The Terroristic Cheeseburger Of Doom

The bizarre Wing Nut crusade against Subway restaurants continues today and Susan Jones, Morning Editor for CNSNews, brings us this late-breaking story:

More Anti-American Images Found at German Subway Stores

Picture this: a gigantic cheeseburger (with tomatoes and lettuce) slamming into two high-rise buildings, as cartoon characters run from the flaming ruins.

I think perhaps it’s the tomatoes and lettuce that put it over the top. And correct me if I?m wrong but doesn?t the gigantic terroristic cheeseburger seem to be slamming into more than just two high-rises?

Subway’s hateful anti-American imagery

It’s clearly a takeoff on the 9/11 terror attacks on the World Trade Center, and according to the Virginia-based Center for Individual Freedom, the illustration appears on page 18 of a 30-page “food diary” distributed by Subway sandwich shops in Germany.

Yes, clearly. But then what branding agency wouldn’t realize the benefit of tying its product to 9/11? The only surprise here is that more major corporations haven?t tried this approach already.

Thank God for the brave patriots at CIF or we?d already be seeing suicide bomb tacos and box cutter-shaped pizza slices covering our nation?s billboards.

The Center says complaints from Americans prompted German Subway shops to pull the tray-liners. But the cheeseburger-crashing-into-buildings image apparently is still out there — distributed in German subway stores over the past few days.

Fresh rumors are already beginning to circulate that Mohammed Atta?s real reason for visiting Prague was not so much to meet with the Iraqi Counsel as it was a sinister layover on his way to a German Subway restaurant.

The new image shows that Subway’s advertising is “far more disturbing and anti-American than previously thought,” the Center for Individual Freedom said in a press release.

You?ve really got to wonder about the depth of those previous thoughts.

The cheeseburger image is found in a Subway “food diary” that encourages Germans to track their food consumption for 30 days. The diary is “replete with anti-American images,” the Center said.

Anti-American images like demonstrations of healthy food consumption, I?m guessing.

After I wrote yesterday?s Subway piece (and after I read some of the great comments), it struck me that the Wing Nuts had achieved a strange paradox here. They?re attempting to defend free enterprise by attacking, well, free enterprise.

I believe the Nuts are driven by two motivating factors here. Factor A is the obvious publicity they?ll get from their ridiculous grandstanding. The patriots over at CIF are truly basking in it at the moment. But it?s Factor B, I think, that is far more insidious. Subway?s real sin has nothing to do with any anti-American imagery. It?s the fact that they?re openly questioning the health of Americans and the effects of their fast food choices. And once you pose a threat to the giant American conglomerates that control so much of our culture and economy, you make yourself a very large target. Put these two factors together and you have the makings of a Wing Nut wet dream.

“Based on this new material, distributed for days in Subway’s German stores, the Center for Individual Freedom demands that Subway apologize to American consumers immediately. If it fails to make amends for this transgression, its [sic] risks once again feeling the wrath of angry consumers across our nation,” the Center for Individual Freedom said.

Based on this new material, distributed for days in the Wing Nut media, I demand that the Center for Individual Freedom immediately apologize to Americans for telling the world that poor health and corporate greed are the only values that are truly patriotic. If the CIF fails to make amends for this transgression, it [no sic] risks once again feeling the combined mockery of Sadly, No! and The Dark Window.

The Center said it intends to continue drawing attention to Subway’s “tasteless anti-American marketing scheme in the coming days.”

Of this I have absolutely no doubt. And as long as these morons keep shrieking about Subway being anti-American, we’ll be there to point and laugh.


Comments: 19


Fucking brilliant!


Oh, ferfucksakes…are these the same shitwits who scour Disney movies for hidden pornographic images? If a cartoon image like that hurts your hypersensitive feelings, just swallow a bottle of sleeping pills now. You’re too delicate for this world.

I guess any image, in any context, of buildings being destroyed should be banned. Might trigger unhappy flashbacks.

One Dirk from Frankfurt

Are youe sure this isn’t one of the most sophisticated guerilla-marketing stunts ever?

I had never even heard of “Subway”-Sandwiches… until i read your piece of July 29.

My first thought: What an utterly bizarre and sad story.
My second thought: Hmm, i love junk-food of any description, but especially sandwiches… maybe i should give this Subway-place a try.

So i looked up “Subway” on that interweb-thingy, and lo!, and behold! there are 2 Subway-franchises in Frankfurt/Main.

Result: even though the bread is a little too soft for my taste – the sandwiches are great. Definitely not the last “Roasted Chicken” they’ve sold me.

Thank you, Tom DeLay, for the great tip!


Seems a mite strange that the “Center for Individual Freedom” goes around trying to suppress free speech. But have you noticed that “Jared,” the name of the previous Subway spokesman, sounds kinda Islamic? Probably an al Qaeda member. I hear his full name is “Jared Saleem abu Mohammad.”


As I watched “Godzilla” the other night, I noticed that the monster stomped on some highrises that were obviously representations of the Twin Towers!!! They were clearly mocking 9/11!!!!
Plus, it was implied that American atomic bombs had created this monster. Why is Japan allowed to make movies that bash America this way?


Do German Subways serve bier like McDonald’s does?


S.Z. mentions “Godzilla.” Isn’t it obvious that that’s what this image is a takeoff on — the classic monster bashing through buildings while terrified city-dwellers flee?

(Was that Godzilla or some other monster?)

This image has nothing to do with 9/11.


Oh, the lies come at you from a million ways,
Some you hear and some you tell yourself.
And they say that virtue is a pile of gold,
And that weapons are a nation’s wealth.
But the light of heaven is a simple gift,
You can see it if you make that choice.
It will shine like riches in your inmost heart,
And it will speak in a still, small voice.

… from “Still, Small Voice,” copyright ? Bob Franke (Telephone Pole Music, I think)



I’m hungry now. This is what I get for reading Sadly, No! when my boss is gone at lunch time. I think I’m gonna go to Subway.


Subway rocks! I can’t believe these idiot wing-nuts are getting so worked up about FAST-FOOD ADVERTISING! No wonder the Euros hate us. We Amis are assholes!!!


Germany is the fourth fatest country after ourselves, Britian and australia.
So subway is just trying to help them from being like us.
They should publish those ads here.
But everytime i’m in europe, all those europeans talk about is how fat we are.
well what can you say?


“Amis”–is that really an offensive term about Americans? I’d like to hear some more derogatory terms for Americans, please.


rube, the actor Richard E. Grant was once on a film shoot in L.A. where he and his fellow-Britons were snidely referred to as “Teabags”. Said “Teabags” retaliated with “Hotdogs” for the Americans, which led to a typical digression at this point in Grant’s memoir about obesity in the US population.

This was written in the 1990s. Obesity rates have gone up since, both in the USA and the UK.

One Dirk from Frankfurt

@ rube, re.: “Amis”

Not an easy question to answer…

I’m pretty sure that once (like after WWII) it actually was a derogatory term for americans (i.e. “was ment as” and “was understood as”).

Today… i’m not so sure. It is very common in the german language, but also definitely “slang”. No “major” german media of whatever political leaning would ever use the term “Amis” without “quotes”…and even then… no, you don’t read it in Germany (the Bild-Zeitung will use it in sports). But you do hear it quite a lot.

However (being german) i’m quite confident that (from whatever sentiment it originated) today “Ami” (or pl.: “Amis”) isn’t as much a derogatory term, as more of a colloquial shortening of “Amerikaner” (from which the term “Amis” originated anyway, whatever the connotation).

[German plural is often built by adding an “-s”, but not always: “Amis” is already wrong, since “ein Amerikaner” (sing.) is actually the same in plural (“mehrere (many) Amerikaner”, not “Amerikaners”)).]

Lazy speech, jargon, dialect… really.

For example, when a Britisher calls a German “Jerry” – now there you have tons of WWII-connotation. But when a german refers to americans as “Amis”… In most of the cases i’d say it’s *not* derogatory but just slang or sloppy language.

BUT (and that brings us to part 2 of your post): it actually CAN (still, today) be derogatory. And when an opinionated german (right- or left-wing) really wants to speak bad of americans: he/she will surely use (for want of a better word, see below) the term “Amis”.

For the life of me i can’t think of any other (current) derogatory terms for americans in german (and that’s not because i have lived such an protected life).

Sure, there are a lot of these around… “Froschfresser” (frog-eaters) for the french, “K?sk?ppe” (cheese-heads) for the Dutch, but for americans… I admit I am stumped.

The reason for this lack of derogatory terms is (in my opinion) quite easy to explain:

There is nothing bad the “Amis” (the american people or populace) can defined by, that the german (people or populace) aren’t already indulging in (you may call this the triumph of globalisation, if you like that word):

“Fetts?cke” (Lard-Asses)? Thank you, we’ve got far more than our share of those, too. “Benzinschlucker” (Gas-Guzzlers) (i made that one up)? Well, so are we. “FOX-Brainwashed-Brownskirts”? Ah – now there we’d actually be closing the circle and coming back to german history…. but i made that one up, too, and there really is no german equivalent (to FOX) (yet).

That’s why (i think) there aren’t too many derogatory terms in german for americans: “we” are (have become) far too much like “you” to actually find a difference to pound on.

On the other hand… i lived in england for a couple of years and (obviously) felt that jabs at “Ze Gerrmans” (commonplace meme in the UK-press when nothing else goes) were somehow dircted at me personally (while still realizing, that, of course, they were not – it’s a game brits mostly play for themselves). My brit-friends mostly didn’t even notice.

So i’d really be interested how, say, Seb (or any other expat) in germany *experiences* “the german sentiment towards americans”.


P.S.: I’ve read a lot of what’s being posted at “Davids Medienkritik”… i suspect them to be total flakes, mostly… but who am i to judge their impressions… sometimes i can actually understand (reproduce, comprehend) their paranoia…

P.P.S.: @ “merl”: No, no beer AFAIR (but this was a takeaway only).

One Dirk from Frankfurt


i saw this over at Wonkettes’s …and what did i read on the red sign (at first glance):


Your sordid fixation on Amber Pawlik definitely is more contagious than “mono”.

I’m sick of you!
Or me.


“Sylvia Selbert of Prokino, the company that created the tray liners, said the Amsterdam headquarters of Subway got approval for the tray liner design from Subway headquarters in the United States.”

Why does America hate America?

The Dark Avenger

An American friend of mine, blond but no bimbo, was in a German supermarket, and because of her misinterpreted behavior was labled a stupid………..

(drum roll)


Thank you, I’ll be in the Blue Room at the Fairmont all next week.


I think they should have those tray liners and booklets here in America! Maybe the wingnuts would all choke to death in their indignant rage! HURRRAH for Subway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SZ, Steve M — check out the Godzilla riff on the burger-terrorism at the warcheerleaders site (http://warcheerleaders dot tripod dot com)

Great site, BTW! Glad there is someone else out there calling out these harebrains.


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