When Wingnuts Last In The Dooryard Bloom’d
Roger L. Simon
Barack Obama’s speech on his pastor and church got Roger L. Simon so worked up that he composed something he calls a “poem” but that you and I might call pathetic drivel parading around as a poem. And unlike, say, the poems of Emily Dickinson, Simon’s poem can’t even be sung to the tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas.”
So, SadlyNaughts, let’s listen to the dulcet metrics of the Longfellow of Los Angeles, starting with the title:
‘Barack, I Didn’t Do It for This’: An Homage to Andrew Goodman
As you’ll see soon enough, a better title would have been:” ‘Barack, I Didn’t Do It for This’, Or, Why I I’m Blacker Than Barack.”
Barack, I didn’t do it for this.
Barack, I was a civil rights worker… South Carolina, 1966… 22 yrs old … helping old folks register to vote, teaching kids to read and write, directing Raisin in the Sun…
Barack, I didn’t do it for this.
By the way, Roger has a somewhat different account of his labors in South Carolina in his bio:
So more out of a sense of panic than anything else, I wrote my first novel HEIR. I composed the book over a stiflingly hot summer in the front office of an African-American funeral home in Sumter, South Carolina, the only air conditioned spot available to a Northern white boy civil rights worker.
Clearly Simon didn’t hole himself up in an air-conditioned office to write a bad mystery novel so that Barack could run for President.
Barack, I idolized Stokley [sic] Carmichael and the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee.
Although apparently Roger didn’t idolize Stokely Carmichael enough to learn how to spell his name correctly.
Barack, I lost the full use of my left hand for life in South Carolina.
Barack, I didn’t do it for this.
It’s not quite clear how Roger lost the full use of his left hand writing that novel, but it certainly doesn’t appear to have hindered his subsequent ability to pull on his pud or to type up silly blog posts and poems.
Barack, I didn’t do it for this.
Barack, your speech was bullshit.
[…]
Barack, this isn’t about the black church.
Barack, this is about a pathological minister whose uncontrolled anger wounds his own people and keeps them down.
Not that Simon has any uncontrolled anger of his own, of course.
Barack, you say you want Black-Jewish reconciliation but you hung with an anti-Semite.
Barack, I didn’t do it for this.
Mel who? You mean, Mel Gibson? Is he an anti-Semite? Oh, that’s completely different.
Roger, when I said that Jews were cool, I didn’t do it for this.
Roger, when I faked liking that Paul Mazursky movie you wrote, I didn’t do it for this.
Roger, when I pretended that I knew who you were before you went right-wing, I didn’t do it for this.
Roger when I puke blood after listening to you rationalize your support for Huey Newton while whining about a beautiful speech, I didn’t do it for this.
Wait. Yes I did. That last one. Yep.
I wish you wouldn’t post pictures of this guy. He’s an absolute dead ringer for what my favorite uncle looked like in the 70’s. My favorite uncle was a nice guy.
Oh yeah — one last thing Rog, who the FUCK asked you to do anything?
Also, who said we owed you for shit, Rog?
It is delicious to see these two headlines juxtaposed in Google News today
His Dumbness not so appealing anymore.
Seriously. Who asked this dick trickle?
Note to Roger:
Bugger off, you whining twit.
Roger, I didn’t watch “Scenes from a Mall” for this.
Oh, OK, I’m lying. I never watched “Scenes from a Mall.”
It is delicious to see these two headlines juxtaposed in Google News today:
His Dumbness not so appealing anymore.
Nice. Poem’s put up under a banner that refers to “selling” the media “down the river.”
sorry for the off topic post, but couldn’t resist. 😮
Roger Simon certainly has taken the speech personally. I’m visualizing some female in his life trying to discuss or impart experiences of oppression (rape, incest, discrimination in the workplace, sexual harassment) and can picture him weeping buckets of tears and accusing her (and all women) of being soooooooo mean to the nice sensitive man who caaaaaaaaaares.
Another thing.
poem? Poem? POEM?!?
So by placing random, nonsensical words in some sort of order makes it a poem?
Its all a little too deconstructionist for my taste.
Wingnuts seem to have difficulty understanding the phrase “uncontrolled anger”. Uncontrolled anger is not making radical, but historically defensible comments about America. Uncontrolled anger is shooting up a church, blowing up office buildings or lynching people.
Roger Simon smells like trees.
He’s having a slam poetry jam all by his lonesome inside his head. That’s seven different flavors of sadness.
Who the fuck is Roger Simon, and why should I care?
Roger, I didn’t ask you to jerk off in public.
Hmm. So this cracker asshole was 22 in ’66, eh?
In South Carolina, huh?
Say. Isn’t that in AMERICA?
Hey Roger. Some of us, well, lets just say they found some other place for us to be around that time. And almost sixty fucking thousand came home in bags. You were busy, I understand, you had to write a novel and build up your own sense entitlement. Fuckwad.
Roger. I went to Vietnam. I didn’t do it for this…
mikey
Usually it’s disgusting to watch a man jerk off in public, but here it’s just sad.
Dipshittius Maximus, Emperor Of Pajamaland.
What a douche.
Sure you’re not confusing cause and effect there?
Shorter Roger L. Simon:
What rhymes with uppity?
Some white people have delicate sensibilities. I’d replace the ball cap on Simon with a frilly bonnet, doll him up in some fine velvet curtain material held up by a curtain rod, and stick him in front of a burning southern mansion.
Holy moly…it’s just too funny. And embarrassing.
Is Roger Simon gonna have to choke a bitch ?
Actually I thought that poem was sensitive and revealing. He “did it” in order to earn the eternal gratitude of de blacks and a lifetime “I am SO NOT RACIST” card. And what’s he got now? Neither, plus a problematic hand. No wonder he’s mad.
Thank heavens others “did it” too but with different motivations.
It’s particularly gross that he managed to drag Andrew Goodman into his sorry display of racism and self-adoration. Hey, Rog, if you’re reading, Goodman was a Democrat, and if there is an immortal soul he probably thinks you’re a shithead.
Can we agree to a moratorium on placing [sic] inside of quotes?
If you really want to make a point of it, place it outside the quote to denote that the spelling or phrasing error was indeed intentionally quoted.
Worst poem by a Mel Gibson fan EVER.
I mean, geez, if he’d known that they would vote for this kind of black guy, he would have torn up their registration cards.
I curse Roger Simon for all time. His penis just shriveled and fell off.
I sucked George Bush’s dick, but I didn’t do it for “this”.
I did it because GOP dicks taste GREAT!
I sucked George Bush’s dick because GOP dicks are LESS FILLING!
Oh, and what mikey said.
Roger and John Doe Malkin could have themselves a poetry slam that would make the world forget Shakespeare and Marlowe. Or maybe Cosell and Ali. Whatever.
Barack, I was a civil rights worker…helping old folks register to vote
Who among us hasn’t encountered an odious condescending ‘do-gooder’ with a martyr complex like Roger? You know the ones who force their help on people who don’t need it, don’t ask for it, or don’t want it. Or maybe they do but they’d rather not have him helping them because they’ll never hear the end of it.
If those folks were alive today they’d tell you they tried being polite with Roger, but eventually were forced to beat him with a stick to leave them the hell alone.
I composed the book over a stiflingly hot summer in the front office of an African-American funeral home in Sumter, South Carolina, the only air conditioned spot available to a Northern white boy civil rights worker.
I guess none of the selfish black folks he was registering were grateful enough to let him use their air-conditioned spare rooms in their homes….oh, they didn’t hav – what?
There’s this great poster of Keith Richards wearing a t-shirt that says, “Who the Fuck is Roger Simon.”
Or at least there should be.
I sucked George Bush’s dick because GOP dicks are LESS FILLING!
BWAHAHA! Ok, that’s really goddam funny.
Even if the old Tastes Great! Less Filling! war went far beyond tedious.
But it was much less tedious than this dorkiness, which pops into my head unbidden whenever the topic of light beer comes up.
My head is my worst enemy.
Contrast Marshall Ganz, who, like Simon, is a Jew who as a young man went down to the South to do civil rights work with SNCC, in his case, in the summer of 1964.
ok, it’s obvious that Roger Simon’s “poem” is the gift that will keep on giving. I’m astounded at the commentary. It’s making my day. Thanks Rog! (wack!)
It almost scans like (god hep mah) Joni Mitchell’s “Amelia”:
Amelia, it was just a false alarm
[Barack, I didn’t do it for this]
Okay, I think it’s long past time we had another Sadly, No™ limerick slam. Here, I’ll go first.
There once was a douchebag named Simon
Who thought he was up on his rhymin’.
A wingnut, of course;
He backed the wrong horse,
And that was more off than his timin’.
Who asked this dick trickle?
Heh. I kid you not.
And what Lesley said at 0:33. Of course it’s all about Mr. Simon. “I Didn’t Do It For This”?? What an asshole. So what DID he do it for? Himself, apparently.
MzNicky, you realize it’s only a matter of time before someone rhymes Simon with hymen. You’ may have opened that door, girl!
Lesley: Yeah, I know. That’s the risk we take. I am ashamed to admit I briefly considered it my own self in trying to come up with rhymes for “Simon”.
I know, Peej. I know. Except for some reason I thought he was a baseball player.
I think I would have opted for Rick Trickle, or Richard Trickle.
Even Ricky Trickle. Just not Dick.
Roger Simon’s poem and every post in this thread can be sung to “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley.
I blame these guys.
Barack, I didn’t sell out my youthful ideas for this.
Barack, I sold them for this column.
Barack….line?
Barack, this is about a pathological minister whose uncontrolled anger wounds his own people and keeps them down”
Yup, that’s it.
shorter Simon’ — Whitey gives you welfare and let’s you sit up front of the bus, long as you don’t jabber too much, and your still angry. Get a job!
It’s remarkable how many Wingnuts ‘marched’ for civil rights in the South, which of course, gives them the right to tell all Black Americans what they should think, feel and do.
I once had a client named Dick Fuchs. He went by ‘Dick’. Really.
And a friend works with a Mr. Melvin Lester who, wouldn’t you know it, insists on ‘Mel.’
Before Rosa Parks fought for her seat on that bus, Roger was riding public transit! So there!
It’s all about him. It always is.
Hell, I’ll ALWAYS play.
‘Specially if Righteous Bubba’s busy with his Janusnode (hee hee).
Simon, he said. Roger L.
Sit down I’ve got a story to tell
Sure, I helped all those darkies
But it’s a bunch of malarky
That one might get to be president? LIKE HELL!!
mikey
Hell, I’ve been dining out on those old stories about the Civil Rights Movement for years. Then this 9/11 thing came along.
Best,
Roger Simon
Some people’s hot
Some people’s cold
Some people’s not very
Swift to behold
Some people do it
Some see right through it
Some wear pyjamas
If only they knew it
The pyjama people are boring me to pieces
Feel like I am wasting my time
They all got flannel up ‘n down ’em
A little trap-door back aroun’ ’em
An’ some cozy little footies on their mind
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
They sure do make you sleepy
With the things they might say
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Mother Mary ‘n Jozuf, I wish they’d all go away!
–Po-Jama People, Frank Zappa
“Barack, I was a civil rights worker…helping old folks register to vote”
Which makes Simon blacker than Obama.
But it you really want to puke your last 2 days worth of food go to the Corner and read what those enlighted racial thinkers are saying.
http://www.kindweb.com/ecards/usertextpic.asp?ID=33
Have fun kids! And remember; it’s spelled R-O-G-E-R L S-I-M-O-N
Shorter Roger Simon:
“Barack, I didn’t sit around all day jerkin’ on my gherkin for this.”
I presume you’re over the flu Jen? Hope so.
Anyway,
There once was a liberal called Roger,
Who turned into a crotchety codger,
He helped out some blacks
Yes these are the facts,
But then demanded they all suck his todger.
More transparent silliness from Roger-HeroSammich-Simon
.
Here’s what you’re saying dude in that one paragraph. Throw the baby out with the bathwater, one bad apple spoils the crop. And this is, in part, what drove you to become the CEO of a wingnuttia rag that supports people who’d nuke whole countries filled with brown people.
Dude, the person you’re shrieking about IS YOU.
The reaction in wingnut circles to this speech terrifies me. I’m actually frightened.
Obama goes out of his way to be nice to everybody, even saying, more or less “Racism is bad, but we may need to be a little less hard on white racists”, and the right blogosphere says he’s being divisive.
Just… that people would be so disingenuous, so nasty to somebody very explicitly reaching out to them… that it’s not enough for him to meet them half-way, he also has to condemn black people as even more evil then white people…
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Wonder what he’ll come up with for tomorrow’s installment of “Roger L. Simon Blackface Theater”?
Once I was young and impulsive
I wore every conceivable pin
Even went to the socialist meetings
Learned all the old union hymns
But I’ve grown older and wiser
And that’s why I’m turning you in
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a … neocon
(Sorry, Phil in pholksinger heaven, them libs is now cons)
Christopher – I think probably most of the reaction is born of their rage and disbelief that for the first time many of them can ever remember, someone didn’t cave in to their absurd demands. This makes him a black man who does not know his place – unacceptable!!! Worse yet, in pointing out that they are merely trying to distract attention from things that actually matter – where their candidate cannot hope to compete – he doubled their pleasure by flipping them the rhetorical equivalent of the two-handed bird.
How would you expect a righwinger to act when an uppity n***er flips him off with both hands?
See, no big surprises here.
Well duh! See, he’s saying there are racists. Which they clearly are not. It’s clear because they keep saying so. And if they say it enough times, it’s true. Anyway, we’re not racist in America the
WhiteBeautiful so it’s hateful and divsive of him to say we are!Let us not forget Dick Trickle’s fellow Wisconsinite Dick Bong, a World War II pilot.
wingnuts need a crash course on projection. they seem to indulge in a lot of screaming while looking in the mirror. simon’s got a serious case of this.
Shorter Roger L. Simon: What rhymes with uppity?
Roger Ailes FTW.
Only slightly off-topic, but worthwhile to point out for those of you who may not have seen it over at roy’s:
“I am not one to underestimate Barack Obama’s skill at constructing cathedrals with his words,” says Jonah Goldberg, demonstrating his skill at erecting rickety outhouses with the same material.
I am the bigot I’ve been waiting for.
Yes I can!
I’m certainly no expert on the Black Panthers but it was common knowledge at the time that Huey carried a gun because he was a target of the CIA/FBI and feared for his life. I seriously doubt Huey or the Panthers ever threatened Simon or his children. In any case, if Simon had reason to worry at the time – which I’m thinking he never really did – what was he doing letting crazy (so he claims) armed men into his house?
In addition to projection, freepers have a tendency to revise history to suit their needs.
What Roger L. Simon is saying here is that he SOLVED white on black racism 42 years ago. Single handedly (since he sacrificed his left hand, maybe it turned bad and he had to chop it and replace it with chain saw, I dont know)!
Weep, weep for him I say! Such a burden this man holds! He alone knows that there is NO racism- aside from vile black on white racism and he is too tired ( or he is holding a popsicle in his right hand and it’s dripping) to fight this.
Alas! If only Obama would completly denounce his pastor, admit there is no white on black racism, and write a novel in a refreshingly cool funeral home- then ALL RACISM will be solved!
(Except for those goddamn job stealin mexicans- they fucking hate EVERYONE!)
OT, but it’s something I’ve been curious about:
Just how bad is Dr. BLT’s music?
Is it Mallard Fillmore bad? (Unfunny, embarrassing to the reader and creator and the conservative movement in general, but not disturbing)
Is it Prussian Blue bad? (Hysterically funny, but very disturbing)
Is it Chris Muir bad? (Funny because of the great pride he takes in his pretentious incoherence, but again, not disturbing)
What?
I’ve never worked up the nerve to click any of the links. His commentary is so tedious, I just can’t bring myself to step into the looking glass.
It might be Prickly City bad, which I don’t think I could take in musical form.
actually the amount of his self absorption is heroically Althousean in it’s degree.
is it some cosmic-freudian-jungian accident that it was his left hand that went limp or fell off or whatever? or did some old black lady just beat that hand senseless as it gripped her arm one day?
what happened to his hand apparently is the fault of black people. simon can’t forgive them.
Oh, the white folks hate the black folks
And the black folks hate the white folks
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule
But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark
Are dancing cheek to cheek
It’s fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don’t let ’em in your school
Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks
And the rich folks hate the poor folks
All of my folks hate all of your folks
It’s American as apple pie
But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans
‘Cause it’s very chic
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can’t stand
You can tolerate him if you try
Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants
And the Hindus hate the Moslems
And everybody hates the Jews
But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
It’s National Everyone-Smile-At-
One-Another-hood Week
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It’s only for a week, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn’t last all year!
he is holding a popsicle in his right hand and it’s dripping
Eeewww.
Except for some reason I thought he was a baseball player.
Dick Pole maybe? He’s now the Reds’ pitching coach.
Galactic Dustbin had a really good idea. Maybe Sadly,No! would photoshop Roger Simon into this movie poster.
Goddamn. This is fucking batshit crazy. Who the hell does this supposed human think he is to speak for Goodman? My mind melts.
Oh, and FWIW, my mom was a friend of Mickey Schwerner’s. So should I do some crazyasstastic poetry to capture that?
Let us not forget Dick Trickle’s fellow Wisconsinite Dick Bong, a World War II pilot.
AHEM.
That would be Richard Ira Bong, America’s leading ace. In history.
Flying with the 49th FG out of Port Moresby and the SW Pacific, he shot down 40 Japanese aircraft confirmed.
Bong won the CMH, among others. He was a great pilot with terrible gunnery skills. He learned quickly that he had to fly the heavy P38 right up close to the faster and more nimble japanese planes, litterally stick his guns in their cockpit in order to kill them.
Interestingly, he flew with america’s second top ace, Tommy McGuire, who finished with 38 kills, also with the 49th FG out of PM, and they really, really didn’t get along.
Bong died test flying the P80 jet fighter out of Burbank the same day as the Hiroshima atomic bombing.
Just thought somebody ought to say…
mikey
Hoosier X,
It’s been quite a while since I sampled the Dr.’s musical offerings. I used to be a music journalist, so I’d generally give anything that promised a new tune at least a 10 second blast. If I remember right, his tunes weren’t terrible. He wasn’t great, but I’ve certainly heard much worse. I don’t know if his whole ovure is thus, but the tune I listened was trying to be funny and failed miserably. So he’s sort of P.J. O’Rourke post-Parliament Of Whores funny. Sloppy and tedious, but he’s enjoying it more than you are, doesn’t take it too seriously and really isn’t hurting anybody.
‘Course, he could be better nowadays. I’m not a music journalist anymore and, therefore, no longer give a fuck. I’d much, much, much rather listen to, just to pull a name out of random from the iPod, Bobby Bare than Dr. BLT’s fumbly, soi-Mark Russell stuff. It takes a lot of skill to pull of political music, much less political musical satire. I, for one, do not have the patience anymore, nor am I getting paid for it. Bobby Bare’s just cool all on his own. His version of “Come Sundown”? Bad ass.
However! I give all props to Dr. BLT for seeing something he wanted to do that, apparently, wasn’t getting done and giving it a try. Sing your song, children, if just for the sake of the song.
‘Course, this doesn’t answer your question. I say go ahead, Hoosier, and live dangerously. If nothing else, it might give some insight into how one aspect of the conservative mind. Which aspect that is, I’m not sure, but we hold out hope.
Oh, yeah, Roger Simon? Fuck that guy. If you didn’t “do it” so’s a black man could say something that pissed you off whilest running for president just like a white man could, then you did it for the wrong friggin’ reason, son.
I’m with Christopher. I knew the wing-a-doodles, the sho’nuff crazies wouldn’t all suddenly start chipping into the Put Obama On Mt. Rushmore Fund, but they’re just squeezing out every opportunity, no matter how minute, to squeal about the crazy darkie in our midst. And I know Simon and his ilk are in a minority. People are talking about this shit, people who won’t vote for Obama but still get something out of what he said.
Some folks, though, don’t want that convorsation.
Roger. You failed existence in 1990, when you fucked up a film involving Woody Allen, Bette Midler and Paul Mazursky, not to mention a genuinely good idea. Stop talking like you have any authority.
Is it time for poop jokes yet?
My name’s Rog, and listen up, all:
Spielberg, Lucas, those cats never call.
I badly hurt my left hand
Jerkin’ off to Ayn Rand.
Did you know I wrote “Scenes From A Mall”?
Hoosier: http://www.drblt.net/music/MaverickDemo2.mp3
Within you will find moderately grating first-time-at-karaoke country singing and some very very plain country backing, also weird crackling and leftover vocals from another attempt at the song and (I think) vocals from another song. It’s really kind of a train wreck.
I feel a little bad for BLT at times and tunes like the one above lend him the Art Brut sincerety that the Ruppert Puppets have not yet managed.
Click. You know you want to.
I don’t know if I’d hold that movie against him, honestly. There’s a time and a place for a movie featuring Woody Allen and Bette Midler squabbling, but it wasn’t the late ’80s/early ’90s. It sucked still, don’t get me wrong, but it may’ve just been too mighty a job.
I should have added that BLT’s tune is a damn sight better than Brad’s Trollypants response which DOES NOT EVEN EXIST.
Roger Simon recoiled in fright
From Paster Jeremiah Wright
He once liked those blacks
But now can’t relax
With Barack’s evil homies in sight.
Some of you people have simply gone crazy. Are you aware that the Simon that you seem to have so much trouble with is the same Simon of Simon and Simon, the world famous tv detectives? I’m pretty sure that this one is the older one, cause he was the one who couldn’t work in Hollywood cause he wasn’t a LIE-brul like all of the G*d hating atheists. I just thought you outta know before you make further fools of your communist selves.
Oh, and apparantly some of you aren’t aware that your candidate is a NEGRO. Uh-huh. Look it up, Mr. Big Shot LIE-brul, and then try to explain why you’ve been saying you were gonna VOTE FOR HIM???
Honestly, sometimes I don’t know why I bother monitoring the perimeters, I should just let the Islamohomos take over the USA of America and then you’d all be happy, right??
“I didn’t do it for this, Barack,
When I selflessly helped the poor black.
Thanks to me now your race
Has itself a great place
Fighting for our freedom in Iraq.”
Ahem. Is this thing on?
O DOUCHEBAG! my Douchebag! your fearful brain is done;
Your past has changed with every whim, the prize you sought is none;
While drinking beer the sounds you hear of darkies all revoltish,
While beady eyes go piggy-dim, your visage grim and doltish:
But O hand! hand! hand!
O the leftish hand of gimp,
Where in your lap your only friend
Is fallen cold and limp.
Also regarding BLT: I question him about that crackling.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9070.html#comment-571725
Dick Bong flew a P-38 Lightning named Marge (after his wife). There weren’t very many Lightning aces.
(sorry, this is now more interesting to me than Simon, or Garfunkel)
Bong died test flying the P80 jet fighter out of Burbank the same day as the Hiroshima atomic bombing.
They sent him home after he shot down 40, so he could get out of the fight and marry his sweetheart. He died 6 months after the wedding.
I’ve got this mad craving for potato chips, licorice allsorts, chocolate and beer. I blame Roger Simon.
Mikey,
I’ve always liked your stuff here, but was never moved to comment about it before. But this:
Roger. I went to Vietnam. I didn’t do it for this…
(And everything else you wrote)
[Licks fingertip; presses it against invisible imaginary Roger Simon; makes “hissshhh” sound]
Stone fuckin righteous.
The civil rights crusader named Rog
Had to get the hell out of Dodge.
He heard when MLK spoke
But then his room’s AC broke.
“Sorry blacks! I need a new lodge.”
I should have added that BLT’s tune is a damn sight better than Brad’s Trollypants response which DOES NOT EVEN EXIST.
The Captain put da beatdown on all comers for all time, yo.
Yeah, I bet he wishes he had a time machine right about now.
It was a hot summer’s day in SC
Where Roger Simon happened to be.
He helped black folks vote
and avoid the garrote
But betrayal! They dare vote Barry!
That “Maverick” song wasn’t too bad. If it had been written in jest, to make fun of conservatives, it would be quite funny. (Sort of like Mallard Fillmore.)
What we REALLY need is a John McCain song to the tune of the old James Garner “Maverick” show.
Who is that crazy old guy there?
Maverick is his name.
Guiding the country who knows where
Delusion’s his companion.
Um, I’ll get back to this. Looks fun.
To be fair, he did write the screenplay to Enemies: A Love Story. But that was a co-write with Mazursky, based on a novel, so whatevs man.
The negroes are getting out of line
Said the creator of Moses Wine
For to vote as their right
Would be naught but for my fight
And that is the reason I must whine
R. L. Simon sat to write a poem,
But sadly, his head’s stuffed with loam.
Although his memory is dim,
The black vote’s thanks to him,
Or so he recalls from his suburban home.
Poor Simon, once a liberal stooge,
Now takes political cues from the Nuge.
“No! I’m still the same!
It’s the left that turned lame.
Opposing war, without which I can’t spooge!”
Barack, I gave hundreds to the Black Panthers for their children’s breakfast program when I was 25 and a young screenwriter in Echo Park, Los Angeles, even though I knew Huey was crazy and was worried my money might have been going for guns, even though I had my own children in the house when the Panthers came over, their jackets bulging.”
http://bp2.blogger.com/_OxivffKm3oM/R-G8P14w4fI/AAAAAAAAAIs/SOlmu6AVMVk/s1600-h/Haygood02.jpg
some day i’ll learn grayscale.
Roger sez:
I’ve gone to the right ’cause I’m thinking
Or maybe because I am drinking.
I don’t really believe
They should get a reprieve
But then again, my IQ is shrinking
mikey
What we REALLY need is a John McCain song to the tune of the old James Garner “Maverick” show.
I think we should get Cypress Hill to reprise their greatest:
McCain in the membrane
McCain in the brain!!!
Dick Pound, head of the World Anti-Doping Agency. Now there’s a name for you.
Didn’t SNVCC kick all the white people out at some point in the 60s? Now we know why. Or was that SDS? Central to my point either way.
A friend went to school with Dick Head. He wanted to be called Rich, but most high school kids couldn’t be expected to resist . . .
Since nobody else will do it…
Wingnut welfare maestro, name of Simon,
Barely qualified to work as a pieman,
Once wrote for Hollyweird
But now he’s a-sceered
Those dark folk are prowling for that white hymen.
…well, I guess that’s why nobody else did it…
Nightjar, here’s your pic in grayscale.
Simple Simon met a pieman
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
“Let me taste your ware.”
Says the pieman to Simple Simon,
“Show me first your penny.”
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
“Indeed I have not any.”
/obligatory
Muchas Gracias Lesley!
his face could use some graininess 🙂 he’s a little too smoove.
Who is that crazy old guy there?
Maverick is his name.
Guiding the country who knows where
Delusion’s his companion.
Who loves war the best?
On the old Straight Talk Express?
At least he’ll be a little better than Bush.
Living on pork and beans …
He’ll save us from fags and queens
Maverick is a sell-out Repug douche.
his face could use some graininess 🙂 he’s a little too smoove.
Girl. let me explain something to you. I’m from the old school, you understand. I’ll treat you right. There ain’t nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, baby. You know what I’m saying?
Damn.
The flack is, Roger Simon is teh Great Amurrican nahvelist. You just can’t stand the fact that your namby pamby neegra didn’t write no Oskar numinated screensplays. And your going to loose to McCain because he won’t die. Hard even.
his face could use some graininess 🙂 he’s a little too smoove”
still looks better than it did.
All Simon is saying is that because his youthful, idealistic self tried to assist the Civil Rights Movement he owns black people. There were no actual black leaders of this movement, it relied entirely on jewish kids from the north, and as a condition of this assistance black people have to ask the permission of those now-adult jewish kids before they do anything outside.
Obama did not get written permission from Simon to run for President, or to act like he knows more about race than some jewish dood. Therefore, he should be ashamed.
Btw, don’t let Roger Simon open a door for you, ladies….
Let me get this straight:
Roger Simon thinks he helped black people obtain equality by registering some old people to vote, and that he did that so in 2008, black people couldn’t say things he disagrees with.
I think someone needs to be schooled a bit more on equality and freedom.
A couple of gem commenters from a previous anti-Obama rant of Roger’s:
first.
unlike workaholic straight shooting Bush, and his merry gang of crooks, liars, and treasonous backstabbers right??????
two rhymes with poo:
the biggest loser speaks!
“I didn’t do it for this.” Jesus flipping pancakes, the arrogance of the man!
Does he really think he’s owed a goddamn thing for helping people exercise their right to self-determination? The nuns at St. Agatha’s taught me that working toward good was its own reward—a privilege, even. (They also taught me excellent posture and a flinchy fear of rulers.)
That’s the tricky thing about self-determination. When people make their own choices, those choices may or may not coincide with yours. That’s pretty much the whole point, right?
So what’s Mr. SolomonWine bitching about, anyway?
There were no actual black leaders of this movement, it relied entirely on jewish kids from the north
That reminds of a darkly funny line I read from a Life magazine article published shortly after the disclosure of the Chaney-Goodman-Schwerner murders. A Mississippi black interviewed in the article said something to the effect of, “Yeah, it finally took the murder of some ofays to get people’s attention about what’s happening here.”
oh my lord, here’s another one, even more over the top
from the guy who voted for the anti-Christ and his fundamentalist Christian base in 2000 and 2004.
Actually, a lot of white people celebrated OJ’s acquittal. I remember the night it happened some creepy white guy engaged me in a long conversation about how OJ had been framed and didn’t I think it was a good thing thing that he had beaten the rap. Poor people are more similar than they are different.
PeeJ, you forgot to credit Tom Lehrer for his wonderful song “National Brotherhood Week”
Oh, was that someone else’s work?
I stand by my memoir. Tom who?
OOPS. Gotta work on remembering that name change thing.
I didn’t think anyone would actually credit *me* – it’s obviously better than I can do.
…people are more similar than they are different.
One of the few lines from PJ O’Rourke’s later work that I think hit the nail on the head he says something along the lines of “…there is less divergence between the most far flung humans than between any two breeds of dog. I discovered this by the most straightforward method: by sleeping around.”
even a busted clock is right twice a day.
The t-shirt just says it all. You can read it either as “I am greater than you,” or, if you’re a Linux pervert like me, you can read it as “Redirect me to you,” which is either shorthand for “I project faster than a Cineplex Odeon on a Saturday Night,” or “Privatise the benefits, socialise the costs.” Pwned…
Shorter Roger Simon: “Barack, you ungrateful . . . .”
The wingnut squeals
with blustery shrill
his made-up shit
all right-wing swill
and his tune is heard
by kindred dorks
for the wingnut
squeals of…
…Just what is this honky motherfucker squealing?
O, Barack
Barack, your wife is insufficiently grateful for the scholarships she earned.
Barack, your minister should use nuanced words about America although more than six times as many black men as white men are in prison. and racial bias puts black men on death row.
Barack, you should not use nuanced words about your angry minister because your Godgiven role is to make whites feel good about themselves and to save them if needed.
Barack, why don’t you understand that my conflicted activism erased history?
Barack, life is like a box of chocolates–whites are always at the center.
Barack, didn’t you notice that I’m white?
I didn’t leave the Negroes; the Negroes left me.
Lesley:
“More transparent silliness from Roger-HeroSammich-Simon
Barack, I gave hundreds to the Black Panthers for their children’s breakfast program when I was 25 and a young screenwriter in Echo Park, Los Angeles, even though I knew Huey was crazy and was worried my money might have been going for guns, even though I had my own children in the house when the Panthers came over, their jackets bulging.
Here’s what you’re saying dude in that one paragraph. Throw the baby out with the bathwater, one bad apple spoils the crop. And this is, in part, what drove you to become the CEO of a wingnuttia rag that supports people who’d nuke whole countries filled with brown people.
Dude, the person you’re shrieking about IS YOU.”
This is an excellent point, Lesley, but there is a huge difference:
sure, the Black Panthers MAY or may have not used Roger’s money on guns, while it is CERTAIN that his money (as a taxpayer) were used to bomb and kill innocent Iraqis, including thousands of children.
The point that you are missing is that when we kill all these brown children, we don’t do it out of anger. Have you ever seen President Bush angry? Sure his inconceivably stupid war killed thousands, but he always remains a positive, jovial, friendly fellow. It is the anger here that is the problem, not the actual killing.
To make it simpler: anger+words=bad, jokes+bombs = okay-ish
Yeah, I bet he wishes he had a time machine right about now.
Time machine? Real guys don’t need no steenkin’ time machines. When Ash went back into time to fight the Army of
BlacknessDarkness, he’d opened a time vortex as a side-effect of reading a spell to over-come demons.Like Jennifer said,
http://www.moviegoods.com/movie_product.asp?master_movie_id=9411
Ok, I’ve left off on the auto-Mandarin for a few days now, but this is just awesome:
Barak, I did not do this.
Barak, I was a civil rights workers… South Carolina State, 1966… 22 yrs old and above… help elderly people to conduct voter registration, teach children to read and write, command raisin in the sun…
Barak, I did not do this.
Barak, my dream, my best friend Andy kindergarten from Waerde schools, Manhattan, was born the day after I was shot, Mississippi, in 1964.
Barak, I idols stokley carmichael students and non-violent Co-ordinating Committee.
Barak, I lost the full use of my left hand, living in South Carolina.
Barak, I did not do this.
Barak, I gave hundreds of black leopard for the children’s breakfast program, I was on the 25th of a young writer in the Echo Park, Los Angeles, even if I know that-crazy, and I worry that the money may be has been going on for the gun, even if I have my own children in the House of Representatives when the leopard from their jackets bulging.
Barak, I had an excuse for the black power movement, even though I know that this is turning racist.
Barak, I did not do this.
Barak, your speech is bullshit.
Barak, this is not to future generations.
Barak, this is not the black church.
Barak, it is a pathological Minister, uncontrolled anger injury of his own people, and maintain their disappointment.
Barak, it is about the anger of a people neglected for their own political interests, and even now will not admit that a great wrong, and looks forward to the nuances and excuses.
Barak, a woman about to a scholarship to Princeton University and Harvard University, and still hate America.
Barak, you said you would like to black Jewish reconciliation, but you hung an anti-semite.
Barak, I did not do this.
Auto-Mandarin is better.
Accusations of anti-semitism is always the first resort of these scoundrels.
Roger L. Simon can go fuck himself with Jeff Goldsteins cock.
Mwahahaha. Snerk.
Bwahahahaaaa! [Pounds desk]
Behold, the heart break of hairy palms.
Woohoohoo [gasp]
Shorter MWCMW: “I’m the victim here: I had FRIENDS who had black friends!”
Barack Obama is abusing and defiling the civil rights legacy of Roger L. Simon, and should be ashamed of himself.
To some on this planet, that statement is so ridiculous that it isn’t even good parody. To others on this planet, it’s truth.
The fact is, Barack HUSSEIN Osama has a lot to answer for, all the mistakes of his kind, the negros have been given everything and most just took welfare and hated whitey and success. Not PC but true. He will never win many votes here in the Heartland. Just sayin.
Roger wants a poem? I’ve got a poem for him. Actually, it’s more like a song, sung to the tune of “God Bless America” by some conservative church folks attending the Values Voter Debate (remember that?) last fall. It’s top of the hit parade with some conservative churches, I hear:
Why should God bless America?
She’s forgotten he exists
And has turned her back
On everything that made her what she is.
Why should God stand beside her
Through the night with the light from his hand?
God have mercy on America
Forgive her sin and heal our land
The courts ruled prayer out of our schools
In June of ‘62
Told the children “you are your own God now
So you can make the rules”
O say can you see what that choice
Has cost us to this day
America, one nation under God, has gone astray
Why should god bless America?
She’s forgotten he exists
And has turned her back on everything
That made her what she is
Why should God stand beside her
Through the night with the light from his hand?
God have mercy on America
Forgive her sins and heal our land
In ‘73 the Courts said we
Could take the unborn lives
The choice is yours don’t worry now
It’s not a wrong, it’s your right
But just because they made it law
Does not change God’s command
The most that we can hope for is
God’s mercy on our land
Why should God bless America?
She’s forgotten he exists
And has turned her back on everything
That made her what she is
Why should God stand beside her
Through the night with the light from his hand?
God have mercy on America
Forgive her sins and heal our land
Rogerl’s poem, in limerick form:
In the fight for rights I was a master
The foreman of getting them faster
Now you discredit your race
By forgetting your place
Both you and your uppity pastor.
The fact is, Islamic Jihadists want to kill of convert us all. They are already here, with the support of tolerant liberals. Death to traiters.
Where exactly is the heartland, Gary?
He will never win many votes here in the Heartland. Just sayin.
That’s not nearly as meritorious sounding as you think. Just sayin.
I agree with Gary. Death to trailers!
Hmm. So this cracker asshole was 22 in ‘66, eh?
In South Carolina, huh?
Say. Isn’t that in AMERICA?
Hey Roger. Some of us, well, lets just say they found some other place for us to be around that time. And almost sixty fucking thousand came home in bags. You were busy, I understand, you had to write a novel and build up your own sense entitlement.
Mikey, just FYI, going and fighting in Vietnam did your country no good at all. It was a waste of time, money and lives. Going down to the apartheid South and working for civil rights – helping his fellow citizens get the vote – was infinitely superior, both morally and practically. I agree that this Roger Simon guy is a loon, but saying that civil rights work was somehow inferior to the Noble Cause of Fighting the Viet Cong is just lunatic. Wind it in.
Um, Noble Cause?
Hmm. Darn it. I wonder if a reasonable person might find a different way to interpret what I wrote.
Nope. Guess not. The only possible way to understand my sentiment is to decide I was saying that it was much better for america and humanity to fight in a meaningless, criminal war.
Yep. Thanks for pointing out the error of my arrogant ways.
Guess I’ll just wind it in…
mikey
Guess I’ll just wind it in…
Thanks, mikey. Because it sounded like you were saying Simon had done the wrong thing in going South and working for civil rights rather than going West and fighting in Vietnam.
Simon didn’t go to Vietnam. Good for him. Sensible guy. He was a civil rights worker instead. Even better. The country would be a better place if more people had done what he did, instead of doing what you did.
OK, late as usual but I’ll take a swing:
There once was a pundit named Simon
Who dissed on Obama by rhymin’
His verse full of hate
Was so second rate
That he must have been writing while high, man
John Iselin likes pie.
The fact is, mikey, you sound like fuckin’ Walter from The Big Lebowski with everything Viet-fuckin-Nam all the time. Wind it in indeed.
John, people went to Vietnam for a lot of reasons: the draft, poverty, to stay out of jail, to name a few. You are really making an ass of yourself.
OneMan, that rocked.
The country would be a better place if more people had done what he did, instead of doing what you did.
Listen you miserable fuck, were you even alive back then and breathing? My ex was forced to desert the army to avoid going to Vietnam and lost all contact with his family, couldn’t return to attend their funerals, visit his mom when she got cancer and, even after they passed the amnesty for dodgers and deserters, wouldn’t go back because he did not trust his country. Men who refused to serve were jailed.
They were forced to go, many of them. The others were duped and pressured, shunned if they didn’t.
As far as I’m concerned, any person who endures war for any reason has the floor for as long as they need it. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear it, leave the room.
Typical Republican: I cringe every time I see or hear the “n” word. I realize you’re a typical Republican, but please, stick a sock in that, wouldja?
Well said, Lesley.
He will never win many votes here in the Heartland. Just sayin.
Gary, listen carefully and get a grip on yourself. (Ewwwwww! Nevermind that last part!) The last time I looked at a map, Iowa, where I live, is smack-dab in the middle of the good old USA Patriot country, and Iowa went overwhelmingly for Mr. Obama. Just recently, at the county convention, some of second-place candidate John Edwards’s delegates went over to Obama, giving him an even bigger share of Iowa’s delegates. At the national convention, believe me when I say they will all go to Mr. Obama.
Conclusion? The Heartland loves it some Mr. Obama. Gary, kiss my incredibly pale white ass.
Gary Ruppert said,
March 20, 2008 at 17:54
Candy does not like this Fake Gary. This Fake Gary is a jerk.
In the pursuit of humor it is inevitable that one is going to step over the line.
TR, that wasn’t funny.
Mind you, if you can manage to be funny using that word then I, as a black man, give you permission to go for it.
(Hey, there has to be SOME benefit from having to apologize for the existence of other black people, right?)
But if it’s *not* funny, then I’ll skin your cracker ass alive. You feel me?
Typical Republican, this shit is really not funny. Please cut it out.
So the producer of the “Obama’s a muslim whitey hatin uppity nigger” youtube dreck says only that he had two partners, “one is in the film business.”
Place your bets ladies and gentlemen.
PeeJ,
Oh! I know! It’s got to be that Morgan woman lampooned here last week(?). God I’m so lazy! Intarwebs, help me!
TR – I see it but I don’t think you’re making it clear enough. It’s better if you don’t take that route. Like when clueless straight people make fag jokes – they rarely work.
Once again, what Lesley said.
Vietnam is the only reason the current thugs in charge haven’t reinstated the draft. Because of that travesty, the notion of forcing the country’s young men and women to fight their bullshit clusterfuck wars for them is simply too scary, even for these shameless craven shitbags.
Oh, and Gary Ruppert Pupkin? Stick Walter from “Big Lebowski” AND his bowling ball up your ass.
*sharpens his flensing knife*
I hate to complain, and I do honestly appreciate our Sadly hosts near-boundless magnanimity in comment policy…but for the love of all things holy can you please ban the many faces of Gary? At best, he’s the most uninspired, unamusing, and unoriginal parody troll ever, and at worst he’s exactly the half-witted right-wing fucktard he presents himself as.
If he was at least funny, even occasionally, it’d be a different story (a la the new incarnation of Rugged). And he’s obviously not here to engage anyone in any kind of serious argument. He adds nothing to any thread he participates in, save a metric ass-load of spelling errors.
So please…PLEASE…Gavin, Brad, Clif, Seb, Jillian, Travis, Retardo, D., Mister Leonard Pierce…until he graduates troll college, please ban this turd.
As far as I’m concerned, any person who endures war for any reason has the floor for as long as they need it. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear it, leave the room.
Casting your net pretty wide there, sport. Are we supposed to start thanking Idi Amin and Charles Taylor for their service? War isn’t a force that confers nobility. Not even close.
They were forced to go, many of them. The others were duped and pressured, shunned if they didn’t.
Yes, I know. Thank you for the history lesson. (Quite a lot of them volunteered, too.) Doesn’t alter the fact that the war was a waste of time, money and lives, and that the country would have been much better off with more civil rights activists and less troops in Vietnam. And it certainly doesn’t alter the fact that criticizing someone for working for civil rights instead of going to Vietnam – as mikey did – is a really dumb thing to do.
Oh, Simon’s a loon, by the way.
TR: I’m thinking you’re fake TR. Real TR is kind of funny sometimes. You, on the other hand, remain offensive even when you’re asked to knock it off. I call fake Typical Rethug. I guess that would make you an actual Rethug.
I am Legion, for we are many.
Note to the proprietors: commenters like Typical Republican are going to bring in serious Nazis via Google searches. Particularly if he starts linking to hate sites. A word to the wise.
For what it’s worth, this does not sound like the “Typical Republican” who has commented here off and on for a while. The tone and tenor are wrong.
This probably is not the real Typical Republican (whatever “real” means on the Internet). But he or she does need to go.
I see I’m seconding MzNicky. To add to what she says, the “Typical Republican” I’m more familiar with does his or her schtick in a wink and a nudge way.
TR: I’m thinking you’re fake TR. Real TR is kind of funny sometimes.
I was thinking that too, and there’s one possible bit of forensic support. This one types “Liberals hmf.” at the end of posts, where the original would also have a period after “liberals”.
Since that’s a trademark, I suspect an impostor when it’s done wrong.
…Plus, this TR reads a lot like that one namestealing troll who keeps having to have all his posts deleted.
Lesley:
So how does that make him a “miserable fuck” then? Do you disagree with what he’s saying? Do you think that the country would NOT have been a better place if fewer people had gone to Vietnam?
Perhaps you’re right: more people resisting the draft would have meant more people jailed or exiled. Perhaps, though, it would have meant fewer actual deaths–American and Vietnamese. And perhaps, if everyone had resisted, the very soil of Vietnam would not still be loaded with the poisons which produce all those horrifying birth defects we see today.
A commenter named John Iselin
On a weblog radiated self-satisfaction
So righteous was he
He adjudged morality
And found Vietnam vets to be wanting.
It might be hard to rid ourselves of all the Garys. For example, I think the one who made the comment about Obama not winning the heartland might actually be real Gary, but the one slamming mikey is clearly not.
Gary used to serve a sort of purpose, an emotionless automaton who spewed Republican talking points and gave Sadlies an opportunity to sharpen their arguments. He was maddeningly consistent in his dull, plodding tone and adherence to every idiotic Republican idea going. Then with the 2006 elections, Gary went kind of nuts. He started interacting more, and being more strident. After the elections, as I recall, he disappeared for a time. Since then, it’s a matter of contention if the Real Gary ever came back.
i don’t tihnk this is real TR, either. As J- said, the tone is all wrong. And it should be banned or we will have the visitors zxcv predicts, and banned for the obvious reasons why this current line of “humor” is unacceptable.
Simon didn’t go to Vietnam. Good for him. Sensible guy. He was a civil rights worker instead. Even better. The country would be a better place if more people had done what he did, instead of doing what you did”
What a dumbass thing to say. Even indirectly blaming a soldier for a mistaken war, especially regarding Vietnam, is an ugly exercise. Maybe your too young to remember those days but nothing was so cut and dried in that period.
I was drafted late in the war and had been virulent anti war person. The conflict for young men who had been raised to defend their country was gut wrenching between that and the tragedy of Vietnam as a big mistake. I was lucky and didn’t have to go over, though I had volunteered to go a few months before the peace treaty was signed. To this day I don’t know why I did that, but I do remember thinking I wasn’t special compared to all those who went before me. Whether a soldier is drafted or volunteered (for whatever reason) never warrants condemnation from those who didn’t go.
Looks like the fake TR is having a little trouble with the subtle distinction, so neatly phrased on this board a few days ago, between “satire” and “pastiche”.
Oh, and “being a cretinous, unfunny douche who should go fuck himself”.
Must be a real Republican.
This is a fake TR who has previously paraded around under a variety of other names, including Chris St. James. I’ll delete his previous comments in this thread and any further ones he makes in this thread.
who has previously paraded around under a variety of other names, including Chris St. James
Shocking.
Thanks for stepping in, Clif.
thank you, Clif
A commenter named John Iselin
On a weblog radiated self-satisfaction
So righteous was he
He adjudged morality
And found Vietnam vets to be wanting.
I don’t think that fighting in a war – any war – confers higher moral status. I’ve known good and bad soldiers, and good and bad civilians. I don’t idolize the veteran, or the draft-dodger, or the civilian, or the protester.
I think that people who refused to serve in an unjust and immoral war, and suffered as a result – whether because they were jailed, or because they had to flee the country like Lesley’s ex, or because they were criticized by their neighbours – are morally impressive. I’m not about to condemn people like mikey because they went to war when they were sent, because I doubt that I would have done the morally impressive thing either in his circumstances.
But I think that it is ludicrous for mikey – or anyone else – to suggest that working for civil rights (voluntarily, despite general public disapproval, and at some personal risk) is somehow inferior to going to fight in an unjust and immoral war that at the time (1966) was supported by most of the population.
John, you have so many straw men in your post, you must be getting crowded and a little itchy around the collar.
But I think that it is ludicrous for mikey – or anyone else – to suggest that working for civil rights (voluntarily, despite general public disapproval, and at some personal risk) is somehow inferior to going to fight in an unjust and immoral war that at the time (1966) was supported by most of the population.
I’m not so sure mikey actually suggested that.
Whether a soldier is drafted or volunteered (for whatever reason) never warrants condemnation from those who didn’t go.
Err… yes it does. Sorry, but if you do something voluntarily, then you take responsibility for it.
I’m not so sure mikey actually suggested that.
mikey’s words:
“Hmm. So this cracker asshole was 22 in ‘66, eh?
In South Carolina, huh?
Say. Isn’t that in AMERICA?
Hey Roger. Some of us, well, lets just say they found some other place for us to be around that time. And almost sixty fucking thousand came home in bags. You were busy, I understand, you had to write a novel and build up your own sense entitlement.”
Sounds pretty critical to me.
John, you completely missed the point.
Typical, you’re a boor. Or is it bore?
I second the fake TR. The OG TR is not nearly as uncool.
John, mikey didn’t say he was morally superior to civil rights workers for going to Vietnam. He was making the point that, while he was in Vietnam, Simon was doing some political tourism to create the massive sense of his own righteousness so amply on display in his “poem” about Obama.
So by placing random, nonsensical words in some sort of order makes it a poem?
Janus Node seems to think so.
Comprehendingly. No insanity,
no combination, your gold being
was full of girlfriend.
In the toppling snow
A foulmouthed cabinetmaker populates his rock
Until it is infantile.
Sinister on its mysterious trip;
my snake domesticates
onto a lovely classroom.
I’m not so sure mikey actually suggested that.
No, he did not. He went with Clif’s idea that Simon now talks a big game about his civil rights work in the South in ’66 but was in fact at the time more concerned about his own comfort (AC blows cold!) and career (“I wrote my first novel”). mikey was not commenting on the many others who busted their asses to help bust Jim Crow. Methinks.
“political tourism”? Classy. So he should have been doing some military tourism to develop his massive sense of self-righteousness instead?
mikey was not commenting on the many others who busted their asses to help bust Jim Crow. Methinks.
Thanks, J-. Methought that too, and you said it better than I could have.
John, I’m sick of arguing with you. Simon is a rich white guy who did some civil rights work and thinks this entitles him to deliver boring and false homilies on race and morality. Sort of like you, come to think of it (the boring and false homilies part, I mean)
Southern Beale, that reminds me of the top song on the fundie charts when I was coming up, from Carmen’s R.I.O.T. (Righteous Invasion of Truth) album. It was a history of how Satan had taken over our governement and calling for a massive uprising. Lyrics here
Or there was this one, repeated so often that I STILL can’t get the f’in lyrics out of my head:
Please don’t send me to Africa
I don’t think I got what it takes
I’m just a man, I’m not a Tarzaan
Don’t like lions, gorillas, or snakes
I’m doing fine in suburbia
In my comfortable middle-class liiiiiiiiife
So please don’t send me out into the bush
Where the natives are restless and wild
In the end God convinces him by sending a bunch of pots and pans to crash on his head. Christianists aren’t racist, no siree, and they just LOVE America, except the parts that they hate.
What really happened:
“Take it! Take it all! Just don’t kill me!”
Mikey is critical of Roger because of the way Roger seems to be inflating the importance his civil rights credentials in order to justify slamming Obama. It’s a useful criticism if one can assume that Roger was only performing that service in 1966 to gain credibility 41 years later. I have no trouble with that assumption.
But “almost sixty fucking thousand” body bags is a rather large and dramatic non sequitur in this argument.
On a more pressing note, what would the past perfect of methinks be—mehad thought, had methought, hadmethought?
what would the past perfect of methinks be—mehad thought, had methought, hadmethought?
I’d be very interested to know that too. IIRC “methinks” is a weird throwback to Old English, when the language was much more Germanic, though I could be very very wrong.
If not, though, the past perfect is probably something like “mehatgethinkt”.
Methunk.
your gold being was full of girlfriend.
This sounds like heaven.
Methunked?
Duros HUSSEIN 62’s poem was about 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better than Simon’s.
In fact, the collective poetry in this thread is better than anything Simon has ever written, air conditioned shack or not.
Err… yes it does. Sorry, but if you do something voluntarily, then you take responsibility for it.”
Thanks for confirming your one of those who blame the soldier for the war. I guess some of us don’t occupy your lily white tower of moral certitude nor breath the rarefied air of sanctimony. Down here at ground level the choice to serve your country is a little more complicated. As Lesley said there are all sorts of reasons people join–some patriotic, some practicality. I do think that people who chose to go to Canada or elsewhere gave up something valuable( their home) and don’t warrant condemnation but they hardly can claim moral impressiveness .
On a more pressing note, what would the past perfect of methinks be—mehad thought, had methought, hadmethought?
Verily, ’tis “me didst think”
I’m wondering what happened to his hand. Tragic paper cut incident? Frost-bite from sitting too close to the AC?
Make mythunk the methunk
I want mythunk uncut
Make mythunk the methunk
I wants to get thunked up
Hey, if a bunch of black people went south and did 300 years of unpaid work to help out white folk, would whitey have to stop his bitching about how unfair affirmative action is?
Uncut Thunk.
I’m wondering what happened to his hand. Tragic paper cut incident? Frost-bite from sitting too close to the AC?
Hey, I wanked my fingers to the BONE for those people!
Just to add my voice to the chorus–
Vietnam was an ill-conceived catastrophe that sucked the life out of a generation of Americans. Iselin is probably right when he says that if everybody Mikey’s age had been able to stay home and help old black folks vote in South Carolina, the country probably would be a better place.
On the other hand, it’s probably tough for an ex-soldier not to be resentful when somebody who sat out Vietnam spends his time inventing ridiculous justifications to vote for John “Bomb-Bomb-Bomb, Bomb-Bomb Iran” McCain.
Gary: cut your losses, privately take your foot out of your mouth, and lurk for a while. Anyone who’s been around here for a while knows perfectly well that nobility is the last thing Mikey would ascribe to war–but you’re casually insulting a vet’s courage, and that’s way out of line.
O/T
sayeth John Cole
Doesn’t alter the fact that the war was a waste of time, money and lives, and that the country would have been much better off with more civil rights activists and less troops in Vietnam. And it certainly doesn’t alter the fact that criticizing someone for working for civil rights instead of going to Vietnam – as mikey did – is a really dumb thing to do.
Wow. Don’t remember who said it first, but there is dense, and then there is event horizon dense.
You really don’t get the tenor of mikey’s post, do you? Is irony that lost within you? Mikey got shipped to VN, he didn’t want to go, and he saw a lot of shit that haunts him still. I honestly think his posting here is helpful for him and I don’t begrudge him that.
No where in any of his posts here does he pretend to be morally superior to anyone because the government saw fit to rip his soul apart. He is bitter about the experience as any right-thinking person would be. And so, perhaps he doesn’t see cause for Simon’s indignancy.
Or, shorter, STFU, John. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
You know it’s funny; ever since Barack’s speech, wingnut talk has no effect on me anymore. Whenever they talk, all I get is WAUH-Wauh- wauh like in the Peanuts cartoons.
Hey, if a bunch of black people went south and did 300 years of unpaid work to help out white folk, would whitey have to stop his bitching about how unfair affirmative action is?
I’m gonna go with yes.
Unobserved, an emiting forest
An exotic walrus perpetuates his thigh
So that it is delicate
What I want to know is….did Roger L. Simon and Michael ‘the Savage’ Weiner both blow Alan Ginsberg??
Dude. Ewww.
OK, I found out:
Simon is a credit to his race.
Sorry to come late to the party, and with such paltry offerings, but here goes:
Dick Swett
Never have I pulled harder for a politician than in his ’96 Senate run.
Ahem.
You’re stretching yourself pretty thin here, chum. For you to lump an erudite thoughtful individual like Mikey – who got caught up in a war that he (if I may be so bold to speak for him) regrets participating in – with the likes of Charles Taylor and Idi Amin, as if there’s not a world of difference between them, makes you profoundly assholish.
While I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the feelings of psychos and dictators, I do care about how they’re created, how they evolve, why they are who they are, so allow me to toss you another history lesson: the truth and reconciliation committee in South Africa. People who’ve endured great trauma need to talk about it, need to confront the people who’ve harmed them and need to find some way to come to terms with what’s happened to them.
I would suggest to you that if you’re incapable of extending a compassionate ear to someone like Mikey (who is not the enemy), then you’re profoundly lacking in compassion and courage. Mikey – God bless his soul – has had the courage to share with us his guilt and his pain. He harmed, yes, like all soldiers do, but he was deeply harmed. Harmed by his service, harmed by what was inflicted upon him. Jesus, man, have you not travelled at all?
Yes, because men (and women) in America are brought up to believe this is a solemn duty. That’s the duping and pressuring part I mentioned. See, if I had been a mother of a son who’d faced the draft back then, I would have helped him to escape. I would have pressured him to leave the country. But many moms and pops didn’t because they were raised to obey the directives of their leaders. Either you’re not remembering or you’re unfamiliar with the culture or you weren’t an adult back then. A lot of men felt compelled because they were told it was the right thing to do. Kinda like the wingers are yelling now that men and women have a duty to serve in Iraq.
Mikey would be the first to agree with you. Even more of a waste for him than for you…ya dig? Or are you a complete troglodyte?
Mikey’s politics seem pretty sound to me, and when we’re all on The Road I can only hope I run into the likes of him and not you. I have a hunch, given what he’s been through and how he’s evolved that he’d share a tin of food with me and help me survive. It takes a hell of a lot of strength to endure war and emerge with your heart intact. Shit, I’m a real cynic, and Mikey…he’s still willing to give humanity a chance.
I’m comfortable with Mikey. Even though he may have killed, witnessed killing, I’m comfortable with him because of what he’s made of himself, who he’s become. You on the other hand, scare me. You’re lacking some depth, fella.
Shorter Simon:
Whaa.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Simon is a credit to his race.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to have learned any important lessons of a lasting nature from the experience. He is, as Tom Tomorrow put it, a “Yoosta Bee.”
Bravo, Lesley–so very well said!
Just wondering what John Iselin’s bonafides are. Serve in the military, John? Spend any time working in poor communities? Hmm?
btw, those of you who’d elevate Roger Simon above Mikey merely because Roger didn’t serve in Vietnam, shouldn’t you be questioning why Simon is now a rightwing nutjob writing for PJ media?
His participation in the civil rights movement has long been cancelled out by his conversion to screaming harpy wingnut idiot “kill all the muslims” don’t you think?
Lame…I know but I welcome any revisions
those of you who’d elevate Roger Simon above Mikey
Les, there ain’t no “those”, there’s only one, the troll John guy.
It is almost as if the right-wing has thrown their collective minds under the bus
I always wondered where that expression came from. Was it like a Sistah Souljah moment, only much much worse?
Unobserved, an emiting forest
An exotic walrus perpetuates his thigh
So that it is delicate
Sexist walrus since Wilford Brimley.
few North Americans have experienced tangible hell..war death destruction, torture, bombing, the massive loss of life. We’ve got very little experience of it. When we see it on the teevee we balk and avert our eyes. When the men we send to war come home, we don’t really want to deal with them.
People who have (with the exception of the McCains who are mentally messed up from their experiences and didn’t receive the tending to they needed) tend to want to prevent war, violence, and suffering. People who have the courage and compassion (truth, reconciliation) to embrace the suffererers – soldiers and their victims alike – also want to prevent war.
Then you have the simpletons like Simon (I believe there’s a poem dedicated to such a person) who haven’t really got a clue and come out swinging for revenge and retaliation 40 years later after an event like 9/11 because what made them shallow then makes them shallow today.
Either you’re conscious or you’re not.
No doubt this will need to be repeated several times before certain commenters will get it:
Pedestrian = win!
Sorry if this is late but I had to go…
You voluntarily slammed mikey (and tens of thousands of others) for going to Nam but you made no distinction as to volunteer status.
So you take responsibility for acting as excess human baggage?
I’m curious how old this John Iselin is? (I’ll stand corrected but his tone smacks me of someone who managed to get a ‘deferment’ on some dubious grounds)
That said John, if forced to choose, I’d that mikey ‘have my back’ any day rather than constantly worry whether you’re going to stick a knife in it.
Les, there ain’t no “those”, there’s only one, the troll John guy.
This troll guy reminds me of the tens of thousands who publicly sneered, derided and rejected the vets when they returned from Vietnam. This had the effect of isolating men like Mikey and even guys like McCain. I remember this because I was a part of it (Canada side). Since then I’ve learned a few things, about that particular war, about war in general, about the impact of war on the people who are involved in it. I’ve learned from refugees and vets. My ex who didn’t serve was made to feel ashamed for deserting and felt shame because all of his friends who served came back crazed, one way or another. He lost some of these friends to suicide, drugs, alcohol.
I just want to do my part to nip the attitude – displayed by this thoughtless gent – in the bud. It pisses me off that he might have driven Mikey away from this safe place today. This is Mikey’s safe place…mess with that and you’re toast. That’s all I’m saying – like the rest of you too. Even if it’s only one troll, let it be a warning to others.
Oh, mikey will be back. Don’t worry about that. My guess is that it’s lunchtime. That said, the nipping in the bud is a Good Thing.
heh, i know he will be and I don’t want to suggest he’d let careless remarks get to him. it’s a ‘just in case’ measure.
mikey can believe in humanity. I think I’ll always be of the opinion that, clever as we are, we largely suck as a species just because we’re so rough and tough and meanish. That goes for me too.
Btw, a shrink I once “knew” said soemthing I thought was quite profound. He told me – when I didn’t have the courage to face my own past – to remember I wouldn’t actually have to live through it again. I just had to have the courage to sit down and hold the hand of the girl who endured. Often, when I’m in the midst of some cause or other and think I can’t bear to witness any more pain (not my pain, but the pain of others) I try and remember that it’s easier for me and harder for them. I’m not going through it. Not dying, not bleeding, not being beaten. Surely I can find it within myself to absorb that which makes me uncomfortable, makes me cry, softens me up. Interesting how we humans protect ourselves, isn’t it?
I think you might have overreacted a bit in response to the criticism of Mikey, Lesley.
Wow. Just wow.
I’m speechless. I’m honored. I’m humbled. And I’m grateful.
I also feel really, really good about the world tonight.
Thanks. I hope I can find a way to live up to your kindness and your faith.
Promises mean everything
When you’re little
And the world’s so big
I just can’t understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
–Art Alexakis, Everclear
mikey
Foreigner, you’re right, I did. But I’m ok with my overreaction in this instance.
tontocal
Lame…I know but I welcome any revisions
No, no. That plays.
Lesley said,
March 20, 2008 at 0:02
Some white people have delicate sensibilities. I’d replace the ball cap on Simon with a frilly bonnet, doll him up in some fine velvet curtain material held up by a curtain rod, and stick him in front of a burning southern mansion.
You made me do it. It’s not my fault, really.
Oh, Cissy, what am I going to do?
Thanks. I hope I can find a way to live up to your kindness and your faith.
You already have, brother.
j and zxcv and Lesley on mikey — and mikey himself: me too. A bit late, but me too. mikey’s one of my main inspirations these days.