Shorter Michelle Malkin
Posted on February 27th, 2008 by Brad
- The Washington Times’ unwillingness to dehumanize immigrants proves that they’re just another far-left Old Media rag.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Gavin adds: If ol’ Malkin keeps positioning herself to the right of everything, her eyes are going to start migrating to the side of her head, like a flounder.
The preferred term for print is “illegal terrorist-toned disease-carrier”
“Non-speaking illegal” is also appropriate, if the “person” does not speak fluent English, or simply “illegal”, as in, “the illegals are destroying our country”.
Can we not just blow her the fuck up? Isn’t there some penalty for massive, persistent and ongoing crimes against humanity, logic, sense, the English language, truth, justice and the American way? This woman and her ilk may be personally responsible for the collapse of at least our culture, and she’s got a shot at the demise of humanity.
Conservatives are in hell and Malkin is their handbasket.
It’s things like this that make you really wish Satan existed so we’d have someone other than humans to blame.
…or simply “illegal”, as in, “the illegals are destroying our country”.
God, that usage irritates me, and it’s distressingly widespread. I heard my dad using it, and he’s no wingnut – he’s an old-fashioned liberal leaning slightly Eisenhower Republican. He watches cable news, though, so I suppose there’s no avoiding the term there.
My coworker, normally a fairly liberal fellow, was saying he’d watched the debate and was upset that Hillary didn’t answer Russert’s question on what she’d do if “Al-Quaeda came back”
My point being, people are really, really, really stupid.
One of the commenters seems to have an ideological objection to a publication having a style guide:
Just like Orwell’s 1984. The Washington Slimes is telling their writers how to think, write, & cite.
OMG!!!! Censorship!!
Kate Turabian is a fascist.
What happened to “swarthy hordes”? Have the PC police stopped Good Patriot American Conservatives from using that term too?
I thought the wingnuts were for the free market. We can’t have government intervene and tell businesses whom to hire, right?
Sorry, wingnuts but you can’t have it both ways.
Are her papers in order? Really, she needs rendition.
If I may, I’d like to impose some censorship myself. Can we please have an injunction against use of the verb “spew” ?
Checkout this exchange:
From perversely sane commenter Rusty:
But Jim M. can’t resist:
“Just a thought” (…because he’s always thinking about men having anal sex) Here Jim M. accidentally betrays the heart and soul of anti-gay bigotry: an unhealthy obsession with sex lives of others.
When you hear jokes like this or references to “the lifestyle” you know it means one thing: These people go bonkers over teh butt sex.
They think everyone after Kipling is too PC. How they long for the day of the Raj, when white men ruled the earth and everyone else knew their place. Everyone would acknowledge their superiority and they wouldn’t have to do a thing but stand there, looking white.
These people go bonkers over teh butt sex.
Only because they can’t get any.
If ol’ Malkin keeps positioning herself to the right of everything, her eyes are going to start migrating to the side of her head, like a flounder.
That’s good shooting, soldier.
Her viewpoints fit right in there with Stormfront.org.
That’s quite unfair. I’m quite sure that if they knew Kipling and much of his work, they would find him, too, far to kindly to the vermin out whom they wish to stamp.
OT – William F. Buckley died this morning.
I just noticed something. I clicked over to her “About”page and saw a pretty recent photo with her bio.
Michelle has been married to Jesse for quite awhile now,right?
I don’t recall ever seeing her wear a wedding ring.
(Not that this means that much,I didn’t have one for a long time because the hubby and I were seriously poor and we were saving for a house. He bought me my rings for our anniversary a few years after we got married. I never really cared about the rings that much at the time,the house meant more,which is why it came first)
But I thought conservatives were all about values and traditions and the like. And surely,with all that big syndicated newspaper money she has,they could at least afford simple ,tasteful, gold bands if nothing else. They aren’t that expensive.
I just find it odd. She’s happily married but you never see her with her husband(but often see her in the company of other wingnut men),she doesn’t really mention her husband very often,or ever,and she wears no wedding ring. That doesn’t really seem to work with the whole happy,hetero,wingnut married thing.
Just Sayin’.
OT – William F. Buckley died this morning.
Shutter your windows and keep the garlic handy.
Her viewpoints fit right in there with Stormfront.org.
a weather blog?
She’s happily married but you never see her with her husband(but often see her in the company of other wingnut men),she doesn’t really mention her husband very often,or ever,and she wears no wedding ring.
Hint.
But I thought conservatives were all about values and traditions and the like. And surely,with all that big syndicated newspaper money she has,they could at least afford simple ,tasteful, gold bands if nothing else. They aren’t that expensive.
Well, it’s all about personal responsibility, isn’t it? They didn’t have the strength of character to wait until they were able to afford wedding rings. I expect that they were also unable to afford dependent health care insurance. As everyone knows, if a couple gets married, it’s for the purposes of procreation. Having made the personal choice to get married, there was every possibility that Michelle and Jesse would have proper heterosexual sex and produce offspring, which would require health insurance. If they can’t even afford wedding rings, how can they be so irresponsible as to get married? They simply need to accept the consequences of their actions.
Trying again.
The Washington Times has pulled the scare quotes from the term gay marriage. Is there nothing that can stop The Great Gay?
Susan,you are delightfully e-vile. I like that in a person.
No! Nothing can stop the the Coming of the Great Gay. All conservatives can dream of is being forced to kneel before the Great Gay and having it shoved down their throats! And the Coming of the Great Gay!
If ol’ Malkin keeps positioning herself to the right of everything, her eyes are going to start migrating to the side of her head, like a flounder.
Photoshop, por favor?
God help me, I almost feel sorry for wingnuts these days. They’re besieged on all sides by teh Librul. Much of it imaginary, sure, but a lot of it is real. A population that has steadily grown more liberal over the past 20 years (per polling), and that’s not even counting the coming generation of young people who mostly take things like tolerance for granted, and don’t see much wrong with The Great Gay.
What must it feel like to be a wingnut and have the world closing in on you like that? Oh wait, it’s how I’ve felt for most of the past 25 years. On second thought, fuck ’em.
Y’know, I notice that Malkin’s skin tone is darker than my Hispanic wife’s. Any chance of getting the mouth-breathers to agitate for sending Malkin to Mexico? ‘Cause, it’s like, all about the skin color or something.
If ol’ Malkin keeps positioning herself to the right of everything, her eyes are going to start migrating to the side of her head, like a flounder.
I’m with Scott. That line is just begging for a photoshop.
Any chance of getting the mouth-breathers to agitate for sending Malkin to Mexico?
Doesn’t Mexico have enough problems? Besides, I’d rather see her here, where she can raise her kids to hate her because she’s not white.
I shudder to think of the traffic we give Michelle when we roundly mock her. I’ll bet her site meter has to adjust upwards on Sadly days.
Does the left have an anti-/equivalent of Malkin?
I thought this post at Michelle’s crib was a joke, but then had second thoughts after repeated spelling errors.
On February 26th, 2008 at 5:53 pm, CarpiJugulum said:
When will the politically correct intellectual morons quit bastardiseing the English language?
Gay = one who is happy and joyful, of either sex. All were gay with Christmas cheer.
The proper term is HOMOSEXUAL
Homosexual is one who has made the CHOICE to have sexual experiances with members of the same sex.
Same sex marriage = two of homosexual tendancies that prefere to shack up together, and remain in a monogamous relationship with a person of the same sex.
Ok they are right it is not Illegal Alien. The proper term is criminal/invader/or ILLEGAL PERSON OF OTHER THEN UNITED STATES ORIGION.
Oh, indeed CarpiJugulum. Indeedly do. Wow!
If Michelle Malkin didn’t exist, Sadly, No would have to create her.
This is all about the First Amendment. Let’s not follow the gov’t down the path of censorship. After all, censorship is becoming America’s favorite past-time. The US gov’t (and their corporate friends), already detain protesters, ban books like “America Deceived” from Amazon and Wikipedia, shut down Imus and fire 21-year tenured, BYU physics professor Steven Jones because he proved explosives, thermite in particular, took down the WTC buildings. Free Speech forever (even for nutjob Malkin).
Last link (before Google Books caves to pressure and drops the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0
Does the left have an anti-/equivalent of Malkin?
Man, if we do, I’d hope he or she shuts the fuck up soon. I wouldn’t want someone this willfully ignorant and hateful speaking for me. That Malkin and her ilk aren’t repudiated as hate mongers by the mythical “good, real conservatives”, that they aren’t the ones trying to drive these embarrasments off the public field, speaks volumes to me.
Like a flounder?
Judging by the picture y’all show, Ms. Malkin is starting to look like a fish. Maybe she’s just fish-eyed?
I used to have a Siamese cat who crossed his eyes with that sense of concentration, each time he used the litter-box…
This comment is turning into one of RB’s JanusNode productions.
I used to have a Siamese cat who crossed his eyes with that sense of concentration, each time he used the litter-box…
This comment is turning into one of RB’s JanusNode productions.
Into the death-pet module you go!
My kitty has this excellent sense of shame after litter-box use and shoots out of there like a rocket.
I’ll bet *she* doesn’t demand to stay in her litter box for a hundred years after she uses it.
Judging by the picture y’all show, Ms. Malkin is starting to look like a fish.
Mrs. Malkin on the left. Mrs. Malkin on Fox News on the right.
Litter boxes? You can has toilet using cat.
Litter boxes? You can has toilet using cat.
Do not want.
Some friends of mine had the patience to try the method out but their toilet became messier than was desirable.
Dear Les (and everyone else)
As a non-European/non-American/non-Asian/non-African person (work it out for yourself – and no, I don’t come from Antarctica) – you’ll be pleased to know that nobody in the rest of the world knows who Michelle Malkin is. Indeed, I think that if it were not for this fine blog, , I wouldn’t know who Michelle Malkin is. On balance, I think we should blame Sadly No for whatever profile MM has – but since that’s zero, that’s not much blame.
Once – or perhaps even twice – I have looked at the Washington Times – and if MM sees that they are not sufficiently PC (from her viewpoint) then we should conclude that we are living in the end times of american conservatism. William Buckley also recently died, I understand.
However, keep your stakes at the ready!!
SoT is right about the blowfish connection (the fish, not the cipher).
I suggest that future appearances of “malkinunhinged1.jpg” should be captioned “Skin and liver contain tetrodotoxin”.
I just can’t wait until Michelle puts on her little cheerleader outfit again.
Nothing turns on right wing men faster than a waif with the figure of a 12 year old boy.
I really should have recut that cheerleading video so that she spells SOROS. In fact I think I will.
you’ll be pleased to know that nobody in the rest of the world knows who Michelle Malkin is.
Dude, she has a regular opinion column with a major syndicate. She makes regular appearances on numerous programs on a major news network, watched but an unfortunately significant part of the population. She’s had books published and promoted by major publishers. She’s a fairly major player on the wingnut circuit. Just ’cause you don’t know don’t mean it ain’t so.
And even considering the vast majority of people who see Malkin or Coulter or Beck or Goldberg or whichever right-wing goober on Fox Mit Friends, they’re still hearing that immigrants are trying to turn America into a Taco Bell, radical Islamofacists are hiding under your bed TO DESTROY YOU, and scary people want to have butt sex with you and your children. Over and over and over and over, in the bank, at the doctor’s office, in the newspaper above “Doonesbury”, over the radio while you’re trying to avoid hearing the goddamn Eagles singing goddamn “Desperado” on the radio. Then this bile drips down to the Howard Sterns and Don Imi and morning moron shock jocks and the barrel-bottom of stand-up that is the Dane Cook/Carlos Mencina double Satanic deal. I mean, for real, them fuckers ain’t funny at all, and it worries me to no end to see people laughing at them.
Sorry. Anyhow, Michelle Malkin is a hate monger. Fortunately, she’s a hate monger who doesn’t have an army, so the very least we can do is waggle our butts at her every chance we get.
Most of Malkin’s “screen saleability” seems to be based on her attractiveness to the vast pullulating masses of young single male fReichtards. Just as their handlers discourage boy-band members from being photographed with their real-world lovers, Malkin’s handlers don’t want to keep reminding her TV fanclub that she’s married (and a mommy). There’s also the persistent rumor that Jesse is responsible for at least the more inflammatory hate-based contents of Michelle’s writing — that she is a professional Sock Puppet for a
slightly derangedless photogenic hatemonger. Since the idea of a white male mastermind as Svengali of a pliant young Asian ‘babe’ is catnip to a certain sort of mentality, this rumor seems to be quite as prevalent among Malkin’s fellow-travellers as in the reality-based community, which would make a whole PhD thesis in anthropology, or abnormal psych…My kitty has this excellent sense of shame after litter-box use and shoots out of there like a rocket.
I have a dog like that, but she’s not down with the litterbox thing. Still, once she’s done doing her business outside, she practically runs back to the house.
Now that I think of it, Malkin seems to do the opposite when it comes to her poop-scented ramblings, doesn’t she?
I’m surprised her forehead isn’t permanently bruised, with crossed eyes like that, I bet she bumps into a lot of things.
And unlike Monica Goodling, she does not have nice big tits
Did your mother refuse to breast-feed you?
The closest eqivalent to Malkin on “the left” is Al Sharpton. The Rev.
And I have no idea which one I would vote for, if it ever came to that.
It would depend on the category.
Bunkmate on luxury cruise: Malkin
Take care of my cat for a few days: Sharpton
Listen to on the radio: Sharpton
Watch on TV (sound off): Malkin
Watch on TV (sound on): Sharpton
Lawnguylander, that Doodle cat is cute, but the toilet paper bit is priceless. I can imagine coming home to find the entire back part of the house swathed in toilet paper, with one weary-looking kitty asleep in the middle.
For anyone who wants to train their cats to use the toilet, try the Litter Kwitter. It looks groovy, and I’d try it except that I’ve got two with quite divergent habits: Qetesh (Abyssinian, fast mover, quite fussy. Rises at dawn and goes about her duties kind of cat) goes in and out promptly, and chooses the floor if the litter’s not clean. Luschka (Burmese, very lazy, cup of coffee and cigarette at 11-ish kind of cat) starts low but the botty goes up as she, err, proceeds. So as often as not the wall gets sprayed as well. Then she rockets out of the tray, straight down the hall and onto the bed: it’s the only time she moves faster than a saunter, ever.
But I must say I’m kind of tempted: the thought of never again having to empty the litter tray is quite appealing.
Malkin? Not so much. Although my kitties would like her if she tasted like flounder.
moondancer: Are her papers in order? Really, she needs rendition.
Really moondancer, you are a shit. Haven’t you a heart? Haven’t you a heart at all? Why do you think Michelle Maglalang babbles so compulsively so senselessly? She’s mortally terrified of rendition. After all she is Abu Sabaya’s third cousin.
She’s a slight and rather attractive young brown woman. Imagine the monstrous nightmares awaiting her in a soundproof interrogation room should she ever get snagged by the U.S. Terror Administration’s reckless wide and indiscriminate “anti-terrorist” net. Imagine the red-eyed psychopaths unto which our government’s men would deliver her, bound and mouth taped.
Let her shout the Administration’s line. Let her babble and spout, for Christ’s sake. Let her make her cynical bid for official “mercy”. I’m God damn glad I’m white.
After reading the the comments above, I now realize democracy as we know it is doomed. The fascist liberal hordes (see J. Goldberg) will soon put the final nail in the coffin of what was once America.
Very nice site!