Dec
3
3
Day By Day Remix Contest
We have entered Week Three of The Day By Day Breastfeeding Singularity. Today’s original strip is here.
Clearly it needed improving, but after two panels (see below) it seemed as though the story had arced to a place of natural fulfillment.
…Or had it? What could the third panel be?
Update: The only thing is that the new dialogue has to fit in the bubble, like this one by OTB:
Or this one by Candy:
It doesn’t have to be that concise, but believe me, once you start constructing new idiosyncratic Chris Muir speech bubbles (the weird, awkward curves must be just so), the charm of the work starts to clatter straight downhill.
OTB said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:36
“It’s okay, he’s an alcoholic.”
Leonard Pierce said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:41
“I really shouldn’t leave the Play-Doh and bacon out.”
Rufus said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:41
Him: I gotta say, our girls are cute.
Her: Sigh. Before we know it, they’ll grow up, meet boys..
Him: Uh…
Her: What?
Him: I wasn’t talking about the babies.
Candy said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:41
“Anyone know a good attorney?”
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:45
“With a wanker and two suckers in the family we’re almost ready to set up our own right-wing blog.”
Candy said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:48
“With a wanker and two suckers in the family we’re almost ready to set up our own right-wing blog.”
Early in the game yet, but SamFromUtah is gonna be hard to beat.
Hoosier X said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:50
“Do you have to run off and watch the TV every time Commander Codpiece makes a speech?”
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:50
“At least while they’re sucking, I don’t have to”
Twisted_Colour said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:51
thup, thup, thup, thup, fap, thup, thup, thup
“I wish Jeff Goldstein would stop doing that.”
Hoosier X said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:51
Must agree.
Maybe Saul or Kevin or Gary, with their copious experience at both wanking and sucking, can come up with something competitive.
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:52
“Maybe I should warn him that the breast pump isn’t for him”
MrWonderful said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:53
“Wait ’til he finds out they’re not ‘our.’”
Amlodhi said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:54
“Once he does that into the towels, they’re never soft again.”
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:56
“There he goes, off to the stalls again”
Amlodhi said,
December 3, 2007 at 22:58
“Maybe the Second Amendment isn’t such a good idea”
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:00
“I really wish that that plant would stop staring at us”
Dan Someone said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:02
“Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to let him sign them up with Baby Models USA.”
Arky - Cthulusexual said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:03
[Sigh] Why did I marry a “Dutch Oven” addict?
whetstone said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:03
“OMG THEY HAVEN’T MOVED IN THREE DAYS!!!”
(it breaks the narrative flow, but someone had to point it out. by next week’s cartoons they’re going to way 40 pounds and slosh.)
Ferris said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:08
Him: I gotta say, our girls are cute.
Her: Sigh. Before we know it, they’ll grow up, meet boys..
Him: Uh…
Her: What the fuck?
Her: I gotta get that tatoo of K-Lo’s face wire brushed from his palm.
Cangrejero said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:10
“When you’re done crying can you clean that up? The court-appointed social worker isn’t buying the ’spit-up’ story anymore.”
Kathleen said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:13
‘Burma Shave!”
whack said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:14
“Could you please stop wanking in front of the girls, you asshole?”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:16
Yessiree, when I was in the hospital with the newborn I was thinking about who she would fuck. That Muir needs help.
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:17
“Please let me die”
Doctorb Science said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:20
“Also, abolish the death tax!”
Candy said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:24
“Sadly, many women find themselves in tragic situations like these. If you are one, please call your state DHS abuse hotline 1-800-BOO-THIM ext. OUT. This has been a public service announcement.”
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:27
“Now I know what Hillary feels like”
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:28
“At least he’s not a homo.”
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:29
‘Burma Shave!”
Kathleen - I LOLed. Woo.
Syndicalist said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:29
My sweet girls, you’re in for a HELL of a purity ball!
mikey said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:30
“Oh well. Anything that causes him to leave the dog alone…”
mikey
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:31
I CAN HAZ DVORCE NOW?
Walter said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:33
Moran was right. Clif IS a pedophile!
(What? Too much inside baseball?)
Big Kahuna Burger said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:34
“I wonder if Dr. Rosenwhatever will dig up this little nugget in 22 years.”
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:36
“coming, and going, and going, and coming…. and always too soon.”
pedestrian said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:36
“I should have married Rush Limbaugh”
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:37
What Psychic Fern in the window?
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:38
With any luck, they’ll turn out gay.
albany layman said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:38
Third panel: Here’s a nice big softball for ya, S,N!
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:40
Yeah, well if you had done that more often, I wouldn’t be in this ‘permanent gas pump’ position.
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:40
“Yeah, but he’s MY pervert.”
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:42
Ever get the feeling that you know EXACTLY how Lorena Bobbitt felt?
Huffy Henry said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:42
No it’s not the healthiest lullaby, but for fuck’s sake I haven’t slept in a week.
tufdaawg said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:43
“he’s not bad, he’s just drawn that way!”
Nimrod Gently said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:44
…oh God I found the actual punchline quite funny. Am I going to die?
Arky - Cthulusexual said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:45
The stain’s getting bigger.
SenderC said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:45
“He’s a poet-warrior in the classic sense.”
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:46
…oh God I found the actual punchline quite funny. Am I going to die?
I don’t think so. If the original there had been the only Day By Day strip I’d ever seen, I’d have a much higher opinion of the comic.
Cangrejero said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:47
“It’s Baptism time!”
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:50
Sorry. Like Pilgrim at S,N!, he apparently goes for quantity, not quality.
billy pilgrim said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:51
I wonder if I can get a permanent guest position on the Dysfunctional Family Circus?
Jeopardude said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:53
“He just inflated a third breast”
Mister DNA said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:55
“Mission Accomplished!”
Halloween Jack said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:55
If I had a hand free, I’d geld him with my fingernails.
Kelly said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:55
Preemptive abortion.
SamFromUtah said,
December 3, 2007 at 23:56
“This is all Bill Clinton’s fault.”
pedestrian said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:01
“I’m pretty!”
Hoosier X said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:05
“Mallard Fillmore! Take me away!”
Hemlock for Gadflies said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:07
Felafel again? Hospital food….
MzNicky said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:19
“Shoulda nipped that bud nine months ago.”
christian h. said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:20
“Bring me scissors!”
Gary Ruppert said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:22
The fact is, pre-emptive abortion is nothing like pre-emptive war. The baby is a human being from conception. Those who hate us and threaten us have no excuse and should be killed if we can by any means necessary. God has said this is OK in the Bible.
SamFromUtah said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:24
“I like pie!”
MobiusKlein said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:25
Breastfeeding twins is not as easy as it looks in the comic either. If one kid loses it’s grip, you don’t have a free hand to move them back into position. Trust me, it’s difficult.
SamFromUtah said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:25
But I have to admit I copied that from Gary.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:27
If one kid loses it’s grip
What, another Republican voter?
pedestrian said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:36
Oddly, Gary is right. According to the Bible:
Pre-emptive abortion: bad.
Preemptive war (and genocide!) is good.
So what are ya wankin around here for Gary? Go kill some Ay-rabs!
Kathleen said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:39
Gary Ruppert said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:22
Excellent Fake Gary!!
Hoosier X said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:47
“The fact is … I married a Repug asshole.”
Clem said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:49
“Window palm is watching you masturbate.”
thedarkbackward said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:51
Him: I gotta say, our girls are cute.
Her: Sigh. Before we know it, they’ll grow up, meet boys..
Her: You know what to do.
Her: It’s pretty much the only way I can get him to “go downtown”.
Devil Panda said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:51
“Its okay, he’s republican.”
Syndicalist said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:52
“The women’s shelter will call back any minute.”
Ferris said,
December 4, 2007 at 0:59
Why is he wacking off to a Bruce Tinsley Police photo?
J— said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:06
Third panel: “Hospital gowns, open at the back.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:11
“I can forgive anything in a Republican with a narrow stance.”
Smut Clyde said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:23
“Window palm is watching you masturbate.”
Oh, a window palm. I was seeing the silhouette as a gaggle of curious flamingos. Or whatever the collective term might be.
goat or panic said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:31
“Vitter keeps stealing the diaper genie.”
Obscure, I know…..
Harry Cheddar said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:39
“This isn’t bad. He showed up for the delivery with two dildos and a wetsuit.”
Ryan said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:41
“…meet boys, have unsafe abortions, host dogfights…”
(As you can see, I’m going with the DbD “discontinuity of thought” paradigm. The second panel, although of critical importance to parody, has no bearing on meaning, and may even obscure any possibility of meaning; so with that out of the way, our new mother, with knees still raised, can continue divining.)
goat or panic said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:42
“thup, thup, thup, thup, fap, thup, thup, thup”
“I swapped his lube with battery acid.
Was that wrong?”
Ryan said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:42
Eh. This one’s easily better than my first:
“I farted.”
stryx said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:52
“…thinking about High School aged football players has always had that effect on him”
goat or panic said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:00
“Oh my God, I married my father.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:00
“It’s funny because it’s true.”
Rufus said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:08
“He’s hoping for incestuous lesbians.”
D. Aristophanes said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:10
The Kleenex, dear. Not the drapes.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:12
“All infants look like Winston Churchill.”
Mo's Bike Shop said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:26
“Big Tent Party”
J— said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:28
“Techno Viking’s on the TV.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:35
“Better here than the men’s room and be out twenty bucks.”
J— said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:38
“I’m wearing his favorite lipstick.”
J— said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:45
Here she is in labor, for anyone who might be interested.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:02
It’s only OK so long as he cleans up after himself.
Hysterical Woman said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:11
“I hate it when he uses his teleporting powers.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:15
“Baby batter.”
Gary Poptart said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:26
“I wish I was dead.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:28
“Wasn’t 9/11 awful?”
Harry Cheddar said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:34
What’s the deal with the chick’s hair? Looks like someone hit the taco bell then snapped a grogan on her head.
Marco Fiorito said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:41
“”Someone bring me a cup.”
pedestrian said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:56
I believe that it is just called a “stand”
However, these people think that it is also called a “flamboyance” and I am inclined to believe them, especially considering these two.
Smut Clyde said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:15
That collectives website suggests “a confusion [or gang] of weasels”. The compilers probably have BDS.
KnaveRupe said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:19
Panel 3:
“Fer Chrissakes, Muir, can I PLEEASE put my tits away?!”
pedestrian said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:39
I kinda hope that someday they posthumously release all of Muir’s unpublished drawings. You know, like Lewis Carroll’s uncensored Alice sketches.
I’ll bet he’d give the old pedophile a run for his money in the perversion dept.
Grace Nearing said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:49
“It’s okay.
He’s not the father.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:57
“It’s better to live than to perceive.”
Kathleen said,
December 4, 2007 at 5:07
“More drugs, please.”
MzNicky said,
December 4, 2007 at 5:12
I vote for Grace Nearing’s (at 4:49).
Disgruntled Goat said,
December 4, 2007 at 5:15
Who knew they made a Baby Polanski video?
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 4, 2007 at 5:21
You know, I can’t help but thinking the strip should run as follows:
Panel 1:
Him: I gotta say, our girls are cute.
Her: Sigh. Before we know it, they’ll grow up, meet boys..
Panel 2:
Her: Stop gnawing on my @$!^&* nipples like rabid sharpeis.
Panel 3:
Her: He really likes sharpeis.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 4, 2007 at 5:43
“He’s not having sex with them, he’s having sex at them.”
Amanda Marcotte said,
December 4, 2007 at 6:05
My recaptions of yesterday’s and today’s.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 4, 2007 at 6:38
After following the link to Pandagon, I have reached a startling conclusion that I must share with you all:
Despite the efforts of the finest snark masters in the Interverse, this comic strip is not now, has never been, and will not ever be funny.
It sucks harder than the booby leeches that have latched onto that woman. It’s like it has some Teflon coating that repels humor. No, it emits a haze of anti-funny that annihilates any funny that comes with in the 50 kilometer kill zone. In fact, it is inaccurate to call it a “comic strip” because the word “comic” does not belong within 50 yards of this twee piece of dreck.
Sorry, I just thought you should know.
Ruthie said,
December 4, 2007 at 6:59
“Quit looking at me like that! You might think you’d never seen a pair of TITS!”
billy pilgrim said,
December 4, 2007 at 7:31
the poop holds the tent wher it is.
GNU-STRUMPET said,
December 4, 2007 at 11:57
“Mom warned me not to marry a lefty.”
norbizness said,
December 4, 2007 at 16:59
While not strictly adhering to the rules, in that I did my shitty MS Paint job before knowing this post existed, here’s the whole scene re-imagined as a Paul Verhoeven movie (click on ‘all sizes’ to enlarge).
J— said,
December 4, 2007 at 17:42
“He does that when he’s nervous.”
or
“Shooting seeds is a pastime activity.” [Apologies to System of a Down]
Five of Diamonds said,
December 4, 2007 at 17:51
Panel 3: “He’s not the real father.”
Five of Diamonds said,
December 4, 2007 at 17:57
Arrgh! Grace Nearing beat me to it:
December 4, 2007 at 4:49
“It’s okay.
He’s not the father.”
SamFromUtah said,
December 4, 2007 at 21:17
Arrgh! Grace Nearing beat me to it:
Yes, but it was worth seeing again.
When do we see the winner? Grace Nearing has my vote.
Runner-up, SenderC’s “He’s a poet-warrior in the classic sense.”
stringonastick said,
December 4, 2007 at 22:41
Personally, I enjoy the fact that the original caption has this guy contemplating a future where he must murder countless boy children; happy, happy, joy, joy. I am beside myself at the lightheartedness of such a punchline.
Funny how the solution to every wingnut-perceived problem involves killing, and lots of it.
Smut Clyde said,
December 4, 2007 at 23:59
the original caption has this guy contemplating a future where he must murder countless boy children
Be fair; he is merely following a biblical precedent.
Sadly, No! » Intermission said,
December 5, 2007 at 4:36
[...] I’m hella-busy doing other projects tonight (and must soon rejoin the Day By Day remix contest), I have time right now to post the words to the Andy Griffith Show theme, which goes like [...]
a different brad said,
December 5, 2007 at 4:51
Hmmmm.
“I know babies don’t breastfeed 24 hours a day, but how else am I gonna keep him off me?”
Not concise enough.
edub said,
December 5, 2007 at 5:39
“This give post-partum depression a totally new meaning”
edub said,
December 5, 2007 at 5:42
One more:
“Thank god we hired a doula”
Michael Harrington said,
December 5, 2007 at 8:15
“We’re hoping to get picked up by Heavy Metal.”
maxomai said,
December 5, 2007 at 9:27
1) He’s thinking about his guns again.
2) He’s thinking about killing teenage boys again.
2a) Keep the original comic but add the Fwap noises. Makes for a more subtle version of (2).
javaphil said,
December 5, 2007 at 16:16
“I knew I shouldn’t have married a ‘nice guy’”
tigrismus said,
December 5, 2007 at 16:36
The profit motive: “These are actually Cabbage Patch dolls, I sold the girls to white slavers. Tee hee!”
The purity motive: “At least I won’t have to lie back and think of Jesus for a while.”
True Republican motive: “Wow, having two girls suck my boobs is HOT! I’d better get a law passed against it!”
What Tinsley would write: “Now I’m outraged by Chappaquiddick!”
Sadly, No! » From Behind Teh Doorframe said,
December 12, 2007 at 22:54
[...] So which entries won the Day By Day Remix Contest? [...]
Jamey said,
December 13, 2007 at 1:23
Today’s DBD strip is just plain, bug-fuck mind-rapery. “Wipeout.”
And my caption: “As long as we can maintain a 2-1 ratio of suckers to wankers, there will always be a rightist blogosphere.”
StonyPillow said,
December 13, 2007 at 3:36
SenderC first (“He’s a poet-warrior in the classic sense”), Grace Nearing a very close second.
Kip W said,
December 15, 2007 at 4:59
“We’re naming them ‘Prush’ & ‘Blue.’”