May
14

Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition




Posted at 13:49 by HTML Mencken

Here I go again, being worse than Hitler in that I am about to engage in Looksism — a practice which, as I have been lectured to “enlightened” by my betters, is “cut from the same cloth” as racism, sexism, etc.

Allrighty, then. So here in my evil, Looksist lab I have been hard at work the last few days tinkering with a fine program — the result of which is seen so often on myspace and facebook profiles — provided by some fellow-travelers in reprehensible, superficial Looksism, who like me also refuse to see the inner beauty of every individual, no matter who or how self-evidently awful. Here are the results of my first attempt:

Nice, huh? But a bit too scattershot. I’m willing to bet a yield of one or maybe two ‘Look-alikes’ will make the point just fine. So now I’m ready to reveal my results. Using their software but incorporating with it my own complex “righteously crass” and “deserving cheap shot” algorithms, I’ve adapted the ‘Celebrity Look-alike’ program for… wingnuts! Enjoy the face pollution!


Batshit Islamophobe Debbie Schlussel = Motley Crue vocalist Vince Neil


=


NRO hack Byron York = Guitarist Gary McDowell of 80s New Wave band Modern English


=


Semi-literate trailer park resident and Renew America contributor Kaye Grogan = Former Whitesnake & Black Oak Arkansas drummer Tommy Aldridge


=


Token Fox News Liberal Susan Estrich = the Salt Vampire from M-113, or Eddie the Iron Maiden mascot, or the Flukeman


=

or

or


Troglodyte fucktard & Boston Globe columnist Jeff Jacoby = hirsute adventurer Captain Caveman


=


Anti-Semite and male-chauvinist pig Vox Day = Weapons manufacturer Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg


=


Tiresome war cheerleader Anne Applebaum = Frau Farbissina, shrill but loving mother of Scott Evil


=


MSNBC hack and former Republican congressman Joe Scarborough = ominous torture droid 8D8, or hapless lab assistant Beaker


=

or


Marie Jon’: bombshell Christianist, circulator of dolchstosslegende, and my co-star and former lover* = Anya Amasova, Agent Triple X of the KGB


=

* – Not really


Indefatigable Bushdrone Special Ed Morrissey = irascible letch Max Bialystock


=


Warmongering asshole Peter Beinart = General Woundwort of Efrafa


=


McCarthyite, Phalangist, homophobe, ventilator of racist opinions, Godfather of Wingnut Punditry and smug blowhard William F. Buckley = insufferable twit Lord Snot


=


Torture advocate Alan Dershowitz = Phineas Freakears of the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers


=


Creep, racist and homophobe John Derbyshire = Tweety Hyde


=


Blathering asshelmet David Adesnik = Professor Julius Kelp


=


Jeff Goldstein = 1970s singer-songwriter Cat Stevens


=


Utterly clueless The Rant columnist Brian Cherry = Iva Davies of the 80s pop group Icehouse


=


Reactionary historian Richard Brookhiser = Lurch of Addams Manor


=


Wingnut legacy-hire and neocon fuckwit John Podhoretz = Azamat Bagatov A Wookiee


=


Pathetic hack Hugh Hewitt = Meat Loaf’s character, Bob, in Fight Club, plus the Bumble


=

plus

=


Insane quack psychiatrist Charles Krauthammer = Blustery space explorer Duck Dodgers


=


RacistscientistCharles Murray = Zombie supervillain Solomon Grundy


=


Crackpot, conspiracy-theorist, and total asshole Steven “Shut-in von Clausewitz” den Beste = talented comic & writer Bruce Vilanch


=


Josh Trevino: stalker, hypocrite, sociopath = Dr. Zaius


=


Pathetic Trekkie wingnut Dafydd ab Hugh = Jeff Albertson, proprietor of The Android’s Dungeon


=


Cretinous retail drone & freelance wingnut webwriter Justin Darr = Vladimir Putin, President of Russia


=


Zhdanovian hack L. Brent Bozell III = Montreal Canadiens (and formerly, Montreal Expos) mascot Youppi!


=


Yuppie scumbag Stephen Green = Oleaginous real-estate agent Gregg Rafalski Stock broker and serial killer Patrick Bateman


=


Shameless pseudoliberal Mickey Kaus = GEICO Caveman, plus comedian and professional annoyance Gilbert Gottfried


=

and

=


Warmongering, metaphor mangling, deadline ignoring, corporate whore Tom Friedman = Avant-garde TV gourmand Swedish Chef


=


American Enterprise Institute, a wretched hive of scum and villainy = The Really Rottens


=


Fascist and psychopath Michael Ledeen = Fifteenth-century French serial killer Gilles de Rais plus drunken, toilet-breathed punk rocker Shane MacGowan


=

plus

=


Richard Perle: horrible, horrible, horrible, neocon scumbag = Kleptomaniacal menace The Hamburglar. “Robble, robble, robble!”


=


Sniveling authoritarian, misogynist, and professional sex-dodger Ben Shapiro = Damien Thorn, the anti-Christ


=


Canadian theatre critic, admirer of totalitarian regimes, self-regarding “conscript” and martyr, and advocate of genocide Mark Steyn = The Onion correspondent and Faulknerian idiot-manchild Benny Upton


=


Sciafe stormtrooper and World Net Daily publisher Joseph Farah = Annoying New Age musician and former Linda Evans fucker Yanni


=


Ann Coulter, Ilsa the s/he-wolf of the GOP = Ric Ocasek of 80s poprock band The Cars


=


Cold-blooded serial centrist (marketed as “liberal”) Michael Kinsley = Record producer and music video pioneer Trevor Horn


=


Arch-plutocrat Rupert Murdoch = Arch-plutocrat Charles Montgomery Burns


=


Jonah Goldberg, stupidest man on Earth = The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man plus toothless yukster and unscrupulous used car dealer Junior Samples


=

plus

=


Reactionary gasbag and professional Target shopper James Lileks = Dr. Chandra, creator of HAL-9000


=


Matt Drudge, tender of the internet’s biggest slime trough = Spy


=


Nixonite paranoid and sleaze Andrew McCarthy = Diminutive and doddering Springfield resident Hans Moleman


=


Smirky home-schooled bigot and disgraced former Washington Post blogger Ben Domenech = Smarmy ‘Yoostabee‘ and Hitchens sycophant Michael Totten


=


The Wall Street Journal‘s ‘net-slime aggregator James Taranto = Atrocious musician and socially-inept doofus Arnold Poindexter


=


Neocon godfather, cultural commissar, and poop-filled cobag Norman Podhoretz = Occultist and self-styled “wickedest man in the world” Aleister Crowley


=


Kathryn Jean Lopez, pathetic virgin and wannabe groupie for rightwing politicos = Grimace, cheerful dullard and would-be milkshake thief


=


‘Crunchy Con’ Rod Dreher = KAOS agent Ludwig von Siegfried


=


Dead-ending Bushist zombie Dan Riehl = Tor Johnson, who portrayed zombies in B-films


=


Solipsistic and temperamental Ann Althouse of the internet breast police = Solipsistic and temperamental Joan Crawford, a nasty person who was just nasty in a nasty way


=


Randroid philosopher and advocate of collective punishment Leonard Peikoff = Sadist and antiquities thief Arnold Toht


=


Neocon mommy, homophobe, and Donald Rumsfeld’s journalistic fellatrix Midge Decter = The Wicked Witch of the West


=


Soulless nerd, television Tory and human-weasel hybrid George Will = Professor John Frink


=


Gin blossomed reactionary historian and S&M enthusiast Paul Johnson = Gin blossomed curmudgeon and actor W.C. Fields


=


Unhinged Unhinged author, internment camps advocate, inspiration to domestic terrorists, and all-around loathesome human being Michelle Malkin = Bat Boy


=


Rebecca Hagelin, Clownhall Kewpie Doll = Ruthless overachiever Tracy Flick


=


TV brownshirt Bill O’Reilly = Landlord and leisure suit model Ralph Furley


=

or

=


Watergate plumber, wingnut shockjock, Hitler fan, and would-be assassin of journalists G. Gordon Liddy = Late tyrant of Iraq and mass murderer Saddam Hussein


=


Indicted media plutocrat and distributor of wingnut welfare Conrad Black = Professional bitch Simon Cowell


=


Authoritarian presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani = The Phantom of the Opera


=


Demented neocon smear-merchant David Frum = Rubber-faced comic Stan Laurel plus accountant and ‘Keymaster’ Louis Tully


=

plus

=


Bigot, former Saddam supporter, and advocate of concentration camps Daniel Pipes = Psycho killer Charles Manson


=


Paul Wolfowitz, architect of the Iraq War = Rygel, former ruler of the Hynerian Empire


=


Glibertarian, transhumanist and passive-aggressive advocate of genocide and assassination Glenn Reynolds = Mark Mothersbaugh of the pioneering synthpunk band DEVO and Cyberdine Systems T-800 model 101


=

and

=


Wingnut cult figure George W. Bush and master war criminal Henry Kissinger = Uncouth and hyperactive adolescent Beavis and dimwitted Springfield Elementary student Ralph Wiggum


=

and

=


Disgraced 43rd President of the United States George W. Bush = Disgraced 37th President of the United States Richard M. Nixon


=

Well, that’s it for the wingnuts. But there is one more cheap shot to deliver (this guy really deserves it):


Indolent, incoherent and puerile leftwing blogger HTML Mencken, a.k.a. Retardo Montalban, a total burnout = The Onion correspondent and total burnout Jim Anchower, or frequent bowler, former Metallica roadie and total burnout Jeffrey Lebowski, or flip-flopping ex-hippie Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN)


=

or

or


Credit: While we all tend to see the same things in these wingnut rorschach faces, I’ve borrowed here from some comrades who first recognized certain inspired similarities. Seb gets credit for the Bozell=Youppi observation, while Norbizness had the original insight about Justin Darr. Gavin first saw that Beinart looked like a bunny, that Perfessor Corncob was just cryin’ for an “energy dome” on his noggin, and that that one particularly clueless GOP salesman was actually a ReihlTor. TBogg, the King of Mean and my personal hero, gets all credit for the gist of the Malkin, Estrich and Hewitt entries.

Updated Credit: Gavin came up with the Hewitt=Bumble, Ledeen=MacGowan, and Frum=Laurel equivalencies. Wolfy=Rygel I stole from Atrios. Roy Edroso was first to compare Pantload to Junior Samples, though he meant the similarity is mental (and he’s not wrong). S,N! commenter Tom Gellhaus suggested the Rudy=Phantom entry, while GKenny claims, accurately, dibs on the Kaus=GEICO caveman comparison.

Elsewhere, Deep Confusion found Lookalikes for Rummy and Chertoff, skippy keeps the Feith, El Poopacabra is hilariously cruel to Kate O’Beirne, Progressive Gold discovers a D’Souza double, Clif at Outside the Tent discovers Mike Huckabee’s doppleganger, as does Otto Man for Fred Thompson, and finally, Doughy Pantload himself fucks-up the whole meme in trying to flatter Chia-headed nimrod Mark Steyn.


Bleggity bleg: If you liked this, please consider hitting our newly-installed tip jar. We’ve got abortions to pay for, gay marriages to buy licences for, sacks of weed to purchase, stacks of Bibles to torch (and gas costs money). And if you’ve already donated, thanks much!

157 Comments »

  1. Brad R. said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:01

    That was amazing. Wow-wah-wee-wah-wow.

  2. Dave said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:20

    Holy crap, that’s a LOT of work. I sure do hope you get paid for this.

  3. Tom Gellhaus said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:22

    Awesome.

    I have a nomination of my own, but don’t have the time just now to grab the pics online. Consider this a request for….

    Rudy Giuliani (excellent picture of him at Sully’s blog, 13 May 2007 2:39 pm) = the FIRST Phantom of the Opera as played by Lon Chaney Sr. in the silent movie of 1925

  4. General Woundwort said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:36

    1. Bite me. Peter Beinart looks nothing like me, with or without the fake ears. He is clearly a clone of the Goldie, the Minnesota Golden Gopher, however.

    2. Brent Bozell looks more like Dr. Zaius to me than Youpie.

  5. spencer said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:50

    It just. Keeps. Going.

    And somehow, still maintains teh funny all the way to the end. Well played.

  6. pAUL said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:52

    Paul Johnson looks like Brick Top from Snatch

  7. D. Sidhe said,

    May 14, 2007 at 14:54

    It started slow, but the Tweety Hyde thing had me howling. Justin Darr, though, always gives me a Pee Wee Herman vibe.

    Norbizness is also responsible for the Jeff Jacoby/Unfrozen Caveman Columnist thing, I believe. And Clif over at Outside the Tent has been taking votes on whether puppet Chris Cox, NRA Executive Director, looks more like puppet Howdy Doodie or puppet Dilly Dally. Clif has vowed to inform the presumably heavily-armed Cox (and wouldn’t that make a great band name?) of the results, so you should get over there and at least make the hit count worth being killed for.

    http://www.outsidethetent.com/wp/archives/you-be-the-judge/

  8. lard lad said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:10

    Where’s Neal “poor people want to steal my money! Nooooo, not my lovely, lovely money” Boortz?

    I’d match him up with the Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

  9. bdr said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:12

    Excellent work.

    Accepting contributions (beyond the tip jar)?

    Byron York also looks like Egghead Jr:

    http://www.johnrozum.com/images/egghead-jr.jpg

  10. Marita said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:14

    How dare you, HTML. That photograph of Trevino was taken on a day when someone, somewhere, had a wedding. Have you no decency?

  11. Phoenix Woman said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:19

    Dang, you’re being unfair to Wookies, Aleister Crowley, and Scott Evil’s mom. :-)

  12. Phoenix Woman said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:20

    And Brent Bozell looks friggin’ scary.

  13. FlipYrWhig said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:34

    Ben Domenech looks just like Cameron from _Ferris Bueller_, or, if that’s too sympathetic, perhaps that same guy’s character on _Spin City_.

  14. Giant Submarine Sammich said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:38

    Woohoo! I’m back baby! Imaginary people walkin’ through malls in fat suits can’t keep me down!

    – Teh Sammich

    p.s. Some people say that I look just like a Giant Hoagie.

  15. Otto Man said,

    May 14, 2007 at 15:55

    Well played, sir.

  16. marco said,

    May 14, 2007 at 16:00

    Malkin = bat boy = brilliant = 100% spot-on.

    Although Patrick Bateman is a serial killer, that’s no reason he should be slandered as a conservative.

  17. anangryoldbroad said,

    May 14, 2007 at 16:31

    That was,as the kids say on the internets,Teh Awesome.

    Malkin as Bat Boy,hilarious.

    These would make some good t shirts if you had a pithy quote to match each one.

  18. roy edroso said,

    May 14, 2007 at 16:32

    You… you monster!

  19. Ginger Yellow said,

    May 14, 2007 at 16:49

    Can’t find the right image on Google, but Schlussel is definitely Swamp Thing.

  20. Ginger Yellow said,

    May 14, 2007 at 16:50

    Goddammit. I meant Estrich is definitely Swamp Thing.

  21. Neal Peart said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:08

    Plus ca change
    Plus c’est la meme chose

  22. MrWonderful said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:20

    (“algorithm,” not logarithm, although look–they’re anagrams).

    More than excellent, in the proud tradition of Spy’s Separated At Birth (which itself was inspired by some Private Eye thing).

    I’d add:

    John Derbyshire = Mormon “prophet” Roman Grant (= creepy movie actor Harry Dean Stanton).

  23. SamFromUtah said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:23

    Excellent!

    Logarithms – is there anything they can’t do?

  24. HTML Mencken said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:29

    Thanks for the correction. I’m an idiot and terrible proofreader. At any rate, it’s fixed now.

    I can’t get to it now but I’ll see what I can do later about adding Rudy Chaney Phantom.

    Thanks for all the compliments!

  25. Dorothy said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:30

    That photo of Althouse reminds me of the painting “The Scream”…
    or the cryptkeeper.

    Bill O’Reilley as Don Knotts…wow, I never would have seen that, but it works.

  26. Ann Althouse said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:39

    Genius. Pure genius. But I should be at the top.

  27. R. Porrofatto said,

    May 14, 2007 at 17:53

    Fuckin’ A! A tour de force. Ledeen and Gilles de Rais? Inspired.

  28. kc said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:14

    Malkin/Bat Boy – hahahahaha!

    Now I feel guilty. That was way too much fun.

  29. t4toby said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:18

    Props, dawg. Mad props.

    You certainly have earned free BTs if you ever come to Seattle.

    PC Police be damned. That shit is funny.

  30. Legalize said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:23

    I totally forgot what this thread was about after viewing a lot of funny pictures of assholes who look like people. I seem to remember that Vince Neil’s good name was dragged into a thread featuring Dan Riehl, and that just isn’t fair to Vince.

  31. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:24

    I no longer have to worry about whether or not I’ll get to have sex with Malkin…I can just do the Bat Boy, who I hear is easy.

  32. Otto Man said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:36

    It’s hard to pick a favorite here, but Bill O’Reilly as Ralph Furley is inspired. Weak, panicky old man with a pathetic lewd side. Perfect.

  33. Dan Someone said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:55

    You didn’t do Rummy

  34. Dan Someone said,

    May 14, 2007 at 18:58

    Bah, it didn’t link to the image. And I am not skilled enough to figure out how to get it onto Flickr and link to it there. Suffice to say that according to MyHeritage.com:

    Rumsfeld = Farrah Fawcett (73%), Rupert Murdoch (71%) or Sophie Marceau (71%). Who knew?

  35. John said,

    May 14, 2007 at 19:14

    dude, don’t be hating on arthur poindexter like that. i liked the electric violin, and he did grow up to be danny kincannon…

  36. Frederick said,

    May 14, 2007 at 19:23

    I never wanted it to end.

  37. KnaveRupe said,

    May 14, 2007 at 19:42

    Maverick bootlicker “Saint” John McCain = Cotton Hill, shinless father of Hank “King of the” Hill.

    Seriously.

  38. mikeg said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:16

    Two things that strike me:

    All of these wingers are almost shockingly ugly.

    They all cultivate dreadful facial hair for some reason.

  39. Gus said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:17

    Brilliant. I’ve seen that first picture of Mickey Kaus before. I generously thought, maybe that’s a bad picture. But he’s obviously the ugliest motherfucker I’ve ever seen.

  40. Otto Man said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:26

    They all cultivate dreadful facial hair for some reason.

    I think they do that to obscure the natural blushing they experience when they spew the bullshit arguments they make.

  41. Otto Man said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:27

    Wow, was that poorly written. I could get a job at the White House with sentences like that one.

  42. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:41

    If you had a job at the White House sentences would be your greatest fear.

  43. Galactic Dustbin said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:48

    huzzah! teh Sandwhich is back!

  44. GKenny said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:57

    (raises hand shyly)
    May I point out, um, that I myself referred to Mr. Kaus as “Geico-caveman-doppelganger Mickey Kaus,” complete with bloggingheads screengrab, back on March 25? (glennkenny.premiere.com/blog/2007/03/wanking_in_la.html#more) Not because I’m so into getting credit, but because I want the larger world to understand just what I think of Mickey Kaus? Or at least, I guess, a portion thereof, because I have more thoughts about Mr. Kaus than merely how his mug cracks me up.

    Thanks, guys.

  45. Dr. Squid said,

    May 14, 2007 at 20:57

    I got that thing of Byron York and I thought that other picture was of Mike Score from A Flock of Seagulls.

  46. Satan luvvs Repugs said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:00

    Wow, great detective work.

    No wonder no one has ever reported seeing Debbie Schlussel and Vince Neil together! She must be his secret identity. Or visa versa.

  47. Jim said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:03

    “Randroid philosopher and advocate of collective punishment Leonard Peikoff = Sadist and antiquities thief Arnold Toht”

    Clearly untrue – clearly, the true balance to the equation is ’80s Nerd fixture Eddie Deezen.

  48. a different brad said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:06

    Awesome, except why yah gotta harsh on the Swedish Chef like that?
    Hingdee-hooour de fluoooooor

  49. Repusyort said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:21

    I’m callin’ foul on the Brian Cherry = Iva Davies example. Anyone with eyes can tell Brian’s the double for Chad Kroeger of Nickleback.

    Which is an entirely different level of suck.

  50. Some Guy said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:32

    Justin Darr looks more like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Critic to me.

    Haha! Tor! The Beast of Yucca Flats!

    I would also accept “Jaws” for Malkin.

    And would suggest http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Ray_bolger_scarecrow.jpg for Coulter.

    “If you liked this, please consider hitting our newly-installed tip jar. We’ve got abortions to pay for, gay marriages to buy licences for, sacks of weed to purchase, stacks of Bibles to torch (and gas costs money).”

    What, you haven’t gotten on board with hemp-power solar panels for your sub-compact, 12 horse-powered foreign car?

  51. sarah said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:42

    wow, that was pretty excellent. nice addition of peter beinart’s wingnut in party hat photo!

  52. Republic of Palau said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:46

    Dinesh D’souza IS Mr Bean

  53. J— said,

    May 14, 2007 at 21:53

    Rock and roll, HTML. One small note of constructive criticism, if you don’t mind. The silence of Pamela’s absent thunder is ear-splitting.

  54. thelogos said,

    May 14, 2007 at 22:30

    I imagine that crazy of that caliber requires extra research.

  55. Gentlewoman said,

    May 14, 2007 at 22:32

    Awesome, HTML. Just…genius.

    Caused a major Fresca spewage in the GW household.

    I highly recommend hp monitors and Logitech keyboards, btw, they can really withstand a great deal of both human and feline abuse. I do not work for either company, nor do I have any financial interest in either. I don’t think the cats do, but they won’t let me see their portfolios, so I can’t be sure.

  56. Sadly, No! said,

    May 14, 2007 at 22:46

    Wow — someone deserves a raise. Wow.

  57. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 14, 2007 at 22:52

    Jim Rutz = the Mekon of Mekonta.

  58. RobW said,

    May 14, 2007 at 22:55

    Jeff Goldstein = 1970s singer-songwriter Cat Stevens I’d have gone with Serpico, but I could see looking elsewhere- why give him the satisfaction?

    Am I the only one who looks at the swimming John Podheretz and can only think of Danny DeVito?

    And by the way, as long as you’re giving credit for ideas, how about a shout-out to Spy Magazine for its long running “Separated at Birth” feature?

    Those quibbles aside, another awesome post.

  59. t4toby said,

    May 14, 2007 at 23:02

    And they say the Marijuana dulls the senses….

    Sadly, No!!!1!

  60. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 14, 2007 at 23:15

    And they say the Marijuana dulls the senses….

    Four-period ellipses? Burnout!

  61. Retarded Donut said,

    May 14, 2007 at 23:23

    That was mean. That was just so mean.

    I’ll bet Bat Boy and Tor Johnson will be crying themselves to sleep tonight. I hope you’re happy.

    I may not be around for awhile because I’m going on a vacation to Earth-T, the alternate Earth that is just like ours except for they had Tor Johnson for president from 1963 to 1969 instead of Lyndon Johnson. Tor got the U.S. out of Vietnam early on just by telling the Pentagon, “Time for go to bed.”

    Ed Wood’s movies in this reality are REALLY WEIRD.

  62. skweetis said,

    May 14, 2007 at 23:52

    joe leiberman = erica jong

  63. Dr Zen said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:16

    Big up Retardo. What a horrid bunch they are! Proves my theory that the right is composed of people who are getting their revenge on humankind for being hit with teh ugly stick. Leftists are, of course, uniformly gorgeous.

  64. not that pablo said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:17

    Shame on you and your lookism. Try wearing a Mickey Kaus costume and walking around the mall sometime and see how YOU get treated.

  65. Smiling Mortician said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:29

    Am I the only one who looks at the swimming John Podheretz and can only think of Danny DeVito?

    Or this thug.

    Seriously, HTML. This is some grade-A, top-drawer, howling-at-the-moon brilliance. Makes me want to hit the tip jar again . . .

  66. Smiling Mortician said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:31

    &%*#@ proprietary webshite.

    Fine. http://media.newtimes.com/id/21197/0

  67. M. Bouffant said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:31

    Damn! A work of genius! Bravo! But how do you soothe your eyeballs after looking at images of the undead over & over?
    Black Oak, dood! “When Electricity Came to Arkansas!”
    And “TV Brownshirt” Biff O’Reilly: “I’m not a real brownshirt, but I’m tough as nails here in my TV studio!”

  68. Smiling Mortician said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:37

    OK, so the Village Voice hates me. I can live with that. But wait — is that a mug shot of Derbyshire?

  69. Harry Cheddar said,

    May 15, 2007 at 0:37

    Dude, everyone knows ephemera fetishist James Lileks = Talosian zookeeper. Or maybe Mr. Macky.

  70. anangryoldbroad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 1:10

    I have a Black Oak Arkansas story,seriously.

    Somewhere around 1980ish I lived in Plain City,Ohio. A one stoplight at a 4 way intersection little town in the middle of Amish country.

    So,one evening I was strolling along and crossing the street when out of nowhere a van came flying around a corner and hit me. And who was driving? Jim Dandy himself,and the rest of the band was in the back,on their way to a gig in some out of the way Ohio burg(probably Hilliard,OH,the closest”larger”town). They took me to the ER,made sure someone from my family got contacted,got my contact info,and about a month later they sent me a check to cover my doctor bills and some money left over.

    Hey,I was like 19 or 20 at the time,and living in poverty,it was the most exciting thing that happened there in awhile.

  71. Robert Green said,

    May 15, 2007 at 1:11

    that may be the greatest waste of time in the history of this or any other internets.

    i’m hitting the tip jar so hard its whole family will hurt.

  72. mikey said,

    May 15, 2007 at 1:18

    And this, you see, is why, like Lassie and a little boy stuck in a well, I tend to call Sadly, No my home on the intert00bz. Lots of people are smart. Lots of people are funny. Lots of people have insight and wisdom and help me get through my day.

    But lots of people don’t have a crew like this, a savage, twisted sense of humor like this, the willingness to take a gig to its logical conclusion no matter what that requires or what the cost might be. Y’all are like the bratty kid in the family, scary smart but underachieving, prefering instead to execute elaborate practical jokes, snot on one sleeve and chocolate ice cream on the other. I think I’m gonna hang around some more and see what else you come up with…

    mikey

  73. Robert Green said,

    May 15, 2007 at 1:24

    ok, so i did the thing with the myheritage.

    george galloway? george fucking galloway? really? that’s my number one?

    leo dicaprio number 3?

    What in the living fucking hell fucking fuck.

    donald sutherland, the meat in the galloway/dicaprio sandwich.

    oded fehr and ron livingston have showed up twice with two very different photos.

    i hate you, sadly! no.

  74. thedarkbackward said,

    May 15, 2007 at 2:01

    Alright – so we’ve already used Monty Burns…here’s mine.

    http://thedarkbackward.livejournal.com/57878.html

  75. ifthethunderdontgetya™®©³² said,

    May 15, 2007 at 2:06

    Hooray! So this is what you meant by:

    HTML Mencken said,

    May 9, 2007 at 6:12

    Hanks, spellcheck! When I get a paying gig at several ostensibly liberal publications after totally blowing the Iraq War question, I’ll be sure to use you!

    ITTDGY — The Sammich will strike back soon.

    Teh awesome…I will hit the paypal button (and also for Jesus General, I owe those guys, too).

  76. a cranny mint said,

    May 15, 2007 at 2:06

    I must admit I laughed hard enough to get tears in my eyes when one of my male friends had a Sally Stuthers match. Another female friend matched francois mitterand. Make you really have lots of faith in the facial recognition technology

  77. Mr. Todd said,

    May 15, 2007 at 2:33

    …quite possibly the greatest post ever…

    i nearly lost my frosted flakes on K-Lo

  78. Willy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 2:40

    AWE-SOME!

    More of M’Jon! She may be whack but she’s good on the eyes. Can’t get past that whack factor tho.

  79. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 15, 2007 at 3:55

    the galloway/dicaprio sandwich
    Eurk. I didn’t need that.
    The bleeding has stopped, but I’m on my second transfusion.

  80. Hysterical Woman said,

    May 15, 2007 at 3:55

    TL;DR, Dick Cheney.

  81. Mary Jones said,

    May 15, 2007 at 3:56

    Norman Podhoretz = Aleister Crowley

    Damn–Uncle Al doesn’t deserve that!

    oh, and Rumsfeld = Granny from the Bevery Hillbillies. It’s the glasses.

  82. Candy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 4:02

    Bravo! An Academy Award performance.

    HTML, you look just like Alice In Chains guitarist Jerry Cantrell in that pic, which ain’t a bad thing at all, at all. Jer is one of teh finest evah.

    My only quibble: Jeff Goldstein should be so lucky as to look like Cat Stevens, one of the most gorgeous creatures ever to grace an album cover. Gross Stain doesn’t even come close.

    This post is a work of art. Amazing! And the Salt Creature from Star Trek – gah! I’ll never look at Susie the same way.

  83. Candy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 4:12

    anangryoldbroad: A guy I was dating in the 80′s was on the road with a band who had the same management company as Black Oak Arkansas. A friend of mine also knew Jim Dandy really well, the result being that we partied with them a couple of times, and did those boys ever know how to party. Jim Dandy was kind of a mess by this point, overweight but still going on with the tight white spandex and with a nasty drug problem, but he still had a lot of presence, and was super polite and a ‘just folks’ kind of guy. I remember his coming up to me backstage and saying, “Hey, little girl, lets us do a couple of shots of that Jack.” And we did. Fun times, lucky I lived throuh them.

  84. lobbey said,

    May 15, 2007 at 4:18

    “Am I the only one who looks at the swimming John Podheretz and can only think of Danny DeVito?”

    A bit, but that picture looks more like an advert for a gay cruise.

  85. dan said,

    May 15, 2007 at 4:51

    that was hilarious- i’m crying laughing right now.

    the best ones, by far, were hugh hewitt and brent bozell. i dont think i will ever stop laughing

  86. EdsAppliance said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:04

    Jeff Goldstein?

    That asshole got a job yet?

  87. Doug Watts said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:23

    I will never blog again. Neither will Burt Bacharach or Hal David.

  88. Fred Grandy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:26

    Doesn’t Gopher, the yeoman purser, get any retro-love ?

    [sobs quietly into well drink at empty holiday inn bar ]

  89. mitch said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:27

    teh awesome.

  90. Doug Watts said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:28

    mikey is always right.

  91. Isaac Newton said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:31

    If I could see farther it is only because I took a tire iron and beat the crap out of those giants who were standing in front of me with the big hair.

  92. mikey said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:35

    Fuckers deserved it. Hey, Isaac, hit that one again, he’s trying to get up…

    mikey

  93. Mehitabel the Abyssinian said,

    May 15, 2007 at 5:49

    If I have seen further that other cats, it is because I clawed my way up the back of the tallest human in the room, and sat on his head.

  94. HopeSpringsATurtle said,

    May 15, 2007 at 6:12

    Bravo!! Well done. Unbelievable amount of work, thank you for doing it. I’m linky-loving your piece at my place. Oh, and I have an uncanny nomination

  95. Harry Cheddar said,

    May 15, 2007 at 6:21

    “I have a Black Oak Arkansas story . . .”

    Oh yeah? Well the lead singer from Pure Prairie League had unlawful congress with my schnauzer Amie. Still sends her a bouquet of milkbones every christmas.

  96. links for 2007-05-15 « Dark Corner of the Empty Head said,

    May 15, 2007 at 6:27

    [...] Sadly, No! » Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition Here I go again, being worse than Hitler in that I am about to engage in Looksism — a practice which, as I have been lectured to “enlightened� by my betters, is “cut from the same cloth� as racism, sexism, etc. (tags: wingnuts funny) [...]

  97. plagarist commentor said,

    May 15, 2007 at 7:11

    I do hope that images of this Daffy Duck rip-off don’t wind up burned into the world’s permanent memories of the mid-east in the same way that swastikas and lightning-bolt double-S’s have become burned into the world’s memories of 1930s Germany. It would forever tarnish something that is precious and innocent.

    The swastika symbol can be traced back centuries into the past, and had many positive meanings before the Nazis appropriated it for their own despicable ends. I think, before this, it was considered a lucky symbol, and was also a martial-arts symbol.

    The Nazis also appropriated the lightning-bolt double-S motif as their own. It, too, predated the Nazi party, and was very popular at the time. At least as far back as the 1920s, so I’m told, German street signs for roads that had a double-S in their names had the distinctive lightning-bolt letter-pair in place of regular S’s in the name.

    I sincerely hope something like this does not happen to Daffy Duck! From that point onwards, for the rest of eternity, Old Walt would surely spin in his grave so fast it would burn the inside of his coffin!

    Oh, and, -Get a job hippie.

  98. RubDMC said,

    May 15, 2007 at 7:16

    Wow, Ann Coulter has really let herself go…

  99. skippy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 7:35

    hey, you forgot douglas feith and egon from ghostbusters.

  100. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 15, 2007 at 7:43

    I believe I have solved the great sandwich conundrum.

  101. billy pilgrim said,

    May 15, 2007 at 7:43

    Herr Doktor, nice check on the Mekon….

    HTML knocks yet another Sadly Post right the hell offa the intertoobz. I’m glad I didn’t read this earlier today, or I would have never finished anything productive….Woulda had to go search out that bad boy Mencken to ascertain that his crop does indeed, make that fucker this fuckin funny….

    Tor Johnson. Heh. One of my favorites, and doesn’t deserve the comparison, just regular ole mutant trying to make a living in LA, hooking up with an angora wearing movie producer and single facial expression…

    I prefer to think that Brian Cherry looks like any random member of Molly Hatchet- especially the dead ones.

  102. cucaracha said,

    May 15, 2007 at 8:17

    Damn.

    Drinks on me in BK.

  103. Shana said,

    May 15, 2007 at 9:17

    Know its been said before here, but somehow I feel the need to say it again- I MISS SPY!!! Thank you for the separated-at-birth re-birth. Well done.

  104. Lesley said,

    May 15, 2007 at 9:47

    My favourite is Susan Estrich, with Debbie Schlussel coming a close second.

    You’re much too kind to Jeff Goldstein (only because at one time Cat Stevens was physically gorgeous). Your previous depiction of Jeff as Napoleon still rulez.

    Awesome work.

  105. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 10:36

    I totally told y’all the Empire of Sammich would strike back!!!

    I am so hoping this will eventually smoke out piny, ilyka, zuzu and the rest of the ann bartow clones, ’cause I’m totally in the mood for another flamewar on that front. Hmmm, maybe if I ask Gavin to photoshop Bat Boy spitting out a ping pong ball, that’ll do the trick…

  106. HopeSpringsATurtle said,

    May 15, 2007 at 11:12

    I forgot about this one

  107. J— said,

    May 15, 2007 at 13:30

    Your previous depiction of Jeff as Napoleon still rulez.

    I’m fond of Goldstein as St. Andrew.

  108. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 13:54

    What a horrid bunch they are! Proves my theory that the right is composed of people who are getting their revenge on humankind for being hit with teh ugly stick.

    Looksist! Ampersand will never link to you. NEVER!

  109. Lawnguylander said,

    May 15, 2007 at 14:06

    Excellent work and all the links caused me to flush another day’s productivity down the crapper but I still say Coulter and Schlussel look they’re finna form a Nelson tribute band. Just not nearly as hot.

  110. Nullifidian said,

    May 15, 2007 at 14:30

    Also consider the similarities between Vox Day and the gangster murderer and thief Mackie Messer in the current Studio 54 production of Die Dreigroschenoper.

  111. boil said,

    May 15, 2007 at 14:49

    Thanks for the laffs.
    Judy Miller-Davy Jones?

  112. solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short said,

    May 15, 2007 at 14:57

    H-Menck, don’t getcher hopes up. They’re busy banning internet pornography by degrees.

    If you’re looking to start an intra-lefty-blog mosh pit, may I suggest something provocative along the lines of “Fuck I care if some sorority chick shows nip?”

    Hey, by the way, could you guys take the coins out of the tip jar, put ‘em in a sock, and code red Mikey into writing his memoirs?

  113. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 15, 2007 at 16:28

    can we please have a moratorium on whining that feministe were mean to you? you’d think you were some internet virgin who’d never been flamed before and its a little jarring to come across you still grumbling months later. especially after such a great post

  114. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 15, 2007 at 16:49

    as for the face recognition hoojimaflip im not sure its all its cracked up to be. i keep getting Johnny Depp as my top match, followed by either Natalie Portman, Ridley Scott or a young Yasser Arafat

  115. dex said,

    May 15, 2007 at 16:59

    stop engaging in gilbert gottfriedism!

  116. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 17:48

    can we please have a moratorium on whining that feministe were mean to you? you’d think you were some internet virgin who’d never been flamed before and its a little jarring to come across you still grumbling months later.

    ‘Whining’ is an awful self-serving way to put it. But since you mentioned it, it’s precisely because *they* don’t see the value of contextual ridicule and contempt (“being mean” when appropriate, to people who fucking deserve it) that I loathe them. I didn’t know that making fun of the stupidity of a *position and its holders* was ‘whining’ but now that I have been notified, I’ll be sure to put ‘whine’ tags on all my posts that make fun of wingnuts — since the process is the exact same.

    PS — since you liked the post, I hope you know you’re now a fellow-traveler in Looksism, and therefore on the same moral plane as a racist, sexist, blah blah blah. What? I’m a moronic asshole for saying that? Stop whining!

  117. kingubu said,

    May 15, 2007 at 18:44

    Alternate Beinart (as Jim Carrey’s character in Dumb and Dumber).

  118. Lesley said,

    May 15, 2007 at 18:48

    it’s their meanness that makes them ugly. well, most of them. coulter looks like she crawled out of a shitswamp, or the well in Ringu.

  119. Legalize said,

    May 15, 2007 at 19:57

    Falwell dead.

    Anyone watching the Yanks and ChiSox tonight?

  120. thelogos said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:00

    Falwell=Jabba teh Hutt…..what too soon?

  121. Lawnguylander said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:11

    Anyone watching the Yanks and ChiSox tonight?

    Nah, Mets-Cubs. Maine vs. Zambrano. Teh Mets rule. Even without Alou and Valentin and his best in the game pornstache.

  122. mikey said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:25

    The anteroom is elegant, dark panelled, hung with rich tapestries and thick velvet curtains. The carpet is a dark blood red, thick and luxurious. The furnishings are heavy, a supple dark leather with dark would and smokey brass. Jerry Falwell stands in the center of the room, gazing about with a sense of satisfaction. Sure enough, the leaders of the flock live well in the afterlife also.

    A door opens and an orderly appears. He is a handsome young man with close cropped hair, wearing a tuxedo. He approached Falwell with deference. “I’m very sorry to keep you waiting, sir. We’ve had a few issues today, and so have been unable to welcome you in the manner we had hoped”.

    Falwell smiles his oily smile, comforted by the young man’s obeisance. “That’s fine, young man. The lord’s work is never done”.

    The orderly bows his head in deference, but also to conceal his contemptuous sneer. “It is true, sir, the work is endless. The master will speak with you now”.

    A booming voice commands attention, filling the room seeming to come from everywhere, and from within. “Jerry Falwell. Your time has come. You have served me well, and your eternal reward awaits”.

    Falwell can hardly contain his joy. “Thank you excellency”, he purrs. “Serving you has always been my lifes work”.

    The voice booms out “And you have served me well. There are those, er, on the other side, who have not respected you, recognized your power. For that they will pay. With you at my side, we will continue to win the battle. My orderly will show you to your place of power”.

    As the door begins to swing open, a brilliant white light can be seen beyond. Jerry Falwell drops to his knees and prays “Oh Lord God, I am but a worthless servant, I do not deserve these gifts…”

    His prayer is cut off by an angry, evil laugh that booms through the room with agonizing power. “Lord god?” the voice sneers. “No, you do not deserve his gifts. You never truly served Him, and He knows it well. When I told him I had claim to your eternal soul, he didn’t even attempt to raise an argument. You know it well, Falwell, it has always been I you have served. And it is I that will provide your just rewards.”

    The door is open now, and through it Jerry Falwell can see the source of the bright light. It is flames, crackling with a menacing horror, and the cries of the tormented can be heard clearly. The orderly takes Jerry’s elbow, and leads him towards the door. “It is the future you promised” he whispers. “It is the future you will have…”

    mikey

  123. a different brad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:33

    Jerry Falwell, found dead in the outhouse, naked, with his mother’s corpse and a live pig. RIH, you pigfucker.

  124. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:35

    fuck sake HTML don’t get so defensive

    “PS — since you liked the post, I hope you know you’re now a fellow-traveler in Looksism, and therefore on the same moral plane as a racist, sexist, blah blah blah. What? I’m a moronic asshole for saying that? Stop whining!”

    i’ve always been lookist. looking like johnny depp as i do i can afford to sneer at ugly people. i dunno who you’re supposed to be talking to here, presumably the ever-popular StrawCritic. I don’t have a problem with the fat funny fotoshopping. (altho i must confess you’d be on much shakier ground photoshopping a bone through Star Parker’s nose), and i have to bring the topic up another ten times before i can legitimately be accused of whining.

    you’re conflating two entirely separate positions here. the first being the feministe position which is “dont make fun of fat people” and my position which is “making fun of fat people is fine but working a reference to a several-months old blogwar into every single one of your posts is getting a little bit tedious and slightly creepy”. the whining was in reference to the latter. as for the swedge itself i thought you and gavin defended yourselves pretty well in that comments thread, and if i remember rightly you wrote another post a couple days later stating your position and your criticisms of feministe in quite a bit of detail. so why are you still going on about it? no-one likes to be called a cunt, but this is the internet, what did you expect? despite what you seem to think i’m not on their “side”. i barely read feministe and i got slagged off in the same post as “objectively anti-nerd”, the point is, these things happen. what’s the big deal? someone calls you a prick and you go round and piss through their letterbox. that should be the end of it. you’re not doing yourself any favours by obsessing.

    “it’s precisely because *they* don’t see the value of contextual ridicule and contempt that I loathe them.”

    this is a little bit over the top. do you really think the blogosphere should consist entirely of “wingnuts in party-hats”? feministe don’t have to believe in “the value of contextual ridicule”. they do their thing and you do yours. that’s kind of the point of the internet. you can’t expect everyone to read from the retardo hymnbook, but that’s ok as long as you do. Jill and Zuzu are entitled to express their opinions about everything under the sun (and even use nasty words doing it) but they can’t censor anything you do or say so all their huffing and puffing is just hot air, and whatever they think about contextumalism isnt going to stop you making jokes about Mann Coulter or ping-pong balls.

  125. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:51

    Falwell goodies.

    Man, God’s killing wingnuts all over! Ford, Kirkpatrick, Pinochet, Howard Hunt, now Falwell. I’m sure Robertson or Dobson or Moon can tell us why God’s doing this, but I bet they won’t.

  126. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:53

    Ah, Gavin took care of it.

  127. a different brad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:03

    Ich, I sort of agree HTML could drop it, but shit. It’s partially his blog, and we all have our pet peeves. If I had the platform to continue irking them I probably would, too.
    The Feministe contingent were real assholes. They expected HTML to bend over backwards in apology, and to his credit he didn’t. So they took a cheap shot. If someone called me racist for, I dunno, criticizing the nation of islam, I’d say fuck them and say irked a while. Liberals calling other liberals hateful or biased when they have no other argumentative moves to make is practically part of Godwin’s laws by now.
    N besides, this place is in no small part about tweaking the self-righteous, n while I know any feministe fan will read what I’m about to say as me calling them folk there bitches, they’re arrogant and stuck-up. Yeah, I know. I hate women. Must be, cause y’all are perfect and RIGHT.

    Shorter me:
    HTML has every right to remain pissed.

  128. HTML Mencken said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:38

    icho, look:

    it’s not that they attacked me, it’s that through their attack I was introduced to the stupidest bunch of shit ever. and it astounded me and continues to astound me. This shit, from my side! They would ban everything from Voltaire to Comedy Central Roasts to my dumb inconsequential drivel.

    1. Looksism employs the rhetoric of — and therefore cheapens — the rhetoric and argumentative techniques used to combat genuine bigotry. Racism’s something I fret over; I don’t wanna be a racist. When they accuse me or the thousands of people who come here and laugh when we cheap shot a wingnut of a moral crime ‘cut from the same cloth’ as racism, I get really fucking offended — especially when the net beneficary of their actions will be the genuinely racist, sexist, etc wingnuts who are, you know, the real menaces to civilization.

    2. People who use ‘looksism’, well, I can see how they got there. Their position is a layer cake of co-opted bullshit. I can see where they are well meaning people, most of them, but tried to make a unified field theory out of something that was meant for context and accounted for contingencies. Makes me wanna puke. They think they are merely being consistent, but this, this is finally the stupid sort of consistency Emerson was talking about.

    3. ‘I do my thing, they do theirs’? Well, fuck, why doesn’t that apply to the wingnut-moonbat paradigm, then? Cos it can’t. Opposties clash. I’m not forbidding them for doing anything. But if I can steadily ridicule the stupidity of wingnuts, why can’t I steadily ridicule the stupidity of overinvested Stalinists who would rather be batshit fundies about their gig than allow the principle that it’s ok if someone else kicks a wingnut in the teeth like the wingnut deserves? I don’t want to be a purist except about war. Otherwise, I’m a big tent Lefty. But they won’t let me be that way, and I see now it’s because what they believe is so totalitarian, they can’t let anyone be that way. So I think it’s right to steadily attack the beliefs that make them so dogmatic and strategically homocidal-suicidal (by which I mean, taking the whole Left down with them). I’m not against feminists at all; looksism and fat acceptance aren’t at all synonymous with feminism, no matter what the Feminste crew thinks to the contrary.

    4. Not to be a braggart (cos I hate that), but I knew this post would be pretty good. So I strengthened the sneer at the top because I wanted to reinforce how stupid *the idea* of looksism was — that if you laughed at this post, by the logic of looksism you were an agent of evil or, at best, misguided and deserving of a trip to the re-education camp. How self-evidently preposterous is that, huh? How utterly fucktarded. Well, yes, exactly. I keep bringing it up because I believe in ideological overkill — that you can never discredit an awful idea or belief and its followers enough. I care about the Left. This isn’t whining; it’s strategy and calculated political maintenance.

    Can you just let me make fun of or sneer at people I think are stupid without calling me a whiner? That’s all I ask, dude.

  129. Batocchio said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:29

    Bravo!

  130. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:29

    Shame on you, Mencken, for pointing out that some people are as ugly on the outside as they are on the inside. Also, Farrah = Yanni = Stossel for an Unholy Trinity (printed/recorded/filmed) mind-destroying terror.

  131. Smiling Mortician said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:27

    For once, I’m not whining* about the fact that there’s only been one new post in the last day because this one’s the gift that just keeps on giving. It’s gonna take me days to click through every link, but it’s worth it. Thanks again, HTML.

    * ooops, I said “whine.” My bad.

  132. kingubu said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:14

    What kind of whine goes with a GIANT SAMMICH?

  133. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 16, 2007 at 19:11

    this probably wasnt the best post to ambush you on, as the sammich stuff was actually relevant, but its been an ongoing thing for (sub. check dates). and the whole “Here I go again, being worse than Hitler in that I am about to engage in Looksism — a practice which, as I have been lectured to “enlightenedâ€? by my betters, is “cut from the same clothâ€? as racism, sexism, etc.” bugged me somewhat. It’s the strawman passive aggressive “oh noes the pc police are coming to get me because i are a rebel against their fascist conformity” that i characterised as whining.

    i don’t think you got my point. you can say whatever you want anytime you want. that’s what blogs are for. you can slag jill & co off as much as you want, you can call them every shitein cunt under the sun, its your prerogative. and because sadno has a fairly liberal comments policy i can criticise you for it. if you choose to ignore me, fine, if you continue to reference the feministe blogwar every day till 2011 that’s up to you. i won’t stop reading you if you do, but i decided to slag you off about it because i think you’re better than that. martyring yourself might feel good but in the end its going to impact on your output. how are you going to type with your hands nailed to a cross? but anyway,

    “Well, fuck, why doesn’t that apply to the wingnut-moonbat paradigm, then? Cos it can’t. Opposties clash. I’m not forbidding them for doing anything. But if I can steadily ridicule the stupidity of wingnuts, why can’t I steadily ridicule the stupidity of overinvested Stalinists who would etc. etc.”

    i’m not suggesting you don’t react to things you disagree with or refrain from attacking people or sign up to josh trevino’s blogtegriblog blog (RIP), you already reacted to it. you had the argument. you said everything that needed to be said. it’s done. you don’t often reference the same wingnut attack every couple of days for months. you havent even talked about the ginger jedi’s attempt to out you as much as you’ve talked about this. the modus operandi should be “smack down then move on”

    “They would ban everything from Voltaire to Comedy Central Roasts to my dumb inconsequential drivel”

    what they would like to do is irrelevant, the fact is they can’t do anything about it. they’re just some people with a website. (do they actually want to ban you or just make rude comments about you? you seem to be fudging the issue a bit and i can’t face going back and checking)
    As for them being “on your side” i’d have thought you of all people would be aware of the major faultlines that exist in left blogistan. the people who run feministe are not on your side anymore than you’re on matt yglesias’ side. its one of the peculiarities of american political life that anyone vaguely to the left of joe lieberman is called left-wing, and as a consequence the “left” blogosphere is full of dozens of mutually conflicted groups who all hate each other. soft liberals and hardcore DLC types, single issue campaigners versus vague things-must-change populists. left-wing activists and technocratic beltway wonks. they’re not going to get along. why are you so surprised that a website devoted in large part to identity politics attacks you from a PC position? feminste aren’t part of a unified social movement any more than sadly, no is. they’re a bunch of people who started a blog because they felt their voices weren’t being heard and wanted to get their ideas out there and if they’ve got an opinion about something they’ll say it, and probably call someone a cunt into the bargain. it’s fairly common. you should understand this better than most, after all, the comments of your anti-centrist posts tend to be full of wankers shouting “don’t rock the boat!! yglesias/beinart/alter/whoever are on our side(temporarily) so you have to pretend to like them. we’ll have no stalinist purges here thank you very much!! if you extremist moonbat naderite wankers would just shut the fuck up for five minutes maybe we could get something done!!” and its all bollocks. they cant get anything done. they didn’t build the blogosphere. there’s no market for dull upper-middle class technocratic arseholes dispensing beltway wisdom and neoliberal economics. yglesias isn’t on your side and never has been. the blogosphere is made up of ten million people with ten million opinions many of whom hate each others guts. it’s one of its strengths. if everyone was forced to have the same opinions and recite the same talking points no-one would bother blogging at all.

    “I’m a big tent Lefty. But they won’t let me be that way, and I see now it’s because what they believe is so totalitarian, they can’t let anyone be that way. So I think it’s right to steadily attack the beliefs that make them so dogmatic and strategically homocidal-suicidal (by which I mean, taking the whole Left down with them)”

    they wont let you? How are they stopping you? surely part of being a big tent lefty is tolerating assholes and differing views? juxtaposing the term with words like “totalitarian” and “stalinist” and saying they want to “tak(e) the whole left down with them” just makes you look silly. you might as well start talking about the “PC police” and “liberal gulags” and have done with it. remember this is an internets dustup that 99% of americans have never heard of and did no actual harm to either side.

    “I knew this post would be pretty good. So I strengthened the sneer at the top because I wanted to reinforce how stupid *the idea* of looksism was — that if you laughed at this post, by the logic of looksism you were an agent of evil or, at best, misguided and deserving of a trip to the re-education camp.”

    “Looksism employs the rhetoric of — and therefore cheapens — the rhetoric and argumentative techniques used to combat genuine bigotry”

    If you don’t want to cheapen rhetoric to combat bigotry i’d suggest stopping all the “stalinist re-education camp” bullshit.
    there have been concentration camps in the US in the past and there will be in the future. there were plans not that long ago to build camps to imprison illegal immigrants en masse, and thousands of people have been arrested and held without trial, some of them for years, enduring torture and deprivation with no-one knowing what’s happened to them. that’s stalinism and it’s happening right now, and white male lefty bloggers aren’t one of the groups targeted. If you’re really against cheapening bigotry you should reconsider this sort of stuff cos right now you’re the fat guy saying “I’ts not my fault! i have a glandular problem. when you call me fatass you’re just like the Ku Klux Klan!” feministe are not the NKVD and Left Blogistan is not North Korea. Would Zuzu put you in a concentration camp if she had the chance? i’ll go out on a limb and say “probably not”. would Jill torture you for six months in a stinking basement jail before blowing your brains out and dumping your body in a mass grave? maybe, but only if you left the toilet seat up. (ho ho). And as for the SomaHuicide pact, People are always convinced that what some random powerless eejit is doing will be the death of the left, or the reason the democratic party collapsed, but its bollocks. blogtopia(N!IDGASWCI) is like the WRP, no-one in the real world gives a shit about the schisms and backstabbing that seem so important from the inside. the thing that kills the left is people saying “it’s people like you who’re killing the left!” hither and yon and then nursing their grievances for twenty years. It’s significant that both sides in the Fat Wars used this argument. it can be used to defend any position if you try hard enough, but in the end it just becomes meaningless

    “Can you just let me make fun of or sneer at people I think are stupid without calling me a whiner? That’s all I ask, dude.”

    No.
    this has been another edition of monstrously unfair answers to reasonable questions. although to be fair you got 100 or so positive comments before i turned up and pissed over everything

  134. Doodle Bean said,

    May 16, 2007 at 19:32

    Ya shouldn’t have done that to Cat Stevens and Prof. Frink. And Ric Ocasek and Don Knotts are probably spinning in their graves!

    So, in conclusion, keep up the good work!

  135. HTML Mencken said,

    May 16, 2007 at 20:08

    Well, you got me on the reeducation camp thing; I shouldn’t have said that. But the Stalinist thing holds because that doesn’t necessarily imply NKVD or gulags; it connotes in this context intellectual totalitarianism.

    Also, either it’s my crappy writing or your crappy tone-deafness or both, but there were no martyrous intentions with the first paragraph of this post. It wasn’t resignation; it was a sneer, a gigantic middle finger in the face of abject stupidity.

    As for the rest of your concerns, well, here is where it does matter that I was personally attacked — I didn’t give a shit about their axe-grinding before. While I admit I have long been aware of and annoyed with the NAAFA types, I never said anything about it here. I never even argued identity politics here; I thought, well, that’s their gig and when it comes to racism and sexism and homophobia, specialized blogs need to cover that stuff even monomanically. I was content not to bother with their industry; even after they *whined* about the first Daffy post waaaaaaay back in the day, I said nothing.

    But no, they couldn’t leave well enough alone, had to fuck with me, had to fuck with this blog again, and in reply then I came to discover what was under the rock I’d theretofore not bothered with lifting and looking under — “looksism” and living breathing strawfeminism in the form of Twisty Faster. So there it was, everything i was annoyed with before but reticent about, plus a good deal more to find disgusting.

    Would they censor me? Probably not. Their prefered method is more sneaky — they’d insist that I censor myself.

    Also, never underestimate tone’s effect. Being ‘educated’ by some condescending gasbag is intolerable enough when that’s the tone taken by some fucking wingnut. But wingnuts are stupid and evil as a default, and it’s easy to blow that off and make fun of it from, believe it or not, a point of considerable disinterest. Being ‘educated’ by people who can claim with some turthfulness a manner of decency — which they then pervert — is something else entirely. What I mean is, as much as I despise wingnuts, wingnuttery in general is so cartoonishly evil that I can turn the passion on and off, at least most of the time. With these sammich fucks, it’s different; I get mad in a whole different way. I think, also, this has a lot to do with how I think about speech and humor. While wingnuts have their ‘lefty incivility’ trope they pepetuate to my disgust, it, to me, isn’t as bad as wanting to wish insult comedy from the face of the Earth. Both positions are anti-Enlightenment in the extreme, but the latter hits me on a more personal level. The wingnut position is contingent — it has to be to cover their own asses. Most wingnuts allow, at least in theory and maybe only in private, that there are situations where incivility is fine — like say, when Dick Cheney is on the floor of congress. Yes, this is hypocrisy. But of course it is. Still, it’s true that there are cases where one should be civil — it’s just not in the cases wingnuts insist upon. OTOH, the sammich fucks don’t allow that ‘looksist’ incivility *is ever permissable* — nor, so ideologically totalitarian are they, is it permissible to even *think of*. Of course they can’t stop me; but knowing that they *want* to stop me and everyone else from enjoying the life-gift of a righteous insult directed at physically-mentally-’spiritually’ ugly people, makes me livid.

    One more thing. You assume that I keep nursing this and it alone is enough to sustain my bile. It’s not. As soon as it abates (because I do have a terrible attention span, and hovering from one topic to the next is my natural state) it’s ressussitated by something newly stupid they’ve said or done, that is linked at LGM or Atrios or TAPPED or on Memeorandom — like Garance’s shit about Hillary, like Garance’s age-limits to nude modelling stupidity, like Zuzu’s crap about Kos’s silly blase response to stalking being about WOMYN!! and how Markos hates womyn!! and only women are ever fucked with by wingnut sociopaths!! And how Kieth Olberman is obviously a woman because he was sent white anthraxy powder, and how the countless liberal bloggers who have been stalked and outted and threatened are all WOMYN!!! and, poof, everything gets brought back to a boil, and I think of the sammich along with the new stuff.

    So, uh, yeah, thanks for pissing all over this.

  136. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 21:14

    And I’m gonna sit 100% night security in this neck-deep hole with HTLM until the sun rises. He’s right, they’re loonies, and throwin a little H&I in their general direction is not only good for the conscience and the soul, it’s kinda fun too…

    mikey

  137. Lesley said,

    May 17, 2007 at 3:20

    George Bush resembles Ted Bundy.

  138. Some People Have WAY Too Much Time on Their Hands « Constitution Club said,

    May 17, 2007 at 6:55

    [...] Entertainment — Andre the Defiant @ 9:54 pm HTML Mencken over at Sadly, No! decided to have a little fun with the facial recognition software that tells you what celebrities you (really don’t) look like, and submitted a photo of the [...]

  139. Aughr’s Blog » links for 2007-05-17 said,

    May 17, 2007 at 18:20

    [...] Sadly, No! » Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition Sadly, No! comes up with many, many wingnut lookalikes. It’s amazing. (tags: humor wingnuts) [...]

  140. Sadly, No! » Today In Demagoguery said,

    May 21, 2007 at 19:55

    [...] adds: Famous lookalikes, wingnut edition (slight [...]

  141. Terry C - End Bush's War Now! said,

    June 2, 2007 at 22:03

    The Rabid Pekingese, Michelle Malkin, looks as though she’s waiting for someone to throw her a fish.

    Rightards ARE ugly people, inside AND out.

  142. Sadly, No! » This & That said,

    June 6, 2007 at 7:09

    [...] updated the Wingnut Lookalikes post with entries on Rudy, Wolfy, Pipes, Frum, and some others I’ve already forgotten. [...]

  143. Outside The Tent said,

    June 6, 2007 at 17:57

    [...] of Huckabee and Gomer Pyle, the definitive study of wingnut look-a-likes is this post by HTML Mencken at SadlyNo! WARNING: Do not be eating anything while looking at HTML’s post [...]

  144. t4toby said,

    June 6, 2007 at 20:14

    Worth a trip back.

    I still think the Malkin = Bat Boy is brilliant. It comes to me out of the blue and makes me chuckle like a maniac every time it crosses my mind.

  145. Davis said,

    June 7, 2007 at 20:14

    Love the use of WB cartoon characters, esp. Tweety Hyde.

  146. Sadly, No! » Cliff Schecter iz my homeboy said,

    June 27, 2007 at 13:37

    [...] know why do many of us use “lookism” to attack wingnuts, peeps? Because it’s [...]

  147. Joe said,

    September 8, 2007 at 18:21

    Should add John Bolton as Yosemite Sam

  148. Nimrod Gently said,

    December 21, 2007 at 0:17

    *whinnying*

  149. Sadly, No! » ‘All Cretans are Liars,’ Said the Cretin said,

    January 11, 2008 at 14:55

    [...] Wingnutien Mark Steyn chatted yesterday with Hugh “Bodacious Ta-tas” Hewitt, and, as is their wont, after they decided that any stick would do, they picked up a [...]

  150. Nimrod Gently said,

    May 21, 2008 at 22:16

    So Cheney looks most like Dick Cheney? Interesting.

  151. looks like said,

    June 30, 2009 at 16:19

    how dare you insult rick ocasek like that

  152. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 17, 2009 at 4:38

    This is still awesome, HTML.

    You should have your intern add links to the individual wingnuts.

    When you have time, of course.
    ~

  153. ClubPenguinCheats said,

    April 4, 2010 at 3:27

    Don’t be hating on arthur poindexter like that. i liked the electric violin, and he did grow up to be danny kincannon…

  154. nya spel said,

    June 27, 2011 at 20:05

    Super-Duper web site! I will be Caring this!! Is again, I’m getting your own give food to also, Thank you

  155. Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition « The Agonist said,

    September 24, 2012 at 3:43

    [...] £8.7bn takeover by Thomson » Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition By Tina, on May 15th, 2007 Must see! :D From Sadly, [...]

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  157. Sadly, No! » Failure Calls Failure A Failure said,

    February 21, 2013 at 16:09

    [...] Hughe Hewtit award nominee, non-cancerous [...]

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