How silly can you get?
Lots of other people have written about the latest Gonzo stuff (here and there) come to mind — but still, some editing helps focus one’s mind on how much of a useless lying hack Alberto Gonzales is:
GONZALES: I’m told that in fact here in the press conference I did misspeak, but I also went back and clarified it with the reporter.
SCHUMER: You did misspeak?
GONZALES: Yes. But I went back and clarified it with the reporter…
GONZALES: I clarified my statement two days later with the reporter.
SCHUMER: What did you say to the reporter?
GONZALES: I did not speak directly to the reporter.
SCHUMER: What did that spokesperson say? Tell me now, how do you clarify this?
GONZALES: I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you. [Emphasis added, incompetence in the original.
How does one even from twice saying “I clarified it with the reporter” to “I did not speak directly to the reporter” and “I don’t know what was said to the reporter” in a matter of minutes?
“So tell me, how painful was it when the doctor removed your sense of shame?” * Video.
Bradrocket adds: I beat you to the punch, bitch!
Seb adds: Get out of my post!
Alberto at work: 
[…] he say “Badbye”? Isn’t that the opposite of “Goodbye”? « Amazing How silly can you get? » […]
Wow, Dueling S,N! posts… Where’s the popcorn?
Seb, you look like a total dumbass trying to compete with Brad’s picture-enhanced post. Go find a silly picture and add it to your post and pretend it was there the whole time. I won’t tell anyone.
Boys, boys. There’s plenty of pure, juicy Alberto dumbness to go around. Sharing is caring.
You..You SHOT that man
No I didn’t. He tripped.
I saw you. You shot him.
It was self defense.
You shot him in the back.
It was preemptive self defense.
It was straight up assault.
No way. Clear cut self defense.
You’re a cold blooded killer.
No I’m not. I gave him first aid.
You…what?
First aid. You know. Medical assistance.
After you shot him.
Of course. He didn’t need first aid BEFORE I shot him. In self defense.
What did you do?
When?
When you gave him first aid. What did you do.
Well, I didn’t actually give him first aid. I left the area.
You left the area.
Well yeah. I shot the guy. I’m gonna stand around afterward?
Who gave him first aid?
The Paramedics, I guess.
You guess? What did they do?
I don’t know. Stopped the bleeding?
You don’t know.
Hey, I’m not a paramedic. How would I know?
….
I was told there would be hookers in this thread?
Sure hope I guessed right commenting on this thread. I like hanging with the cool kids. And I hate it when I have to eat with the nerds and dorks at the last table in the cafeteria…
mikey
Well, I’m here MIkey. That should tell you everything you need to know. I hope…
What a little turd.
When did our political process devolve into a Monte Python sketch?
That is some serious pathology going on there.
AG: “The world is flat!”
CS: “No it isn’t! See, we’ve got maps, globes, and satellite photos showing the world is round.”
AG: “The world is round. I’ve always held that belief.”
CS: “No you didn’t. Just five minutes ago you said it was flat!”
AG: “I did misspeak, but I clarified it with one of the people listening.”
CS: “Not with me you bloodly well didn’t! Who did you talk to?”
AG: “I didn’t actually talk to anyone who had heard me speak. I had some people speak to some other people about the matter.”
CS: “What bloody people! Who? Where? Who did they talk to, and what did they say?”
AG: “I’m sorry, but I can’t speculate about conversations I wasn’t present for. As a professional attorney, it wouldn’t be proper.”
Sweet crap on a stick, you really can’t improve on the original; try as I might, I can’t make this any more absurd than it already is.
That’s what Michael Palin should have told John Cleese.
“It’s stone fucking DEAD!”
“Well, I can look into that and get back to you…”
Undoubtedly, “Rub their noses in it ! ” was passed along to the Attorney General.
It’s like the “mafioso” who knows he owns the judge…
I’ll bet if you were sitting near him in the chamber, you could probably hear the brain cells banging into each other.
In his defense, it must be tough to live Life knowing that the only person who supports you is George Bush. And that only because he’s trying to cover his own ass. Cold comfort, indeed…
ITMFA !!
“…but I also went back and clarified it with the reporter.” THE reporter? He must be referring to Robert D. Novak™©®.
I believe the term “Choader” was coined for exactly the kind of person that is Alberto Gonzales.
The fact is that Wikipedia is wrong about Eugène Ionesco dying in 1994. In fact he changed his name to Alberto Gonzales.
I am only commenting in this thread because it has a picture taking the piss out of ballet.
So, when it says “Sadly, No!” it means Seb?
Dude! You’re, like, the Founding Father, and shit.
OKAY!!!
OH COME ON NOW YOU! This is obviously not perjury. It is plagerism. Gonzo is only doing a Marx brothers schtick to bring some levity to the proceedings. It is from “A night at the Opera.” Look it up up Moonbats. Liberals have no sense of humor.
and then I read the next post. . . a day late and a dollar short.
hehe I have been waiting for the patented SadNo bust-inna thread move to cause some insurmountable rift in the fabric of space-time. Only thing is I thought it would be Gav what started it.
Is the transcript up anywhere yet?
I was told there would be hookers in this thread?
And waffles!