If I Were A Fisherman, Ya Ha Deedle Deedle . . .
You have probably spent most of 2007 wondering what it takes to become the “Editor” of America’s Shittiest Website™ a/k/a National Review Online. Well, you have to be a really, really good writer and write sentences like this one which started off K-Lo’s latest column:
If I were the editor of Time magazine, instead of Vladimir Putin, I’d have three men on the famous year-ending issue.
Even if K-Lo might mistake herself for Vladimir Putin, it’s a good bet that no one else does. Or maybe K-Lo thinks that Putin edits Time.
(Note: I know this post is lame. Consider it an emergency post. I dropped by the Sadly, No! editorial offices on my way to a New Year’s Eve party and the place was deserted, the voice mail box was full, and the only sign of life was that somebody had recently left some wilted lettuce leaves in the sink. With any luck, somebody else will drop by later and post something more substantial.)
Happy New Year, Clif!
And to all you Sadly, No!sians out there.
Is that the picture on the year-ending issue of Time?
I don’t know, but the picture on the left is a sign that the end-times are nigh.
I’m cool with this post.
“When Mitt Romney appeared on Meet the Press a week before Christmas, there wasn’t even five minutes of an hour-long program devoted to Iraq.”
Ironic, that someone from the “all our media are liberal and therefore evil” contingent would make such a devastating critique of a major bobble-head program, without even understanding that she has done so.
Happy New Year to the entire S,N! magisterium, whatever that means.
Thanks and totally excellent wishes to the main guys ‘n’ gals, the commenters, and the lurkers. To everyone except the you-know-whats, who know who (and what) they are.
Here’s to trenchant discussions, big laffs, the shooting of fish in barrels, and the continued decimation of the liars, scumbags, hypocrites, cretins, and all the other excrescences of the right, without whom none of this would be necessary.
“the only sign off life was that somebody had recently left some wilted lettuce leaves in the sink.”
Does that mean you’re signing off on life, or is it a sign that you’re having an off life?
Sadly, No!sians out there.
SadlyNose or Sadlynaughts is better.
Tara: “sign off life” is know correctted. Now I now that I two could be the Editer of America”s Shittiest Website™
Shut up and never say anything again as long as you live.
The cosine of life is out drinking, so she has not yet registered her complaint.
Happy 2008!
Right on, daddy-o… but when you’re talking about the excrescences of the right, don’t forget the jackasses, goofballs, clods, louts, soulless hacks, gutless wonders, cheeto-stained cheesedicks, political zombies, sniveling shits, buffoons, goons, maroons, crypto-fascists, neo-fascists, jonah-fascists, turdbiters, nosepickers, pantysniffers, shriekers, babblers, droolers, and all-purpose losers. Each has done their bit to make American politics the deranged carnival it is today.
She has ambitions to have three men on top of a magazine and it’s New Year’s Eve, so what the heck, go for it K-Lope: your life may be better for it.
Do not forget the chickenhawks, from Hitchens to Boehner.
They cluck for blood (not theirs) and money (booyah, baby!).
Hey! Its New Years rockin eve!
Guess what I’m doin?
If you picked #3, drinkin scotch and waiting
for the party to start, you would be correct.
Whoda thunk 9 months ago we’d find ourselves here
in this place, with so little hope for the future, simply
happy to find ourselves alive and unincarcerated for the moment.
So welcome 2008. Will you bring us blessings, a future where
people care about and for one another, orshall we sink further
into tribal hatred and bigotry?
Maybe it will all come to a head this year. Or maybe we’ll stumble
along for another sad, tragic 12 months, losing ground incrementally,
and hoping for a leader to turn it all around.
Not sure, but I guess we can think about it tomorrow.
Happy New Years, Sadlys. May you find your dreams, and may
you find a way prosper in the coming horrors…
mikey
Looks like Snorghagen’s present from Santa was the Excrescential-Insult Fridge-Magnet kit.
the only sign off life was that somebody had recently left some wilted lettuce leaves in the sink
It figures! Fascist liberals and their vegetarianism!
It’s a gift that keeps on giving!
Putin is not the editor of Time Magazine; he is the Tsar of all the Russias.
How many Russias are there anyway?
I’m thinking the office staff have not sobered-up yet and now with NYE upon us it will be another two days. Or more!
magisterium |?maj??sti(?)r??m|
noun
the teaching authority of the Roman Catholic Church, esp. as exercised by bishops or the pope.
• the official and authoritative teaching of the Roman Catholic Church.
ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: Latin, ‘the office of master,’ from magister (see magister ).
If Putin really is the editor of Time Magazine, wasn’t it a conflict of interest for him to name himself Man of the Year? Or did he abstain from voting?
I thought the SN! offices were in Bonn.
Or maybe we’ll stumble
along for another sad, tragic 12 months, losing ground incrementally,
and hoping for a leader to turn it all around.
I’m gonna go for a Happy No! Year.
Rock on, Sadlys. Y’all are good people.
Left out an important phrase: sobered up *after the big game*. Of course everyone probably knew that.
I’m just relieved that K-Lo’s and S!No’s magisteria are still blessedly non-overlapping.
please don’t mention k-lo’s magesteria here.
IT IS I, SINK LETTUCE!!!!!!!
Oh dear Lord, the elder sink lettuce has awoken from its dreamful sleep in R’lyeh! Iä!
Happy New Year Sadly No collective. This place is the funniest/bestest.
Is that Hunter Thompson or Jeff Gannon in that photo. I know it ‘aint Rita Hayworth.
Happy New Year, Sink Lettuce!
Happy freakin new year to one and all. Finally got my new computer set up today and I was planning on spending the evening with a pile of installation discs and lots of music. Got about 1/2 the discs installed and the computer decided to pretend that it doesn’t have a disc drawer any more, won’t read anything that I put there. I hate Microsoft. I hate Vista. I hate everything about fucking computers and right now I hate that I’ve been sober for 23 years. Crap.
The Lactuca sativa is angry.
Lettuce pray that we do not all become lettuce prey.
Yah, Commander Codpiece squatting on McCain’s shoulders, taking a dump on the American Soldier, whilst Lieberman slurps CC’s tiny shriveled prong and Petraeus stands by with a copy of the Constitution to use for clean-up purposes afterwards. I can see the Ted Rall version now, but TIME doesn’t publish covers that would get it banned at Wal-Mart.
Happy Hogmany to all Sadlynauts, which excludes trolls by definition. As my late father used to say, “Here’s to us, and to those that love us; and for those who don’t love us, may the angels turn their black hearts; and if they don’t turn their hearts, may they turn their ankles, so we’ll know them by their limping.”
How many Russias are there anyway?
Its constituent parts, sometimes collectively referred to as All the Russias:
* Russia proper (Russian: ???????, Rossiya), also known as Great Russia
* Little Russia, modern day Ukraine
* White Russia, Belorussia or modern day Belarus
* Black Russia, a part of Belarus or Ukraine
* Red Rus, also known as Eastern Galicia
* New Russia, or Novorossiya
somebody had recently left some wilted lettuce leaves in the sink
PROOF that SadlyNo is a fascist establishment!
(I know I know, it doesn’t make any sense. You have to read Jonah Goldberg’s epic opus: Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to Lettuce Leaves in the Kitchen Sink.)
Happy New Year’s. Drink liberally and drive safely.
Snorghagen–
Please be amused by the fact that one week ago I saw Phil Proctor in
an evening of Noel Coward plays in N. Hollywood. When I walked in,
and saw var. cast members singing period songs, I thought; “Who is that
pudgy white guy w/ white hair?” It was P.P., and he was great in the plays.
Forward into the Past, dude.
Is that Hunter Thompson or Jeff Gannon in that photo.
My first thought was Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now. I love the smell of sink lettuce in the New Year.
I am now scarred by Annie’s invocation of the McCainLiebermanPetraeus lemonparty. Much bleach will be required for the recovery.
gaggh.
Sadly New Year!!!
I hearby resolve to raid mikey’s liquor cabinet.
Happy New Year to all ye Sadly Naughtzies! I’m holed up at home with a bad cold that I think I caught from Candy (you should always wash your hands before commenting on blogs). Alas, no alcohol for me, but a nice pipeful of weed will suffice nicely. Wilted lettuce, by the way, hydrates the pot nicely if you don’t own one of those fancy gadgets that tobacco stores sell. Just another useful bit of information to start your new year.
GBear, there is always chocolate. And mushrooms in puff pastry. And fireworks.
Since the Spousal Unit is out of town, I’ll be watching the fireworks & sharing the puff pastries with Zevon the Excitable Dog, Buta-Hime-Sama the Hysterical Dog, and Demon Kishkan, who betrays her Maine Coon heritage by her love of puff pastry, potato chips & other greezy goodies. Afterwards, I get the chocolate ice cream and the fourfoots (including Kamikaze Kat and Fat Maddy who don’t watch tv), get the chicken ‘ice cream’ (baby food puree). Good times, when you’re old & fat & jaded like me.
Happy New Year, SadlyNoses!
I’m happy to have felt welcomed here at this sharp spiffy site this year, after feeling let down by disappointing blog affiliations elsewhere. Sort of like the party The Spouse and I just returned from, early, and, the liquor stores in this risible corner of The Bible Belt having closed at 9:30, we are now forced to make do with whatever remains in the liquor cabinet after having entertained various family members over the holidays.
Oh well! Let’s celebrate the beginning of the year in which finally, at long long last, the most horrific reign of terror in our country’s history will cease, and rejoice in the certainty that whatever comes after can ONLY be an improvement. That alone gives me enough optimism to shed my party dress and panty girdle and rummage up a White Russian or a vodka and tonic or whatever I may find in the bar corner of the rumpus room.
Cheers guys! It can only go uphill from here!
MrWonderful wrote:
You must be one of those psychic astral-plane mind-reader types. I am in fact an old Firesign Theater fan.
Hey, Paolo! He broke the President!
As for me, this year I’m handling things in a solitary manner. I’m going to slip out into the backyard, silently raise a toast at the stroke of midnight, and sincerely hope that in the next twelve months fate shovels a little less shit onto the world.
* Little Russia, modern day Ukraine
* White Russia, Belorussia or modern day Belarus
* Black Russia, a part of Belarus or Ukraine
* Red Rus, also known as Eastern Galicia
* New Russia, or Novorossiya
I am disappointed to discover (via the Great Gazoogle) that there are no recipes for a Little Russian or a New Russian. My hope for 2008 is that science will fill this gap.
I’m at a dumb velvet rope nightclub in Miami, and it’s so fucking lame I decided to post at Sadly from my iPhone. Much love to all of you wonderfully snarky sonsabitches. Here’s to crushing the wingnuts’ dreams in 2008.
Huh? Petraeus for Man of the Year? What year would that be? Coz 2007 was just anounced to be the deadliest year in Iraq for U.S. soldiers, and that’s only 4 year after “mission acomplished”…
But hold on, maybe I can use this to my own advantage… I built these shelves in our pantry-room, where my wife can put some of her stuff. It looked really nice, but then when she actually put the stuff on them, it all came down with a thud. So now all I have to do is maybe put a tarp on top so that it won’t look ugly, and BOOM I am the Man of the House for the Millenium. I mean, ever since the shelves broke, they haven’t broken again… see what I mean….
I went to see Sweeney Todd this evening.
Think of it as Dahmer: The Musical.
Happy new year to you all.
Here’s to crushing the wingnuts’ dreams in 2008.
I love that crunch-snap-crunch noise, it’s like tap-dancing over a river of cockroaches & bedbugs.
Where the hell is Major Kong?
Happy Sadly Fascist Janus-Day!
Its been a pretty normal NYE at the Cheddar house. Shortly after we finished off the peyote buttons I realized we were out of Slim Jims. So I spent past two hours crawling around the neighborhood in my underwear huffing whippets and looking for dried meat products. Well its about time to funnel another robitussin and jimson weed smoothie. Happy New Year ya godless commies.
Here in London it has been 2008 for precisely (give or take 15 seconds) five hours as I type this!
Happy New Year, ya degenerates.
Happy New Year to all!
It’s gotta get better from here on, right?
Well, 2008 is a more curvaceous, feminine year than 2007, which is all pointy at the end. Maybe that’ll count for something.
Happy New Years SadlyNoesians! For your enjoyment:
Why Christians Should Have Nothing To Do With Snowmobiles
I think this dude is not being serious here, though I can’t tell for sure.
It is now New Year’s in the time zone I like to call Normal People Time. Happy Numerical Increment!
For teh g33kz:
#include <year>
int main(void) {
Year this_year = new Year(2008);
cout << "Happy New Year " << this_year << endl;
return 0;
}
You might want to try mixing a little fulminate of mercury, tabasco sauce, and pancake syrup with that. Or add a pinch of paprika to give it that special holiday zing.
Happy New Year, everyone.
(For those who might be interested: a little context for the picture on the right.)
It’s a bit late to ask, but does anyone have drink recipes for the sundry Russians beyond white and black?
For cold nights, I like to mix one part white Russian (1 part cream, 2 parts Stoli vanilla-flavored vodka, 1 part Kaluha) with 1 part fresh, but mild coffee. It’s warm and the creaminess of the Russian goes well with the warm and faintly bitter coffee.
Animal circus owners are invariably also always Republicans because the “free market rulez!!!” and “man’s dominion over animals” = “money money money!!” while liberals are more rescuing animals and making their lives better (as per that fascism Jonah writes about…depriving him of his endangered species burgers and so on).
Some great videos and slide shows here in celebration of new year’s. Looking forward to putting more animal circus acts of business in 2008.
First new year’s resolution: read preview before submitting comment!
She’s so utterly fucking stupid that I almost feel sorry for her.
But not quite.
Hilary Clinton in a Vanna White pose? Wha? Everyone is entitled to their fantasies but I don’t want to hear about Klopez’s again. Ever.
She’d better be drunk or have strong statistical evidence that the majority of Korner readers are functionally illiterate. There are no other acceptable excuses for that mess.
Sadly, No. The entire editorial board died of common household accidents like radiation sickness and bullet holes right before it was time to vote. Putin was the only survivor.
Happy Newd Y34rz Sadly Knowsers!
Teh Green Russian:
2oz Unflavored Vodka
1oz of heavy cream
1oz Pulverized Wheat Grass
1 Sheet Nori, Shredded
1 Cranberry, under Ripe
Dash Wasabi
Dash Wocestershire Sauce
mikey
Well, maybe it will be a happy new year, I dare to hope
New Des Moines Register Iowa Poll
Obama – 32
Hilary – 25
Edwards – 24
I’d like to see Obama win just to watch wingnuts heads explode. I can hear them even now…. pop! poppop! hummmm…
Happy new year, yah dirty fuckin hippies.
Nice, mellow night here, marred only by the lack of a suitable female to do dirty, dirty things to right about….. now.
In all seriousness, I’d rather see Edwards win. Obama is always faffing about and attacking the other candidates from the right. I really do like Hillary’s platform, but every point in it is a watered-down version of something that Edwards has already proposed.
I’d really like to see Kucinich win, because I think this country needs a good progressive shakedown in the wake of Reagan-Bush-Clinton-Bush. 18 (or is it 17?) years without having a decidedly liberal president is a long time.
HNY to the only blog I still read. 2007 was horrible. 2008 couldn’t possibly be worse. (or did I just jinx it?)
It took me four tries to understand that sentence about Putin. Criticizing it isn’t even snark — it’s just common sense.
Minty-Choco-Russian: Kaluha over Mint chocolate ice cream.
Almost as good as cold tea over lemon sorbet.
My previous post should have read, “28 years without a decidedly liberal president…”
The holiday cheer has moved to the back of my head, and come morning, will emerge from its cocoon as a fully-grown headache.
Last to the party again. I’m still wallowing in 2007 for 2 more hours..
I look forward to a brighter and more inebriated immediate future.
Sappy salutations at all you kooks.
Go Edwards!
I just finished putting the Jan. 1 issue of the Hellish Right-Wing Newspaper to bed. Then I have to ride my bike 8 miles to get home. But I do have two days off now.
And it’s 13 minutes after midnight.
Happy New Year!
12:24 here in SoCal. Amazing — my five-year old daughter has wanted to watch New Year’s Rockin'(?) Eve this year since it has been almost all Miley Cyrus & Jonas Brothers. Wow — the tweeners have taken over completely.
The chances of the coming year turning out better than the last are slim. However, the chances that it will be different are pretty good.
To that, I’ll drink. Now gimme a hug.
I shall hug everyone of you in your sleeps. I vow it! Happy New Year!
Are you threatening me?
I guess they don’t teach “parenthetical statements” at the editorin’ school Special K(lo) gradumated at.
The fact is, you are all biased and anti-USA.
The fact is, Gary says he loves America,but he actually hates most Americans.
Get some sleep you fucking grouch.
The fact is, BLAAAAGHHKKKKKKKNARARARGLGLGLHAAAL
Of course it is “All the Russias”! Didn’t you guys pay attention to Chekhov? And By Chekhov, I mean the guy on Star Trek. In which case, you should also be referring to vodka as “wodka”. Got it?
SINK LETTUCE! I have no idea who you are, but somehow your arrival makes me most happy, as does the Lovecraftian greeting to you!
Happy New Years! (really, enjoy it. I still contend that time stopped in 2003)
Phil Proctor was the voice of Dr. Warren Vidic in Assassin’s Creed. I had a “Whoa, cool!” moment when I saw his name run up the screen in the credits.
Hope everyone had a safe New Year’s Eve, with minimal government surveillance, and that the new year brings some sort of revolution, even if it’s just a little half-assed one with a Democratic president.
It’s just this little chromium switch here. God, you people are so superstitious.
Holy shit, J—. That’s really Putin? Yeah, OK, I can see it now.
Lex/Skink, I believe Sink Lettuce is our old friend Pinko Punko — at least that’s what the link indicates.
In any case, it is now Morning, 2008. We made it. Now what?
Hello Good Frined i am Dr Philip chukwunwenye, I may like you to assistme stand as the Next of Kin fo my late client Mr Mark Cooper Inheritance fund $25.5m. SEND YOUR NAME,ADDRESS,AGE,OCCUPATION,PHONE AND FAX
NUMBER TO CLAIM THIS FUND.I will advise you further.
– philip chukwunwenye
pri1philip010@yahoo.co.jp
At this time, there’s only one sensible course of action for anyone dedicated to the betterment of humanity. Back to bed.
Hey, Smiling Mortician, did you catch ABC’s gallery of skin-baring political leaders? It includes a head-to-toe shot of Putin casting his big fishing rod and LBJ flashing his surgery scar.
Happy birthday, U.S. Abolition of the Atlantic Slave Trade!
Little Russian: same thing as a Black Russian, but served in a shot glass.
New Russian:
50 mL vodka (potato is better than grain)
25 mL coffee liqueur
Handfull of new potatoes
Place new potatoes in Collins glass instead of ice. Pour wet ingredients over potatoes and mix well.
—-
There ya go! Happy 2008! =D
Is it green because of the color of the cocktail, or because it will make you turn green?
Teh. Worst. Russian. Cocktail. Evah: Teh. Blonde. Russian.
Just reading the recipe made me throw up a little in my mouth. I dare anyone to make one and drink it.
Courtesy of some Brit named Alex: further proof, if further proof were needed, that they’ll drink anything in the UK.
Is it green because of the color of the cocktail, or because it will make you turn green?
Yes.
And speaking of such things, I totally could have gone forever without seeing that shot of Ron & Nancy, J—.
Via Atrios:
Sadly, No has a K Lo photoshop so disturbing, it looks like something Attaturk would come up with.
It’s not bragging to say this remains the gold standard in this category.
I demand the “Governor’s Trophy” now.
attaturk | Homepage | 01.01.08 – 12:12 pm | #
~
All is quiet on New Year’s Day . . . Happy 2008 all of you fine folks.
It’s quiet here chez Candy, anyway. The Pardner is asleep still, my son and his sleep-over friend are still out cold. I’ve baked apple cinnamon muffins, made a pot of butternut rum coffee, got the tea water on, and cooked up a pan full of really hot sausage. They’ll be getting up soon, and I guess I’ll play Teh Traditional Woman role and make breakfast for everyone.
Had a quiet one last night. Watched movies – Eastern Promises (in keeping with today’s Russian theme), and Full Metal Jacket (the Pardner being a big Stanley K. fan), and drank a little pinot grigio. Well, a lot of pinot, rather. It was good and cold, as I kept the bottle out on the balcony, plunked down in a mound of snow.
This post is excellent, Clif, I laughed aloud.
It’s going to be bitterly cold for the caucuses, which is good news for Edwards. Only the hard-core supporters will come out, I think, and he’s got hard-core supporters. Go Edwards!
NO, no. The shittiest web site is Front Page.
I hate to defend anyone at NR, but actually, there’s nothing wrong with her sentence. The first comma clearly separates the if clause from the instead phrase; both function as introductory elements before the main clause at the end. Had she left the first comma out, then she would have been implying that Vladimir Putin was the editor of Time (the absence of the comma would make instead of Vladimir Putin “essential information” modifying editor). What she actually wrote, though, is at least grammatically correct. Sorry, I love y’all, but you’re off on this one. But Happy New Year anyway!
Mort, as long as he/she/it doesn’t call itself “Skink Lettuce” I’ll be OK.
Mitt Romney is a Fembot! How can anyone like him at all? I must have “Mitt Derangement Syndrome. But Holy Cripes, what a creepy sleazebag!
I can’t resist jumping in after nashtbrutusandshort’s comments, to defend the essential shittiness of America’s Shittiest Website™ and the quintessential crappiness of K-Lo’s sentence. Whether or not the sentence is grammatically correct or not, it is ambiguously constructed and the ambiguity could have been easily avoided.
Fixed. One hallmark of good writing is avoiding such unnecessary (and unintentionally comic) ambiguity in a sentence
Someone has already posted Gertrude Stein’s thoughts on the comma, either in the previous thread I believe. So no going all comma nazi on us, you liberal nazi!
If any Sadly, No-ers are also Lost fans, here is something to keep you occupied on this slow political news day. Heck even our gooper trolls might like it, they love those conspiracy theories. Enjoy!
Click me
Yes indeed, Clif: that tiny extra then would indeed remove the ambiguity and make the sentence admirably clearer. Nicely done. As for the essential shittiness of NR, you’ll get no argument from me.
I know who should be pictured on the cover of Time as men (and women) of the year, but my government won’t let me take photos of their flag-draped coffins.
Or add a pinch of paprika to give it that special holiday zing.
Nutmeg
I never make it more than one sentence in either.
No no. No adding to an already crappy sentence.
If I were the editor of Time magazine I’d put three men on the famous year-ending issue instead of Vladimir Putin.
Teh. Worst. Russian. Cocktail. Evah: Teh. Blonde. Russian.
…
put in shot glass, float the advocaat on top (the tia maria and schnapps will mix)
…
Courtesy of some Brit named Alex: further proof, if further proof were needed, that they’ll drink anything in the UK.
Needs a pinch of polonium.
If I were the editor of Time magazine, instead of Vladimir Putin, I’d have three men on the famous year-ending issue.
Y’know, K-Lo, that’s illegal in most states that would bother buying your rag…
@Mandos:
Real Programmers™ use C.
We ain’t havin’ none of this wimpy object-oriented crap.
Will we collect funds toward the purchase of “The Elements of Style” for Ms. Editor? There’s a great new illustrated edition, in case all those pages of nothing but words would put her off of reading it.
Geez you guys are busy!!!
Happy New Year!!
So we spent New Year’s Eve on a flight from O’Hare to LA; the flight was scheduled to leave O’Hare at 5:00 p.m., and the snow started falling in earnest at 3:00, but we made it to the airport on time. There was a 3 hour delay in departing, not because of the snow, but because an earlier flight had computer trouble.
We got in at 11:30 p.m., so were able to celebrate the coming of the New Year while driving on the 405 North towards home.
When we got home, we were delighted to discover there was a bottle of champagne in the fridge – perhaps a thoughtful gesture from the Kid, who was out at his own party.
Teh prize goes to Righteous Bubba for the recast.
And, um, Clif:
Whether or not the sentence is grammatically correct or not, it is ambiguously constructed and the ambiguity could have been easily avoided.
As a teenager, I once wrote a short story in which a character awoke, showered, then shaved and brushed his teeth. (When you need to shave your teeth before you brush them, it’s time to reexamine your dental hygiene practices.)
“If I were standing athwart the editor’s chair of Time magazine instead of Putin on the year concluding issue I’d select three famous men plus two more including one who is really more of an abstract idea that I don’t really give a fuck about than an actual person and we’d have to have one of those fold out covers.”
If Arky is suggesting another Sad Fold-in cover, then I second the motion. It’s been a year since the last one.
Speaking of etiquette, personal grooming and the like – has anyone ever been on a plane when it’s clear that one of the passengers has been farting the entire flight, although you don’t know which passenger it is?
The entire flight from Chicago to LA, someone was farting like a beast every 10 minutes or so, the SBD variety. It was appalling.
And I had no idea who it was – so strange because you look at everyone suspiciously and then you realize that they are probably suspecting you, too, but you really don’t want to stand up and say “It wasn’t me!”
has anyone ever been on a plane when it’s clear that one of the passengers has been farting the entire flight, although you don’t know which passenger it is?
Yes. About twice a year. Most recently on an interminable flight from JFK to SeaTac. Pretty sure it was the guy in front of me who kept jamming his seat backwards and forwards about every 20 minutes, perhaps in an effort to . . . no. I can’t go there.
Are you sure that KLo doesn’t think she’s editing Vladimir Putin?
Too much Essensia last night. Forget it.
Name dropping:
Chatted w/ Phil Proctor @ Mendel’s Holloway Cleaners, right across S&M Blvd. from the Gelson’s (formerly Mayfair) Market earlier last year. He said they may be releasing the LeVaunce & The Smoker shows he & Bergman (“It Ain’t Necessarily Soap!”) did on KPFK in the ’70s, once the music clearances are worked out. Hee-larious stuff, if you’ve never heard it.
And if you’re going to bring up Lost, I worked w/ Jorge (“Hurley”) Garcia @ the Borders in Westwood, before he hit the big-time.
Speaking of big people, the Gelson’s Market heiress looks (or used to look) a lot like K-Schmoe, though she’s a bit older than K. J. I won’t mention the celebrity relative through whom I met her, that would be entirely too much.
Nor that knowing, working w/ or meeting in the cleaners any of these folk has done me any good at all, ever.
Candy said,
January 1, 2008 at 22:31
(When you need to shave your teeth before you brush them, it’s time to reexamine your dental hygiene practices.)
She had a lot of pubic hair, what can I say…
Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…
“If I were the editor of Time magazine, instead of Vladimir Putin, I’d have three men on the famous year-ending issue”
Now I may have the picture of K-lo (on the left) “HAVING THREE MEN” in my fucking nightmares for ALL of fucking 2008.
(shudder, shudder)
[…] by K-Lo’s woefully low standards, this is quite an achievement in bad grammar, appalling syntax and blithering incoherence. (And If […]