I’m thinking there’s some hidden symbolism in nut-flavored cream for Ol’Jay, arbiter of all things swishy.

He’s obviously trying to come up with a very long-winded explanation of why he was found in the women’s bathroom of an Italian museum.

Seems to me that Jay and his friends can’t get over the fact that Castro wanted to be a baseball star before he became a dictator.

This man needs an editor. I recommend Bert Prelutsky.

I’m just glad that Jay’s friend never got his hands on the rare and valuable Stalin and Mao trading cards. It would be a shame to see something so rare and priceless defaced.

Repressive Communist Dictators – Gotta Catch ‘Em All!!!

Next up: “I went to the Coliseum and it was in terrible shape. Total lack of civic pride, they should have a bond issue to repair it, like Philadelphia did for Veteran’s Stadium. We should our veterans, every Memorial Day. Every Veteran’s Day too. We should honor our veterans year round. Especially the dead ones.”

Maybe Jay thinks David could be defaced and auctioned off – as another lesson. To no one.

“Excuse me, I skipped an ‘honor’ in the previous post. We should never let our veterans suffer a lack of honor, however inadvertant.”

Is nothing sacred? Those Commie-Islamo-Elitist-Atheists have perverted baseball cards, the most innocent and pure of all things American. I mean Fidel Castro?!?!?! That’s just wrong. They should be doing cards about real world leaders.

My son collects baseball cards, and used to think they were an investment. Then he turned 12.

Beckett (Beckett!) has that card going for about one dollar, which is about one dollar more than most people in the “the anti-Castro, pro-freedom cause” deserve.

So either Nordlinger’s Wall Street friend is a terrible judge of investment value or he’s not quite as righty-tighty as J.N. thinks.

Interesting story behind this.

Sadly, No!

Wow, that was cripplingly boring.

Y’ever notice… that conservatives, as a group, seem alarmingly provincial and boorish?

Y’ever notice…

Repressive Communist Dictators – Gotta Catch ‘Em All!!!

Or as I saw on the Italian Pokémon merchandise, Acchiappali Tutti. Gotta keep my elitist international cred strong, here.

Nordlinger needs a Bloggingheads with Ann Althouse. They can discuss staplers, what flowers are prettiest, gourmet salt-grinders, and why waterboarding isn’t actually torture.

I lived in Italy (Napoli/Verona) for 5 years and every WC sign I remember were clearly marked Uomini / Donne.

He’s just an ass.

Jay Nordlinger:

Finally, I went into an “artisanal” ice-cream shop — it was simply calling me — and had their peanut ice cream. Yes, peanut ice cream, and it was ambrosial.

Ambrosial?

This from the guy calling Donatello’s David ‘swishy’?

Jay, meet mirror.

.

So, went from “He didn’t want it in anyone else’s possession.” to “So he decided to deface the card and auction it“. Now, I’m no eBay afficionado, but if you auction something, doesn’t the buyer sort of… take possession of the auctioned item? Regardless…

I wonder if the original seller also donated the money to the anti-Castro, pro-freedom cause.

Say, who’s in charge of the anti-Castro, pro-freedom cause nowadays? Does s/he have PayPal or do you have to send donations via snail mail?

He bought the card. He didn’t want it in anyone else’s possession.

This is also why his pal’s home is crammed with hard core XXXXX amputee-on-goat porn. Really.

The rest of his drivel illustrates why the State Department tells American tourists to keep a low profile and if asked, say they’re from Canada.

One day Canada will sue the crap out of us or, preferably, invade.

I’ve got the perfect baseball card for Mr. Nordlinger:

http://www.snopes.com/sports/baseball/ripken.asp

Y’ever notice… that conservatives, as a group, seem alarmingly provincial and boorish?

It’s painfully clear if you encounter any of them while traveling abroad. My wife and I like to play “Spot the Ugly American” when we’re outside the country – well, “like” in a forced-smile, hipster ironic sort of way.

Surprisingly, when we were in Italy, the biggest assholes we met were British. These were clear winners, verbally abusing a left-luggage clerk for, basically, not knowing where these tourists were at 3:00 a.m. the previous night, even though they themselves weren’t too sure. At least the scene was entertaining because Italian service people give as good as they get when faced with obnoxious customers.

Every other time we’ve gone abroad the Ugly American award has been earned by actual Americans. This time, we were comforted by the fact that the provincialist-dick title at least remained within the Anglosphere.

“There’s a Burger King just off the Piazza by the Uffuzi — I just like to stop in to places like these, what with being a lover of freedom and what not — and ordered something incomprehensible to me: Well, i can’t remember what the Itals called it (there was a Vietnamese woman serving me and Africans were cooking the fries) but it was a “Whopper”. Incredible! Or is that French? Anyway, i noticed that there was some gum on the sidewalk just outside the door, so I grabbed my family and sat at nearby table to see who would step in it first. The man wearing swishy “Gucci” loafers! Of course, I thought, elitists only look down when it’s to regard someone with contempt. Soon after, we went to the train station to tackle Rome.” — Jay Nordlinger, Under the Tuscan Fun

[N]ordlinger has just characterized one of the crowning works of Western art as faggy.

Well… to be fair, it kind of is, though the preferred taxonomy is probably more along the lines of ‘homoerotic’ instead of ‘swishy,’ and I imagine that typing ‘homo’ and ‘erotic’ in the same sentence is far, far too risky for your typical wingnut’s self-image to contemplate.

Beckett (Beckett!) has that card going for about one dollar, which is about one dollar more than most people in the “the anti-Castro, pro-freedom cause” deserve.

But that’s for a non-defaced card! The starting bid on the defaced Fidel Castro card is $2,000.

I have some used V. I. Lenin coffee grounds and a piece of Pol Pot pizza crust I’m thinking of offering for $5,000 each.

Damn you WordPress!

The starting bid on the defaced Fidel Castro card is $2,000.

Wow – has anyone actually bid on it?

I suppose if no one does, the seller can just stew and gripe about how nobody loves Freedom enough to spare a few bucks.

English tourists are almost all dicks and the more of them there are in an area, the worse they get. My parents made a point of heading out into the middle of nowhere where my countrymen never go, at least partly so we could be sure we’d get away from any cringingly xenophobic fellow Brits.

It’s inevitable to a degree, as lots of the English are dicks. But holidaymakers seem to be worse. They assume that they don’t have to show respect for anybody else while they’re on holiday, they expect the natives to serve crappy British food (anybody who goes on holiday and complains about the food there instantly descends in my opinion like a man without a parachute) and they refuse to speak anything but English.

And yet it’s us who don’t like Europe much more than the other way round. Never got that one.

son of a blown goat. this is #3

Here’s something I never noticed in the adjoining Pazzi Chapel – or maybe I once knew about it, but merely forgot: a memorial to Florence Nightingale. What’s she doing there?
A monument to Florence Nightingale stands in the cloister, in the city in which she was born and after which she was named.

“right after Bill McNeil’s hard-hitting expose of outrageous lyrics in rap music, and Matthew Brock’s feature on the “Dilbert” cartoons that are sweeping the nation.”

I like that Nordlinger — he’s a total dillznoofus.

Rocket Fuel! DAMN!

I expect WordPress’ll eat this again. I guess it does hate nurses.

Here’s something I never noticed in the adjoining Pazzi Chapel – or maybe I once knew about it, but merely forgot: a memorial to Florence Nightingale. What’s she doing there?
A monument to Florence Nightingale stands in the cloister, in the city in which she was born and after which she was named.

Wow – has anyone actually bid on it?

No, but the potential buyers are probably still hunting down pennies hidden under the crumpled Ron Paul leaflets and empty Chef Boyardee cans.

If there were ever a time to wish that the good doctor was real and prowling around Florence…

Here’s something I never noticed in the adjoining Pazzi Chapel – or maybe I once knew about it, but merely forgot: a memorial to Florence Nightingale. What’s she doing there?
A monument to Florence Nightingale stands in the cloister, in the city in which she was born and after which she was named.

I like coffee.

I had coffee in Burbank once.

Then I went to the bank. In BurBANK! What Fabulous Irony.

WFB loved irony.

But he didn’t iron his own shirts.

Actually, I don’t own an iron. Well, to be honest, I DO have a waffle iron.

Waffles are good.

I need new sneakers. Maybe I’ll sneak out of work this afternoon and buy a pair.

Are pears in season yet?

mikey

How many countries did Castro invade to steal their oil?

Signore, signori? Proof that Chowderhead is right!

BTW, whenever I have the opportunity, I piss off a Scotsman by asking him whether the WC pictograms cause them a problem.

I used to love freedom but then it told me it didn’t like me that way and now we are just friends.

mikey, save that post for the next time S,N rips into McMegan. It’ll be just as appropriate.

Hafta share this one:
Scene: Inside the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam. It’s crowded. American woman turns to her friend and says “Her taste in wallpaper wasn’t very good.”

Then the question was, “What do I do with this card? Do I have some kind of ceremonial burning?”

God damn it, every time you think he’s said the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard he just keeps going. And these dipshits accuse liberals of being all about symbolism over substance.

It’s inevitable to a degree, as lots of the English are dicks. But holidaymakers seem to be worse.

Pity. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, back in the Colonial days.

I haven’t noticed that British people were especially annoying abroad, but maybe I’m just more attuned to the offenses committed by my own countrymen. Or maybe the Americans are just louder about it all.

Interesting story behind this.
———————-
Sadly, No! Wow, that was cripplingly boring.

Yes, it was. But to be fair to Nordlinger, it was probably very interesting to people who are very interested in things that aren’t interesting.

“Yes, peanut ice cream, and it was ambrosial. I of course thought of WFB — who would have loved it.”

In his tiny little heart, Nerdlinger was secretly thinking about licking something, anything connected to WFB. That’s his Ambrosia.

Peanuts Be Dam*ed.

Carry On

FWIW, worst tourists I’ve ever seen were Canadians vacationing in Maine. No lie.

interloper said,

May 28, 2008 at 18:42

I lived in Italy (Napoli/Verona) for 5 years and every WC sign I remember were clearly marked Uomini / Donne.

That would not have solved Nerdlinger’s problem. Those are still Italian words.

In George R. R. Martin’s “Wild Cards” series, Castro became the pitching coach of the Brooklyn Dodgers. And Frank Zappa was a general.

Clearly, baseball hates America.

That would not have solved Nerdlinger’s problem. Those are still Italian words.

Still, it’s easy to work out – “Uomini” sounds a fair amount like “women”, doesn’t it?

Still, it’s easy to work out – “Uomini” sounds a fair amount like “women”, doesn’t it?

That’s what he planned to say to the police.

“But then they branched out into other athletes: My friend has Michael Jordan…”

Um… Michael Jordan played baseball for the Birmingham Barons AA team (he was signed as a free agent by the Chicago White Sox) during the 1994 season, leaving in March 1995.

On a completely irrelevant note, I own a couple sets of non-sports trading cards ’cause I am positively queer for horror movies (Universal Monsters of the Silver Screen and Hammer Horrors).

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320257015646

Zero bids as of this posting. This guy really lost his mind when he discovered a Castro baseball card that failed to take into account Castro’s non-baseball related atrocities. The defacement is glasses drawn on castro’s portrait, notes of Castro’s various acts, adjectives (anti-capitalist, mass murderer), and the line “Just because a murderer likes baseball doesn’t make him cool.”

As obnoxious tourists go, Brits may be loud and brutish in their way, but from my observations Americans are plain ignorant and thick, and seem to think that the way it’s done in the good ole U.S.A. is the way everybody does it.

“Just because a murderer likes baseball doesn’t make him cool.”

True enough. Didn’t Emperor Little Boots want to be the commissioner?

Jim said,

May 28, 2008 at 19:47

That would not have solved Nerdlinger’s problem. Those are still Italian words.

Especially rich given this guys belongs to the party that cries “English Only!” at the top of their lungs back home.

…from my observations Americans are plain ignorant and thick, and seem to think that the way it’s done in the good ole U.S.A. is the way everybody does it.

That matches what I’ve seen. Why do people who can’t stand things being done differently ever bother to leave the U.S. anyway?

I was staying on the Kona coast a few years ago. One of the bigger suites upstairs had this big party. I was down below, on the beach. As they got louder, I heard their accents. So I shouted up “Hey! Are you guys canadian?” They assured me they weren’t, that they were from minnesota, but I thought they were lying.

So the next day I hollered up “How ’bout today? Are you guys canadians today?” Still they denied it.

I would have beat them to death with a pool cue but I was on vacation…

mikey

a memorial to Florence Nightingale. What’s she doing there?

Golly, what IS a memorial to Florence Nightingale doing in the city she was born in and named after?

whenever I have the opportunity, I piss off a Scotsman by asking him whether the WC pictograms cause them a problem.

Godsdammit, PeeJ, I was going to make a kilt joke.

Zero bids as of this posting.

I put it on my eBay watch list, just to see if anyone is goofy enough to bid – and I think they might be; this appears calculated to appeal to the kind of morons that have way more money than sense.

$2000 for a vandalized baseball card isn’t so bad when you consider that the shipping is free!

from my observations Americans are plain ignorant and thick, and seem to think that the way it’s done in the good ole U.S.A. is the way everybody does it….

Why do people who can’t stand things being done differently ever bother to leave the U.S. anyway?

I saw a family like that in Nurnberg, all complaining at the tops of their lungs about how much everything and everyone in Germany sucked, and wearing fucking US flags all over their clothes. WTF is wrong with people?

Way to Go, Nerdlinger

And he should change his name to turdflinger

From the Wikipedia link that Protected Static provided:

David was a very controversial statue for many reasons. One reason was the fact that it depicted a nude young man, with much detail on the genitals.

You don’t say! I would be remiss if I didn’t note that David was rather….erm….lacking in that department.

Fabulous hat, though.

WTF is wrong with people?

After thinking about it a bit, I’m guessing that they don’t realize that other countries are different from the U.S. until they get there, and they’re expecting Rome to be a theme park with some cool old buildings and stuff, and otherwise just like their own town.

Luckily, they’re building replicas of all the interesting foreign sites in Las Vegas, and all the flag-wavers can go there instead of acting like dicks out in the real world. It’d be sort of the social Yucca Mountain.

Apologies to any residents of Las Vegas here.

You don’t say! I would be remiss if I didn’t note that David was rather….erm….lacking in that department.

It’s alright, he works his hips to full advantage. I’m sure he has to fight off the big hairy Goliaths left and right.

I would be remiss if I didn’t note that David was rather….erm….lacking in that department.

Aubrey Beardsley and Tom of Finland were still a few centuries away…

Fabulous hat, though.

Don’t forget the matching boots. That kind of coordination takes some practice, and a certain je ne sais quoi to pull it off…

Hey, Goddammit!!

I’ll have you know I’m a grower, not a show-er

And it’s not the size of the Chisel, it’s the way you swing your Hammer!

Wow, I was gonna say based on the link, the defaced card would go for less than a buck, but he’s actually asking $2000 for it? The sad thing is, I suspect someone at the National Review will arrange for a bid. But that’s how wingnut welfare works…

Maybe if he had found a clever way of defacing it, instead of just writing all over it with a sharpie. The only way this sells is as part of a money laundering scheme.

The sad thing is, I suspect someone at the National Review will arrange for a bid. But that’s how wingnut welfare works…

If that happens? I’m gonna be ALL OVER it. Fresh new Nom-de-Intert00bz, personality of a thoughtful, if sociopathic wingnut, out raising funds for all the “right” causes.

I will create one symbol of resistance or support after another, none of which will cost more than a buck fifty. I will offer them on eBay, with the promise that the revenue, minus of course a small operational budget, will go to the cause specified. If they’re willing to write checks to make points, I’m gonna be in that business…

mikey

In the picture, it looks like he actually cut away part of the card. And he also admits to beating the corners on a hard table to symbolize how Castro has ruined Cuba, and cut it with a knife to symbolize the torture of Cubans. Methinks he has family that fled in the fifties, instilling him with a sense of violation vis-a-vis Castro. He’s still a buffoon.

I will create one symbol of resistance or support after another, none of which will cost more than a buck fifty.

Good plan, Mikey, but they won’t take you seriously unless you charge at least $1000. I’d say go for $1500, to undercut Castro-card guy but keep the snob appeal.

Maybe if he had found a clever way of defacing it, instead of just writing all over it with a sharpie.

Somehow it reminds me of the SNL skit where Jon Lovitz was being Picasso.

Here we see the wingnut career trajectory. First you start out as Joe Malchow; eventually, after years writing about nothing in particular, you end up as Jay Nordlinger.

I must say that Nordlinger is much younger than I expected. I’d always envisioned a senile old man nattering away in the darkness–some ancient friend of Buckley’s, perhaps, who was kept on out of charity. It’s a bit depressing to think that this guy has half his career ahead of him.

I wasn’t going to click through since I have an allergic reaction to NRO, but I had to in order to get a look at the card. Here’s a link for others also afflicted.

OMG! The horns, the little red blood drops, the brilliant addition of “, jerk” to Fidel’s name. Brilliant. All that’s missing is a line saying “I R 2 Growed UP!”

More turdflinger (since I clicked it, I might as well milk it):
I said what a surprise it was to find a superb jazz ensemble on the Charles Bridge.
almost as surprising as finding classical music from old Europe played in American concert halls. I mean, Prague with quality jazz music – who would have thought it? After all, it’s not like anyone associates culture with that backwards deadbeat city. It’s like the Met playing Tchaikovski at Carnegie Hall. I mean shouldn’t they be doing vaudeville instead?

I would be remiss if I didn’t note that David was rather….erm….lacking in that department.

To be fair, he just got out of the pool.

Yes, you’re quite right, whats the point of going abroad if
you’re just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded
by sweaty miners sons from Kettering and Boventry with their
bloth baps and their bardigans and their transistor radios
complaining about the tea, ooh they dont make it properly here
do they – and stopping at endless Majorcan bodegas selling fish
and chips and Watneys Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and
sitting in their cotton sunfrocks squirting Timothy Whites sun
cream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they
overdid it on the first day.

And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellevueses
and Bontinentals with their International luxury roomettes
and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German
businessmen pretending to be acrobats forming pyramids and
frightening the children and barging into the queues. And if
you’re not at the table spot on 7 you miss your bowl of
Campbells Cream of Mushroom soup – the first item on the menu
of Internaional cuisine.

And every Thursday night theres bloody cabaret in the bar,
featuring some tiny emaciated dago with 9 inch hips, and some
fat bloated tart with her hair Brylcreamed down and a big arse
presenting flamenco for foreigners. And then an audio-typist
from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarhea trying
to pick up hairy legged wop waiters called Manuel.

And once a week theres an excursion to the local Roman remains
where you can buy Cherryade, and melted Ice Cream and bleeding
Watneys Red Barrel.

And one night they take you to a typical restaurant with local
atmosphere and colour and you sit next to a party of people
from Rhyl who keep singing “Torremolinos, Torremolinos”.

And complaining about the food.. ooh its SO greasy isnt it.
You get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with
an Instamatic camera and Dr Scholl sandals and last Tuesdays
Daily Express and he drones on and on and on about how Mr Smith
should be running this country, and how many languages
Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the
Cuba Libres. Then sending tiddly postcards of places they dont
realise they havent even visited…. to all at number 22,
weather wonderful, food very greasy, but we have managed to
find this tiny little place hidden away in the back streets
where you can buy Cheese and Onion crisps and Watneys Red
Barrel. And spending four days on the tarmac at Luton airport
on a five day package tour with nothing to eat but dried BEA
type sandwiches and you cant even get a glass of Watneys Red
Barrel cos you’re still in England and the bloody bar closes
every time you’re thirsty. And the kids are crying and vomiting
and breaking the plastic ashtrays and they keep telling you
it’ll only be another hour although you know damn well your
plane is still in Iceland and it has to come back and take
a party of Swedes to Yugoslavia before it can come back and load
you up at 3am in the morning. And then you sit on the tarmac
for four hours because of ‘unforseen difficulties’, ie. the
permanent strike of Air Traffic Control; and when you finally
get to Malaga airport and everyones swallowing into Vioform
tablets and queueing for the bloody toilets and queueing for
the bloody armed customs officers, and queueing for the bloody
bus that isnt there waiting to take you to the hotel that
hasn’t yet been built. And when you finally get to the half-built
Algerian ruin, called the Hotel del Sol, by paying half your
holiday money to a licensed bandit in a taxi; thers no water
in the pool, theres no water in the taps, theres no water in
the bog, and theres only a bleeding lizard in the bidet!
And half the rooms are double booked and you cant sleep anyway
cos of the permanent 24 hour drilling of the foundations of
the hotel next door. You (play while appaling ????) apprentice
chemists from Ealing pretending to be hippies, and middle-class
stockbrokers wives from Esher, busily buying identical holiday
villas and suburban development plots just like Esher, because
the Labour Governments got in again.
Meanwhile the Spanish National Tourist Board……

Clive James has a lot to answer for…

The bloody nerve of those Italians, using the Italian language to label public washrooms in Italy! Why the next thing you know they’ll broadcasting radio and TV programs in Italian, publishing Italian-language newspapers.

And what’s this I hear about them allowing Black and Chinese folks in their country?

I was in a restaurant the other day and the restrooms were labeled “Men” and “Women.” And those words were way too close for bathrooms that millions of foreigners use! I mean, way too close. What were they thinking? What terrible signage!

So I burned the place to the ground and howled a primal scream of triumph! Or at least thought about it.

(a) Most a them furriners are so stupid, they don’t even know how to talk ‘merican!

(b) I’ve heard of tourism in India, but Indian tourists?
What?!?

(c.) (because just a “c” in parenthesis is “(c)”) the kid/fawn pics are cute.

Also, “you’re plagued by appalling apprentice chemists”.

handy said,

May 28, 2008 at 20:08

Especially rich given this guys belongs to the party that cries “English Only!” at the top of their lungs back home.

See, you guys are just making his case for him – clearly you’re soft on Italian Sanctuary Cities.

Mr. Smoketoomuch said,

May 28, 2008 at 22:14

You’d better cut down a little, then.

I think it’d be a good idea to have universal signage for bathrooms. For the men’s room, a stick figure with a round head and 2 distinct legs; for women, a stick figure TAKING FOREVER.

This is Sadly, Borscht!, right?

Dude, Jay. “Ambrosial”?

I saw a family like that in Nurnberg, all complaining at the tops of their lungs about how much everything and everyone in Germany sucked, and wearing fucking US flags all over their clothes. WTF is wrong with people?

That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. Had I my say anybody doing this would be indefinitely detained and subjected to a thorough programme of beatings and brainwashing until they were able to conceive of the idea that maybe, just possibly, not everything has to be like the collection of shitty hovels they call home.

Anybody who isn’t prepared to see that change and difference isn’t necessarily bad isn’t really sentient.

Because the doors were marked Signori (meaning men) and Signore (meaning women). And those words were way too close for bathrooms that millions of foreigners use! I mean, way too close. What were they thinking?
He’s right. The words “men” and “women” are confusingly similar.
Fortunately, he is wrong about millions of foreigners using bathrooms. Everyone knows they prefer to crap in the gutter, so the confusing signage is not actually a problem.

One day Canada will sue the crap out of us or, preferably, invade.

I, for one, welcome our new Canadian overlords.

Man, you people are slipping. Eighty one comments?

I would have beat them to death with a pool cue but I was on vacation
No more details about your job description, please.

For the men’s room, a stick figure with a round head and 2 3 distinct legs.

*snicker*

That’s not sexually transcendent!

I have been exposed to crippling stupidity in my time, but holy sheepdoodle! This is gamma-ray, ionizing stupidity.

you can’t burn an idea

Yet. But trust me, the GOP is working on it.

Man, you people are slipping. Eighty one comments?

Count your blessings. A lot of those long threads are 80% troll vomit.

Idiot tourists come in all flavors, colors, and ethnicities, both here in the USA and elsewhere — including Americans in other parts of America; I spot them in the streets of Darkest Beverly Hills every time I go to the podiatrist. My best friend has German relatives who come over demanding cold cuts (liverwurst, yuck!) for breakfast and refuse to give tips because in Germany the tip is part of the bill. So let’s not blame nationality for stupidity and blinkered perspectives.

So let’s not blame nationality for stupidity and blinkered perspectives.

No, no, it’s OK. I’m an American, so I can say Americans make piss-poor visitors to other places. It’s the same principle as that n-word exception the racists are always whining about.

Count your blessings. A lot of those long threads are 80% troll vomit.

Yoo, hoo!

Yoo, hoo!

Yeah! Like that.

* sniff *

My feelings are hurt. Just wait until 1905 – I’ll show you then.

My feelings are hurt.

Oh, I didn’t mean you!

Look, the statue of David must be swishy because the model had to stand around nekkid in front of another dude.

Everyone knows that if another guy to looks at your wedding tackle for more than 5 seconds you’ll catch a massive irreversible case of teh gheys. This is why WingNutDuds get their mommies to excuse them from gym class, never, ever workout and always use the stalls in the mens’ bath … well, forget about that one … Anyway, um … yeah. Don’t look at nekkid guys. Don’t let guys look at you nekkid.

First, where can one start a petition to have Mr. Nordlinger change his name to Mr. Sudlinger, so there is no chance he’s ever mistaken for Canadian?

Second, you’ve got to love any nation where the National Tourist Board may as well have “The wogs start at Calais” as their motto (islands do have a habit of xenophobia);

Third, having lived for years in a tourist trap designed for Americans (Victoria, BC), my favorite question so far is “Do you have real money?”

And (totally getting my nerd on) David has small genitalia because that was admired in Greece as proof of sophistication and elegance, and Michaelangelo imitated that style. Packing a massive “meat and two veg” was considered bestial and vulgar, though there is little comment on what women of the area thought about this belief.

Second, you’ve got to love any nation where the National Tourist Board may as well have “The wogs start at Calais” as their motto (islands do have a habit of xenophobia)

God, yes. Good job Germany’s in the middle of a continent, otherwise they might have had some really bad moments in their history.

Why do people who can’t stand things being done differently ever bother to leave the U.S. anyway?

Because they are sick and goddamned tired of their neighbors talking about their European trip(s) and lording it over them like they’re so goddamned superior . . . . what, you think we can’t afford to go to Europe? We’ll show you – we’ll spend thousands of dollars on a trip we will go out of our way not to enjoy! And then we’ll be able to go to the 4th of July barbecue at the rec center of our gated community and loudly say that your European vacations are just snobby elitist affectations! Because Europe is stupid!!!!!!!

So what do you think of that, Jones? Huh?

The Brits on holiday in Italy are snooty assholes. The worst are Germans, who let their kids piss on the Palentine hill – you know, the center of the western world.

Most Americans are fucking insufferable – we were extra careful to be nice, to try and learn at least some italian or apologize for asking for english – and then some dumbshit from Iowa would start yelling that he wanted a Diet Coke (Coke Lite being too much of a translation) and why can’t these bastards learn english?

Can’t recall where, but i think that Castro was an extra in a film or two, way back when…

good post. So i guess i should take all my SIP collectables and burn them to increase their value?

You are not right.