The Ole Perfesser moves beyond my abilities to satirize him
This is the sort of thing that I’ve always dreamed the Ole Perfesser would write. But now that he’s actually written it, I’m at a loss for words. It has become completely impossible to parody this dweeb more than he already parodies himself:
IN THE MAIL: David Levy’s Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships, No doubt this will set off a storm among the narrow-minded robophobes out there. Stand up to the haters!
Glenn, we’re not “haters” – we’re “laughers.” As in, we think your obsession with downloading your brain into a robot body just so you can boink hot cyborg babes is utterly ridiculous. And thus, we’re laughing at you.
UPDATE: Oh lordy, it’s even worse than I’d imagined:
“Love with robots will be as normal as love with other humans,” Levy writes, “while the number of sexual acts and lovemaking positions commonly practiced between humans will be extended, as robots teach us more than is in all of the world’s published sex manuals combined.”
Levy goes on to imagine a world of robot prostitutes, or “sexbots,” which would offer people a chance to practice their technique before entering a human relationship. “With a robot prostitute,” he writes, “the control of disease is implicit — simply remove the active parts and put them in the disinfecting machine.”
That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. No wonder Glenn’s so eager to get it on with these cyberbabes.
And this guy’s wife goes around lecturing people about a supposed masculinity crisis in America…
“I don’t want anyone thinking we’re Robosexuals, so if anyone asks, you’re my debugger.”
Oh come on, everyone knows that robots are total slut kittens. Raise your hand if you have not fantasized about having sex with a robot.
[scans sea of hands]
Yeah, well you can all GO TO HELL!!!
The late Frank Zappa tried to warn us about this sort of thing.
Wikipedia
Joe turns to religion for help, and “pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover at the First Church of Appliantology.” Hoover identifies Joe as a “latent appliance fetishist”. When Joe asks if he should “come out of the closet” he is instead instructed to “go into the closet” to achieve “sexual gratification through the use of machines”. In the next song, we learn “The Closet” is the name of a club where humans can copulate with appliances. Joe locates a machine he likes, named Sy Borg, and they return to Sy’s apartment. There Joe and Sy have a “groovy orgy” with Sy’s roommate, a “modified Gay-Bob doll.”
Joe ends up destroying Sy, (whom the Central Scrutinizer calls a “XQJ-37 Nuclear-Powered Pansexual Roto-Plooker”) with a golden shower. Joe is thrown in prison after being unable to pay for the damage (having given up all his money to the Church of Appliantology). In jail, Joe is repeatedly gang raped (“plooked”) by former musicians and record executives when they’re not snorting lines of detergent pretending it’s cocaine. This gang is led by a shockingly endowed former promotional agent of a major record company, known as “Bald-Headed John: King of the Plookers” (whose character is based on Zappa’s chief of security, John Smothers).
InstaDoofus linking to Bloody Bill Kristol today on TehBitterGate!!!!!1 damn near collapsed the universe. If I were to think of two individuals who care about Middle America the least, a neocon prince like Kristol and a pathetic warmongering nerd like Reynolds would be waaay up there.
His Grace- Exactly. Loved those pics of himself Teh Ole Perdorkus recently put up on InstaDoofus. Looked like Capote could dunk on him. This was a few days after he talked about sampling non-alcoholic beer.
But yes, Dr. Mrs. Putz, we’re losing our masculinity because we don’t go around packing heat. Rrrrrrright.
“With a robot prostitute,” he writes, “the control of disease is implicit — simply remove the active parts and put them in the disinfecting machine.”
Evidently Levy was disappointed and traumatised when he encountered the outmoded legal barriers that stopped him doing that with human prostitutes.
We all know where this will lead…
http://www.shillpages.com/dw/story/d8/st–9b34.jpg
What should we use for lube?
Oh, and from now on, he’s Glenn “I want to have sex with robot women” Reynolds to me. End of story. That’s his name from now on.
I believe it was Scott Adams* who said that sex and money are the two sources of motivation in the human male; therefore, when virtual reality becomes cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
I was kind hoping for the gay bomb, but whatever gets the job done.
.
.
.
*Quoting Scott Adams does not make me a nerd.
OT – I’m Number One!!11!
Not that I’m proud of it…
What should we use for lube?
WD-40?
Also, as I noted.
“while the number of sexual acts and lovemaking positions commonly practiced between humans will be extended, as robots teach us more than is in all of the world’s published sex manuals combined.”
These robots will be programmed by the same sexually-frustrated technofetishist computer dweebs that are hoping the robots will ‘teach’ them. So where would these new sexual positions come from?
The Cylon God?
At least I acknowledge my belief in computer gremlins and placating their spirits is because I’m bad at understanding technology. These are the sorts of assholes who think they’re on the cutting-edge of technological understanding.
when virtual reality becomes cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
That’s terrible.
“Not tonight, dear. I have a short circuit.”
Republicans and robots? This will do nothing to cut down on date rape.
.
The thing is, robots are so 20th Century. Get with it, Glennbot Korps.
In the future, Takeshi Kovacs will kick your ass.
That is, if your chi isn’t stolen and installed in an orangutan.
Oh god. Now I need to watch “I Dated A Robot” all over again.
Damn you, Futurama, for being so prescient!
Oh great. As if I didn’t have enough to be concerned about here in the heartland, now I’ve got to worry about Islamosexual robots hunting me down for my essence?
On the other hand, I have developed a curiously pleasurable sensation when I sit on the washing machine in my basement fortress, cleaning my fully erect M1 Battle Rifle™…when that machine is in spin cycle, my special region feels all funny and such.
The USA of America is #1!!!!
So when will we find out that Mrs. Ole Perfesser is a robot?
And for real Glenn- how do you explain to your real live wifey that you’d really rather be doing it with a machhine?
I guess this explains why Dr. Mrs. Ole Prefesser spends time alone down in their basement.
I’m pretty sure Glenn’s the one acting as marital aide in that situation, HM.
Sexbots are only a small step from Warbots. I’m sure he’s salivating over the two: woman-free sex and soldier-free wars (no pesky vets to deal with). Yes, the future is a veritable bacchanal for war and sex for ol’ Glen.
I just took a ride
on a silver machine
and I’m still feeling mean
I got a silver machine
Do you want to ride
see yourself going by
other side of the sky
Well I got a silver machine
It flies sideways through time
It’s an electric line
To your Zodiac sign
It flies out of a dream
It’s anti-septically clean
You’re gonna know where I’ve been
on my silver machine
Sexbots are only a small step from Warbots.
I’ll bet Warbots come first.
at least this will definitively resolve who has to sleep on the wet spot.
I’ll bet Warbots come first.
They can be adjusted.
Say what you will – that book has a funny, funny cover.
What should we use for lube?
Marvel Mystery Oil, of course.
Look I don’t know if I can speak for everyone here, but I for one would be more than a little creeped out if I found out my significant other practised with a machine before me.
From Amazon:
“Buy this book with Beyond Human: Living with Robots and Cyborgs by Gregory Benford today! Buy Together Today: $32.94”
“Some readers may be turned off by Levy’s fairly graphic descriptions of the mechanics of having sex with robots”
No doubt this will set off a storm among the narrow-minded robophobes out there. Stand up to the haters!
Be fair. Do not rule out the possibility that Reynolds is joking.
Levy could be serious, or maybe he just knows the needs of his readership.
So lemmie get this straight; making it with another human of the same sex= bad and evil and cursedbygod. Making it with a Commodore 64 with a disposable vigina= TEH SEXXXAY!!1!
Sexbots are only a small step from Warbots.
I’ll bet Warbots come first.
And then they roll over and fall alseep.
“With a robot prostitute,” he writes, “the control of disease is implicit — simply remove the active parts and put them in the disinfecting machine.”
The fact is, that is HOT!
Republicans and robots? This will do nothing to cut down on date rape.
Or underage butt seks.
“Some readers may be turned off by Levy’s fairly graphic descriptions of the mechanics of having sex with robots”
Leave R2D2 alone, you monster!
Levy could be serious, or maybe he just knows the needs of his readership.
I saw him on Colbert pimping this book. He certainly looks serious about it.
I only ask that someone tell my side of the story.
“Plooking”?
I’ve sung it as “You’re plooving me too hard! ..” Same song with the line “don’t get no jism on the sofa…sofaaah.” I think.
[okay, gimme a minit while I find my Joe’s Garage CDs and get the actual lyrics]
So lemmie get this straight; making it with another human of the same sex= bad and evil and cursedbygod. Making it with a Commodore 64 with a disposable vigina= TEH SEXXXAY!!1!
GD, you make an interesting point. If God says sex is only good for procreation and teh gay is evul because you can’t be amking no babies, does that make robosex as evul or moar evul than the gay?
Ok, enough with the locatsspeak. I’ll stop now.
Why can’t I stop thinking of the robot fucking the washing machine from Robot Chicken?
Don’t be a naughty baby
Come to papa, come to papa do
My sweet replaceable you
It’s going to be really hard to get the furry animal costumes on the robots without ripping or tearing.
What?
What should we use for lube?
Depends on the season, but be sure to change it every 6 months or 3000 fucks, whichever comes first.
And then they roll over and fall alseep.
WIN.
So lemmie get this straight; making it with another human of the same sex= bad and evil and cursedbygod. Making it with a Commodore 64 with a disposable vigina= TEH SEXXXAY!!1!
GD, you make an interesting point. If God says sex is only good for procreation and teh gay is evul because you can’t be amking no babies, does that make robosex as evul or moar evul than the gay?
Wow, Republican hypocrisy? Unpossible!
So, are “friends” electric?
This one’s defective. Its “vagina” is way too large.
Cosmetic baby plugged into me
And never ever find another
And I realize no one’s wise
To my plastic fantastic lover
I’m just gonna go with Robot sex sounds kinda gay and leave it at that,
Bubblegum Crisis, eps. 5 & 6
based, of course, on Bladerunner…
And for real Glenn- how do you explain to your real live wifey that you’d really rather be doing it with a machhine?
Could be that Glenn’s wife is whispering these ideas into his ear as he sleeps at night?
“With a robot prostitute,” he writes, “the control of disease is implicit — simply remove the active parts and put them in the disinfecting machine.”
So what do you suppose might happen if the robot decides you’re not measuring up to expectations?
The faux Gary is absolutely right. Dipping genitalia in 10% bleach is an intense turn-on.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who know robots and those who don’t.
I am thinking that David Levy might owe a few dollars of copyright payments to the scriptwriter for Cherry 2000.
FUCKING WORD PRESS! How ’bout them apples, Interboobs?!
See, this is what happens when you start making fun of robot whores, their computer allies obliterate your words!
This though, is teh awesome:
“Love with robots will be as normal as love with other humans,” Levy writes
Much like love with your gay black trannie neighbor, robo-humano love involves your organic hoo-hah stuck into warm parts of your ‘partners’ metallic body.
And another thing- one sure way to get Glenn and Co. off the Robocop-A-Feel bandwagon; show them the gleaming BradPittanator with the large attachments that their wives and daughters will be ordering.
There will be screams in Wingnutta for anti-sexbot legislation so fast it will make your head spin.
Futurama, check. Zappa, check.
Clearly I’m not needed here.
Take that you winner of the Glenn Reynolds Contest.
It’s my picture that gets a rerun.
HA HA
If gleaming BradPittanators are outlawed, only outlaws will have gleaming BradPittanators. With large attachments.
Humm, maybe Hindrocket really IS a hindrocket? maybe that’s the Ol’ Perfessor’s inspiration…
Donald Fagan said it best:
Me am programmer. I would never put LittleMan anywhere near anything I or anybody I know coded.
(I just had an entire rant about “positions” obliterated by Word Press. The bastards.)
Anyhoo: I like how to Levy, and to the Perfesser, one “benefit” of this idiotic scenario will be an increase in the number of available “positions.” As though either of those lads has used up all the extant ones. Uh-huh.
This, as I said, is the ultimate nerdian fantasy: define sex as a matter of gear, equipment, “practice,” and technology. Anything to eliminate real women. Which is to say, anything to eliminate Mom.
At least Gibson’s sim-stim was a recording of real people doing it.
(Apologies if this gets posted twice.)
Transhumanists are funny. They deserve as much ridicule as hipsters who base their entire existence on “irony”.
Well, even with a robot, you’d have to ask: is she really going out with him?
OneMan said,
Me am programmer. I would never put LittleMan anywhere near anything I or anybody I know coded.
True. But re-programming a warbot into a sexdroid should be safer. You only have to change a few properties of the higher-order classes — what could go wrong?
Excuse me while I take the guns from my sexdroid’s cold, dead hands.
I love Cherry 2000. Good fun. And now I’m imagining Ye Ole Professor hiring a tracker to take him out to Zone 7. A libertarian’s dream excursion!
Me am programmer. I would never put LittleMan anywhere near anything I or anybody I know coded.
It’s feature, not a bug!
Two thoughts: first, has anyone alerted Glenn to the buttbots? His wait might already be over.
Also, what about when the robots attack?
Speaking of which, sorta, any of y’all notice that the infamous “Buttman” is being prosecuted for selling adult videos to, well, adults?
I mean, sheesh, it’s not like there’s anything more important the justice department could be doing, right?
mikey
Could my robot body be a, um, beautiful woman?
If so, I’m gonna be an Adrienne Barbeau-bot.
Take that you winner of the Glenn Reynolds Contest.
Well, yeah, but just wait until the next time Glenn writes a column about Ann Althouse and an Etch-a-Sketch in a Lost-in-Space context. I’ll show all of you.
Also: This
Adrienne Barbeau-bot
is totally fun to say out loud.
Sealab 2021 is good for some stuff, at least.
I mean, sheesh, it’s not like there’s anything more important the justice department could be doing, right?
Well, you know what John Ashcroft was working on when Cheney attacked us on 9/11? A big sting of prostitutes in New Orleans! Talk about terrorists…(well, them and goddamned WordPress).
A big sting of prostitutes in New Orleans!
Yeah, I’m sure he told them that’s what he was working on when they found him in an Orleans whorehouse with coke on his nostrils and handcuffed to the bed.
coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend….
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i’ll
never let him go and i’ll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy……
when they found him in an Orleans whorehouse with coke on his nostrils and handcuffed to the bed.
God DAMN it.
I shoulda gone to school and become a lawyer.
Fuckers…
mikey
Ewgh. Who had to mention warbots? And converting them? I just had the most horrible vision of Yul Brynner….
Some unsolicited advice for David Levy: if the arguments in your book (about controlling disease, new positions, and “practic[ing] technique before entering a human relationship”) sound like excerpts from the court record from the case of Wisconsin v. Ed Gein, you might have written the wrong book.
Which is roughly what MrWonderful said at 1:38.
Anything to eliminate real women. Which is to say, anything to eliminate Mom.
The fact is, liberals would only have sex with a robot if it was a gay faggot robot.
Gary:
Hey, we aren’t the ones sticking vibrators up our asses because we’re too in the closet to get an actual person to stimulate our prostates.
Your fave rave Republican representatives sure are though.
Umm, isn’t “gay faggot” a double negative?
mikey
Garbly Puppet: Of course only if it’s a gay faggot robot. We real men don’t get into “str8 acting” (hah! there’s a good one!), closeted ostensibly hetero robots, as do you silly-assed closet queens. No, it’s real gay faggots, whether robotic or otherwise, for us or it’s nothing.
Quit your god damn begging, slut.
Umm, isn’t “gay faggot” a double negative?
Not in the USA of America, it’s not!
The gay faggots ruin it for all the other faggots.
That’s why we can’t have nice thongs.
No thong is a good thong.
That’s why we can’t have nice thongs.
Speak for yourself, dammit.
I’ve got some really cool tho…
Umm, well, uh…
Never mind.
Move along. Nothing to see here….
mikey
The fact is, some Liberals would be willing to have sex with a non-gay robot if it gave them an abortion during. Gay abortion bots would be preferable, though.
Yeah, well have fun on the robot reservation, suckers. We’re not gonna honor those bogus treaties. Hesh, will see you, in hel …
“It’s my picture that gets a rerun.”
And justifiably so.
But now I’m confused. Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?
PS – Fucking WordPress thingamajig. I’ve taken to copying my comment before posting. What a hassle…
I went to Sadly, No! and told them I wanted to file a complaint about the fucking WordPress/Cookie comments bullshit.
They told me no problem, the complaint department was managed by Helen Waite.
And if I had a complaint, I should go to Helen Waite….
mikey
Hey Bradrocket!
(If you’re around tonight, that is)
You’re mancrush Big Poppy seems to be having a little trouble hitting big league pitching these days.
Unlike, say, Manny, who is the coolest, bestest baseball player in the world, and is without a doubt my personal baseball mancrush….
mikey
All this talk of homorobosex has put me in mind of this. Actually it has nothing to do with robots, but it’s damn funny.
Lo-lee-toid: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth.
Why do you leftists hate freedom and liberty?
Join or Die! You might be oppresed next.
The First Annual Megan McArdle jefferson Memorial Dance-a-Thon!
http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/04/citizen_action.php#comments
You might be oppressed next.
I’m pretty sure there’s a profound truth in this phrase.
And I’m pretty sure this is worth caring about.
The question is, with the press unwilling to challenge the criminals, and the congress trying desperately to make certain the criminals never face charges, at what point are we, the citizens who own this democracy, willing to place the criminals in irons and retake our freedom?
Oh. Sorry. American Idol is on.
I’ll come back later…
mikey
mikey said,
April 15, 2008 at 3:47
Hey Bradrocket!
You mean Mr. Bradley Roquette the Third, elitist?
Damnit, I got past the WordPress denial, and then got dumped right into the spamblocker. Curse you, S,N!
If the The Rule of First Adopters is right, we may one day see sex robots before we have robots that can do more important things, like surgery or bartending.
The photo just makes me want to say:
ROTWANG!!
Mock all you want, Brad, but I already have a savings fund building up so I can buy me one of these.
http://www.toysnjoys.com/puzzles/1000chobits03.jpg
But, seriously? This little fetish of his has officially crossed into Necrophilia level of creepiness. Sexbot prostitutes we can hire to practice techniques on? It’s called “communication with your partner” fucktard.
Incidentally, is Ole Prof against gay marriage at all, and if so, is his rational in any way a variation of “marriage is for babies!” bullcrap? How does that stand at odds with his fetish for hot cyborg luvin’?
“With a robot prostitute,” he writes, “the control of disease is implicit — simply remove the active parts and put them in the disinfecting machine.”
Evidently Levy was disappointed and traumatised when he encountered the outmoded legal barriers that stopped him doing that with *human* prostitutes…
Smut Clyde gets ALL Teh Win on this post!
Srsly. If your partner can pass the Turing test, it’s going to insist on all the boring “social interaction” stuff anyway; and if it can’t, it’s just a very expensive aid to masturbation. Of course we’re told that what “real men” want from a prostitute is just that — assisted masturbation — but if that’s the Ultimate Prize then why haven’t we seen more human societies where the availability of highly-trained prostitutes have made it unnecessary to form boring old-fashioned meat-based relationships?
(Please note that I am deliberately not specifying a gender for those prostitutes, since the Real Men historical records are cluttered with hard-to-quantify examples like the warnerd-approved Classical Greeks, who managed to normalize both ephebephilia and hetaerae, thus suggesting that even Real Men in their Golden Age were confused about the relative desirability of social and sexual intercourse…)
How does that stand at odds with his fetish for hot cyborg luvin’?
Well, cyborgs are at least part human, so…
You are causing me to split a gut.
it’s just a very expensive aid to masturbation
You make that sound like a bad thing.
Domo arigato, Mister Roboto. The cash is on the nightstand.
(Please note that I am deliberately not specifying a gender for those prostitutes,
I am impressed with your casual use of terms like ‘ephebephilia’ and
‘hetaerea.’ Really, I am, being an old lexicophiliac.
But god damn it, lets stop conflating the the terms ‘sex’ and ‘gender’, shall we?
Not togo all constructionist or anything but, sheesh! I get so pissed off that so many forms I fill out ask for my gender, but not my sex. My sex is what it is; my gender is none of your fucking business.
Now git offa my lawn!
Missing: Pet Peeve
Last seen wandering around the intertoobz. Answers to “pedantic jerkwad.” If you think you may have seen the Pet Peeve in question, say “dampening field” or pronounce “dissect” as ‘die-sect.’ If subject cringes, please call 555-dang.
I might fuck a robot. There’s nothing wrong with that, women fuck little robotic penis’s all the time.
I’m damn well not going to fall in love with a bucket of bolts, though. Thats just fucking wierd.
NOW we’re talkin’ REAL elitism!
These glorified dildos will cost about as much as a new car.
Cyborg, schmyborg … just get the guy a Fleshlight.
Or a honkin’ big slab of raw liver … so I’ve heard.
What’s new about robosex? Mrs Ole Perfesser’s been at it for years. Not to mention O’Reilly.
The future is now.
Sorry, that should be
The future is now.
women fuck little robotic penis’s all the time.
In some cases they refuse to do so. Not that I’m bitter.
In some cases they refuse to do so.
Perhaps you should turn down the klieg lights…
mikey
Already wrote the song about it.
Mr./Ms. PeeJ, old bean, I’m afraid you’ve got the Canute end of this particular linguistic stick; in the modren PC format, gender is the question of which public lavatory you habitually choose, and sex is what you choose to do with your gender (hopefully not in those public lavoratories even if you *are* a Republican)…
And despite SomeGuy’s photolink, the anime CHOBITS is actually a very sweet, rather old-fashioned series of meditations about the possibilities of human/machine personal interaction: Can a ‘normal’ human fall in love with one of a particular series of (theoretically) generic humanoids? Can a disappointed human cite an interactive sexual program as a third party in a divorce case? Can a computer, no matter how elaborate its memory programs, ever “replace” a human for that human’s grieving relatives? If a robot perceives itself to be ‘falling in love’ with a human, is it passing a very advanced sort of Turing test, or is it just hopeless misprogrammed and due to be rebooted? (Not surprisingly, since it was done by old-fashioned shojo-style artists, the overall conclusion of the series is that once ‘persocom’ robots are sophisticated enough to replace meatpeople, they will be as needy, demanding, and fascinatingly individual as us wetware units. But it’s one of the better grown-up anime for non-anime-watchers, in my opinion. Even allowing for the inevitable ‘panties’ episodes. No, really.)
In other news, Dr Helen is curious about the smell of burning pubic hair whenever she plugs in the toaster.
George F. Will wrote:
Obama may be the fulfillment of modern liberalism. Explaining why many working-class voters are “bitter,” he said they “cling” to guns, religion and “antipathy to people who aren’t like them” because of “frustrations.” His implication was that their primitivism, superstition and bigotry are balm for resentments they feel because of America’s grinding injustice.
———————-
Obama’s implication was that the plutocrat class successfully fans and exploits bigotry and gets these voters to vote against their own interests and for the people you serve, Mr. Will.
I find the concern you and your fellow pundits express for the feelings of the working class risible.
Just re-read a few of your recent “Let them eat cake” columns.
Moving on to this:
“What had been under FDR a celebration of America and the values of its working people has become a doctrine of condescension toward those people and the supposedly coarse and vulgar country that pleases them.”
Funny, I don’t see any enthusiasm for FDR or his policies from the right. Rather, I see a consistent effort to erase all of it.
Let’s talk about religion, Mr. Will. Were Jesus to come to the United States today, do you think he would be impressed with the Republican party?
FAUX Christian Values:
1) Capital punishment
2) Torture
3) Prisons full? Build more!
3) Bombing foreigners
4) And of course, tax cuts for the rich.
In short, Mr. Will:
Who
Would
Jesus
Waterboard?
~
On that note, g’night, folks!
I was under the impression that getting a freak-on about sex-toys was the role of the wingnuts, not us..
Be advised that RoboSluts are not toys, and should only be operated with the assistance of licensed professionals.
And be sure to put your active parts in the disinfecting machine after each use to prevent an infection of your freak-on.
Lmao, any woman who refuses to use a dildo is just plain strange. I don’t think I’ve ever been with one who didn’t own one, and I don’t think I’d want to. Repressed people aren’t worth the time.
Cyborg, schmyborg … just get the guy a Fleshlight.
Or a honkin’ big slab of raw liver … so I’ve heard.
A fleshlight, sure. (do they actually work? I mean, whats the comparison to the real thing?). A slab of liver… Now we’re getting into corpse fucking territory. Worse, bestiality corpse fucking. Even I have to draw the line somewhere.
Sometime in the twenty-third century, humanity went extinct—leaving only androids behind. Freya Nakamichi 47 is a femmebot, one of the last of her kind still functioning. With no humans left to pay for the pleasures she provides…
He’s going to spend the summer locked in the bathroom with Charles Stross’s new novel, Saturn’s Children..
We get grumpy when we get no recognition. You wouldn’t like us when we’re grumpy.
Now we’re getting into corpse fucking territory. Worse, bestiality corpse fucking. Even I have to draw the line somewhere.
What do you think plastic is?
Dead, decayed dinosaurs eaten by bacteria and then shit out as petroleum products, which are then chemically altered in a laboratory into injection-molded love canals.
So let’s see how many fetishes that is…
– Necrophilia
– Bestiality
– Macrophilia
– Coprophilia
– love of decaying things (I don’t know the name for this one)
– medical fetish
– And, of course, onanism.
♫ I’ve got a thong in my heart… ♫
Somehow I can’t picture any intelligent life, robotic or otherwise, going for Glenn without some hefty cash up front.
Lmao, any woman who refuses to use a dildo is just plain strange. I don’t think I’ve ever been with one who didn’t own one, and I don’t think I’d want to. Repressed people aren’t worth the time.
You’re not really going to try and swing this one by any women in this thread and expect to be taken seriously, right?
every woman he’s been with has a dildo and any woman who refuses to use one is strange. *snort*
this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long while.
study the female anatomy, dude. Vaginal orgasms are a myth.
Vaginal orgasms are a myth.
Er… what?
Freud’s idiotic vaginal/clitoral orgasm ideas have been pretty well debunked, but everything I’ve read suggests that an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm and wherever you get stimulated is the type of orgasm you have.
See, for example.
women fuck little robotic penis’s all the time.
In some cases they refuse to do so. Not that I’m bitter.
Just to be clear (and to assuage the Wrath of Lesley), the cause of my bitterness was women responding “Go away, you little robotic dick”.
This thread needs more jokes explained.
WordPress lies! My beautiful, informative text wall, no!
I have to wonder, has the professor thought about the error and pop-up messages on the cybersluts:
-Penis not found, abort, retry, fail?
-New hardware found. Searching drivers for mini-dick.
-New hardware has been instralled faultily, it may work improperly
-Access violation in area FFEC06F2
-Virus detected. Choose action: Erase, Quarantee, Ignore
-The system performance is suffering, it i suggested you opgrade your hardware.
-Please wait while performing backup
-Low power, entering hibernation
And the one I forgot:
-Harddick not found, reboot from floppy?
Ahem. Some women don’t use,em,appliances, because quite frankly they overstimulate(causing pretty much a numbness that’s anything but pleasurable) and make orgasm impossible. On the other hand,heh,a gentle touch and just the teeniest bit of concern can produce remarkable results. And I say this as a female who knows what she likes,knows what she doesn’t and has no problem saying so. Repression isn’t the same as not liking something and communicating one’s preferences.
“And this guy’s wife goes around lecturing people about a supposed masculinity crisis in America.”
Those durn Republicans. Always projecting.
.
A four star, apparently serious review on Amazon: I can only imagine the amount of interesting research David Levy had to do for this book.
I’m gonna be an Adrienne Barbeau-bot.
Well, I’m gonna get me an Olivia D’Abo-bot. Hubba hubba.
HEEEEYYYYYY AAAABBBOOO-BOOTTTT!
Ever so sorry.
In a nutshell: I like fucking humans.
Hello? Is this the Toybot Company? Um, yes, I’d like to order a female toybot. It’s for a friend. Yes, ok. Which model. Well, you know in Star Wars VI, Princess Leia, what? Most popular model? Really. Heh heh. The waiting list is HOW long??
So someday you too could have a robotic wife without the current time and expense of becoming the President.
uh, this book was “big” in the media over a month ago. the author was even on colbert.
Some like vibes, some don’t.
Some like veggies, some don’t.
Some like oral, some don’t.
Some like to pitch and some like to catch…
But I’ve yet to meet a Cheeto-fetishist.
Maybe that’s the impetus for this from Glenn.
And mikey, did you just admit to owning a banana hammock?
Thanks toby, that was nearly as bad as G. Gordon Liddy
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/2646.html
I feel compelled to point out that both Liddy and Hulk are wearing Speedo-style swimsuits – different critter than a thong.
Quite comfy under a sport-kilt, I might add.
Umm, isn’t “gay faggot” a double negative?
More like a double plus positive.
Sad??????
Just register and be happy…….
No hidden charges & free registration……..
http://www.stickiewicket.com/shine/shine13
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sounds like masturbation is going to be very expensive in the future.
Personally, speaking as a Transhumanist, one of the things that really turns me off is the idea that the poor, with their icky filthy bodies and ill educated minds, have just as easy access to sex as I do; where as when Sexbots are legal, only I with my super Lawyer money will be able to afford the very best bot-bottoms, but the poor will have to make do with my disinfected hand-me-downs… and then, oh oh god YES, I’ll truly feel like the successful and powerful man that I really am! Except you’d never believe it, if you spoke to my living breathing meat-space second place prize of a wife…. but she’ll be a quiet irrelevance too, when I have my Sexbot!
[…] But it also shows that Daniels likes saying weird unsubstantiated sci-fi shit. So I ask you: will Daniels be hurt politically if he starts talking about robot sex a la Instapundit? […]
[…] is a professor at University of Tennessee) who don’t mind underwriting Reynolds’ fantasies of robot sex and assassinating Iranians. One could argue there is value in Reynolds, as a purveyor of the […]