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Fadge Thee Well, Fain Thesaurian
The Empire Strikes Back
by Joe Malchow on May 21, 2008Whatever the varying definitions of “overreaction,” one must undoubtedly be the debauching of a governance system, tested by the centuries and manifestly contributory to the weal of the organization it controls, because the last three or four elections have not fadged quite as one desired. Yet those are precisely the circs at Dartmouth College, where four independent trustees have been elected over better-funded candidates who support the College’s executives unswervingly. And now? As mystery writer Roger L. Simon says, the empire is striking back.
Meet the $10,000 prizewinner of the America’s Future Foundation 2008 College Blogger Award.
Judges included Jonah Goldberg of National Review; Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit; Radley Balko of The Agitator and Reason; Jonathan Adler of The Volokh Conspiracy; Robert Bluey of the Heritage Foundation and RobertBluey.com; Mary Katharine Ham of TownHall.com; and Megan McArdle of Asymmetrical Information at TheAtlantic.com.
Prior recognition of Mr. Malchow’s enthusiastic contrafribularities include classmates laughing at his prose, a 2007 fellowship from the Wall Street Journal, and the role of The Fratboy in the TBogg epic, Blow it Out Your Ass, Fratboy.
Jacob Singer said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:22
I couldn’t fadge quite as I desired this morning, but fortunately I had some Handi-Wipes.
aimai said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:23
Jacob singer beat me to it. But I do want to add something of which Mr. Singer is apparently unaware. The use of “fadged” tells me that Mr. Malchow’s secret love is regency romances. Since that is the only place the word “fadge” ever appears.
aimai
Dimwitted fadger said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:28
Weals within weals!
t4toby said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:32
Tell me this is a joke.
I’m begging you.
Its like Foghorn Leghorn got hornswaggled by the Oxford English Dictionary.
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:35
That Malchow excerpt made me laugh out loud. So did Dartblog’s About page. In the words of El Guapo, these guys are funny guys.
SamFromUtah said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:35
We don’t need no stinkin’ fadges!
Manifestly contributory to the weasels, indeed.
RepigsLuvOxycontin said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:37
Kinda like chimp awarding endless Medal Of Freedoms to the various traitors and criminals who infest his bubble.
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:43
Can I help you?
Yes, I would like to complain.
Ah well, you’ve come to the right place. Take a seat and tell me your complaint.
Well, as a governance system, for the last couple of decades I’ve been loyally contributing to the weal.
I see the contributions are on your record. Very manifest of you.
Yes, but I was under the impression that it was some kind of rare, endangered weal. The other day I looked it up in the textbook, and it turns out to be a commonweal!
Principal Blackman said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:45
I remember when fadging used to cost like $100. Now you can get it for less than $5. Ah, the weals of progress….
Aaron said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:45
That Tbogg piece is priceless.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:48
That is the most cromulent thing I’ve ever read.
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:49
The Oxford English Dictionary can swoggle my horn any time.
Principal Blackman said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:51
That is the most cromulent thing I’ve ever read.
It certainly embiggened my soul.
Jacob Singer said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:51
I’m starting to feel… embiggened.
Jacob Singer said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:52
DAMMIT.
Bruce said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:54
What’s that old adage…the fucking morons leading the fucking morons, or something like that.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:55
Teh Wiki on weasels just gave me a new band name…
Weasel War Dance
Also, “the common noun for for a group of weasels include boogle, gang, pack, and confusion.”
I canz hom skool?
PeeJ said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:56
Wow. With a panel that includes those epistolarical epitomes the fadging must have been …
Wait a minit. “fadge?” I’m lexically precocious but I don’t know what ‘fadge’ means.
Yep, he deserves the Megan McCardle writing award allright.
Joe Malchow said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:56
My privileged white upper class fadgina is angry!
Joe Malchow said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:57
A confusion of wingnuts?
mikey said,
May 28, 2008 at 0:58
Yeah?
Well, me and my boogle gonna come fadge you up…
mikey
t4toby said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:00
My gaydar just overloaded.
t4toby said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:03
Also writing for the Dartblog:
Well…Hello, Sailor!
Lesley said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:03
Ew……..that paragraph sucks hairy goats balls. I bet he sat back after writing it with a big self-congratulatory erection.
Shorter Dartblog said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:04
FAIL!
Me said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:05
That link to his classmates laughing at him contains the single longest, most incomprehensible run-on sentence in the history of letters. And yeah, I’m including Finnegan’s Wake.
Fozzetti said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:07
I read that 3 times and ‘fadge’ was the only word I understood, tho it’s context was comusbatualorie. I do recall a Heyer character saying “That won’t fadge!” and the other character saying “Fudge!” Highly entraknowglabering, it was, too. I think the person Malchow is a ninnyhammer, or “Precious little in his cock-loft!”
Shorter Dartblog said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:09
cock-loft?
Jay B. said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:11
Whatever the varying definitions of “overreaction,” one must undoubtedly be the debauching of a governance system, tested by the centuries and manifestly contributory to the weal of the organization it controls, because the last three or four elections have not fadged quite as one desired.
Translation: Webster’s defines jagoffery as the “wanking of oneself in print”. And some other shit. Weal or imagined? Up to you.
Yet those are precisely the circs at Dartmouth College, where four independent trustees have been elected over better-funded candidates who support the College’s executives unswervingly. And now? As mystery writer Roger L. Simon says, the empire is striking back.
Wow. Where does Simon get that stuff? FUCKING BRILLIANT. The EMPIRE strikes back. Not the other way around! My God, I hope that someone makes a movie about that.
Jennifer said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:11
My gaydar just overloaded.
Maybe his name is really “Manchow”.
robert green said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:12
wait, so did the bad guys win the election to the board of dartmouth or not?
i refuse to find the answer myself, due to a combination of crepulance and perspicacity.
Shorter Dartblog said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:15
Thae ‘About’ page is worth the trip, Mr. Green
t4toby said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:15
Damn dangling strawman….
Blue Buddha said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:16
Nice panel of “experts”. Apparently, they are easily won over with the excessive use of a thesaurus.
PeeJ said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:17
An earnest young man name of Malchow
about his vocab wanted to crow
impressing his cheetoh stained fandom
the words (from his fat ass) were random
But did he succeed? Sadly, no!
Radley Balko said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:17
I didn’t vote for him.
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:19
That link to his classmates laughing at him contains the single longest, most incomprehensible run-on sentence in the history of letters.
It also features the following noncupatory image:
to feast on buffalo wings disguised as slovenly Boston University students
henry lewis said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:22
If I may briefly portmanteau, Malchow’s prosal scrivaculations are posifully assnificent.
MrWonderful said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:23
What TBogg said.
The sub-HL Mencken prose, the chickenhawk “let’s you die for my freedom” clarion call, the affected “loftiness” of perspective, the sheer absence of experience in the world, the unseemly rush to posture like a patrician in the hopes that a real one will bare his ass for the consecrating kiss, the open solicitation for a sinecure among criminals–it all leaves me with one question.
Is it Joe or Joel?
OTB said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:24
Somebody’s gotta do a flowchart of all these CIA front organizations. AFF my fadging affhole.
Blue Buddha said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:29
Apparently, the buffalo wings’ clever disguise as BU students did not prevent them from being devoured. Amazing what a little (or lack thereof) punctuation can do.
A governance system said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:33
When I came to, four independent trustees were debauching me. Roger L. Simon was pointing and laughing.
tb said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:35
Hell, I can do that:
Methinks yon whelp must refrain forthwith from this literary (and literal, me-also-thinks) endeavoring at autofellation, and sign his ass up for the Corps of Marines, that he may do something useful like muck out the Playce of Shittynge. FORSOOTH.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:36
The fact is, you liberals
tigrismus said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:39
Though I tend to logopandocie, Mr Manchow is a circumfloribus babliaminy guilty of the worst sort of contravivulating embolalia.
Also, if Dartmouth comprises an inland empire, surely we must liberate Hanover at once.
RepigsLuvOxycontin said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:41
> Thae ‘About’ page is worth the trip, Mr. Green
I took that tip. Pretty funny. It is exactly what you’d expect from a bunch of uneducated (and unaware of it) undergrad college repigs. I’m surprised they didn’t have “desert island disk” lists with the inevitable one classical, one blues, one jazz and the rest alt-rock schlock that those efforts at self-congratulation always hold.
The list of links includes at least one non-blog – a link to an retail audio equipment website. They must be setting up a safety (record player salesman) if their regular refuge from working (wingnut welfare punditry) doesn’t work out.
Smiling Mortician said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:42
Guys, leave off poor Joey Mal. Didn’t you hear? His last three or four erections didn’t fadge in quite the way he desired.
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:52
An OG DFH showing how it should not be done.
Smiling Mortician said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:53
Oh my.
Hail, and well met! . . . I also am very interested in high-fidelity audio . . .
I find need to elaboraticize my previous entreaty to dissuade chastiseosity and ridiculement flung within proximity of M. Malchow, for I fear he labors under the disadvantageous happenstance of domiciling in a neverending and circuitous “loop,” as it were, in which the year of our lord 1953 steadfastly and recursively persists.
Smiling Mortician said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:57
J—, I require students to read that essay every quarter (I also require “Shooting an Elephant” and “A Hanging” when the mood strikes). It’s interesting — went through a period of a decade or so (mid ’90s to a coupla years ago) in which students absolutely didn’t get it. They’re getting it again now, though.
henry lewis said,
May 28, 2008 at 1:59
The fact is, you liberals
With haste most sudden and belying his usual phlegmaticity, Gary has clattered upward from his typing implement, rushing headlong towards the Place of Shittynge muttering darkly of Jack-in-the-Box mayonaisse and requests timely assistance in rendering the sentence above conclusive, steadfast and final with moist tears of gratitude and a heartland’s worth of regret..
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:03
That’s good news, Smiling Mortician. I find myself going back and reading it again pretty frequently, at least once a year.
Batocchio said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:18
Holy crap. They really don’t learn how to write at Dartmouth, do they? Or is it just that all the more conservative students feel such learnin’ is for cultural elites? Surely Powerline can make room for one of their own…
tb said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:27
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe she really is “unhealthfully” preoccupied with Bing Crosby.
Susan of Texas said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:31
Laws, how fatigued I am of such discordant political discourse . Verily, it is like Princess Leia matching wits with Han Solo.
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:36
They really don’t learn how to write at Dartmouth, do they?
Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. Malchow represents a certain category of Dartmouth College student. I read the first sentence of the excerpt and said to myself, “This sounds like some Dartmouth Review pampers pedant.” And lo, I did anon espy his succeeding sentence!
Dean Booth said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:38
What Gary meant to write:
The fact is, you liberals
ARR
RRRR
RRRGH!
John O said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:39
Thank you. I used to think I was a shitty writer, and still do objectively.
But you’ve unquestionably given me subjective hope. Damn you, Obama!
Gerald Curl said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:39
words : Malchow :: nails : Kaczynski
Papa Smurf said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:39
So we fadged over to Gargamel’s castle, fadged our way in and fadged Azrael silly. Gargamel got upset and tried to zap us but we fadged him one right in the butt and fadged home.
Just fuckin’ with ya, we totally smurfed all that.
John O said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:40
henry lewis, that was truly a gem.
I consult the mighty Thesaurus too infrequently.
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:42
I didn’t vote for him.
So, did Goldberg vote for Malchow because he couldn’t understand him, or did he vote against Malchow because he couldn’t understand him?
Dick's Cheney said,
May 28, 2008 at 2:59
“The reader will forgive us that what appears in this column is on the whole hastily dispatched; it is in the nature of the Internet. We promise to provide accurate data, confident reportage, a quick turnaround——and we may occasionally succeed in being entertaining. It is not, we think, a poor deal for the reader.”
I choose to believe this is parody. If not, could you imagine what dreck these gits must have turned out for their Freshman English assignments?
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:09
A governance system I wished to debauch,
But my fire did not even scorch.
My intentions so lusty
Elected no trustee;
I spent the night out on the porch.
Lesley said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:11
Monsieur Fadgely Weal brings to mind this bottomless schmuck.
kc said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:17
I’m laughing my fadging ass off.
PeeJ said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:20
from “About Joey Malchowderhead”
Please just shoot me now before I go back to read any more of his pompous fadgering.
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:21
Fadges, I’m depending on you, son
To pull the family through
J— said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:23
Monsieur Fadgely Weal brings to mind this bottomless schmuck.
A bit of Profundus Maximus, perhaps.
LA Confidential Pantload said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:27
Dude’s batting .400 in wingnut indylekchual leagues – watch your ass, Paul Cella…
Righteous Bubba said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:31
A bit of Profundus Maximus, perhaps.
MaxiMUS, you pestiferous fustilarian? MaxiMOS (aka Jeff).
Fozzetti said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:31
From Geogette Heyer’s “Frederica” HB page 218: “. . .but, Dash it, Freddy! There’s precious little in Charis’ cockloft!” Meaning her head, I presume! I speculate that roosters for cock-fighting were kept in the loft of a barn? At any rate, the word ‘fadge’ is used from time to time along with “pitching it too rum!” and “Doing it rather too brown!”
jim said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:44
Omphaloskepsis with a computer.
The extra syllables are no substitute for IQ-points.
So many big words for such a tiny intellect.
Anne Laurie said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:53
I think the person Malchow is a ninnyhammer, or “Precious little in his cock-loft!”
Or, to use the old Irish insult in its original & unabbreviated form: “Small potatoes, and few in the hill.”
IIRC, Dartmouth has been the “safety” Ivy for rich young nepotists too stupid even for Princeton since shortly after its foundation as an early examplar of guilt-driven affirmative action…
Lesley said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:55
A bit of Profundus Maximus, perhaps.
with a healthy dose of lamer and a pinch of Ego.
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 3:58
A brief observation: there are two ways to fancy up your language. One, the amateur way, is with vocabulary; the professional way is with diction.
Amateurs will try and use five-dollar words like ‘fadge’ that they have never heard spoken. They will also use polysyllabic words without any real reason for it, and they will trot out the thesaurus at a moment’s notice (leading often to ruin, as ’synonyms’ in the thesaurus are never quite as identical in connotation as they seem to be from denotation alone).
When one wants to look fancy to people who actually speak English well (instead of illiterate wingnut whores), the way to do it is to use usual words in unfamiliar ways. When context suggests one meaning and prior experience suggests another, the writer has in some small way broadened your mind about the versatility of language, and more specifically about the versatility of certain words. This is especially true of words that have been fixed into certain usages which are not necessarily their only ones: any word for a legislature (‘congress’, ‘parliament’ – in fact, ‘diet’ works on both levels!), for instance.
Incidentally, this is why half-literate goons are so damn amazed by them ol’ magical Grecians – translators from the Greek pepper the text with undertranslations and mistranslations, often simply moving the Greciate root of some word into the target language in spite of the root having a different meaning. Any astute reader of conventional translations of Plato needs a booklet devoted to the translation of otherwise common words.
This is actually a pretty easy way to make who you’re translating sound smarter than they are. Philosophy is rich with this: students of Sartre do not discuss nausée or mauvais foi, but Nietzsche’s use of ‘ressentiment’ for something the literal translation of the word covers beautifully is as fixed as the stars in Heaven.
not even an mba said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:01
You think this is hilarious, wait until someone get’s him the CliffsNotes for Derrida.
The nonsense usage of words is pretty hilarious, but consider, through the
obfuscatory verbiagebs, his actual point.That’s right, independents being elected over the authority’s yes-men is an example of the empire striking back. College boy hasn’t even watched the trilogy.
Lesley said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:03
Someone should calligraph TBogg’s post, mount it in an ornate gold frame and send it to Little Lord FadgleRoy.
Mister DNA said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:14
Since no one else has mentioned it, it needs to be said: Radley Balko is one hell of a journalist. His reports on the increasing militarization of US police departments deserve wider coverage.
Plus, he didn’t vote for this douchebag.
Marita said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:14
Hey Boston Sadlys: I need your e-mail addresses! E-mail me at my screenname at mit.edu, ok? Thanks!
kc said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:15
Fadges, I’m depending on you, son
To pull the family through
J_ wins!
Fozzetti said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:23
” . . four independent trustees have been elected over better-funded candidates who support the College’s executives unswervingly. And now? As mystery writer Roger L. Simon says, the empire is striking back’
This gives the impression that the better-funded candidates are the ones who support the College execs unswervingly. And The Empire Strikes Back was a star wars movie, yes? (With dialogue ripped off from Gone With The Wind)
Leonard Pinth-Garnell, said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:24
Welcome to “Bad Undegraduate Blogs.”
Snorghagen said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:27
What a surprise. I would’ve thought that this guy would be heavily into funked-out 1970s porn movie soundtracks.
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 4:32
‘Western classical’ – none of that chinky shit, please!
I’ve always been of the opinion that liking baroque makes you a kind of fraud. I’ve always found Bach joyless and formulaic (can you call music which spends most of its energy repeating a single theme anything else?); while he’s okay, pretending to gush over baroque composers leaves me fuckin’ cold.
I have known a few people who simply like the way baroque sounds (hell, I’m married to one), but for the most part it just seems like something they learn to affect liking to sound like a musically sophisticated thinker.
If you can’t describe in any coherent way why your Palchibel is better than this, don’t bother pretending to be all clever with him.
(There are a couple of exceptions to this, of course – Purcell’s transcendently beautiful at times and can write circles around Bach as far as I’m concerned – but for the most part I can’t stand music written in the West before the French Revolution.)
Typical Hardworking White American said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:00
Me thought elitism bad.
What this fadge shit? Knuckle-dragger panel give Ronald Firbank wannabe fadge boy prize? Not is elitist? Me confused.
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:02
“My gaydar just overloaded.”
Didn’t you mean to write, “pegged?”
SomeNYGuy said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:06
Just another grandson of Yiddish-speaking immigrants who fell headlong into a copy of “Brideshead Revisited” at a too-impressionable age. Happens all the time. There are still very discreet gay bars on the Upper East Side that cater to them.
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:11
“words : Malchow :: nails : Kaczynski”
Um, Sadly, No. Kaczynski’s nails were, unfortunately, effective.
Snorghagen said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:12
Lighten up with the generalizations, buddy. I like Bach just fine and I have all the musical sophistication of a potato.
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:12
“I choose to believe this is parody. If not, could you imagine what dreck these gits must have turned out for their Freshman English assignments?”
Sadly, Yes!
El Cid said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:13
“Yes, prize people? Do you have any openings for someone who likes to sound like a tired and cranky 70 year old emeritus professor of Greek and Latin classical rhetoric?”
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:17
Good Heavens, look out Sir Percival Phlogiston Carstairs Carruthers Bigglesworth! The huns have released fadgisterally exclusive guangery puissanterria!!!! Only large cuangous phenomoloid vorglomnen can counteract this attack!!!!
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:23
“Yes, prize people? Do you have any openings for someone who likes to sound like a tired and cranky 70 year old emeritus professor of Greek and Latin classical rhetoric?”
I’ve known more than one person who fit that description. The litle rat doesn’t come close.
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:26
IF we reverse polarity!!!! Within three standard galactic minutes!!!
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:30
She cried away her life said she was married to Fmabel…..
Toby Esterhase said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:31
You’re old an spy in a hurry, George. You used to say they were the worst.
stryx said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:34
…one must undoubtedly be the debauching of a governance system, tested by the centuries and manifestly contributory to the weal of the organization it controls,….
I dare anyone to convince me that this isn’t an an elaborate joke, perpetrated by RighteousBubba with a JanusNode script.
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:36
That douchebag Karla stole your lighter, George. Anyone that would steal your ligher, would steal your wife, George. Fuck him.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:52
An Ivy League education is a terrible thing to waste.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:53
Fadges? We ain’t got no fadges. We don’t need no fadges! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ fadges!
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:55
Lighten up with the generalizations, buddy. I like Bach just fine and I have all the musical sophistication of a potato.
Well, yeah: as I said, there are people who like the way it sounds, it’s just that there aren’t that many of them compared to those who claim to.
It’s a very popular kind of fraud is what I’m getting at, not that it’s inherently fraudulent. No aspersions intended.
The main point was that Cromulent Lad is almost certainly pretending to enjoy Bach (ask him to name a favorite piece and he’ll pick a famous one) so as to embiggen his Intelligenzesweal.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 28, 2008 at 5:55
Wordpress.
Hmpf!
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:00
“I choose to believe this is parody. If not, could you imagine what dreck these gits must have turned out for their Freshman English assignments?”
My guess is that they got a D from the professor, at which point they had a good laugh over the terrible damage done to these kinelike statelings’ Weltanschuung by welfare pimps. (Gratuity-apportionment souteneurs?) Then they’d have Pater pay the dean a few hundred-K to blackball the poor sap.
My guess is that your job in a position that involves dealing with these Lords a Leaping is to smile, nod, get as high as the position allows, and live a rich internal fantasy life in which you beat them about the head once for every syllable. It’s the nastiest kind of sinecure, but it’s all you can really do.
t4toby said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:01
I wasn’t going to touch ‘pegged’ with a naive Dartmouth Junior.
And styx may be on something here. Bubba? Are you behind this?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:16
Good bach stuff?
Michael Reynolds, cello – Complete Suites for Solo Cello by J.S. Bach (scroll)
Krassen said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:18
alec,
you totally shamed me, man.
I am writing a scientific paper, and was searching for a word to describe “a reagent pool to be distributed among various subreactions”, so I decided to use “reagent budget”. Felt pretty smart about it, until I read your comment.
Am not changing it, though. Deadline is in a week…
Anne Laurie said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:19
“Mr. Malchow is specially fond of American standards and swing, Western classical and baroque, and the opera.”
I heard: “Mr. Malchow is tone-deaf and cruising for a rich sugar daddy, so he sticks to admiring musical forms where he can take his cues from the stuffed shirts sitting to either side of him.”
Herd behavior — it’s the wingnut way. Think of a vast herd of wildebeests, complete with oxtickers, biting flies, and great clouds of dust and churned manure. Of course wildebeests are better-looking and more gracile than your average Dartmouth graduate…
Lesley said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:24
A world without pretentious gits wouldn’t inspire this:
Good Heavens, look out Sir Percival Phlogiston Carstairs Carruthers Bigglesworth! The huns have released fadgisterally exclusive guangery puissanterria!!!! Only large cuangous phenomoloid vorglomnen can counteract this attack!!!!
Bring it on!
Dan Someone said,
May 28, 2008 at 6:25
I have never been so glad I got rejected by Dartmouth, lo those may years ago….
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:09
I’ve always found Bach joyless and formulaic (can you call music which spends most of its energy repeating a single theme anything else?)
None of that trash talk about heavy metal…
If you can’t describe in any coherent way why your Palchibel is better than this, don’t bother pretending to be all clever with him.
You mean, use words to justify one’s preferences about music? Because that’s just a little bit silly. Unless you want that “description in any coherent way” to come in the form of an interpretative dance. Or painting. Or neo-classical architecture.
Smut Clyde said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:10
Though I tend to logopandocie
“Logopandocie” sounds delicious and I would like the recipe.
ice weasel said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:14
Blowchow is just another recipient of wingnut welfare failing his way to the top.
heckuva job jojo.
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:30
Krassen: Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lookin’ fancy is one of the reasons we have a language; I was simply pointing out what does and doesn’t work for fancy-making with people who speak English well. ‘Reagent budget’ is good, and ‘budget’ is close enough to what it usually means that it doesn’t even look pretentious.
The main point is that using five-dollar verbiage in a deliberate effort to impress makes you look like a semi-literate peasant. Of course, if you’re a moneyed wingnut like this guy, ’semi-literate peasant’ is all you can really aspire to; Heaven forbid they outwrite their hero Ayn.
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:43
Toby: yes, we are the worst, aren’t we?
Snorghagen said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:54
Your statement ambulates with moral chiaroscuro, heightened by a cryptohygenic brio that I find both crenellational and preorgasmic, but without the lachrymose pseudobovine perianalism so often associated with clubfooted Latvian stumphumpers.
SamFromUtah said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:55
You mean, use words to justify one’s preferences about music? Because that’s just a little bit silly. Unless you want that “description in any coherent way” to come in the form of an interpretative dance. Or painting. Or neo-classical architecture.
Damn straight. I get embarrassed reading nearly anything written to try to describe music. I start getting annoyed when it’s about rock and the author hauls out the “crashing chords” cliche.
And I reserve special contempt for anyone who describes Rush music as “objectively the best”.
“I like it because it ROCKS!” is about as honest and readable a written justification of a musical preference as you’re going to find.
Mick Rofls said,
May 28, 2008 at 7:59
Yeah, fuck those prensie Dartmouth governanciers in their fucking prensie guards.
George Smiley said,
May 28, 2008 at 8:01
“…Western classical and baroque, and the opera.” Not opera. Teh opera. And Teh Dance. And Teh Gay. Speaking of which, Wolcott sez Veronica Part is dancing Swan Lake in NYC this Sat., and there are tickets available. Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaal!
alec said,
May 28, 2008 at 8:02
And I reserve special contempt for anyone who describes Rush music as “objectively the best”.
Oh, God. Do people do this? Why would people do this?
I don’t even know why people listen to Rush, let alone . . .
God, I’ve got to lay down.
trollhattan said,
May 28, 2008 at 8:31
Why, oh why teh Sadlys no be on Skippy’s blog roll?
Suspect link to Dilbert blog will trigger restraining order from Scott Adams. Link to McSweeney’s confirms dey no unnestan parody.
Pathetic little trust fund gobshites.
celticgirl said,
May 28, 2008 at 10:41
Now all we have to do is submit this to the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. I smell a win!
Fadge-y Lee said,
May 28, 2008 at 14:24
He’s unperturbated with sidereals of yore
He kens contiguous metamorphose is manifest concurrently
He’s patrician sufficiently to synthesize whats dexter
But innervated adequately not to preferentialize it
He’s sapient satisfactorily to victorialize the terrestrial orb
But mooncalf enow to squander it
He’s a contemporaneous biospheric entity.
tigrismus said,
May 28, 2008 at 15:10
Fraud? Jesus Christ, Alec, if you don’t like Bach just say so, there’s no need to question the intellect or character of those who do.
rz said,
May 28, 2008 at 16:05
From the ‘about’: “He takes a particular interest in political elocution and other ignoble uses of English.”
Another sad case of a writer working with a thesaurus at his side and not a dictionary.
not even an mba said,
May 28, 2008 at 16:06
Hey alec,
So you think if it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it? Well you better watch out our Zombie Johann Sebastien is gonna rise from the dead and slap you in the face with his organ.
not even an mba said,
May 28, 2008 at 16:17
Fixed.
MrWonderful said,
May 28, 2008 at 16:38
Though I tend to logopandocie
“Logopandocie” sounds delicious and I would like the recipe.
Can do, Clyde.
Logopandocie is a conflation of the Spanish “loco” and “pan dulce.” Its literal meaning is “crazy sweet bread.”
1. Take some bread.
2. Spread with jelly, jam, preserves, or honey.
3. Crazy!
Quicksand said,
May 28, 2008 at 19:39
logopandocie
Lap dance? Pole dance? Log what?
kenga said,
May 28, 2008 at 20:45
You know Bubba, I can go months, sometimes more than a year, without recalling that I own a Smurfs of Gor poster.
And then some wit reminds me …
Righteous Bubba said,
May 28, 2008 at 20:58
a Smurfs of Gor poster
Take a picture of it. It sounds great and I’d like to see it.
kenga said,
May 28, 2008 at 21:00
“Smurf her good Lusty!”
I’ll see what I can do.
Theron said,
May 29, 2008 at 3:51
I’m not an English professor (thank all that is just). Why anyone would volunteer to spend a lifetime grading Freshman Comp papers I can not imagine. But I still have to deal with clowns like this all too often. “Weal” and “fadge” and the like are usually signs of one of two things: 1) Plagiarism or 2) Obfuscation. The first is an automatic flunk and the second generally leads to Cs and Ds, as the paper in question doesn’t really say much. It’s precisely these bozos, however, who go on to law school and then run for office. God help us all.