Police Blotter
Some choose virginity, some have it thrust upon them — and unfortunately, some then turn it around and thrust it upon others at Young Republican events:
Michigan Young Republican pleads guilty in sex case
The former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans admitted today that he sexually abused a colleague during a national convention here last summer.
Michael Flory, a 32-year-old attorney from Jackson, Mich., pleaded guilty to sexual battery on the day he was to stand trial for rape.
Above: Why do they all have this exact facial hair?
The plea bargain, [the prosecutor] said, doesn’t include any suggestion of leniency, and the state will seek incarceration. She also said she hopes to present evidence of several “other incidents of sexual misconduct” in which Flory took advantage of vulnerable young women.
“Oh whew,” Republicans are saying, “I thought it was another closeted-gay sex crime. People might’ve started to think there was something psychologically wrong with us.”
The victim, who is 22, declined to speak after Flory’s guilty plea.
She and some supporters lamented when the incident became public last winter that Flory and his followers within the Republican organization had been smearing her reputation in retaliation for accusing Flory of rape. [Prosecutor] Skutnik said she found that to be true.
Who would imagine that Republicans would do such a thing.
“People were using every opportunity to try to trash her, on Web sites or whatever,” the prosecutor said. “He’s been running around telling everybody what a piece of trash she is, so she was very happy to see him plead guilty.”
Why, we’re beginning to suspect that ‘trashing’ and ‘smearing’ are what right-wingers reflexively do when they’re guilty of something.
As Brad has learned all too well, auto-related crimes are also on the rise:
Detectives are investigating possible links between the men accused of gunning down two Brooklyn cops and an alleged million-dollar scam at a Long Island auto dealership.
While probing the murder of car salesman Collin Thomas outside the showroom of Universal Auto World in Lawrence, L.I., in January, cops unraveled what they said was a massive scam at the dealership.
[…]
As part of the homicide probe, Nassau County police raided the dealership, owned by auto czar Michael Oshry, and Oshry’s Hewlett Harbor home and seized business records.
Cops found banking records were sent to the house, though the state requires such files be kept at businesses, according to court papers filed in a civil forfeiture action by the Nassau district attorney.
“The dealership knew what was going on,” an investigator said.
Oshry’s lawyer, William Petrillo, said his client “has not engaged in any criminal activity.”
His ex-wife, Pamela Geller, former associate publisher of the New York Observer and a conservative blogger, burst into tears when told her ex is under criminal investigation.
Although listed in business records as a Universal co-owner, she denied it. “I have nothing to do with this,” Geller said.
Above: “Yull nevah prove nuthin’, ya frickin’ Muzzie camel-humpah!”
Here’s something I’ve been wondering… if this guy’s thirty-two, what’s he doing running the Young Republicans? I thought that was just for college-age Hitler-Youth wannabes, not skeezy near-middle-agers looking to bang co-eds?
Or was he just practicing for future Congressional Pages?
Is it irresponsible to speculate she is a part of this crime? Its irresponsible NOT too!
FREE PAMMY
Can we get a “Wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah” please?
There aren’t that many young republicans left – or, more like, there won’t be any soon. So they reach up in age and to the bottom of the barrel in order to keep strongmen that will keep the puppies yipping (and apparently yiffing) along.
Soon, the proverb will go “If you aren’t a conservative by the time you are forty, you were apparently born late enough to escape it.”
Why do they all have this exact facial hair?
Because a full beard would make you look like a damn dirty liberal hippie … but ya gotta have SOMETHING on the lower half of your face to balance the fact that there’s, like, a gazillion square inches of forehead above.
Xel,
More like “If you aren’t a conservative by the time you’re forty, you probably weren’t sexually abused by an authority figure when you were young, turning you into a self-loathing closeted homosexual.”
But that doesn’t scan as well as yours…
wow. so many republican sex scandals… it’s getting hard to keep them straight. my brain throbs under the load.
That’s because most of them aren’t straight.
Thank you! I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Atlas wept.
Above: Why do they all have this exact facial hair?
Because eating paste and oral assault don’t mix.
Simba: you missed out on all the options presented by ‘getting hard’, and several relating to ‘reformed’ gays and the belief that you can make and keep yourself straight
B+
And most of ’em don’t have brains, so something else has to throb.
Don’t forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders …
Quick! How do you pick a Young Republican out of a crowd?
The jumpsuit!
(rimshot)
“If you aren’t a conservative by the time you’re forty, you probably weren’t sexually abused by an authority figure when you were young, turning you into a self-loathing closeted homosexual.”
how about
“If you aren’t a conservative by the time you’re forty, you were probably an ugly child “
Ah, so that’s why Pam was so freaked out by the fawty million cawp caws. As I write this, she is feverishly stuffing bikinis, fake passports and prop children into her Israel, Ho! emergency suitcase.
“Why do they all have this exact facial hair?”
Because they are from the evil Spock universe!
What is with the early 30-ish leaders of Young Republicans and their sex crimes?
First this guy, and now there’s Glenn Murphy Jr.
What is it about the YRF that seems to turn their leaders into sexual predators?
The goatee is sort of like the mullet, which is touted as “Business in the front, party in the back.” The goatee is more acceptable for business than the Grizzly Adams look, but to the wingnut brain it also whispers, “Rebel.” Perhaps it should henceforth be known as the Wingnut Face Mullet.
i’m sure there’s an innuendo in “the load” as well. but i’m too tired to be sure.
Demn fine Photoshopping, sir. Demn fine indeed. Demn me, sir, but that is some excellent Photoshopping. I salute you and your (etc.).
please don’t do that to the goatee (well, it’s really called a van Dyke)
“Why do they all have this exact facial hair?”
Because they pluck hairs out at the edges as a form of self-flagellation whenever they have impure thoughts about men.
Thank god somebody at Sadly No! has woken up from their usual skunk-induced coma at last and linked to that Oshry story. I have felt a bit of a tart for posting links to it all over the place in comments – perhaps as well as a tip jar you should have a 555 we tip line so you pick up on perfect little jems such as the Oshry story sooner. Now I can get back to my Bombay Sapphire Coma. A G&T please waiter!
perhaps as well as a tip jar you should have a 555 we tip line so you pick up on perfect little jems such as the Oshry story sooner
Umm… something apart from that “Contact” tab at the top of the page?
“Wingnut Face Mullet”
Wow. Present at the birth of teh most awesome new expression! I love it!
I was gonna say that another repub sex scandal ain’t news. Show me a repub who ain’t a creepy perv – now, that’s news.
But, jeebus, “Wingnut Face Mullet.” I peed my scrub pants.
That Oshry/Monk pic needs to go in the 2008 Sadly, No! calendar with the Michelle Mao-lkin photoshop.
I was sexually abused by an authority figure when I was young, and I am really hurt that you would even think that I might be a conservative or a young republican.
It’s just adding insult to injury.
1. It is hateful and vile to call them hypocrites.
2. God has forgiven them – ALL of them.
3. Profit.
4. The scary black men make them do it.
5. blah blah blah, Clinton, bark bark bark, liberals, whine whine whine, support the troops.
He can always join the military and go to Iraq as a condition for getting a lighter sentence. I’m sure as a Republican he’ll jump at that chance!
“Wingnut Face Mullet.”
(ba-ba-DUMP!)
COPYRIGHT that damn thing! Now!!!
Ohmigawd, I gotta catch my breath…
“Situation
“1. Closed Long Island Universal Auto World under investigation in alleged million-dollar scam
“2. Owner Michael Oshry to be indicted for larceny, fraud, falsifying written statements
“3. Possible link being investigated w/ Jan killing of salesman Collin Thomas outside dealership.”
link
Looks like Pammy’s alimony and child support gravy train are about to hit a brick wall. Bye bye blogging!
if this guy’s thirty-two, what’s he doing running the Young Republicans? I thought that was just for college-age Hitler-Youth wannabes, not skeezy near-middle-agers looking to bang co-eds?
Well, Baldur von Schirach was in his mid-to-late twenties when he was put in charge, so they’re just following their model.
“Wingnut Face Mullet”
Band Name!!
mikey
Looks like Pammy’s alimony and child support gravy train are about to hit a brick wall. Bye bye blogging!
My thoughts exactly, thus the bursting into tears. No astonishment, no surprise, no shock, just tears… from seeing what she had feared coming to light being revealed.
She is probably a minority owner of that business, unless her ex borrowed a LOT of money to give her a fat, fat, cash settlement. Maybe it is time for her to get a real job. Suggestions, anyone?
I always wondered where the money for Pam’s boobs came from.
Why do they all have this exact facial hair?
I don’t know, but I will point out that Matt “I’m not even smart enough to be as dumb as Mark Noonan” Margolis has the same face ‘do as well. I’m just saying….
“Wingnut Face Mullet” is entirely too funny.
I just read the linked article, and Pammy IS a part owner. That means she got her share of the business, plus support.
She is likely very, er, illiquid right now.
Next up: financially strategic marriage for Pammy! I wonder who the mark/john/lucky fella is going to be…
Maybe Pammy can wear a SuperGirl outfit to court.
The so-called “wingnut face mullet” keeps me from falling nose-first into my pan, I’ll have you know.
Podicentric bigots.
Crank retailer?
I can’t think of anything else Pammy is qualified to do. I can, off the top of my head, think of some jobs she’s not qualified to do:
1) Day Care
2) Singer
3) Makeup artist
4) Public speaker
5) International diplomacy
I believe the proper term for Mr. Flory’s facial hair style is, “the pudding ring.”
The facial hair thing kind of reminds me of the insult truckers used to throw at hippies:
“Why do you cultivate on yer face what grows wild around yer asshole?” In the case of the wingnut face mullet, the hair *is* growing around the assholes . . . the ones they talk out of.
If they don’t learn their craft, they deserve what happens. Most anybody running an illegal op long term will learn to pull a certain amount of cash out on a regular basis and either put it in safe deposit or, more common now, offshore it. I would do some of both – immediate access to cash is always good.
The idea is if you get hot, you can shut it down and live in comfort. And if you have to disappear, you have the funds available.
So if Pammy doesn’t have a pile of greenbacks stashed somewhere by now, she pretty much deserves all the bad things that will now happen to her…
mikey
For those of you having trouble keeping track, here is a handy guide to conservative perverts found guilty:
http://www.armchairsubversive.org/
I hereby bequeath all the royalties from any use of “Wingnut Face Mullet” to SadlyNo! and WorldO’Crap, and should they decline, to their mutual offspring, legitimate or illegitimate, in thanks for many, many greatly appreciated belly laughs, guffaws and chuckles.
wow. so many republican sex scandals… it’s getting hard to keep them straight. my brain throbs under the load.
I’m sure Just make sure you have plenty of free storage!
That’s http://www.correntewire.com/refresh_your_memory_the_gop_has_always_been_the_party_of_perverts
Sorry, didn’t close tags properly, but the link works.
If Pammy’s gravy train goes bye bye, she might have to shop at…Target.
Poor, dear.
So,when Pammy’s gravy train screeches to a halt,is she gonna have to have a yard sale? I’d almost make the trip up to go to that one.
Don’t, you know, *ARABS* shop at Target? Pam may have a melt-down.
Please, please, please let her be hauled into court, if only as a witness. And please, please, please let the judge have a Lebonese or Persian surname…
More jobs Pammy is unqualified to do:
6) Copy editor
7) Web designer
8) Video producer
9) Fact-checker
After seeing her in that god awful pink dress, I know for a fact she has no taste.
That would be one terrible yard sale.
Eeeeeew.
has anyone been to her site? is she posting?
Because they are from the evil Spock universe!
WE are the evil Spock universe. In the good spock universe President Al Gore has been leading the country for the past 6 years
Oh it would be a tacky ass yard sale to be sure,but I’d love to get some video or pictures.
more for the “jobs not qualified to do” catagory:
10) fashion consultant
11) clothing designer
12) Voice coach
[…] I loves it: Detectives are investigating possible links between the men accused of gunning down two Brooklyn cops and an alleged million-dollar scam at a Long Island auto dealership. […]
13)Interior decorator
14)documentary narrator
And here’s at what else she’s not qualified for:
15) Dunkin Donuts Mystery Shopper
16) Surrogate mother
17) AA program administrator
18) Restroom attendant
19) Exotic dancer
20) Supermodel
Wait, Pammy got her picture taken with Tony Shalhoub? Please don’t tell me he’s a wingnut.
Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?
Quick! How do you pick a Young Republican out of a crowd?
He’s the 45 year old.
Pamela Geller, …, burst into tears when told her ex is under criminal investigation.
“This will look bad on me!, Waaaaaaahhhh!!!”
21) Decent mother
22) Anything which requires compassion
I think Gavin is just the photoshop MASTER, HW
They aren’t gay either. I think the phrase you’re looking for is sex offender
And it isn’t that something happens to them to turn them into bizarre fetishists and pederasts. That really isn’t very likely. Rather it is quite the opposite. When you want to build a powerful political machine how do you keep your drones in line? Sure, you could hire the Monica Goodlings but that only goes so far. Much better if can seek out and find those with embarrassing sexual desires, video tape them and use that to keep them obedient. Then, just to keep them loyal you can supply them with suitable fodder to keep them happy. Look up the Franklin Bank case in Oklahoma.
Kathleen,
Yes, Pam has been posting up a compensatory storm. Her latest post (2:32pm) suggests that Gavin has her rattled:
“There is a very promising program that was presented at the recent Defcon hacker convention. It is a method of detecting doctored digital photos and video.”
Such nattering neighbobs of negativity,
Ever think of what Pam is qualified to do?
1) Guinea pig for new medications
2) Anti-masturbation campaign poster girl
3) Al Swearingen’s new whore
4) Rush Limbaugh’s stash holder*
5) Replace Tucker Carlson
6) Move to Miami, grow old(er), and accidentally vote for non-kosher fascists
7) Reverse dominatrix for lefties with anger to work out
8) Toll Collector….. wait. maybe not. she might refuse to allow arabs onto public bridges
9) Emergency pool flotation system
10) Wicked Witch of the East (Hamptons)
*Provided she doesn’t develop an oxy habit.
Her latest post (2:32pm) suggests that Gavin has her rattled:
“There is a very promising program that was presented at the recent Defcon hacker convention. It is a method of detecting doctored digital photos and video.”
hee!
Someone really, really did not want to pay extra for that True Coat ™.
One day he’ll marry and anally rape his wife like Republican David Hager.
Free the Juggs! Free the Juggs! Leave her in jail!
Gavin you made front page on Memeorandum!!
For some reason, rightwing blogs are covering this story.
err, “no rightwing blogs are covering”
Bombay Sapphire Coma
Band name #2.
Dear Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue,
I don’t share your childhood experiences but despite my constant lurking here and my love for all the regular Sadlys, I have to admit I’m a little hurt. It took me so long to respond ’cause I went into the bathroom and shaved my goatee. Now I got the wierdest tan line history has ever recorded. I don’t know what to do about my friggin’ giant forehead. I guess I got the wrong ideology or something.
I guess we can call her Pamolla now. Woohoo, good times.
I hope her alimony payments derive from his criminal acts and she is forced to cold call for sammich-making jobs. It’ll be even better if she’s connected. Pammy as an accessory to mayhem and murder would be awesome.
Does anyone else think that
sex offenderYoung Republican looks a lot like a fatter Firefly‘s Jayne, Adam Baldwin?Cause I’m finding it uncanny.
ADB: OK then.
11) John Bolton’s moustache groomer (that must be a full-time job)
12) Vodka taster
13) Air-raid siren
14) Voice talent for the next “Left Behind” video game
“The Michigan Young Republicans’ Web site once hailed him as ‘one of the rising stars of GOP politics in America” and declared that “Mike has earned a great name for himself.'”
But you forgot that you have to wait until you’re elected to Congress or get your presidential appointment before you can do shit like that.
It’s a perk of priveledge, doanchanow.
And let’s not forget: the Democrats are the party of immorality. Ann Coulter said it, so it must be true. 😀
Hee hee. Think Pam projects much?
The left is completely without morality. Morally bankrupt, they are a pox on this great nation.
I always wondered where the money for Pam’s boobs came from.
Those are boobs? I thought they were like Roomba bumpers, preventing damage while she runs around bouncing off walls, with lots of sucking.
Those are boobs? I thought they were like Roomba bumpers
Hey, no one ever said they couldn’t multi-task. There’s even some evidence to suggest that they’re prehensile….
mikey
The Wingnut Welfare Wurlitzer can pay her to teach abstinence courses at redstate middle schools. She’s a living demonstration of why straight guys should never let the little head think for the big head, because if you stare at those towers of medical silicone for too long you may end up paying alimony to someone internationally known for making an… annoyance… of herself on the intertoobs. Much safer to confine yourself to surfing vlogs with the assistance of Mrs. Rosey Palm…
Yeah, men, I can hear you screaming in protest from here, but 14-year-old boys have no standards, and we have every reason to believe that most of Pamela’s supporters (also Malkin’s and Coulter’s) are typing with one hand.
I’m just wondering if the criminal investigation will tie the source of Ms. Ostry’s alimony to illegal immigrants. Maffiya or Chinese gangs would be best, but the last bunch of large-scale car smugglers I remember getting MSM facetime here in the Northeast were Brazillians using Columbians as foot soldiers. It’s too much to hope that Muslims should be involved, even if Dubai is supposed to be one of the world’s great centers for this kind of organized automotive re-homing, right?
‘Why do they all have this exact facial hair?’ – to make their mouth look more like a vagina?
“Yeah, men, I can hear you screaming in protest from here, but 14-year-old boys have no standards, and we have every reason to believe that most of Pamela’s supporters (also Malkin’s and Coulter’s) are typing with one hand.”
We men won’t say anything. The boys, on the other hand…er, their free hand… oh, never mind…
Yeah, men, I can hear you screaming in protest from here, but 14-year-old boys have no standards, and we have every reason to believe that most of Pamela’s supporters (also Malkin’s and Coulter’s) are typing with one hand.
As a straight man over the age of 30, I’m quite capable of recognizing that gazongas, naturally perky or polymer-enhanced, require attachment to a sentient being to provoke amorous interest. Ardor for Pammy, Annie and Shelley would be akin to being attracted to dung beetles enhanced by lady lumps. Puh-leaze.
I’d rather take my chances with a flat black widow. Less poisonous.
[…] as some might say, “why do all these straight dudes object to me playing their love recorders, do you think they think I am […]
[…] as some might say, “why do all these straight dudes object to me playing their love recorders, do you think they think I am […]
“Flory replied to Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Judge Peter Corrigan’s question, “Are you indeed guilty?”
“”Sure – yeah,” Flory said.”
CLASSY!
O.MOY.GAWD.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAvin! Whadday think yuh doin, stealing moy schtick, yuh FRICKin’ moonbat! Getchuh ass toduh Foive Towns and Oy’ll have John Bolton kick it from heuh tuh duh Miracle Moyle and back! Oy’ll buy yuh a haircut at nuBest along duh way. Yuy moonbats don’ know shit about hayuh! OMOYGAWD!
i preferred the dhimmi line.
I gotta jump in here in defense of the goatee. I will admit that I have a dog in this hunt, as this particular style has graced my face for several years now. There is nothing inherently conservative or wingnutty about the goatee, and I resent the implicit association with rape-prone Young Republicans simply by virtue of sporting the same facial accoutrement.
By the way, my personal goatee — which is about 57% grey these days — is just a compromise between the full beard I used to have and the flabby naked face I would show if I removed the thing entirely. Of course it’s intended to make me appear marginally younger, because fuck it, I’m vain.
So it’s an overworked, overused look. But I am comforted that it doesn’t look nearly as stupid as the lower lip caterpillars that the hep cats seem to be wearing these days.
Car Scam: I thought this happened in North Dakota. I saw the movie.
Dennis Miller sports that same exact facial hair, and they all long and/or pretend to be as big a jerk (-off) as Miller. Besides, it disguises their dreaded gayness like mustaches did in the 80s, while at the same time it advertises their dreaded gayness to fellow facial hair wearers who have broken the code.
Don’t worry, Dan Someone,
It’s that receding hairline slicked back slightly poufy look in combination with the goatee.
It makes him look like he got caught diving face first into “chocolate doughnut heaven” and hasn’t wiped yet.
And the beady eyes… those beady little hungry eyes.
I looked at his photo again… there’s just something more going on there. Then it hit me…
It’s his santorum sponge.
I would like to know who the evil fuck is that impersonated Pammy here. Not that you impersonated her, that you mentioned NuBest Salon. You bastard. I don’t ever want to read about NuBest salon at teh Sadly again. Fuck you. Think Susquehanna Hat Company.
I was first introduced to Ms. Oshry by my good freinds at sadlyno, or maybe worldo’crap. I can’t say that this has improved my meager existance on this plane. While laughter is hearty, every time I see Ms. Oshry I think of “five to the head” or “cap to the head” some ugly thing off a vlog that truly showed the depravity of this creature. (I’m not sure of the exact quote, but I sure remember the finger thing). So she has always offended me.
I usually don’t read through a comments log this long, but rules are made to be broken! This time I made an exception. I don’t watch much T.V., but I do read alot, so didn’t recognize the gentleman stading with Ms. Oshry. And it wasn’t until halfway down that I was tipped to Tony Shoub. And then I laughed and laughed and laughed. Now I’m going to go look at that picture again and laugh some more. Thanx.
Peace & Love, boc
[…] am just kicking myself for missing this little news tidbit from last week, courtesy of Gavin at Sadly, No!: ‘CAR-SCAM’ LINK EYED Detectives are […]
Wow, I was wondering when this story would get picked on the blogs…..ahhh well, I like the Photoshop at any rate. And yes, I AM enough like Monk to still not be able to handle the “new” song.
If arrested and convicted, Michael Oshry faces the maximum sentence possible – he’ll be forced to remarry Pamela.