All part of Hussein X’s master plan, my friend

Atrios writes:

If Obama is the candidate, he’ll get to denounce the actions of every black person in the country.

Indeed, for this is all part of Hussein X’s grand plan to lull the white devils into a sense of false security. Remember Bill Clinton’s Sister Souljah moment? Well, Barack’s going to need to have a trillion-bajillion of those before he can convince white people that he does not, in fact, plan to kill them all. And once he accomplishes this, the foolish white people will be all like, “Oooooooh, he’s such a good black guy like Bill Cosby! Why, I bet he’d even tell those Negro delinquents I see standing on street corners to pull their pants up! And, and, and can’t you just see Obama on one of those Jello pudding pops ads! “My fellow Americans… in this time of war, you can comfort yourselves with Jello pudding pops… it’s frozen pudding on a stick!” Tee-hee-hee, non-threatening black people are so funny!”

And then, the day after the election, POW! in comes Defense Secretary Mumia and Secretary of State Louis Farrakhan. Oh, it will be a glorious day when white people realize the tragic blunder they made by unwittingly placing their necks under the boot of Sharia Law! Allahu akbar indeed, you honky-ass chumps!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

UPDATE: I think I’ve found him the perfect campaign song:

In all seriousness, this song does totally rule.

UPDATE II: Meet your future National Security Advisor, America:

White people, consider yourselves screwed.

 

Comments: 43

 
 
 

I thought that was Shania Law. The boots of Shania Law have 4″ stacked heels and are really, really cute!

 
 

It’ll be Putney Swope at 1600 Pennsylvania.

 
 

The boots of Shania Law have 4? stacked heels and are really, really cute!

Better hide them from McArdle…quick!

 
 

Fat Albert for Surgeon General?

 
 

I want President Obama to send Bob Perry to Iraq to build houses.

 
 

Does this also mean that McCain has to denounce the KKK, the Neo-Nazis, the Aryan Nations, the Christian Identity Movement, the Militia Movement, and all the rest of the rightwing white supremecist groups individually, by name, in a public speech?

 
 

Why, I bet he’d even tell those Negro delinquents I see standing on street corners to pull their pants up!

I know this is satire and all, but that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

 
 

McArdle? I’d worry more about Althouse. She’s been on a bender lately. Formidable law bloggers know how fascinating it is for us little people to see them trying to jam their hooves into something three sizes too small.

Ýou don’t take pictures of Althouse, you take portraits!

 
 

Pedestrian, you need to warn a person. The comments have a slight air of foot fetishism in them.

Trooper York said…
It does look like you got the blond hair toss thing down though. If you can pick up the black tigh high boots with the stilleto heels,
next stop, Whitesnake video.

7:21 PM
Ann Althouse said…
Alan: Yes!

7:27 PM
Alan said…
I thought you were going to review them? Or did I miss the review? My bet is you never wear them.

7:37 PM
Ann Althouse said…
Yeah, I should wear them some time and review them. I’m a busy person…. That’s not much of an excuse…

They are just so strange. It would be embarrassing to wear them anywhere.

 
 

Why, I bet he’d even tell those Negro delinquents I see standing on street corners to pull their pants up!

I know this is satire and all, but that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

Just as soon as those honky business sharks loosen their neckties.

 
 

Susan, I’m just hoping that she doesn’t take the camera when she goes to try on new bathing suits. Fisheye lens!

 
 

I wonder if Althouse went to OttoTootsie Plouhound?

 
 

Okay, guys, it’s all fun and games over here, but you just made Gary and Boo-Saul wet themselves.

 
 

Gahhh, some days reading all the comments just doesn’t pay. Susan, I need a new bottle of brain bleach for that. AA in dominatrix boots? eeeeeeee—-eeewwwww.

 
 

I, for one, would like to welcome our Negro overlords.

 
 

It does look like you got the blond hair toss thing down though. If you can pick up the black tigh high boots with the stilleto heels,
next stop, Whitesnake video.

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her ass
On the hood of Whitesnake’s car

Please stop the visuals.

 
 

Speaking Althouse, Tbogg has a fun Althouse post up this morning.

Priorities

 
samuel l. jackson
 

YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!

 
A Wingnuts Worst Nightmare
 

Every broke motherfucker finna form a gang and when we come we takin’ everythang.

 
 

I got an idea: how ’bout Obama get Wayne Brady to campaign for him?

“Vote Obama — yeah, sure Farakhan ‘endorsed’ him, but so did Wayne Brady … so how frightening could he be, really?”

 
 

Welcome to the Terrordome is a work of art but it’s marred by the “so called chosen frozen” business which by the way, Obama has yet to condemn. I want Obama to go on the Daily Show or Colbert and in his most serious tone set out to preemptively denounce every crime ever committed and every foolish remark ever uttered by any black American. Cut to commercial while he’s repudiating Joanne Chesimard and come back to him apologizing for Urkel.

 
 

Feh. You kids today, what with your hippity-hop and your pick and roll.

 
 

Does this also mean that McCain has to denounce the KKK, the Neo-Nazis, the Aryan Nations, the Christian Identity Movement, the Militia Movement, and all the rest of the rightwing white supremecist groups individually, by name, in a public speech?

Denounce the foundations of american conservatism? The keepers of traditional values? The protectors of all that’s good and righteous from the non-white, non-christian, islamohomemexilibrulfascocommie hordes? Are you insane?

 
 

I keep hearing the song Garrett Morris sang on Saturday Night Live lo these many years ago:

I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see,
I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
When I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won’t bother me,
I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.

I think it would make a great campaign song…

 
 

Feh. You kids today, what with your hippity-hop and your pick and roll.

Word.

How many times can you say “Yo” in three minutes anyway?
/getoffamylawn

 
 

Sha na na law?

 
 

I second the total ass-kickedness of that song, and in fact the entire output of that era of Public Enemy.

It’s ass-kickery is close enough to objective fact, that it should establish a baseline for scientific measurements of same.

 
 

It’s unfair to ask Obama to apologize for Urkel. No apology could ever make up for Urkel.

 
 

Dolemite = AWESOME. Count how many times you see the mike!

 
 

So I went to see Dolemite, looking forward to a wholesome family movie about skiing and mountaineering in the Italian Alps. Imagine my disappointment.

 
 

How many times can you say “Yo” in three minutes anyway?

Act like ya know.

 
 

Speaking of Dolemite, anyone ever heard the song “Dolemite” by the old SF garage-punk band, the Rip Offs?

It’s a barn fuckin burner.

http://www.chunklet.com/index.cfm?section=blogs&ID=240&mode=comments

Oh yeah, and Bill Ayers is like the worst person evah!

 
 

Yes, I hear that you denounce Bill Ayers — but do you reject him?

 
 

Ahem.

Your search – “repudiate Bill Ayers” – did not match any documents.

!!!!!!11!!!!!LINE OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 
 

Not only do I reject him, I also exorcise him….. or something….

 
 

Will replace Secret Service with Fruit of Islam…

 
 

Looking at that video clip I see we’ve come a long way as a nation!

Think about how much better we are making sure microphones don’t show up on the screen.

 
 

[…] we’re going back in the crates a bit to a longer time resident on the roll; Sadly, No!  I simply couldn’t resist the urge to link to Obama’s administration as a blacksploitatio…. (Snark alert, sarcasm alert, and Chuck D rippin’ up a mic […]

 
 

too bad ODB died, hed be a good secretary of something.

 
 

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