoving a screwdriver into your ear, just to see how many of these loons would do it for spite.
“which was not a huge federal government that continuously stomps on areas reserved for individual states.”
I’ll never figure out why it is that conservatives hate Federal government regulation, but think that State government regulation is just hunky dory and peachy keen spiffy.
“Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.””
The only ones that leap to mind are, “President”, “Member of Congress” and “SCOTUS”. I’m pretty sure he’s none of those.
Uh, pally? There was no USAF in 1788, so I doubt that job was mentioned in the Constitution. Just sayin’.
“And I want those children to grow in a country not swirling down the socialist toilet bowl of mediocrity and misery that the left seems to be pushing this country towards like little lemmings following each other off a cliff.”
As opposed to the joys of permanent war and a hopeless, inescapable fiscal class structures. He loves those. And he knows his daughters will love being sold to their husbands for a plump dowry, as God intended.
How do carbon offsets hurt anybody?
Because it’s just some homo scheme Al Gore made up so liebrals can sap our bodily fluids and still get away with using gas and electricity and stuff and then turn around and laugh at us, and besides that shut up.
Owwww!
OT: Today or yesterday Glenn Beck advocated shooting all the Gitmo detainees. In case you want to know more and get links to where to write to CNN and his sponsors, see http://got.to/firebeck
I like direct taxes better than cap ‘n trade but both will work.
I’ll never figure out why it is that conservatives hate Federal government regulation
Because for the authoritarian, government is daddy and daddy fucked over his little boy pretty bad. That’s why you get that attraction/aversion symptom.
“I’ve been a bad boy, won’t you please punish me?”
Duncan’s already mentioned being the NWOTW.
Every time I hear one of those people mentioning The Free Market, it reminds me of the people in Hot Fuzz! chanting “The Greater Good. The Greater Good. The Greater Good…” as if the Free Market is a magical being that raises every American’s standard of living. I’ll admit the Free Market works great for things that people don’t need; like cars, motorcycles, consumer electronics, toys, and such. However, The Profit Motive really sucks when applied to things like health care and higher education. Maybe it’s just me, but I think the first thing someone should worry about after breaking a leg is getting to the hospital, not being able to afford the bill.
Almost forgot about this holiday.
It’s not on my calendar but someone reminded me (I forget who) that today is Happy Bill and Pat Buckley 58th Wedding Anniversary Day.
Another reason to continue celebrating.
(Note to self) Must get new calendar.
What would be great is to watch the Beckerhead’s reaction if a firearm went off unexpectedly in his vicinity. I bet he’d evacuate seventeen pounds of shit into his pants.
He’s got a lot of tough talk in that big mouth of his.
The free market is an awesome solution to the problem of how to make corporations really, really rich. It sucks sweaty balls at almost every other problem it’s been applied to.
Amazing how he’s able to curse the Federal Gubbermint while sucking its teat.
Which sorta makes me think his role in “Protecting our nation,” probably involves guarding the exit ramp that leads to the NSA.
The free market is even awesomer if you can get those who will be crushed by it to sit up and beg.
Duncan’s constitutionally mandated job.
Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.”
Motherfukin’ MALL NINJA!!!
Okay, let me get this straight. This Duncan character has his panties in a bunch because Orbitz offers carbon offsets as an option, to its paying customers who might want such an option because they’re concerned about climate change?
He wants to impose his view of climate change on others by pressuring Orbitz not to provide other customers with something they want?
Doesn’t he know that Orbitz is the GAY travel site?!
where in the constitution is the Air Force mandated?
Section 8, of course:
The Congress shall have Power ….
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide large sums of specie in case that loon Leonardo is right, with his “ornithocopters” and his “air-assault-wagons,” for which they may be used to execute a pummeling of a Foreign Power every ten years or so, to make sure the Foreign Powers understand that we mean business…
Cafeteria Constitutionalists
To provide large sums of specie in case that loon Leonardo is right, with his “ornithocopters” and his “air-assault-wagons,” for which they may be used to execute a pummeling of a Foreign Power every ten years or so, to make sure the Foreign Powers understand that we mean business…
…and so that they may Sucketh. On. This.
They don’t recognize social morality, only individual morality. Which they then try to impose on others.
Quite the mental trick. It’s no wonder they have little brainpower left over to see how self-contradictory they are.
It’s no surprise that assholes lack conceptual skills.
OT: Today or yesterday Glenn Beck advocated shooting all the Gitmo detainees.
God, that man is terrible. It was bad enough hearing this horrific horseshit from the freepers, now we get this fucker on the CNN dole mainstreaming it.
Thanks a fucking lot, you lazy hacks. He was bad enough when you let him pop his mouth off on pre-millennial Darbyism, and now he’s trying to convince your viewers to shoot brown people before the courts give them their home. God willing we’ll get lucky and they’ll mistake one of you with a tan for global Islamists.
PS: M. Beck, I’m actually kind of curious: you know how you thought these guys held information so vital to the security of the world that it was worth compromising the basic morality of not only the US but Christianity itself to acquire it through brutal, unforgivable torture? Have you maybe forgot the old saying about which order shooting and asking questions go in, or have you got it backwards? Are you Republicans now convinced Long John Silver is a Dhimmicrat and dead men do, in fact, tell tales? You stupid shitheel.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Banninated!!!!!!!!!!
You know, the Census is constitutionally mandated, and yet you regularly hear right wingers trashing the Census and its workers — either they’re smart enough to realize that it often counts more brown people who could vote and so they oppose it, or they just think it’s all too in-tie-lekshul to think you got to go count sh*t insteada just figgerin’.
I once heard Neal Boortz go on for seemingly unending minutes with his callers about how much he d*cked with Census workers. Ha! You tell ’em, Boortz!
alec, If M. Beck was reading that, you lost him at the word curious.
A golden oldie from 2004:
“The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous.”
-Garrison Keillor
His constitutionally mandated job is protecting the USA. How? Shut up, we’re at war, don’t ask questions, just thank God and our troops that you can sleep safe at night. In fact you don’t deserve that. You should be in camps. Shut up.
Shut up, we’re at war, don’t ask questions
Oh, dear, PUP, did Congress declare war? I must’ve missed that.
Keillor also went on a notable rant when Coleman got elected in 2002. He was speaking for 75% of us St Paulites who didn’t vote for him (and wouldn’t cross the street to piss on the guy if he was on fire).
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/785492/posts
What could right-wingers possibly have against taking census? What could anybody possibly have against taking census?
What could anybody possibly have against taking census?
An accurate count of the number of brown people in America.
hoover up several kilograms of primo Bolivian blow
More hoover fellows!
He banned me too. Asshole.
Let me guess: it’s “in an extremely sensitive industry whose continued vitality is at least as important to national security as our military operations in the Middle East”?
Census is bad because it’s part of the international blahblahblah conspiracy to cede US sovereignty over to the UN. Haven’t you seen the black helicopters come to pick up the census-takers at the end of the day? They’ve been planning this for a long time.
On the bright side…we could privatize the census-taking by giving the contract to whichever company is best equipped (and we’ll just take their word for it, no need to verify) to get the information to its sub-contractor in charge of sub-contracting the building of homeland detention facilities, and whee, part of the future is squared away quite tidily. Just a spoonful of tyranny makes the census-taking go down.
So, um, yeah. It is weird that wingers get upset by the census.
I think it’s a hangover from the Civil War, like so many of their ideas.
Welp, that’s 4 and half minutes of my life that I won’t ever get back.
Looks like Dunk’s a big Fred fan. Now he woulda made one hell of a candidate, eh?
And, by his own admission, the fella likes to hang out every day at some of the more rambunctious wingnut sites. He’s a rebel.
Other than that, kind of an uninspired choice for NWOTW. Just yer basic, run of the mill wingnut with a website.
Now, if you really want to see some serious nutfuckery, check this out. The posts are few and far between, and there’s no mechanism to comment, but there is a separate forum here.
Good times, man. Good times.
Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.”
The postal service is mandated by the Constitution…
Flying Fox said,
July 7, 2008 at 0:57
What could right-wingers possibly have against taking census? What could anybody possibly have against taking census?
Facts have a well known liberal bias, so only liberals and terrorists would be interested in learning more facts.
Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.”
Postal, treasury, customs, borders, interstate highways.
Mission Accomplished.
Hanx, boosh.
Constitutionally mandated job?
Then I guess “Duncan” is a pseudonym for the president, VP, speaker of the house, or a supreme court justice. His sentence construction is too good for him to be Bush. Maybe he’s one of the less hard-working Supremes. Perhaps Clarence Thomas, or Alito. Saying “ditto!” or “hell yeah!” to Scalia’s vile spewings isn’t really a labor intensive full-time job. There would still be plenty of time for blogging.
Oh my.
http://andrightlyso.com/images/jarheads.jpg
Whatever will they tell his wife and kids?
In fact, I counted four (4) Marines images on his site, and zero ( 0 ) Air Force. Something tells me his Air Force career (couldn’t make the Marines’ PT standards, eh Dunc?) was cut short when the rest of his squadron kicked him out over his constant Marine Corps eroticisms.
That Arthur Hall site’s pretty good, particularly the “Nuke Japan Again” part and the “Manly Do’s and Dont’s”. Here’s one thing manly men don’t do: Read other dude’s opinions of what’s manly and obey them.
As the third blogger at ARS, I expect my turn may be coming one of these days (especially if I do get around to posting a bio).
However, perusing your site, Clif, I am disappointed at how much the art of invective has fallen these days – though many on the right side of the blogosphere are comparably inept.
When I sort through the dirty laundry in this post, I fail to find a refutation of the fundamental irrationality of the carbon credits market as a compensation (though it sounds more like religious absolution than economic compensation) for supposed production of CO2.
Face it: we make choices every day that involve the production of CO2 (apart from our body’s oxidative metabolic processes that create CO2, which collectively may be substantial). If you truly believe that you are contributing to damaging to our environment through this CO2 production (which gets into the whole Global Climate Change issue, which I’m not prepared to enter into here), you can make choices to reduce your CO2 production, such as bicycling instead of driving a car, or purchasing a more expensive hybrid vehicle (though don’t forget that some portion of the energy need to charge your battery has to come from burning fossil fuel, so you may want to look at the actual trade-off before patting yourself too hard on the back). If might not agree with your reasoning, but at least I will respect your effort to make a sacrifice to do something you feel called on to do.
However, I don’t see purchasing carbon credits as representing sacrifice as much as it is a way of buying freedom from (or at least a reduction in) guilt feelings. Particularly since the calculations involved are rather speculative at best, and mythical (or fraudulent) at worse. It really seems like a way that people with money can justify consumptive choices by throwing money at the issue rather than making choices to actually cut back on their consumption. That gives the carbon credits market a very bad smell.
I have received inserts with my bill from my utility company offering me the opportunity to buy carbon credits for the company (as a charitable contribution) in proportion to my utility bill, which they will spend to reduce their possible obligations in this area. This rubs me because it seems like self-serving “double-dipping” on their part, (or even “triple dipping” since they also gain PR benefits as a company doing something for the environment.
But mostly it just rubs me the wrong way because it reminds me of the existence of this dubious “industry” based on faulty premises and dubious business practices.
Clif adds: Uh, civil truth, you don’t see here “a refutation of the fundamental irrationality of the carbon credits” because this isn’t a site where we debate policy. Our job here is simply to make fun of silly wingnuts.
Or, indeed, worry about being manly.
But mostly it just rubs me the wrong way because it reminds me of the existence of this dubious “industry” based on faulty premises and But mostly it just rubs me the wrong way because it reminds me of the existence of this dubious “industry” based on faulty premises and dubious business practices.
.
Watch Syriana. It’s an accurate summary of the faulty premises and dubious business practices that comprise the entirety of the Cheney/puppet foreign policy.
As the third blogger at ARS, I expect my turn may be coming one of these days
I don’t think so. You’re really fucking boring.
Rightwingsnarkle said ‘fucking.’
So that means global warming is a myth.
The free market is an awesome solution to the problem of how to make corporations really, really rich.
The market is a tool for organising the production and distribution of economic goods. It works well under certain, fairly well defined, circumstances (many suppliers, many consumers, relatively free and open information flows) and has several notable and well known flaws (the temptation to externalise costs, possible conflict between economic activity and the community good).
Socialism is a tool for organising the production and distribution of economic goods. It works better than the market under certain circumstances, and has several notable flaws.
Neither of them are gods. Neither of them are devils. The difference between liberals and conservatives is that the former know that neither of these systems are gods or devils.
civil truth, the post was not about the uselessness of carbon credits. It was about your co-blogger throwing a hissy-fit over a company offering them and blustering about not even using said companies services because of it, until he realizes that hey, what use are strongly held moral values in the face of a good deal on plane tickets?
I do happen to think that carbon credits are for the most part a bit of feel-good wankery, but so fucking what? So is masturbation, and I don’t hear you railing against that.
My topic is nothing new. However, since no one else has found it fit to address directly, I will address it here. Before I get moving here, let me point out that Sadly, No!’s newsgroup postings represent an inseparable mixture of reason and human madness, but always in such a way that only the madness can become reality and never the reason. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that if I had my druthers, Sadly, No! would never have had the opportunity to ignite a maelstrom of simplism. As it stands, a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of antisocial adulterers and others in Sadly, No!’s amen corner are about to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity. I have no reason to doubt that story because we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don’t care what Sadly, No! does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Sadly, No! claims that principles don’t matter. I respond that I refuse to dance to its detestable tune.
I don’t mean to condemn anyone’s beliefs, but if Sadly, No! sincerely believes that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as it then it must be smoking something illegal. Sadly, No! will commit all sorts of mortal sins — not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones — sooner than you think. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. Only then can we shatter the adage that Sadly, No!’s vices are the only true virtues.
I respect Sadly, No!’s communications, although it, with its craftiness and pugnacious calumnies, will entirely control our country’s exuberant riches by the next full moon. It will then use those riches to destroy the lives of good, honest people. The moral of this story is that it likes saying that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. Okay, that’s a parody — but not a very gross one. In point of fact, my general thesis is that Sadly, No! seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren’t hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that its prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. I’ll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: I can reword my point as follows. It would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the chthonic things that Sadly, No! has done. I have just enough stomach left to address one last instance of Sadly, No!’s vindictive imbecility: Sadly, No! sincerely believes that it knows the “right” way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli.
I have just checked the Constitution and it does not have the word “job” in it and therefore this guy does not have and never had a Constitutionally-mandated job.
This also proves that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is fake because the words “birth certificate” do not appear in the Constitution either, nor does the word “chocolate” which must also be fake.
Constitutionally mandated job?
I vote for postal worker, the pieces seem to fit:
US Mail is constitutionally mandated;
Veterans get a leg up for USPS hiring, which I’m sure is affirmative action he agrees with wholeheartedly;
He flew cargo planes in the AF: USPS outsources most air freight, but somebody still has to oversee the contracts;
He’s paranoid and delusional and really really pissed off about petty stuff, and it’s easy to recall the phrase “going postal” exists for a reason.
I love that these rightists believe in free speech for everyone who agrees with them, and no speech at all for dirty fucking socialistas who think they’re FOS.
haiku
As the third blogger burning fossil fuel at ARS, I expect my turn may be coming one of these days
perusing your site, Clif, I am disappointed at how much guilt feelings I’m not prepared to enter into here
When I sort through the dirty laundry I don’t see a very bad smell.
I have received “double-dipping” inserts with my rubs even “triple dipping”
Wow, an insecure WordPress 2.5 blog!
For a person like Duncan so involved about security, I am surprised that Duncan blogs on a WordPress 2.5 blog. Open to so many well known hacks. I guess they can’t figure out how to protect themselves by upgrading to 2.5.1.
It also seems a little incongruous that their blog uses a free theme created by a resident of that socialist state, Sweden. Way to support your ideals Duncan!
civil truth: That’s a lot of words to say nothing with.
My topic is nothing new. I will address it here. Before I get moving here, let me point out that an inseparable mixture of reason and human madness can become reality and never the reason.
This is what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that I would never have had the opportunity to ignite a maelstrom of simplism.
As it stands, a colleague recently informed me that adulterers and others in Sadly, No!’s amen corner are about irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity. I have no reason to doubt that story because we are prostitutes. By this I mean that we are fat, warm, and we don’t care what Sadly, No! does. It is precisely that principles don’t matter. I respond that I refuse to dance.
Sadly, No! sincerely believes that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be a noble creature smoking something illegal.
Sadly, No! will commit all sorts of sins — venial ones — sooner than you think. When that event happens, people will feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. Sadly, No!’s vices are the only true virtues.
I will entirely control our country’s exuberant riches by the next full moon. I will then use those riches to destroy the lives of good, honest people. The moral of this story is that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to inject parody — a very gross one.
I point my general thesis at Sadly, No! . What really grates on my nerves, however, is phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. I’ll talk a lot more about that later.
It would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the chthonic things that Sadly, No! has done. I have just enough stomach left to sincerely believe that.
I would bet on census taker.
Duncan did not clearly identify himself as the census enumerator in this story, but this only further supports my point, as it is fully consistent with his mysterious style.
Clif,
I’ve only posted one comment hitherto. The second post under “civil truth” is a forgery. You can verify that by IP number. This is out of bounds, even by the stated standards of this site.
I did read your response; sorry for posting a serious comment. If I do have a reason to post here in the future, I’ll keep that in mind and write accordingly.
I’m little.
Though I must confess that this forged comment is a rather good parody of my writing…
The second post under “civil truth” is a forgery. You can verify that by IP number. This is out of bounds, even by the stated standards of this site.
Ummm… not really. Just ask Ann Althouse.
That’s right. I said it. ANN ALTHOUSE!!!
(Hi there, Ann!)
Jrod, nobody is offering to sell masturbation credits, at least not yet…
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Dude, where’s my recession? Here’s a picture of some random girl.
That was awesome fake civil truth!
civil truth typed: “…”
Keep your heads down, kids it’s a wingnut with a thesaurus!
(What’s another word for “thesaurus?” – S. Wright)
The fact is, unlike Sadly No and other stupid liberal blogs, And Rightly So is a defender of free speach. They do not erase and edit comments they do not agree with the way liberals do, who even ban conservatives from viewing their sites. Conservatives use facts and logic to destroy liberal bias.
Look, this is serious.
Look at this rash.
Do you think I should see a doctor?
Dammit. It itches like a bitch. Hee hee. It bitches! It’s the Hillary Clinton rash.
Oooh. Dammit. Do you have any goddam ointment or something.
Shit…
Though I must confess that this forged comment is a rather good parody of my writing…
I agree that a robot is as entertaining as you are.
Still not all-clear, kids – he’s attempting wordplay!
I think that Duncan is able to justify his govt job with no problem but then why does he not renounce any claim to social security and a govt insured bank account and keep his money under his matress? You can’t have your s’mores and denounce them too.
Moscow Rules, Max. I insist on Moscow Rules!
Agreed, Vlad. But not a the Brandenburg gate, ‘kay?
I wonder if civil truth is aware of the internet traditions upheld here in this fine establishment?
Well, to be civil, I’ll just address the question from the “real” comment.
The reason that the there isn’t a refutation of the fundamental irrationality of the carbon credits market as a compensation (though it sounds more like religious absolution than economic compensation) for supposed production of CO2 is because you’re a poopyhead.
Look jackass, the reason we don’t debate whether climate change is real or not is because it’s real. Your indictment is like saying, well Sadly,No! didn’t address the benefits of teaching intelligent design. It’s because the only people who think global warming is all a bunch of hooey are oil company execs and morons. Idiot.
Looks like I stepped into the middle of this gunfight armed with a paperclip. No surprise as to the outcome.
The second post under “civil truth” is a forgery. You can verify that by IP number. This is out of bounds
Sorry, but the ref did not blow the whistle. Play continues.
Here’s a difference.
Many people fail to be convinced that an effective method of dealing with excess industrial CO2 / greenhouse gas production is through a carbon credits or carbon offsets markets. Including a lot of environmentalists, leftists, average folk, etc.
In fact, there could easily be a lot of significant people backing carbon credits / offset markets who are not convinced it will help a lot — they could simply and honestly believe that that is the best they could possibly do, outside of doing nothing.
But the subject of whether a carbon credit / offset market is or is not an effective way to deal with AGW (I’m highly doubtful myself, but people point out successes for cap & trade w/ credits in the sulfur emissions situation) has no relation to the question of the best model truthfulness of the AGW theory.
Civil Tr00th, you’ll have to pardon RB.
He’s a little distraught, his pet wombat just died.
P.S. Beirut rules.
I looked at Duncan’s site, and all I can say is that I’m sorry to have been in the same Air Force as this guy.
Come on guys. That’s some clever and ballsy blog-whoring by CT. I was going to give him a solid 10 but docked some points for being almost indistinguishable from the ComplaintBot: 9.6.
The “baying monster” Raven got cyber-fame from dissing PTSD victims? General Patton called & he wants his motif back.
Try telling a debunkinista that the “liebral media” lie of Teh Greenhouse Effect was scientifically confirmed circa 1916 – & that the CO2 level jump was so extreme, they went to different glaciers on another continent for more samples, because they were beyond their estimates … then see if their head pops like a big zit. If not, might I recommend the fun fact that we’re now out on the far side of worst-case scenario estimates of a mere 10 years ago, carbon-dioxide-wise.
Irony, thy name is Ruppert.
Conservatives use facts and logic to destroy liberal bias.
Which explains why everything is so jam-packed with liberal bias – Cons suck at destroying it just as much as they suck at everything else.
In point of fact, my general thesis is that Sadly, No! seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren’t hackneyed.
Bwah!! that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day!
Why do I bother actually clicking on those links? Every time I do I see some wingnut mewling and crying about something done to him or her. In the case of this “raven” thing, it doesn’t bother to even affect rationality. It just stomps its feet and cries how liberal everything it doesn’t like is and how that proves all of raven’s points.
Uh, ok, sure.
That is some pathetic shit.
+Please discuss amongst yourselves what civilian job that Duncan could possibly hold is “Constitutionally mandated.”+
Neither, rain nor sleet nor snow …..
I can’t figure out whether civil truth is funnier if he’s serious, or if he isn’t.
But then, I frequently have that problem when considering conservative foolishness and its many imitators.
I guess “Duncan” is a pseudonym for the president, VP, speaker of the house, or a supreme court justice. His sentence construction is too good for him to be Bush. Maybe he’s one of the less hard-working Supremes. Perhaps Clarence Thomas, or Alito. Saying “ditto!” or “hell yeah!” to Scalia’s vile spewings isn’t really a labor intensive full-time job. There would still be plenty of time for blogging.
If Duncan is actually working on the West Coast (I never assume anything said by a fReichtard is truthful, and that includes the words ‘and’ and ‘the’), I’m guessing he’s really John Yoo, now polluting the UC-Berkeley campus. Sure, some people would have you believe that a Yale graduate would produce a more coherent blog than this nitwit, but on the contrary: G.W. Bush.
Funny that a guy from the standing army that constitutionally isn’t supposed to exist thinks he’s somehow umm… Wait, wait, don’t tell me…
“Constitutionally mandated” my ass. The Air Force is *not* constitutionally mandated. Indeed it is clearly unconstitutional. The relevant passage of the constitution from article 1
“To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union,
suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;”
OK that covers the army, the nave and the national guard but there is no mention of any air force. Duncan can not claim that the founders intended that there be an air force separate from the army and the navy. He was collecting his pay in complete blatant violation of the US constitution which definitely does not authorise the raising or the supporting of any air force.
I am not joking. The question “is the air force constitutional ?” was asked by eminent law professor Michael Froomkin.
http://www.discourse.net/archives/2005/11/a_constitutional_law_scavenger_hunt_with_a_serious_purpose.html
How do carbon offsets hurt anybody?
The idea of them seems to send him into a gibbering rage but nowhere does he really explain what the problem is.
I spent Christmas listening to my father, brother and uncle bitch about Al Gore and David Suzuki as if they were the two most diabolical sum’bitches walking Cheney’s green earth.
Apparently that evil fuck Rush (who has destroyed my father’s soul, by the way and I swear that I will piss on Rush’s grave one day for that.) has explained to them that Al Gore has ownership in a company that sells carbon offsets. This is why Al Gore invented the whole global warming scam – to make money.
Their entire understanding of carbon offsets is that you give money to Al Gore. End of story. That’s it. That’s where the money trail ends. You buy a $1000 carbon offset. Al Gore pockets $1000. And then he buys a new tanning bed for his house and leaves it on 24/7.
I’m not going home for Christmas this year.
Meanwhile, ‘How Dare You suggest that a bunch of oil men in the White House wanted to drive up prices so they and their buddies could profit personally, or hand out big unaccountable no-bid contracts to simply give tens or hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to their personal companies! You Wacky Liberal Conspiracy Theorists!’
Isn’t selling carbon credits a wonderful example of the free market? I thought the free market was one of the holy grails of these cats, like telling us who Jesus would bomb and loving our neighbors by shipping them back to their country of birth.
Sheesh, you need a damn scorecard with these bozos.
Aw well, looks like Dunc has closed down the comments. Couldn’t stand the heat from the kitchen I suppose.
I’ve never availed myself of Orbitz.com. I gather from what Duncan said that they don’t force customers to by the Carbon Offset Credits, merely offer the option to those who want it. Sounds like a perfectly capitalistic, market driven strategy to me. Loons like D don’t have to buy them, but those who want to do so represent a market segment not addressed by the sites that don’t offer even the option. Orbitz is merely capturing a bigger part of the market by taking money from gullible liberals. Isn’t that a good thing, Duncumz?
federal government that continuously stomps on areas reserved for individual states.
The white zone is for continuously stomping by individual states only; there is no stomping in a red zone.
My favorite part is small but, I think, telling: Using “shi’ite” (not even capitalized) in place of “shit.”
Such class! Such wit! I’m swooning.
hahahaha! Mysterious Style…?! Duncan is a run of the mill hypocrite, out for himself and not ashamed to use the “I’ve got kids” clause to forgive himself for everything and anything. Since they are precious, he is Holy. lol Fucking jerk with diarhia of the mouth which eventually stinks up the page of a blog the criminals underwrite and No One! should read lest they develop “Stink Eye”
Wotta dumazz! The Constitution only directs (“mandates,” in D-bonics) that the Congress of the United States of America shall “maintain a Navy” and “raise an army.” Doesn’t say Jack Shite about the lame-ass U.S. Air Farce or about “civilians protecting” the nation.
After reading the comments on the referenced ARS article, I am compelled to paraphase Yoda: “A nutter’s strength flows from projection.”
Or how about a Vader: “The projection is strong with this one.”
On the fallacy scoreboard, hypocritical projection is second only to ad hominem on that site. Yeesh.
All because I haven’t bought into man-made global cooling global warming climate change.
I’m always fascinated at the level of purposeful ignorance that goes into denying climate change. They quite literally turn it into a matter of belief, as if wishing it weren’t so makes it dissappear.
Facts aren’t exactly the wingnut’s strong suit.
civil truth said,
July 7, 2008 at 1:45 (kill)
tl;dr
other civil truths: funny. Even the real ones.
Good one, shaun: “…You buy a $1000 carbon offset. Al Gore pockets $1000. And then he buys a new tanning bed for his house and leaves it on 24/7….”
Also, I’m with you on the not going home for Christmas thing. I’ll celebrate teh Solstice and/or Kwaanzukuh by myself, thank you very much. Except…ooh, let’s have a Drinking Sadly Night at your folks’ house on Xmas Eve. (We can talk about this later, mk.)
I find it odd how Guardians of the Right love to point out how the military is their favorite part of the gubmint allowed in the Constitution, but conveniently forget to point out how the Founding Daddies were very much against any large standing military, knowing how it would lead to the death of the free republic they were trying to create.
I guess it’s easy to rationalize that little contradiction when you’re making money off of it.
We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion. A gay abortion.
Wait a minute, C-Dawg. They went on a field trip and didn’t ask you?!!!
Well, you know AG would. That’s because AG hearts you!!
I was simply commenting that yet another commercial organization has joined the eco-chic community and is pushing Sales of Indulgences Carbon Credits upon the thoughtless masses who’ve been told they’re evil because of the carbon footprint..
And here comes the Anti-Catholicism!
(Right on cue, Andrew, here ya go…)
civil truth said,
Jrod, nobody is offering to sell masturbation credits, at least not yet…
Actually, the Catholic church did just that- they were the original “indulgences” to which you refer.
If you gotta stomp, or unstomp, use the white zone. You’ll love it. It’s a way of life.