I’m beginning to think there won’t be any forced mating at all.

I’m beginning to think there won’t be any forced mating at all.

Don’t be silly; of course there will. After all, I’m sure there are SOME 22 year old men out there passed out on couches for them to forcibly mate with. Or maybe Congressional pages.

Shouldn’t that first one read “Sex with Mike S. Adams is bad for you.”???

I cannot imagine it myself.

Is Star Parker that batshit insane lady from The View?

Regarding the Harry R. Jackson, Jr. article — what drug is Spellings on? Remind me to make sure to avoid that drug at all cost. From the look on her face, that @#$% really causes one bad trip!

“his kind of honesty and candor is only possible with a candidate for whom the truth is more important than the job. And it sounds like Fred is ready.” – Star Parker’s screed

Huh? Whaza? Huh? What is wrong with these people? Are they all still enamored by this 3,000 year-old man’s red pickup?

Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love!

Cubert, using the voice modulator to sound like Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I’m a horse’s butt!

Farnsworth: I am? That’s not very good news at all!

Are they all still enamored by this 3,000 year-old man’s red pickup?

Nah. It’s gotta be the Gucci loafers…

Doesn’t Phyllis Schlafly have a gay son? (No way am I clicking on that link: I can’t afford another eye replacement.)

Cubert, using the voice modulator to sound like Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I’m a horse’s butt!

I was just about to post this one. Fantastic.

I’m beginning to think there won’t be any forced mating at all.

Gentlemen… Behold! CORN!!!

(so very NSFW)

Finally, a new Townhall! And not a moment too soon! The Globetrotters just held a press conference to announce that I was a jive sucker.

“Gentlemen… Behold! CORN!!!”

“It’s not different at all; is it Steve!”

OMG! My sides are aching. And i really want to see the yaoi that was synched up with ATHF.

From the Mike S. Adams piece:

And she is now beginning to learn that there is no condom for the heart.

Mike Adams & The Townhalls — No Condom For The Heart (3:36)

And let me add: if you drink alcohol, know this: there is no condom for the liver.

On the other hand, if it’s really raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock and it’s muddier than bush’s english, you can slip a condom over the muzzle of your rifle and secure it with a rubber band (or another condom used as a tie). If the shit hits the fan you can just fire away right thru it, with confidence that you don’t have half the countryside in the barrel…

mikey

there is no condom for the heart.

And in his next column, Dr Mike will address the lack of quadruple by-pass surgery for the penis.
Is there such a thing as a Total Eclipse of the Brain? I think I am suffering from one.

“Big Burt” Prelutsky is having a problem. He wrote “The Left is Brain-dead” but he seems to have meant “The Left Side of my Brain is Dead.”

Mike S. Adams: “Regardless of your religious affiliation, please don’t allow the official campus religion of moral relativism [i.e. sex permissiveness] to invade your mind, your body, and your soul. It happened to me 24 years ago. I’m still recovering from it today.”

Predictable. Yet again a middle-aged anti-sex crusader manages to slip in the fact that of course when HE was on campus he fucked non-stop day and night. But now he knows better. In one stroke he both establishes his mega-studly macho cred and preaches from the moral high ground.

I first saw this over 30 years ago working a summer job between high school and college. A slightly older coworker tried to make a fundie Xtian out of me. When sex came up he made it clear he was NOT a virgin, but that he wished he was, as not waiting for marriage was a terrible, sinful mistake that he deeply regretted. Didn’t fool me then, doesn’t fool me now.

And she is now beginning to learn that there is no condom for the heart.

No, but they work pretty well to keep actors’ sweat from shorting out their mic pacs.

Predictable. Yet again a middle-aged anti-sex crusader manages to slip in the fact that of course when HE was on campus he fucked non-stop day and night.

Funny thing in my case is that I’m closer to middle age than my undergraduate years and I’m closer to fucking non-stop day and night now than I was back then.

As if you all wanted to know that…

I keep expecting that to endcap these Townhall columns. “This time… shall be different! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!”

According to the credit list for the compilation this came from; it’s called [wtf] “Boku no Sexual Harrasment”. [/wtf]

It’s from AMV Hell, which is sort of “Robot Chicken” for anime music videos. Just a word of warning: while most of these are relatively safe viewing, those clips came from “AMV Hell 0”, which is where all the Hentai/Violent/Racist/Offensive/Explicit Lyric mashups went.

Why is it that Townhall columns all sound like the repartee between Farnsworth and Wernstrom?

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedia/EpisodeSounds/1ACV08/

Professor: “Oh my! Did it put you young whippersnappers in your place?”
Wernstrom: “Hardly! We laughed until our teeth fell out.”

Or that they leave me with this reaction from the same episode?

Woman: “The transmission cuts of there, sir.” *more retching* “No, I guess it keeps going…there we go.”

For example, Grossman tells the story of one college freshman who started having uncontrollable crying spells. His depression became so severe that he sought help at the student health center. It did not take long for the therapy sessions to reveal that her problem was a “friendship with benefits” he established during the fall semester. He and his casual sex partner had agreed that they would just sleep together without dating. But he was beginning to long for something more. That college freshmen was me.

Regardless of your religious affiliation, please don’t allow the official campus religion of moral relativism to invade your mind, your body, and your soul. It happened to me 24 years ago. I’m still recovering from it today.

I can’t tell if the Adams piece was simply using the conceit that it was a “welcome to the class” talk for freshmen, or if it was actually something Adams said to his incoming Intro to Criminal Justice class. If the latter, you gotta wonder: What the hell does this have to do with criminal justice? Is this an example of professors using their classrooms to propagandize about issues completely unrelated to their subject matter, like that guy from Flaccid Aces was talking about? Because if so, I think he got it backwards.

But he was beginning to long for something more. That college freshmen was me.

yes, he wanted something more than a few nights of mere lustful, er, companionship… and she was crying because he ignored her as she kept telling him not to call anymore, and to quit scaring her friends, and showing up at her door at two in the morning, and looking through her windows, and stealing her panties from the laundry room…