Dec
19

And Now, Your Daily Liberal Fascism Moment of Zen [Updated x2]




Posted at 17:51 by Brad

libfascism12withfreakingaddedborder.jpg

After work today, I plan on eating a salad, going for a three-mile run and then rounding up my fellow white guys and putting them into camps. It’s the least this liberal fascist can do for The Cause.

Also:

libfascism13withmotherfuckingaddedborder.jpg

I swear to God, this book is like reading 400 pages of some whiny child shrieking, “But mo-ooooooom, I don’t wanna eat my vegetables, I WANT CAKE CAKE CAKE, it’s not faaaaaa-haaaaay-haaaaay-aaaaaair!!!!”

lolcatrenderer4.jpg

UPDATE: Yeah, this Jon Swift post deserves another promotion…


Gavin adds:

totalesturns2.jpg
Above: Idea hiked from Matt Steinglass


UPDATE II: More liberal fascism (my emphasis):

The fastest eco boat on the planet will attempt to break the round the world speed record using fuel made from human fat.

Pete Bethune, the New Zealand skipper of Earthrace, said the attempt to circumnavigate the globe would begin from Valencia in Spain on March 1 next year. [...]

Demonstrating further commitment to the cause, Bethune underwent liposuction and donated enough to produce 100ml of biofuel, while two other, larger volunteers also had the procedure, making a total of 10 litres of human fat.

Liberals are now using human fat to power their eco-friendly vehicles. Can death camps for Cheetos-devouring patriots be far behind?

238 Comments »

  1. roy edroso said,

    December 19, 2007 at 17:55

    OK, now I know you’re putting me on.

    I’ve made a pledge to wait till I’ve read the whole thing, but I must say there is no conceivable context in which that sentence is not totally insane.

  2. Thers said,

    December 19, 2007 at 17:56

    A salad is the hot dog of liberal fascism, and Thousand Island dressing is its ketchup.

  3. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 17:56

    The kumquat is the ninja-star of warm blizzards.

    I will now chug a fifth of Wild Turkey and put my head through a wall.

  4. dBa said,

    December 19, 2007 at 17:57

    I’m a Jew? Damn, no Christmas for me.

    Teh. Stupidest. Book. Ever.

  5. Robert M. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:00

    Oppression of white males differs in many ways from classical oppression. I don’t deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point.

    …okay, I can’t even snark anymore. Affirmative action is morally equivalent to deliberate genocide? What the hell was Goldberg huffing?

  6. michael d said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:00

    I don’t know, there’s an awful lot of detail and care in those nine words.

    Thank you, captain cheeto, for making this the best Holiday-Solstice-with-presents-and-mistletoe EVER.

  7. GoatBoy said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:01

    I’m a Jew, y’all! I can’t believe it! I made it, I’m a Jew! This is so unexpected. I didn’t prepare a speech or anything. I’d like to thank Sammy Davis, Jr., Barbra Streisand, Jerry Stiller, Samuel Goldwyn, Rod Carew and Goldberg. I’m a Jew, y’all!

  8. Seanly said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:01

    Jake ~ I already feel llike I’ve done that reading this excerpts.

    I was also going to say what the great Roy said. I mean, come on, who could be this profoundly stupid. Goldberg had to have written this while high as a kite on spray can fumes.

    I’m believing more & more this is an elaborate hoax on us. Come clean!

  9. arthur dent said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:02

    This truly is The Book At The End Of The Universe.

  10. Flying Fox said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:04

    roy edroso, I’ve got some bad news for you. The conservatives have been pulling this line for some time now, that white males are being victimized in this country somehow. That doesn’t make it any less inane I guess. Dangerous too. That’s a common tactic of the REAL Fascists. Tell your target audience they have/are being victimized, and the Fascist can not only end it, but reverse it. Course, Its been clear Goldberg is a two-bit Fascist ever since he published that column callng for a return of literacy tests as a requirement to vote. Ironically, Goldberg is so dumb/cynical he would boviously disenfranchise himself.

    Wild Turkey just isn’t strong enough for this tripe. You need some pure Kagoshima Shochu.
    (utters a guttural cry of “Satsuma!”)

  11. jeff said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:04

    I don’t deny that the contemporary pogroms on white people differ from classical pogroms; however, the effect is much the same: where jews would be disenfranchised, their property stolen by the state, and then murdered by crazed villagers, so too are today’s white people routinely offered free public education and are taxed by an oppressive regime dead set on building highways and defending the nation. I don’t deny the differences, but I think the similarities speak to the true horror of ascendant liberal fascism.

  12. El Cid said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:05

    The dude earlier who mentioned that this book really came down to an apologia for the KKK now wins hands down.

  13. michael d said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:05

    Vegetofascism is the fons et origo of Nazism.

  14. Dan Someone said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:05

    I don’t have the skills, but someone ::cough::Gavin::cough:: should adapt some of those antisemitic Nazi propaganda posters to illustrate Jonah’s point.

  15. HTML Mencken said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:05

    Yet, something tells me Abe Foxman won’t be jumping all over this most recent wingnut’s trivialization of the Holocaust.

  16. r4d20 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:08

    …. and Affirmative Action is our Auschwitz.

  17. tigrismus said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:08

    If viral rhinitofascists have staged an Anschluss of my nose, does that mean I’m not a fascist, at least temporarily? Or am I even more fascist because one feeds a cold, but starves a fever? FOOD FOR HEALTH!

  18. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:10

    who knew that eating Cheetoes was an act of patriotism???

  19. dBa said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:12

    I used to think the Soup Nazi was funny, but now, as a Jew, not so much.

  20. Legalize said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:12

    Dude, Pantload’s entire “career” is one extended temper tantrum. Tune in next week when he “argues” that brushing one’s teeth and getting off the couch are elitist fascisms.

  21. Clint said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:14

    Funny… I don’t look Jewish. Or fascist, for that matter.

    This book is big steaming pile of FAIL.

  22. zeezee said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:14

    Goldberg is so dumb/cynical he would boviously disenfranchise himself

    I know it was just a typo, but I think “bovious” is a wonderful word to describe Jonah.

  23. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:15

    Or am I even more fascist because one feeds a cold, but starves a fever?

    Depends what kind of chicken soup you’re feeding it. If it’s canned with lots of sodium and preservatives, you are carrying on the proud and essentially conservative tradition of patriots like George Washington and the Ku Klux Klan. If it says the words “organic” or “free range” anywhere on it, you have essentially gassed millions of innocent Jews and gypsies to death by your actions.

  24. Karl Steel said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:15

    I can think of an organization obsessed with uniforms, clean living, communal values, outsdoorsy virtue, youth, and committed to mysticism: the Boy Scouts. Does JG go after them?

  25. Douglas said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:17

    Oh shit, I guess I’m a selfhating german jew now, am I? And I even got a black-white cat.

    Can I invade poland? (Or at least the kitchen?)

  26. DrDick said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:18

    Pantload drives a stake through the heart of irony. Humor is dead. How can you possibly satirize this? There is nothing you can say that is any more absurdist or over the top than his own words.

  27. jenniebee said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:18

    If white males are the new Jews, who will wear the jodhpurs now?

    Won’t somebody please think of the jodhpurs?

  28. Jay C. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:18

    I’m a Jew? But I don’t know any good circumcision jokes….

    It’s hard out here for a Liberal Fascist.

  29. g said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:19

    Karl, only if they a a scoutmaster who is Teh Gay. Then they’re Nazis.

  30. Caveat said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:20

    Does he mention GB Shaw? Botanican fascist.

    I presume this is tome is self-published?

  31. Fats Durston said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:20

    Phase 1: Boycott all businesses run by white males. Check.

    Phase 2: Check all white males to see if they have white males in their ancestry. If at least one grandparent is a white male, then white males are excluded from civil service, legal professions, medical professions, entertainment, and teaching [a-ha!] positions. Check.

    Phase 3: White males forbidden to enter cinemas, theaters, swimming pools. White male newspapers publication rights “suspended.” Check.

    Phase 4: White males forbidden to fly national flag. Check.

    Phase 5: Take down posters criticizing white males during Olympics. Pending.

    Phase 6: Implement national identity card for white males, to keep track of their whereabouts. Check.

    Phase 7: CHEETOHNACHT!

  32. g said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:21

    If we are going to oppress white males, what kind of symbol will we make them sew onto their coats?

    A NASCAR logo?

  33. Fozzetti said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:22

    So it was all those whole grains & lack of meat that caused Hitler to murder 6 million+ people? If only he’d had some CHEETOS!

  34. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:23

    Phase 7: CHEETOHNACHT!

    Amazing.

  35. Caveat said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:24

    btw Northern people aren’t ‘white’ unless they’re dead and even then there’s some colour in the mix. White doesn’t exist.

    They’re various shades of pink, either cool or warm. Is Goldberg a pink male?

  36. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:24

    Does Jonah’s masterpiece have footnotes, endnotes, a bibliography or any such list of references?

    Could you post those next?

    As a historian who has studied fascism enough to pass by Modern Europe field exams, I’m interested to see if he consulted any of the requisite sources.

    Cheers.

    This whole thread has me chuckling like Saint Nick! Thanks for the early Pagan Light Ritual (aka ZOMG WARONXMAS) present.

  37. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:25

    I’m such a self-hating collaborating white “jew” that I’m going to abuse myself at least half a dozen times today in my depths of shame.

  38. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:27

    Hang on…

    Is Jonah now saying that Jews aren’t white? Is he racist or an anti-semite?

    Maybe we should invite him to this blog so he can ‘splain himself?

  39. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:28

    As a historian who has studied fascism enough to pass by Modern Europe field exams, I’m interested to see if he consulted any of the requisite sources.

    Whatever, those were probably written by fascist McCarthyite Democrat communist…I’m sorry, I’m falling apart here. I don’t know what words mean anymore.

  40. Legalize said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:28

    “CHEETOHNACHT!”

    Consider this stolen.

  41. michael d said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:28

    Does he mention GB Shaw?

    The socialist (“Just like National Socialism, yeah!”), vegetarian (“GROSS!”), religion-mocking (“I mean ZOMG WAT A FASCIST LIBTARD”) Nobel prizewinner (“Just like Al Gore, he heated his huge house with Jew-fired ovens”)?

    I imagine he’ll get several pages, and a whole footnote!

  42. Fozzetti said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:28

    If white males are the Jews, then. . . . who are the Jews? And what are white females? And what about black males & females? Or Asian males? What are they? Asians (supposedly) eat healthy. And don’t forget Eskimo’s eating seal blubber!

  43. Dayv said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:29

    g said:

    If we are going to oppress white males, what kind of symbol will we make them sew onto their coats?

    A dude who is not dancing, obviously.

  44. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:29

    If white guys are the new Jews, who’s Shecky Greene?

  45. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:30

    Maybe we should invite him to this blog so he can ’splain himself?

    When did you stop beating (your tiny flaccid penis with the pudgy Cheetoh-stained hand you pathetically nicknamed) your wife?

  46. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:33

    As a historian who has studied fascism enough to pass by Modern Europe field exams, I’m interested to see if he consulted any of the requisite sources.

    Dude… the entire book is an exercise in ‘truthiness’. Jonah don’t need no stinkin’ footnotes, nor endnotes, nor scholarly research to back up his thesis. It just sounds good in his gut to say, “Liberal fascism” as often as possible.

    After all, facts have a well-known liberal bias.

  47. Davis said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:33

    The next time I go to my local health food store, I’m going to look around to see if anyone reminds me of Hitler.

    As a WASP, I say to my put-upon brethren: quit complaining and fuck off.

  48. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:33

    actor212 raises an important point. Would Goldburp describe self-abuse as a fascist activity? Current evidence says no.

    I can think of an organization obsessed with uniforms, clean living, communal values, outsdoorsy virtue, youth, and committed to mysticism: the Boy Scouts. Does JG go after them?

    Nein, chasing Boy Scouts through ze voods requires fascist abuse of his cardiovascular system. He keeps a net by his door for vhen zey come around selling popcorn.

  49. Jon Swift said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:34

    Your illustration convinces me more than ever that my LOLcat version of Liberal Fascism would have been much better.

  50. dBa said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:34

    I really was hoping to wake up and be an SS(sic) Stormtrooper, this morning has been quite a shock.

  51. D.N. Nation said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:38

    You know what’s just pathetic? This clown writing a column the other week about how elementary education has devolved to where the children don’t learn anything, they just have their fragile self-esteems boosted.

    This coming from the guy who only gets jobs because of 1) Wingnut welfare 2) His mother, who was once marginally famous and 3) The fact that none of his fellow neocon blatherers have the heart to tell him how bad of a writer he is.

    Because he is. Absolutely. Terrible. You simply can’t make the arguments he’s making with a straight face. He’s well beyond the opposite of correct into a realm where wrongness is applauded, loved, cherished, and then taken for granted. I mean, when Michael Barone whips out that tired “Crunchy Cons/Chamberlainish Libs” silliness he at least does some friggin research. He knows his facts…but chooses to get all ad hoccy on us.

    Jonah can’t even get the research right. It’s a wonder this book even has anything more than crayon drawings.

  52. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:39

    The Full List oF Tags At Amazon For Fudgie’s Book:

    propaganda (30)
    editor promised cake (17)
    conservative (15)
    must read (14)
    politics (14)
    wingnut welfare (14)
    liberals bashing books not yet published (13)
    censored by liberals (11)
    censored by the left (10)
    the truth (9)
    finally the truth (8)
    true (8)
    doughy pantload (6)
    i can has job mom (6)
    waste of a good tree (4)
    relatives in high publishing places (3)
    truth (3)
    banged out by howler monkeys (2)
    doughy pantloads premiere (2)
    if michelle malkin is over your head (2)
    ignorant liberals (2)
    leftists (2)
    liberal moonbats exposed (2)
    mmm bacon (2)
    pathetic revisionism (2)
    revisionist history (2)
    self-parodies (2)
    spend your money on tragic legacy (2)
    tag vandalism (2)
    technically speaking fascism is an inher… (2)
    wingnut (2)
    a dunce with an editor (1)
    a fascist wannabe publishes his fantasie… (1)
    absolutely accurate (1)
    amazon vandalism (1)
    american fascism (1)
    american left (1)
    attend to luicannes bunions (1)
    bds (1)
    blame the liberals first (1)
    books (1)
    books by rubes (1)
    books written while high on cheeto dust (1)
    bored the stenographer to sleep (1)
    brandeis invaded poland (1)
    bullflop (1)
    bullsh-t (1)
    bush derangement syndrome (1)
    but we can applaud italy (1)
    ca ca (1)
    code pink invaded poland (1)
    conservatism (1)
    conspiracy theory (1)
    cultist liberal dogma (1)
    facism (1)
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    hate is good philosophy for idiots (1)
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    hitler was a socialist (1)
    how not to design a book cover (1)
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    liberals bashing books not even publishe… (1)
    liberals hate the truth (1)
    ludicrous is too kind a word (1)
    lunatic ravings (1)
    mancakes (1)
    missed deadlines (1)
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    And this one, that I just added:

    “ten pounds of crap in a five pound book”

  53. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:43

    “I’m a Jew? But I don’t know any good circumcision jokes….”

    Morris was a very uneducated man, but by ruthless means became very rich. The older Morris got, the richer he got; the richer he got, the more women he had; the more women he had, the less use he was to them.

    One day, Morris went to the top surgeon in the business and said, “I want to be castrated.”

    “You want to be WHAT?”

    “I said castrated, my sexual powers are failing. I insist you operate at once.”

    The surgeon was a bit dubious, but in view of this last statement, and for a fee of $2,000, he carried out the operation.

    Some weeks later, Morris was drinking in his local pub, listening to the conversation at the next table.

    “I say, Barney,” said one of the group, do you think there’s any truth to the rumour that if a man gets himself circumcised, it improves his sexual performance?”

    Morris quickly left the pub muttering to himself “Circumcised, that was the word I’ve been trying to think of.”

    More here.

  54. tigrismus said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:44

    blivet!

  55. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:45

    “Dude… the entire book is an exercise in ‘truthiness’. Jonah don’t need no stinkin’ footnotes, nor endnotes, nor scholarly research to back up his thesis. It just sounds good in his gut to say, “Liberal fascism” as often as possible.

    After all, facts have a well-known liberal bias.”

    Yeah, I know, I’m just curious, in an ethnographic sorta way….

  56. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:46

    I really was hoping to wake up and be an SS(sic) Stormtrooper, this morning has been quite a shock.

    Eat some organically-grown spinach and you’ll be ready to round up some Jews in no time at all.

  57. Sad, Misunderstood Clown said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:46

    I like Jonah’s vast swath best behind the elephant stall.

  58. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:52

    The dude earlier who mentioned that this book really came down to an apologia for the KKK now wins hands down.

    That would be … me !!!!

    [thanks the Academy and applies another mescaline-soaked poultice to face to prepare for next teh Sadly installment of the nightmare you can't wake up from in less than 400 pages]

  59. Incontinentia Buttocks said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:56

    Can I invade poland? (Or at least the kitchen?)

    The kitchen is the poland of liberal fascism.

  60. Isaac Newton said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:57

    Good ladies and gentlemen, I think we are witnessing …

    Principia Wingnuttia

  61. Snort said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:59

    So the Holocaust was a bunch of Cheeto eating, orange soda swilling guys killed by vegetarians?

    My head hurts.

  62. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 18:59

    Just when I think JG can’t get any more pathetic, I read this from the Jon Swift post linked above:

    The first sign of trouble was when Goldberg asked for help from readers of The Corner. “I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Herbert Spencer,” Goldberg said. “There’s simply no way I can read all of it, nor do I really need to. “

    Asking for help writing his book. . . from The Corner?!?

    What

    an

    idiot.

  63. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:00

    Eat some organically-grown spinach and you’ll be ready to round up some Jews in no time at all.

    Of course! It’s like when the Rangers landing at Normandy were pelted with tofu and organic raisins.

  64. Luther said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:01

    How short would this book be if said “author” just listed everyone that isn’t a fascist?

  65. Sammy Davis Jr. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:01

    So what am I, a double fascist or white ?

    Help me out here ….

  66. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:04

    So the Holocaust was a bunch of Cheeto eating, orange soda swilling guys killed by vegetarians?

    You forgot to mention teh evil wicked, uppity wimmin who wouldn’t date them because they were nice guys.

    As Mutabaruka said in “Johnny Drughead” — the struggle continues.

    Tofu Uber Alles !!!!

  67. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:06

    Goldberg said. “There’s simply no way I can read all of it, nor do I really need to. “

    Hey, Jonah just reviewed his own book !!!

  68. Jonah - Doughy Victim of Fascismitis said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:07

    Leave me alone! Riting this book wuz hard wrk. Ur just jelos coz u didnt get a sweet book deal frum a big pubishing house.

    And ur laffing at me proves ur a bunch of fasists!

  69. Snort said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:08

    O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity, Mathews,Colmes, etc. are Jewish?

    I’m getting tunnel vision.,

  70. Snort said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:08

    Oops, forgot Coulter.

  71. DAS said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:11

    Let’s see if I understand Jonah correctly: Hitler was concerned about health and liberals are concerned about food and health, therefore liberals are fascists?

    Now Samuel Johnson, who was certainly conservative (although in a Viereck kind of way, so no doubt Jonah would call Samuel Johnson a liberal fascist), famously said that he minded his belly very studiously. Does that make conservatives fascists as well?

  72. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:11

    Well, I’m off to have a cheeseburger for lunch. (Don’t want people to think I’m a fascist, do I?) I just hope that, as a white male, some Liberal Fascist doesn’t kick me with their steel-toed boots, throw me into a poorly-ventilated train car, and haul me to a concentration camp to be worked literally to death. Fingers crossed!

  73. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:15

    Re: Amazon Tags

    I added “Dialectic of Cheetohlightenment”

    and also put a vote in for “Editor Promised Cake”

  74. David Duke said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:15

    Dear fellow Jews:

    Matzoh gefilte meshuggenah. Also, kill the Jews.

    Whoops.

  75. Jay said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:16

    If Authoritarianism to the point of dictating diet is the definition of Fascism, then the Book of Leviticus is the guiding tome.

  76. Bubba said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:16

    A few points:
    Adolf wrote a book; Jonah wrote a book. Coincidence?

    Sadly, No! MUST be settting some kind of site visit records today along with all these comments and posts. Jonah should write MORE books!

    If Jonah ate one Cheetoh for every time he used the word “fascist” in this text, he would deliver a pantload thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.

  77. Blog of the Moderate Left » Blog Archive » The Most Godwiny Statement in the History of Godwin’s Law said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:22

    [...] Jonah Goldberg has a message for all of us: [...]

  78. Snort said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:27

    Hitler was white.

    My ears just fell off.

  79. stringonastick said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:28

    Being married to someone who had actual Jewish relatives killed by fascists, to the point of nearly eliminating the entire family tree (one escaped), this 400 page pile of shit is really, really offensive. I’ve got no snark for this, only the hope that a bunch of serious karma comes to kick his doughy, pantloaded ass.

  80. edub said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:28

    Color me confused. I’m a white male of the liberal persuasion, and I eat the occasional steak. My girlfriend, who really is Jewish, is trying to get me to eat more vegetables. In fact, she wouldn’t mind it if I gave up meat altogether.

    So. . . am I a fascist or not? I’d like to tell her before the SA come to take me to Whole Foods.

  81. SamFromUtah said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:30

    I’m a Jew? But I don’t know any good circumcision jokes….

    Uh oh… I’m one now too, does that mean I need to get circumcised?

    Where do I sign up to schedule the bris?

  82. Legalize said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:31

    I want to make sure I do the right thing here. A veggie burrito is clearly out of the question, but I want to make sure that eating a chicken burrito will absolve me of all fascisms.

  83. Robert M. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:33

    stringonastick,

    I’ve got no snark for this, only the hope that a bunch of serious karma comes to kick his doughy, pantloaded ass.

    Well, he does have to go through the rest of his life as Jonah Goldberg. That’s a hell of a down payment on karma already.

  84. luneylegume said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:35

    I’m looking to make a name for myself
    round these parts
    I will take down the biggest meanest
    orneriest fellow to demonstrate such bona fides

    Crunch or Classic
    `It’s your move. Think you can take me? Well, go ahead on’

  85. dBa said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:37

    It is kind of hard to keep up with teh Doh’y Pantload.

    Hitler was concerned with food, Hitler was a fascist, and Hitler was also a white male…liberal fascists are concerned with food, and white males are the liberal fascists Jews, ergo, Hitler was a Jew.

    It’s just fucking bizarre.

  86. Clem said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:39

    The Jew is the Natalee Holloway of conservative democracy.

  87. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:40

    stringonastick said,
    December 19, 2007 at 19:28

    Being married to someone who had actual Jewish relatives killed by fascists, to the point of nearly eliminating the entire family tree (one escaped), this 400 page pile of shit is really, really offensive. I’ve got no snark for this, only the hope that a bunch of serious karma comes to kick his doughy, pantloaded ass.

    See my note from last evening:

    But within Lead Paint Society’s tome is a hidden narrative which says Dred Scott was a fascist. And Dred Scott’s supporters were uber-fascist. This entire book is the story-narrative of the Klan and the Aryan Nation armored car fucks who capped Alan Berg.

  88. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:40

    The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.

    Mazel tov, gentlemen.

  89. sophronia said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:41

    Well, if Hitler had eaten more beef and Cheetos instead of whole grains, he might not have had the energy to kill so many people. Think about that!

    Who else thinks this book was written in twelve hours in a massive, Cheeto- and meth-fueled binge, when Jonah realized that it would be really, really embarrassing if he postponed the deadline again?

    Really, guys, this needs to stop. My husband is a white, male, liberal, meat-eating Jew, and he’s been spending the whole morning trying to oppress himself. It’s very sad.

  90. pedestrian said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:42

    Auditor: You know, It’s funny: in theory, a really bad book could make more money for the author than a best-seller.

    Jonah: Howzat again?

    Auditor: Well the IRS would never bother to audit a miserable failure. They really only care about successes.

    Jonah: SpuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrIIIINNG TIME for Hitler, and Lib-ur-als!!

  91. Five of Diamonds said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:46

    This is sounding more and more like one of those notebooks found in a mental patient’s cell that is covered in margin-ignoring scribbles. I’m picturing much underlining and many exclamation marks.

  92. Righteous Bubba said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:47

    the ones who want to silence the free-speech of Patriots like Jonah Goldberg.

    Please write more books Jonah please please please.

  93. Caveat said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:48

    I don’t see why Jon Stewart can’t make an emergency appearance. This is important.

    He could just read the comments here written by non-unionized and therefore indubitably fascist commenteers!

  94. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:53

    As Mutabaruka said in “Johnny Drughead” — the struggle continues.

    But he also said “It no good to stay in a Witeman Jewishman country too long.” I’m confused.

  95. tigrismus said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:53

    Hey, Caveat, you union-busting comedofascist, we’re no scabs.

  96. Der Rocketführer said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:55

    Saul- I know that’s you, you homophobic loony.

  97. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:58

    As a white male myself, and like, Jonah, suffering greatly under the iron heel of liberal fascism, denied bacon and headcheese and suet, forced to subsist on hummus and millet, I decided the most important thing I could do at this Darwinian self-survival moment was to pen a small post on my site called Tispaquin’s Revenge which simply says:

    Jonah Goldberg says, “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    Thereby allowing Teh Googolplex to let teh meme multiplex throughout the intertubes with maximum echo effect. I wreck and mend others due the same.

  98. jnfr said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:58

    Well I made a stir-fry last night from local tofu and home-grown bean sprouts.

    Ph33r My D3ath C4mpz!!

  99. Dave said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:04

    I’ve decided to call him “Chunk” from now on. Because this book is just a simple plea to let him eat his candy bars in peace.

  100. SamFromUtah said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:05

    Damn, the name-stealer’s back. Wotta tool.

  101. Dave said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:05

    Also, I had no idea that 20 minutes on the treadmill made me a fascist. The things you learn!

  102. Righteous Bubba said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:05

    Well I made a stir-fry last night from local tofu and home-grown bean sprouts.

    Ph33r My D3ath C4mpz!!

    Speaking as a new Jew, I do indeed fear your death camps, although a little guidance from more experienced Jews would be welcome. Can these death camps be destroyed with some sort of Mountain Dew concoction?

  103. Edmund Schluessel said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:06

    The whole Hitler-was-a-vegetarian thing is, of course, about 90% bullshit, as any cursory reading of the dozen or so reputable biographies of him will tell you.

    Of course, this implies having done ten minutes of actual research.

  104. BJS said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:06

    “Does Jonah’s masterpiece have footnotes, endnotes, a bibliography or any such list of references?

    Einstein’s first paper on relativity theory barely had any footnotes. Warrants mentioning…

  105. Douglas Watts said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:06

    As Mutabaruka said in “Johnny Drughead” — the struggle continues.

    But he also said “It no good to stay in a Witeman Jewishman country too long.” I’m confused.

    Because of Jonah Goldberg, myself and yourself and countless others must now reconceptualize Jamaican dub poetry. Obviously, when Peter Tosh said “Legalize It,” he was referring to teh fascism. And Mutabaruka did warn against “bubble gums, pop corns, ice creams, in tall intercontinental buildins’ …

    Who knew ?

  106. Mr. Sparkle said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:09

    Speaking as an actual Jew and a white male and a liberal…what’s the point he’s trying to make? That I feel an urge to herd white males into concentration camps? That I’m somehow destined to betray good white males everywhere?

    I was just laughing at how stupid this guy could be, but now I have this heavy urge to introduce his face to my baseball bat at a very high speed.

  107. Principal Blackman said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:09

    Well, I did my part to combat fascism last night by eating a double-double from In-N-Out. Where’s my publishing deal and Scaife lucre?

  108. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:10

    This is new territory for us, too, Righteous Bubba. All of us white male Jews are now Jewish Jews (or maybe Jew Jews). Obviously, this changes everything, I just don’t know how exactly.

  109. Legalize said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:10

    “Also, I had no idea that 20 minutes on the treadmill made me a fascist. The things you learn!”

    Anything that gets your heart rate up for an extended period of time is fascist. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that Pantload sweats when he eats, so I’m not sure how it works from there ….

  110. bob said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:11

    I repeat – brgizzle bazorp gleepenese florgling florgousness. There. I just made as much sense as Jonah.

  111. Robert M. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:12

    I’m a supporter and beneficiary of S,N!’s laissez-faire comment policy, but can I introduce the idea of 24-hour cooldown bans on the IPs of repeat offenders?

    And by “repeat offenders” I mean Kevin/Saul/today’s stolen handle. I find it interesting, though, that Jonah has essentially lapped the Saul persona. Saul is pretending to be a “classical fascist” Jew, but since the likelihood is that he’s really a white guy, that means he’s really a Jew of liberal fascism, which means he’s a fake-real classico-liberal fascist Gentile-Jew…

    Whoo. I think I just blew my mind.

  112. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:13

    Does Jonah’s masterpiece have footnotes, endnotes, a bibliography or any such list of references?

    Could you post those next?

    Here’s the table of contents.

  113. Gilmore said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:13

    The cake is a lie.

  114. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:15

    Of course, this implies having done ten minutes of actual research.

    I guess nobody had the time nor inclination to read up on Hitler for him.

  115. Lesley said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:16

    Jonah missed the biggest baddest liberalNazifascist of all: the earth herself. For it is she that produces the evil and vile fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and whole grains that prevent cancer and heart disease. If it wasn’t for the earth there could be no “eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day.” If the earth had been neoconservative from the beginning, potato chips and bacon would grow on trees and vaginas would be constructed out of playdoh!

  116. Jemand von Niemand said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:17

    What sickens me more than anything else about the American Right wing is how some of its True Believers — Coulter and Pantload, for example — take specific labels and change their meaning… as if they had always been defined that way. It’s barbaric. It’s just fucking nuts.

    They attempt to assert their own sociopathology over history, or cultural and institutional memory, or just actual events. They want to replace the truth with a lie.

    Jonah, you’re a schmuck. You’re the kind of gonif who shits on the floor of someone’s home after you’ve stolen from them — and that’s what you’ve done in this garden of moron’s delights you call a book: You’ve taken a dump, placed it between covers, and proclaim it to be the equivalent of Oswald Spengler meets Little Orphan Annie Rand.

    You realize, of course — no one in a real community of ideas, people who build towards intellectual advancements for — principles and ideas others have actually died for — will ever take you seriously. Ever.

  117. SamFromUtah said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:17

    Of course, this implies having done ten minutes of actual research.

    I saw a student get pwn3d by a professor once who used almost exactly these words. That was over 20 years ago and I’m still glad the student wasn’t me – it was really painful to watch.

  118. OTB said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:20

    Can somebody make some kind of refrigerator magnet game out of this book? Please? Hours of fun.

  119. Jason said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:20

    “Dan Someone said,
    I don’t have the skills, but someone ::cough::Gavin::cough:: should adapt some of those antisemitic Nazi propaganda posters to illustrate Jonah’s point.”

    A rough, really quick go at it.

    Based on this actual pre-1933 Nazi poster about an anti-Jew talk to be given. Mine roughly translates to “In the word of unicorns. Published 8 January 2008. Hitlery Klinton: The White Male is our misfortune. Public comments on all matters. Men and women of the Blogosphere come to our mass hysteria. Facsist Hippie Party” translation roughly done by Google so anyone who actually knows German please don’t kill me.

    For those curious but don’t want to follow the link, here’s the original

  120. Jason said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:20

    Ahhh the images got stripped
    mine: http://www.xtra-rant.com/misc/unicorns_whitemale_goldberg.jpg

    original: http://www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/posters/streich.jpg

  121. Hysterical Woman said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:23

    I don’t know or care if gbear’s gay, but that has to be fake. No one thinks Jonah’s hot.

    (Then again, there was that one guy who thought Ben Shapiro was hot, but that’s probably because of the virginity)

  122. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:25

    You’re right, Douglas Watts. My reading of “Downpressor Man” just got flipped on his head.

  123. Gavin M. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:26

    [added art, btw]

  124. kingubu said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:26

    Those needing a tiny shot of sunshine to make it to the next checkpoint in our journey through Fudgie’s magnum doofus should note that both Kristol and Krauthammer just got the boot from Time magazine.

  125. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:26

    on its head. Thanks to the genius of Jonah.

  126. TRex said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:30

    That’s his thesis? “Chad is the ni**er of the world?”

    I’m going back to bed.

  127. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:31

    “Does Jonah’s masterpiece have footnotes, endnotes, a bibliography or any such list of references?

    Could you post those next?

    Here’s the table of contents.”

    ooooh, goody. Please, just one page S, N!

    It’s all I want for the War on Christmas!

  128. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:32

    Gah! Ben & Jerry’s is full of patriotic freedom-y saturated fat, but it’s produced and beloved by Northeastern hippies! Are they fascist liberal McCarthyites or essentially conservative? And are/were Ben & Jerry Jewish or white males? If not (or if so), they are now both, or neither, or one or the other…

    Fuck, Gav, did you have to add another layer of confusion and cognitive dissonance to this quagmire?

  129. PhysioProf said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:33

    I just read the table of contents to my wife–who has no idea who Jonah Goldberg is–and she could not believe that it was not some kind of elaborate joke.

    BTW, can someone tell me about the origins of the Pantload appellation?

  130. Derelict said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:34

    Kristol and the Kraphammer to be replaced by Ponnuru? Christ on a skateboard! I can only guess that Time’s editorial board has decided that what the reader really wants is right-wing lunatics spewing completely unsourced and demonstrably false bullshit onto its pages. So it’s probably only a matter of time, so to speak, before the Doughy Pantload is named editor in chief.

  131. dBa said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:35

    Ben & Jerry’s Fascist line of ice cream differs in many ways from classical Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I don’t deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point.

  132. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:35

    You’re initial inclination was the same as mine, dadanarchist: Straight to the footnotes!

  133. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:38

    Do we know if gbear (the one and only original gbear) is OK? I hope the troll doesn’t have him bound and gagged under a bridge somewhere…

  134. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:38

    You’re initial inclination was the same as mine, dadanarchist: Straight to the footnotes!

    No dice–to have footnotes implies that you have faith in experts. We now know, thanks to Jonah, that “faith in experts,” or, worse, “science,” is the very mark of the leftofascist beast.

  135. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:38

    BTW, can someone tell me about the origins of the Pantload appellation?

    Norbizness coined the term back in 2004.

  136. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:39

    “You’re initial inclination was the same as mine, dadanarchist: Straight to the footnotes!”

    Not that I expect anything other than deliberate misreadings and unhinged lunacy, but I just have to look!

  137. Caveat said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:40

    Tigrismus,

    As a practising comedo- and other kinds of fascist (and non-Jew according to the new definition), I take umbrage at the implication that I would endorse scabs when I much prefer inchoate suppurating lesions such as the one we observe in the gibbering bloviation before us.

  138. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:41

    No dice–to have footnotes implies that you have faith in experts. We now know, thanks to Jonah, that “faith in experts,” or, worse, “science,” is the very mark of the leftofascist beast.

    Agreed, but according to the TOC there’s “Notes” in that there book. Fifty-four pages of them!

  139. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:41

    Not that I expect anything other than deliberate misreadings and unhinged lunacy, but I just have to look!

    Well, there’s also the exciting possibility that 3/4 of the notes will cite comments and emails from Corner readers. I guess that wouldn’t be too fascist of him, as long as he double-checked that none of them were experts in anything.

  140. Incontinentia Buttocks said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:42

    Ben & Jerry’s is the Apfelstreudel of liberal fascism.

  141. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:43

    hose needing a tiny shot of sunshine to make it to the next checkpoint in our journey through Fudgie’s magnum doofus should note that both Kristol and Krauthammer just got the boot from Time magazine.

    Yeah, well don’t get busy with your end zone dance, they are negotiating with Ramesh Ponnuru. IOW, outsourcing their neocon column-writing to India!

    I just read the table of contents to my wife–who has no idea who Jonah Goldberg is–and she could not believe that it was not some kind of elaborate joke.

    That’s because she’s been brainwashed by liberally-biased ‘facts’ by liberal fascist teachers and professors. Female teachers and professors, even!

    So it’s probably only a matter of time, so to speak, before the Doughy Pantload is named editor in chief.

    Well, considering that Ponnuru wrote Party of Death, I’d say the two would be a perfect bookends match.

  142. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:45

    “Well, there’s also the exciting possibility that 3/4 of the notes will cite comments and emails from Corner readers. I guess that wouldn’t be too fascist of him, as long as he double-checked that none of them were experts in anything.”

    It’s probably a list of pamphlets published by Ayn Randers… Or, more beguilingly, Dougbhob’s collected thoughts on the link between obscure Star Trek episodes, discontinued 80′s candy, and the objectively fascist tendencies of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

  143. Percyprune said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:45

    Goldberg: worthless loser.

  144. Jonah - Doughy Victim of Fascismitis said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:46

    Only fascists use photoshop!!

  145. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:47

    That’s because she’s been brainwashed by liberally-biased ‘facts’ by liberal fascist teachers

    Don’t forget, the teachers themselves were trained at Brown and Swarthmore…because, you know, that’s where schoolteachers are trained. At ivies and exclusive liberal arts institutions with tuition upwards of $40,000.

  146. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:53

    Liposuction as alternative energy in an engine.

    Sure beats tying fat people up to grinding mills and whipping them to make flour…

  147. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:56

    From Update 2: “Bethune…said the attempt to circumnavigate the globe would begin from Valencia in Spain on March 1 next year…”

    Valencia, huh? That’s where they burn shit to celebrate St. Joseph’s Day. The Nazis burned stuff. And Bethune is going to burn human fat. Fascists all.

  148. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:56

    J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 19:40

    The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.

    Mazel tov, gentlemen.

    L’chaim, I’m sure.

  149. Peter Tosh said,

    December 19, 2007 at 20:59

    Seen, when yeh taught yeh hear me seh, “I wouldn’t like to be a flea underneath your collar, man” that was not the completification of my thoughts on that matter, seen?

    What I and I actually meant to say, but the shit-stem would not allow it, and I want you to listen close, was …

    “I wouldn’t like to be a Cheetoh underneath your collar, man.”

    Cuz then, y’know, the crumbs get all itchy and then wet when you sweat, seen ?

    Patrice Lumumba. Me’ ere say. Don’t forget him.

  150. Molly said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:00

    Jonah has now eclipsed one of my favorite SNL moments (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/02/02chardball.phtml)


    Chris Matthews: Dear Lord. Belafonte! Hit me with a quick one!

    Harry Belafonte: The war in Iraq is in a minstrel show!

    Chris Matthews: Fantastic! Another!

    Harry Belafonte: Winston Churchill was a house Negro!

    Chris Matthews: One more time!

    Harry Belafonte: Poodles are the black man of the dog world!

  151. dadanarchist said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:00

    “Goldberg: worthless loser.”

    I disagree. Loser, yes – but worthless?

    Hardly?

    The man is an unintentional hilarity machine!

  152. Principal Blackman said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:01

    Re: Update II–Clearly, this boat is nothing more than a mobile laboratory for this Mengele of Liberal Fascists.

  153. histrogeek said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:06

    “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.”
    Between that and the elementary school stormtroopress, I’m being to admire Jonah for his elegant economy of language. It’s amazing. Like a black hole of talent.

    And then the whole issue of Hitler vegetarianism AGAIN!!. Was Lucianne stingy with the meat growing up? If he had read any account of people who had been subjected to Hitler’s “conversations” like Ciano, he would have realized that Hitler went on at great length about EVERYTHING.

  154. Snort said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:07

    Fat powered liberal fascist botormoats? The Jewish white guy armada will really have to double stock the Cheetos and beans so the sails of the doughy load fleet will fill with the “Wind of the Righteous.”

  155. Lesley said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:25

    Gavin,

    Ben and Jerry’s makes an icecream called “Half Baked” – this would seem to be a suitable template for the Jonah totalitarian icecream.

    Contains CHUNKS.

  156. a different brad said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:25

    As a single male in NYC, I welcome my unexpected conversion to Judaism. Temple is the place to meet ladies.

  157. Some Guy said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:25

    If health and exercise are fascist traits, doesn’t that make Pres’nit McJogsalot the king fuhur premier of fascism?

  158. PatKing said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:26

    You know, just because Hitler’s doctors suggested a vegetarian diet would cut down on his severe flatulence (look it up) doesn’t mean he WAS a vegetarian. I would rely on the word of those around him, who note that he loved Bavarian sausages and stuffed pigeons. But then, what would his cook know about his diet? Certainly “Hitler claimed” is a good semantic sidestep to avoid these facts!

  159. FlipYrWhig said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:30

    Well, considering that Ponnuru wrote Party of Death

    I always get that title mixed up with Bordello of Blood.

  160. r€nato said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:30

    You know, just because Hitler’s doctors suggested a vegetarian diet would cut down on his severe flatulence (look it up) doesn’t mean he WAS a vegetarian.

    I believe this merely serves to reinforce Jonah’s point.

    I ate a salad for lunch today, and strangely I feel this temptation to annex the Sudetenland.

  161. Jay B. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:31

    The white man, oppressed as ever, is indeed the Jew of Liberal Fascism, but instead of a behind-the-scenes bank-running, Rothschild-esque, hook-nosed puppeteering of the economy — they just do it right out in front by running the world, leading many of its most powerful nations and its international commerce.

    It’s a perfect analogy.

    Plus, as a billionaire White Jew, George Soros is both a victim and perpetrator of liberal fascism, which is just like a white man.

  162. Candy said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:34

    I haven’t been able to come up with anything to say about the Doughy Tome. I log on, pull up Sadly,No, read the latest installment, read the hilarious comments . . . and I got nothin’. I stare at the screen for a while, and eventually I just wander away from the monitor, feeling as though someone stuck a little malt mixer through my ear and gave my brains a whirl.

    Are we absolutely, positively sure this book isn’t a joke? I just can’t believe that even this puny whackadoodle could believe this shite.

  163. Clayton M. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:34

    How could I be Jewish? My mother wasn’t a white man?

  164. El Cid said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:34

    “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    – J. Jonah Goldisberg, 2007, “Liberal Fatcysts, My Sumr Projict”

    I am taken back to the golden days of the Clinton presidency, when William Pierce, who was completely not a “Liberal Fascist”, would use the medium of shortwave radio to communicate his in-depth ideas to such luminaries as Timothy McVeigh.

  165. horatius said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:35


    Those needing a tiny shot of sunshine to make it to the next checkpoint in our journey through Fudgie’s magnum doofus should note that both Kristol and Krauthammer just got the boot from Time magazine.

    And replaced them with Ramesh Ponnuru. They are just swapping turds there at Time. Those two were beginning to smell.

  166. Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:35

    Shalom gentlemen.

  167. JKehr said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:35

    When does he get to the chapter on Prescott Bush?

  168. FlipYrWhig said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:36

    Would the ingredients of “Totalitarian Temptation” be items Jonah likes, like Cheetohs and salami, or ones the libero-fascists would favor, like tofu and Dachau organic honey?

  169. Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:38

    The bottom line is, you liberals are facsists just like the nazis because you want to silence the free-speech of anyone you don’t agree with using politically correct speech codes at places such as college campuses and the work place. Those were the exact tactics the nazis used, Jonah Goldberg was right Hitler was a liberal facsist just like modern day American liberals.

  170. Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:40

    The bottom line is, you liberals love to criticize Patriots like Jonah Goldberg because you hate America and have to demonize anyone who loves this Country.

  171. SamFromUtah said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:42

    I just can’t believe that even this puny whackadoodle could believe this shite.

    I have a hard time believing it too. And an even harder time believing that these knuckledraggers are so eager to have their “thoughts” set down in a physically enduring form like books. They must figure that everyone will forget all about it after the publisher’s check clears, just like they will.

  172. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:42

    If he had read any account of people who had been subjected to Hitler’s “conversations” like Ciano, he would have realized that Hitler went on at great length about EVERYTHING.

    Kind of like how Jonah wrote 400 pages on the thesis “tag ur teh hilter now no tagbacks infinity.”

    I do not deny that Doughy fascism differs from classical fascism. Indeed, it is central to my point.

  173. Bookish said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:45

  174. edgyspice said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:46

    The bottom line is, you liberals are facsists just like the nazis because you want to silence the free-speech of anyone you don’t agree with using politically correct speech codes at places such as college campuses and the work place.

    Is that you, David Horowitz?

  175. Hoosier X said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:47

    Saul is trying to silence liberal criticism of Jonah’s book by saying we are all fascists. Therefore Saul is a facsist.

    I bet Saul eats really healthy … no, that’s ludicrous, I bet he gets a lot of exercise … no, that’s highly unlikely … I bet he’s nice to animals , no, probably not.

    I guess Saul isn’t a fascist! Sorry about that!

  176. Righteous Bubba said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:48

    And Now, Your Daily Liberal Fascism Moment of Zen

    Consider your position, Jewish white man: are you lampshade-maker or lampshade, and who supplies the light?

  177. Jake H. said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:53

    The bottom line is, you liberals love to criticize Patriots like Jonah Goldberg because you hate America and have to demonize anyone who loves this Country.

    Er…but he wrote an entire book about how America is populated by fascists and ruled by a fascist government. Doesn’t sound like he loves the country all that much to be honest.

  178. El Cid said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:53

    The bottom line is, you liberals are facsists just like the nazis because you want to silence the free-speech of anyone you don’t agree with using politically correct speech codes at places such as college campuses and the work place.

    Is that you, David Horowitz?

    You laugh now, but there is not a campus in American where anyone can say anything nice about Republicans or talk about how Jesus wants us to bomb Iran without there being some speech code letting liberals look at them people funny or go use the bathroom.

    There was this one kid at this one college who tried to make everyone know that having sex would kill America culture but all you liberal fascists ignored him so he had to threaten other people and then beat hisself up so that people could know he was not joking.

    Back in the 1960s when Hillary was running LBJ’s totalitarian welfare programs from her college dorm room, David Horowitz had to run around with Black Panthers and promote their armed resistance so that the middle class would finally realize what the terrible totalitarian threat would someday be caused by Hillary Clinton 40 years from then.

    This differs from classic Black Pantherism, but this could be called Premature Anti-Islamo-Pantherism, yet this is not my point, which is something that what I mean by that, and this is central to my point.

  179. Hattie said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:54

    This book cries out for the graphic novel treatment, such as was done for Berube’s *What’s Liberal About the Liberal Arts?”

  180. jimmiraybob said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:58

    The bottom line is, you liberals are facsists just like the nazis because you want to silence the free-speech of anyone you don’t agree with using politically correct speech codes at places such as college campuses and the work place.

    Who wants to silence the Doughbob? The ridicule has been absolutely the most rib-tickling, knee-slapping, drink-spewing entertainment event to come down the wingpike in hours. I’m looking forward to the ridiculing of his future work.

  181. Smut Clyde said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:59

    Well, considering that Ponnuru wrote Party of Death,
    Hardcore fans will differ, but that wasn’t Vincent Price’s best movie.

  182. Hoosier X said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:01

    Saul, could you go into a little more detail about how we are trying “to silence the free-speech” of Jonah Goldberg?

    A little criticism, a little ridicule, a little mockery, a little pointing out that his facts don’t check out with reality. He’s a big, strong conservative man. Surely he can take a little criticism.

    I’m also really curious about how you, as a rabbi, feel about Jonah comparing the current plight of the white man under liberal fascism to the plight of the Jews under the Nazis.

    Me, I think it’s a little overstated.

  183. Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:02

    The bottom line is, anyone who shouts down and rushes the stage during a speech because they don’t agree with what the speaker is saying such as what happened to Jim Gilchrest, Ann Coulter, Tom Tancredo and David Horowitz, is a facsist.. Go ahead defend what the liberals did I dare you, I’ll tear your arguements to shreds.

  184. El Cid said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:03

    David Horowitz tried to kill America by helping the Black Panthers shoot everybody. I am tired of the liberal fascists holding him up as a role model.

  185. tigrismus said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:04

    I do not deny that Doughy fascism differs from classical fascism. Indeed, it is central to my point.

    Awesome.

  186. Tim (the other one) said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:05

    Jonah’s Book + Sadly, No ! + Commenters = Funtastic !!

  187. Flying Fox said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:06

    Most adult liberals deplore the actions you refer to Saul. That was a bunch of immature college students thinking they knew how to make a difference. They’ll grow up, and be ashamed of their immaturity. That isn’t Fascism. That’s being childish.

  188. pedestrian said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:09

    yet this is not my point, which is something that what I mean by that, and this is central to my point.

    Pure poetry. Rumsfeldian even.

  189. jnfr said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:14

    If health and exercise are fascist traits, doesn’t that make Pres’nit McJogsalot the king fuhur premier of fascism?

    Some Guy is right! And, and Bill Clinton loved cheezbergers so much that he gave himself a heart attack, so clearly he is a beloved conservative and on the side of gopod.

    Things get clearer and clearer.

  190. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:19

    Saul,

    Can. WhoopAss. “Bottom Line”

    Now shut the fuck up.

  191. actor212 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:21

    Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:35

    Shalom gentlemen.

    Saul said,

    December 19, 2007 at 21:38

    The bottom line is, you liberals are facsists just like the nazis because you want to silence the free-speech of anyone you don’t agree with using politically correct speech codes at places such as college campuses and the work place. Those were the exact tactics the nazis used, Jonah Goldberg was right Hitler was a liberal facsist just like modern day American liberals.

    Do us a favor, Saul: don’t “shalom” us if you’re going to go off and insult us.

    God…you know, my Father…will strike you down for your blasphemies.

  192. Michael said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:38

    So, basically, Goldberg’s entire book is a prolonged (prolonged) exercise in the fallacy of the undistributed middle.

    Fascists wore pants.
    Al Gore wears pants.
    Al Gore is a fascist. QED!

  193. Innocent Bystander said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:44

    This opus dopus might make the record book as the most ridiculed, least purchased book of all time. Seriously, who on the left would want to enrich Mr. Pantloads by buying this POS? (Except of course a site like SN who is doing us a public service). I suppose there are a few suckers on the right that’ll shell out their money, but if there aren’t any pictures, that’s dicey. I think this will follow Ann Coulter’s latest flop right into oblivion.

    But, the ridicule…it’ll go on forever.

  194. El Cid said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:46

    Opus Dopus! I am a bat!

    Opus Kadabra! Abra-Ka-Dopus! Walla Walla Washington!

  195. norbizness said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:53

    I’ve decided that people who respond to obvious trolls or troll parodies are 14.5 times worse than the trolls or troll parodies themselves.

  196. pedestrian said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:53

    HAH!
    I just saw that Jonah’s special ice cream flavor is “vanilla with fudge covered waffle.”
    Sounds just about right.

  197. Lesley said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:54

    Jonah’s Book + Sadly, No ! + Commenters = Funtastic !!

    update:
    Jonah’s Book + (Sadly, No ! + Commenters) – (Saul aka Gary Ruppert) = Funtastic !!

  198. Crooked Timber » » The Goldberg Variations said,

    December 19, 2007 at 22:59

    [...] landmark publication of Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism: A Sourcebook for Blog Snark has set me to wondering: where have I seen this kind of thing before? And then it hit me . . . [...]

  199. J— said,

    December 19, 2007 at 23:05

    Dreadlocks White males can’t live in a tenement yard suburbia
    Dreadlocks White males can’t live in a tenement yard suburbia
    Too much su-su su-su su-su, too much watchie watchie you
    Too much su-su su-su su-su, too much watchie what you are

  200. Element 5 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 23:07

    Wow. You can practically see the shattered wiring in Jonah’s brain snapping and sparking in weird disarray. The funniest aspect of this attempt to transfer fascism from the shoulders of the Right (on to Liberals, of all people) is that it’s so much like what the Soviet Politburo used to do……”disappear” people from photos, insert new ones, changing reality to suit their political aims.

    It’s so howlingly funny/awful, in its sweaty desperation. The knuckleheads in the wingnut bleachers must be squirming with embarrassment over this……holy shit, after all of that time, this was his best effort? I actually feel more than a little pity for them.

  201. Element 5 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 23:19

    The bottom line is, anyone who shouts down and rushes the stage during a speech because they don’t agree with what the speaker is saying such as what happened to Jim Gilchrest, Ann Coulter, Tom Tancredo and David Horowitz, is a facsist.. Go ahead defend what the liberals did I dare you, I’ll tear your arguements to shreds.

    Hmmmmm……..so, if surviving members of the German High Command were on a stage celebrating the anniversary of the establishment of Dachau and trying to reinvigorate the Nazi movement by calling for “a vigorous new holocaust!”, you’d applaud politely? I mean, anything less than that would be….fascistic, right?

    Go ahead Saul baby, tear yourself a new one.

  202. The Frito Pundito said,

    December 19, 2007 at 23:39

    According to the Daily Mail article, the volunteers’ liposuction produced 10 liters of human fat (!), which made 7 liters of biofuel, which will power the craft 15 km. So how far would they get by liposcutioning Jonah Goldberg? I submit for the good of science he should submit to this, and in turn all distances by biofuel vehicles in the future will be measured in “Goldbergs” (km/kg of excess body weight). At least that way he will be remembered for something useful.

  203. actor212 said,

    December 20, 2007 at 0:18

    Element 5 said,

    December 19, 2007 at 23:19
    Hmmmmm……..so, if surviving members of the German High Command were on a stage celebrating the anniversary of the establishment of Dachau and trying to reinvigorate the Nazi movement by calling for “a vigorous new holocaust!”, you’d applaud politely? I mean, anything less than that would be….fascistic, right?

    Actually, there’s a group of rather intimidating African American fellows who shout rather loudly in Times Square about Africa being the cradle of humanity and how Jews were really Africans and how they represent the lost tribe of Judea.

    I’d love for Saul to come down and listen. Politely, of course.

  204. Smut Clyde said,

    December 20, 2007 at 0:37

    dBa said,
    I really was hoping to wake up and be an SS(sic) Stormtrooper

    AH, at last I see the joke.
    However, the error is one that would only matter to someone who has conducted intensive original research into the history of fascism.

  205. pedestrian said,

    December 20, 2007 at 0:38

    Saul is Jewish in exactly the same way that George Costanza is an architect.

  206. Caveat said,

    December 20, 2007 at 0:42

    Saul is Jewish? I thought he was a flippin’ Anglican!

  207. Kathleen said,

    December 20, 2007 at 0:56

    If we just pulled these Sadly No threads together and published them, we would have 400 pages not only hilarious, but way more informative and accurate.

  208. Hoosier X said,

    December 20, 2007 at 1:42

    Jim Gilchrest, Ann Coulter, Tom Tancredo and David Horowitz

    Funny thing about all these incidents … they all got to speak.

  209. gbear said,

    December 20, 2007 at 1:45

    Ben and Jerry’s makes an icecream called “Half Baked” – this would seem to be a suitable template for the Jonah totalitarian ice cream.

    Lesley, We have Ben and Jerry’s ice cream bars in that flavor at the office gift shop. It’s awful stuff. It’s vanilla ice cream with a center core of tasteless cookie dough. It’s got a flat brownie like pad on one side, and drizzled chocolate on the other side which immediately breaks apart and falls on to your clothes or the floor when you bite into it. It is indeed the perfect doughy pantstain concoction.

  210. mdhatter said,

    December 20, 2007 at 1:46

    Soylent Biodiesel, It’s Green, It’s People.

  211. Harry Cheddar said,

    December 20, 2007 at 1:53

    You just know if Jonah is ever publicly confronted on any of his preposterous horseshit, he’ll try to laugh it off as some kind of Coulteresque hyperbole, and be all, “can’t you liberals take a joke”?

  212. gbear said,

    December 20, 2007 at 2:03

    I don’t know or care if gbear’s gay, but that has to be fake. No one thinks Jonah’s hot.

    Hysterical Woman, I didn’t write any comment about Jonah being hot. Did it get deleted? I can’t find it now. Should I be flattered that I have a stalker?

    Actually, I’m rather contented and happy about being gay. It makes me a card-carrying pantload-defined fascist. I’d hate to be just another boring old white male.

  213. Smut Clyde said,

    December 20, 2007 at 2:17

    Brad R. must have been checking IPs:

    Der Rocketführer said,
    at 19.55
    Saul- I know that’s you, you homophobic loony.

  214. brooksfoe said,

    December 20, 2007 at 5:49

    And those of us who are both white males AND Jews are totally in demand. The Nazis and the liberals have to use draft picks to see who gets to put us in their camps.

  215. Arky - Fascistanata said,

    December 20, 2007 at 6:59

    The knuckleheads in the wingnut bleachers must be squirming with embarrassment over this……holy shit, after all of that time, this was his best effort? I actually feel more than a little pity for them.

    Nuh-uh. You’re assuming they’re capable of feeling (or even spelling) embarrassment.

    If they didn’t drop dead of shame when the Prexident Bush began taking regular dumps on the Constitution Bonah’s foambook won’t make them stir a whisker.

  216. Ummmm, Wow « Constitution Club said,

    December 20, 2007 at 9:54

    [...] Ummmm, Wow Filed under: Idiots — Andre the Defiant @ 12:54 am The next time E decides to lecture us about some commenters from a few left wing blogs and expects an intelligent response, he has to answer for Jonah, and the scribblings in his new tome: [...]

  217. Adam Riff™ in a box » The Right Stuff said,

    December 20, 2007 at 10:09

    [...] 03 September 02 August 02 January 02 September 01 The Right Stuff • And Now, Your Daily Liberal Fascism Moment of Zen [...]

  218. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    December 20, 2007 at 15:07

    Soylent Green! It’s fasc…..uh,…..liberals!

  219. aleks said,

    December 20, 2007 at 17:58

    First they came for the Jews, and I said nothing, because I was Aryan.
    Then they came for the white man, and I said nothing, because now I’m Jewish.

  220. aleks said,

    December 20, 2007 at 18:26

    Maybe he’s taking one for the team? Ramesh Ponnuru can say “No, liberals aren’t fascists,” and everyone will report how fair and balanced he is. Then he’ll say “But they’re still the Party of Death,” and the pundits will take out their measuring sticks, rememberthat they just called Ponnuru a moderate centrist, and rule that the responsible, nonpartisan position is that the Dems are indeed not fascists but mere murderers.

  221. phil said,

    December 20, 2007 at 19:32

    It’s worse when you realize this book was ghost-written by Ignatius J. Reilly.

  222. Gary Ruppenfuhrer said,

    December 21, 2007 at 0:07

    The Jew is using the black as muscle against you. And you are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, whitey? Just sit there?

  223. AMERICAN NONSENSE » Jonah Goldberg Presents: The White Man’s Shoah said,

    December 23, 2007 at 16:44

    [...] [Promoted by DHinMI; some may squawk that this is an offensive parody, that it’s making a glib joke about one of the darkest, most evil events of modern history just to make a cheap political point.  Well, they would be correct that there’s a cruel joke here, but the cruelty isn’t in this diary.  This diary just spells out the absurd implications inherent in Jonah Goldberg’s ridiculous and offensively absurd screed.] “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.” [...]

  224. 5thKolumnisto said,

    December 23, 2007 at 22:49

    Oh, for the love of…

    As a newly discovered Jew, I am offended that Goldberg’s cover seems to have been inspired by Aryan Wear T-Shirt designs (modeled by the White Nationalist pedo-pop duo Prussian Blue at Hatewatch.)

  225. jgmurphy said,

    December 24, 2007 at 20:30

    “A salad is the hot dog of liberal fascism, and Thousand Island dressing is its ketchup.”

    :”Thousand Island” dressing? isn’t that some sore of creeping liberal multiculturalism that the left is trying to force down the innocent throats of our children? (And don’t forget—-it used to be called RUSSIAN dressing!!!!!)

    Where exactly ARE these “Thousand Islands”? They’re probably out in the ocean somewhere, inhabited by people who we know aren’t white, and who worship gods that look like the cocktail stirrers in Chinese restaurants. No wonder the left is trying to force all those brown pagans into our all-American lettuec and tomatoes.

  226. Politic crap news » Jonah Goldberg Presents: The White Man’s Shoah said,

    December 30, 2007 at 8:17

    [...] December 22nd, 2007 [Promoted by DHinMI; some may squawk that this is an offensive parody, that it’s making a glib joke about one of the darkest, most evil events of modern history just to make a cheap political point.  Well, they would be correct that there’s a cruel joke here, but the cruelty isn’t in this diary.  This diary just spells out the absurd implications inherent in Jonah Goldberg’s ridiculous and offensively absurd screed.] “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.” [...]

  227. jimmiraybob said,

    January 12, 2008 at 22:55

    “The Goldberg Principle”
    You can prove any thesis to be true if you make up your own definitions of words.

    I do not deny that Doughy definitions differ from classical definitions. Indeed, it is central to my point. For a Doughy definition must not define the character of an object or an idea too narrowly, that could lead to a unique and identifiable trait – in this way lies madness.
    A Doughy definition must remain fluid and must maximize the freedom of the object and cannot be hindered by rhyme, reason or independent ideas that exist outside of the Doughy mind. The Doughy definition must leave the object or idea unfettered and unconstrained and free to float like the butterfly, for this way lies maximum obfuscation and plausible deniability.

    A passage from The Tao of Jonah

  228. JaDeD1 said,

    January 17, 2008 at 6:09

    God, what a bunch of tools. It amazes me that you are all able to judge a WHOLE body of work (That no one has read) by a few strategic talking points(Hannity and Rhodes would be sooo proud) But why should I be surprised, both sides touch their money, or their inner child, in an inappropriate way. The funny thing is, that both sides are right, but too arrogant to see it.

  229. James McGee said,

    February 15, 2008 at 3:43

    Incredible. Have ANY of you been in a “liberal” university in the past 10 years. Whiteness–like Jewishness–is consistently linked to greed and capitalism, which in turn is responsible for starvation, draught, aggression, and all genocide. If someone died for any geopolitical reason in the past century, you can be sure a white male conspiracy was at the heart of it. Further, ANYONE who’s read the public statements of the Nation of Islam in the 60s will know that works like those of Amiri Baraka explicitly called for white genocide. And I’m telling you folks, for real, people in the Humanities in tons of elite schools are proud of these legacies. So, yeah, in the realm of ideology, political rhetoric, and justification for totalitarian unity and overturning of the private sphere, white men are, in fact, the new Jews. Like the Jews, their perceived success is hated by the poor and dispossessed. Just look at the comments here emphasizing white privilege to dismiss Goldberg’s argument. Yeah, all white men live in suburbs. Anyone reading whiteness studies articles need only replace the word Whiteness with the word Jewishness to see the parallels. Look a little further–not far–and you’ll find white men, especially Christian ones, linked conspiratorially to Israel again and again in academic discourse. Not to put too fine a point on it.

  230. sovietguy said,

    March 27, 2008 at 18:58

    There are those who would say that i am about as far to the left as one can get, and i don’t see the big deal with the book. We have had our growing pains, but i don’t see anything in the book that is so far out of whack with our history. I take no offense, but i say, “so what?”.

  231. Sadly, No! » Shorter Bryan Fischer said,

    May 15, 2008 at 16:37

    [...] * Cf. [...]

  232. xevycosq ktecd said,

    August 17, 2008 at 5:08

    soxv upohqbtjd spxzd dflxtm otba fwazb joticey

  233. yeap said,

    December 19, 2008 at 10:17

    did you actually read the book? jonah goldberg only points out things that need to be said, but people like you love to take things out of context to make it seem as if hes crazy. the biggest points of the book are about how mussolini and hitler were giant socialists, and that if they were alive today they would consider themselves liberals. the next point the book makes is how woodrow wilson and FDR ran the US like they were saddam hussein. they thought they could do whatever they wanted because they could do no wrong. FDR sent military equipment to the UK during WW2, and he put the navy in the pacific to stop the flow of merchant ships into japan. Woodrow wilsion established the income tax and federal reserve. woodrow wilson was the first president to require all citizens to pay taxes as a means of keeping track of people, and FDR gave every american citizen a number (sound like how the nazis gave jews numbers during the holocaust). i think FDR was a great president, and so was clinton. though that does not mean that history did not happen and that you shouldnt be able to write a book that simply says that if any president tried to do the things that woodrow wilson or FDR did, their would be an overthrow of the government and mass rioting. most people dont even know that 250 thousand people tried to overthrow the whitehouse during FDR’s term. woodrow wilson, FDR, Harry Truman, and Lyndon B Johnson. what do all of these men have in common? yes they were all democrats, but they were also all responsible for the largest wars in the 20th century.

  234. “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism” « The United States of Jamerica said,

    June 22, 2009 at 16:55

    [...] And yes, Goldberg actually wrote that. [...]

  235. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 6, 2009 at 16:56

    did you actually read the book? jonah goldberg only points out things that need to be said, but people like you love to take things out of context to make it seem as if hes crazy. the biggest points of the book are about how mussolini and hitler were giant socialists, and that if they were alive today they would consider themselves liberals.

    That is completely crazy. As is Jonah’s crackpot explanation of why the white man is the Jew of Liberal Fascism.

  236. Various items said,

    December 22, 2010 at 14:36

    [...] phenomena — the superb Sadly, No series highlighting some of the most inane passages (here, here, here, here, here, and here, just for starters) more than satisfies that [...]

  237. ????? said,

    December 31, 2010 at 23:27

    Goldberg actually wrote that

  238. ipad case said,

    April 23, 2011 at 17:18

    Goldberg is sadness

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