Aug
8
8
Young Republican Head Blows Leadership Bid
Above: Cock-up leaves YRNC with a shorter staff
“I will essentially be the mouthpiece and effective leader for the tens of thousands of Young Republicans, 18 to 40, across the country,” said Murphy
At the time, few realized that he meant literally.
J. Smith said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:15
Cum on! This is jizzt plain mean. After all, Mr. Murphy must be foaming at the mouth with rage at these allegations. I hope he’s not sent to a penile institution.
I think he really go shafted here.
thelogos said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:19
LOL! A chicken-hawk doin’ the chicken-head!
Jake H. said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:23
More homophobia from the hysterical left! This publicly available police report is a private matter! What are you saying, there’s no room for sexual predators in the so-called “big tent” party?!?!?1/1/
I would like to observe that none of this would have happened if Murphy’s brain pattern had been uploaded into a computer.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:27
The fact is, he did what most liberals and dems do every night to much younger acolytes, some of them related, and get away with it. They should not be so quick to throw stones and be so hard on him.
Mike D said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:34
If that was Fake Gary Ruppert, [bing!], you win. I can’t tell.
If that was Real Gary Ruppert… [bzzt!] you lose.
Beavis said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:36
You said “hard”.
Heh heh-heh heh-heh heh-heh.
Foobarski said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:37
For he’s a jolly good fellator.
For he’s a jolly good fellator.
For he’s a jolly good fellator.
Which nobody can deny!
BigHank53 said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:39
Maybe he should have thrown a twenty into the deal, too. Cheapskate.
Gary Ruppert's little brother said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:39
The fact is, Gary is very hard on me each night when we bed down together in the migrant workers’ camp.
Gary Ruppert's Wife said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:48
The fact is, every time I try to play with “little Gary”, he starts talking about baseball, about how much he enjoys catching …
bl0ndej0n said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:50
That poor, sad, delusional little man. He has obviously been a self-loathing closet case for way too long. All of those years of wanking to internet porn and cheesy erotic stories convinced him that in real life you can get drunk with a straight guy, go down on him, and then everything will be totally hot and not at all awkward after that.
You are 33 years old dude. Way past time to get past the whole awkward pubescant fantasy phase and meet some actual gay guys who might have something in common with you. Its not like you are the only fat pasty gay Republican out there.
Hey, if your party stops being a bunch of hypocritical duchebags, maybe you can even get married someday and settle down in a nice suburban community with other assholes.
Time to grow up though and stop pretending that you are gonna make it with the hottie on the high school basketball team. That ship has sailed.
Little Gary said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:50
Hey, leave me outa this!
Glenn Murphy's New Bunkmate said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:50
Looks like ol’ Glenn’ll be hitting bottom. Shortly.
John Moltz said,
August 8, 2007 at 15:54
Has anyone used “cocksure” yet? If not then I’d like to point out he must have been very cocksure to think he’d get away with it.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:01
The fact is, we don’t know dick about what really happened with this spunky Young Republican.
GW Bush said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:06
He sure does have a purdy mouth . . .
MrWonderful said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:17
Oh, come on. As if every Republican, young or otherwise, isn’t entitled to pull a boner every once and a while. Let’s not be so hard on the Party members. Which of us hasn’t gone drinking, had a few stiff ones, and…uh…looked at our drinking partner and privately thought, “Would he?”
AJB said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:18
Another quote:
(link)
Otto Man said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:24
You can’t blame him. All the Republicans in the news have been doing the same things — U.S. Rep. Mark Foley (R-maf54), Florida Rep. Bob Allen (R-Rest Stop), Ted Haggard, Gannon and Sanchez, etc. etc. — so this young go-getter just assumed that was the way to the top! Or bottom!
MrSparkle said,
August 8, 2007 at 16:49
Dammit, Otto! You stole my line!
John Thomas said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:00
The harder I think about it, the more I believe that we here, and all the other members of the liberal blogosphere, are just trying to play Glenn Murphy for a sucker. If he was here, I’m sure he’d give us the tongue-lashing we deserve.
ovresmot said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:34
No more comment necessary:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xOaMb9xa5RQ
Thank you, Stiv Bators, for making us laugh at love, again.
Jillian said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:38
Well, now you know why there are so few women in the Republican party.
It’s just not the organization to join if you’re a gal looking to hook up with a guy.
Seriously – are there ANY straight Republicans at all? Can ALL of the anti-gay language in the Repub platform REALLY be chalked up to repressed, internalized homophobia?
Mr. Brown said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:45
I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Wally Whateley said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:58
Is Glenn Murphy the infamously photographed tie-chewer? Or was that another YR?
bl0ndej0n said,
August 8, 2007 at 17:58
“are there ANY straight Republicans at all?”
Well, possibly that poor kid who woke up to the sensation of Glenn Murphy’s stubble chafing his thighs. But then, he may have already switched parties…
BTW, I’ll bet $20, or a free blowjob from a state senator that Murphy would have been allowed to finish if he had been more careful with his teeth. Another victim of shoddy sex ed.
mdhåtter said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:24
Someone brought the funny today.
mdhåtter said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:24
“are there ANY straight Republicans at all?”
even the hetero-publicans are crooked, so, no.
Mr. Blue said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:26
How many dicks is that?
Kevin Bacon Holding Playdoh said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:26
Well, this explains the current Presidential situation I guess…. Republican men all claim to admire Bush, but behind the scenes they know it’s all Dick, all the time.
Mr. White said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:42
A lot.
Kip W said,
August 8, 2007 at 18:55
The big tent is looking more like a log cabin every day.
And now we sing
How many times must a Gop kneel down
Before he is no longer straight?
Yes, and how many times must a Gop whore around
Before his side gives him the gate?
And how many times must a Gop lie with men
Before he admits he has sinned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
Gidney N. Cloyd said,
August 8, 2007 at 19:03
In the great tradition of Augusto Pinochet, the YRs have disappeared Glenn from wikipoedia. Next you know, all mention of Alberto will be gone too.
E.g.: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_Republicans
The GOP: a party in denial.
The Consultants said,
August 8, 2007 at 19:32
Gavon,
Pursuant to our ISO 14001 quality review, the analogy techs pointed out that Murphy was not so much the “mouthpiece” as the “skin flautist,” or perhaps “skin d’souzaphonist”. Though the committee notes that could say he was a “piece of mouth” in a manner of speaking, even though the “ass” in the original phrase wasn’t meant to be entirely literal in common usage, so we think that’s out of spec. But we do agree that Murphy is a defective product and should be recalled.
If you have questions, please call our offices. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mau-Mau Chang
Quality Consultant
Mau-Mau Chang's Proofreader said,
August 8, 2007 at 19:38
Though the committee notes that could say he was…
You’re fired, Quality Boy.
mikey said,
August 8, 2007 at 19:38
Murphy was later confronted with the charges by the victim’s sister according to the report. The sister says Murphy admitted to her that he performed the sex act on her brother.
Well, thank goodness for that. Otherwise it woulda sounded a little like the black knight on the bridge.
You were sucking my brothers dick.
No I wasn’t
Of COURSE you were.
Nope. I was, uhh, checking for ticks. Can’t be too careful, y’know.
You’re gay.
Am not. I just hate ticks.
He said you were pulling on your own dick while you were doing it.
Well, I had to make sure I didn’t get the ticks on me, right?
mikey
Stocky Black Man said,
August 8, 2007 at 20:08
Why do all these Republicans keep sucking my cock?
Glenn Murphy's New Bunkmate said,
August 8, 2007 at 20:21
Stocky Black Man -
As Gayandhi once said,
First, they fear us.
Then, they fellate us.
Then – we WIN!
Shaggy Dog said,
August 8, 2007 at 20:49
One night Glenn Murphy found himself at a live sex show in Bangkok, where one of the acts was a young man named Douglas, whose specialty was that he was a contortionist who could “play his own flute”.
Murphy turned to the man sitting next to him and said, “Wow, I wish I could do that!”
To which the man replied, “Oh, you could. He friendly, Doug.”
Thankyewverymuch. You’ve been great.
Marion Barry said,
August 8, 2007 at 21:30
Speaking of people in uniform…
I wonder if Mitt Romney makes his 5 sons wear camo when they campaign:
“My sons are all adults and they’ve made decisions about their careers and they’ve chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard.”
He added: “One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I’d be a great president.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070808/ap_on_el_pr/romney_iowa
mikey said,
August 8, 2007 at 22:57
Well, shit. Don’t remember anybody offering ME that option in ‘69. I would have been delighted to work on the presidential campaign instead of joining the army. Hell, I’da worked on NIXON’S campaign if it would have got me a “get out of an loc free” card…
mikey
Mr. White said,
August 8, 2007 at 22:58
“I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.”
That’s a lot of dick.
Legalize said,
August 8, 2007 at 23:02
Wow, the whole no-gays-in-the-military thing makes perfect sense to me now. If all GOPers are gay, which obviously they are, the way to ensure that they’d never have to fight is by insisting that GAYS can not fight.
That’s fucking perfect
Mona said,
August 9, 2007 at 3:23
Oh for Christ sake’s people. Glenn Murphy is not gay. He just craves sex with men.
RobW said,
August 9, 2007 at 4:48
Sleeping men at that… I’m guessing he just doesn’t quite get the same thrill with a partner whose actually conscious and willing. This is his second time at this particular type of assault.
Per the CV posted on the dKos thread: he was the rush chairman for his fraternity, i.e. the guy responsible for making sure all the incoming freshmen are properly humiliated and paddled…
Seriously – are there ANY straight Republicans at all?
Well, there’s this guy… http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga/1185352776235720.xml&coll=2
DEMIZE! said,
August 9, 2007 at 8:51
He will go down in the anals of GOP.infamy.heh,heh.Couldn’t resist.
Jeff Gannon said,
August 9, 2007 at 13:49
Hmm, a pasty, white, fat young republican. Could be the next Karl Rove .
disgusted said,
August 9, 2007 at 15:29
Why is it the chickenhawks are the perpetritors of most homosexual acts, extras maritial liasons,sado-masichist parties and out and out cowardice and they still try to blame the Dems’ the Left the Progressives, or am I asking the wrong question, should it be a statement that they are following their Gutless Spineless Cowardly Leadership.
Sadly, No! » Police Blotter said,
August 9, 2007 at 16:46
[...] whew,” Republicans are saying, “I thought it was another gay sex crime. People were starting to think there was something psychologically wrong with us.” The [...]
josephdietrich said,
August 9, 2007 at 17:21
This has been yet another edition of Authoritarians and the Men Who Crave Them. Be sure to tune in next week!
Zen bonobo said,
August 11, 2007 at 7:54
Well. Clark County is on the edge of the Indiana Knobs. My gay neighbors say this sort of activity perpetrated by random pickle sniffers and Republican knob gobblers is giving legitimate queers a bad name.
Can’t something be done. Look at that suit.