The Dread Face Of Liberal Fascism

Y’know, as interesting and insightful as Jonah’s book has been, I think it fails in the end because it doesn’t identify who the strong, charismatic leader of the Great Liberal Fascisti is. Oh sure, it devotes a whole chapter explaining why a Hillary Clinton presidency will bring us one step closer to totalitarianism, but I personally think she’s just a front for much darker forces at work behind the scenes.

Let’s recap what we know about liberal fascists:

  • Much like the Nazis, their ranks are teeming with homosexuals.
  • And worst of all, liberal fascists just love lecturing others on the value of (shudder) exercise and nutrition. Just like THE NAZIS DID.

So to find Liberal Fascism’s Grand Führer, we must find someone who’s gay*, bossy and fitness-obsessed. And then it hit me:


*And yeah, I know he says he’s not gay. But dude. Seriously. If you believe that, you probably also think that Roger Clemens pitched so well into his mid-40s solely because of hard work.


Comments: 74


You’re absolutely right. Watch as Simmons’ totalitarian boot-on-face dog-and-pony-show takes another innocent victim:


All hail Master Simmons. Hail! Hail! Hail!



D.N. Nation has found the Tom Wolf, I am Cheryl/Charlotte Simmons connection!


He shows way too much leg to be straight.


The brownshirt is now a glittery tank top. We’ll all be goosestepping in legwarmers and white hightops. Nutter shorts will be obligatory. Perms will be mandated for all.


But the question is: what will Billy Blanks do?





The bottom line is, the homosexual agenda is fascist for seeking to impose an unpopular and sinful lifestyle into the mainstream of American Society. fails in the end because it doesn’t identify who the strong, charismatic leader of the Great Liberal Fascisti is.

Duh!! That’s because the Liberal Fascists are Anarchists! Any moron can see that.


The Italian Blackshirts were fascists who wore black shirts.

Johnny Cash was the “Man in Black” and wore a black shirt.

Thus, Johnny Cash was a fascist.

Thanks, Jonah, this is fun.


I, for one, welcome our new Flourescant Fuhur, and look forward to our many evenings of burning conservatives and calories.


But if Simmons is gay I’d expect him to be in better shape.


The keyboard, she is besmirched…


I’ve always enjoyed Farewell to Fat way more in the original German.


Saul shot his mouth off and he showed him what that hole was for…


Hey liberals, I have a great idea that will really chap your asses.

Myself, Gary and Kevin should start a Conservative version of Sadly No were we would make fun of left-wing moonbats.

Now that would be awesome, don’t you think?


Saul- first you’d have to figure out how to be funny.


“Der Rocketführer said,
December 21, 2007 at 18:53

Saul- first you’d have to figure out how to be funny.”

I see an endless, mass production line of tired Clenis jokes as far as the eye can see, along with late night sobbing phone calls to Mother, who will reassure them that, yes, sweetie, you ARE funny.


Intentionallly at least


Why are there so many books about fascists
and who’s on the fascist side?
Fascists are vicious, and some say right-wingish,
Being fascist is something to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the fascist connection.
The haters, the schemers and me.


It would be great!

We would make fun of fat ugly moonbats like Rosie O’Donnel, Michael Moore and George Soros.

We would have our own shorter version.

We would play practical jokes on liberals and post fake articles on liberal blogs.

We would have a review of the latest left-wing wacky books.

All in all we would have a vey good time, it will be a site were Conservatives will have a good laugh making fun of the insane moonbat left.


The bottom line is Jonah is trivializing Fascism, Naziism, genocide, death camps etc simply so that he can attack liberals.

The bottom line is that makes him a piece of shit.

Bottom line.


…and I’m not sure what that makes Saul.


Dude, now I’m getting those vibes from that Seinfeld episode, where Jerry bets Kramer wither or not his next hair-brained scheme would actually get done. I think it’s when Kramer said he was going to build a deck inside his apartment.

Run along and play in your little tree fort, Saul. The grown ups are having a talking.


Oh, and we would have a destroy labor day segment since everyone knows it is a socialist holiday. (that would be a take on your foolish destroy Christmas/Hannakuh segment.)


We could call it Sadly, Yes!

As in did that dumb liberal actually say something that stupid. The reply would be Sadly, Yes!


Honoring American workers and the gains they’ve contributed to this country is socialist?

Sure Saul, whatever.


I don’t know who hear has read Richard Matheson’s short story, “Born of Man and Woman” but Saul is beginning to remind me of the deformed-child narrator. “I will screech and laugh loud! I will break the chains!”


This is why I read S,N!! This act of outstanding deductive reasoning has taken my breath away!

And then the blathering of the resident troll(s) allowed me to catch it again so I could laugh and laugh.

Thank you, Rocket Leader!


Saul said, December 21, 2007 at 19:09

We could call it Sadly, Yes!

As in did that dumb liberal actually say something that stupid. The reply would be Sadly, Yes!

If you are somehow under the impression that most of us here would in any way fail to feverishly support you in this endeavor, much less be opposed to you, you are, Sadly, Mistaken!

Quite the contrary. We are all tense with eager anticipation and encourage you to be bold enough to set out forthwith.

That way your comments can once again be highlighted here, but in a more prominent and yet more controlled fashion.


Please God let Saul follow through on his threat. All I want for Christmas is a blog version of “The Half Hour News Hour.” I’ll never need psychedelics again.


“Honoring American workers and the gains they’ve contributed to this country is socialist?”

Sure! Its called “Blank Blankism” and its the new craze sweeping the publishing world!

How can you play?

It’s like “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”. Find two things that don’t match and then link them up with a few logical contortions. Feel free to bend logic and create your own “definitions” for “words”. It’s fun!


Tip one: It’s not funny if you have to explain the joke.

As in, if you’re going to call it “Sadly, Yes!” just leave it at that and let the reader follow the reasoning. Trust the audience, Saul! Unless you think conservatives wouldn’t get it because they’re ignorant.


Two points to anyone who can prove tennis balls are fascist using Jonah’s brand of logic in five or fewer steps.


Awww, someone has huwwwt widdle Sauwww’s feewwings.

Then he is going to run off with some of his Little Debbie Fanclub buddies and make their own poor pale imitation of S,N!

Having an original idea is fascist, apparently.

BTW, have we just thought about pelting folks like Jonah with cauliflower until they break down and run away sobbing?


Besides, everyone knows it’s May Day that honors our socialist roots. Jesus, can’t you even attempt to understand our ways and traditions enough to bring them crashing down, as we do each Hanumaszaa?


Your right, we will carry through with this threat, and will have a destroy may day segment instead of labor day, thanks liberals I forgot it was may day that was the socialist holiday.


Tennis balls are made in a factory by non-union labor.

Liberals oppose the use of children or non-union labor in factory conditions because liberals would prefer union labor in factories.

Nazis used Jewish concentration camp members to work in the German factories as non-union labor.

Therefore, liberals want to kill union members and stuff them in ovens, just like the NAZI.

Do I win?


Tennis balls are frequently green.

Environmentalists are frequently called “greens”

Environmentalists are fascists.

Thus, tennis balls are fascist, QED.


Two points to anyone who can prove tennis balls are fascist using Jonah’s brand of logic in five or fewer steps.

Fascists are nasty.
Tennis balls were used by Ilie Nastase.
Therefore tennis balls are fascist.


Or, there’s always this way of the Jonah.

“I wouldn’t dream of calling tennis balls Nazis. Nonetheless, tennis balls are clearly proto-fascist.”


Wouldn’t this be easier?

Hitler played tennis, therefore tennis balls are teh nazi?


Your right, we will carry through with this threat

Is “threat” conservative code for “wingnut circle jerk that will have everyone else rolling around laughing with tears in their eyes”? If so, please carry through. You might want to put down the Sam’s Club Frito-Lay bonus packs before you try carrying anything else, though.

As bonus advice, just to show you I am not mean-spirited, it is “you’re,” as in “you are,” not “your,” as in “your pasty wingnut ass is blocking out the sun! Get away, troglodyte, before I kick your fucking Cheetos stained teeth out.”

Just to show you I am not mean-spir


RB in 3!
And your Fascist Connection was awesome.


Just to show you I am not mean-spir

Damn orphan lines! Saul, will you be a dear and drag this orphan to be buried with the rest of the sodomized Boy Scouts in your crawlspace? Danke schoen!


I think you guys are getting hung up on making genuine false syllogisms when trying to copy Pantload’s logic.

Remember, as we’ve had plenty of evidence, Pantload’s logic consists of “bad information, implicating my own sides’ means and goals as closer to the Nazi ideal, is thusly ignored to present a picture of a liberal who has nothing to do with what I’m saying, but none the less is the one at fault here.”

Therefore, even though liberals support a union workforce, the fact that the Nazis used prison labor from the camps in their factories shows just how like the Nazis liberals are.

And since tennis balls are made in factories, and liberal fascists use factories just like the Nazis, tennis balls are liberally fascist.


Yeah I’d say Patkin replicated Jonah’s logic best. Teh Win.

I would have gone for something more like:

Tennis balls are used to play tennis
Tennis is a sport
The Nazis loved sports
The Nazis were fascist
Therefore, tennis balls are fascist.

But yours is more creative.


Hopefully, SolGaryKevin will be helpful enough to their moms… I mean HUGE conservative audience as to link an MP3 of canned laughter to their blog posts, so as to clue everyone in on where “teh funny” happens.

BTW, is available.

Typical Republican

I think Saul’s Sadly, Yes idea would be very funny. Just like Mallard Fillmore or Prickly City.

And unlike you mean liberals, I think it would be intentionally funny in the way Saul intended.

So do it, Saul. Show how it’s OK for conservatives to call their opponents fascists and Nazis because it’s true, but if liberals do it, they’re just mean and uncivil.

I’m sure it will help the conservative cause immensely in its quest to not look like a bunch of total idiots.

Librals. Hmf.


Myself, Gary and Kevin should start a Conservative version of Sadly No were we would make fun of left-wing moonbats.

There really is a Santa!

Please start that site, Saul/Gary/Kevin.



Seriously, Saul, if you don’t start it, I will!

Using your three pseudonyms, of course.

The hard part will be keeping a distinct tone for each of your not so distinct characters. Maybe you should assign them different categories to cover, so when we see a WoW post, we know its Kevin. When we see a Israel post, Saul, and mindless espousing of GOP talking points? Gary.

If you do it that way, you wont even have to think. (Assuming you think in the first place, which is probably a long shot.)


Just how do you make fun of Labor Day?

Labor Day is kinda dumb, actually. When I was a young’un, with the lousiest, worst paid, most menial jobs I ever had, I always had to work Labor Day anyway.

But how would a retarded consevative – sorry about that remark, conservatives. I know how politically correct you conservatives can get when it suits you. I’ll try to be more considerate of your widdle feelings – I say, how would a retarded conservative make fun of Labor Day? Will they start saying Happy Holidays for the entire Labor Day season? (Which seems to start right after Memorial Day any more.) That would show us! Will they start protesting all the Labor Day displays on public grounds? Will they make parodies of all the beloved Labor Day specials of our childhoods, like “It’s the Proletariat Revolution, Charlie Brown” and “The Little Union Drummer Boy”?

WIll they become a bunch of Labor Day scrooges and ruin the holiday for all the liberal fascists?

I suspect there will be more “intentional” humor in ridiculing Saul’s idea than in Saul’s idea.

But keep trying, Saul. Perhaps one day you will come up with something that isn’t totally retarded.


I thought Saul Komedy Projekt has already been done:
Mallard Fillmore and Day by Day.


No! Don’t discourage him!

I’m sure he can bring da funny! I believe!!!

I believe,Saul!

I believe, Kevin!

I believe, Gary!




Do it saul/kev/gary! Make me laugh and laugh and laugh!


What happened to Saul?

Why isn’t he telling us more about his plans?

This could be the Best Christmas EVAH!


Ho ho ho.
I knew right away it was Richard.


And that’s not all:


You mean boys leave Saul alone! He’s very sensitive! And his Internets idea is going to be the best and funniest thing you ever saw! And he really is a rabbit!


1. I am not saying that fascist tennis balls do not differ from traditional fascism in many ways. Indeed, this is central to my argument.


Have you seen Niewart’s take on Little Doughy Loadpants?

That guy is intense.


wouldn’t “Sadly!NEIN! ” be the more approprioate title?


Labor day: what is the deal? “Hey, let’s celebrate labor … by not working!” Seriously, who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? Oh yeah, and not wearing white pants. To work. Where you’re … not … going. Hey, Michael Moore is fat! So is Rosie O’Donnel! Ha! She’s so fat and ugly, Bill Clinton wouldn’t fuck her with Hillary’s dick! Because she has one, you see!

Shorter Michael Moore: “nom, nom, nom!”

And don’t get me started on this war on Hannakuh. It’s gotten so bad we had to change the spelling again! I should know, being a rabbi with a degree in rabbinism from Rabbi State.


Hey, Saul,

That Niewart link above? It’s that serious criticism of Jonah you were looking for. As I’m certain you were being totally sincere, please take a look at it and respond. (After your nap, of course.)

Maybe it could be the first post on your hilarious-sounding Sadly, Yes Web site!

I’m repeating the link, Liberal Fascism: A preview, to make it easier for you to find.


Shalom, my rabbi friend,

I messed up the link, so here it is again:

Liberal Fascism: A preview

I very much enjoy interacting with my rabbi friend, and I do feel that you are always sincere in your quest for knowledge and understanding. So I’m certain that you will follow the link in good faith with an open mind, and respond.

Mazel tov

and Happy Holidays!


Arbeit mit Oldies macht Freiheit


[…] not an insightful thought by any means, but god jonah sucks. Filed under: Douchebags, pieces of shit — JasonC @ 4:51 […]


We could call it Sadly, Yes!

didn’t someone already try this? I’m thinking maybe it was Marie’ Jon’ or Amber Pawlik.


Hey, Saul,
That Niewart link above? It’s that serious criticism of Jonah you were looking for.

Saul’s not here, man.

(I heard he’s working as a Quote Boy over at


“Myself, Gary and Kevin should start a Conservative version of Sadly No were we would make fun of left-wing moonbats.”

Er… Conservapedia?

Just sayin’.


Shakespeare’s Henry V was an anti-fascist (see, Laurence Olivier).

Henry regarded a gift of tennis balls from France (France! The Home of Fascism!) as a mortal insult and a just pretext for war (see, Act I, Scene 2).

Ergo, tennis balls are fascist!


Wait, are you trying to say that Richard Simmons is on steroids? Whoa, dude, you’re scaring me!


[…] Simmons=Liberal Fascist? Posted by cjsmith under Politics   Now that your intrigued, you must click through to find the answer.  [This is good.] […]


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