Zero To Stupid In Three Sentences
Posted on May 13th, 2008 by Mister Leonard Pierce
You really have to hand it to the Doughy Pantload. If nothing else, he’s efficient:
What do Yucca Mountain and Guantanamo Bay have in common?
Well, there’s the obvious stuff. Both have Spanish names.
Actually, Jonah, “Yucca” is not a Spanish name. The Spanish name for that area would be “Yuca“. Thanks for playing, though; it’s good to know that the same dedication to fact-checking that made your book such a hit is still serving you well.
See, the problem is, that dunce cap makes him look like the Tin Man, and it was the Scarecrow who had no brain.
Dum dum baDUMMMMMMMMMM
Give the guy a break. He forgot to make an entry in his PDA reminding him to have a fucking clue, before writing this piece. If only his reader(s) had properly researched this for him. In any event, knowing stuff about a subject, before yammering on about it, is classic liberal fascism.
Five.
Five dollar.
Five dollar foot loooooooooongggg
I like that song.
He’s like James Brown: the hardest working dumb in the news(ish) business.
Wow. I hadn’t read a Goldberg column in forever. The stupidity is amazing.
Near the end – “The halls of Congress echo with righteous denunciations of Gitmo’s alleged horrors, but silence reigns supreme when it comes time to offer serious alternatives”
Here’s a serious alternative. NOT DOING IT. Doilet toilet.
The intertoobs say that Guantanamo is “an aborigonal name” which makes it Indian, not Spanish.
Stupid to infinity.
It’s a good thing he isn’t just a little smarter or he would have thought of storing the nuclear waste at Guantanamo.
Uh, no the REAL stupidity is that just like many geographical names in the western hemisphere (including Guatemala) the name isn’t Spanish at all.
Guantánamo is an aborigine name that means “land beween rivers”.
It’s pretty damned easy to see it has neither Latin nor Arabic roots. Fucking moron.
Remember that scene in Animal House when John Belushi, imitating a ‘zit’, fill his mouth full of jello and then squeezes his cheeks and spews it out? That’s what I think of every time I see Jonah Goldberg!
The inquisitive, curious, intellectual portion of Jonah Goldberg’s brain said,
May 13, 2008 at 21:38
Five.
Five dollar.
Five dollar foot loooooooooongggg
I like that song.
Finally, someone uses the most obvious wet-fish-slap to come along since “Where’s The Beef?”
btw, don’t trust any guinea pigs to Jonah’s care. Just sayin….
I love that song too!!!…..(it appeals to my ‘inner fascist’)
I say we store the nuclear waste at Jonah’s house.
And the nuculer waste goes in Crawford. I hear there’s plenty of freshly-cleared land.
Guantánamo is an aborigine name that means “land beween rivers”.
It’s pretty damned easy to see it has neither Latin nor Arabic roots. Fucking moron.
Come on, it ends in a vowel! That makes it automatically Spanistic, or at least Italianate.
And Jonah’s right in a sense……they are both politically radioactive?
What do whales and sea turtles have in common?
Obviously, they’re both fish. Also, liberal elitist environmentalists want to protect them. But what you didn’t know is that fisherman don’t just kill cute animals out of cruelty; they are trying to catch fish. If fishermen couldn’t catch fish, they would starve. In fact, if they didn’t kill whales and sea turtles, even more fish would die because the whales and turtles would eat them. As far as I know, the worst thing for the environment is environmentalism.
I kn haz paycheck?
I once saw Jonah Goldberg shove an entire HostessTwinkie™ in his mouth all at once!……(I would say he ‘deep throated’ it, but that would be reeeally crass!)
Remember that scene in Animal House when John Belushi, imitating a ‘zit’, fill his mouth full of jello and then squeezes his cheeks and spews it out? That’s what I think of every time I see Jonah Goldberg!
It was cottage cheese, not jello.
In his trainwreck Jonah also tells us that reason people oppose making Yucca Mtn into a radioactive waste site is because they oppose the use of nuclear power. Apparently he’s never noticed how beautiful the desert is, & he never will if it becomes a giant glowing biohazard.
It’s pretty damned easy to see it has neither Latin nor Arabic roots. Fucking moron.
How is it so easy to see its roots aren’t Arabic? Although someone like Jonah (and certainly his readership) wouldn’t understand how/why Spanish words would have Arabic roots, to those of us smart enough to know such things, we’re used to wadi al-hara (or whatever it was) turning into guadalajara, so maybe there is some Arabic word wanta an-namo? For those of us who don’t know Arabic, it sounds plausable …
Sorry Jennifer!….(sniff)
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DaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa, I’m a song from the sixties.
Totally OT, but is CNN actually trying to become The Onion?
Hard times for satire.
Both yuca and Guantánamo are of Taíno origin. They are terms the Spanish picked up from the native inhabitants of Hispaniola and Cuba at the end of the 15th century. In light of their centuries-long use by Spanish speakers, it would be a little too much to say that in current usage they are not Spanish words.
And to turn the pedant pot up to its proper setting, let me add that yucca plants are not yuca (cassava), even though their name is derived from the tuber’s.
Not to pile on, but another important stark contrast between the two is that Tor Johnson never starred in a movie with “Guantanamo” in the title.
Actually Jennifer, it was ‘mashed potatoes’ so we were both wrong.
Jennifer and tontocal: I believe it was in fact mashed potatoes.
J, at least with respect to Guantanamo, isn’t that a little like calling “San Francisco” an English-language place name?
tontocal – are you sure about that? I could’ve sworn it was cottage cheese.
MASHED POTA— aw shit, too slow.
Thank you for saving me the trouble of explaining that.
Comparing people who have been locked up without due process or any independant verification of humane treatment with nuclear waste. Wow. It’s a good thing the Bush Administration thinks that the Gitmo detainees are suspected terrorists or this column might be considered not serious jornamalism.
Also, It’s like a form of wingnut Tourette’s he has. On global emissions he says “Even if every American lived like a Prius-driving, vegan eco-feminist, we’d still fall far short”. Because somehow, feminism reduces carbon emissions.
It’s like the guy just picks things whose only commonality is that he don’t like ’em much, and then just lumps them together.
“Not to pile on, but another important stark contrast between the two is that Tor Johnson never starred in a movie with “Guantanamo” in the title.”
Yeah, but Coleman Francis made a movie sort of set in Cuba…. I’m just sayin’.
Tor want to make it with you!
Is it worth noting that the fuck-ups in Animal House were rebelling against Nixonian idiocy in the campus hierarchy?
Friends, I served with Bluto Blutarsky: I knew Bluto Blutarsky; Bluto Blutarsky was a friend of mine. Jonah Goldberg, you’re no Bluto Blutarsky.
How is it so easy to see its roots aren’t Arabic?
Oops. Well the first clue to any longer Spanish word is that in Guantanamo there’s a stress accent showing it has non-standard pronunciation. So that’s a tip off right away it’s unusual. Secondly, there’s not THAT many towns in Spain (not named after someone) so once you see it’s neither something like Extremadura or Toledo or a copy of a place name, nor is it actually FROM a Spanish word (like Amarillo) that’s pretty clear that it’s not Spanish, either the Latin name or the Iberian geographical names inherited from the Visigoths etc.
But Arabic? Well Arabic place names almost always have a word meaning “the” which is quite often “al”. So yeah Guadalajara certainly doesn’t SOUND Arabic but there’s a huge difference between “al” and the chunks in Gitmo, it’s Al-Anbar Province in Arabic for example not An-Anbar.
Even words like “alcalde” (mayor) in Spanish come from that Arabic core of meaning “the” something or other.
But really the all-time easiest way to figure this stuff out is just freaking GOOGLE 😉
You know what else those two places have in common? Coleman Francis! If Goldberg had known that, I might have some small shred of respect for him. O.K. maybe not.
“Time for go to bed!”
An immortal line in the history of cinema, to be sure.
Jennifer:
I scrolled the entire script!….(blood seeps from tontocal’s ears).
Ah, Gundamhead? I sort of beat you to that one.
Yeah, but Coleman Francis made a movie sort of set in Cuba…. I’m just sayin’.
Red Zone Cuba. Arguably the worst movie ever made. Manos, The Hands of Fate holds that title in my pantheon, but in fairness, Manos was made on a bet. Red Zone Cuba was supposed to be a professional movie.
Because somehow, feminism reduces carbon emissions.
He probably briefly dated a liberal woman who made him hold his farts and has resented all women ever since.
They’re ignoring me again!!!…..(cue the soft ‘pitter-patter’ of tears rolling down her cheeks on to the keyboard)
Shit Zeppo beat me to it.
Doh! And double doh! I really pulled a Goldberg there. Must read before posting!
Sorry all…..I was just reading through some of the ‘Althouse classics’ in the archives last night…..it’s what originally brought me to SadlyNo!…….and you’ve all been rushing my endorphins ever since!!
Man, don’t go all postal on yourself! “Pulling a Goldberg” really needs to be saved up for those really serious, crash and burn types of screwups, ones so epic that even your mother rolls her eyes.
This wasn’t quite in that caliber.
Y’all are too smart for your own good.
Do you think Jonah’s mom is proud of her son? Or does even she roll her eyes when he is mentioned?
Fun fact: People who knew Tor Johnson personally described him as very charming, knowledgeable, and witty. He only played an illiterate moron in the movies. I’d follow up with a slam at Dr. Loadpants here, but it seems a little unnecessary.
Guantánamo is an aborigine name that means “land beween rivers”.
So Guantánamo = Mesopotamia? It all makes sense now.
[…] No! catalogues the latest adventure in stupid for the Doughy Pantload You can make a comment below or link a trackback from your own site. RSS […]
The fact is, for some reason, Jonah Goldberg reminds me of a cruise ship.
Well, it was probably pretty difficult to get movie roles when you have the body with the basic shape of a kesaba melon and spoke your lines sort of like a bullfrog with a Hungarian accent.
Typecasting is very unfair. Him and Richard Kiel….
Not to pile on, but another important stark contrast between the two is that Tor Johnson never starred in a movie with “Guantanamo” in the title.
The fact is, remember, Dan Riehl looks like Tor Johnson.
J, at least with respect to Guantanamo, isn’t that a little like calling “San Francisco” an English-language place name?
San Francisco is an English-language proper noun, one that derives directly from the Spanish-language proper noun for the same place (allowing for the chopping off of the “de Asís” from the original mission name). The same applies to Guantánamo—a Spanish-language proper noun (nouns, actually, since there’s a bay, a province, and a city) directly derived from the indigenous proper noun for the inhabitants of the area (and probably their chief, too) at the time Columbus arrived and named the bay Puerto Grande.
I’m really starting to resent this site. Each morning, I roll off my mattress, pull up my underwears, hook my labtop up to my ‘series of tubes’ and commence my working day. And yet, with work continuing to pile up, neglected, I can’t seem to tear myself away.
Who knew?
So Al-Anon is Arabic?
I will never forgive Lucianne Goldberg for spawning……NEVER!!
Ok, so now the trackbacks all pile up against the south wall like empty beer cans and dirty undershorts?
Cool…
mikey
LOL Susan
Tor Johnson, being Swedish, had a Swedish accent. And his acting career was merely a sideline; he was primarily known as a professional wrestler.
Never argue with a man wearing angora.
Al-anon?
Sounds shifty, like that Al Smith, who tried to get to the Presidency on the backs of guineas and the filthy Irish…
You know about those Swedes, stupid blockheads.
The fact is, niiiiiight traaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin to Mundo Fiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeeeeeeee, niiiiiiight traaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin to the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend!
They may not be Spanish names, but they have a certain spanishiness. Uh, Hispanicism? Latinity? Never mind.
The Fact is, nothing bothers some people…not even flying saucers.
Flag on the moon…how did it get there?
Drainpipe…dug up some dirt…
Susan of Texas said,
May 13, 2008 at 23:18
So Al-Anon is Arabic?
So getting drunk is a way of fighting teh Islamofascists? Given what an ardent
warriordoughy pantload Jonah is , that would explain hisbrilliant commentaryboatload of stupid .This from conservative blogger Dennis The Peasant :
… that has left me with enough knowledge to know pseudo-intellectual flapdoodle when I read it. Anyway, despite my misgivings, I decided to read Liberal Fascism… Not because I wanted to….
http://dennisthepeasant.typepad.com/dennis_the_peasant/2008/04/a-book-review-l.html
Whatever you’re not doin’, go and not do it somewhere else.
I read it – & that’s 5 minutes I’ll never get back.
They just had to drop the charges against their “20th Hijacker” (seems to me he’s like the 2nd or 3rd “20th Hijacker” – oh, that wacky Bush math) in part due to an appeal based on that torture-thing they’re so fond of, so I guess Sir Doughpants is doing his noble best for The Cause.
If not for the all the kudos he gets from fellow wingnuts, you’d almost think he was a far-left mole – he’s really THAT overtly stupid.
Random Sample –
“Nonetheless, Gitmo will soon be closed. President Bush wants it closed, as do all of his likely successors. And that’s probably for the best, given the stink it puts on America in the world, deservedly so or not. But here’s the thing: If you want to fight a war on terrorism, or any war, you need to put captured combatants someplace — someplace other than a conventional U.S. prison, where they’re treated like any other criminal.”
Haven’t Bush & Co. been saying they’re almost ready to shut it down since, oh, 2005 or so? Yet it mysteriously keeps going like a Duracell-Bunny of evil. Yeah, hands up, kids – who really thinks “known terrorists” would be treated just like any car-thief or pot-dealer once they’re put in any US prison? Jonah, Gary, Truthbot … anyone else?
Technically, Guantanamo doesn’t put “a stink on America” in the snoots of the ENTIRE world – why, Albania is probably jealous, ditto Kazakhstan – & China probably wants to sue America for stealing their “Re-Education Camp” idea.
Jonah, why do you hate America too much to see how wonderful you’ve become in the eyes of these pro-American “democracies-in-waiting”?
Albania? Kazakhstan?
You made those up.
We should have a Sadly, No bad-movie party!
I’ll bring “Don’t Look in the Basement.”
Bela, How many Tor?
Definitely, “Night of the Blood Llama”.
But Arabic? Well Arabic place names almost always have a word meaning “the” which is quite often “al”. So yeah Guadalajara certainly doesn’t SOUND Arabic but there’s a huge difference between “al” and the chunks in Gitmo, it’s Al-Anbar Province in Arabic for example not An-Anbar. – Soj
In many Arabic dialects (though not, IIRC, standard Arabic, and possibly not the Arabic spoke in Spain), al gets changed to harmonize with the consonant of the following word. So it is Al-Anbar, but it would be An-Najaf rather than Al-Najaf in some Arabic dialects (I forget which ones). If such dialects existed in Spain and Namo was some Arabic word, it would be Wadi An-Namo rather than Wadi Al-Namo.
But here’s the thing: If you want to fight a war on terrorism, or any war, you need to put captured combatants someplace
Like a prisoner-of-war camp? Yes, they could have done that. Instead they decided to open a Black Hole for innocent people rounded up at random.
Arabs?
Like in the old Aladdin movies?
Are they all pirates? Or skeleton pirates? Because we should just send one of our shiny new dreadnoughts over there and take care of those pirates, lickety-split!
What do Yucca Mountain and Guantanamo Bay have in common?
Well, there’s the obvious stuff. Both have Spanish names.
Another little fun fact: Much like the “aboriginal” names Yucca and Guantanamo, “Mountain” and “Bay” are also not Spanish.
Don’t we still own Cuba?
I went gambling in Havana once, back in ’47. Got to watch the Brooklyn Dodgers play the local team during their spring training. That Bautista, he’s just what those Cubans need, a strong hand to keep ’em in line and keep the rum flowing.
They say a little knowledge cn be dangerous.
Jonah Goldberg: Not even dangerous.
.
Do you think the Pantload gets his best ideas from his readers suggestions? Because I have a couple of really good ideas for him.
. . . like if you jumble up the letters from George W Bush, they say “Christ is Returned!” Complete with exclamation point. Really.
tontocal said,
May 13, 2008 at 23:21 (kill)
LOL Susan
LOL, tantacol!!
Are you trying to tell me that them injuns ain’t Mexican? Then how come they uz in that Mel Gibson movie?
You know that sinking feeling you get when someone makes an argument you have a lot to nitpick about but you basically think is coming from the right place, and then they start ranting and raving about the Zionist-occupied NAFTA superhighway? Yeah: this is what it’s like supporting nuclear power from the left.
As for Yucca Mountain, my line is mostly in response to the popular bumper stickers on it – ‘NEVADA IS NOT A WASTELAND’ – I mean, it kind of is, isn’t it? We’re a pretty horrible state from the word go, and we’ve already got vast swaths of the natural ecosystem so permanently warped by human activity that no real effort could be made to preserve them for living things.
Yucca Mountain is the best site they have for a nuclear depository, which is a necessary component of a national nuclear power network, which is an excellent way to reduce oil dependency in a hurry. I’d much prefer there be a single Yucca Mountain regulated by a single power agency (who will become Brown-style celebrities if they fuck up) than a bunch of little ones scattered around the country. We’re already dumping nuclear waste (plants or no plants – high-end medical waste has to go somewhere too); YM gives us the chance to do it in one place as as safely as we can manage and with as little possible damage to a viable ecosystem. And as for Nevada, it gives us the chance to be part of the process in a way we’re unlikely to get any other way.
The DFHs are righter than Goldberg are on this one, though, because they’re wrong about YM for the right reasons (the study was managed poorly, the process was basically an industrial giveaway from start to finish, and the antagonistic attitude the project has taken towards the united displeasure of the Nevadan electorate) and he only cares about it to tweak their noses. I’d rather there not be a nuclear repository at all than there be one for the reasons Goldberg wants it – or, for that matter, under the methodology Goldberg wants it. (Remember, kids: safety regulations are statist oppression.)
Nuclear power is my one big contrarian issue, and it kind of pisses me off that it’s been hijacked by right-wing anti-environment nutjobs. I just want to see it replace coal and gas plants as the fallback fuel source of the country; it’s non-renewable, but leaves a far lighter footprint on the land than any other kind of nonrenewable power. I wish the voting public feared the building and expansion of coal generators the way it does nuclear power is all, and fucking Goldberg has to make it about a pissing contest with the left. There’s some essential quality of overt fraud to the man; the kind of shit he cooks up, far from the traditional ‘is he evil or just stupid?’, is an innovative mixture of both. He knows he’s lying, but he’s not entirely sure why and he probably couldn’t tell the same lie twice if pressed to. I think if you asked him who gave birth to him he’d tell you first the name of his father and then Barry Goldwater.
Albion is not arabislamic. At best, maybe Islaymic. At best.
Speaking of Islay, lets have an update wrt Drinking Sadlyly-PDX.
aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!
WHY WE NUKES AND GITMO
Jonah Goldberg, a man who can make you laugh and cry at the same time. And not in a good way.
And they printed that. Wowzee. I’m beginning to think Jonah’s mom mated with nuclear waste to make him.
Don’t worry, alec, I feel your pain.
Sometimes I feel quite contrary around here (but don’t call me Mary.)
I feel the same about nuclear power as I do about 9/11. Ambivalent.
John Carradine Ruppert is the best version yet.
Yes, Let’s.
Yo, Den Mother!
What’s up with Teh PDXly?
The fact is, Toblerone, we’ll call you Mary or anything else we want.
Get used to debating the various Arabic pronounciations, liberals.
I for one would like a Muppet re-make of Plan 9, with the Swedish Chef playing Tor Johnson’s role. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, Look!
Something crawled in under the door.
Come here ya little critter. I wanna play!
And a new troll emerges, one who’s capable of going from zero to stupid in one sentence. Impressive.
Look behind you, Kathy, there’s a Muslim!
Woops, he must have run away.
Ohmygod there’s another, right behind you!
Oh, no, that was just a El Salvadorean.
They’re everywhere!!11!!11
And its Canadian!
Quaint.
She’s got pictures!
With Mark Stain in Toronto!
Shoot first, ask Christian Slater.
Re: Trolletta McNewWave: “Live simply, so I can have all your stuff”. That’s Conservatism in a nutshell.
Hey, apparently she’s congenitally deformed.
Has five furry feet.
Maybe we should just smile at her and then whisper about the way she walks when she goes over to refill her punch glass….
mikey
She seems to be the best kind of Troll.
The drive-by kind who stops by, says something stupid, then leaves.
All that is left is the lingering stench that begs the question, “Who farted?”
“Five feet of furry?” Didn’t know you Canuckistanners were into that weird shit.
Get used to debating the various Arabic pronounciations, liberals.
Oh, like you wouldn’t find the first opportunity you possibly could to collaborate with the (beyond impossibly hypothetical, I have to remind you) Islamist occupiers.
Sure. You’re gonna stay true and loyal to your principles forever – just like against horrible, evil Maoism, right?
What’s that? Five whole dinar!? Oh boy! And I don’t even have to suck on anything this time!
In all seriousness, that might be a little low – after all, prostitutes don’t generally get self-righteous about joylessly quaffing cock at bargain-basement prices.
It’s not even the willful ignorance redolent in Doughy’s writing such a statement as “What do Yucca Mountain and Guantanamo Bay have in common? Well, there’s the obvious stuff. Both have Spanish names.” No, it’s just simply Pantload’s prose: his fatuous conflation of a nuclear-waste repository and a notorious US prisoner-of-war camp; his passive-aggressive use of the word “obvious”; his ridiculously jejune use of the word “stuff.” The fact is, I just hate his dumb ass.
Damn you WordPress! You task me!!!!
So let’s try it in pieces.
Your blog is “Five feet of furry?” Didn’t know you Canuckistanners were into that weird shit.
(Probably NSFW)
Well, the best part of it is the unspoken but absolutely omnipresent contempt for human sympathy. He thinks of Guantanamo in the same way he thinks of Subway; living in a world that doesn’t manufacture sandwiches like cheap cars or torture the shit out of random Arabs for Stalinesque confessions-to-everything is unthinkable for him and people like him.
We might think of Subway and Guantanamo as two sides of the same coin in our dourer moments. He would think of this as axiomatic – and positive. Then he’d probably launch into (and somehow fuck up) a Dane Cook routine.
Also, to go on the official record for myself and my colleague Djur: Jonah Goldberg is the Clarence Thomas of fat white men (an august post previously occupied by Lou Dobbs and Clarence Thomas); if only we could lynch him electronically.
Jonah Goldberg is the Clarence Thomas […] if only we could lynch him electronically.
Um, er and so forth, but disregarding the unpleasantness it would be awesome if Clarence Thomas was the chatterbox that Jonah Goldberg is.
We might think of Subway and Guantanamo as two sides of the same coin
When I am elected World Dictator, I will use this idea for the new global currency.
I grant you that flipping a coin and saying “Subway or Guantanamo?” will be more awkward than saying “Heads or Tails?”. Perhaps it would be better if they become the two sides of the new global 10-Quatloo note.
“Albania?
Kazakhstan?
You made those up.”
Busted.
I also created Crop Circles, faked the Moon Landings, & put fluoride in your water … as part of my Communist plot to weaken & impurify all of your Precious Bodily Fluids.
I miss lynchings….
PDX UPDATE:
Gavin’s super happy bonus fun co-ed bachelor party – Tuesday, June 2, I think. Somewhere in Portland. No skeezy strippers (unless they’re SadlyNauts). Suggestions for location are welcome (and encouraged).
I’ve heard from a few of you (PeeJ, Toby, Auguste), anyone else?
Um, er and so forth, but disregarding the unpleasantness it would be awesome if Clarence Thomas was the chatterbox that Jonah Goldberg is.
He pretty much is, it’s just that he’s got the remedial intelligence necessary not to do it in a particularly public forum.
Also, the reference should have been to ‘high-tech lynching’ – that is, what the Republicans felt was going on because a wealthy, reactionary asshole was being accused of misconduct against a direct subordinate. Of course, as we all know, the appropriate response is to bury the subordinate so deep not even God can dig her up. What progress we’ve made!
Jonah Goldberg, noted scientist. Now a pantload. Prowling the Op-Eds. Load. Load, just to be loading.
Shock waves of the Clenis. A once proud humble man reduced to…Jonah Goldberg.
No skeezy strippers (unless they’re SadlyNauts).
I’ve never been called ‘skeezy’ before. Much.
“Subway or Guantanamo?”
Back when I lived in Manhattanislamofasciland, I would always choose the subway.
There’s no subway here in Columbus, so *sniff* I guess it’s off to Gitmo for me.
This Kathy Shaidle person/thing/…(animal/vegetable/mineral?) Canada’s answer to Michelle Mangalang! I hope she has a Google Alert set up! That would be so much fun!
“Get used to debating the various Arabic pronounciations, liberals.”
Because, as we all know, the islamofascists have several carrier battle groups stationed off our coast.
Will the bride be having a bachelorette’s party?
As far as the Subway/Guantanamo discussion goes? All principles aside, I’m a sucker for a good toasted sandwich, so I’d definitely have to go with Guantanamo.
Dude, all their 12″ subs are marked down to five dollars. Don’t diss Subway. Subway is our friend. I’d wear their lapel pin.
The bride will be at the bachelor’s party. Kind of ruining it, huh? Someone will have to stay sober and drive him back down into the valley though, y’know?
The fact is, Subway sucks.
Kathy Shaidle? We’ve seen her before. I believe Lesley is the resident expert, if I can give her that dubious honor.
Jennifer, I live and work in midtown Manhattan. You can’t get a homeless schizophrenic to spit at you for five dollars. Subway is god’s gift.
Depressing life experience #108, by proxy: going to a bachelorette party with a bunch of repressed Mormon hausfraue, half of whom are both younger than you and have one or more kids, whose best idea of naughty involves trolling sex toy shops and eyeing the vibrators like brazen whores.
The bride will be at the bachelor’s party. Kind of ruining it, huh? Someone will have to stay sober and drive him back down into the valley though, y’know?
This is the big advantage in marrying a liberal: hell-raising isn’t segregated by sex. Wooooo!
Dude, all their 12? subs are marked down to five dollars. Don’t diss Subway. Subway is our friend. I’d wear their lapel pin.
For $5 I could stick a loaf of bread and a block of mozzarella in my George Foreman grill and wind up with better than Subway is gonna serve me. Let’s be reasonable here; if you’re gonna try and talk me out of spacious, open-air accommodations and a free, only slightly urine-soaked Koran, you could at least offer me Quiznos.
I’m with you re: nuclear power, alec.
The fact is….
….all of you smell like shit.
That’s your upper lip, Gary. Try wiping your mouth after eating.
It was cottage cheese, not jello.
Huh. I always thought it was mashed potatoes.
Anyways, Senator Blutarski went on to have a great career.
And to turn the pedant pot up to its proper setting
“A pedant in every pot!” will be my slogan in the election for World Dictator.
That’s your upper lip, Gary. Try wiping your mouth after eating.
The fact is, that was a horrible thing to say, and unbecoming of a Godly woman in Texas.
Hey, I’m not the one doing it, you are.
And I’m an atheist, silly silly man.
And I’m an atheist, silly silly man.
The fact is, are you also a Succubus?
The fact is, I’m a Godly woman in Texas.
I miss Bruce.
LOL.
Don’t mess with me, Gary. I’ve got brains, a sense of humor, and a lifetime of anger stored up. I eat succubi for breakfast.
On second thought, that wording might be a little unfortunate.
Umm.
Couldn’t we make that “Pot for every pedant” Herr Clyde?
Please?
mikey
We might think of Subway and Guantanamo as two sides of the same coin
In fact I think of Subway and Guantanamo as the A and B sides of a 12″ single.
— What’s a “12-inch single”, Uncle Smut?
— I’m glad you asked me that…
[Retrieves “Hunters & Collectors” singles; plays “World of Stone” and “Watcher”, very loudly]
On second thought, that wording might be a little unfortunate.
The fact is, indeed. It was an oddly lesbianic thing to say.
WordPress is the demon spawn of Scalia and Schlafly. I’m posting comments too quickly, am I? I can’t post comments at ALL GODDAMNIT!!!!!
Fifth time’s the charm?
Now, in re: Drinking pdxly.
There’s the ever popular Kell’s Irish. On the down side, it’s a slightly glossy pub trying perhaps a tad too hard to be an Irish pub – it’s not terribly portlandesque, whatever that might be. On the up side, it’s only a block away from Voodoo Donut. And has very decent food.
I’m fond of the New Old Lompoc. Big plus (for me) is the five minute walk from home and the twenty minute stumble/crawl back. Their brews range from good to excellent. Food is good. It’s …
Wait a minit. Let’s back up and start with a few questions.
Do we prefer a pub type place, or more pure bar (possibly without food service)? Brewpub or no? (It seems to be illegal to have less than 6 or 7 local brews on tap at any pdx publick house). What aboiut preferred location – downtownish or…? (Another aside: The Tri-Met – bus, light-rail and streetcars – is free in the downtown area, “fareless square”)
I know nothing about the strip clubs except to say that pdx is reportedly chock full of them.
I should also mention that pdx has become a foodie heaven. The apricot cornbread with bacon and maple ice cream at Le Pigeon is exemplary.
A succubus in the pot for everyone’s breakfast!
This Kathy Shaidle person/thing/…(animal/vegetable/mineral?)
Ooooooh I love me some KS. Had some fun duking it out with her over at oldskool Tbogg’s place.
um wordpress is eating me alive again! phooey.
wordpress seems to be uptight about html. will try something new.
What’s all this about wordpress?
This Kathy Shaidle person/thing/…(animal/vegetable/mineral?)
Ooooooh I love me some KS. Had some fun duking it out with her over at oldskool Tbogg’s:
http://tbogg.blogspot.com/2007/10/so-we-beat-on-boats-against-current.html
http://tbogg.blogspot.com/2007/10/child-molester-mark-steyn-is-perfectly.html
won’t take comments that have html.
which is too bad because I’ve got some vintage Kathy Shaidle to share.
My theory that I have which is mine is that Kathy Shaidle has a thing for Mark Steyn and denigrates her own history of being on welfare and disability benefits to gain points with him.
I’m TRYING to post info about this little burg Portland. Trying, I said.
WordPress, you realize of course, this means war?
Not theeee Kathy Shaidle… She’s like this awesome Canadian wingnut who mostly hangs out on the Christian channel up here in Ontario. Like must Candian superwingnuts, she deeply, deeply resents that she lives in a communist country.
I don’t know, something about socialized medicine and inventing peacekeeping did something to some people up here (eg Steyn, Frum). I do wonder how crazy your right will get if the Dems win all three branches in November.
God, wordpress is cranky.
C’mon guys! The doughy one got beat up enough in junior high!
Everybody knows that if you understand the name of something you understand that thing totally.
Take torture for example. That’s bad. But enhanced interrogation techniques are good. Right? Enhanced anything is good and enhancing your technique is doubleplusgood!
WordPress sucks fly eggs by the light of a red-tinted moon, which supports my point* that to understand something all you have to do is understand it’s name.
WordPress presses words. Or is that oppresses words, hmmmm?
* I am assuming that my previous post ‘supporting’ Jonah will show up at some point…
Damn you WordOppress!
My brilliant lost post was along the lines of the doughy one was just a living illustration that to understand something, all you have to do was understand its name.
For example, torture is bad. But enhanced interrogation techniques are good. Enhancing your technique is always good because its an enhancement. You see?
I can’t remember the rest. Oh well.
Suppress.
Well….I hope Kathy shows up again…..she seems like fun!
Kathy Shaidle.
She got in. She got out.
Bruce would be proud.
Yay, Sadly Bachelor Portland! I’m there.
I think djur volunteered a couch, unless there happens to be a cute, intelligent Sadlynaught lady that needs some company that night…
I keed! I keed!
I’m in on train fare for mikey. Anyone else in?
We got a confirmed sked for PDX, all eleven freakin thousand feet of asphalt of it?
Confirm 6/2, over?
mikey out
The. Fuck…. WordPress claims I am ‘posting too quickly’, and yet the trolls yammer like little dogs on crank!
WordPress is where Darth Cheney hid the records of his energy committe meetings, the transcriptions of Karl Rove’s phonecalls, and the video Cheney used to persuade Dubya’s handlers he deserved the Veep slot.
wordpressconspiracy.org
the truth is out there.
and kathy shaidle was in here? i’ll have to check this out.
Further refutation of Jonah’s crap when you click on my name. Assuming it hasn’t all been done here, & that anyone still gives a flying fug at a rolling doughnut.
P. S.: “Slow down,” my ass!! This is the only comment I’ve made in a wk.!!
I’m serious, mikey. I’ll chip in on train fare.
Meeting Gavin, Marita, and mikey all at once?
Priceless.
And M.Bouffant?
Gold.
From “An Eytomological Dictionary of Modern English,”
“Yucca from native language of Hayti. One of the earliest native American words on record.”
Jonah Goldberg, what an f-tard.
WordPress tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it! I’ll chase it round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition’s flame before I give it up!
Ahem. As I was TRYING to say, should I pick out places near downtown or in some other particular neighborhood? I live in NW just minutes from the New Old Lompoc which brews some fine stuff and teh food’s not bad either.
There’s Kell’s, which is a slightly glossy Irish Pub. Nothing markedly pdxish about it, just a good pub with good food and a cigar bar. (I think I still have some Cuban cigars here somewhere…) It’s also mere steps from Voodoo Donut.
Then too, Portland is the new foodie heaven. The apricot cornbread with bacon and maple syrup ice cream at Le Pigeon is exemplary.
There’s lots of more funky places as well. Merely tell me where thy inclinations lie.
Also, I dunno about the Californi run but I do know that PDX-Seattle by Amtrak is only about $25. And the drive is soooo boring.
WordPress tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it! I’ll chase it round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition’s flame before I give it up!
Subway or Guantanamo?
Even easier than cake or death.
Sorry, I’m NotJenna. Actually, I’m not, but I’m also not Jenna.
dammit, mikey, I don’t think I can arrange a good bike by then….
[…] Jonah Goldberg is stupid! From Sadly, No!: You really have to hand it to the Doughy Pantload. If nothing else, he’s efficient: What do […]
Dunno if it’s too late for peeps to care (or if it was already posted), but I thought that the reason that the Arabic article ‘al’ changed form had to do with whether the first letter in the article’s noun is a sun or a moon letter. Nouns beginning with sun letters change the ‘l’ in ‘al’ to the letter (like Sharm Ash-Sheikh), while nouns beginning with moon letters keep the ‘al’. However, adherence to this might vary among the various Arabic dialects, I’m not sure.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunar_letters
I see Jonah’s discovered the Kids’ Page over at the Office of Civilian Radioactive Waste Management cite. Click here here for a picture of Yucca Mountain Johnny (kid you not). For some reason there doesn’t seem to be a Kids’ Page for Gitmo.
Okay. A little problem with the links. Let’s see if Yucca Mountain Johnny pops up here.
According to Jonah, there is no problem if we wait long enough:
“..its biggest shortcoming is that its designers can’t promise that in 10,000 years a passerby who digs it up won’t be exposed to much more than a few chest X-rays’ worth of radiation.”
Of course some peoples idea of a year is longer than others…
http://www.nrc.gov/reading-rm/doc-collections/fact-sheets/radwaste.html
“..the only way radioactive wastes finally become harmless is through decay, which for some isotopes contained in high-level wastes can take hundreds of thousands of years”
Still great news! Assuming a typical chest x-ray is about 5 millirems. But, according, again, to the same site:
“..ten years after removal from a reactor, the surface dose rate for a typical spent fuel assembly exceeds 10,000 rem/hour.”
So that would be about 2 million chest x-rays. If you use the 7:10 radioactive decay rule, that means in 24 thousand years you would still be getting 1000 millirems per hour, or about 200 chest x-rays. Per hour.
What doctor is he going to?
Remember that scene in Animal House when John Belushi, imitating a ‘zit’, fill his mouth full of [mashed potatoes] and then squeezes his cheeks and spews it out? That’s what I think of every time I see Jonah Goldberg!
And he is equally smart, too.
“Over? WE decide when it’s over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? NO!”
Although it was never revealed, was he Sen. Blutarsky R or D?