So the first one is the real one? Seriously?

I thought girls thought teh ghey was hot.

Even if you could figure out what Mary Tyler Muir was trying to say, I can guarantee you that it won’t be the least bit (a) interesting, (b) important or (c) amusing.

The remix, on the other had, will provide Miss Chris with hours if not days of furious fapping fodder. Expect to see the strip mysteriously “suspended” for the next week or so.

Ok, I’m just going to go ahead and say it:

What the Fuck?

I don’t even get the first one? What the F is the twitch and sproing??? This Muir cat is bizarre, and not in a good David Lynch way.

Is that her elbow talking?

I think the third panel needs some of Chris Muir’s patented “baby suckling” sounds…

Panel one: Twitch!

Panel two: “What?” “Sproing!”

Panel three: (girl in black bra) “I did not have sexual relations with that man, Mr. McCain. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time – never. These allegations are false.”

The third panel of the remix, that is.

Panel Three: (Guy on left) I guess there’s a little man-love in us all.

That was me, unsurprisingly.

Twitch. Sproing.

Man, that’s some unfocused stupid, right there.

Does he write this thing with a hat full of refrigerator magnets?

mikey

I think the original has something to do with vodka shits.

OK, plz help.

I want to understand the joke.
The woman is on the couch. Something either twitches or makes a twitching noise. Apparently it’s either coming from behind the couch, or inside the couch mattress.

Then she stands up and looks either at the couch or behind it. Something in that vicinity either says SPROING! or makes a SPROINGing noise, which I understand means that it gets an erection.

Then she makes a reference to a liquor ad and Special Ed, and observes that there’s a little captain in all of us.

Where is the “little captain”…? Was it a miniature Ed hiding in the couch mattress, whose erection startled her off the couch? Was it the couch itself, anthropomorphizing to Special Ed, who is wont to discuss his erections on his blog? Was somebody hiding behind the couch?

I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. HELP.

The black guy in the last panel should be saying, “Check Out Captain Ed’s New Place @ Malkin’s Hot Air.”

Muir is syndicated, right?

Given that, who among Day By Day’s syndicated audience gives a shit where Special Ed will be blogging from now on?

Sorry, baby. You know what they say about black guys.

Girl: This was totally not part of my fantasy.

Nim, you’ve actually helped ME out quite a bit. I missed the sproing/erection connection, and totally sailed below the, er, “captain” reference to the sweet, sweet rum. I’m still confused, but this smooths out a couple of wrinkles.

@Nim –

I dont get it either. It looks like her elbow twitches, with a sort of spidey-sense (ed-sense?) and then the “SPROING” in the second pannel is the sound she makes jumping up off the couch. (well, I think it’s a couch. “teal swirly blob” is just too cumbersome to type.) Then it looks like she starts doing some sort of jig in the third pannel. I figure she must be posessed.

Muir is syndicated, right?

Not anymore. He gave it up a while back because, surprise, surprise, no one much wanted to carry the strip.

“Honey, we’ve been doing this “sex” thing all wrong. He’s here to help us”

Count me as another who just doesn’t get it. What twitched? What sproinged?

The closest thing I could figure was that her stomach rumbled (“twitch”) she gave a huge fart that propelled her (“sproing”) up off the chair (and, incidentally, shoved chair and plants entirely off frame by the third panel, not to mention bleaching the bottom of her pants and ousting her shoe). That would be the little captain in her being released, since he is now officially hot air (the fart).

The woman in question is the strip’s one liberal. She’s been sitting on that couch for a week or so now, opining about how totes awesome Obama is. I’m guessing she got posessed by the wingnut spirit (twitch) and bounced up (sproing). Then the wingnut spirit morphed into Special Ed, who inhibited her insides to make her assume the Captain pose and tell you about Ed’s move. I’m assuming the next strip will deal with why we should care.

I think you may be on to something fruity.

She may be twitching and jumping around without any conscious control. The joke may be that she’s been possessed by the spirit of Special Ed just a little bit – enough to make her get up and move around. Just like Ed is doing! Because his blog is moving!

That might make sense. But it seems to suggest that Ed is a malcontent who can’t sit still, or that he’s moving involuntarily.

I don’t know. It makes me confused and angry.

Think of the ad campaign for a certain crappy rum mass-produced by Diageo.

Oh. In the first panel she has a book. So the black thing in the middle of the “couch” in the second panel is the book after she drops it? Why does the couch look entirely different in the two frames?

3rd panel caption: “Couldn’t you at least be gay with someone who doesn’t look like Obama?”

“Then the wingnut spirit morphed into Special Ed, who inhibited her insides to make her assume the Captain pose and tell you about Ed’s move”

EUREKA.

I didn’t realize that was the Captain Morgan pose. That’s the Rosetta Stone to unlocking this dementia. At least it was the shitty artwork that made it obtuse.

So, I think that’s it. Her body uncontrollably twitches and sproings her off the couch (despite the common usage of the term on the internets, no erections are involved). Then she involuntarily assumes the Captain Morgan pose, I guess, and delivers the “punch line” from the ad.

OK. I think that’s it.

I buy in to Molly’s explanation. It’s the simplest one so far.

That’s a book?!?!?!?!

Revised edition, third panel:

“Let me put my little captain in you.”

The other part of the problem is that isn’t how Captain Fucking Morgan stands. He’s not facing left and standing akimbo. He’s looking forward-right, with one hand on his knee and the other on a sword.

If you want people to get your dumb fucking joke, at least google “captain morgan” first, before drawing his pose from memory.

Why do all his drawings of women look like chicks from Bon Jovi videos with bad boob jobs? Why isn’t she wearing a shirt? Isn’t she cold?

Plus, even with all the above attempts at explanations, I still have no clue what the twitch-sproing-rum ad connection is supposed to be.

I feel so inadequate.

Third panel should read:

THE MEN KISS! IT IS TO FUNNY FOREVER!

This is Muir–her ass is twitching, sproinging into the Cpt. Morgan pose. In the commercial, drinking Cpt. Morgan rum makes people spontaneously copy the pose of the pirate on the label of the rum.

Sorry, was just a little surprised there. After a moment’s reflection and examination, I think I’ve figured it out:

The woman is sitting and, I guess, reading on a pile of old, moldy* cinnamon buns which she has cleverly molded into some sort of chair (remember, she is the artsy-fartsy ‘liberal’ of the strip). Captain “Special” Ed sneaks behind the chair and with a quick twitch, uses one of his tentacles to insert a sperm packet into the woman’s insemination tube.

Yes, Ed has tenatacles. Why do you think his photos never show his arms?

Anyway, back to our story: The woman jumps up and exclaims, “What?!” in surprise while Ed uses the springs in his feet to bounce away to safety. He probably agrees that she looks something like a praying mantis, especially around the arms, and he doesn’t want her to bite off his head.

Yes, Ed has springs in his feet. Where have you been?

Finally, the woman realizes that she is the receptacle of Special Ed’s sperm packet and performs the ritual song and dance to express her joy. She will probably not remove Ed’s sperm packet, although a more dominant male might reach into her insemination tube with his tentacle and remove it in favor of his own at some later time.

Now, for the remix… Hmmmmm….

*Why else are they green?

Muir is syndicated, right? … Not anymore. He gave it up a while back…

Cool! That makes my day just a bit brighter.

What is the target audience for this incoherent wankery?

Horny borderline retarded right-wing paint thinner huffers?

“What is the target audience for this incoherent wankery?

Horny borderline retarded right-wing paint thinner huffers?”

I think you knew the answer to that before you asked it.

What happened to the couch/chair? Did it fall over (drunk perhaps)? Or is she balancing on it in the third panel, explaining her weird posture?

Shorter Chris Muir: fap fap fap.

Mr. Muir’s fine strip is enjoyed nationwide by true patriotic conservative Americans who, unlike liberals, just happen to enjoy looking at attractive women.

“This is Muir–her ass is twitching, sproinging into the Cpt. Morgan pose. In the commercial, drinking Cpt. Morgan rum makes people spontaneously copy the pose of the pirate on the label of the rum.”

Apart from the twitch coming from her elbow and/or the mattress, the sproing not coming from her ass either (and being slang for “OMG boner!!”), the woman not drinking rum, and standing in a position that isn’t how the captain stands, even though some actors in commercials do it that way…it makes perfect sense.

Maybe she’s discovering she’s pregnant. That’s the source of the twitch. That’s the so-called “little captain” “in” her. Or, she knew she was, and now she’s feeling the stirrings.

Funny? Don’t ask.

Who are cartoons.

#

witty1 said,

February 26, 2008 at 20:00

Sorry, baby. You know what they say about black guys.

Girl: This was totally not part of my fantasy.

Winner.

Naturally, the third panel should read … “yes honey, I’m fucking Ben Affleck.”

Why does it not surprize me that the mutant tit monster that Muir passes off as a ‘woman’ turns you on, Gare-Bear?

…the mutant tit monster that Muir passes off as a ‘woman’ turns you on, Gare-Bear?

Oy – lemme get this straight. Gare-Bear is saying, though I can’t see it for the pie, that he’s hawt for that Muir-womanoid?

Gary – go to Google and do an image search on “Rule 34”. That ought to keep you busy for awhile.

witty1 said,

February 26, 2008 at 20:00

Sorry, baby. You know what they say about black guys.

Girl: This was totally not part of my fantasy.

Winner.

Much obliged, sir, as Bubs would say.

Muir is teh-psyched, because now that Captain Special Ed is part of the Hot Air syndicate, literally dozens and dozens of people will now be able to read Day by Day.

Blue Buddha said,
February 26, 2008 at 20:36
Shorter Chris Muir: fap fap fap.

That pretty much covers all of it, doesn’t it? Figuratively, I mean…

t4toby, Please don’t call Ruppert a bear again. He ain’t no bear. I’m considering it to be a personal insult. Ugh.

MrWonderful said,

February 26, 2008 at 20:39

Maybe she’s discovering she’s pregnant. That’s the source of the twitch. That’s the so-called “little captain” “in” her. Or, she knew she was, and now she’s feeling the stirrings.

Funny? Don’t ask.

I get it now. Captain Ed knocked her up.

Muir is teh-psyched, because now that Captain Special Ed is part of the Hot Air syndicate, literally dozens and dozens of people will now be able to read Day by Day.

So Muir piggy-backs on Cap’n Crunch’s new welfare state? How does that work?

Sorry, gbear.

I didn’t mean it as an affront to all that is Bear-y.

Please forgive me.

What is the target audience for this incoherent wankery?

Horny borderline retarded right-wing paint thinner huffers?

I.e., Gary Ruppert.

Apology accepted t4t. There are some bears that aren’t cool, but ‘bear’ shouldn’t be thrown out as an insult.

Feel free to tear a ‘Snuggle’ bear limb from limb anytime though.

Third panel:

“Malkin has the Captain, but I’ve got the seaman.”

do an image search on “Rule 34?.

SFU- No you didn’t!

“Gary – go to Google and do an image search on “Rule 34?. That ought to keep you busy for awhile.”

Rule 1, man.

Rule 1. =\

I guess there is a dark little closet in every Republican’s background…

“Don’t ask … ”
“Don’t tell …”

Well, we’ve all got a little Captain Ed in us.

Except me; I have a restraining order. [rimshot]

//stolen joke

So…the couch got a hard on? Because…Captain Ed is blogging for Malkin?
And that made her think of…rum?

The old Nancy cartoons made me want to claw my eyes out like that.

Panel 1. The discreetly hidden Captain unzips his pants: twitch!

Panel 2. A few vigorous moments pass and Spoing!
Panel 3. This is a typo – it should read “Guess there’s a little Captain on all of us.”

Last panel:

Sob! I think I could have held onto him if I had only worn more revealing outfits around the house! Maybe pasties and a thong!

“Naturally, the third panel should read … ‘yes honey, I’m fucking Ben Affleck.'”

Gee, thanks. I had just gotten that song out of my head.

Let’s ask Huey indeed.

every time I see that crap I think I should start my web comic back up again. if I set my standards down to just 25% above of his level I’d be able to crank out a dozen strips per week.

Just for the record, Mr. Bear, I didn’t mean it as an insult, I was trying to patronize Gary with a cute little nickname.

But I digress…

My suggestion for the last panel: ‘I’ll take Current Events for $200’.

Muir’s version didn’t make sense, why does our version have to?

Another option: ‘No time for the old in-and-out, luv, I’ve just come to read the meter’.

s’OK t4toby. Peace. I was being fake righteously indignant.

‘Cabbages….knickers….it hasn’t got a proper beak!’

I was being fake righteously indignant.

Fake righteousness is so off-putting.

I’m your captain, I’m your captain,
Although I’m feeling mighty sick.

I didn’t mean it as an affront to all that is righteous-y.

Please forgive me.

Wait. Is the point just that Cap’n Bloggity-Malkin is so wonderfully persuasive that even the resident liberal-pinko-fascist appreciates his work and feels the need to plug his new job?

In the reworked version:

First panel: “rustle”
Second panel: “what…?” SPROING!
Third panel: “Do NOT start singing Muskrat Love. I heard enough of that last night.”

That’s a book?!?!?!?!

Remember Doodle Bean, the strip is written for goopers. They don’t read often enough to have a good idea of what a real book looks like.

I think Chris needs more rum – or maybe I do – or burbon, gin, vodka something that would let this make the slightest bit of sense –

I guess there’s a little caption that doesn’t make any sense to any of us.

Since DbyD is run at the Captain’s site, this woman-thing could actually *Feel* it when he moved to Hot Air. Maybe the hot air made her float in the last panel?

I gotta show it some more:
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg205/fozzetti/ed-morrisseycopy.jpg

I don’t understand wingnuts. You’d think that the K-Lo’s and Noonans and Bozells, who are constantly freaking out at the moral turpitude that is Hollywood, would strenuously object to half-naked bimbettes sprawling about in their sainted comic strips. Mallard Fillmore never has any wanton women, does it?

It suddenly occured to me to see if the Captain himself could shed some light.

Ummm, no.

But I was interested in this little exchange:

“Q. Can’t we just cross-post to Captain’s Quarters?

“As you might imagine, I would have loved to keep CapQ going. However, the idea here is to help build the Hot Air blog, and it makes sense to redirect the traffic from CapQ. I’ll keep the archives live permanently.”

Does this mean Malkin ain’t doing so well on her own?

There’s still time to suggest “Muir Syndrome” for the DSM V.

I see lots of possible explanations for the twitch, sproing and inevitable insemination by the rummy captain but…why the hell did liberal woman who hangs about the house in underwear (like every liberal woman I know…you poor poor conservatives) suddenly turn into Mr. Bill in Panel 2?

Panel 4 of the SN remix, deemed too teh h0t for TV, features the return of Ilsa She-Wolf, with a very long whip.

White Guy: Nice shooting, lover.

Black Guy: Thanks, I’ve been practising.

Chick: I said not in the eyes, asshole!!

Chick: I said not in the eyes, asshole!!

Win.

Is it just me or is that chair/couch look like something that was abandoned by the side of the road?

SFU- No you didn’t!

I didn’t – do the search myself, that is. It might be much worse or much less icky than I imagine it. I run in some geeky circles on the ‘net so I’ve seen enough Rule 34 stuff to make me want to disable image display on my browser forever.

That “malkin’s got the captain, but I’ve got the seaman” line really brightened my day.

I also enjoyed that line where Gary tried to prove his masculinity by stating his sexual attraction to cartoons.

Captain “Special” Ed sneaks behind the chair and with a quick twitch, uses one of his tentacles to insert a sperm packet into the woman’s insemination tube.

That’s no arm, baby, that’s a hectocotylus!

So, wait, either Michelle Malkin has Captain Ed in her or the cartoon liberal woman does. Either way, that’s an image I’m gonna end up describing to my court-appointed shrink.

First panel: “It’s coming…”

Second panel: Girl> “What the…?” Behind the chair> “…from inside the house!”

Third panel: Girl> “Fuck. Now, he’s a film critic.”

I’d like to come up with a clever caption of my own, but that would entail taking a good long look at a Day by Day cartoon, and I need my optic nerves for future endeavors. I’m freeing up my delegates to vote for Twisted_Colour.

Seriously, that is epic suck. The talking elbow also gazes into YOU

Sorry for the derail, but did anyone see the equally inexplicable:

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2008/02/21/

???

Spoing?

I assume you’re kidding.

What happened to the twins? They on a hanger in the closet? These two are fairly cavalier about a life changing event.

I get it!
I get it!

An invisible hand (the author) is moving her furniture to the new site! At Hot Air. (what is he captain of, anyhow?)

White Gay Dude: Biological clock, McArdle?
Black Gay Dude: We were a plant.

or

Black Gay Dude: Who’s watching the twins?
White Gay Dude: They have cancer.

well, when I think of a nice drunken rum buzz, I do not think of “Captain” Ed. so Chris and I are at opposite minds.

but it is telling that he uses his white liberal character as the puppet.

Imagine that scene with either of the dudes.

porndog, see here:
Shorter Chris Muir

guise,

Rules #1 and #2 only apply to raids.

“I should have known when you told me you were a Republican!”

Panel 1: The Twitch is from the chair, which is somehow becoming alive.
Panel 2: The Sproing is the chair ejecting the lady, who drops her book.
Panel 3: I have no idea. Why is the lady raising her leg with her foot just floating in the air?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER LEFT LEG

1940 s fashion….

Men’s fashion. Fashion earring. Fashion design colleges. 1920 s fashion. Fashion models. Fashion games for girls. Fashion. Fashion bug….