Shorter K-Lo
Posted on November 25th, 2007 by Gavin M.
The Vindication of Rush H. Limbaugh
Above: Ee-woo.
- If we reimagine the standard definitions of ‘cloning,’ ‘lies,’ deception,’ ‘curing-versus-causing cancer,’ and ‘up’ and ‘down,’ then it can be said that my boyfriend,* Mr. Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, was incredibly right in railing against liberal so-called ‘science’ — and also against certain sick people who are now dead, or might as well be.**
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
* Ms. Lopez has never, to our knowledge, had a boyfriend.
** Were you by any chance aware that the Bush-following Australian PM, John Howard, has suffered a defeat via the Labor Party’s Kevin Rudd?
The left loves to mock patriots like Rush Limbaugh and anyone who loves America and believes that we are a Noble Nation. If you liberals hate America so much why don’t move to Cuba? Its only 90 miles of the shore.
My dad has Parkinson’s. Let me tell you this about Mr. Pirece of Shit Rush Limbaugh … If I ever meet him face-to-face, I will have no problem punching him in his fat, fucking, lying, America-hating face and dealing with the consequences.
The fact that he was not roundly hounded and hooted off the air waves by outraged conservatives for his childish, hateful attack on Michael J. Fox is, by itself, an ample condemnation of the conservative movement.
Saul, if you hate humanity so much that you would defend this piece of shit, why don’t you move in with Osama bin Laden?
Michael J. Fox is a piece of garbage who deserves anything anyone says about him. I hope he drops dead from his parkinsons disease. He’s a little sniviling manipulative piece of trash.
And Sol’s self-immolation continues. Missing articles, and a misspelled “off” that implies his own racism. Tsk. Pity.
Michael J. Fox is a piece of garbage who deserves anything anyone says about him. I hope he drops dead from his parkinsons disease. He’s a little sniviling manipulative piece of trash.
More of that caring and compassion conservatives are world-famous for, eh Sol?
Parkinson’s in the house here too, btw.
There are almost no words for the wishful flaying of reality in this piece. It’s really like black = white.
And this concludes today’s lesson on how to spot Projection.
Saul, show me one place where anyone here said they hate America.
Don’t you just love the way that faggot Michael J. Fox used his disease to try to influence the Senate race in Missouri in 06? What a piece of trash!
The worst thing about conservatives is how they hate America (and everything that is good in humankind) in exchange for … what, exactly?
Anyone who criticizes Rush Limbaugh for speaking words of patriotism hates America. Because thats what Rush Limbaugh does, he loves his Country and constantly defends it. Therefore anyone who hates Rush Limbaugh must also hate America, because all Rush does is defend America from its enemies.
Man, Sol’s just hitting all the high spots tonight. Now the good “rabbi” has resorted to using an obscenity to describe Michael J Fox. Shall we start a pool on when Sol goes off the deep end?
Mz. Jackie Lopez! In-vitro fertilization clinics regularly destroy shitloads of embryos! Your thoughts? Hello?
Why the fuck is she bringing Rush up again? (I’m sure there’s a better way to phrase that, but I can’t be arsed.) The man is such a fucker that it is hard to keep track of all the nasty shit he says. Has Loopy been laying up nights thinking that everyone hates Rush because he was mean to MJF? Poor thing, if only she knew everyone hates Rush because he’s a lying dirt bag. All reminding us of one example of his dirtbaggery will do is make us hate him even more.
Apparantly Rush’s staunch defense of America from its enemies didn’t begin until he got out of serving in ‘Nam. Apparently Rush’s great conservative patriotism was also not enough to propel him to vote for Ronald Reagan (or anyone else) for president when he had the chance; he didn’t register to vote until after Reagan left office.
It appears to me that Saul is raping Swift’s dessicated corpse, over and over again.
I call shenanigans.
But don’t you get it? We need to apologize to Rush, because everyone was so mean to him when he made fun of someone’s disease, because that diseased person was advocating for something that just might lead to a cure for his disease, and Rush didn’t like that so he mocked the diseased person, on the air, in front of lots of people, and now we might not need the something that the diseased person was advocating, so we should have known that was coming and, so there! Don’t you feel bad?
Michael J. Fox doesn’t care about helping people. He is a leftwing ideaologe who used his disease to sway voters in an election because he is a partisan hack who wants to turn America into his own little version of a socialist paradise.
Ummm… what does stem-cell research have to do with socialism?
And while you’re at it, what DOES God want with a spaceship?
Michael J. Fox used the issue of stem-cell research to get a democrat elected to the Senate because the democrats are the treasonous pigs who want to turn America into a socialist state.
Saul is an Orthodox Rabbi, seriously.
If you are dying and get involved in some politics to maybe save your life, the rabbi calls you a cocksucker.
Now you can screw around on your computer on the Sabbath to call someone a cocksucker because any law may be broken to save a life…
err, shit.
Wiser words were never spoken by Saul.
It is 1:24 AM Sunday morning were I live, the Sabbath is over and has been for almost an hour and a half.
So, Sol, when MJF made a similar commercial for a Republican, what was that?
I don’t know of any such commercial my friend.
It is 1:24 AM Sunday morning were I live, the Sabbath is over and has been for almost an hour and a half.
Well, you’ve been running your mouth for awhile now, it’s all time stamped. What were you doing on the thread below, Rabbi?
Michael J. Fox KNOWS what Willis was talkin’ about….
There is no such law prohibiting conversation on the Sabbath. I left the Synagouge at 4:00 PM.
Oops, now you do. From 2004:
FOX: Biomedical research could cure hundreds of diseases, save thousands of lives, and prevent millions of tears. I understand that, and so does Arlen Specter. He helped double the funding for biomedical research, more dollars for more research, for more cures.
Arlen gets it. It‘s that simple.
SEN. ARLEN SPECTER ®, PENNSYLVANIA: I‘m Arlen Specter and approved this ad to tell you there is hope for the future.
Saul, that’s a pretty late sunset you get out there.
Well, I would assume that it means Arlen Specter hates America, and should probably be put to death for disagreeing with that great man of science Rush Limbaugh.
It is 1:24 AM Sunday morning were I live, the Sabbath is over and has been for almost an hour and a half.
Saul, your sunset came around midnight?
God, you are stupid.
You pretended to be Orthodox. To make it worse you said you were a Rabbi. You have no idea what you are doing. You probably have LGF cohorts who actually are Jewish, ask them for advice before you try out this troll mechanism again.
saul, baby… you blew it on the sabbath. big time.
There is no law that prohibits conversation either by computer or otherwise on the Sabbath.
Not conversing – working, you dumbshit. Working like typing at a keyboard. Unless you have a trolling macro hooked up to a scheduler that fires off your little pearls of turd-like wisdom at regular intervals like a Sabbath elevator stopping at every floor.
Jackass.
Conversation is not the same as work, it is relaxation which is certainly allowed on the Sabbath which is after all a day of rest.
Saul, what sect do you belong to where the sabbath ends at midnight instead of sunset? i’m curious.
Typing at a keyboard is certainly not considered work in the eyes of God therefore I did not break the Sabbath.
It is 1:24 AM Sunday morning were I live, the Sabbath is over and has been for almost an hour and a half.
Saul, that is what you wrote. I want to know where you were taught that the sabbath ends at midnight instead of at sunset.
Of course the Sabbath ends at sunset every Jew knows that, I meant the day of Saturday on which the Sabbath falls ended at midnight.
It’s nothing like turning on a light? Tell me more about this Orthodox sect you belong to.
Typing is work. Typing is using a machine to turn your motions into text. Work Work. Work.
Messaging: a violation of Shabbos. Because it’s work, you dumb fuck.
C’mon, DTB, isn’t it obvious? It’s the Cuzisedso sect. BTW, notice how he didn’t begin with his customary “Shalom gentlemen”? Cracking like a sidewalk built by the lowest bidder.
There are different schools of thought amongst Orthodox Rabbi’s on what constitutes work on the Sabbath. I am one of many Orthodox Rabbi’s who does not view typing on a keyboard work.
thanks for the explanation, saul. and here i was about to convince myself you are full of shit.
Bullshit.
There is however no consensus amongst Orthodox Rabbi’s on what day to day activities in our modern world constitute work on the Sabbath.
Bullshit.
Like I said there is no consensus he is but one Rabbi.
At a certain point can’t you just admit you don’t know what the hell you are talking about?
You don’t know enough about your subject material to pull it off and you are busted fifteen ways around. You could still salvage a little respect if you just admitted the whole thing was a big piss take. Or you could prove everyone wrong and invite us all to your next religious undertaking.
This is the sect where they start the service by calling Michael J. Fox a faggot, right?
Pass.
He’s not doing much of a job staying in character either. He usually plays the god-bot holier-than-thou thing to the hilt, but the rather bitchy comments above and the use of the f-word aren’t consistent with his usual schtick.
Come on, saul, you’re going to have to do better than that. We here at SN! know something about trolls.
It’s funny, because he would have been stoned for saying this shit at one time. Now, he’d just be called a meshuganeh mofo.
Actually, if you’d followed the link, you’d have seen that he is but six rabbis. And that was on just *one* site that provides a pretty nice summary of the Orthodox view of the Internet and related activities.
You’re so full of shit, ‘Saul.’
Can we get some kind of troll exchange program going with Orcinus? They’ve got one or two that keep popping up with different names and personas, but all doing the same sort of schtick: they pretend to be poor, uneducated folks who don’t know nothin’ (yet they all seem to have damn near perfect spelling, though that tends to change once I point it out), try to get the commenters to feel sympathetic towards them, then start slipping in comments like “golly gee why is it that us white folks can’t be proud of our race?”
I’d really like to see what the locals around here would do with one of those.
Saul should come back as a conservative Buddhist monk named Guatama. That would be awesome!
Saul better watch it or he’ll be driving his karma off a cliff.
I’m going off to bed now, good-night my liberal friends I shall talk to you soon.
Until we speak I again which of course I can’t wait.
Shalom!
“I’m going off to bed now, good-night my liberal friends I shall talk to you soon.
Until we speak I again which of course I can’t wait
Shalom!”
Well, I’m going to give you 5 points for the attempt to get back in character here, but I’m going to have to deduct 12,547 points for general syntax-slaughter and brutal grammarcide.
Personally I think that the Sadly,Nostrils are funnier and more inspired when they are responding to one another — or if desperate, to the original post — than to the provocations of some pie-eater. The whole purpose of the pie-eater is to suck Teh Funny out from the thread, much like Cheney sucking the reliquescent blood out from the body cavities of a two-week-old cadaver through a trochar.
As always, YMMV.
I like America and America likes me
My children, please leave Rabbi Saul alone with all this Sabath stuff, it was meant to be more of a general gudeline than a strict policy.
See, I never imagined that someone would be so dumb to literally buy all this “creating the-world-in-six-days-and-resting-on-the-seventh” shit. Are you fucking kidding me? You know how much work it is? Humans, annoying as they are, have been digging in the ground and discovering that things took, like, millions of years to show up, which is costing me some serious cred, all because of this “six-days” misunderstanding. So, it didn’t take, six days, OK, sue me… Things evolve from each other? Duh! You think I have the time and inclination to craft a gadzilion species just for kicks?
So getting back to this Sabath deal, generally speaking, I rest on most of the other days, too, so I don’t fucking care what you annoying earthlings do or don’t do on Saturdays, but please stop using me as an excuse to do nothing all day and watch college football.
Now, speaking of Michael J. Fox, I’ve seen these movies where he can travel back to the past… Now, will you mf-ing humans be doing this for real, too? You better tell me, since, if you do, that could cause me a lot more embarassment, when it turns out that things weren’t quite exactly as you’ve been told in church…
Is Saul real? Because if he is we really ought to detonate the universe now and have done with it.
I am one of many Orthodox Rabbi’s who does not view typing on a keyboard work.
It’s all open to interpretation, you see. But that stuff about killing the fags, that’s set in stone for realz.
Saul is in no way for real.
Orthodox Jews are so serious about the “No work on the Sabbath” thing that they hire gentiles in their neighborhoods to come over and turn on/off their lights for them on Saturdays. Saul wouldn’t even be able to turn on his computer were he really Orthodox.
No work means no work, other than the bare basic minimum necessary to stay alive. Thus, you can walk (which is a basic biological function), but you can’t drive a car (which is “work”). There is no way anyone would get an exemption for typing on a computer.
I live in a primarily Hassidic area of London. One of the houses on my street has a big sign reading “This house rejects Zionism – Zionism is the shame of the Jewish people”. Around the corner there is a Hassidic school and a Muslim school two buildings apart; at about 4pm the kids from both schools spill out on the street and remain there until the evening, without a single shot fired or rock thrown. Imagine that!
If you Google “Orthodox Jews and Zionism” (without the quotes), I’d say around 95% of the hits are for Orthodox Jewish sites that are opposed to Zionism.
No big surprise, obviously, but I imagine Saul’s idiotic ravings would be extremely offensive to the average Orthodox reader.
Most Rabbis also understand basic punctuation, such as how and apostrophe and an s (‘s) indicates the possessive where the noun does not end in the letter s. As Saul repeatedly commits this error, it is not a typo.
There are crazy “Rabbi’s” out there, but they are rarely uneducated.
Aww Saul, why’d you hijack another thread here? He can’t even spell Synagogue, isn’t that enough to put him on “ignore”?
Regarding this post though, did anyone else try to get through the four chapter long attack on evolutionary science in (I want to say) Ann Coulter’s last book (but I know she’s written something else since)? This is what that article reminds me of. The “let’s talk about science as a political wedge issue” crowd who can’t even get the facts straight.
This is the trouble with many states out here in flyover. Plenty of us living in the cities, thinking we can bring change and affect the vote, but get outside of St. Louis or KC and you have the rest of Missouri or Kansas to vote against. That’s why I voted Nader in 96. Kansas was going to Dole, hands down. The race was nationally going to Clinton hands down, so why not vote to try and get the Greens their %age to get federal funding? Unfortunately, not enough people anticipated the effects of the electoral college as I was planning on.
“my liberal friends”
Kevin? Is that you?
Why was this Saul thing permitted to hijack a perfectly good thread that gave us not only KLo but also Rash Phlegmball? What a waste.
I agree! I think K-Lo looks quite fetching in her new hat. And she is as crazy as always.
Surely there is better material there.
I’m with Lex. Ignore Saul. It doesn’t matter whether he’s a real rabbi or a real unicorn. He (if he is a he) is an unmitigated asshole who is not here to argue in good faith about anything. He’s a drunken heckler at a comedy club who will say anything to get attention. Pathetic? Not even.
He’s a troll. Treat accordingly.
This is why the news about stem cells was bittersweet. On one hand, people might get the help they need without worrying about obnoxious politicians. On the other hand, assholes like saul and k. lo. can now say “hurray! You evil libbies didn’t have to kill the BABIEZZ after all!” As if fertility clinics all over the Heartland aren’t throwing out the same BABIEZZ.
Once again, MzNicky has backed up the wisdom truck and delivered a huge pile right to your driveway.
Now, will you use it to grow flowers where the execrable saul can only leave stinking diseased turds?
One can hope…
mikey
The worst thing about conservatives is how they hate America (and everything that is good in humankind) in exchange for … what, exactly?
Enough tax cuts to afford to super-size their combo meal at McDonalds.
That and racism.
Not conversing – working, you dumbshit. Working like typing at a keyboard. Unless you have a trolling macro hooked up to a scheduler that fires off your little pearls of turd-like wisdom at regular intervals like a Sabbath elevator stopping at every floor.
Actually, I wouldn’t rule that out quite yet.
Also, Saul, if you agree with “patriotic” Rushy, then why do you hate the troops?
Dammit, I WANT THAT HAT.
Saul said,
November 25, 2007 at 8:47 (unkill) (autopsy)
Get the Greasemonkey script. Then put Saul on the list. He’ll be gone in a matter of days.
The worst thing about conservatives is how they hate America (and everything that is good in humankind) in exchange for … what, exactly?
Enough tax cuts to afford to super-size their combo meal at McDonalds.
That and racism.
Not conversing – working, you dumbshit. Working like typing at a keyboard. Unless you have a trolling macro hooked up to a scheduler that fires off your little pearls of turd-like wisdom at regular intervals like a Sabbath elevator stopping at every floor.
Actually, I wouldn’t rule that out quite yet.
Also, Saul, if you agree with “patriotic” Rushy, then why do you hate the troops?
If this is a double post, then I apologize.
The worst thing about conservatives is how they hate America (and everything that is good in humankind) in exchange for … what, exactly?
Enough tax cuts to afford to super-size their combo meal at McDonalds.
That and racism.
Not conversing – working, you dumbshit. Working like typing at a keyboard. Unless you have a trolling macro hooked up to a scheduler that fires off your little pearls of turd-like wisdom at regular intervals like a Sabbath elevator stopping at every floor.
Actually, I wouldn’t rule that out quite yet.
Also, Saul, if you agree with “patriotic” Rushy, then why do you hate the troops?
…
RWS: I don’t need to put no steenkin’ scripts on my computer. All it takes is, I see “Saul said” at the top of a comment, I skip to the next comment. So whatever “Saul” (or whoever the troll du jour is) blathers on about isn’t the problem. The problem is when others do read troll comments and then feel compelled to comment on the troll comment and thus engage said troll. Then there goes the thread, and that SUX, I say!
Yes, Doodle Bean, I’d much rather talk about KLo’s stunning chapeau. What’s she going for, do you think? Tibetan princess, or gold-spangled bathing cap with Christmas tree atop?
And hey! How about that toadstool Limpball? Is he the most egregiously offensive sack of whale shit to ever bloviate into a microphone or what?
I’d be delighted to help provide her with a fifty pound solid gold bathing cap if she’ll only promise to use it at the deep end…
mikey
Dammit, I WANT THAT HAT.
If I’m not mistaken, that hat is a chadaa, one of the types of headdress worn by Thai traditional dancers when they’re portraying royalty. How it relates to K-Lo I have no idea but it certainly does her no harm, adding some much-needed height.
How it relates to K-Lo I have no idea but it certainly does her no harm, adding some much-needed height.
I don’t know. In other, full body pics of her, she appears to be generally arrow shaped enough already. Adding a pointy top seems to just accentuate the strange body shape.
Adding a pointy top seems to just accentuate the strange body shape.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a full-length shot of her. I suppose accentuating the strange is one way of improving on the strange.
Adding a pointy top seems to just accentuate the strange body shape.
It makes me think of this
I suppose accentuating the strange is one way of improving on the strange.
HTML Mencken thought this was a good comparison.
(From the Celebrity Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition post, about half way down)
Ted – I remember that post! Genius. Thanks for the reminder.
Wingnuts in Party Hats. Lopez’s image is last but certainly not least.
Maybe her topper is for Rush to perch and twirl upon?
But to sort of wander back to the topic at hand, if you’ve ever read about how reporters write about science (or you’re a scientist who’s ever winced your way through such an AP story about science) you know that health science related articles begin in one of two ways. It’s always either “STUNNING NEW BREAKTHROUGH MAKES EVERYTHING PERFECT 4EVA!” or “OMG GIANT BACTERIA WILL EAT YOUR HEAD IN 1 BITE!” Because “Scientists master technique for splicing frog DNA with newt cells” will make everyone snore.
In other words, I took this leaping up and down over this stunning new breakthrough with a chunk of salt bigger than Jalopez’ head before I even read the article because I know the reporter has to make the story interesting to the average reader and the average reader knows very little about stem-cell research and really the only reason anyone gives a damn is because a bunch of hypocrites called this using embryos MURDER while ignoring IVF clinics. Then I read the article and as I suspected it amounted to: Scientists master new technique.
It does not mean that embryonic cell research is useless and all those poor zygotes were killed for no reason and we can forget about it and grow new hearts from our toenails.
Now, you take whatever the reporter put in the story and the editor didn’t take out of the story and run it through the filter of a “brain” like MzLopez and you wind up with people making asses of themselves because not only do they have Clue Zero about the science involved but they see Stem Cell Research Not from Dead Babiez and lose what little mind they had to begin with.
But of course, having Clue Zero never shuts them up, so forget I said anything.
It’s always either “STUNNING NEW BREAKTHROUGH MAKES EVERYTHING PERFECT 4EVA!” or “OMG GIANT BACTERIA WILL EAT YOUR HEAD IN 1 BITE!”
Too, too true. Awhile back my boss had to field a ton of really obnoxious phone calls because some NYT reporter heard about a (harmless) artificial intelligence research project she was doing in collaboration with some other universities. Said reporter then, instead of calling any of the researchers actually involved, called up his “expert” buddy who talked out of his ass and “confirmed” that the reporter’s misinterpretation of the researchers’ terminology was correct. The result? zOMG COMPUTAR PEOPLEZ INVENT B1G BR0TEhR!!!!1
I saw that get the alarmist freakouts at a handful of lefty blogs. I sat on my hands, since my boss requested that we underlings not try to correct anyone about it since her strategy was to let it blow over, while she acted as the single official spokesperson for the project. Seems to have worked.
I can only imagine what the ‘nuts made of it. As you say, I bet it would be along the lines of “lose what little mind they had to begin with.”
Good golly Solly, Michael Fox is teh faggot?
I kan haz a Tracy Pollen I be a faggot too?
http://www.daylife.com/photo/0doQ5OL0ly1Xb/Michael_J._Fox
Juss axin’.
Work Work. Work.
Hello boys! I missed you!
She looks as though someone dropped a large licorice ice cream on the ground. With added sprinkles.
I thought her hat was photoshopped. You mean someone would actually wear something like that? Was she playing in The King and I?